For those that keep messaging me for an update, it was posted long ago, and it can be found here.
-----
Two weeks ago we were two weeks away from getting married.
She asks me to go to therapy with her. She was already seeing a therapist on her own, and wanted me to go with her and have a talk, before the wedding, where we could be completely honest with one another. That sounded a little weird to me, I thought we were already completely honest with one another, after all, we were getting married in two weeks, right?
Also, she was super protective about her therapy sessions, didn't really talk about them. I have never met her therapist. So to be invited there all of a sudden seemed a little out of place to me.
The day comes, and I go there. But out of self preservation, I had my phone opened and recording any audio.
My fiance was already there. I had to wait 20 minutes before I was invited in. The therapist greets me and shakes my hand. We have small talk. She tells me I am not at all the way my fiance described me. I think she is trying to compliment me. Then she looks at my fiance and tells her "this may be harder than we thought."
That absolutely weirded me out. But I am a calm and collected individual, and I don't react, just kept that dumb smile on my face we all have in awkward situations.
So the therapist starts talking. Has a small speech I don't care to repeat. My fiance takes my hand as the therapist starts telling me that "we live in a modern world, and that my fiance wants us to have a non-conventional marriage moving forward."
I smile, I am not sure what the hell that means, through my mind I am thinking she wants to talk how she will not be a slave to her husband, she will not sacrifice her work life, etc. Modern woman and girl power and all that.
Nope, she is actually talking about how once we get married, she wants to be free to sleep with other men.
The other non-traditional type of marriage. I forgot it's 2018.
But she loves me a lot, and would not be comfortable with me having the same "benefits".
Because she would be too heart broken knowing that I find other women attractive and that one of them could steal me from her.
So I let them finish talking. They were very fluent, and they got more confident talking, probably empowered by my lack of reaction, and because I wasn't saying anything. This was definitely something they have rehearsed.
I then asked the therapist if she is licensed. This, by her reaction, was not what she expected to be the first thing coming out of my mouth. She said yes. So I told her to explain to my fiance why we will not be getting married any more, and why we will not continue being a couple starting immediately.
I wished them good luck, and left the office.
Now, I want to report the therapist. I am not sure if I have to report her to the clinic, or is there a board that supervises therapists? I don't think their planning and attempt to corner me is professional conduct, and I want her to pay for the misconduct. That "session" did not sit well with me.
To be clear, there would have been no positive outcome to this talk my fiance and the therapist had with me. Even if she wanted a completely open marriage, where I could sleep with other women, the outcome from my part would have been the same. That's is not a marriage, that is a sham.
It also dawns on me, she might have cheated on me. Now that I have this clarity of mind, certain things don't match up.
So I was a fool anyway.
I listened to the recording, and I still can't believe what was said there.
Anyway, I called off the wedding.
I am a very easy going guy, there are no fights with me because I am not seeking them. There are no conflicts, enemies, because my life is guided on principle and common sense. That might have given my ex the impression I will be easy to walk over, like a door mat, but she is an idiot for thinking that. Having listened to the recording a few times, I am confident the therapist recognized I am not how my fiance must have described me in their sessions.
hence the "this may be harder than we thought."
Now that the wedding is no longer happening, people are starting to ask questions I am not comfortable answering.
How do I navigate this sea?
I am sure my ex is doing damage control, but I have the recording, and if she goes too far off the path, I will not shy letting people know what she wanted us to talk about.
But my parents and family also want answers, and I am not sure what BS to tell them. I don't want them to think I am an idiot for allowing my ex to get to this point where she was so confident that she straight out told me she wants to fuck other dudes.
She is also blowing my phone, my best friend's phone, my brother's phone.
"We can work on this", "I didn't understand what they were telling me in the therapy session", "she will do anything to fix this", "it was the therapist's idea, she was against it", etc.
Last cry of a dying siren. All her cries fall on deaf ears, and I am the owner of said ears.
We were also working to get a loan to buy a house, but I cancelled everything.
I basically erased any ties we had financially, or otherwise.
Her current plea is that in therapy she exposed her insecurities about our sexual history. I had considerably more partners than her, and the therapist came up with the idea we should "level the field".
Regardless of the truth of this, that therapist gets reported once I figure out where to do it, and what to say.
This post is mostly a rant, but I would also want to know how would you handle the questions of friends and family. My Ex is certainly doing her own damage control, and I don't want to be a he said / she said. I do have the recording, and am wondering if I should send it to the interested parties.
My ex doesn't know I have the recording.
[–]fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-Jr. Hamster Analyst 188 points189 points190 points (4 children) | Copy Link
Typical female. Wants the benefit of slurping other cum, but how dare the patriarchy have the same benefit.
Admittedly, that post does feel like a carefully crafted piece of fiction, with all parts of a cuckold relationship perfectly in place.
Still, the shit does happen.
[–]MisterRegio 63 points64 points65 points (0 children) | Copy Link
To be fair, I don't really want the benefit of slurping other cum. 😋
On a more serious note... fuck her.
[–]lorum_ipsum_dolorJr. Hamster Analyst 36 points37 points38 points (0 children) | Copy Link
My thoughts exactly.
[–]loneliness-incLvL 99 Rogue NiceGuy™ 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Every story online can be fiction. Certain stories are more believable than others because they more closely resemble reality. For all we know, this story is made up, but this stuff happens often enough. That's why it's believable.
[–]binkerfluid 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
In my mind something like this means they already cheated and want to justify it somehow. Maybe she has some kind of relationship with someone else and is too selfish to give you up as well.
[–][deleted] 90 points91 points92 points (24 children) | Copy Link
I do find it hard to believe that a licensed therapist would go along with a clearly 1-sided arrangement. That would surely put their career in jeopardy. Also, the fact that he is in law, but didn't know how to report her to state licensing board?! That seems far out of character.
I just have to make too many assumptions on this post to really come to an emotionally charged response to its nature, but I will say that these types of things, full-mental cuckery, are being promoted, so it isn't entirely outside the realm of possibilities either.
On the note of one-sided cuckolding, that is basically every THOTs dream, to marry her beta provider where he is on the hook her survival and luxuries, but does not benefit in the relationship as having these liabilities. Women today are jerking each other off and biting at the block to run their holes through miles of cock, settle down with someone who doesn't have any other options but them, and then continue their cock careers well into their old age.
[–][deleted] 35 points36 points37 points (4 children) | Copy Link
I don't think this therapist is doing anything unethical here. He's simply helping his client tell her fiancé something she wants.
The therapist is doing his client a disservice in only one respect. He didn't encourage her to do this herself. Therapists are supposed to help their clients become self sufficient, mentally healthy, emotionally stable, independent functioning adults. Having your therapist tell your fiancé you want to fuck other guys during your marriage, her not having the intestinal fortitude to be honest with him herself about something central to the marriage, indicates an alarming lack of maturity. That ALONE would cause me to nope out.
This therapist isn't helping his client grow the fuck up and woman up and say "this is what i want and need from you/from my life/from my marriage". And that's where he's falling down.
Any therapist worth his salt would tell her that she needs to do this herself. Instead, he's put himself in the position of mediator/babysitter/attack Chihuahua. The therapist was there because she (the ex fiancée) thought her to-be husband was going to flip the fuck out and go postal on her. Too fucking bad.
If you want something that much, you tell the other person, and the chips fall where they may. But you at least have the guts to own your shit and tell the other person yourself.
[–]BionicTransWomyn 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
A good therapist would have helped her weigh the consequences of her desire though. She would have brought up how her fiance would potentially react to such a revelation. She also would not be seeding ideas in her client's mind, and it seems she was doing more than "helping her realize what she wanted" with trying to convince the husband as well.
I agree that the goal should have been to tell him herself however. Setting up a scenario where they both try to gang up on the guy seems both appallingly unprofessional and is probably in violation of various ethical rules of the profession.
Thankfully, they did that whole thing before the wedding and OP had the spinal fortitude to nope the fuck out of there.
The therapist was female in the story btw.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Good observations. I agree with you now, that the therapist attempted to help her client with a problem she brought up, and only failed by attempting to do what she asked rather than what she knows would have been good for her mentally. It might not have been unethical, but I think it would have still been a career ender if it had gotten out that she was being paid to be referee than a mental health specialist.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
That therapist should have said "I cannot do this for you, you have to do it for yourself. If this is what you want, fine, but you have to do this on your own.
"This is how healthy people have relationships - they assert their wants and needs; and they own the consequences of their statements and actions. If you want to be healthy and strong, you have to do it yourself and own whatever happens."
[–]loneliness-incLvL 99 Rogue NiceGuy™ 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes and no. Therapists do a lot of hand holding. That's how they make their money. By spending countless hours with you (at $100-150 for 50 minutes), trying to "help you understand" 100 angles of what someone may have meant when they told you XYZ or ABC.
If you wish to get married - a girl who needs constant therapy or someone who needs therapy to deal with regular life - should be an automatic red flag.
[–]Delita_Wasnt_WrongBrags about sex with 2/10 Landwhales 14 points15 points16 points (7 children) | Copy Link
Be aware that not all lawyers know all avenues of law. Most specialize in a few areas in their practices. For example my divorce lawyer didn’t have tax law knowledge on how mine would affect me but was able to find that info from another in the practice. The same as I wouldn’t expect a tax lawyer to understand family law. I think it’s completely on the level.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (6 children) | Copy Link
Ok, but we aren't talking about the a specialized law practice here. This isn't a question of legality. He doesn't understand that the state has a license board for all professional licenses. He had to get a license himself to practice law for the state in which nearly all lawyers get. It is something he should have understood.
It's like saying an english teacher doesn't know that a principle should be informed of misconduct from a gym teacher because they only teach english.... how ridiculous.
[–]KnitBrewTimeTravel 8 points9 points10 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Well, any teacher should report gross misconduct to the police, as well as the principal on principle ; )
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Ok. "gross misconduct" isn't what I said though. That sounds criminal.
But, the principle must also be notified, regardless of principle... unless you were just looking to use that phrase, then I understand lulz
[–]revenueseven 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Whoosh
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol, yeah, I misspelled that again.
[–]Delita_Wasnt_WrongBrags about sex with 2/10 Landwhales 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
I don’t think you quite understand. Certainly he understands you report a lawyer’s misconduct to the bar, but do you expect every lawyer to know who to report therapist misconduct to? Lawyers do not have infinite knowledge of every legal situation.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
No. You report lawyers misconduct to the state licensing board like all other licensees' misconduct. There may also be a BAR review, just as their may also be a therepist entity managing their own members as well.
No, I expect anyone who has received a license from the state to know that the state handles affairs that the licensee does.
I understand that, but as I already stated, this is not a legal situation that requires specialized law practices. It should be common knowledge of anyone who has requested a license from the state, because they are made aware that the state can terminate their license if they do something that unethical or illegal in the terms of the franchisee they are apart of.
[–]ContradictFate 7 points8 points9 points (5 children) | Copy Link
We have to remember one important thing that "therapist" is not a protected term like "psychologist" or "psychiatrist". ANYONE can be a therapist and someone could even be a dog whisper therapist or something equally ridiculous without any genuine accreditation. This bitch that I dated for several years, her mom (and her by relation) were into all of this snake oil therapeutics bullshit. Hot stones, cupping, tarot card, etc. It worked so well for them, it put a roof over their heads and food on the table. She gets her "certification" after releasing a hefty sum of money for some shit course.
This is what we have to remember. He didn't say psychologist or support worker or counsellor. He said therapist and everytime I hear that word exclusively being used, my bullshit detector goes wild.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
He said she was licensed. There are strict minimal requirements that must be met to receive a license from the state, any license. This is because the state grants that person the ability to something that would have otherwise been illegal, or as the state would like you to believe, "to make sure people are protected" lol.
[–]ContradictFate 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
First, let's remember that she is a bullshit peddler by profession, that could have been a lie.
Second, we all admit that the story does seem like a perfect piece of fiction. Why any succubus would hazard the opportunity of getting a pay out in 2 weeks by being oh so honest right before the wedding sounds like Disney movie horseshit for our OP protagonist.
Well, it's not as if any bodily harm would come from within a therapy session. Licensing is just a cash grab that our shitty governments do. Being "licensed" to sell alcohol is just permission by big brother, it does not discriminate between a 50 yrlear sommelier nor Joe Schmo hooch salesman. It's like paying protection money to the mob so you can continue operating. Being insured is a whole different story.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree, they are scam artists. Especially the religious ones.
Ohh yeah, this is a good point. She would be at least smart enough to know you are supposed to wait until after the ring is on the finger, that is like her only job here, wait until she can extract the most resources possible.
That doesn't matter. All licenses from the state are granted to the beholder under franchisee agreements to do something that would otherwise be illegal for a private citizen. My point there was sticky because I don't think this is a proper forum to detail how all of this works underneath, but I just wanted to make the distinction because the State claims to protect people, but readily destroys families through the private law courts, children through the centralized education systems, women through their propaganda machine (another topic for another day i suppose) and men through the enslavement of their minds and abilities by proxy of women whom they entice with wealth redistribution and false security blankets.
Yes, lol, that is another scam.... just pulling pork through the grinder is all.
[–]circlingldn 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
a psychologist is minimum of 4 years after the degree, therapists can do a 1 year post degree from a non relavent course
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
They need a masters from an accredited college or university. I didn't say they were sufficient, but it is much higher than anything else non licensed.
[–]loneliness-incLvL 99 Rogue NiceGuy™ 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Clearly, you've never been to a therapist 😀
Maybe he's in a different type of law? I missed that part about him being in law.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Well, he works in a law office, I guess I just assumed paralegal or someone that knew about state licenses. It might have been one of the more wild assumptions I've made, but I'm crazy like that sometimes. :0
I laughed pretty good at this. I was asked to go one time, but I declined on the basis that I know what fucking talking about. I know, I know, how arrogant assholish of me, but not only am I crazy sometimes, but I'm also a pompous nazi when it comes to my own mind. So, I'm like the perfect fresh meat seasoning before they become tenderized.
[–]loneliness-incLvL 99 Rogue NiceGuy™ 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol!
[–]Cpt-Blackadder 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Therapists are people too.
[–]UshankaDalekRuns Hoeception Services 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[citation needed]
[–][deleted] 85 points86 points87 points (11 children) | Copy Link
A few comments.
1) It says a lot about this man's ex fiancée's lack of maturity and childlike conduct that she has to have her therapist tell him this.
If she wants an open marriage, she could at least have the guts to tell him herself. This is the kind of thing married couples should discuss between themselves - what kinds of sex they like, sex they will have, sex they will not have, and what their expectations are as to activities and frequency.
If she needs a therapist to tell her soon to be spouse something like this, she's not mature enough to get married.
2) This is going to get much more common in the future - women saying before or even after the fact, that they want open marriages or that they want to open up an existing marriage.
3) she wanted it one-way open - "I get to fuck other guys but you don't get to fuck other girls". Bullshit.
4) Even if it's two way open, the women get lots more action just because of how sexual attraction works.
5) The only workable response to this is "no" and then you end the engagement/marriage. There is no other option.
Even if she says "OK, i'll respect your wishes and we won't open it up," the point is that SHE WANTED TO open it up and PROBABLY ALREADY HAS. Meaning she is not satisfied with you sexually.
That's what "i want an open relationship" means. It means "husband/fiance, you just don't do it for me sexually. I'm not sexually attracted enough to you for you to be the only guy i fuck. I need more, and you can't give it to me/i don't want that from you."
It also means "you are Beta Bux. You are the guy who pays the bills and takes care of me and the kids and our house, and loves me. What's missing is the sex. You just can't do that for me. So i'll find an Alpha studhorse to fuck me every so often, just when i want/need it. Oh, you can still fuck me. You can still masturbate into my vagina and i'll lie there while you do and i won't resist. But you won't get the fun or exciting sex. Alpha Studhorse will. You won't get the slurping gagging BJs, the facefucking, the grinding ride, the jackhammering. Alpha Studhorse will. Because you just don't do it for me. Sorry."
6) Every time, and i mean EVERY time a woman wants to open up a relationship/marriage, at the very least, she has the guy picked out she wants to open it up with. She probably is already fucking the guy and just wants her husband/fiancée to bless it.
[–]ClockworkOrange92618WAATGM Endorsed 43 points44 points45 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. The fact that she's bringing it up at all means that she has sampled Chad's cock, and decided that it needs to be a regular part of her diet (as opposed to a once-in-a-while treat like donuts)
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah. At the very least, she's picked out her Chad.
[–]Sigma1042 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
or it's the therapist!
[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst 17 points18 points19 points (4 children) | Copy Link
This is not the only big issue. As a men unless he is really earning big money how is he suppose to keep up with taking care of her and other whores he has on the side? Not only that but todays women will want to get ALL of his money and it is unlikely that they will be interested in having part of his money and attention. This is not how this shit works at all. On her side everything is ok though she wants dick and men are willing to give her dick while paying her bills just like the good whore she is. :)
[–]fmanlySr. Hamster Analyst 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Well, that's the thing. Unless he is super-Chad there is zero reason other women are going to be interested in him anyway once he is married.
Women want men for two things: tingles, and money.
Very few men get by on the tingles alone. If you're one of those guys more power to you, but I don't get why you'd get married in the first place.
So, that leaves money. Married men don't have money - at least not money that anybody other than their wife has access to. If a woman knows you're taken, they're going to have zero interest in you.
So, open marriage is already one-sided effectively before you even get into nonsense like this.
[–]nochilifordinner 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude all of my married friends who want sex outside the marriage have no problem getting it. A wedding ring is a strange aphrodisiac for a lot of women.
[–]nochilifordinner 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Unless youre an ugly beta the man can get as much sex or more as the woman in a open relationship.
[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah except men have to pay money for sex in one way or another plus the fact that women find 20% of the male population attractive so this "ugly beta" thing is what 80% of the population? Well thank god it is only 80% of men they don't like it could have been worse /s
[–]houseoftolstoyUnchivalrous Christian 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Funny thing about this story and your 4th point, she took what was already a crappy deal for him and made the deal even worse by not even giving him the same opportunity to seek other women. Her supposed jealousy would have been allayed if she thought critically about how much more difficult guys have it at getting casual sex. She would probably be finding a new guy every other day while he would have nothing but an empty spot on the bed if the guy would be foolish enough to agree to an open relationship before marriage, even a "reciprocal" one. But the apex fallacy and her own self absorption probably prevented her from thinking about things from the man's perspective. Typical, women tell men how we cannot understand things from their perspective but never even try to do the same thing for men.
[–]nochilifordinner 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Behold, the holder of all truth.
[–][deleted] [score hidden] stickied comment (12 children) | Copy Link
/u/Reptilesblade Writes In his comment below:
https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/96yuuf/man_dumps_his_fiance_my_fiance_wanted_an_open/e45q2ub/
Good for this guy!
All of my partners have known that I am a strict monogamist from the beginning of our relationships. And I don't hide my past experiences either if it comes up.
My first girlfriend cheated on me and then tried to open our relationship so she didn't feel guilty about it. I told her no. A few days later I go over to her house to spend time with her like always only to see some other guy I have never met there. She then proceeds to lead me outside and ends our relationship with barely an explanation.
Then my ex wife, the love of my life who was supposed to be my dedicated life partner, tried to open our marriage up several times knowing I would say no. After a while she just decided to cheat on me and then threw away our marriage when I caught her to get back together with her old high school boyfriend.
Then there was my last girlfriend. Oh, that one was the best of all! She forced the poly on me and I had to go along with it because it was the only way to keep a roof over my head because of how badly my ex wife fucked me over in the divorce. I'm just going to copy and paste something I wrote about my experience with poly with her while we were still together.
Poly is nothing more than an excuse to cheat and not feel guilty about it.
So yeah. Now if I am with someone and they even so much as joke about opening up our relationship my response is a curt "Fuck you, we're done." Why bother devoting myself to someone who isn't going to give me the same.
[–]wellimoutSr. Hamster Analyst 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
That poor SOB must have a sign on his back. At least he's not laying down for it.
[–]loneliness-incLvL 99 Rogue NiceGuy™ 9 points10 points11 points (3 children) | Copy Link
The final question is - will he still look for yet another woman to love and marry?
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn't, but everyone has a drive for something. We all have carrots in front of us, just a matter of perspective if your carrot is worth running for.
Something tells me he isn't going to find a woman to marry in this day and age...
[–]loneliness-incLvL 99 Rogue NiceGuy™ 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes of course. That's why I put it as an open question without any suggestion either way. I don't need to tell him what to do. He's capable of thinking for himself.
Yea.... Chances are very slim. As female entitlement gets more and more crazy with their ever increasing demands on men, finding a good woman will become increasingly more difficult.
Only in some religious communities is there still some semblance of community cohesion, standards and good old shaming to keep people within the realm of sanity.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Actually, this is a very good point. Quite a few amish communities will accept outsiders as long as they are in full dedication mode to their cause. There a Good Man will find exactly what he is looking for. A chaste woman, who won't cheat and raise his children by supporting him and the direction he wants to take the family. Only drawback is he will have to forget everything he knows. I've considered this option myself at some point in the future.
[–]nochilifordinner 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
You are doing something wrong if every single woman wants an open relationship while being with you, have you figured it out?
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Some guys don't have what it takes to make womens' tingles stay up. It's more psychological than anything else. If a guy is attractive enough to get with women, but can not sustain their endless shit testing, then she will take that as a sign of weakness, when in reality, he has just given up on dealing with her shit. She still needs him because he brings in the $$$$, and is decent looking, so she isn't embarrassed to go out with him, but he doesn't handle her emotional outbursts with dominance. If he gives in to her, in order to relax for once, or attempts to diffuse the situation by doing what she wants, then she puts him in the beta box real quick, and looks else where for a guy that will just give her good dicking.
[–]revenueseven 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
That’s fucking terrible. I’m sorry you went through that.
I’ve never understood polyamory, and I’m generally a pretty open-minded kind of person. If you want to sleep around....why be in a relationship at all?
It just doesn’t make sense to me.
[–]ReptilesbladeHoneymoon Cuck Assassin 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for saying so.
And I agree. You're not in a committed relationship if one or both of you have a side piece.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
/u/reptilesblade might have a comment for you on this.
[–]Daniel0739 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus... you might just be even more pathetic than me.
[–]WebbyUrchin -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Hehe, cuck
[–][deleted] 47 points48 points49 points (4 children) | Copy Link
have that recording go viral, ruin the therapists career
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Would there be any legal consequences if he published the audio? If that were me I'd really want to post it to youtube.
[–]SirKolbathYeah, yeah. “Mods are incels.” 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Depends on the state. If it's a two party consent state, he's fucked. If it's a single party consent state, she's fucked.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
OP states that he is well within his rights regarding the recording. So I'm assuming single party consent state.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
probably, it'd be cool if he could figure out how to edit it so it's not apparent that it's him
[–]ClockworkOrange92618WAATGM Endorsed 43 points44 points45 points (5 children) | Copy Link
Oh you poor naive man...
OP was right in being weirded out; this is not something that friendly people say.
"There are two types of men in this world, AlphaFux, and Betabux. You are the latter"
She 100% has cheated on you several times by now.
LOL you can file an ethics complaint (warranted btw) but if you're expecting anything significant to happen, prepare to be disappointed.
Fuck that; anyone who really wants to know should meet you in person, so you can play the recording to them and it will be crystal clear why you ditched her. OP would be wise to make multiple copies of the recording as well.
[–]TANQsprayJr. Hamster Analyst 14 points15 points16 points (4 children) | Copy Link
I think you’re a bit harsh on him. He’s apparently slept with way more people than her, I don’t think he’s a Beta at all. He also has a very good job.
Also as soon as he heard what she said he called it all off.
He’s a rational guy working a good job and doesn’t realise his fiancé is very insecure and immature because he’s probably surrounded by people who aren’t like that.
She’s a complete moron who wants a high end guy but also wants him to be a simp. He wasn’t.
[–]ClockworkOrange92618WAATGM Endorsed 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
If she thought she could pull this crap on the guy, he must not have been that much of an alpha. Can you imagine her trying this on someone like John Cena?
Luckily he was smart enough to see the writing on the wall..
[–]TANQsprayJr. Hamster Analyst 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Women are very manipulative. She would have played it out many times and thought she could with most men. I’m guessing he hides how Alpha he actually is a bit because she wouldn’t have guessed he would cancel the wedding on the spot.
[–]the_unseen_oneSr. Hamster Analyst 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Alpha and beta don't mean "tough and weak", that's just incorrect usage by dudes who define their worth by whether these overgrown children lust after them or not.
[–]ClockworkOrange92618WAATGM Endorsed 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not implying that Cena is alpha because he's physically strong, but rather that he takes shit from nobody. As an example, he forced his GF to sign a cohabitation agreement before he allowed her to live with him
[–]frikabgJr. Hamster Analyst 34 points35 points36 points (8 children) | Copy Link
I don't get one thing. So his ex wanted to be a whore! Ok then why bother marrying at all in that case? Ohhh i know why! So she can take his shit earned through out his labor while she was fucking guys and gets fed up with him! Ohhh well too bad for her that she found someone who is standing his ground and has a drop of self respect.
[–]PhilhelmSmashing the patriarchy one single mother at a time 15 points16 points17 points (4 children) | Copy Link
The real question is why she would be open about her intentions.
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points (3 children) | Copy Link
maybe the therapist was secretly cool as hell and tricked the girl into admitting she wanted to cheat to the husband, before the marriage
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe she calculated the odds of keeping her as a client if she didn't go along with the plan vs. going along with it and hoping the husband stays on board.
It was probably a purely business decision. If she says "no, work your own shit", she looses the money. If she says, "ok, we'll do it my way", then she can control the narrative better and stand a chance to keep the woman in her sessions after A) she is depressed because she looses her provider, or B) to keep her in her sessions after she feels like an used up in-flight puke bag.
[–]SadDoggo45 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
From what he has said, his ex painted a different picture of him and the therapist maybe thought that he would agree.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I thought that meant the therapist assumed he was ugly or looked like a numale so that he would agree to being cucked cuz he didn't have any options. this guy had a fiancé and dumped her without a second thought so I am guessing he looks good. usually a numale would be like ok dear go ahead and cheat. I bet he looks like chadlite, just not a full chad or the fiancé wouldn't have wanted to cheat. there's always a chaddier chad. I don't really think the therapist was secretly cool, just kiddin there.
[–]fmanlySr. Hamster Analyst 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Girls gotta eat, and the cute guys who have women lined up sure aren't going to be spending money on her.
Most likely the OP was good enough to settle for - this way she gets a roof over her head and doesn't have to worry about resorting to sleeping with an ugly guy just to have a place to stay. But, clearly he isn't everything she is looking for...
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
This guy had more partners than her and more 20 ons. Doesn't look like low smv to me.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
that may or may not have been true, it's what that OP thought but she likely lied about how many she had, anyway he is not so high status that she wanted to stay loyal
[–]TheRabid 24 points25 points26 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Curious. Why did she think that he would have gone for this? Why would she want to risk it? Seems foolish.
[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
She probably thought that he loved her so much that he would do this for her. She looked at it solipsistically, thinking "well, this is what I want. He must want this too!"
[–]MrPoopyButtwholes 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
"muh feminism"
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
She likely had such a tiny grasp on reality, from a lifetime of getting whatever she wanted, that it didnt even cross her mind that having an """open relationship""" is anything dangerous to ask of him.
[–]Seca2Bro 23 points24 points25 points (2 children) | Copy Link
A good therapist would have asked "why the fuck are you getting married when you want to sleep with half the city?"
I believe this post to be real. Women do actually think of this hit garbage. Five minutes reading /r/cuckold and I'm ready to start drinking.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Shit man I just did the same. Feel like I need to go take a walk and clear my head.
[–]ACloakOfLetters 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't, as much as I'd want it to be. Guy's throwaway account name is "RobotUprisingLeader"... seriously? This didn't tip anyone off?
[–]-El_Charles_Vane- 22 points23 points24 points (1 child) | Copy Link
well form what it sounds like the guy may not be chad but he may be redpill aware. And had the idea to know whats up.
protecting one self smart thing to do in-case a freak out shrinks have some power in the eyes of law
I am guesing the guy at least takes care of him self and doesn't look like a push over acording to that statement
Knew when to keep his mouth shut and they would dig them selves deeper in a hole and keep spining the hamster.
Drop the nuke and burn all contact but keeping it cool. not a lot of guys would be able to do that.
yes sounds like it. AWALT you were hoeping for a something different but relied it and pull the cord instead of going out like wile coyote
Now the only thing I would recomind is burn every thing and let all his family and her family know. then send a Christmas card to her mother for the next few years so she will always here about the nice man she ruined her chance with.
[–]darcvox 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha, love the post card touch.
[–]ReptilesbladeHoneymoon Cuck Assassin 19 points20 points21 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Good for this guy!
All of my partners have known that I am a strict monogamist from the beginning of our relationships. And I don't hide my past experiences either if it comes up.
My first girlfriend cheated on me and then tried to open our relationship so she didn't feel guilty about it. I told her no. A few days later I go over to her house to spend time with her like always only to see some other guy I have never met there. She then proceeds to lead me outside and ends our relationship with barely an explanation.
Then my ex wife, the love of my life who was supposed to be my dedicated life partner, tried to open our marriage up several times knowing I would say no. After a while she just decided to cheat on me and then threw away our marriage when I caught her to get back together with her old high school boyfriend.
Then there was my last girlfriend. Oh, that one was the best of all! She forced the poly on me and I had to go along with it because it was the only way to keep a roof over my head because of how badly my ex wife fucked me over in the divorce. I'm just going to copy and paste something I wrote about my experience with poly with her while we were still together.
Poly is nothing more than an excuse to cheat and not feel guilty about it.
So yeah. Now if I am with someone and they even so much as joke about opening up our relationship my response is a curt "Fuck you, we're done." Any prospective partner I am with will know as early as possible that even joking or making light about possibly opening up our relationship will be immediate grounds for ending said relationship. There will be no wavering from this draconian absolute zero tolerance policy regarding this issue. Why bother devoting myself to someone who isn't going to give me the same.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Good for you. Got a little teary eyed in the middle, but ended on a good note. I went ahead and took the liberty of stickying your comment to the top, because I felt it not only adds value to the particular discussion as how poly relationships are a sham, but also is a worthy response to what happens when women decide they no longer wish to fulfill their men's needs.
[–]ReptilesbladeHoneymoon Cuck Assassin 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow! Thanks! I feel honored, truly.
[–]ReptilesbladeHoneymoon Cuck Assassin 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I will share it every time I encounter a thread about poly/open relationships here if you want.
[–]ContradictFate 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Wants all the protection of cash and prizes that our, fucked belong belief, government still doles out disproportionately, from men to women, in the event of a divorce but wants the freedom to have her vagina as an all inclusive hotel destination.
Fucking pisses me off when people accept this "current year" bullshit as allowing people to be assholes. "It's 2018, so we can start being shitty as all the people from the era of people being noble and decent are either dead or will be within a few decades." This new world of destroying what made things work is repulsive.
[–]loneliness-incLvL 99 Rogue NiceGuy™ 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Handled like a fucking boss!
Now some icing on the cake.
And from op in the comments.
I'd love to have some scotch with this dude.
[–]AllahHatesFags 10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy Link
This is just another example of the many repeated attempts by horrible women to normalize cuckoldry in our society. Women used to be ashamed of their cheating and attempted to hide it, but now they are literally expecting their husbands to be okay with them fucking other guys.
This guy dodged a huge fucking bullet here because the now ex-fiancee either got too greedy or underestimated him. Imagine if this meeting with the therapist had taken place AFTER they had married, bought a house together, and had kids; he would have been fucked. She unknowingly did him a huge favor by asking for one-sided cuckoldry up-front before the wedding outing herself as a cheating whore and giving the guy had a chance to nope the fuck out of there (which he fortunately took).
The therapist is a real piece of shit for pushing this even if she didn't come up with the idea. The whole thing kind of reeks of an intervention where instead of asking somebody to give up drugs they ask for cuckoldry. She is probably some feminazi cunt who had no problem attempting to use her credentials (if she has any) and "authority" to attempt to bully this guy into being a cuck. The language she uses is very telling:
She is implying here that if a man doesn't want to be a cuck and let his wife fuck other men he is somehow backward or primitive. I really hope the guy manages to destroy this nasty cunt's career.
[–]Original_DanksterSr. Hamster Analyst 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Not necessarily. The therapist may have realized that the bride was gonna cheat eventually, and prompted the bride to reveal her hand before the marriage, saving the dude from the potential trainwreck in the future.
[–]AllahHatesFags 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
It's possible, but the way she said it makes me doubt that is the case.
[–]agree-with-you 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree, this does seem possible.
[–]ummyourdaddy 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
see, now this is a MAN. be like this guy.
[–]Mr-Ed209 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Post the recording here so we can tell if you're chatting shit or not.
[–]PerfectNemesis 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
What? He's not into cuckolding? What a closed minded bigot!
[–]houseoftolstoyUnchivalrous Christian 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Also, look how insecure he is! A real man who is comfortable in his masculinity is just fine having his wife be the town bicycle.
[–]NaturalisticPhallacy 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Clearly a misogynist.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
She was probably already banging other guys. Women don't just cheat to satisfy a physical urge, they cheat body and heart.
[–]4gotOldU-nameArgues with Mods 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm beginning to doubt that this is even real.
Therapist's statement "This is going to be harder than we thought" is very weird. Unless the therapist was "grooming her", and the dude mistakenly assumed it was guys and not girls she was referring to.
She blamed the therapist for the whole thing. Again, very odd.
[–]Notamayata 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Tell people that you found out about her sex change operation.
[–]void_magic 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
He's lucky she told him before the wedding. What the hell can you do if she waited a couple years after you had kids?
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't "level" the fucking field, this crazy bitch was going to be a nightmare. Fuck that fucking cunt
[–]KingRobotPrinceSluts Forbidden Fruit 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
She wanted to talk when she had the therapist on her side backing her up, thinking if he heard it from a "therapist" then he would just go along with it.
Can't believe someone would have the gall to even think this. Even if he's had more partners than her, by the time they're getting married, that part of their life is done.
Certainly in her mind, and probably had a few guys queued up for it.
This is true, and it's quite interesting when people realise that they can't get what they want anymore, because you weren't being weak, you were simply being polite.
Super common for women to describe their men as garbage to manipulate others to take their side.
By slamming her husband in therapy, she managed to convince the therapist it would work, now she's backpeddling and lying to try and get out of it.
Maybe he just needs to say something like "she wanted a one-way open marriage, and I didn't want that"?
This is basically feminism ruining marriages as usual. This is their plan.
There's actually a chance that the therapist totally convinced the woman that this was a good idea, and was justified due to him having more partners and "feminism" saying that women have to do everything the same as men. And women are easily led by other women. But, at the end of the day, it was her that ok'd it, her that sat and held his hand while the therapist effectively destroyed their marriage, and her that had several men lined up to fuck, straight after they had sworn to be true to each other until the day they die.
Fuck this "therapist" and fuck the stupid, stupid woman that let her destroy their marriage before it even started.
No doubt we'll see his ex-fiancé on this sub in the near future.
[–]Tenth_10 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
OP, be totally honest with your family. They will be a part of this weither you like or not; So be honest with them, play them the recording so there's no doubt possible, and delete that ex from your life.
You dodged a bullet big time. Good luck from now on.
[–]kody_420 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
The sad thing is that these thots think this type of arrangement is normal.
[–]vhiran 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
dodged a bullet
[–]houseoftolstoyUnchivalrous Christian 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Audacity is becoming my new favorite word, as I will show you an example of its use in a sentence: The audacity of this guy's fiancee, thinking that she is going to make her husband be on board with him being a cuckold in marriage, before even saying "I do!" Thankfully this guy shut everything down, since there would be no respect going into the marriage. Does this woman know what a marriage is supposed to mean? But I guess it's the current year, so open marriages are what the young hip people do. At least according to his fiancee and the equally audacious therapist.
The idea was to "level the playing field" because he had more partners than her in the past? If she had an issue with that, maybe she should have broken up with him, instead of looking for a license to be a whore while married. How much would anyone want to bet this same therapist would be upset if the roles were reversed, and he wanted to "level the playing field." Also, after her "exploration" with other guys, she probably not even give him sex after she is "too tired" after giving other guys the benefits he should be getting.
And if by her words "it was the therapist's idea" and she was against it, why the hell did she keep this therapist at all? Have some accountability for once in your life!
But maybe this is all just a work of fiction, but damn if it didn't strike some nerves. Either way, no man should sign on for his partner to essentially friendzone him in his own marriage.
[–]The_Brain_Fuckler 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
I dumped my fiancee after she wanted to have an open relationship. She just decided she wanted to be poly-amorous and expected me to go with it. Fuck that noise.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I wish I could kiss you right now.... no homo
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, if I were him I'd go full out scorched earth. I would tell everyone who asked and let them listen to the recording. I'd tell my parents and hers. No sense in protecting someone who has no dignity to save in the first place.
[–]DTreatz 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
"The day comes, and I go there. But out of self preservation, I had my phone opened and recording any audio."
Fucking bravo!
" But she loves me a lot, and would not be comfortable with me having the same "benefits"."
O but of course, because as a woman she KNOWS she can get the D at any time, especially in this day and age it's only a click/swipe and a Uber away. She either thinks your too unattractive or too stupid to realize you won't have the same ease of access lmao.
" So the therapist starts talking. Has a small speech I don't care to repeat. My fiance takes my hand as the therapist starts telling me that "we live in a modern world, and that my fiance wants us to have a non-conventional marriage moving forward.""
Translation: It's 2018, I should be able to openly employ my dual-mating strategy and you should accept it beta bux.
[–]HappyFeet2018 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
She should marry her therapist.
[–]EconomistMagazine 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Remember: a therapist isn't there to fix the problem. They're there to help communication.
The individual patients have to fix the problem themselves. If they are clear on the goals and motivations of their partner and they STILL don't see eye to eye then there therapist can do nothing.
[–]OnicoBoy94 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
My favorite thread of this decade.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Wanna know if that women is good for you. Have a talk with her about open marriage. And, you will know.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Interesting. So plant the idea in her head that you were thinking of her having sex with other men. Then she travels down that thought-string and eventually comes to the conclusion, "Well, I know! I'll do it for him! And he'll love me even more".
Heh, I think I would rather blow my face half off with a missed shotgun blast to the head and suck food out of a straw for the rest of my life then get waste time in relationshits wondering if my SO is just going to throw it all away over a va ja ja tingle.
[–]Pasc4l 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
The outcome of this was the therapist was actually manipulating the fiance into this. The fiance never really wanted anything like this
[–]playitagainzak_ -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
I get the guy's anger but I don't understand why he wants to report the therapist and why her license is being questioned. I wouldn't fault the therapist. What exactly did she do wrong?
She was his (ex) fiance's paid therapist, not his. She wasn't violating anyone's trust. First of all I'm sure plenty of therapists' patients share with them in confidence about cheating on their partner or fiance or spouse. And if that happens, they're obligated to keep that between them.
Not that this even necessarily happened here - the way I see it:
Fiance wanted to present this to OP somehow (would have been a failure regardless of how she went about it, but she's too delusional to realize this).
She mentions this to therapist (which is perfectly reasonable, and probably shows she has some self-awareness that it likely isn't gonna go well, but still doesn't realize this is a horrible idea that will destroy her engagement and thus insists on finding a way to 'make it work').
She asks for her help, thinking she can work magic, and she reluctantly agrees, realizing that her mind is made up.
Honoring her client's wishes, she helps her as backup with the 'best possible way' (honestly probably knowing herself it would fail, kind of like a lawyer on a doomed case).
Plus, fiance probably knew of the high chance of failure and wanted her therapist present in case she wasn't mentally prepared for it, which she happily agreed to.
But yeah even without this scenario I don't really see what the therapist did wrong. She was mostly just the messenger and mental support for her client. Horrible people are allowed to have therapists just as they're allowed to have lawyers. She wasn't helping push or manipulate OP into agreeing to it.
Hell I'm sure she probably tried to talk fiance out of it, but actually ended up doing the OP a huge favor.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
See /u/LewisCross comment here: https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/96yuuf/man_dumps_his_fiance_my_fiance_wanted_an_open/e44asir/?context=10
Se /u/LewisCross comment here: https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/96yuuf/man_dumps_his_fiance_my_fiance_wanted_an_open/e44c2e0/?context=10
Maybe. That would explain some of her reservations when he walked in that it was "going to be tougher than she thought". Sounds like she might have even prepared to say something like that. Or she said that because her fiance made him out to be an unattractive cuckboy.
[–]playitagainzak_ -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
He's basically saying what I said?
I'm a little confused here... cause him to nope out, as who? The OP? The fiance? The therapist? Them acting as a mediator for someone to help convey something that's difficult is not unheard of, regardless of what it is.
I can assure there's a good chance she tried that. There's a good chance going through with "helping convey the message" was a last resort, but it's logical to go through with it if that's the only way she will learn and see for herself.
Never mind that if she did try to talk her out of it and she was stubborn and insisted on moving forward with it, that only further speaks volumes and accentuates how much of a favor she did for OP and for her. Sure, not everyone would have done that.
Well if he owns a gun or if the possibility of him somehow getting violent was a concern of hers then nothing wrong with looking out for your safety.
But the way I see it, I don't think she was afraid of him 'going postal' at all (not that the therapist would stop him, she's not like a trained bodyguard) - but rather expecting to get the hard no she got and having a mental/emotional breakdown herself. That makes more sense.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
LewisCross is speaking as first person, [he wouldn't have gone through with the wedding on the principal of her maturity alone].
Well, this was thoroughly explained as not having agency for oneself. She wants to fuck other dudes, but can't muster up the ability on her self to say what she wants. She is a child, and her therapist enabled her to be one by not helping her explain her feelings to her soon-to-be-husband.
If she did, then he would have already cut the cord, because that was the sole reason for him doing so when he found out.
This isn't the problem though. See above.
Then why are you with this man in the first place? If you think he is going to hurt you when you try to talk to him about something, then the therapist should have made this revelation known to her that he isn't a Good Man anyways. So, nothing wrong when looking out for your safety with strangers, but a marriage/partnership/date/fucking acquaintances does make it extremely concerning that she would even attempt to rectify some vocal opinion at all, instead of just leaving.
[–]playitagainzak_ 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Well first of all I think he would have noped out anyway after that question, with or without the therapist.
Never mind that OP has no way of knowing what went on between them. He had no idea why she was bringing him there in the first place.
That's why like I said I don't think that's the case at all - she wasn't there because of his reaction, she was think because of fiance's expected mental breakdown following it. Which is more reasonable.
But it's not a therapist's job to dictate to their clients who they date.