Having a life outside my relationship?

rosesonthefloor · 2020-12-25T03:28:41+00:00

What do you like to do? What did you use to like to do, but haven’t done in a while? Is there anything (skill, hobby, language, etc.) you’d like to learn?

Answering those questions and starting with those things is a great step!

Also, check in with your friends. How are they doing? Schedule some time to video/phone call with them and have a virtual girls’ night. Or schedule yourself some self-care and pick a night to focus on pampering yourself!

Honestly you will probably have to work on a mindset change long-term, but I find it most helpful to start with concrete little steps like I mentioned above. Good luck!!

titlejunk · 2020-12-25T03:41:06+00:00

I struggle with this one and I’m in my 40s! My main problem though is that he doesn’t like to be without me when he’s not working. My alone activities are mainly taking my dogs places and working out. I also ravenously devour audiobooks, which means that I tend to have new things to talk about on any given day.

purpleprinter_ · 2020-12-25T05:11:01+00:00

I think if you’re aware you have an anxious attachment style, you should seek counseling. Our attachment styles develop from childhood, so simply finding a hobby won’t solve the problem. A therapist or counselor can give you tools to help you change your attachment style. Having a strong, stable partner is also useful, but you need to make sure you’re not becoming codependent on him. The first step is recognizing the problem, which you have already done, you’re off to a great start! :)

Although finding a hobby won’t solve your issue, hobbies are a great way to get to know yourself and develop your self esteem. If you tend to be anxious in general, I recommend trying out cross stitching. It’s so soothing and relaxing. You can get starter kits at Hobby Lobby, Michael’s, and Jo Ann’s! Hobby Lobby has the best selection IMO.

Anxious Attachment Style

peachblossom241 · 2020-12-25T05:56:24+00:00

Hobbies, exercise, pets, part time work, volunteer work, classes to learn new skills or improve existing ones. I’m guilty of this as well and these are the areas I’m aiming to progress on in the new year. 🤞🏻

lavachequirie · 2020-12-25T03:31:39+00:00

Check out the book codependent no more!! It really helped me.

It’s hard during covid right now to be social and have a life in that way, but you can still do lots by yourself! Go for walks alone, or find a new sport or craft or something. That’ll give you some individuality. It might be uncomfortable at first but it’ll be fun eventually

Bunnycm · 2020-12-25T18:46:45+00:00

I was like this, and currently still working on some codependent issues. The first step to my journey is I started educating myself. I learned a lot about codependent issues, attachment theory, and the 5 love languages. That helped me put in some perspectives on why I act the way I am and how other people act. Secondly, I found myself a therapist. She helped me realize certain habits and why I’m so anxious and learned how to control my anxiety better. Thirdly, I found myself a hobby and I went back to school. I find that the more I engage myself on things I enjoy and the more I improve myself, I’m not so anxious about my outside relationship because I’m busy working on myself. Working on yourself will improve your other relationships as well, because you’re not so fixated if you’re doing enough for your s/o. It’ll take some practice though. You may have to reset yourself time after time but don’t give up!

Advanced_Bar_673 · 2020-12-25T17:44:56+00:00

Audiobooks, sewing/ knitting, home workouts, Masterclass or similar, play chess or other games online, painting, learn a new language, etc

2020-12-25T16:53:37+00:00

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Ok-Sock3977 · 2020-12-26T16:05:36+00:00

Join a gym and find a gym partner you can be friends with. If you have 80$ something to keep you busy for a while buy a Brian Hoffner knife and self defense (his specific) dvd and learn how to use it and practice with watching the dvd, it’ll keep you busy. Buy a Rosetta Stone and learn a new language.

Title	Having a life outside my relationship?
Author	Bluebird_Infinite
Upvotes	62
Comments	15
Date	December 25, 2020 3:16 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/kjs427/having_a_life_outside_my_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/having-a-life-outside-my-relationship.350285 https://theredarchive.com/post/350285