This is a cry for help that I’ll explain below. Since the beginning of Purge Week, I find myself struggling to keep my unsolicited opinions to myself.

It started with my main account on other subreddits, and quickly developed into a insatiable urge to DM random commenters. Then, in good Chads’ seeds fashion, it spread to my Facebook account and even Tinder. I am now at a point where I’m completely unable to repress from insulting my relatives.

Although I’ll admit that purge week is the only time of the year I ever feel alive, I can’t help but think that the confidence boost it gave me greatly reduced my ability to have sex since I seem to constantly and unintentionally display my true colors in a very unfiltered way. Everywhere.

Now I have nowhere to go and feel like this was all a scheme designed to purge me out of this world.