TL;DR:
This post is about addressing the idea that AWALT is "unfair" or "inaccurate" from a scientific perspective. AWALT is an "unfair generalization", but the concept doesn't exist to be perfectly accurate or perfectly fair. It exists as a rule-of-thumb to keep you safe. Protect yourself, protect your interests, then go out there and have a good time with the people you love, you handsome devil you.
I was thinking a while ago about the phrase AWALT, and how (from a philosophical/scientific perspective), it can't possibly be an actually valid statement. So I started thinking about why that is, and why it persists.
And then I realized that there's another phrase like that, which is All Guns Are Loaded. It's a very simple concept to understand: If you have a gun, assume it's loaded. If somebody points a gun at you, assume it's loaded. It doesn't matter if you've personally unloaded it or witnessed somebody unloading it. All guns are loaded.
It's admittedly a little bit troublesome that we use the phrase AWALT, because it can be interpreted as oversimplifying women. It's annoying to have to explain to people. I've had someone come to me and say, "Okay, the truths about TRP seem to make sense, but I can't get past how they generalize a huge population. That's just unscientific."
I agree. And the important thing to realize here is this– AWALT isn't an attempt to come to a scientific, accurate assessment of an entire population. It's a heuristic meant to remind you to prepare for the worst.
Consider how we "oversimplify" guns. We assume that they're all loaded. Why? How come that's okay? Because it's better to be safe than sorry. The same logic applies with AWALT. And in any respectable relationship between equals, both parties will appreciate the fact that the other party is first and foremost responsible for their own interests.
Some people will say that that's not what relationships are about, that relationships should be about blind, passionate trust in the other person's absolute and total devotion to both parties' mutual interests. That's incredibly naive. It's a fairy tale. Even siblings kill each other. Why do we expect better from romantic love?
I believe that it's possible to love people deeply, to be kind, to be generous, to be warm, to be loving. (Sometimes I wish I saw more of that from TRP, but I respect that that's not what this forum is about. So I'll keep those fee-fees to myself.)
A leader doesn't impose discipline on his crew because he hates them and he thinks crews are necessarily unreliable. He does it because he wants them to achieve great things as a collective, and have great experiences along the way. That said, he also protects himself so that he might live to fight another day, should he find himself utterly compromised.
So it is with relationships. Be as warm, kind, and loving as you like. But protect your interests. Remember that you can't negotiate desire, you have to earn it. Remember that nobody truly cares about your suffering.
And remember that all guns are loaded.
PS: Also, you can also assume that 'AMALT' with regards to all sorts of negative and damaging behavior, too. You should assume, for instance, that any money you lend will never be returned. I'm sure you can think of all sorts of other such heuristics that are necessarily "unfair" or "imperfect" but are designed to save yo ass.
EDIT: When I say "troublesome", I don't mean "Aw, gee, it's not very nice that the boys at TRP are saying mean things about women." This is the Internet, who gives a shit. What I mean is this: If you're not careful about how you think and talk about a rule of thumb, you have a good chance of ending up in a nasty situation. This is a meditation on how to avoid getting into nasty situations. Think however you like, but consider the ramifications and act accordingly. (Or not. It's your life.)
[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan341 points342 points343 points (46 children) | Copy
[–]Casanova-Quinn42 points43 points44 points (16 children) | Copy
[–]BuddhistSC32 points33 points34 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Modredpillschool7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points (4 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]1clownShoe 12 points12 points12 points [recovered] | Copy
[–]BuddhistSC8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]systemshock8692 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]ioncehadsexinapool0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Casanova-Quinn2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]ioncehadsexinapool0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker31 points32 points33 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]setzer_1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]through_a_ways15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]1spicy_fries15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]alanthemanofchicago6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]thefisherman19619 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]alanthemanofchicago9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Tarnsman4Life10 points11 points12 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]ioncehadsexinapool-3 points-2 points-1 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]1theoctopuss0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]FeeFeeFeaster3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]PM_Me_Yo_Tits_Grrl3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed ContributorPopeman795 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]LukesLikeIt0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[+]RedPillGoldcomment score below threshold-7 points-6 points-5 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]martypete 5 points5 points5 points [recovered] | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]dsade-3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]enkae7317-3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 76 points77 points78 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]Senior ContributorOmLaLa20 points21 points22 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 33 points34 points35 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]waylandertheslayer1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy
[–]NeoreactionSafe56 points57 points58 points (14 children) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 22 points23 points24 points (12 children) | Copy
[–]NeoreactionSafe19 points20 points21 points (10 children) | Copy
[–]1Snivellious1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]NeoreactionSafe2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]1Snivellious0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]NeoreactionSafe1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]ASAP_Bickle0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]NeoreactionSafe0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]SpeakerToRedditors0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]NeoreactionSafe1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]1Snivellious2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]franklyforthright0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Code_Bordeauxx6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]2Sepean13 points14 points15 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Code_Bordeauxx3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]through_a_ways2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]RPTA900012 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Garconanokin5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Garconanokin1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed ContributorFLFTW1636 points37 points38 points (11 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]vzhu1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy
[–]fakenate10 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points | Copy
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy
[–]Born2Ball9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]TheMGhandi0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[+][deleted] comment score below threshold-14 points-13 points-12 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Diarrhea_Van_Frank12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Stythe3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Tarnsman4Life2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]1PantsonFire12341 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]2Archterus2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Philhelm1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]IPayDoubleForThat1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Rasalom72[🍰] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]dicklord_airplane1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]reddumpling0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]whenfoom0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]O_Son1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Hokuto199x0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]wittymore0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]3NO_LAH_WHERE_GOT[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]PandaMania30 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]BlueFreedom4200 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]1pluvoaz0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Gawernator0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed ContributorDoxasticPoo0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]SexistFlyingPig0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]The_TRP_Account0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Borsao66-1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy
[–]flat6turbo4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]jaimewarlock4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Borsao660 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]tallwheel-1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy
[–]TRP VanguardJP_Whoregan1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]tallwheel0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]SnickeringBear-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy
[–]Spidertech500-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy
[–]diamondbutcher-3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy