Forgive me if this incoherent, I am weeping as I write this. I am a 24 year old man. I fell into dating an older single mother earlier this year. She cheated on me and when I tried to break up with her she called the cops and said I abused her. The cops arrested me without even asking me if it was true. I was bailed out and given a 60 day protective order to stay away from her. I ignored her countless text, emails, voicemails, handwritten letters left on my trucks windshield for 2 weeks. She told me if I met her she would tell the cops the truth that she made it up. I came over and she gave me to falsely dated letters of confession. We were driving down the road later that night almost to her house in a suburban neighborhood when she, out of nowhere, threw my dog out of my vehicle, jumped out and ran to a random house screaming as if I was trying to rape her. This was right in the middle of a civil discussion, completely by surprise. The cops arrested me again for violating the protective order. Jail again. My state appointed attorney told me to accept the plea deal. 8 years probation, 250 hours of community service etc, and that I'd have 30 days to change my mind and think about it. He lied. I had 30 days to appeal and the judge has to decide if I can get my day in court. Hired good attorney for 7500 dollars to appeal. Judge takes it under consideration for 2 weeks and I get a call not 2 hours ago saying the motion is denied. I have a mountain of evidence showing I'm innocent. I am an army veteran with no prior criminal record from a good relatively wealthy family. I had a good future in front of me. I don't know where I am going with this. I just had to get this off of my heart. I have a felony on my record now and my future is ruined without ever even having a day in court. I don't know what to do.
I am going to suggest something crazy, but hear me out. I think you should contact an animal rights group about what she did to your dog. This could potentially get the "pussy pass" on your side, women love animals. You need to press charges for the animals suffering, as any criminal charges will help in a civil suit. Then you civialy sue the hell outta her for everything at once, the dog, and the false claims.
Brilliant idea even if it doesn't work. The reason is that it doesn't cost OP anything, so even if it fails he has lost nothing.
Why would she admit to throwing the dog out of the car, she has lied about everything else.
She doesn't need to admit to it, she just needs hordes of angry animal rights activists blowing up all her social media and work.
This could definitely backfire. It could be seen as a man who has pled guilty to a felony trying to harass his accused, or shine a spotlight on your conviction in the public eye.
If he is already considering leaving the country, how much worse could it get?
As soon as someone puts the law on you, you must sever all ties because that person is your enemy for life.
Additionally, the system doesn't care about the truth; it cares about having fresh meat feed on.
If you do have a bunch of documentary evidence that she made the whole thing up, you'll need to keep working the system until your name is cleared. Hire a private detective if you have to. If your family has money, this shouldn't be as much of an issue than if you were poor.
If you're poor, you simply cannot afford to be this stupid, because this kind of mistake could set off a chain of events that can put you behind prison for life.
The best lesson I have ever learned is: if someone involves the law in a matter, never try to de-escalate the amount of law involved.
If someone has their lawyer contact you, you don't answer until it's your lawyer responding (even if the situation is still amicable or business). If someone calls the cops, you embrace them and refuse to deal with the person without a police witness. If someone takes you to court, you countersue instead of trusting their promise to "drop the case".
No matter what the situation, going from a high-law, high-evidence environment to a low-law, low-evidence one is likely to get you into trouble. OP violated a court order (law) on the strength of a personal promise (not law).
I'm not sure I've ever spoken to someone who had previously made a legal threat against me.
This is the big thing to note. We are hearing his side of the story, but this is presumably a fact, and reeks of stupidity on OP's side. Makes him look suspicious, and above all makes him a man who violated a court order.
If he had an ounce of dignity or brains, he would've taken any evidence of her trying to entice him for a meetup to his attorney to make his case that much stronger.
I think OP should take his story to the news media. There are huge chances that this woman has done the same shit to other men. Public shaming and Public opinion might also be a way to go and also work out as it will put pressure on the judge. At this stage there are no legal avenues that will be fair towards OP.
the media will always take the woman's side in any case, no matter how sympathetic the man is. Just look at mattress girl. It turned out she lied about the whole ordeal and the media just swept it under the rug.
That bitch that carried her mattress around her campus? That was a lie?
I always thought that bitch was dumb as fuck. what an attention slut.
Why would you carry a mattress around anyway? If anyrhing it slows you down and tires you out so you cant defend yourself as easily and gives you a convenient bed to be raped on in the event she actually was assaulted
What is a police witness and how does one normally get one ?
I don't think it's a formal concept, but you can call the police (non-emergency, preferably) and tell them you're uncomfortable with the legality of a situation and would like them to clarify/be there. They might say no, but in relationship matters they'll often do it (like accompanying someone to pick their stuff up from an ex's house).
For a non-relationship example, I got in a minor car crash. The other person called the police, and then immediately started grilling me on whether I was drunk, texting, registered on the car, or anything else that would make the incident my fault. I very politely told him (over and over) that I didn't want to go through everything twice, and we could handle all those matters when the police arrived.
An interesting thought - if I couldn't get the police to witness something, I might challenge the other person to go sit in front of a notary with me for the conversation. You can simply pay them for their time, and they're a trustworthy person to subpoena if the issue goes that far.
Women do this all the time. My ex wife got a protection order against me to get me out of the house when she filed for divorce. Cops came to my house to escort me out of my own home, and their advice was very clear, she will try to contact you, text you, tell you you can come over to pick up your stuff. Women do this all the time, and once you text her back, you've violated a court order and are under arrest. You go to pick up your things when she tells you you can come by and the cops are waiting there to arrest you. The cops are telling me this is what I should expect. True to your advice, I disappeared for two weeks. The only people who knew where I was or how to contact me were my parents and my lawyer. Don't trust anyone when it comes to the law except your lawyer. The system only wishes to chew you up.
Hitching off the top comment.
OP, take a deep breath. You've already fucked up, and panicking is not going to fix anything. It's not over.
First, stop any contact with this woman now. If she keeps trying to leave notes or call you, get a restraining order against her. Do it the FIRST time she tries. She is made of radioactive poison and must be kept away. In fact, I would try to get an order now. See what your attorney can do. The civil matter is separate from the criminal one, and mutual restraining orders are very common. Courts recognize that two people can be a bad mix even if only one of them gets criminal charges. Get that restraining order.
Second, you're not in prison, so you have a future, just a difficult one. Judge hasn't changed the terms of the plea, correct? So eight years probation makes you 32 when it's over. Barely older than me. Once that comes around, start talking to a lawyer about getting your rights restored and your record cleaned up. If you're careful, you could be free and clear by 34, which is younger than when many men here get divorced and force-fed the pill.
In the meantime it will be difficult getting great employment, but by no means impossible to make a decent living. Resist the temptation to drink or do drugs; find a support group if your emotional state gets too bad (many churches group therapy/support sessions for free, and you can always talk to a priest even if you're not one of the faithful). Be careful to abide by the terms of your probation. State law may have some quirks, so read those on your own in addition to taking advice from your lawyer. Every state makes its statutes freely available to read, so go look it up and write down questions for your lawyer. You're on a computer now, so your probation can't include a prohibition against using the internet. You can still take online college courses, still do online freelance coding, so you can start building a career in computer science without too much trouble.
Take a day to soak it all up, but no more than that. Don't fall into the mental pity-party trap. That's how you end up three years from now, drunk or in prison. Start getting shit together tomorrow no matter how crappy you feel. Stop fucking up your probation right this second, get that woman legally bound to stay out of your life, and get to work making ends meet for the next few years. The first year is the hardest, so if you can beat that, you can beat all of them. Look forward to getting your rights restored at the end. The system is designed for people who fake being reformed, so it will fight you nearly every step, but it is not impossible to overcome.
^ This. As soon as someone appeals to the authorities they become an adversary/enemy. Treat them as such. This means covering your ass at all times because as OP showed you can be in the middle of a civil conversation and the person can just go absolutely batshit and throw dogs out of cars and run off to a random house. This is doubly true for women because of the 'women are wonderful' effect and how well they can screw you in the system by crying a few crocodile tears on the stand.
Yep, ties needed to be severed as soon as the order was put into place. Many guys seemed to get nailed on the protective order violation. The female faces no consequences of initiating communication with the male, but for the male to reciprocate there are dire consequences. I have doubts about the IQ level of OP, because by being in her physical presence while the order was intact,he effectively handled her his balls and freedom on a platter.
If you are poor you cant afford to be stupid. Thank you. Inspiration right there
That is the best, most accurate legal advice that has ever been given on this message board.
Jesus fuck sweet dreams "Land of the Free"
Wtf happened to the US...
OP: best of luck with this.
Hopefully this is enough to exonerate you.
Everyone else:
Once she starts with any sort of violence / threats / blackmail / false accusations - she gets cut out of your life and you never ever spend a moment in her company again, especially in private. These things never get better, they always escalate. Anything that looks like apology / confession / reconciliation is just another trick to play on you.
Seriously... that shit starts and you get out and you stay out. Supervised recorded visits only, for your own good. The world (police, courts) will believe a crazy deranged woman over a decent honest guy if she says anything that fits the narrative of "women are perfect and men are abusers".
Do not violate any protective / restraining orders, obviously. This is just playing into her hands and giving her complete power to report you.
Also... don't break up with a girl in private... expect the backlash and most of all do not be in private with her afterwards where she can make up a rape / abuse story. "I wasn't there and I can prove it" is the best defence.
Again - good luck, OP.
Also wait 3 days since your last intimate session before you break up so she wont be able to use discarded bodily fluids as evidence of rape
and when she starts to go batshit crazy, record her. remember Carlos Cortez a dallas judge who recorded his girlfriend throwing herself out of a moving car so that she could say he pushed her out. https://youtu.be/op4scME3Ym4 forward to 6:40 sec to see that shit
and he lost his reelection bid
This here's some mighty fine advice.
What's the benefit to breaking up with a girl? You can accomplish the same effect by blocking her phone number and social media accounts. Then wait a couple weeks and she'll figure out what's up.
I saw a quote from BojackHorseman the other day, it was quite good. I can't remember it exactly so I'll paraphrase. "If you wear rose-tinted glasses, red-flags just look like flags"
No single moms. EVER. When people tell me, "I just fuck them, what could happen?" I just want to choke them. Single mothers just have a much higher potential to be a whack job. I'll bet there were lots of other warning signs you ignored, of course.
Also, I knew what was coming when I read "order of protection." Dude, oldest trick in the book. Get the order, then lure you into a meeting and bam! No matter what reason you provide, you violated the order and you're screwed.
I don't really know where you go from here. I would definitely sue the first attorney, though.
Yea, I've gotten in a situation over single-mothers. Met at work, she was 7-years older, I was 21 but she had a big round ass and a raging sex drive. I was constantly ignoring warning signs, shit even her mother would tell me she had 'attachment problems' and all this shit. All ignored. 6-months later I was sitting in court over 'telephonic harassment' charges and her trying to insinuate i'd molested her 3-year old daughter. She didn't show at my arraignment, she didn't show at the first court date and she didn't show at the second. Between bail, impound and missed work for about 5 days, I was out a few grand. Though I count myself as lucky though that that molestation shit never caught traction. I swore off single-mothers. Never stick your dick in single-mothers.
Dude you fucking dodged a whole mess of bullets. Damn son you lucky. I thank god I haven't had this shit in my life though it's gotten close.
They're fucking scum. They have NO problem ruining their own child's life? You think they'll be civil with you? Ha.
This is my personal list of women I avoid
single moms: EDIT: here is why. IF it is not daddy issues it is either one of these. Alpha widow, crazy Ex boyfriend, the mom herself is the crazy one, kid problems, if she has daughters best stay the fuck away from them , if you break up with her she could easily accuse you of molesting her kids, there is no time for doing anything because kids, ex husband/boyfriend/ex in law issues, etc.. and always wear a rubber with them before you end up on an episode of maury and never be left alone with their kids.
Girls whose mom divorced their dad and she "raised" them.- They have no father figure in their lives. usually find all their sisters are single. they are raised to believe men are evil and commitment is a sign of weakness. When one gets a boyfriend they make it a "it is either him or us" thing. Same with the divorced mother, she guilt trips her daughters into you are having fun while she found happiness in being a spinster shit. These girls make the worst kind of girlfriends. They are conditioned not to respect men. Give your heart to a man and he will shit on it. If you find a single girl early to late 30's who spends an unusual amount of time talking to her mom on the phone about everything including your sexual escapades.. move on
control freaks- a woman who wants to control your every move. these women usually have anger issues. stay away. how to know you have bagged one, when she gets mad at you for following the GPS instructions to go somewhere, when she "knows" a better and faster route.
women who berate, insult or belittle people. it is just a matter of time before it is you. How to spot one. If you see her talk shit to her family member and treat him badly or gets mad at a stranger for a small reason, like a waiter.. one day it will be you she talks to like that. Her kindness and gentle nature towards you is just a facade to rope you in.
narcissists, it will never be about both of you. Selfies galore, move on..
Women who treat pets like children. Reality is her dog is more important than you.
loud violent and mean women. aka ratchets.
leeches and gold diggers. she never buys you anything, she never pays for anything, all her money somehow finds its way to her mom's account to "support" her...
women who think that the mere fact you are fucking them is a heavenly gift. Do not participate in mutual sex. Expect their pussy licked, never give blowjobs. use sex as a tool for manipulation in relationships. Lie like a fucking log when being fucked, DOESN'T do doggy and you can forget about anal...because her daddy raised her to be that special snowflake that is one of a kind.
and most importantly, never date a rebound. They are the most unstable and have psycho tendencies. They are extremely manipulative in grooming a man to think that he is the one. Slowly the psycho leaks out and the man realizes he is a shadow of what she wants. Her inner hamster has slowly raised the Ex who dumped her to godlike status. Every memory exaggerated and makes her heart flutter. Somehow, you keep bumping into her Ex when you are together, she takes you to places and do things she used to do with her ex. She is the worst kind of woman to date especially if she has been alpha widowed, she will drop you like a turd in water. And then you are left wondering.." didn't she constantly complain that her ex used to cheat and beat her up???"
and one last honorable mention. girls who only have guy friends. Those famous words, women are bitches, i dont get along with them and only have guy friends. Reality is that she like surrounding herself with men who lust over her. 90% of them being white knights. Women constantly judge each other and her avoidance of this is so that she can remain in her little bubble where she is not accountable to any female standards like working out to look good in a bikini or treat a man right. Any sign of problems in your relationship and she is out with her "friends". it is a female version of abundance mentality. You are lucky to have me. These women usually have beta boyfriends that think they are the lucky one who conquered her. Reality is that you are merely just a plate to her. if you are that guy that comes home to find your SO "chilling with a bunch of guys".. yes it is you i refer to. You are just like the ramen noodles broke college kids endure till they move up and eat sushi. Don't be ramen noodles guy..don't!
EDIT: Grammer
So you want me to avoid 80% of women in the USA?
You should be avoiding (filtering) way over 80% already.
Dude I wouldn't touch 95% of women in their twenties, let alone women as a whole.
[permanently deleted]
Hey if you want to play Russian Roulette, feel free. Just try not to die on a public sidewalk. Having to step over a rotting corpse when going about one's day is inconvenient.
Nope, avoid ALL American women. Seriously FOBs are better than this shit. US women. Are conditioned to be disrespectful
I'd argue that most of them are more encouraged to be disrespectful, imho. Disrespect is a tool against the Patriarchy!
This is a good list. A few items that are conspicuously missing (and we could probably easily make this list hundreds of items long):
women with horses.. that is so true.
Rita Crundwell manipulated to what is the biggest municipal fraud in the history of America. Whe was the treasurer of Dixon Illinois and embezzled $53.7 million from the city of dixon over 22 years to support her quarter horse breeding operation. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rita_Crundwell
The city had problems with roads, police, wages, social services. She did not care about any of that. She was caught after going on vacation and a substitute looked over the books. Funny thing is that the horse breeding made no money. Prizes for winning were relatively small. people always assumed she was making bank from the breeding that is why she was rich.
A crazy horse lady that was crazy enough to have a Wikipedia entry - now I've seen it all.
Thanks for the info, that's a fascinating read.
I had an ex-fiancee that fell under your first bullet point.
The scary part is that I was in the gallery for her day in court, and even after that I couldn't tell you if she fell into sub-bullet #1 or #2. Initially, I believed #1, but after going through the kangaroo court trial, #2 became a serious possibility. That episode was also very educational about the true nature of the US justice, I mean "just us" system.
There were other red flags, like financial problems, rage issues, and insulting me in public. I wrestled with leaving for a long time because it was my first super-serious relationship.
She also tried to get the law involved when I told her it was over. This involved making a lame attempt to frame me for petty theft.
I see posts like this and other horror stories around, and I am so glad I grabbed the eject handle and preserved my freedom.
I've been able to do things in my career and travel to places that never would have happened if I'd tied the knot with her.
It sounds like your ex fell under more than just one bullet point - she had an entire bunting of red flags.
Thank goodness you made it out relatively unscathed.
[permanently deleted]
it kinda of depends where you grow up, i have 2 cousines that grew up in a "farm" environment (it's still right in the city, more or less) that had horses and horseriding when they were younger.
And they were not batshit crazy and disrespectful lol :D
I think you just derived unicorn.
are you sure after this list you are left over with women?
I think they are called unicorns... :D
Good list mate.
I was about to say I think my last girlfriend checks off 7 out of 10 of those boxes. In fact, many of them are exactly why I dumped her.
It just occurred to me how being a 'unicorn' really, honestly shouldn't be all that difficult for most self respecting women to achieve. Yet they're so extremely rare these days.
they could if they had the capacity to apply logic.
They want the "feelz" now... and they are not the only ones like that... Even men have forgotten about Delaying gratification.
This is why TRP as a concept is very much required in life. You need to delay gratification right now to enjoy the life longer and make it more pleasurable.
I am learning so much from this comment alone
I fucking love you! You just hit the nail on some of the women that I have met, and even am currently noticing. Such a clear distinct way to realize this truth. Hear him out guys, this is 99% America right now.....granted even the eastern world.
Is this a thing? Do some girls really not take it from behind?
This should be made into a post. Solid list.
Sadly this is one of those things guys won't realize until they experience it first hand.
They're single mums exactly because they were so crazy and mentally ill and psycho that they forced the father of the child away from... This says everything you need to know about single mums
And god help you if it's multiple children from multiple men who didn't stick around!
That's not a fair characterization, sometimes the dad really is a deadbeat piece of shit. The reason single moms are precarious for dating is that they will always put themselves and their children before you.
I've been banging single moms for 20+ years without a single incident. 100% of them have been good people. Maybe I'm lucky or maybe I just can smell crazy..
I have fucked/date two single moms. One was batshit crazy, the other was just pretty fucking crazy. NEVER. AGAIN.
I have dated one single mom. Fuck me, she was a good person, not even remotely malicious and wasn't even interested in commitment. Lack of time was probably the only issue.
Hey, I've been running around on the highway without getting hit. Maybe I'm lucky, or maybe I'm just really good at dodging cars.
No you aren't crazy, you're actually intelligent and redpill. The single mom topic just exposes the younger clueless bullshit red pillers who don't have any experience.
On board with this opinion. I can understand single mother being a red flag, but not something that absolutely eliminates all possibility for you to fuck, or even be in a relationship with her. It's not as black and white a topic as people think. I guess it can be if you think that makes life easier for you, but you close yourself off from a lot of good girls who didn't really get much of a choice in the way their life turned out. Being a single mother doesn't make them lesser human beings unworthy of the same attention you'd afford someone without kids.
Yep. Most single mom's I've run across know they're damaged goods and even though they do stupid/crazy stuff still have good intentions, and truly want to create a good home life for their kids. I always am up front about not making it anything serious, and If they're older than 5 or 6 avoid meeting the kids like the plague. If she get it into her mind that she can convince me to love her, usually they will go above and beyond until it inevitably end after a few months.
All single mothers, at one point, had the choice to (A) Not have unprotected sex, and then (B) Have an abortion. Saying they don't have choices is misleading.
As if it's not possible to get pregnant with a condom. Some women, a lot of women, see abortion as just a step short of murder and wouldn't do it. A lot of women can't give up their child when they're born, that emotional attachment is deep, which goes without saying. Some choices really aren't choices to some people.
Independent of this, maybe a condom wasn't used, and the child was born to a faithful husband at the time who then cheated and she couldn't put up with it anymore, and now she has the kids. This is not uncommon. So now she's divorced because she made a choice to remove herself from a shitty situation and now she gets to deal with super redpill men treating her like a substandard class of woman because she has kids. Which is probably welcome to her. It shows her who to avoid.
It's not so black and white.
Same. I know we speak in generalizations around here, but the general rules are too often taken as universal rules. The truth is single moms are not to be avoided entirely. HOWEVER they should be put under the microscope from the beginning even more so than you normally would. Both of your points are partially valid, in my opinion.
I cannot and will not advise anything. But the Slav in me would retaliate disproportionately.
I always think about this concept right here.
I don't think it applies in OP's case - OP NEEDS to be calm and level headed - but yeah if all consequences are the same then do whatever the fuck you feel like. Piracy in the golden age of sail got a massive jumpstart from the fact that conscripted sailors were presented with a choice between dying to make their master rich or spending the rest of their lives marked for death.
OP: lawyer is your only hope at this point. Let's all hope you picked a good one.
Considering the fact that 1. he was in the army and 2. he met up with her in person despite being ordered to stay away, he sounds like an idiot, and I wouldn't count on him selecting a good lawyer.
lol
sad but true regarding point #2. It's SO fucking dumb to meet up with her when there's a court order saying not to - even if you get pulled over on a speeding ticket or something else you're fucking done.
of course I wouuld replace #1 in your post with DATING A SINGLE MOTHER, you're picking up confirmed damaged merchandise
last time i everyone disagreed and downvoted me when the person in the story was a single mother due to her husband dying, but it's the same shit. he died, she'll still want him, the kid will still like him, the kid will have a harder time viewing you as the father, etc.
why go through the extra hassle, risk, and headache of dating a single mother EVER when you can pick from so many non-mothers? I'll never understand
He was naive and was hoping for a reconciliation. Calling him an idiot is unfair. He hopefully has saved the texts and other messages and those will bolster his case. This was an expensive education for him. It should lead him right to The Red Pill.
I've said it many times here before, but as men increasingly become victims of a legal society that favors injustice towards men due to the mere anecdotes of women, men will take action outside of the law. Vigilantism always becomes warranted when a legal system is so corrupt that justice transforms into a foreign concept.
The problem is they commit suicide. If even 1% of men who are divorce raped or are victims of lies committed murder i am sure it wouldnt be as common
This is why I support Volkswagen 100%. Fucking with the computers to comply with batshit US emissions standards only when being tested was fucking brilliant and I applaud it 100%.
FUCK 'EM.
Actually it seems like that will transform into a wider tackle on closed source systems across the board. I'm rather interested in the prospect of not being whimsically put to death by satellite the next time that I visit home and am driving in a new car along the North West Coast of California. Just, its all good until some one or two seconds when I realize that actually its all fucked and my fly-by-wire car is putting me sharply over the weakly protected edge. As a CS major programmist for a living, how the fuck could that be considered fun?????
Drive-by-wire steering with Gov't mandated backdoor access. All whistleblowers will die.
Absolutely. This is in the same vein as a cashless society. At this point I don't trust any code that is not open source and verified by a large community. They already suicide enough people as it is.
I used to be a fan of Elon Musk, but the issue of how he is integrating his cars into the tracking and control grid makes him suspect of being part and parcel of the elite corporatist/globalists.
In for a lamb, in for a sheep, as the old saying goes. If one is going to be punished anyways may as well make it worth it.
See the proble with this line of thinking is, as far as the courts are concerned, he's already done the crime. Anything else he does will only add more time on top of what he has now.
[permanently deleted]
The “moral" of the story is that if society keeps pushing men as a whole like in the case of OP sooner or later someone will think “fuck it!, I'm fucked anyway might as well try to fuck things up, before everything gets fucked"
Although farfetched, most western men are feminized much more than they think, their mentality is so conformist “lawful" that the mere idea that going against the law government, etc, is something so inconceivable it's another matrix in itself, that even most people here in this sub are part of.
the slavs are alpha as fuq.
Yes, but, I can't think of anything that would be disproportionate...
I don't see the relevance. OP isn't facing fixed consequences. He isn't being executed. He isn't going to jail. The decision isn't even absolute. Appeals exist for a reason.
Only a slave would say that Chen was disproportionate in his response.
I wasn't saying that Chen was disproportionate. I'm saying I would be.
It was about the consequences being disproportionate.
As someone who recently wrote an article on Qin dynasty and how they helped shape the bureaucratic system for managing the population in China, I find this anecdote highly relatable to me.
As a cop, let me tell you this:
Never, ever, ever use a public defender or court appointed attorney. I don't care if you have to sell everything you own and hock your grandma's wedding ring. Hire a private defense attorney.
Most public defenders have a huge caseload and are more interested in getting cases off the books than seeing justice served.
As for suing your first attorney, good luck. Ever hear the saying "blood from a turnip"? If your first attorney was a public defender, chances are they are making less money than the cops who arrested you. As for contacting the bar association, again, good luck. The attorney will just say you made the plea freely, knowingly, and willingly. It'll be your word against theirs, and you're a convicted felon, so who do you think they'll believe, you,or one of their own?
Sorry to be such a downer, but based on my experience, I think you have a tough time ahead.
If anyone should take anything away from all this, it should be DO NOT USE A PUBLIC DEFENDER.
Yea... or maybe it should be cops taking more time to properly investigate these issues before just handing a DV case that hasn't been properly vetted off the the DA. You're here shitting on the public defender... the reality of the situation is had the police investigated properly, instead of just being the modern, neutered manginas, half the time these cases wouldn't even pushed. And those shitty public defenders wouldn't have so many cases in the first place.
They arrest based on what the woman says because they have to. It's not a fair system. If you are in a situation where the police are coming and there is no injury to the victim, get out of the house. If you're on scene, you will be arrested based on simple liability and probability that the victim will be threatened.
Let's be fair. Those cops have a lot of civilians to murder and evidence to plant. That all takes time. Do you think the drugs in evidence will sell themselves to the community?
is this legit advice or is this fleeing the scene of a crime?
You wanna bet? Not saying the cops did a great job, but unfortunately, the pendulum has swung, and most prosecutors aren't going to risk being labeled "soft on domestic violence". They'll still charge it, and hope the defendant gets a public defender and cops a plea, just like the OP did.
It's unfortunate, but that's the world we live in. Adjust, or end up like the OP.
Can't put a price on a good lawyer, most people would sell everything they have, max their credit cards, take out loans, etc if they knew they could go back and get a lesser sentence or walk free.
Those same people took the public defender or called around the yellow pages looking for who would take their case the cheapest and that's why they ended up getting fucked.
What's the difference between the guy who charges a $5000 retainer up front and a guy who takes a few hundred? Just your freedom.
As a lawyer, I second this. The public defenders / court appointed attorneys only do this because they can't get work from people who would actually choose them. And as noted, they are overworked and underpaid.
Dumbass! You should have collected the letters and notes, recorded calls, screencapped emails, and TAKEN THAT BEFORE THE JUDGE!
I dealt with crazy before, and she tried to drag me through the legal system. By remaining calm, civil, professional, and maintaining an unchanging story supported by evidence, it ended with HER being led out of the courtroom in handcuffs.
You should not have taken the plea deal. Bring your evidence to court and challenge this type of thing. The legal system is self-perpetuating and NOT interested in justice, just getting people in the system and having 1,001 ways to KEEP them there.
Not really related but...
I'm so glad I read this. I dont save as much as I need to. I figure it would be best to knock out my obscene student loans.
But this post has taught me the importance of saving money. How much did this whole ordeal set you back?
It cost me time; I didn't need to hire a lawyer, and one of my lawyer clients told me, "You're 20X smarter than you need to be to file a restraining order."
Not sure what state OP is in, but he should have contested the restraining order and filed a counterorder. THEN consider filing a civil suit over the false allegations.
[permanently deleted]
I did bring her text and emails. I even gave them my phone and did a phone dump so they could verify authenticity. They did nothing with it.
You need to present that with an attorney.. They can ignore you, they won;t ignore your lawyer.
Warning, if a chick hits you with a restraining order stay away and go to your lawyer. If she contacts you, go to your lawyer. Have them file the proper motions.
The cops have no incentive to give you exculpatory evidence as they would be seen and attacked politically by activists for not "protecting women enough". You the defendant have to prove your innocence.
Ah the good ol' days when you were innocent until proven guilty. These days, if you are a man, you are guilty until YOU prove your innocense.
wrong.
These days, if you are a man, you are guilty even if you are proven innocent.
I can improve on your improvement...You are never proven innocent-you were just let off because the police/judge/jury were part of the rape culture in your area.
Agreed. I hate that cops seemingly always take the woman's side, regardless of how I think things appear. If they don't do that, they'll probably be fired and replaced with people who will. It makes it hard to get too pissed at them individually.
Cops exist to make the state money. Prisons are for-profit, even the public ones. Cops may not have quotas, but they're required to rack up as many charges as possible for max profit.
Basically, the legal system is completely fucked.
You're just going to have to hope you can appeal it and get that evidence considered. Appellate judges tend to be much more intelligent than your run of the mill judges and attorneys.
Oh, and sue that first attorney for malpractice, and definitely call your state Bar Association. Not clearly communicating that you were pleading guilty to a felony and that it was an appeal and not a right of recision is grounds for being disciplined by the bar. They take this type of shit really seriously, give it a shot.
100% agreed.
His malpractice insurance might pay out to you enough to help cover the costs of pursuing the action and your defense
Killbutt_3_2's 2nd point; no contact orders go both ways. She violated the order and you have proof. That should be all you need to end this.
Depends on the state law. Here the accuser can do anything they want, the accused can't. Here its a misdemeanor, shouldn't be a felony. Hell I had a 3 day suspended sentence because the bitch copied something I wrote online and claimed I gave it to her.
If that's true, file a no contact order against her.
Even so, with that you can still file a harassment case against her, and the next time she'll contact you, which she will, no doubt about it, it will turn into a fellony. But your best option frm the get-go is to play her on being vangeful and stupid. Which she will be, no doubt about it, especially since she feels almighty powerful for outsmarting the system. I bet even a good selfie with a younger girlfriend will make her blood boil enough to do something stupid.
Have your attorney take it to the District Attorney who is prosecuting your case, NOT the police.
Consider making an affidavit (sworn, notarized statement) of the matters that took place. State clearly the course of events.
If you are keen on taking a plea deal, See if you can 1) avoid jail time, and 2) enter into a pre-trial diversion program where you can be eligible to have the charge expunged (not sure if available for felony in your state). Honestly I don't like plea deals where the actor is "innocent," so have your evidence ready to go. The truth has a way of coming out, provided you have a good attorney to facilitate that.
Also, this is not legal advice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VsikRkBmRw
Hope you get a judge like Judge Judy.
Never talk to cops. Never answer their questions. If you had initially refused to talk to them without a lawyer you would be in a much better situation now.
NEVER under ANY circumstances talk to the police for any reason.
This cannot be stressed enough
His entire case was decided when he met up with someone who has a protective order against him.
I have a friend who had a restraining order against him despite not actually doing anything. Bitch lied and said he abused her or something. One day he bumped into his ex's bf, shrugged it off, and told him he wishes them luck. The ex found out about it and he got arrested for "attempting to contact her via 3rd party". She spun it as him trying to send her message. Still fighting the case 2 years later
Is that an actual crime? Absolutely retarded.
In IL it is. I was in shock. Basically if someone puts a restraining order on you, you are basically putting yourself at risk for talking to someone that knows them. She can easily twist the words around and make it seem like you were trying to contact her. As a male you are automatically liable. It's a complete load of shit.
his fault for being dumb enough to even awkowleged his ex's BF. You guys need to learn how to move on
Your life in Slave Colony North-America is effectively over. Your chances of starting a successful slave rebellion are close to nil. Your best option is to pull a runner and escape the colony. China is nice. Thailand is nice. Cambodia is nice. South America is nice. There are many places a hard working slave can go where he can earn money as a free man, have free associations, and enjoy life by leaving slavery behind him forever.
Would he need a fake identity to travel there though? He's a Felon.
Lessons learned for this: #1 when someone files a restraining order against you (and this applies to those of you about to go through a divorce. Very common for your soon to be ex to get one) Do Not violate it for any reason. #2 Don't be cheap. spend whatever you have to hire a good attorney from the beginning. Your freedom and your future are worth the money!
I'm sorry.
Let this be a lesson to all men reading.
Don't involve yourself with single mothers.
Don't trust women.
As /u/bsutansalt has said about a thousand times, record everything. And I guess, since we're males, pray that the court will not dismiss your recordings as evidence.
This. I discussed this in another thread and a bunch of guys were telling me it was a felony in certain states and can't use in court and and blah blah blah when we were talking about being falsely accused of fucking RAPE!!!
Men please, for christ, your phones probably all have one touch record, just get in the habit of doing it when you are alone with a chick, or when you stumble on a crazy one who calls you constantly. There are apps that will record all your calls.
Who gives a fuck if it is illegal or can't be used? Send it to the news, the NY Times, everywhere, save yourself. I have no idea if OP is legit but his story is not uncommon, it absolutely can be YOU.
If you live in a one party consent state, I recommend the Sanity app. It's like $4. Protect yourselves.
No, he's saying even if you live in a dual-consent state, fuck it. Record it and publish/distribute it anyway. What the dude is saying is he'd rather get hit with an additional charge of 'wiretapping' or w/e they throw at him, so long as people know the woman lied, which could heavily pressure the state to drop the case (even if it technically isn't admissible in court). He'd rather have a wiretapping charge added just to weaken the rape allegation.
Linda Tripp's secretly recorded tapes of Monica Lewinsky is what destroyed Lewinsky's credibility and had her facing a perjury charge along with Paula Jones. Clinton would have very likely been impeached and then convicted of some form of sexual assault had those tapes not been leaked and severely damaged the credibility of the women and the resolve of the people trying to prosecute the case.
Like in top comment? What is the penalty for being late/What is the penalty for treason? Lucky for us the penalty for wiretapping is far less severe than rape.
Or, ideally, get a wiretapping charge instead of a false rape charge.
The first makes people think you're a weird guy obsessed with privacy/or that you intrude on people's privacy. Big deal.
The latter makes people think you are a threat to society.
Case in point: feminists are up in arms about rape culture, not about the NSA wiretapping.
ideally yes, but we're talking about dual-consent states in particular. In those states, if you divulge that information, it's likely to result in the addition of a wiretapping charge, but the other charges are likely to remain. At which point, it's up to the bullheadedness of the Prosecutor.
The crime of wiretapping is silly in the first place and is really designed for perverts using it to spy on people and politicians/governments trying to use it against their opponents.
Literally, one of the cases that made wiretapping such a big deal in the supreme court was that a criminal was caught on the phone talking about his crimes...
So it was like... his lawyer decided that he can't get the charges thrown out because IT WAS THE TRUTH... So he went to the supreme court and got the evidence thrown out for violating his privacy.
Basically privacy is a concept invented by criminals to protect themselves from THE TRUTH.
The Nixon administration was charged with many wiretappings because they had bugged their own offices and had recordings of their own crimes. They were charged for basically trying to protect themselves and because they confessed to their own crimes essentially on tape. The main charge was that they were spying on themselves (or any others who visit the white house) while claiming it was for national security.
Even a lawyer is going to struggle to explain how convoluted these cases are.
But suffice it to say, that wiretapping is about preventing the truth from getting out.
Anti-government people will use wiretapping charges to protect their criminal activities. Governments themselves will use wiretapping charges to arrest people recording their actions or criminal activities. It's a legal concept designed to persecute.
Why does reddit love privacy so much? Because so many of them are committing crimes on the internet that they are worried one day the cops will start recording all their dumbass reddit comments or will arrest them for buying something illegal online or for piracy.
You will even hear them complain that they are worried their "future political career could get ruined if they are 'recording the internet' " That's how absurd their worries are.
This is 100% true, laws like this are made to protect the guilty not the innocent.
People in power know they would be fucked if some asshole could just get away with taping all the horrible and illegal shit they say and do behind the scenes.
How insane is it that you can't submit evidence of your complete innocence? What kind of justice system is that?
That's why it is the "Just us" system, there is no Justice to be had. Record everything, video, audio, save all emails and texts, keep it when you get new phones or computers, never give up the data that can save your life.
I'd like to add onto this:
The risk of an unauthorized recording charge is more than worth being able to shred any plausible deniability the court can hide behind in order to grant a pussypass. They do it too openly and they risk consequences they'd prefer to avoid.
People don't seem to get that as they have been so indoctrinated to comply with force of law even when it is distinctly not to their advantage.
Bullies count on their targets meekly backing down. Be pragmatic and cautious when needed, but when backed into a corner, don't be afraid to go Pyrrhic. At that point, they have more to lose from it than you do.
IMO you shouldn't trust anyone unless you know they have no gain in what they are offering.
Full circle...
"Don't trust the White man!".
"Don't trust Men!".
"Don't trust Women!"
"Don't trust anyone."
Take any an all advice with the knowledge that the paradigm the advice is coming from has different sexual/economical/social background and perspective from you.
To be more specific in this case. A single mother has a child(ren) that she almost always undoubtedly says that child(ren) is her #1(2,3,...). As a single man with no kids you are going into a situation where the #1(2,3,...) Spots are taken.
Example when she says "I love you" does she mean I love you and would do anything for you?
Or...
"I love you, but not as much as myself, my baby, my dad, my mom, my cat, and I guess you can be #6".
I had to add the cat because in my super beta days I had a girl tell me she would probably love her cat more than she could love anyone else. She was childless. If anyone else does a lot of online dating there is more anecdotal evidence of girls that will pre-emptively put in their profile they WILL love their pets more than you.
Holy shit. I don't think there are many stronger red flags.
Idk man, I love my dogs more than I could ever love a women.
I don't usually upvote so hard, but I just upvoted you so hard.
There are a small handful of hot (still early 20's) single moms I could go after, but I've told my good friend I trust with RP insight, I don't see them as worth the risk. They just aren't.
Do we have anything to look forward to?
bitch threw your fucking dog? thats some shameful ass shit, that dog did nothing to deserve that.
You are the only one, in this thread, who cared about the dog. If it was my dog, I would hire someone to kill her in some mysterious accident that won't link to me.
I punch people in the face just for abusing the cats I feed in my neighborhood.
Dashcam, the Russians do come up with a good idea once in awhile. Someone help me here, couldn't you get away with smashing a bitches skull in the second she threw your dog out of a moving car?
I mean if you had the video evidence, isn't that temporary sanity? (oh sorry insanity) at the very least?
Guys guys, we all know OP fucked up more than once. Dated a single mother, broke protective order, went with the state appointed attorney etc. I know it, you know it, OP knows it. But whats done is done.
Let's work at the solution instead. What can OP do to get out from this mess and protect himself? Let's work at the solutions. I really feel bad for this.
Any lawyers who browse this sub willing to help OP?
Any people who have gone through this in the past have any advice to offer?
Mods, trp endorsed contributors anything to say?
Can OP sell everything he owns and move to another state or country?
If no solutions, how can OP keep damage to a minimum?
Welcome to the dark side, mate.
The most common held fallacy is that there is any justice to be had in the "justice" system. It's called that to give people the Feeling of justice... but it's really just the criminal court system.
You'd think that there is more justice in the criminal system being that the burden of proof is much higher than a mere preponderance, but logic is immediately thrown out when a sweet innocent woman enters the equation.
I actually do have sympathy for you. Shit's fucked up.
Definitely try another lawyer. If you have valid evidence, keep fighting this. Don't lay down and take this so easily.
He already pled guilty he is fucked
You're joking right? The way that the court handled your situation given that you have "mountains of evidence" pointing towards that psycho bitch lying about the entire thing should allow you to sue both her and the court for a substantial amount of money.
Find a good lawyer and present him with the same amount of evidence you presented the court and tell the lawyer he can have a large chunk of your winnings after you successfully sue the ever loving shit out of the court and that psycho cunt.
And if that fails and you're looking at jail time, make sure you fuck that bitch up enough to have earned however long you're going away for
He can't sue the court. he accepted a plea. He admitted to a felony in court, knowingly and voluntarily. It's OVER. He has to chalk this one up.
Not only that, he violated the previous court order. YOU LOSE.
Never, ever, under any circumstances, intentionally or unintentionally, violate any kind of restrictive order. If you did accidentally, call your lawyer IMMEDIATELY and ask for advice. (Tell him/her first, don't let them hear it from the prosecutor.)
Leave the city/town if you can. Seriously, protection orders are Get-Into-Jail-Free cards. If you don't care about jail, fine, you won't care, but if you are focused on self-improvement and building a good life those things are like cyanide. Run-fucking-run.
No joke. The (verbal, so you can't even prove it) invitation to come over isn't going to change the outcome of violating an explicit court order.
Fair or not, this is a case of "You're actually guilty, and you admitted it, try and mitigate the charges".
However, she did as well by getting in his truck.. She isn't supposed to make contact as well
The burden of not entering the restricted space is on the defendant, within reason (i.e. you can't violate a restraining order in your own home if the person doesn't also live there).
No contact orders mean she is not supposed to contact him. Going to her house was stupid, but getting in his truck was also stupid..
This dude needed to collect all the messages, all the texts, all the letters and present that to a judge. Show the judge that SHE is the crazy one.
He did not do that.
Yea, he was pretty dumb.. He should've recorded everything. They even make an app for that
Yeah...
This isn't about gender roles, an anti-male justice system, or anything else. Copping to a felony in a US court means you're going to end up convicted of something, end of story.
At this point it's all about determining the damage, especially since he technically did violate the protective order.
Yes it is. If it weren't for those things, OP wouldn't be in trouble in the first place.
He's fucking stupid, but the "women are wonderful" effect allows his stupidness to be severely punished, while allowing female stupidness to go unpunished, even if it's orders of magnitude higher.
I'm not promoting violence either... but listen to this man right here.
We can 'victim blame' as the SJW would say, which indeed we will to let others know just how bad your life can be. But if this man is truly innocent, then he should fight fire with fire and get a lawyer on his side to fight tooth and nail to see this woman is brought to justice.
Listen to the free legal advice given here, and godspeed. Hopefully you get some Lawyers who know a psycho cunt story when he hears one.
He's a felon, so he can't get a good job to earn the money to do that. At least not for several years..
He better hope that new law is passed and that it applies to his crime.
Can't sue the court. You could sue her, but you'll lose and probably be on the hook for her attorney's fees. All you can do is get help from friends to get a recording of her admitting fault. But first you need to check the eavesdropping/recording laws in your state, because in some states it's disallowed so the admission would be useless. Best of luck.
I'd step up the appeal to the state courts, use the evidence and hire a good attorney. If you're telling the truth, this is clean and clear obstruction of justice and perjury. Establish the case with the state and have the date set and then launch a civil suit for defamation/slander and emotional damages.
Go all out or go home.
This. Someone tries to destroy your life? Destroy theirs. Genders are irrelevant
What are the nuts and bolts? Kill her? Torch her insured car? Throw her kid off a roof? Dogshit on her porch? I mean, WTF exactly are you saying. The comment is uselessly ethereal.
I learned what "ethereal" means from Skyrim.
As soon as she called the cops on you, you should have cut all ties.
Sorry dude, you fucked up, time to move to another country and start a new life.
French Foreign Legion. Hear nice things about em.
I've considered it, but my mom has alzheimers and my dad recently had a stroke. My family needs me right now.
I'm sure you will do a lot for them in prison.
He's not getting any time on the inside, just a shit-ton of fines, probation and community service. That way the "justice" system can extract resources and not expend them on a clearly non-dangerous individual.
Great, so I am sure he will do a lot for his family as a slave.
Well, at least the ass-raping is metaphorical.
Basically he is just a bank account in a ruthless legal system.
I wish the best concerning your parents health
Holy shit. These stories make me want to invest in body cameras. smh this shit is despicable.
Even a dashcam would have prevented this bs.
The amount of bullshit that's preventable with recording device is insane
But everyone would be watching us (☉_☉)
You're an idiot, you let her use the justice system to ruin your life. Live and learn.
Get a lawyer. Don't have any interaction with the "justice" system, in any capacity, without a lawyer standing next to you.
Phew. Take that as your reminder that single-mothers aren't worthy of any self-respecting man's time.
CisWhite said it right. They are fucking scum. Beat your dick if you can't find another bitch. Don't give these shit humans that are destroying America good dick.
Unfortunately they reproduce like rats.
Never, ever, ever accept the plea deal.
Ever. You got a felony conviction without a day in court? Fuck that, always fight felonies.
Fucking christ m8 you've really gone fucked up.
/u/Oftowerbroleaning woman will destroy your life without a second thought only to feel good. This is the reason you can never trust a woman. If they feel good accusing you of rape, they will do it. It doesn't matter if you go to prison for 6 years, get anally raped every single day and get HIV ; If she feels good , she will do it.
What you are dealing now is terrible, but you will survive and get stronger. I wish you the very best of luck man. Single mothers are scum, the lowest of the low.
Wow I'm lucky I have a wife raised by a man that was repeatedly screwed over by women. She's a redpiller and will sit over my shoulder sometimes reading this nodding her head.
Why the fuck did you trust her to be civil? She had already proven that she'd lie to get you into trouble. You'll get no sympathy from me.
I don't seek sympathy. I just had to tell someone. I hate myself for being so fucking stupid
Good, now take that hate and turn it into something productive. Like appealing to a higher court.
Meeting with attorney tomorrow to discuss
Good. Good luck. In the meantime, don't go over to her house if she promises you some pussy and hotwings, huh?
But who could resist hotwings?
if he goes over to her house, then we know that he is trolling Red Pill.
Just move to asia bro, forget this shit and move on. Or south america. Go where the girls are young and the beer is cheap. Forget it all.
Tough to get a passport now, though.
Men have zero protection from this kind of insanity.
He's a felon with 8 years probation.
That is easier said than done, most places require FBI clearance or the local version of it(or both) to move there, if you set off a PING for a felony you are pretty much done.
Just move to asia bro, forget this shit and move on. Or south america. Go where the girls are young and the beer is cheap. Forget it all.
Or you could use the hate to shoot lightning out your fingertips
Use your aggressive feelings, boy. Let the hate flow through you!
[permanently deleted]
If there were more quality pussy available he wouldn't have gone back to her, or even have been with her in the first place probably.
That's the real problem.
Fuck no. Abundance mentality and DGAF. Never settle for pussy of this shitty quality. Sometimes getting no pussy at all is preferable to chasing dangerous pussy.
Yes its a Keynesian economic model flaw
I don't understand the relation here.
Word. Maybe this is a lesson you needed to learn.
This wasn't a lesson, this was a death blow. There's no learning from it, the damage is done.
That would be like me beating your brains in and saying I taught you a lesson. No, I beat your brains in.
Shit I knew women were untrustworthy animalistic creatures by the time I was in middle school.
Convince the lawyer you paid a shit ton of money too to take your case to appeals court, and also a civil suit. Sue the bitch. If this is real.
First off, your situation sucks hard, and anyone who's dealt with women can sympathize.
You had your day in court, by by taking a plea deal. But it's hard to believe that an attorney actually lied about having a chance to "change your mind". He would have nothing to gain by screwing you, and would put his career at risk or worse. As for whether there's anything to be done at this point, the only thing you can do is get a good criminal lawyer, tell him everything, and don't say another word to the woman or the police, no matter what.
If this follows the standard pattern, she be back, desperate, like a deranged addict coming off her power high and looking for a drama fix. Expect more stunts and lies, destruction of property, assaulting you and your family, suicide threats, anything possible to keep the attention orgy going. Ask your lawyer about how to deal with it, because it's coming.
Never plea to anything. Ever.
Any updates on the dog's present health?
[permanently deleted]
OP please give updates on this really curious about your case!
You would have been fine, I think, if you had just NOT VIOLATED THE FUCKING COURT ORDER.
The cops and the justice system deal with false claims pretty regularly.
You, however, decided that a crazy bitch's word was more important; you thought she'd be honorable. You thought she developed some fucking character within 2 weeks?
Jesus T.F. Christ, son. Unfortunately, you learned this lesson the very hard way.
Dude... holy shit... come to Europe and forget about that shit. I cant believe that the US would betray a veteran like that... Is your dog ok?
The U.S. is notorious for betraying veterans.
[permanently deleted]
She ruined his life because he broke her heart. Totally fair! /s
Attention, drama, spite, exerting control over a man, acting on emotional impulse - the same things that motivate all women.
She's clearly evil and/or mental.
Take note guys! Don't be a retard. Sorry to hear your story, but boy oh boy, NEVER EVER talk to a bitch who calls the cops on you after the initial incident. Be grateful that you got out of it with just a restraining order and GET THE FUCK AWAY. You play with fire, you risk getting burnt; play with fire after getting burnt once, and you're an idiot.
There's nothing I can do for the OP, but for anyone else a few things:
1.) A woman can call the police at anytime and say you assaulted her. If she does, you will most likely go to jail. This is just a fact. Sorry.
2.) If there's a protective order, that means stay the fuck away from her. It doesn't matter how many times she calls, texts, or comes over. The protective order applies to you, not to her. She does not have authority to change it - only the judge does.
If she calls or texts or leaves messages, RECORD THEM. But do not respond. If she comes to your house, call the police, and ask them to issue a trespass warning. It's your house: she has no right to be there.
3.) Never ever agree to a plea bargain for something you didn't do. Laws vary from state to state, but as a general matter your chances of undoing a plea bargain are between slim and nothing.
gonna be honest here buddy, you fucked up on multiple occasions. nothing we say can help you immediately fix the situation. you're still going to fuck up regardless of how much guidance we give you, because your mind is in such a fragile and unstable place. something about you seemed vulnerable, something about you seemed like it'd be easy to exploit you. that cunt exploited you, and the police exploited you. what are you going to do about it? as of this exact moment, develop the most stubborn frame ever known to the face of man. how the fuck did you even let them arrest you or give you a sentence in the first place? because you have a penetrable frame. you seemed weak somehow. i would have repeatedly told the police that were arresting me in a very calm and matter-of-fact fashion that i did not abuse her, so why am i being arrested for it? spell it out for them in plain and simple terms. like you were speaking to a kindergartner.
it's never too late. develop your stubborn frame instantaneously. right fucking now. next time you see your lawyer/judge/police officer who arrested you/any official authority in this case, let them know you are going to pursue this case to the absolute ends of the earth to prove you didnt do it. the key here is to deliver your message of innocence to the right people in the most calm, cool and collected frame known to man. endurance wins my friend. tire the opponents out. keep going until they dont give a fuck anymore. tell them you would literally rather die than to give up this case right now. she severely injured your dog, your mental health and she is a huge threat to society. people such as herself shouldnt be allowed near anyone. tell them plainly, flat out, calm and composed, with the conviction of the motherfucking army vet that you are, that you will not be arrested for this. you didnt do it, so you dont deserve to get arrested for it. flat out.
Don't ever let your guard down around women, especially single mothers. Record everything
Jesus fucking christ why did you meet up with her again knowing that you had an order on you? Why wouldn't you show all those texts and letters to the cops when they happened. I mean seriously you could have avoided all of this AND got her on falsifying a police report. Holy shit.
24 years old with no wife or kids and this legal trouble hanging over your head? Find another country to start over again.
This. Your country sold you down the river so its high time you pledge yourself to another flag. Russia is looking for some solid trigger men to fuck up the American/Israeli funded&trained ISIS Fighters so try your luck there. Also the French Foreign legion is an option too.
And that was the day OP became an anarchist and an atheist.
He realized there is no God. No karmic order in the universe. No Jesus coming to save him. The only thing he has is what he takes for himself.
He also was hit with ton of brick realization that the state does not care about him. In fact, the state hates him. Its justice theater is nothing short of a kangaroo court meant to appease the stupid masses into a false sense of security. He realized the institution of the state is evil in its most tangible form.
Today is the day you start as a new man. You have been given the ultimate gift: knowledge.
And just FYI, having a felony only infringes a future career as a cog in the machine. You didnt want that anyway. A felony does not and will not stop you from self-actualization financially or otherwise.
I have been down on my luck too, brother. You will emerge from this stronger. Embrace the pain. Embrace the suffering. Become one with it.
Not sure how a single woman being a nasty cunt leads to a conclusion that there is no beginning to the chain of universal causation.
Perhaps a bit of an exaggeration of her importance.
I'm not atheist nor anarchist but i liked this post...strong stuff
PS on second thought i think i hate state intervention as well
I find it hard not to suspect this guy of being a feminist troll trying to incite anger.
baiting out the "go kill her" responses heh
It's funny who lurks in the shadows :/
why would you agree to meet her without wearing a tape recorder?
You sound like a fool for violating the court order. This is a malicious woman, and I hope that justice makes its way into her life one way or another.
She cheated on you. Then she lied about abuse. Then she lied to you again that she would recant. Seriously were you expecting to get back together with her and forgive her cheating ways? You were stupid enough to go meet her after a restraining order. It was a fucking set up.
Life lesson. NEVER TRUST A WOMAN.
BTW Second life lesson. You get what you pay for. Don't be cheap and lie about your income to get a public defender (aka public pretenders).
I don't have time to wade through 600 and some odd comments, so here is my two cents.
1. As others have said, once she placed the restraining order, she should have been dead to you. Blocking her calls and texts and possibly filing a stalking charge with the police using personal letters left on your vehicle is the route you should have taken, but that is water under the bridge at this point, take the lesson learned.
2 Since you didn't do the above before, do it now.
3 You will get your day in court. Make sure your attorney has all of the evidence and that it is is submitted to the court in your counter claim. Make very sure that any veterinary bill from her throwing your dog from the moving vehicle are included in the evidence. Make sure you a bring a copy of all of the evidence with you. Judges see this sort of shit every day, and it isn't decided in some bull shit family court. They will take into consideration all of the mitigating circumstances and evidence. This case seems like a misdemeanor with a suspended sentence. Your current attorney should be aiding and advising you on these matters.
I don't know what the wiretapping laws are in your state but if she was calling you and admitting over the phone that she lied you should have recorded it.
Guys got missed the single mom post.
Question, why did you go back after the first arrest? You like punishment?
Guilty until proven innocent. Awesome.
Sorry this happened to you, brother. Orders for Protection (OfPs) are insane and totally unfair. I know because my ex put one on me to start our divorce. Someday I may tell that story here.
You've made at least two mistakes so far. One, violating the initial OfP. NEVER, EVER do that. Violating it usually makes it permanent and\or gets you convicted. Two, you should have lawyered up THE INSTANT you were served.
Best wishes fighting it. Sounds like it may be an uphill battle. But know this: Your future is not ruined, just altered. Your life is not over. It sucks, but you can overcome.
never ever date single mothers. Holy fuck bro, I hope you recover.
Did she tell you through text or email or something that "if I met her she would tell the cops the truth that she made it up"? I'm curious as to why you didn't present this as evidence? Maybe you still can. If you somewhere have evidence of her admitting she made it up, you may have a shot at dismantling this bullshit and removing that felony from your life.
Learn from his mistake boys. Could be worse OP
show them her text messages, voicemails and call logs.
Best of luck man, I don't know what to tell you. I can't believe a human would stoop that low. Is your dog okay?
[permanently deleted]
That is why I think this is complete BS. The protective order goes both ways. If this were true, she would be in as much trouble as he says he is in with all of the evidence that he has. A good lawyer doesn't cost more than $2,500 for this. The whole story stinks.
She lied about you abusing her, sue her for it. She invited you there, sue her for trying to set you up. You should never again trust someone that falsely accused you. That person feels no empathy for you and the only reason for contacting you again is to be able to lie even more against you. False claims of abuse and rape are punishable by law with prison. Hire a private detective and find evidence of her doing false accusations in the past. The best advice is to have no mercy and make sure she gets the maximum punishment possible, no deals, no nothing.
GET AN ATTORNEY. I REPEAT AND CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH - GET A FUCKING ATTORNEY. NOT TOMORROW, RIGHT NOW.
To be completely honest man, you've already been 10 kinds of stupid. The absolute worst thing you can do (besides seeing her again) is not get an attorney. Go to your state bars website and find one. Google them, read reviews. It you don't have money, figure it out. You're going to be fucked if you don't let an attorney handle this.
IF YOU'RE STILL READING YOU DIDN'T GET AN ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY. STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND GET ONE RIGHT NOW. This is real life, you will get triple butt fucked if you don't.
Wake up!
Holy fuck.. Is your dog okay?
8 years is not that long. You can manage it. You are a good person and probation is not a problem for you.
Do everything you can to never, ever cross path of that woman again. Change city, country, whatever you can.
start your own business as a counteraction to potential employment problems.
That's fucked up. I don't get the part about your future being ruined though.
I hope it's not, but having a felony on my record is extremely discouraging. This will follow me.
It will probably follow you but it won't ruin you. People have come back from worse. Consider this a lesson learned and be thankful it didn't end up being much worse.
You think you're in bad shape right now? No matter how bad things get, even if you can't imagine things getting any worse, it can; so don't do anything stupid that'll really fuck things up. That's a trap in and of itself, even worse than the one you already got sucked into. Just make the best of what remains. You think you're the first guy that made a huge blunder and came to pay for it dearly? No. But we take our licking and chalk it up to experience. As a man, think with your head, not with your emotions like women do. It only feels like the end of the world right now. Banish those feels. That's what men do; we are not governed by emotions but by reason. Close your eyes and visualize every scenario that could happen...you'll come to the right conclusion. You might even get a few chuckles out of it.
About the only thing you can do now is go into politics.
You get to be part of the entrepreneurial master rave now. FUCK being answerable to anyone
You didn't see the trap.
You were in the military and what does the enemy do?
Do they tell you they are about to attack?
No... they trap you and attack when you don't expect it coming.
This woman has ruined your life and probably just for fun.
Were you reading Red Pill before this happened?
If so you didn't seem to get the message that women are totally fucked up these days.
.
Just so you know...
I once talked with a woman for five minutes and she later invented a story where I was stalking her. The accusation was entirely false, but she filed the paperwork at the police station and it's on my record. This all happened a month after that five minute interaction.
What did I do?
Never got anywhere near that woman again.
Women have the courts on their side.
It's war... you just got hit... accept your loss.
.
Do you have any notes, letters, or texts of her saying she will tell the truth if you came over. That could be used in your favor.
The protective order is also protection for you. You need better legal representation.
The judge can't deny an appeal. That's what the appellate courts are for.
Appeals courts can only hear questions of LAW. If the lower court screwed up in interpreting the law, or the law has changed, you can appeal. If it's not a legal question but an argument over the facts of the case, you generally can't appeal.
even if you take a plea, you have 30 days to withdraw that plea. It's not something the judge can deny.
Bitches be crazy, i feel for you bro, you definetly shouldnt have gone back to her under any circumstances but no of us know for sure what was going through your mind at the time, take it easy, things have a way of working out in the end. The psycho bitch will get her own soon enough
You actually violated the court order. You are not innocent in regard to that.
You're right, I am guilty of violating the protective order, under extenuating circumstances for what it's worth. Not only did she tell me that she would tell the police the truth, she threatened to sends sexually explicit photos of myself to family and screen shots of sext messages if I didn't.
If you were smart you'd have a record of everything she's said like this to you.
That's blackmailing you to break the law. IANAL but I'm sure that could've worked in your favour, had you brought it to court.
There are different things that can be communicated in response to your post. Practical advice or emotional support. Others have offered practical advice.
If there is nothing practical to be done, what we need to do is to stoically accept the loss and move on. And find things that make us happy again.
You are not in jail. There are innocent men out there who are.
You lost money on the attorney. Yes, that's part of life. If you crashed your car, you would have also lost money. It's a lot of money, but it's not that much considered over a life time. Accept that you will have unexpected expenses from time to time. Prepare for that.
They ordered you to work for free for ca. 31 days. Again, after you have lived long enough on this planet a month will feel like a blink of the eye to you. It's community service, NOT JAIL, which is good.
Some smart guy said that most men are in jail because of women: beat a woman, raped a woman, beat another guy because of a woman, stole money to impress a woman, didn't pay alimony, etc.
I'm half past thirty, I've lost in civil court ca. your age, lost money on a crashed a car, had to pay a monthly salary to the debt collector. And it was depressing every time, but now it seems trivial. If we were women, we could cry together. Since we are men, all I can say as emotional support is: I sympathize but harden the fuck up, son.
[permanently deleted]
You're 100% right. I am not defending my actions, I am just explaining my logic, or lack thereof, and thought process which led to those actions.
Is it just me or are more women sociopaths or psychopathsthan men? Maybe not physically violent but still.
Bro, I know you are all up in shambles at the moment but reading this post I can't help but think this is one of two things.
This bitch has been crazy, as in you should have known to next her a long time back.
You aren't as innocent as you make yourself out to be.
Either way, as a man its on you. You say you are a vet and thats good. You say you come from a rich family and thats 100x better.
You can get your record cleaned up, get this knocked down to a misdemeanor like a disorderly or something, BUT NOT IF YOU FUCK UP! That means zero contact with the girl. None. Nothing. No exceptions. I don't care if you left your favorite moped in her garage, thats shits gone.
EDIT: I reread what I typed and it sounds too harsh. You will be ok OP but its all lawyers, money, and time now. Zero fucking contact.
I don't know if anyone has asked this yet, but is your dog ok?
Sorry bud. I've been able to dodge my false accusations (3) so far. What is sad is when innocent guys like you are driven to suicide by these crazy bitches. I know RP is all "survival of the fittest", but I hope you're doing ok OP. Bitches be crazy. Stay strong.
Op, you messed up bad here. However, you can see if the judge will accept the text, emails and voicemails as evidence that you were coerced into seeing her again. You've learned a valuable lesson as well. Single moms are usually single for a good reason and you should leave them where they are.
Good luck bro. Don't be so stupid in the future. If you saved the texts and shit you should be fine but mentally prepare for the worst case scenario.
Consider this a good lesson learned the hard way.
Over before it began, let this be a lesson to the rest of you, never willingly deal with the state, it's not your friend.
It's schools, they teach you to be subservient to your authority figures, don't forget everything you've ever learned in the system was to become a slave for it.
OP, you fucked up big time here:
A court ordered you to stay away from her, and you disobeyed that order. You completely fucked that up.
She's a terrible person and you did nothing malicious to her, but you cannot disobey court orders, even if they're based on lies and the protected person reaches out to you.
Had you not contacted her, kept all the evidence of her contacting you during the 60 day period, and shown it to the judge during the hearing that was probably scheduled for the end of the 60 days, the order may well have been tossed out and you could have walked a free man.
Best advice for anyone suddenly slapped with a protective order: do not have any contact whatsoever --physical, phone, text, email, facebook, smoke signal-- with the protected person (don't even discuss them with friends or family). Keep ANY evidence of their lying to get the order, and any contact they attempt with you during the order. Hire a criminal defense attorney, go to the hearing on the order with your evidence and your lawyer, fight to have the order dropped, and then NEVER have ANY contact with the person again, regardless of what happens.
The feminist lobby has made protective orders so overpowered and easy to get that it's not even funny.
Where are the letters of confession? You have the text messages on your phone account obviously as well as the emails.
Whatever happens next, do exactly what the $7500 attorney tells you to do, with no deviation.
Stay away from single mother scums. Cut all contact with this woman FOREVER.
Liquidate all your assets, transfer to Bitcoin, pm if you want details on how to create an untraceable wallet.
Get your passport, get on a one way ticket out of there to a third world country of your choice. It's the best way out for you I suppose.
If she contacted you, you should have just taken that evidence to court. That's a huge piece of evidence.
Collecting information in 2015 is far too easy, and we all need to use simple tools available to us. Email/text paper trails are simple and valuable, calls can also be recorded without the other party's knowledge in most states (check yours), and just as the police are learning it is wise to use discreet cameras ESPECIALLY in circumstances such as yours. I personally use, and recommend, the Mobius Action Cam. Its like a GoPro, and similar quality, but unlike a GoPro is less expensive, matte black and very discrete, and it can record indefinitely in a loop (overwriting the oldest 5 mins of video at a time) to work as a dash camera as well with automatic-on when you turn the car on and it gets USB power to recording for a set period on internal battery power. They are so tiny, you can easily and discretely have it recording anywhere in your room as well, and of course don't forget that most cell phones have excellent cameras and microphones as well.
Personally, I have two Mobius dashcams in each of my cars, one front and one rear both very discretely mounted that are always automatically recording, and at home I have a full on 13-camera security system.
At the very least, it can prevent a huge waste of time and resources in he-said, she-said, and best case it can downright save your life.
You're fucked 'arry.
Seriously - what the fuck were you thinking meeting her in private AFTER she had an emergency protection/stayaway order against you?
What are you doing placing your life in the hands of a PUBLIC FUCKING DEFENDER? Especially when you have $7,500.00 to blow on an appeal, where your grounds are much narrower as you're no longer before a trier of fact.
This is what happens when people try to handle crazy on their own or on the cheap: The entire criminal justice system closes in, crushing them.
Did you?
Bro. I have no advice for you. You need to start using some logic.
This is how bad men are made
It's time to embrace the dark side, homie. If you can't beat this in court you should know that prison deals are always shorter and less of a hassle than probation deals, and people in the system have a tendency to fuck off their probation and end up in prison anyway.
If you do go to prison, make friends with people in the weed game and take advantage of the evolving legal weed situation. You're a criminal now, accept that you've been wrong about criminals your whole life. But don't necessarily trust them either, lol. Also, mind your own business...sticking your nose in other people's business and racking up debts are really the only thing people get beat up for. Well, there's other shit but that's the best rule of thumb for newbies.
I feel for you. But what the fuck did you expect. Legal action was being taken against you, and you met up with this psycho? This is your fault. I feel for you, but it's not all on her, you put her in the situation to ruin your life when you kept contact.
At the end of the day you should have hired a first class solicitor to do this for you and you would be 100% fine, no felony, charges dropped. This is what happens when you don't red pill the law. If you don't get the best representation you're in for a blue pill time.
This is why you hear stories of people killing their SO's and then themselves
Based on my limited knowledge of the United States, you options are to write a manifesto and go on a shooting spree or move to a country where a criminal record from America is treated as a joke because those damn yanks and their privately owned prison system that is allowed to lobby government.
Seriously, you are living in a first world economy with a third world legal system. Get the hell out of there man. Just don't bring your crazy here.
I bet there is a history of her doing this to other men in the past. If there was a way to find out who they are and ask them.. I dont know how to go about that. But if there is a pattern of men "abusing and raping" her then there could be a way to fight her in court for lying. Just a thought.
You can only set aside a plea for good cause.
How is this a felony. You violated a court order so I got that, but what is the felony to which you pled?
Also, this is not the end of the world. You can get even a felony conviction erased after 6 years- so go get a degree where your felony record doesn't matter and then make it go away. I have seen guys serve 6-10 years for a false conviction so in that sense you got off light. Look on the bright side. You still have your youth, your health, your experiences and education, and your freedom. You lost your innocence and the price was costly but I have seen a lot worse.
I would recommend contacting Mike Cernovich from dangerandplay.com . He has a website and he writes about male issues. He is a lawyer who fought a false rape case and won. He might have some advice for you.
i looked at your post history, you were aware of the redpill before today & you still chose to date a single mother & then you chose to go see her against a restraining order.
i honestly have no sympathy for any man who is red pill aware & chooses to ignore our warnings.
Sorry to hear this. Ain't nothing I can say to you to help you that hasn't already been said in this place.
Tough bro. You're roughly the same age as me and I can't see this happening to myself. Lesson learned..the hard way.
Aren't the countless texts evidence enough that she's crazy and invited you over? What about the hand written notes?
All ignored. Due to taking plea deal (under bad advisement), I never got a trial.
Pretty stupid decision... Is there a way to change that?
OP good luck. This doesn't help but my situation is far, far worse.
Always know that no matter how bad you have it, someone is getting fucked over even harder. Newbies take heed!
Could you develop more? False rape acussation?
The best thing you can do is try to get a pardon, given evidence of innocence. Its highly unlikely to succeed however.
Take a fly to some other country and start again from 0.
She rused you with the meeting :( protective orders will screw you over no matter what your intention was.
Wait, I don't get what you mean. Did he lie about the appealing process? Hopefully this works out in the end for you OP...
I'd just fuck off to another country. Bhutan, Croatia, China, Kazakhstan, and a slew of other fine countries have no extradition treaty with the U.S., and your money will go a long way there. Iceland is also famous for giving asylum to wanted men, but it's pretty cold and dreary up there.
Get hold of this guys attorney.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/obsessive-exs-cyberstalking-man-fired-arrested/story?id=26256346**
After the 60 days protective order, any contact from her should have been left ignored, or any compromise of you breaching the order to meet her should have been strictly under the condition that she sends you written and signed evidence of your innocence in the mail or left on your truck - potentially with evidence of withdrawal request of the protective order.
Unfortunately you consistently gave her legal leverage over yourself.
I wish I had something helpful to say. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve this. She deserves to burn in hell.
Wtf, i don't know about US law system but is there no way he can appeal? Is he fucked because of a state monkey who adviced him to take the plea deal?
Jesus, borderline dystopic shit here gentleman.
I would get some secret film footage either of her admitting to lying, either to you or perhaps a girl you could get to converse with her, if that fails, ruin that bitches FUCKING LIFE, by hook or by crook, she deserves NO MERCY, if what you say is accurate.
Wow man I feel really bad for you. If it makes you feel any better you've put the ever-loving fear of god in thousands of readers.
I will undoubtedly never approach a single mother in my natural life after reading this. Beyond all the good reasons to never date a single mother, this has scared the shit out of me.
Ok man best bet is to keep fighting even if you are locked up, keep writing blog posts or something.
Dude bitches be crazy. Stay away from the megacray
I'd skip the country, move somewhere else. Having a felony is going to essentially kill your chances at getting a good paying job unless you start your own business.
You're an idiot. She fair and simple got you. She is a crazy bitch. You should have never met with her after your first arrest, and just kept all of her communications as evidence. You are in deep shit with a crazy bitch now. I hope your attorney is good and hopefully can minimize the punishment.
If you've posted anything about this on social media, delete it now. Save/print voicemails and texts. If you're ever forced into an encounter with her or anyone she knows, start recording. You shouldn't have been in the car with her once she had you by the short and curlies. But since you were, you should have been recording that too.
Some of this advice is god awful. Don't try to publicly shame her or try to clear your name on social media. She's obviously a calculating woman...any opportunity to be a victim and you're just adding to her case. Head up, accept that this is going to be a costly mistake. Do what your lawyer says to a T.
Can we get some proof of this OP? This is something that should be sticked as a warning, and if it's going to be used as a warning, there should be something showing that it is true.
Can you show some legal documents blacking out personal info at all?
You really should have postponed the meet up with her until you could record her saying that she was going to admit her lies.....
If your lawyer "lied", I'm sure there's something you can do about this.......something about inadequate representation. I'd ask your new lawyer there.
Try to see if you can get your story to the media if you really do have evidence.
Welcome to the "justice" system.
Had something similar, though not as drastic happen to me. Almost ruined my entire future. I'm sorry this happened to you. You've learned a lesson for life here. You can take solace in knowing that things change and life will get better. Good luck.
You could look into the French Foreign Legion. That's pretty much the only out you got
I dated someone like this recently. I'm really sorry about your situation but stories like this remind me how lucky I am.
Like everyone else has said- sever all ties and be glad you didn't have any kids with her.
Since everyone has already established you're a dumbass (welcome to the club), you are gonna have some issues to deal with like probation and finding a fucking job to meet probation requirements. One suggestion, go get your flagger cert, takes about 4 hours of bullshit and you can get a job that hires felons and actually pays decent, better if prevailing wage. You're gonna be fucked for a while work wise, its a shitty job but it pays better than a dishwasher or gas jockey.
You might just be getting shit off your chest but you are showing us all how quick it can go bad if we get sloppy.
The MRA don't seem so pointless now do they?
Hang in there OP. If it's true you have evidence that can clear you, then do what you can to make sure you get your day in court. I know nothing about the law but if an appeal isn't possible, can't you counter-sue? Write to your local news editor or local official to generate public attention if you think that helps. Blame your previous attorney if you have to. Raise hell and clear your name.
Women view us as paychecks and bank accounts.
That's it.
The cops arrested you for violating the protective order, because you violated the protective order. You did this to yourself.
My god, man, good luck. You need a good legal adviser before you do anything. I've heard of legal zoom before, just google that and it will come up. That is hopefully a start, but damn man, you need a lawyer.
$7,500 seems like a bit much. Lawyer gouged you.
Well, I thought I had it bad, and I do, not just quite that bad. It's good that you don't have any kids, that's a bigger plus than you might think.
It is a very dark time, and it will stay that way for a long time. You will be forever changed about how you think about your life and other people.
I'm not here to fix everything for you, but I am here to tell you my stupid-ass bitch of an ex had me in cuffs twice (because she got away with perjury and abuse of the legal system) and still hasn't stopped me from taking life by the balls and charging forward like a motherfucker.
Everyone here who recommends you stick with the lawyer and stick with the law is right, because one thing I learned every-so-slightly too late was that courts, judges, and lawyers don't give a flying FUCK about the truth they're just trying to clear the docket and masturbate in your money, because everyone in there is getting paid for this bullshit except for the clients.
Some very general thoughts on how to make this less painful is to make it as easy for your lawyer to prove that you are not the problem.
And people don't know this, but yeah, women can just make shit up and take your freedom. My cunt of a wife did more to me through civil court than any criminal prosecutor could have dreamed. I fucked up when I tried to charge her with assault, even though she did it and had been doing it for 10 months off and on, because in civil court that makes me look like an asshole and called into question my credibility as a witness to civil proceedings. They tried to spin it like me charging her (with something she had done) was solely for revenge for her infidelity. So no, do not, I repeat, do not expect any kind of justice. All you have is hope when it comes to the law.
Godspeed, or whatever.
Violating the court order was a retarded move. The only thing to do in that situation would be to take the letters left on your truck and any other messages to your lawyer.
Pack your bags, get your passport, your going to Jamaica. Forever.
If this is all true, it is truly tragic. You made several serious mistakes in judgment, for which you will pay dearly. The old saw, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I'm not trying to be cruel, but I hope that others you learn from your mistake.
I am sorry for you man, but the level of stupid you exhibited...
From the court's perspective nobody has any idea what is right or wrong, examining evidence takes work, and most people are stupid and lazy. Then you go ahead and make one thing CLEAR which is violating a court order; that colors everything else subsequent to that.
And what exactly did you think made her trustworthy the THIRD time around (second time is when she called the cops; FIRST time is when she became a single mom)?
Just get a real lawyer, listen to real advice, don't do anything stupid like exact revenge (because assault will definitely get you in more trouble, "cool stories about ancient China" aside), make the best of your situation.
And grow a couple more fucking neurons, ok?
No offense, but you're a fool for violating your court order and meeting up with her. Hope you saved those soliciting communications from her, because now your life depends on it.
What the fuck were you thinking? Literally for 2 weeks there was a pinned post saying Single Mothers are the scum of the earth. And after she went full psycho, you reinitiated contact without a 3rd party willing to testify. This was on you from beginning. Good luck and I hope you get out of this shit situation, but what a stupid thing to do.
If this actually happened to you, then I feel fucking terrible for you. That really sucks.
But for someone who has served in the military and survived deployments, I would expect you to have been way smarter.
Met up in violation of a restraining order?
Accepted a plea deal from a public defender?
Didn't hire a lawyer?
If you aren't making this up, this is a spectacular comedy of errors.
How did you survive deployment when you seen to have no sense of self preservation?
This is why I keep my distance from women that had multiple ex's in the past. I honestly wish you the best of luck op because no one deserves this type of treatment.
Honestly bro, this may sound a bit crazy, but... leave the fucking country man. Just go. You say you served in the army, whether thats true or not, the country that you volunteered to go to war for has royally fucked you in the ass. Lets be real, you fucked up by making stupid mistakes and not handling your shit by going back to the girl. That is on you.
If you leave this country, you will get a completely fresh start. COMPLETELY fresh start. 8 years of punishment and thousands of dollars (and likely debt) to show that you are a decent man is just not worth the fucking price. Brazil, East Asia, Eastern Europe are all cheap places to live.
Again, crazy advice, but the more these things happen, the more sane they start to sound.
I would, but out of all these comments you probably didn't see my comment from earlier. My mom has Alzheimer's and my dad recently had a stroke. They aren't long for this world and they need my help. They have been awesome parents and I can not and will not abandon them. If and when they pass I will leave. I feel so jaded because I'm a patriot and have always loved this country. I think it's the greatest country to ever exist, but it's not what it was. I am heartbroken to say, that for the first time in my life I am disappointed with my country.
I'm sorry that you have to find out this way, but America has devolved into a piece of shit over the last few years. I'm not complaining about our foreign policy, more about how internally we've become this leftist welfare PC piece of shit.
Obviously we don't compare to sweden and other horror shows of progressivism but this country is no longer worth fighting for.
Get a private investigator to collect evidence
It's generally unwise to put someone, especially an army vet, in a position where they have nothing to lose but their own life.
What a nightmare of a justice system you have.
If you can, just move to another country and start your life over. Some country that would not look at your previous history. There are plenty of other countries in the world, that are better then US or other "westernized" countries.
Fuck this, I can't imagine what you're going through. You're a young guy with your whole life ahead of you.
I'm sorry to hear about everything that's happened to you/you're currently going through. It's completely messed up and this woman sounds like she genuinely has mental problems.
I guess we know why she was single now; the other dudes obviously bailed when they knew for sure she was crazy. Lesson learned for other TRPers perhaps - single mothers: not even once.
I just want to say that i am sorry and that i am shocked by reading this.
Its easy. Thank the lord you are not in jail, appeal it if you can. Start a fucking business
America is all kinds of fucked up. It baffels me that this is even possible.
Next time use your male intuition...
Holy crap. That is one vindictive human being.
True love is the rarest of commodities. Don't fool yourself into thinking this woman ever did. Stay far, far away. Move if you have to (once this legal issue is resolved). I would get things in motion right away.
Should have hired that good attorney from the start.
You let your biological desire for women rule your instincts you should suffer the consequences of dating single mom( red flag) and you trusted her even after she falsely accused you ...
Well nothing much to say, system is stacked against you
That is a tough pill to swallow but you have learnt that the first time you get burned is the last time. You should never have gone back to her.
Once they prove they will lie to hurt you, you can never treat them like humans again. They are sick dogs that will turn on you in a moment.
You have my sympathy. Write the story down long form and submit to all the local news agencies. Who knows you might get some attention for how nonsense this is.
Yea... I had a similar situation with an ex of mine... 2 weeks after moving in together in a town 5 hours away from where we usually live, my then-girlfriend decided that I was not being supportive enough when I refused to pay FOR EVERYTHING, and that she would be better off with this sleazy coke head that was giving her coke and doing anything she wanted. I basically came home to our apartment with them sitting there on my furniture telling me to get out.... I kindly told them to get fucked.... They left, 10 minutes later I started getting text messages with "oh why did you beat me".... Bs
I called the cops exactly 1.5 minutes before she did..
I put on my finest polo shirt and met the police with the story, the phone conversations.. Luckily they understood that her story was bullshit and they just told me to leave..
122mm howitzer round dodged
At the genetic level men are programmed to defer to women. That is, we accept them without verification or competition. This predisposition is also enforced socially.
We want to believe a woman when she says things and many men come to find out that their word isn't worth a thing.
I'm sorry this happened to you. All men have a natural naivety about women which is instinctual.
Now you have to dig yourself out. Start by telling as many people as you can. See if you can get the local news on your side. Show them the evidence you have and which your lawyer failed to use in your defense. Call the newspaper and tell someone there. Public pressure can work in your favor.
That said, once you plead guilty to something you've got an uphill battle even worse than before. I don't envy your situation.
That said, I wonder if you can sue her in civil court? If you have this evidence that she lied and tried her best to get you to violate a court order then you may have a civil action against her. It may not vacate your conviction but you might recover some of your financial losses.
Good luck.
And being nurtured by an authoritative female figure during the first few years reinforces that natural inclination. We are indoctrinated at the prime moment.
deleted What is this?
That bitch was waiting for her chance to fuck you over. Try to break up with a single mother? She's gonna make you suffer. I mean, why do you think she's a single mother? Mentally, there's something wrong with these women.
And as much as people will try to shame you into rejecting this fact that hard experience teaches, don't. Manhood is learning about the world, and staying true to your beliefs.
After all this shit is done with and you're cut off the loose, get these charges expunged off your record. It's free from the court and I've heard some people pay like $40 bucks to get charges removed within 90 days.
Your life isn't ruined, I I had it almost just as bad as you at the age of 18.
If yesterday was the worst day of your life, just know tomorrow has to be better!
What the fuck. A post like this for me is not awal this is just crazy people are crazy.
Good luck OP. You are going to make it.
Damn, sorry bro. I dont reall have anything useful to add, but good luck.
Can you pick up and GTFO of the area? Thats what I'd do; cut all contact with friends and family. Let no one know where you're going and start fresh.
While this is 100% possible and does happen to people, your reddit history has you consistently posting for days.
Did they put you in jail just for a couple hours or something, and you never let this bother you till now?
Last time I was in jail was August.
Oh I'm sorry man, noticed you're new to TRP. Shit, if only you found this place by then.
That's why i moved to the East bro! When i have to head to the West such as now, i have blue balls. What happens if she gets pregnant and says you are the father?!?!
I've gone down the same road where its been 5 years without touching a westernised woman and i look at the world differently and never been happier. A real feminine eastern woman is the way to go where i would suggest you walk away and only fuck real women.
If you play with fire (dysfunctional westernised women) you will get burnt where 80% of sucidals are men. Half of them in the west are due to relationship breakups!
Walk away bro and NEVER look back!!!
Secrety get her back for it(she'll know who and why) but in a way that they can't trace it back to you and then change countries: New Zeland, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Denmark.
That's what you get for being a dum-dum bluepill man.
I'm sorry but you should have stayed away. Now it's time to play the game unfortunately. And if you are getting all of the above, I'll happily beat that bitch up for you for a fee. Lol no joke pm me
You violated a court order. You're a fucking retard.
You should've known better
[permanently deleted]
god i fucking hope to god not.
I hope you kept the letters and any voice mails that she left you after the initial false claim. If not, you are fucked.
Sounds like you ruined your life
Kill her and leave the country
[permanently deleted]
[permanently deleted]
[permanently deleted]