319,171 posts
319,171 posts
751 upvotes
by on /r/TheRedPill
27 October 2015 02:40 AM UTC
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| Title | When you stop putting women on a pedestal, not only will your life improve, you also quickly realize how boring they really are. |
|---|---|
| Author | |
| Upvotes | 751 |
| Date | 27 October 2015 02:40 AM UTC (4 years ago) |
| Subreddit | TheRedPill |
| Link | https://theredarchive.com/post/37568 |
| Original Link | https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3qdat2/when_you_stop_putting_women_on_a_pedestal_not/ |
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Before TRP: "Why can't I find a woman who likes me?"
After TRP: "Why can't I find a woman who I like?"
Perhaps it's due to the nature of the Wall and fertility that women focus developmentally on sexuality attractiveness rather than actually having a personality and forming ideas. A lot of women demand being seen as more than sex objects when, in fact, that's precisely their biological prerogative. Genuinely interesting girls more often than not used to be of still are fat or ugly and learned how to be good people as compensation. (Of course, others just remain bitter.)
However, people in general are boring too, including men. People don't read. People instead watch TV and its copious advertisements. People follow trends. They engage in groupthink. They embrace the irrational and emotional rather than bring open minded and logical. Men just tend to be better at surrounding themselves with men of their own intellectual quality rather than similar attractiveness. That's the male prerogative.
I prefer the company of an average woman to an average man. At least I can fuck her.
I wouldn't say the average woman in my country is fuckable.
You missed out on great boipussy. Your loss.
Groupthink works. It does wonders. Most of human success can be attributed to politics. Making people like you is one of the most powerful things you can have in your arsenal. Being the same as others goes a long way in making people like you.
It's simple, yet effective. But for some reason I can't fathom some hipsters ignore this very powerful strategy. Maybe out of pride? I do now know.
Lol do you really think hipsters "ignore" groupthink? Hipsterism is the same old groupthink as mainstream society, just with different ideas.
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Guys "fall" in love because they're walking around the edge of a giant ditch with a blindfold. TRP is the ladder that lets you climb down into the relationship and also out.
Couldn't have said it better.
Projection is the key word in your incredibly insightful comment. I am doing a lot of research into the power of projection, why it happens, how to discern projection from reality. I think this needs deeper treatment on TRP, especially for the newbies. I still do it all the time (project X onto Y). I'm not sure there's anything I can do about it. The only difference is to develop the discipline to analyze what it is you actually see in a woman. Once you get rigorous, the, well depressing, thing is that you realize how much we/i/you conflate longing with the actual qualities she possesses. The problem is in the longing.
Yeah, I don't see how men could ever marry a woman. It seems a lot of men are weak, have a scarcity mentality, and are coerced into marrying them through guilt and other forms of female manipulation.
Young women tend to be the trendy soulless selfish frivolous type OP and Roosh V describe (i.e. in Roosh's article on the things wrong with American women), or the social justice feminist type that plagues Reddit. A lot of the times an ugly hybrid of the two, especially those women who go to university who receive an indoctrination in leftism.
I could make this a separate post but today at work, I was almost verbally decimated by someone's woman and his secretary because they asked me to tell them when will I get married, and I said "never, unless MAYBE with a prenup". They went full wildcats spitting poison how I'm "the kind of guy who even splits chairs in the house", how "that's not how love works". Even the poor guy took her position (obviously) telling me that "I just don't know how good it is", all the while his wife was talking to me about how she wants the latest iPhone, new clothes because it's been "well over a month" (the horror!) and he subtly complained about his dead bedroom.
It's as if they are the ones who are missing getting their hands in my pocket! Now that I'm TRP and I don't see this whole thing from an emotional angle, that argument didn't really worked as they planned. I'm never getting married. NEVER EVER.
They are mad at you because you have seen marriage for what it is.. and your discovery is a direct threat to women's resources.
I was talked into proposing by my sister. I wanted to make my lady happy and knew it was what she wanted. It was all for her.
So glad we never tied the knot. Even though I was BP back then there was a part of myself that was RP but had never been validated, so I questioned myself and tried to turn down the "misogyny". TRP confirmed what I've always suspected. And when she fucked me over it was the best lesson imaginable.
My sister coerced her boyfriend into proposing to her if he was going to continue dating her, as she was hitting the wall. Poor guy, shes a real bitch, but atleast she would be a decent house wife I suppose.
Same sister also convinced me to remove myself from the dating market for a year or so after she realized I dated about 20 different gals in a year. At the time I thought she was right, looking back, I see a little more clearly what she was doing, as shes been my mother figured for the last decade or so.
Women were not always like most women are now.
Even now, most women are not the most venal of women, but someone like Amy Schumer wouldn't have been celebrated by a sitting Senator pressing for gun control. She would have been a family shame and not paraded as a social icon - much less someone whose opinion is considered in any way relevant on lawmaking.
It's funny how you say you don't care about "pussy" but still constantly bitch and talk about women here.
What hurt the most when she left was all the memories of the sweet little things she did. Her laugh, her cooking...
I couldn't even think about the sex without beginning to rage because I knew she was getting plowed by new guy.
I never said I don't care about pussy, I've always cared about women way too much actually. One of my deepest desires in life has been to meet my soulmate and live happily ever after... I now see that for the delusional fantasy it is.
Oneitis. A fucking disease.
It's cute how you don't understand the difference between the two :3
It's cute how much of a pussy you are yourself. Hearing you complain about women must really take a toll on yourself. Bitching pussy.
Maybe you should take a break and then come back when you can form complete sentences.
We all care about pussy. Except your kind.
This has a corollary to getting fit:
Before getting fit: Fairly large pool of "attractive" women
After getting fit: Most women are lazy slobs, with precious few taking care of their bodies.
Marcus Aurelius would've been proud of your phrasing , "One man prays: 'how can I sleep with that woman?' Your prayer is: 'How can I lose the desire to sleep with her?'
I see so much praise of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. Can we please not forget that this dude did not exactly practice what he preached? Totally pedastaled his whore of a wife and broke an excellent line of Emperors (who chose their successors via merit and not by blood) by giving away the farm to his worthless son Commodus. Dude was a straight up beta.
Haha that's awesome. I've seen some great writing from Aurelius here on TRP before, will definitely have to check out more from him.
That basically it. I get bored with a new woman so easily now that I often don't even bother meeting them. The sex is also mostly boring.
Not only boring, but expensive. Expensive in terms of the stress in dealing with them and their feelz-logic and personality disorders, the constant drama and arguments and shittests and other attention/validation schemes, the agony of attending female activities and conversing about celebrity gossip and enduring their insipid friends/families, the opportunity cost of having to spend all this time with them instead of pursuing something productive or fulfilling, the direct fincancial cost of supporting them and purchasing the requisite number of gifts, etc.
Outside of a marriage with children, all of it is essentially a cost for sex, and if you value your time and happiness it's fucking expensive.
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Jesus.. even hookers pull this shit.... truly AWALT
Exactly:
Before TRP: I hope this nice lady likes me...
After TRP: AWALT yawn
Jesus this is exactly how I feel right now.
21 years old?
A lot of us here would give our left nuts to have found this place at 21 and applied the knowledge within.
You are on the right path, but I want to say that you don't need to loathe yourself. You have to love yourself before you can truly be a complete person.
You killed your ego with this post, which is perfect. Now you need to learn to love yourself on your way to losing that weight. You will feel much more rewarded for it.
22 here. Kind of sucks that I found it in my last year of college but whatever. Better late than never.
40 year old here. TRP is just as relevant and beneficial now as it was (would've been) at 20.
16 year old here. Got some time to prepare before university.
You're well ahead of the game, then. Good luck to you!
Don't get too hung up on it getting laid and alpha and shit. Live and meditate and do you above all else.
I've accepted the fact that i'll most likely be a virgin until university.
Agreed. TRP is the mindset to accomplish one's goals, and this is possible from conception to death.
Man then you make me feel appreciative actually, I'm 20 now found this sub last year
That's great man. Good to hear.
37 years old here and I thank GOD Ive had my eyes opened this early . Some never do and die a miserable wasted life
Found this at 17 after a bad high school relationship.
It sure saved my senior year of high school and first few years of college.
You're one of the lucky ones.
We are all "lucky ones" for finding TRP.
Your attitude stinks. It's never too early to find TRP, just be happy you found it.
Yup, but still glad to have finally seen the light. Hit the gym for the 1st time the other week and realised how weak I am. Going to try and make it a routine.
That's great man. Getting into a routine that gets you gainz and one that you enjoy is absolutely key. I'd recommend Stronglifts 5x5. It's the routine i'm currently using.
Was doing chin ups and they destroyed me, going to be an uphill battle but I feel the need to improve so nothings stopping me from this now
It's always an uphill battle. But what's life without challenge?
same here bro. May vaginas fall from the heavens onto you.
No, the correct thing to say is that,"May your happiness not be dependent on obtaining vagina."
"May your happiness not be dependent on obtaining vagina, but may vaginas fall from the heavens onto you."
i mean how big are these vaginas? because even a normal sized vagina at terminal velocity would do some serious damage. breaking windshields and shit.
Well sure but that's along the lines of "I choose to be happy but It'd be easier with a million dollars."
Not necessarily. I've know plenty of people with over a million who aren't happy. I've also known guys swimming in pussy who are really only drowning.
It's not what you have that matters but rather your understanding of life and attitude. Health is probably the most important.
Imaging that made me giggle.
Eddie Murphy had a whole comedy bit about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDQ1lxB0goY
Thank fucking goodness i found this place last year at 18 years of age.
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I feel you on that, 20 years old here. The vast majority of friends, classmates, and colleagues around my age are BP-brainwashed to exorbitant levels. The tsunami of PC, feminist, and racial undertones have immobilized them in a sea of mediocrity and complacency. The first topic of conversation for said "men" are the women they're trying to get with, and how close they are getting (in their eyes at least) to the ultimate goal, never once thinking about what they are giving up to reach it. Your very ability to have a free thought or mindstate, your time, money, efforts, all of which could be invested elsewhere and grown exponentially to the point where your original goal would naturally follow. For example, the guy who writes/plays music and follows around a girl simply using him for his money, car, room, etc. He invests countless hours into writing songs for this one piece of ass, not realizing the opportunity cost (an economic concept) of his action. He would be much stronger, free, and rich in all things RP by honing his talents and working at his craft to make the music he finds personal and spectacular. He gains some form of success in it, and women are now coming his way, chasing after not only his music but his image; even his empire. Ditch the chase; uncover your space.
Us being college students, you can also pick out the natural alphas who obviously fuck a lot of chicks. It's pretty evident. But the end goal is to be the intelligent alpha, not Chad.
I read a great post the other day regarding Alphas, Betas, and Sigmas. While banging many broads is a telltale alpha characteristic, don't overlook the Sigmas. Those silent but dilligent types, the Steve Jobs of the world amongst others. They are building legacies & empires which are sure to bring herds of women flocking to them, along with finances, status, rapport, etc. While the Beta's life pass as he chases some ass, he follows the mass and lives without class. For the Alpha who grinds, he soon finds he is surrounded by intelligent minds. Not to mention inevitable dimes, who he sucks dry and spits back like limes.
I'm in my twenties and I met someone another male about the same age who was alpha as fuck. I always wonder if he was just a natural or worked to become redpilled. He had big neck and torso muscles and drank lots of protein shake, and he knew ALL the fucking moves. We were out one night with an attractive girl in our group and he was mocking her and talking about how he was attracted to this other girl a lot (who we all knew). But it didn't look like just mind games, he 100% looked like he didn't give a fuck about this attractive girl in our group, he was that drowning in it. Of course this made the girl in our group more and more obsessed with him. Basically seeing a guy who was SO alpha made led me to find this subreddit a few months ago and I started going to the gym properly too. He's inspired me so fucking much but I've never told him.
Most if not all of my friends are blue pillers and i've mentioned red pill once and they thought i was insane, so i keep quiet now.
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48 laws of power? great book
Exactly what I was thinking. You have your whole life ahead of you. I didn't figure this out until I was in my late 30s.
I'm 18. I suppose you can say that I am lucky? Had to fuck up twice (hard) before I fully bought into the red pill; but it's worth it.
Yes. Finding this at 18 is EXTREMELY lucky. Especially if you plan to go to college. College RP is a very, very different experience than College BP.
Starve the ego, feed the soul, and fuck the brains out of any women cute enough to cross your strait and narrow red pill path!
Found this at 20, luckily in my last year of university
So being 18 does that make it even better?
No, you have to be exactly 14.93 years old. /s
Believe it or not they're a few 14 year olds on here
Hell I was familiar with TRP when I was 15-16
....yes. I mean is this a serious question?
"If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?"
--Rupaul
It's good you have recognized shortcomings man, that's really great.
When a girl starts complaining about her horseshit just pull up twitter and hand it to her.
Patrice O'Neal is even quoted saying "my girl has over 7000 tweets, thank god for twitter because that's 7000 things should would have said to me"
I've been watching a lot of Patrice ever since I found out about this place. The man was red pill incarnate.
Just to make sure, you've been watching Bill Burr too I hope? He does a podcast twice a week, carrying on where Patrice left off. They were good friends actually.
Bill Burr is awesome. Sucks he married a cunt.
Yeah, but look at it from his perspective. He's a comedian, and half his stage material is about women. He doesn't need a loyal submissive girl, he needs a sparring partner. Hell, he needs a wife who he can complain about some times on stage. I've listened to many of the podcasts and I do have to say that although they have a remarkable dynamic, it seems to be a working one. Also, it seems Bill gets what he wants out of the whole deal, which should really be all that matters. I would never have let the woman into my life either, but they seem to be doing just fine.
In some ways, yes. One major way he wasn't was how he treated his body. He was so out of shape he developed diabetes and died in his 40s.
Diet and exercise are key components of TRP.
Women are not interesting because they don't have to be - their mere existence is already interesting to men.
Men who aren't interesting, to use Christopher Hitchens's words, "...are out of the evolutionary contest. They are never going to get laid."
Christopher Hitchens goes into more detail in this video: Why Women Still Aren't Funny
This is important to grasp. TRP is about looking past this. Do you think women like this? Hell no, they will fight tooth and nail to discredit RP philosophy because it attacks the very foundation of their reality. Good on them for fighting for their continued existence.
To many of us who've swallowed the pill, that fight is temporarily won, but some women will drag some of us back down using the same old tools of deception, so the fight is never quite over. In that way, being blue pill is much like alcoholism - you never beat it completely, you always have to be vigilant and honest to yourself.
Russell Brand points this out in his auto-biography, My Booky Wook:
“A personality for the incredibly beautiful can be a pointless cargo.”
If you read the book you can easily tell he's referring to incredibly beautiful women, especially considering he's a self-titled sex addict. I assume his editor/publisher made him change the wording to avoid a feminist uproar.
I agree with the sentiment that women in general aren't funny, have no need to be and therefor no incentive to be. That being said, some of the most hilarious people I've known were women. My ex was the life of the party, always cracking jokes, but she also turned out to be way too fucking dominant and masculine in the long run. She was side splitting funny though.
I think you've echoed Hitchens's point here. Women who are funny tend to be masculine.
I recommend monk mode while you get your body in order. If you're 70 lbs overweight you have a grueling 6 months to a year ahead of you of hard work while eating smartly. Calculate your TDEE, set your caloric daily goal, use the myfitness pal app, and meet your caloric goals. Hit the gym 6 days a week and lift, lift, lift. I recommend Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5. Cardio is good, but lifting weights will burn calories and build strength while you burn fat from eating less.
Check out the Fitness sub. Do your research. Use proper form. No excuses.
Also, he should check out the fasting subs. That's the quickest way to lose weight, and it doesn't burn muscle the way people assume if you keep them shorter than 60-72 hours. Plus fasting has a range of other health benefits, producing goodies like growth hormones. And you can still lift.
At 21 you can build muscle as easily as a 21 year old girl can build her N count, but losing fat is still difficult. His SMV will rise faster, over the next few months, by concentrating on a losing that flab rather than building big thighs.
AFAIK fasting doesn't make you lose weight (its one of those things people have mixed opinions of), it just makes it easier to run a TDEE deficit.
It's pretty easy to lose 70 lbs in 6 months, just did it myself.
Yes, there's no special added effect other than a calorie defecit, but it does have other particular health effects.
70 pounds in 6 months is good going dude, nice cut. I've lost 35 in 7, but gained a fair amount of muscle.
High school wrestlers used to lose 30+ pounds in a month, I know I did. Stop eating and workout like a mad man three hours every weeknight.
Healthy? No, not even a little other than working out, but it works. Pudgy to ripped in a month.
The actors in 300 did a similar thing to prep for their roles. Gruelling, yes, but possible.
Possible and requires strong willpower. Not very healthy to do it that way, I like going a bit slower now. It's been 30 years since high school, there's thingsi simply won't do anymore.
What did you do to lose 70 lbs in three months?
How about building 70 pounds in 6 months? That's my problem and lack of finances plus knowledge of diet/nutrition. I'm basically a poor ectomorph.
Putting on muscle is much harder, I have no idea how to go about putting on thag much weight in a healthy way.
What's a practical and realistic goal in your opinion?
Don't workout 6 days a week. 3 is plenty. And if you don't have the discipline to work out yet then you don't have to while losing wait as long as you're counting your calories.
most girls, and by most i mean like 99.9%, are boring as fuk
"adventures" = going to a bar and getting shitfaced, starting drama, and taking selfies.
they will leech off of you and do the stuff you do while constantly demanding attention.
now there are very very few girls who will actually be fun and want to do actual interesting shit, but they are extremely rare and still share the same AWALT characteristics.
this doesnt just apply to betas, though. there's limited stuff you can do with a girl. you can talk to them, which most of the time will be listening to their problems/drama, you can fuck them, which gets boring after a while, and not much else.
i still chose to be done with them and focus on myself and my goals for the past few years and it's done wonders for me.
think about this, 5 years from now - would you rather have fucked 100 girls, or made a million dollars? which will give you more opportunities to do fun shit? which will get you more women? always the $$$
Advise on getting to a million?
be a billionaire before you meet the woman
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Find something you love, find a way to make people pay you for it, keep finding ways to make people pay you more for it.
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Agreed, if you can write software to manage an aspect of someone's business, write it once, sell it 10,000 times and pay people to manage and support it. Skim some $ of the top as a salary and travel the world or work on another product.
Start a business. Put all your effort into it. Make it work. Expand it. Hire people to help. No complaining. No excuses.
The right way, and the wrong way.
The right way: add value to others, society, yourself. Make the world a better place, because increased efficiency benefits all players. Turning trash (wasted time/resources/efforts) into gold (value/productivity).
The wrong way: exploit others and take their money. No matter what your view of morality, you don't make the overall "pie" bigger by stealing other people's slices. It is a lot easier to lie your way to your first million than to work your way, but your 10th million it's the other way around because trust is a factor.
Take that for what it is, it's worth what you paid for it (nothing) because I'm not a millionaire, I've just known a few.
While I agree, at the same time, I feel like I'm subconsciously using this as an excuse not to fuck more women.
But it's something I can't fix. They're just so bland and boring. I could spend ten minutes spicing up a girl and seducing her, or I could spend that same ten minutes studying, hitting the gym, or even fucking meditating. Any of those activities would be more rpdouctive than listening to her ramble.
It's almost like I've lost attraction towards women in general, in the pursuit of productivity. I could still appreciate beauty and good-looking girls, but I could no longer seem to appreciate the interaction with 99.9% of the girls as you say because (i) most don't have game and (ii) they're really not that interesting. It's like I've inadvertently entered monk mode.
Yeah be very careful of listening to the veterans. Often times they are right: you don't need to spend a good time of your youth fucking women. However... if you feel that this is an excuse so that you don't have to put yourself out there, then you're probably not ready for this stage. If you're not fucking women, I'm of the mind that it must be your choice, and the only way it's your choice is if you know you can get pussy decently easy, and that takes time & effort. So the advice makes sense in the grand scheme of things but you'll be stunting your happiness and growth because that will always be in the back of your mind. Hard to concentrate on other ventures when even HB7's (who are 6's in real life) with skimpy clothes on distract you when they shouldn't. . Some dudes spend years worshipping pussy and they would have gotten over it had they just fucked a lot of different women...
And if you meditate then you know that's not true. You need to think outside the box (or rather not think?)
I'm of the mind that an interaction can only be boring as long as you're limiting yourself to what you're willing to do. People are like computers and your words are code and everything can be programmed into a game. "You know what? I'm going to pull this girl using one word sentences". "I'm going to try to pull a girl using strictly body language and not say a single word to her". Women are humans and can be MADE interesting, the same way you laugh (outside of a old person or a disabled person, etc) if someone slips on a banana peel. Maybe some people can fall in a more hilarious fashion but most of the time you laugh strictly because they fell, and the person was of no great contribution, it could have been anyone... get it? You are the banana peel. Your entertainment is within... I can hold an enjoyable one sided conversation and make myself laugh with another women. She only serves to give me fodder for me to talk more and make myself laugh more. She doesn't necessarily have to be interesting at all. And I can do so MUCH! Have a conversation and don't even make eye contact and just stare at her breasts or something until she points out that you're staring at her breasts and you just deny it while staring at her breast.... the opportunities for self enjoyment are endless!!!! And you meditate so you should know this.
One of my FAVORITE things to do is to go up to people and say something that I think is HILARIOUS. It's literally a win win, I can't lose! I'm an interesting person even to ME, so it's a strategy that can't be defeated. I have a lot of other metaphors to explain this dynamic but this is good enough for now.
I like the cut of your jib.
When I go out it's to entertain MYSELF. Most guys in my circle are on this constant pussy mission to the extent that when we go out we can't do or talk about anything else. Your experience is what you make it..and people are only as boring as you allow them to be in your presence.
Edit: One of my favorite things to do is get a girl's name wrong all. night. long.
I forgot how much fun that is, just to fuck with people while I'm out. Becoming an NCO and having to pay it straight to command respect stifled that part of me. I'm only now getting back into it, and I've been out of the military for over ten years.
I'm nearly finished with building my home, so now it's time to go back out there and fuck with college girls. Should be a fun winter.
haha I'm using that shit. That's hilarious. I can just see the girl's reaction getting more severe as the night progresses but at the same time she can't get enough... that shit is hilarious.
Yeah, life's serious enough. Sometimes I'll find myself focussed on the negative when I hit my buddies' bars, and the plastic, attention-seeking bitches that are there start annoying me.
I usually only hit those spots because my friends own them, and that's the only time to catch up with them when they're not otherwise engaged with family shit. I end up spending a great deal of time sitting alone at the end of the bar, waiting for them to have some time free from dealing with customers/staff, so we can continue our conversations.
Gives me a lot of time to observe people and come up with ways to amuse myself without actually joining their groups. Somewhere along the line it became more entertaining than actually trying to get laid. I get the occasional "dude-youre-the-worst-coming-in-here-and-fucking-with-my-customers" look from my boys when I'm smiling to myself in the corner, but they're bored too and can usually catch on to what I'm doing from their vantage point behind the bar with a wink, and end up just smiling, shaking their heads and going along with it.
Monk mode doesn't always have to mean ignoring women completely. What's that saying?
"You can't learn patience sitting alone on the top of a mountain"?
Okay. I enjoyed your post but I feel the need to clarify a few things.
I'm not intimidated by women and haven't been after my first girlfriend at the age of 16. I can hold an awkward uncomfortable pause without flinching, and I've gone over the oneitis period too many times to be distracted by any one woman -- or person-- again.
Instead, I admit I have lousy game. I'm a horrible conversationalists -- even outside of women -- and it's an area I want to work on. Definitely improved a lot, and definitely better than most peopl -- but I hold myself to a high standard and want to be THE most charismatic person I can be.
But I lack the incentive. Back of my mind realized that it's not really worth it. Unlike progress at the gym or studies, the effects of charisma aren't long lasting. In other words, I don't really see the value in spending time and energy forming friendships/relationships at this stage of my life, because I know most relationships won't even last beyond five months (friendships included), and those that do seem rather shallow and not deep -- can't talk about topics like selfimprovement, women, which are my major hobbies.
So I don't really have the drive to keep relationships anymore. It's like I've given up on humanity because I know my energy will be better spent and rewarded by doing shot that matters to me -- kinda MGTOW
I'm reading your post and your mind is bouncing around. You're not intimidated by women (which wasn't what I was getting at, what I was getting at is that you are responsible for how you feel), you have lousy game and you want to be the most charismatic you can be but at the same time it's not worth it because relationships don't last too long... you really need to clean that shit up.
You need to meditate MORE. You can do whatever you want, whatever you enjoy ultimately but your not really focused. How can you want to be the most charismatic person but at the same time not have any incentive to do it? It's like saying "I want to workout but working out is tough"... well shit or get off the pot. You either do or you don't.
Perhaps you misunderstand me. I do think you could offer me some valuable advice, though. If you have time, I'd appreciate if you could read my reply to another poster -- it clarifies a few things about my current mindset.
To be very honest as well, it could be a possibility. To eliminate this, I actively discipline myself, to talk to any girl I don't know for at least 5 minutes -- and fully commit myself to the set for that 5 minutes (i.e. no distractions, no early ejection, even if she's boring I'll pretend that it's super interesting, even if she's ugly I'll pretend that she's adorable). Essentially, I give every girl -- no matter what her status is -- a 5-minute chance. Even if it's just to make sure that I have this habit of talking to girls, and to make sure it's not just my hamster subconsciously self-sabotaging my goals.
That said, I still think most of the girls I talk to are boring, and this is mainly from a very narcissistic standpoint. A lot of us here work on ourselves, we have ambitions and goals. We sculpt our body and sharpen our mind. We explore the world and work on our careers. And a lot of us here are driven to improve our craft every day -- and in doing so, we sacrificed a lot of our time/energy to dedicate to our lives.
But a large majority of the world do not. They indulge themselves in mindless distractions, when I explicitly make an effort to dismiss them through meditation. A lot of social gatherings would involve drinking booze and eating out, when I specifically track each and every single macro and calorie to make sure it does not hinder my diet. A lot of television and news that they watch, are things I specifically avoid due to the negativity. Long story short, the way an actualized person sees the world is very different from one that is "in the system". And a lot of the activities and behaviors that the majority indulges themselves in, are activities that we actively avoid.
At the same time, most of the problems they face "can't stop procrastinating, relationship problems, can't stick to my diet, no motivation to hit the gym" are simply problems that we cannot really relate to anymore. And in the same vein, a lot of their indulgences (TV shows, fiction books, gossip, celebrity shit, social media) are simply instant gratifying things that we actively avoid and, again, we can't relate to it anymore.
This is precisely why I find a lot of girls -- no, people -- extremely boring. Still, I give them a chance -- there are a few recent conversations that have surprised and inspired me, and they make it worthwhile -- but at the same time, I've given up on general expectations and hope. It gives me a peace of mind.
Don't confuse charisma with the ability to seduce women.
If you don't think that charisma has a major effect on one's overall success, you do indeed have a lot of thinking to do.
It's not that woman are "bland and boring", it's just that you haven't found the right woman. It's true, 95% of women are boring as fuck, as are 95% of men.
But if you are in that top 5% then don't complain about how shit the 95% is - it's your job to find higher quality people.
Ten minutes spent chatting up a ditzy basic chick might be a waste of time. But 10 minutes of chatting up a girl who really interests you is fun, that's what it's about.
This shit again? The "right woman" trope? Here's a hint blue pill coppertop, there is no right woman just as there is no spoon, it's an illusion. Sure some might not be as boring as others just like some might not be as fat and ugly as others, but they're all fat, all boring, all ugly, and the only thing needed to bring it out is time.
Get the romantic bullshit idea that there is a "right girl of there for you" because it's a fantasy.
I think you are getting caught up in the wording and not the message which is on point. Replace right woman with right women. Yes its a fairy tail to sit there and think you will meet the right one someday. I've met plenty of women who aren't fat, boring, ugly, dumb, etc. I'm also not OP who is 70+ pounds overweight and blaming his mom instead of himself for his behavior.
When I see these types of comments I often wonder who these girls are that some of TRP guys are hanging out with. Fuck, raise your standards a little bit. Every woman will have her issues but I also have issues too. I don't think anyone on here looks like Brad Pitt, has millions, cures diseases, and has a medal of honor.
I'm in my mid 30s and zero interest in marriage right now, but anyone on here to think they are going to be in their 50s and fucking dime pieces is delusional. If you think hating women because of their flaws is the way to go for the rest of your life I suggest you read about Hugh Hefner's current lifestyle. Depressing as fuck.
No, I'm speaking from experience. There. Are. No. Right. Women.
AWALT.
You're a dumbass if you think this attitude is hating women, still locked firmly into the power plant aren't you? I don't give a fuck about Heffner, nor do I care if I "have someone special in my life." I am quite content knowing no bitch can take from me, leave me homeless again, and I don't have top support anyone other than myself and my dogs. I get laid any time I want to, have a soft harem of girls who enjoy their time with me, and I have other priorities vastly more important in my life than pussy.
Unplug and see them how they really are, that they aren't special, not unique, not a man with tits and a vagina like you've been trained to think, and you'll understand. I like girls quite a lot, I'm very fond of them, and they are incredibly fun to fuck, but I like my GTOs far more. My dogs are infinitely more loyal and trustworthy than any girl ever will be. I accept them how they are, I do not judge them for it, as you still apparently do, and appreciate those who earn my time. They're not men, stop using the same scale to measure girls, it's apples and carburetors.
No, it's logical. Just as we are capable of being attractive and fulfilling men, there are females capable of being attractive and fulfilling. It takes a certain upbringing and moral fibre on their part and sure it might be rare as fuck, but there are good women out there.
Here we understand that primitive biology underlies the reasons for a womans mistakes. But you can work around biology, around your primal desires. It requires understanding and self awareness, but I do it everyday, all humans can.
If you are yourself complete and do your part of choosing wisely from the selection, you can find the right woman for yourself.
Yeah there are good women out there, on the girl scale. Not on the man scale. Always trust a girl to be a girl, that means she will branch swing or cheat (attempted branch swing) with the right opportunity.
Every fucking one of them will. How do I know? Because nearly any man will if he gets the chance, and he stands to lose infinitely more than she ever would by cheating. That's why they used to stone cheating bitches. Death still isn't a great deterrent, they still cheated.
Well duh, I'd be more than happy... Problem is I haven't found this right woman/man. Suggestions on what to do?
On one hand, lowering my standards would get more results but seems to compromise my boundaries.
Don't lower your standard, higher your standard, if you think the girls you're currently talking to are boring.
Ofcourse you'll also have to higher your standard for yourself. You can't be normal average joe and expect interesting girls.
Too be very honest it does sound like you are hamstering and using it as an excuse.
To be very honest as well, it could be a possibility. To eliminate this, I actively discipline myself, to talk to any girl I don't know for at least 5 minutes -- and fully commit myself to the set for that 5 minutes (i.e. no distractions, no early ejection, even if she's boring I'll pretend that it's super interesting, even if she's ugly I'll pretend that she's adorable). Essentially, I give every girl -- no matter what her status is -- a 5-minute chance. Even if it's just to make sure that I have this habit of talking to girls, and to make sure it's not just my hamster subconsciously self-sabotaging my goals.
That said, I still think most of the girls I talk to are boring, and this is mainly from a very narcissistic standpoint. A lot of us here work on ourselves, we have ambitions and goals. We sculpt our body and sharpen our mind. We explore the world and work on our careers. And a lot of us here are driven to improve our craft every day -- and in doing so, we sacrificed a lot of our time/energy to dedicate to our lives.
But a large majority of the world do not. They indulge themselves in mindless distractions, when I explicitly make an effort to dismiss them through meditation. A lot of social gatherings would involve drinking booze and eating out, when I specifically track each and every single macro and calorie to make sure it does not hinder my diet. A lot of television and news that they watch, are things I specifically avoid due to the negativity. Long story short, the way an actualized person sees the world is very different from one that is "in the system". And a lot of the activities and behaviors that the majority indulges themselves in, are activities that we actively avoid.
At the same time, most of the problems they face "can't stop procrastinating, relationship problems, can't stick to my diet, no motivation to hit the gym" are simply problems that we cannot really relate to anymore. And in the same vein, a lot of their indulgences (TV shows, fiction books, gossip, celebrity shit, social media) are simply instant gratifying things that we actively avoid and, again, we can't relate to it anymore.
This is precisely why I find a lot of girls -- no, people -- extremely boring. Still, I give them a chance -- there are a few recent conversations that have surprised and inspired me, and they make it worthwhile -- but at the same time, I've given up on general expectations and hope. It gives me a peace of mind.
I cant find the right woman for you, but my suggestion is to stop complaining about how rubbish most women are. It might be true, but bitterness and a shitty attitude don't help in my experience.
You are capable of being an attractive and fulfilling man. Likewise, there are women capable of being attractive and fulfilling, somewhere. Make new friends if it's important to you, just dont complain
Apologies if I sounded like I'm complaining, I guess part of me was ranting, but part of me also felt frustrated that I can't find a solution to this problem.
Perhaps simply by thinking and overanalyzing this, I'm making it a problem. I will go take more action then come back with results to discuss.
Ignore that stupid "right girl" bullshit, it's a myth, fantasy, Disney Princess horseshit. That fuck is still plugged in. He wants his princess who will be faithful and stay beautiful so he can be happy ever after.
It doesn't work that way and never has.
Oh no, I certainly don't think there's only ONE right girl. I mean I haven't found any "right people" or the "right group of friends" in general.
You can also like women for what they are.
Edit: Judging from the downvotes I think people don't seem to understand what I mean by that.
psh thats life tho. If you can forgo all else except for monetary goals you can practically achieve anything, money-wise. It's just EXTREMELY hard to do, and I cant figure out how to do it.
I choose "fucked 100 girls". I know a buddy who's getting a new fucking car from his corrections officer that he's fucking now.
I think one of the biggest advantages of being male is that the world tells it to us straight. If we have any shortcomings or weaknesses they will either get exploited or pointed out at our expense.
This forces us to stay on our shit and improve constantly.
Most Women don't experience this, even an overweight 4 has an iPhone full of validation and a cluster of orbiters. This leads them to think more highly of themselves than they really should. They become complacent and stop getting better because they don't need to.
You're biggest challenge yet the biggest opportunity as well is to lose those 70 pounds of fat.
You'll be amazed at how people treat you differently.
It's a lot of weight to lose, likely will take two or three years to do sustainably but is a hundred percent worth it. This should be your number one goal.
Don't succumb to fad diets or crazy calorie restrictions. Reduce daily calories by 500. Cut ALL soda drinks, drunk only water and unsweetened ice tea. Cut all candy and processed sugar products. That alone would make a miracle within a year.
Look into Rooibos tea (aka Red Bush tea). It is a naturally sweet herbal tea. Has no caffeine, extremely low calories (if at all) and is packed with anti oxidants. It is relatively cheap (it grows in a specific desert region in South Africa so it might be a little bit more than normal tea) and it chills well as an ice tea. They started adding the stuff to face cream, it is that good. I actually drink that over normal tea.
Dandelion root tea is good as well, kinda nutty flavored and helps when weaning yourself off coffee.
Red Pill tea advice megathread?
I started drinking African Nectar tea. It taste like those honey sickle flowers that would grow on the field in elementary. Its the same stuff though. Definitely worth a try.
OP said he was 70lbs overweight - not 10. Assuming he doesn't lift heavy af and isn't at a risk of losing muscle, he could probably cut 1500/day for several months without hitting a wall. Just keep protein/fiber/water intake high enough.
70lbs fat loss is not a "2 or 3 year" thing. It should take about 6 months. Gaining 20-40lbs of muscle after that? Yeah, a couple years. But just losing fat is nothing.
I forgot to mention I'm 6'0 & 240 pounds. Ideal weight for my height is 170 right? I'm medium frame.
I'm 6-0 and I'm 211 after being 260 on July 4. Leangains, brother. I've tried every weight loss protocol there is and leangains is the best. You absolutely can be ripped in 5-6 months (and no running!).
Check it out.
I'm 5'8 and 265-270, my ideal weight is 155 (according to the US military) haven't been able to get that low since I was a junior in high school. I was active duty at 235, which means less than 15%bf using the very skewed tape method. Skewed to make you fatter than you actually are. I've gained considerable mass in the last ten years, mostly in the last three.
The point of me saying that is to illustrate that the ideals don't fit everyone, my bone structure is very robust despite my height. Yours could get very slight, very heavy, or right in the average range. You won't know until you get there. Right now I'm not wash board abs, but you can see my ribs and I have good definition in my arms, back and legs. At around 245 I should have a six pack starting to show, and be absolutely ripped at 220, but I'll have to burn mass to get that low again.
Lift, get the body fat down with diet, don't be as concerned about scale weight as a indicator, but user it as a guide to track progress. Once you start packing on the muscle mass, the scale will go up. Probably not to the extent I'm at, but depending on how effective your lifting and diet is, it can be considerable.
So, you're fat.
Something doesn't add up here
I'm not fat. Have ribs showing as I am now, good definition on my arms and back.
Muscle weighs considerably more than fat does. That's what doesn't add up. I'm not typical.
Chest 52"
Arms 20" flexed
Thighs 28"
Waist 38"
Neck 21"
Wrists 9.5"
Nobody believes what I benched in 2003, or that I benched 265 at 17 when I was 170lbs. Its been over well 350 for almost 30 years now. I carry bare Pontiac 400/455 engine blocks and put them on stands without a hoist. Used to load cargo planes, think lots of lifting, pushing, and doing stuff most people can't... Like running up 3 flights of steps carrying 200lbs multiple times a day. You could say I'm kinda strong.
No, I won't post pics because I don't care if you believe me or not and being recognized and harassed in real life isn't my idea of a fun time, since I tend to hurt people who push to far.
You wont know your frame til you cut the fat and put on muscle. Dont handicap yourself before you even get started by reading pseudoscience like "genetic potential" calculators and the like. You can potentially get up to 190 or more quite easily, and be very musclar and only spend 3-5 hours/week lifting. Any bigger may (or may not) require additional 3-5/hours. Everyone is different. 6'0/170 wouldnt even need weightlifting you'd just look like a soccer player with no pecs/shoulders/ass.
Diet hard, lose the fat, lift weights but dont worry too much about progression/strength increases. Fat loss is #1 right now. Once you get under 200, eat more food and go from there.
The last thing you want to be is some bear-mode fake powerlifter. Cut first, then strength train, then bodybuilding to inflate everything and tighten loose skin.
You say, "Cut first". I'm wondering if you would give the same advice to an older guy. For a generic example, let's say he's 40 years old, at 6'0 and 195 lbs.
My thought has been that, for people whose bodies have begun the long down slope, strength training should come first (provided you're not obese). This way, you reinforce the infrastructure that can help prevent injury when doing all the cardio needed to burn off the fat.
Does this make sense to you, or am I missing something?
It makes sense, if youre recomending high intensity long duration cardio (30+ minute grueling pace jogs). I wouldnt. To lose weight, Do either low intensity for a long time or high intensity for a short time (<10M). Almost no chance of injury or overuse or muscle loss.
The key to losing weight is 90% diet. op needs to eat less, period. The only cardio you truly "need" is just the cardio that allows you to eat mor fiber and protein calories, and fruits/vegetables. Thats it.
During cutting you should be lifting, not sitting on the couch, you are just doing it with a calorie deficit and a higher percentage of protein.
Sounds about right. I'm 6' 1" and 170 and people think I'm skinny. Maybe you might be a bit heavier if you have some serious muscles.
70 lbs in 6 months is excessive. If you start off aggressive and you aren't used to cutting cycles, you're not going to be faithful and you're going to give up. The previous advice is perfect.
This is not r-fitness. This is not r-loseit. And it sure as fuck isnt r-2xhamsters. We are TRP. I'm not going to give OP bitch advice meant for a bitch. I am going to give him advice for a grown man ready to change his life.
70lbs in 6 months is nothing when you are obese. The first 40 would probably come off in about 12 weeks; that leaves 14 more weeks for around 30lbs. Again, nothing.
I dont give a flying fuck how strong or how adherent the "average" male or average dieter is. I am saying what is both medically possible and not very hard to obtain, provided you follow my instructions (limited weights, low intensity cardio, plenty of protein/fiber/vegetables, etc.)
Stop giving bitch advice. You're in the wrong sub for that. you wouldnt advise someone to graually lower women from the pedestal, would you? No? Then stop being a hypocrite here.
He claims to be 70 lbs overweight, you think he got there by dedication and hard work? No, he got there because he didn't have discipline to go the other direction. You think you just wake up one day and you're like "OH, I'M FUCKING ALPHA NOW, LIFE IS DIFFERENT" and everything is fucking done? Absofuckinglutely not. It's a process. It's a transition.
He's 6' and 240, are you seriously suggesting he eats a deficit of 1500 calories a day? Or are you saying he should eat 1500 a day?
Your program doesn't mean shit if it makes someone feel like shit all day and doesn't yield any positive results and heavy negative results at the beginning. He's new, learn how to teach people before you start spouting off information.
Stop giving shitty advice. I also wouldn't advise someone to take the advice of a single Redditor and use that alone to change their lives. Get off your own fucking pedestal, until proven otherwise, you're not that special.
All that bitch-talk and still 1) no alternative plan, and 2) no explanation of WHY my plan wouldnt work or would make OP feel "like shit".
-1500/day isnt that hard. I can do it and i have a significant amount of muscle mass. I have to force myself to eat more because FOR ME and my HEAVY ASS LIFTS (1200+ on the Big 3), its not worth risking strength or mass. OP is not me.
Yes, some people do in fact wake up, or have a specific event, and change their life. Its not my fault you lost hope. Its not my fault youre still a loser with low self esteem who assumes everyone else is a forever-loser like you.
OP can do this shit if he puts his mind to it and ignores the fakers and perpetrators. Stop fucking it up and setting the bar so low.
70 pounds can take up to a year for most people, but not 2 or 3. 6 months assumes a linear loss of about 12 pounds a month, which is seldom the case, even for people who are strict with their diet.
We are not r-people - this is r-trp. We're men, in the process of a profound mental and physical overhaul. We make commitments and stick to them.
If you want to discuss dieting advice for "people" and "average dieters", go somewhere else.
Oh shut up-- you're just being a snooty little bitch instead of having a discussion. You'll seldom see such linear weight loss unless someone is very, very obese.
So your point isnt that i'm incorrect, or that my program wouldnt work......just that your personal fee-fees dont like it. Makes perfect sense.
Only one of us is naming specific numbers and plans of action. The other is being a fucking idiot and pontificating.
The biggest impact is how you view yourself. Once you start losing weight and gaining muscle, your confidence will go through the roof.
Here's a theory:
Women supposedly mature faster than men, right? It's a blanket statement and obviously pretty general, let's hold it true for a moment.
Now, what if women, by maturing early, also stop this maturing process sooner then men? Naturally we assume maturity and experience are somewhat linear tied with age, with small jumps for things like change of careers, military duty, etc. What if at some point for women, it slows way down or stops outright compared to men?
There's plenty of examples, but the biggest in society is overall looks. Women focus much more heavily than guys on their looks, and never really "mature" out of it. I don't see many women engaging in philosophical talks with other women, it's usually focused on superficial things like looks, relationships, drama, etc. Women remain more childlike, somewhat like a teenager, than their male counterpart, particularly as age increases.
As OP talks about removing a women from her pedestal, you kind of see them focusing on very simple things in their life. Thoughts?
Have you read "Women, the most responsible teenager" on the sidebar yet?
My bet is not. Too many newbs here not doing their homework before posting.
Read the god damned sidebar. Then read it again. Stop blabbing, start reading and internalizing. THEN you might have something interesting to contribute.
Not only that, it actually shows in their physical appearance. Women actually, objectively LOOK more like children. Smaller, more narrow shouldered, rounder body (more curved), they even have a higher voice. This is not uncommon in biology, it's called neoteny and seen in many other species. I second that you have to take another look at the sidebar.
As ThaDilemma said, that article explains that most women reach full maturity at age 18, then they stop maturing anymore. That's it, nada, zilch, no more. Men need until age 28(!) to get to the same maturity level of a woman 18 years old, however after 28 they continue to mature until they die. So yeah, your suspicions are correct. Your mileage may vary.
All women are children, including your mother. Once I internalized that, the quality of our relationship increased.
They might not 'continue to mature at 28'. There's large amounts of women in their 40's and 50's who definitely are children.
Girls don't mature past 18. The 46 year old bitches from my high school class act exactly the same way they did 30 years ago. Every fucking one of them. My own mother was a teenager in mentality into her late 60s when she passed. Old girls act the same as young ones, but they expect so much more because their entitlement is growing while their attractiveness wanes.
In case you are wondering why you got downvoted, it is because he meant men continue to mature after 28. His point is women stop at 18 but a man needs to get to 28 to be the same maturity level.
Of course, I'd say this is quite subjective. In my opinion it depends upon the person and their experiences a fair amount as well.
You misunderstood. Here, let me simplify it. Women mature until 18, then stop. Men mature until 28, reach the same level as women ( or more ) , then continue. Yes, women in 40's and 50's still think like an 18 year old.
Once I took the pussy off the pedestal, I found it amazing how many women simply couldn't carry on a conversation or debate... they rely on style over substance, and once you learn to mentally strip away the style, if the substance is lacking, you'll never be satisfied with them.
The moment I sat down with a woman and was able to actually have an in-depth conversation that spanned a wide variety of topics and showcased what a well-rounded individual should be, I was fascinated. Give me a smart woman who can carry a conversation and understands the finer points of many topics and is a 7.5/10 over a 9/10 devoid of any depth every time.
Reminds me of this girl I met who said she was taking Comp Sci. I started talking about some technical details of a language that a CS student at her level should know and she was immediately out of her depth. She was probably more used to guys fawning over her because she had some interest in Comp Sci, probably tricked them into doing her problem sets too
Don't worry about her; she'll be promoted to manager in no time thanks to the bullshit quota's and "progressive" stance companies want to show.
Women were unqualified for those jobs to begin with. That's why they can't hang. After all the hustling and grinding men go through to get to the same position, they have the work ethic to handle the workload and then some (let's not forget that false rape charge, further hardening the individual).
And it's probably for the best that she's removed from a position to do anything dangerous.
I'm training to become an electrician. At school there's this one chick whose conversations I regularly overhear. She has no handle on the technicality she's studying and the teachers are lax with her. Add to that her beta orbiter who often helps her and explains basic shit she should know by now.
They don't even have to be attractive, some men will still fawn over them, thinking it'll get them laid if they help her out and make her laugh all the time.
Most of those girls are homely. My second wife was brilliant, not just book smart, but she was a complete novice at social interactions. She was also very plain, had jacked up teeth, lopsided tits with a full cup size difference between them, and no curves to speak of, but I overlooked her physical shortcomings because she was fun to be around, could converse about almost anything, and he'll she was skinny do it was fun fucking her. Just turn the lights off.
The only intelligent attractive girls I've met were severely broken emotionally due to sexual abuse at a young age. The crazy scale isn't linear with smart hot girls, it's near vertical and goes up like drag v velocity.
Smart, hot, sane
Pick any two.
Nah, there's no sane girls. Some hide it better than others.
If you want to accelerate your progress even more, cultivate cocky over-confidence.
You can't go wrong by being too confident and too cocky (with women). Too cocky = interesting to a woman, even if it's obvious at first glance that you objectively aren't shit yet. This mindset is the opposite of thinking you have no chance with these women. No matter how 100% objective and realistic that thinking may be, it's still blue and is still holding you back.
Since it is very natural for the man's emotions to swing into a "monk mode" during the anger phase and what follows, especially after a lifetime on the blue pill, you can look at my advice as taking charge, pushing that pendulum (of your own emotions) the opposite way hard. It will swing with greater amplitude, and you will find your very own "good neutral" state quicker that way, one that will be 100% authentic and take little effort to maintain. Unlike the extreme state of super cocky over confidence, which is pretty taxing. Expect everything to get super draining emotions-wise and you will want to give up/throw up, but just stick with it and conquer. It's not an endless war, it's just a few annoying-as-hell battles with your own blue pill self which you need to win.
There was a post on askreddit the other day that asked "women, what turns you off the most about a guy?" It was a popular thread I caught early and the top comment at the time was "arrogance", so I replied "isn't arrogance just confidence coming from somebody you don't like?"
It got a lot of attention and despite everybody swearing up and down they are completely different it boiled down to whether or not they personally believed that the confident person deserved to be acting that way. If they didn't approve of their confidence they labeled it as arrogance.
The problem is if you are born in the underclass merely acting confident is considered "threatening" or "arrogant" and nearly everybody you meet will think you should not be acting that way. So if you wait for approval from others to act confident you will likely never be confident and therefore remain stuck in the underclass, which I think is part of the goal of people trying to put you down for having pride while being poor.
Once I worked at a restaurant seating customers and I acted confident and always dressed real nice and customers always assumed I was the manager and the chicks seemed to dig me. Sounds good right? Well, a couple weeks into the job I got called into the back office where 3 of the managers were and they began to question me about "who the hell I think I am?" and told me that I "walk around like I own the place".
They felt as if I should be walking around nervous and timid with my head down, lol. Fuck them, they were just pissed because customers and employees were beginning to look up to me as a leader because I came off as being in control while the managers were insecure and expected people to worship them because of their job title.
90% of those in management are in it for the power and thus become unqualified for the position because they spent all their time learning how to lord over instead of learning how to run the business. I could outperform them and I don't even have a job.
Confidence is something you feel and project through action without making a show of it. Humble confidence is attractive to everyone.
Arrogance is talking about your accomplishments and how great you are. Making assumptions about what you're entitled to. This is unattractive to everyone.
People will call you arrogant when you're simply being confident because they're jealous (men) or can't have you (women). Just learn not to talk about yourself or try to impress people and things will get easier.
Makes me think of something an old man said to me once: If your life ever surpasses your wildest dreams, keep it to yourself.
Another facet of confidence v arrogance is that confidence stems from accomplishment, actually doing something. Arrogance stems from thinking you can without ever having tried or actually done it.
I am confident I can fuck girls half my age, because I have. It would be arrogance if I hadn't but claimed I could. That confidence makes it incredibly easy to get young girls naked, so it feeds itself. Sometimes arrogance works, because the bitches don't know the difference, and if they're into you already, they'll overlook it and follow along.
Another way to put it. I have a street driven car I built that runs 9 second quarte mile times. I have confidence that it can beat most cars out there, though I know there's lots of cars much faster because I'm not an idiot. The kid with the turbo Neon that runs 14 second quarters who thinks his car is the fastest heap of shit on the road is arrogant, there's no substance or capability behind his thinking. This kid tells everyone how brutally fast his car is and says he won't race for less than $500. He simply doesn't know how much faster even my daily driver is than his car, not to mention the ludicrously fast cars out there running 8s and 7s. Most people are scared shitless in a low 12 second car, single digits are mind bending to the uninitiated who have only driven 4 cylinder cars and slow ass trucks. Neon kid would shit himself riding in the passenger seat of a 7 second machine, but a girl riding in his slow ass Neon might be impressed enough to fuck him, because she is extremely clueless.
Confidence is knowing you can because you have, arrogance is thinking you can when you haven't, as well as telling everyone about it.
I disagree with that. If you are in the Olympics for the first time and confident you can win a gold, that really isn't arrogance. You can definitely be confident in doing something new but letting everyone know and making wild claims is arrogance. Another form of arrogance is being so confident that you fail to take proper precautions or complete necessary steps to complete the goal.
If you look at what you said, and what I said, is two different things.
The truth. Act like you have been there before.
Interesting you bring that up. Last weekend I was talking to two 20 something loser girls at a friends house, yeah they were attractive, but bitching about being broke because they quit their jobs and general attitude made them losers.
Well both do this acrobatic thing like pole dancing but with suspended rings. Upon hearing that I said "So then you're firm everywhere" to which the other one said "That was so creepy". I mentioned that creepy is only a matter of attraction which is why she thought it was, she isn't attracted to me. She tried to defend her position by claiming if net boyfriend said that it would still be creepy and then claimed I should have said something like "you must be very toned." My reply was "So you want me to talk like a girl rather than a man." The look on her face was priceless.
There was another one there, 33, looking like the wall smacked her hard, overweight and did nothing with her limp hair. She mentioned she had a boyfriend four times in half an hour. The last time loud enough for everyone in the room to hear it I said "Yeah I heard you the first time about your bf" that shut her yap fast, apparently not many men have put her in her place before. Why did she bring it up? I wasnt hitting on her, not even remotely interested, yet she felt the need to bring up her boy.
Next thing I know, "that's creepy" girl sits next to me and massages the firm girls feet while we watch a movie. She kept bumping my hands with hers as she did it. Now this girl is the one my bud is fucking, he really likes the loser girls, they're everywhere around him, show up in droves, to the point if I met a girl through him, I mostly write her off. Here's this bitch, trying to start kino with me because I held frame and forced them all into mine.
My confidence is huge, I'll readily admit it. However I'm as old as most of these girls parents, and post wall chick asked how old I was 3 times. If the gray in my beard doesn't tell you everything you need to know, you're stupid. They didn't think I should be so cocky and confident, and tried to slot me as an orbiting beta faggot. When they discover they can't do that, they get wet. Old guys aren't supposed to be cocky and arrogant with young girls in their world.
I doubt I'm the creepy old guy now.
That is a type of yoga and if you are old enough to be their parents asking if they are firm all over is pretty creepy. You were right there, you can look at their body without commenting on it.
Well, you missed the point entirely. Also, age is irrelevant when it comes to men. Would it be creepy if Harrison Ford said she probably has a firm body? What about Brad Pitt? Shit, Been Affleck is about my age, nobody would call him creepy for talking to a 21 year old.
You have much to learn.
You mention 3 very good looking celebrities. Not quite on the same level. Age is definitely relevant when it comes to men. Its one thing if you are fucking girls that are younger, totally different if you are making sexual comments about their bodies at parties.
Confidence is often defined by first impressions. It's based on your mannerisms, the way you speak, your hand shake, the way you dress and the people you associate with. To be confident you must fake it till you make it.
I'd say the difference is more that arrogance is unjustified confidence. I detest Floyd Mayweather, but I wouldn't say he's arrogant just for saying he's the best - he's right.
There may also be element of mean-spiritedness with "arrogance", beyond just touting your own abilities, also treating others as weaker or lower, and without respect. It's that lack of respect that makes Floyd arrogant.
But I'm not sure. It's an interesting question, I'll have to think about it.
Use them to game other girls. You will look more attractive when seen with these leeches
The chosen choose themselves. Good to see you are choosing you.
Hit it hard, do work.
Raised by a single mother here, I agree. I always felt weirdly empty when U wasn't working on improving myself, but assumed having a gf/wife/ family was what I was missing. Once I dealt with the mess that was my last relationship I realized how poisoned I was by her raising methods.
I don't believe any child should be raised by a single mother, but given the social climate, I am outright against a boy being raised by a single mother. Women just don't understand men for the most part.
It actually gets to the point where it becomes hard to find a reason to want to be around them. I used to look forward to seeing certain girls and now I just don't care.
You wanna go back to your place? I don't care.
You just grabbed my cock in a bar? I don't care.
I ask you out and you reject me? I don't care.
You want help with blah blah blah. I don't care.
I really just don't care about them, there's nothing interesting about them. The instinctual need for sex has become a nagging annoyance I satiate with reluctance, anger, hostility, impatience.
Which as we all know is exactly how girls really want to be fucked.
Which then tells you that THEY WANT you to hate them. Which is a whole new 12 levels of fucked up and you hate them even more.
I wish I could rinse, repeat.
Women like the behaviours of men that hate them but hate the idea that men would hate them. Disconnects like this are why I don't encourage a woman to think, her intuition will always win.
Nothing good comes from a woman thinking. Who told you to think ?! Every thought is just power for the hamster and word they spout is just another obstacle to the task at hand, getting to the pussy. Even knowing their own nature fucks with their heads. Their entire sexual strategy requires them to be intellectual zombies to be as effiecient as possible and manipulate without cognitive dissonance. Introspection, access to the truth is a hindrance.
They were designed to follow the feelz and tingle compass, bouncing around like a pinball machine. They were designed for penetration and task delegation, not much else (though they are capable of more if they try). But women and society try to convince you otherwise.
Men were designed to be level headed and handle them properly, as if they were children (they are). Any man whose fucked a girl senseless knows that within every woman, is a child. It becomes emotionally reliant. It gets clingy. It throws tantrums. It feels entitled. It cries for ridiculous reasons. It wants its daddy. It's really cute to witness, especially when you were the mastermind behind the whole experience and knowing what comes next. "Ah, a woman being a woman. Nothing new here"
"It's okay sweety, come to daddy. Bend over and let me bang all those dumb thoughts out of your head. Let me give you a break from all that evil thinking."
That disconnect from reality is the core of what I hate most.
"I want you to behave as though you hate me, while loving me" - Bitch, you are broken.
I agree, putting the pussy on a pedestal is not a good thing AT ALL. And yes, some girls are fucking boring and make you want to slit your wrists talking to them (lol.. but srs..)
HOWEVER, a lot of girls I know are fucking hilarious and a lot of fun to hang around. IDK where this idea comes from that we literally have to HATE women.
Red pill theory is like a pendulum. Before it, you are too pussy, constantly putting women above yourself to the point where you are awkward an unnatural, then upon joining TRP, people do this total 180 shift, and just demonize women. If you REALLY want to be happy, you need to find a balance between the two.
I don't hate women at all. I'd be lying if I said I'm not feeling anger & some strong resentment towards them because I've basically been misled & lied to my entire life, but I don't hate them. I realize they are what they are and aren't going to change. It's just jarring to wake up one day and realize the reality you've been sold is completely false.
That's my point though, you don't need this 180 shift that's like EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN TOLD IS A LIE!!!!
Find a balance between being more assertive and dominant, but still being able to have a certain level of respect for SOME girls. Yeah, there are the girls out there who deserve none, and you should treat them as such. Likewise there are girls out there who are chill af and will be the best "wingman" you could imagine.
Balance my friend
This--there are women I've known in my life who are genuinely good people, though to be fair they did come from hardcore RP cultures. Good women are everywhere, but screening for them is extremely important.
Went out on a date with a woman tonight. She does not play sports, she sells labels for a living, she could not flirt, and she chewed with her mouth open (practically like she was about to spit it out at you). She talked about how she wished she lived with her parents because sometimes she is too lazy to cook or do laundry.
This is our world now gentlemen, proceed accordingly.
The human condition is enough to interest me. Every single person that you meet has had a whole world in which they've grown, lived, thrived, struggled, and are trying to figure out. They all have different experiences, goals, fears, stories, jokes, and personalities that are at least subtly different than every other person you've ever met, and yes that goes for women too.
I realize that you are probably going through the anger phase right now, and you are pissed because all of these "basic bitches" were using you and you didn't realize it. Keep in mind that they were using you because it is their nature and not because they have some evil mindset. It's just how they've been conditioned, the same way that you were conditioned to be an orbiter.
If you need to hold on to the anger to motivate yourself, then absolutely use that anger and monk mode to motivate yourself, but at the end of the day you shouldn't be mad or blame women. Women are pretty awesome, and if you don't think that then maybe MGTOW would be more suitable for you. Women can be amazing, but a lot of them need a leader of a man to bring it out in them.
That's a sad and angry statement.
I agree it's sad and angry, but that's exactly how I'm feeling.
You'll get past it eventually. Don't buy into the dislike that people on this subject have for women. That's the worst part about this sub. Women are fantastic in a different way than guys are, but they are also just a varied. There are smart ones, dumb ones, ones that like to have adventures, ones that ride motorcycles, climb mountains, play video games, and everything in between. Use what you learn here in order to get closer to women and understand them better, not to make you bitter because they aren't who you thought they should be.
Take a time out to work on yourself and just be mindful of your interactions with women. Don't blame them, just observe them, and you will learn how they operate. There's an old saying that guys want a woman to love them like their mom does (unconditional and accepting of weakness) and women want a guy to love them like their father does (protect, provide, and give direction). It may be hard or impossible to find the motherly unconditional love that you've been looking for, but you can absolutely find the respecting adoration that a daughter shows her father. That's a pretty good consolation.
I'm on board with TRP, MGTOW etc etc. actually i'm 125% on board with it. This thread does seem a little like a circle jerk, but then again what subreddit isn't? What i'm trying to figure out is.. yeah fuck women, dont need them etc.. but what do you do when you wanna fap? I mean you see a hot ass model what do you do?
NoFap seems like a cult but the general idea behind it is in the right direction but just a little extremist
same with TRP there is a lot of extremists, TRP/we are no different than black women who say 'im independant i dont need no man' men are this and that basically feminists... I agree with TRP but it's turned into HATE women, when you SHOULD be like women have 0 effect on me. I dont hate them, I hate there ways sometimes but when you turn into an angry mob ready to put women's heads on a stick.. you get criticism from the rest of Reddit
Again, i'm not a feminist lol I love The Red Pill, they have the right idea but the hivemind is more hate women than actually putting yourself above women. People only say what they think will get upvotes, not what they actually believe
BRING THE DOWNVOTES.
Fantastic man, looking forward to hearing from you in an update post several months down the track too
You're ahead of the game just by being aware. At 21 my head was still full of romantic bullshit. Fuck that noise. Welcome to reality.
Just remember there are male bitches out there too; I'm an artist and every time someone finds out I see their eyes light up and the wheels turning as they try to rustle up some way to get you to do something for them for free.
"Hey, can you help me out by drawing xyz.. " from some guy, and "Hey, can you buy me a drink.. " from some female feel exactly the same. Your new awareness will help you avoid being taken advantage of in general.
Try not to give into hate too much. Bitches can't help being bitches. The mindset you're aiming for when dealing with them is somewhere between nonchalance and amused.
Try to have some fun with it. It's annoying enough seeing the way men are viewed by women and the media, so try to laugh it off as much as possible in your private life.
Your revenge is not depending on them at all and living your life.
found this site around early june at age 18 because I wanted to be a lady-killer but found this to be the thing that turned everything around for me. ever since I digested this it's been no going back. its gotten to the point where I see women as a running car without the hood on it. so predictable, yet they swear up and down that they're different when the only thing that sets them apart is the color. glad I found this when I did, because this is truly one of the last bastions of manhood left in this society we live in. #EnjoyTheDecline
This my friend is the sign right in front of the path to true self improvement.
One thing to remember on your journey is that no matter how many partners these women in your life have, YOU ARE STILL BETTER THAN THEM. The reason is simple. All these girls have to do to attract is open their legs willingly. Do you know how little skill/personality that requires? The answer is next to none.
It's important to remember this because a lot of these women will try to make you feel like less of a man (by displaying their sexual prowess) just in order to get you to spend even more time and validation from you! A lot of the time it's even super subtle ( ex. showing up to work with an obvious hickey on her neck, etc. ). Best thing to do is be on the lookout and hold frame like a boss.
A very healthy and truthful revelation to have. If you just observe how most of the women are without the sex appeal, you'll pretty often find that there is nothing of value to them. They have nothing to give you apart from sex and sexual gratification can be achieved with porn and masturbation. Of course they and the white knights will try to shame you for doing that but who cares.
I'm pretty sure that if the sexual attraction wouldn't be there, men wouldn't have almost anything to do with women. Of course women would still need resources from men.
It's perverse when men who want to explore and innovate look to women for support/guidance.
While men and women do benefit from each other's existence, we only benefit the other by succeeding in the path unique to our gender.
You got to let them know what kind of MAN you are so they know what kind of GIRL to be. (MAN: leader GIRL: follower)
Nah, it sounds real. Welcome to the red pill.
OP...don't worry. It gets better with age. I never believed that saying but honestly, after turning 30, my mind has changed in what seemed like over night. I now can laugh when I get rejected because I have tons of women eye fucking me all the time. Granted, those women are normally in the 28-40 range but none the less, pussy is getting thrown at me. I'm not even that great IMO. Maybe a 7 on a good day, 175lbs, 6'. I do work out so I am not fat at all. More of a slim frame but you can tell I am in shape. Receding hairline and all. My main chick is 27 and I constantly get to laugh when she has to stare down competition. I have even told my main that line from Patrice Oneal show..."It's not you against that one slut....it's you against all the sluts". She now understands this saying now that we have gotten older. And what's great is that I am in more control of my "horniness". But this could be that I have a couple regulars so I have that abundance mentality. But then again, I wouldn't even be bothered if I didn't have regulars. I would still be good to go.
My wife of 20 years just had an affair with an alpha at her work. She used to talk so much trash about this place and the guys that frequented it. She was to dumb to even realize she proved everyone here right. I see the light and I am working at a record pace now to catch up. I look forward to the rest of MY life now.
The only guys I know who think women are "really boring" are gay.
Just sayin'.
dudeeee.. i feel your pain man, i cringe when i look back, DUDE I USE TO APOLOGY FOR SHIT I DIDN'T DO! lol. was so pathetic man, but " was blind but now i see! " now see women for what and who they are.
See I don't understand this sub. We preach about taking women off of a pedestal but then we try so hard to fuck them. Seems an awful lot like we value them.
If your main goal for self improvement is to fuck woman then you will never stick with it. This is a point that separates men that have truly digested the pill.
Then apparently this sub is made up of 99% of people who have not truly digested the pill, as you put it, because 99% of this sub's content revolves around improving yourself in order to fuck women.
Self improvement for yourself alone is more of a MGTOW idea.
I'm trying to improve solely for myself. It's just that I realize when I do make these changes, getting laid will become something that happens much easier for me.
None of the posts I read say 'Go out and lift, read, eat clean, improve your job prospects and maybe you will be able to improve enough to be able to fuck that girl'. All the ones I read are about improving yourself, for yourself.
I guess maybe it depends on your own interpretation and what you personally want to take away from TRP.
My goal is to get myself to the point where I don't have to go to great lengths to get laid. I feel like for most men, the best version of themselves will have women throwing themselves at them.
But getting yourself to that point, in and of itself, is going a great length, no?
I don't mean that you have low SMV, I mean that merely admitting that you're willing to change yourself for a woman is enough to say you've put them on a pedestal because it means they are worth it.
If you work harder to earn money to buy a better car do you have cars on a pedestal or do you just want to enjoy a nicer car? Dudes don't suddenly lose their sex drive and go gay because they've learned about bitches, they learn not to suck up. The mere want to fuck a woman is not equal to pedestalisation, they are distinct. Wanting to fuck a chick is healthy behaviour, thinking she's perfect because of it isn't.
No, you do it because you are worth it. Recognising that sex is a need is not the same as pedestalizing the women that provide the sex. I need protein, so I buy a steak. I don't put that steak on a pedestal and worship it, it's only a steak. I throw that sucker on the grill and enjoy it. Plenty of steaks out there. So with women. No need to worship at their feet, but no need to avoid them either. Enjoy them for what they are good for (sex, but some women are good for more than that), enjoy your male friends for what they are good for, enjoy your meals, your business, your hobbies and interests.
Since sex is a need, working out rationally what will fulfill that need is not ceding power. TRP says it is the opposite, because women are attracted to men that have personal power and independence, and repelled by those that lack power and are dependent. Win-win, it seems to me.
The sex is a pleasant side effect of becoming a man. The PUA culture is what you're thinking of, with women as an end goal.
There's a difference between putting women on a pedestal and wanting to fuck them. It's about self respect.
also remember something. "The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men."
Eh, I think you're too specific in your title. Women don't have a monopoly on being boring. People, in general, are boring.
Good job finding this place, and good luck on the weight loss. Always stay positive and put yourself as the center of attention.
Oh, definitely. Think I realised that with the last girl I was with. She spoke a lot about her hobbies - how much she liked games, comics, books, etc. It was like drawing blood from a stone to get her to talk about any of that though. The only conversation topic with her was around her shitty part-time retail job, and the bullshit gossip around it. I didn't even fucking know these people.
The terrifying part was, she was studying science. Did she ever talk about it? Nope.
This resonates so much with me. Thanks for the write up.
Is this a thing? I've heard it mentioned a lot here on TRP but was curious if there was any actual science behind it? I myself was raised by a single mother and the stories we all share sound very similar. My childhood was fine for the most part. I had a place to live, plenty of food and I know she loved me and tried to provide for me the best she could.
That said, all of us have said around our early-to-mid-twenties we started to figure things/life out and we became much more successful. I'm curious if it's better to have been raised by a single mother or a two-person family with a BP father.
Its better to be raised by two-person stable family with a decently RP father than to be raised by single mother.
That's some straight up Netflix and ill, you. Great post.
I genuinely asked a 9/10 what she did with her life outside of work (worded more smoothly) but her response was eye-opening. " umm idk, i like to go out, and go places. And go shopping. These are womens hobbies people. (obviously not all of then.) but the tipping point for me was that a beautiful woman with what would seem to have a lot going on in life has nothing to do then "go places, see things". Men have hobbies, women date men with hobbies
In before horrifying weight loss advice.
Turns out you don't need to lose 70lbs.
10 Lose 10lbs.
20 Decide if you need to GOTO 10
30 Huzzah!
21 years old?
Oh boy, you're in for a ride when you get older.
Very true. Finding exceptions to that rule is very difficult.
And where has this new revelation taken you?
No need to read anymore than that mate.
Love the username dude it's always sunny is my favorite show
Exactly what I've been feeling. A plate of mine, who I explicitly told from the very start that I was not interested in anything serious, started pressuring me more and more about why I did not want to put a label on our "relationship".
I told her there was no "relationship" other than that of two people who occasionally get together to "netflix n chill" and she got pissed.
Women just can't really offer anything I want from them aside from sex, so if I'm already getting that why should I give her anything more than sex for sex?
dude if you haven't met an interesting woman yet, you need to keep looking and raise your standards. Someone educated with an open mind. Jesus christ, get your head of your ass.
Man or woman, most people are boring, soulless sheep. They don't have to be that way, but that's the least uncomfortable way for them to live.
What sad pathetic individual reported this as (and I quote) "Hate Speech"?
Next step is to get rid of your BP conditioning which is still partly there. read the rational male (the books)
I'm sure it's been said before, but when you start getting laid a little more, and your anger starts to cool off, don't lose your discipline or motivation. This stuff will still be true, don't let your absence of anger make it any harder to buy into.
Ever since reading TRP, women have been sinfully dull. I remember in the way of the superior man, it mentions that females want to live through you, will always test your manliness, and will soften you with their girlish charm.
Perhaps I am synical, or have low testosterone, but I find it very hard to want to be with a girl. Like OP, I used to crave the attention of girls - but getting laid and not having to be an emotional rag have quickly taken any mystery I had assigned to the other gender... I have better things to do - and I don't know if my perception will change any time soon.
I'd up vote this thread more if I could. I was that>Summary - After a few weeks of reading TRP and letting the reality shattering information sink in, I no longer look at women the same way.
I'd upvote this post x100 if I could. I was definitely 'that same guy'.. great post
It's a sad truth. Women are so boring and uninteresting. No sense of humor, etc. Most can't carry a conversation.
Yeah your mom has nothing to offer to your life except the slit between her legs.
So, if they were reading XIX century novels, studying physics and playng Metal Gear Solid 5, would it be OK to put them on pedestal?
Good for you man. I can tell you from personal experience that working on yourself is the best thing you can do. More specifically losing weight. After losing 75 lbs my confidence skyrocketed, I felt so much better health wise, looked great, and women acted so much differently towards me. It's as if someone lowered the difficulty on romance. The night and day difference of how people in general treat you when you're in shape as opposed to overweight is astounding.
What I put on a pedestal was not girls, but the concept of love, believing that someday and with the right approach it would be possible (and desirable) to make a connection with a quality women.
"Not those vapid bitches" = my unicorn. I bet a lot of men here also came from this background.
Women are boring to you now after TRP, they used to bore me before finding it. Now I just don't expect anything more than sex and some small talk from them.