Eventually you will have to "next" a girl. Some of you newcomers may never have dumped someone. Or maybe you have, with disastrous results. I'd like to share some simple and practical advice on how best to conclude a failed relationship.

Repeat after me:

"I do not owe her an explanation."

You have decided to end the relationship. It doesn't matter why. You have nothing to gain by trying to explain your decision. It will only make it worse. Stick to these two facts:

  • The relationship is over.
  • You are not changing your mind.

That is your frame. Do not allow her to steer the conversation in any other direction. She will question, bargain, and plead. "It doesn't matter. We are over. I am not going to reconsider." Repeat that once or twice, then exit.

She is going to be unhappy. No one likes being dumped. But you are no longer her boyfriend (or whatever). It is not your place to offer her comfort. Any attempt to soothe her will only make it worse.

Don't try to be polite, don't try to be a good guy. Never utter the phrase, "You're great, but..." Just get it done and go. Don't worry. Once you leave, she will call a friend or relative. It is their job to talk her through this, not yours.

Keep it short and to the point. A quick break is the cleanest. The longer you remain, the more emotional she will become. Offer no explanation. Offer no words of comfort. Announce your decision, tell her it is final, and say goodbye.