Beginning of July I went on two-month cycling trip to Norway. Had a great time, worked the body and mind. The girl in question broke up (LTR of 7 months) prior to the trip, reasons unknown because I thought nothing good can come from asking why. Dropped all contact, went and had fun. And happy sex time in Norway.

Send cards to my friends and family and send one to the ex. Just to see what her reaction would be, if any. Didn't bother to write more than her address. When I was back I got a message. "I'm so very happy I got your card!" I thought she was being sarcastic. I wrote: "I knew my words would have effect." She: "Yes they did!".

Than some more blabla, I cried when I got your card, blabla, feeling overwhelmed, blabla. Ignored it, but sensed an opening for some sex. Sex with her was great. Good body, great tits, comes easily.

Saw her last weekend. She wanted to come over to my place, but I thought, she has to work for the validation. She turned 29 somewhere last month and I know age and the dwindling of attention is eating at her. So nope, not my place, to which she was taken by surprise. Instead we went to the movies, did some kissing and bye-bye. Would have seen her Tuesday, but I had to study. While rescheduling, suddenly she starts having second thoughts. Called, she told me maybe not good idea to see each other. I replied calmly, fine, let's not waste each others time and lets end the conversation right now. She hastily comes back to her words. She continued telling me, she doesn't want things to be vague. She doesn't want anybody to get hurt. She doesn't want a relationship.

I kept reminding myself, don't listen to what they say, but watch their actions. Which is frigging hard for me. It is my weak spot. Stupid ego, I'm easily butt-hurt. Some things she said are etched on the inside of my skull. But, bit my blue tongue and managed. I told her, let's discuss this in person. Immediately she proposed next Saturday, while that was not possible several hours ago. Go figure. The way I read her behavior, she wants to be fucked. By me.

However, I can't wrap my brain around women and their words. Take this girl for instance. She compared herself with her friends who fuck and party like there is no tomorrow. Btw, pre-wall girls. She proudly told me that her girlfriends see her as a girl with Christian values. Because she doesn't fuck around. Sure...

Primarily TRP has opened my eyes to the notion of not listening to their words, but watch their actions instead. It puts the dynamic with women in a whole different light. However, as it stands now, I find it practically impossible to take a woman serious. Or even consider having a LTR with them because they are so incongruent. I catch myself feeling contempt for them.