Summary

The following is something I just wrote up to better flesh out the car-analogy that seems to fit the dating world so well. I don't normally write things like this, so it may seem a little disjointed. No new concepts or groundbreaking RP ideas, just a story that puts a well known concept into a parable-like format. An as it is an metaphorical story, it does run quite long, so be warned.

Body

This is a story about a new car, and the girl who owned it.

When Tiffany turned 18 years old, her parents bought her something every young teenager looks forwards to around the time; her first new car. Her father was a successful cardiologist, and her mother was a well know interior designer. They decided to splurge and get Tiffany a brand new Lamborghini. Tiffany was shocked and delighted when they lead her out to the garage after her birthday dinner. She couldn't wait to show all of her friends and make them jealous. Before giving her the keys, her father warned her about making sure the oil was changed, all of the maintenance was done on time, to not drive it too hard or riskily. Her mother told her to make sure she kept the interior clean and to not spill things on the leather seats. She of course quickly agreed with a bright smile on her face, making a show of carefully pulling out of the garage to head to her best friend's house.

Of course when she got around the corner, she gunned the engine and sped down the road. Her friends were in awe of her gift as most of them were driving hand me down Ford Foci or at best, a Lexus. All of the boys in her high school immediately started taking a liking to her...and her new car. A few days later, while in the mall parking lot with several of her friends and their boyfriends, a man approaches her and tells her he's a car collector and makes an offer to buy the car on the spot, for $200,000. "This is in perfect condition, and a hard to find model" he says, "I would love to add it to my collection, and I can make the arrangements right now". Tiffany of course finds the idea laughable and tells him she won't be selling it to him, or anyone else. "Well, I understand that. But if you change your mind, here's my business card" the man says, and he walks away after handing her the card. She throws it in her purse and forgets about it.

Several years pass, and it's safe to say she took neither her father or her mother's advice. Tiffany drove the hell out of that car. Speeding everywhere, letting boys drag race with it, running over a few curbs here and there while texting. When Tiffany was 21, she got in her first accident. Nothing too major, but it did some front end damage and warped the frame. Her insurance had the body fixed, but she refused to get the frame repaired as she didn't want to have her insurance rise too much. Many years of spilled coffee (and not a small number of other adult beverages) stained the seats and the floors. There were scratches on the doors, cracks in the glass, dents in the fenders. And that's just the surface. Under the hood was a disaster. Years of only the bare minimum of maintenance had taken its toll. Those oil changes and tune ups she was warned to make sure to have done were of course neglected. The transmission was slipping, the engine was burning as much oil as it was gas, the fans, belts, wiring, brakes, and power steering were all broken or nearly so, and the odometer had passed the 200k mark a while ago.

Tiffany started noticing that her friends weren't so excited to ride with her anymore. No guys were asking to take it for a spin. The jealousy was long gone and her pride in her car gone with it. The straw that finally broke the camels back was her last accident. This time Tiffany ran a red light while coming home from the club. She was 28 now, long since moved out and had to rush home to get at least a few hours of sleep before work the next day. After the accident Tiffany was fine. The car however, was ruined. After having it towed back to her house, she sat in her room weeping about her situation. Then she had a bright idea. "Where's that damn card??" she screamed to herself as she tore through her old papers and boxes. She finally found it in a box full of old stuff from high school, shocked that she had even kept it this long.

The next morning she called that man she met all those years ago. She told him she had a Lamborghini she wanted to sell and what model it was, remarking that it was a $200,000 Lamborghini. "I'll come take a look this afternoon. That model is hard to find these days, and I've been looking for one for a while". But after had arrived and she opened her garage, the man was simply repulsed. As he did his inspecting, noting all of the damage, engine wear, scratches, dents, and the warped frame, he couldn't help but wonder how on earth it even still moved on its own. With a look of disappointment he finally told Tiffany "I'm sorry miss, but I'm afraid I can't give you $200,000 for this car. If it were brand new, sure. But with all of this damage, the mileage, the wear, it would cost me almost that much to restore it. I can give you $5,000 for it in cash right now, and that's only because I knew a few guys who might want to get some original parts off of it".

"What the fuck?!?" Tiffany shouted, her own disappointment rising as she realized the situation she was in. "You told me this was worth $200,00! It's still the same car! It's not my fault I had fun owning it. That's what cars are for. You can't expect me to keep it in some showroom for ten years just to make you happy! It was my car and I did what I wanted. Give me the 200 or get the hell out!" And so the man did. And 28 year old Tiffany was left with a busted, worn out, broken shell of a car that had once been a valuable classic.

I lied in the beginning. The story was not about a car. It was about Tiffany and the choices she made. She was given a precious gift by her parents when she was young. She was a beautiful young woman with a gorgeous smile, flawless skin, blessed with stunning good lucks from her parents that drew male (and some female) eyes in any room she entered. What's more, her parents tried to teach her how to take care of herself, how to live wisely and not make all of the wrong decisions. How when you are given something of tremendous value, it is important to protect that value because someday you might need it. And if you squandered it all, you will be left with nothing. But just as in the story, that advice was unheeded. Ever since she started having feeling for boys, and realizing they had feelings for her, she had one hell of a time with it. It started out with a few joints and a couple of beers at one of her first boyfriend's houses. The came the parties, the sneaking out, the trips to Cancun for Spring Break and New Orleans for Mardi Gras.

The first time she woke up in a strange hotel room with no underwear and no idea who the naked guy next to her was, she told herself she must have had the best night of her life. And so it continued along that path. On to college and frat parties, doing Molly and coke at music festivals, more clubs, more bars, and more sex. A LOT more sex. She had been with 3 college football players in one night, danced (and screwed) the night away with some rapper in a club in New York, had more FWBs than she can even remember all through college and after. She spent ten years running her body, her mind, and her soul into the ground at full speed with every depraved act she could imagine. All to chase the next thrill, all to get that rush from being wanted and desired by the people around her. And now Tiffany is 28 years old, has a child with a guy she hasn't seen in years, has skin that makes her look 50, has been with more men than years she's been alive. And she wants to look at herself in the mirror, just like she wanted to look at that car, and insist that she is still just as valuable as she was before all of this, when she was 18.

But there is one important factor she doesn't understand. In any interaction between two people, whether it's friends, employer to employee, boyfriend to girlfriend, and car buyer to car seller: both sides have a say. One person cannot simply insist that the relationship take place. Both have to find it valuable. One cannot sell a busted car if no one wants to buy. And one cannot have a meaningful relationship with someone who does not want the same with them, no matter how hard they insist and demand it take place. Just as the car collector was well within his rights to walk away because the broken Lamborghini was not worth his money, any partner is free to walk away from a relationship, or refuse to enter one, if they do not feel it is worth their time, effort, or emotions. No matter how much she wants it to be true, Tiffany cannot simply insist she is the same person with the same value as she was 10 years ago, not after spending those ten years squandering that value. And no man in obligated to play along and sacrifice his own happiness just to keep her fantasy alive.

Lessons Learned/Wayyy too long; Didn't read

Cars are a valuable item that can either lose value over time, maintain it, or even gain more value, depending on how they are treated. Women, and men for that matter, are very similar in this regard. When one spends years basically destroying themselves inside and out, it is simply unreasonable to expect to have the same value to others as you did before you ruined yourself. Women are woefully unaware of this and will frequently only start insisting on their own value after it has been wasted. The 27 year old single mom who constantly shit tests, wants to "take things slow", and has a mile long list of requirements in a man was the same 17 year old girl getting stuffed by Chad (or was it Brad?...idk I was soooooo drunk that night LMFAO) in the back alley behind a club after having met him 15 minutes ago. They give that which is valuable away for free, then charge full price for that which is worthless. And then get mad when no one is buying it anymore. And lastly, you don't get to decide what other people consider "ruined" for you.