Summary: A woman in the relationships subreddit was recently told by her husband that he got laid off. He then broke down crying in front of her. Instead of feeling supportive and sympathetic, she felt disgusted and had no desire to comfort him.
Body: https://archive.is/Nh4dt
The relationships subreddit can often be an unintentional source of RP truths. Here's a gem I just discovered.
My husband has been acting very strange the past 4 days. He's been going in and out every morning like he usually does, but his manner had been different. He'd been seeming much less happy, almost as if he had to force himself to smile and at times overcompensate by forcing an exaggerated happiness. Other than that he was becoming quiet and withdrawn, much slower in daily things, and also very distant. His sex drive had disappeared completely and he just seemed tired always.
Yesterday he sat me down and said he had to tell me something very important. I knew something was up so I was listening very carefully. He proceeded to explain to me how he had been made redundant at work and no longer had a job there. He described how it had it him like a stack of bricks out of nowhere and he wasn't expecting it. He said he felt hurt and disappointed in himself incredibly. At this point he started crying, telling me how he feels he has no strength or motivation to carry on, how he feels weak and useless because of all of this. He seemed very weak from the way he was talking.
Notice her use of language. She mentions weakness twice in as many sentences. It's almost as if she finds weakness unattractive...
While crying he put his head on my shoulder and hugged me for support, but I just gave him a half-hug back. I'm not sure why, I know I was meant to say something, I know I was meant to be empathetic, he's my husband. But I couldn't stand the situation, I just wanted to get away. I knew I should be supportive but it didnt' come naturally to me. I just felt so disgusted and put off by the whole thing, especially the way he was crying. I just couldn't find it in me to be supportive at all.
I have no idea what to do. Is it normal for a wife to feel this way? Is it normal that I feel no urge to comfort and show empathy to my husband during this difficult time for him, but instead I just feel grossed out, by myself and by him? I feel bad for even feeling this way.
He completely broke frame and started crying like a little beta bitch. Nothing kills a woman's attraction towards a man like pity. And if the relationship was based on him being able to provide for her, she no longer sees any benefit to being with him.
A little later on OP replied with this comment:
Usually I am empathetic and compassionate when others are distressed. I think this is the first time the other has been my husband and I've been the one to have to comfort him. I've never seen him cry before, ever.
A woman wants her man to be her rock. A source of strength and stability in hard times. Seeing him completely broken and defeated shattered the illusion of strength that her husband had so far managed to cultivate. Looking for sympathy when life is hard is something women do. Men look for solutions.
The hamster wheel has begun to spin. It won't be long before she either leaves him or finds a Chad to cheat with.
Lessions Learned:
- Maintain frame. Project strength and confidence even during times of turmoil.
- Never cry like a little bitch in front of a woman you're sleeping with. If you absolutely must pour your heart out to somebody, pick a trusted male friend or relative who knows how to keep his mouth shut.
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[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1favours_of_the_moon3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]uututhrwa4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]long-lostfriend5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iwillbemuscle12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Narwal_Snausages8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Modern__Day__Pricus3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Disaster5323854 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mon_k3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ProspectiveQuant0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mosin_99914 points15 points16 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]gymgoer2054 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zpatriarchy4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]decadin-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thetotalpackage73 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]king_of_red_alphas0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProspectiveQuant0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Riddick_2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]1scissor_me_timbers000 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Factushima2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Factushima2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]tio1w1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MarinTaranu2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rpthrowawayaway2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]1sardinemanR1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tio1w1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tenientj2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lashlarue123 3 points3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Killigraphy0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WilliamGrand2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1Jaereth5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG9 points10 points11 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]arrayay5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kaelteth3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WilsonSelf 4 points4 points4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]whisky11111 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mitchell788 points9 points10 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Frdl15 points16 points17 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iamirishpat1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]juliusstreicher1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]iamirishpat0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GurneyHalleck851 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]ShanksNes1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yummyluckycharms1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]hadhad691 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]frys1801 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]JestersHat4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]whisky11111 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]whisky11111 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1RPAlternate420 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed Contributor303030303030300 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]slurmfactory0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alx7410 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tom_salchichom0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]1doubleecho880 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]R3v4mp3d0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ihaverisen1220 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zigg-_-zagg0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProspectiveQuant0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ali_s19870 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlackHeart890 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]red_gerb0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Upvote_To_The_Left0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SomeClassyDude0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jaimewarlock0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorTheRedPilsner[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jasonmiles20140 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]K4RAB_THA_ARAB0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]StarDestinyGuy-8 points-7 points-6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRP VanguardCyralea19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RPJapan4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]hadhad69-9 points-8 points-7 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zeparic3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]hadhad69-5 points-4 points-3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]InAStateTRP2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]hadhad694 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link