Don’t get me wrong I know discipline will always trump emotions and motivation

But the why fuck is it maybe for me only that anger and pain and suffering is t he only thing that will ignite that fire to finally do something about my problems

If I never got bullied, rejected, and ignored I probably would never taken lifting so seriously.

If I was never hurt by anyone’s bullshit if I never got my heart broken I wouldn’t be who I am today.

I’d be a naive lazy beta like most men today eating chips, masturbating, and playing video games all day.. and I wouldn’t even be ashamed because society tells us that’s ok.. I’d even call it my hobbies lmao

I made a thread the other day describing my frustrating relationship with my parents and how I want to get away. Some people understood but a lot of people called me an ungrateful little shit and I’m in the wrong..

Now I’m more motivated than ever to kick ass in school and get the fucking job I want , get the fucking money and I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, most people are not my friends anyways and they will turn on you when they see you snap and become more confident and you start going after what you want

I don’t really want those things internally, I just want to do it because I want to prove them wrong, I just enjoy conflict? Otherwise I feel no real motivation to do any of it I guess my point is why do I have to suffer so much and feel so much pain in order for me to do something about my problems

I get it everyone in life has highs and lows but my lows are so bad so depressing I get suicidal or I get angry I wanna kill people.. and my highs are kinda nonexistent