Most men have never had the opportunity to be particularly selective with their mate choices, and as such have cultivated a "take what I can get" attitude. This is toxic and will lead to attempts to negotiate your own feelings of attraction.

For whatever reasons, most of them biological, only certain women really get your motor running. You can try to quantify your preferences into a "type" of girl you usually go for--for example, you might find you generally are more attracted to brunettes, or girls with big asses. But sometimes you'll meet a girl who seems to fit your type but just doesn't do it for you. And that's okay. What's NOT okay is when you try to convince yourself that you should go for a girl you aren't really attracted to just because she's attainable or, on paper, would seem to be the type of girl you're attracted to.

We all know the case with beta males trying to negotiate a woman's attraction with "nice guy" behavior, supplication, pussy pedastalizing, and the like. But today i want to talk about a different type of negotiated attraction: what happens when, usually out of a lack of self confidence, you try to convince yourself that you're attracted to a woman who just isn't hot enough for you.

First of all, you need to give yourself permission to be a little picky sometimes. It's not helpful to tell yourself things like "well, I just don't find her that hot, but hey, I'm no prize myself and I guess, in the right lighting and from the right angle, she's alright." This is a recipe for disaster and will have you fucking fatties in no time--which is fine, if that's really what you're into. But fat fetishists aside (who are extremely rare), the vast vast majority of guys who wind up with fat chicks are guys who simply don't believe they can attract a woman for whom they feel a genuine physical attraction.

Maybe her hips are too narrow, maybe her nose is too crooked, or maybe you can't even figure out why she doesn't do it for you. You're under no obligation to try to force yourself to feel attracted to someone who doesn't do it for you.

So in sum, normally, when guys try to negotiate their own attraction, it's because A) The girl seems attainable, either because of her relatively lower SMV or the fact that she's indicated her interest, or B) Because you aren't confident in your own ability to attract the women you really want, and feel you should take what you can get.

Women will try to negotiate your attraction, too. Whereas men typically try to negotiate a woman's attraction with "nice guy" behavior, women tend to do it with what I call "male preference shaming." Maybe you prefer a girl with a slim waist and a fit body. Try telling this to a female friend or family member, watch them explain how you're superficial and you need to look at "what's on the inside." Maybe you're in your late 20's and you prefer a girl who's in her late teens or early 20's. You'll hear about how you're "immature," and you need to "grow up and find a woman your own age."

What does a HB9 say when she's rejecting a Beta Billy? Typically, something along the lines of "he's a really nice guy, but I just don't feel the chemistry with him." I think that it's important to give yourself permission to say something similar when you're just not feeling it with a girl. Granted, a woman's physical attraction is more based on your perceived status in a social male dominance hierarchy, and your attraction is more based on her youth and beauty, but fundamentally you're both dealing with the same problem: a lack of "chemistry." So if her hips are too narrow or she's got a horse face, if she's too old or too fat, whatever it is, you don't actually have to tell her. Just like a woman wouldn't tell a man "I'm not attracted to you because you strike me as a weak little bitch," you don't have to tell her "I'm not attracted to you because I prefer younger women." Don't even bother. Just tell her you don't feel the chemistry, she's not your type, or whatever, and leave it at that.

Sure, there's a chance by actually restricting yourself to the girls for whom you feel genuine attraction, you will deprive yourself of opportunities for sex and relationships. But personally, I'd rather be alone than spend my time with a woman who doesn't really do it for me, trying to ignore her fat gut while I fuck her, all the while staring longingly at the girls I REALLY want, jerking off to them in porn and telling myself they're "out of my league."

Most women--and not just the hotter ones--feel entitled to an alpha male. Similarly, you should feel entitled to a hot chick. If you don't, rather than settle, you should ask yourself what it is about yourself that's lacking and do whatever you can to improve it--whether that's your physique, your career or your personality.

Ultimately TRP is about getting a firm grasp on the realities of the dating world, improving yourself as far as possible, and maximizing your SMV to get the girls you REALLY want. So do yourself a favor and stop wasting time on girls you don't really want just because you're afraid to be alone. Yeah, you might get laid less, but quality > quantity. Sex is an investment and a risk, and the last thing you want is to wind up making a baby with a girl you never really wanted and being stuck paying for it for 20 years.

If you don't feel it for a girl, for whatever reason, it's okay, you deserve someone you're attracted to.