So before I confess to you all my heinous sins, let me give you a little bit of context. A good six months or so ago a ended up ending it with my LTR of 6 months, after moving out of my nice large high-rise studio into a very small studio nearby. Basically I wanted to save up 40k by the end of the year. I was spending wayyyy too much on stupid shit. I was travelling a lot, over paying for an apartment I don't really need, and just wanted to cut back on expenses. After all, my line of work gave me intimate insight into many business books -- I had access to how their ENTIRE operation functions, from cashflow, infrastructure, acquisition, and marketing. So I was in a position where if I saved up enough cash, I could quickly clone any of these many businesses. The idea was to scale back my life style for greater future rewards.

Sin #1 -- Forgoing AWALT. That she'd forgo other options to stick it out. That by me changing, she'd accept it.

As you can imagine, she left me on some bitter terms. Tried to explain it wasn't about my lifestyle change, but people growing apart or some shit. But I knew what it was about. I noticed when the change started happening. And don't get me wrong, I don't think this is a solid case of AWALT, but having these lifestyle changes definitely diminish your situation and create a tougher game for yourself. Sure, not ALL girls are like that, however, it's always just going to be the most rational thing to play it like they are, because best worst case scenario, you keep frame and everything balanced, best case, she isn't actually like that -- but it doesn't matter, because you treated it like AWALT and therefor the challenge never even occurred.

Anyways, I decided it was a good time to take a break from women, and just focus on work. My social life the next six months, was pretty much just with work friends, work, light gambling every now and then, and occasionally getting really hammered at some random bar. But no real attempt at doing much other than save money.

Sin #2 -- Giving up an active lifestyle. Even in monk mode, it's important to keep a lifestyle of activity up to some degree. I'm now learning this, because you start to get rusty. I'll learn this the hard way later. But what I should have still been doing was getting out, and still being active. While I should have still avoided relationships and the likes, I should have still stuck with doing weekend activities like joining a hiking group, or MMA classes, while avoiding just fucking around with work friends.

I think this is one really overlooked part of going monk. Is yeah, you may have some goals you want to achieve, but it's important to stay sharp, and use that time to keep developing the other aspects of your life. For me, it was just about saving up money. But I should have also been developing other aspects of my lifestyle while I was at it.

So a few months into this, I'm realizing I may have fucked up and let the ball drop a bit. Too focused on work and money, and not enough focused on rounding myself out while I stay low.

Brothers this following part is why I'm writing this post

I've been part of PUA for maybe 3 months before finding TRP back in 2012. I've been here a while. And you'd think I'd have everything down pretty hard by now, which I typically do, but what I'm about to tell you is how I literally fucked up everything I've learned and preached in the past, by completely disregarding it by being caught off guard and rusty. I also think it's important that even EC's who've been doing this a while are prone to mistakes, and I think they should be discussed.

So I get back into the gym, and start going out occasionally to pick up chicks. It's hit or miss; a bit rusty. But I score dates every now and then, none of which I found caliber to go beyond a casual hook up. The pussy I was getting really wasn't worth the effort. One thing I found interesting was how hard really "faking it till you make it" is. It's really, really, difficult having an abundance mentality when you don't actually have an abundance. It's one thing to logically think, "Okay don't invest too much into this interaction, who gives a shit how it ends up" but once you actually start gaining some traction, it's hard not to think, "Oh don't fuck this up, you have no quality backups to fall onto tonight." No matter what, a little part of your brain is going to tell you after a small failure, "Fuck it dude, try another tactic, something is bound to work," which naturally starts creating a feedback loop of desperation.

I learned this lesson a good 2 months ago. I was at a concert after losing some friends and just started chatting up whoever late into the event. And had a blast. I was getting back into my groove, teasing girls, doing some light kissing here and there, and just sort of going with the flow and not really concerned where the night took me. I was sharpening up and getting into the natural rhythm of things. This eventually lead into meeting up with some people who brought me back to a celebrity's little entourage and compound of sort. Everyone there was super chill, and I was still not really giving a flying fuck about what happened -- just chatting up anyone and everyone.

That was until the HB9 sexy traveler who claims to be "22" (BS) started getting flirty with me 1 on 1 and dropping heavy IOIs. "Okay" I think to myself, "Haven't had a 9 get this aggressive in a while. This is good. I know this game well; let's play." And I'm really getting her attention, so much so that some random dude starts to get closer to our conversation and occasionally dropping in... "Alright, got an AMOG. I got it." At this point, the game is in full swing, and I'm very aware of it.

Sin #3 Overthinking things. If you start to over think things, it takes you out of your own frame, and into theirs. It creates a feedback loop. You will start becoming more concerned with how you should react, and how they react in response. "What's a good witty reply? How do I get her attention back? Okay, I lost that shit test, what's a good way to quickly regain my ground" All these things start to build up, and now you've removed all of your own personal sovereignty by REACTING to the actions of every one else around you. (Side note: Watch your alcohol intake. Booze can really push you in either direction. But when you aren't on point, it's just going to slow you down and dull your edges, likely making it harder for yourself because you WILL get sloppy)

Eventually this set started to crumble. I was too desperate for the HB9, that I starting trying too hard. I was too focused on "what was right" rather than just going with it. It all ended when the girl who was really into me at first, started slowly flirting with the other guy, and it started to become clear, I was losing out. So I cut my losses, swiped a bottle of wine, and took an Uber home right as sun was rising.

Sin #4 Putting the pussy on the pedestal. This was my big fuck up. I know, I know, it's fucking RP 101... Anyways I have a pretty awesome ex who I thought would be a good chick to call up. She legitimately is a really good person, but I made the mistake of, once again, forgoing AWALT. Due to our past, I figured I wouldn't have to play too many games, and she'd be a good person to try and spark things up with again.

Turns out, she got super hot, and literally checks off every little box in the type of woman I like. "Awww fuck..." If the HB9 from is any indicator, I'm sure you can imagine how this story will go. Right out the gate, I'm hooked: Big fuck up. We go out, and I'm all fucking over her like white on rice. I figure, "Hey she left me in the past for being too cocky and a bit of a douchebag, I'm in the power position here. I can move as fast as I want and she'll be grateful."

Again, TRP 101 shit right here I'm fucking up. In the past, I had all the cards, and all the moves. She could have left me at any moment, and I wouldn't have given a shit. I could say and do what I wanted with impunity." But this time, with a little help from some unbalanced hormones in my blood, I decided to go with Manson's "Models" method on vulnerability.

Sin #5 Showing the cards in your hand. In retrospect I just went with that method because I was acting like a thirsty fool who wanted to rationalize his decisions. For those unfamiliar, he suggests being 100% vulnerable as a sign of strength and security. To completely let the other person know your intents... To leave no room for ambiguity by completely polarizing the situation. That she knows exactly where you stand, and she can either take the offer or leave. Which works great if you've really built yourself up in her eyes. But if you've yet to fully establish yourself where you want to be, it'll backfire, as I learned.

So that night I made it clear, and polarized it. I gave up all my cards. I told her I thought she was great, didn't play games, I liked her, and want to try things out again. She gets all cute, agreed, and we sleep together.

Seems good, right? Nope. Next day, she leaves, and goes fucking silent. Completely stonewalled. Sure some texts here and there, but nothing really affectionate. I started to realize, I gave up all my cards. I gave her the power. There is now absolutely NO room for a takeaway nor dreadgame. She knows exactly where I stand, and the ambiguity is gone. And as we all know, when a guy gives up his power, he may as well just cut off his dick and turn it into a Barbie doll.

She had all the power. By going in too fast, I removed her ability to crave me, which is what she wants. At that point, it became impossible for her to be able to desire my attention and affection, because she doesn't have to chase me or think about what my real motives and position is. She knows. Women want to watch a movie over and over again, trying to figure out what it's all about. That's all the fun for them. But instead, after one play through, I told her what the movie was about and ruined the excitement of figuring out the puzzle.

Lessons learned:

Stay sharp: This is my big fuck up. I started slacking. In retrospect I shouldn't have had such a dramatic lifestyle change... I should have still kept up on my game and plates to some degree. Sure, maybe not necessarily date or plate women, but definitely keep enough gaming going on to maintain that psychological abundance... You need to know you still have it. And at the very least, I should have kept up on my outside activities that didn't involve work.

Abundance: I'm sorry, but I learned from coming out of monk mode that abundance is hard to fake. Figure out a way to keep it. Right now, I'm going to latter it up. I am dating once or twice a week with a wide range of girls, as well as hitting up old dusty plates I typically wanted gone. But I need to build that abundance again to restart that positive feedback loop. Got a second date with a sexy as fuck 19 year old next week, so hopefully that'll pay off.

AWALT: The game is always being played. Always. No matter what you want to believe, it's being played. TRP may sound a little too fucking much at times, but it's just the fucking case. Women are women, and nothing is going to change that. No matter how intelligent you think she is, she still has estrogen and a female brain. They will ALL act like women, no matter what. If you get sloppy, you will lose.

Keeping my cards hidden: I was a dummy for forgoing the basics. People play the game because it's fun. Not only that, but giving up your hand ruins it for all parties involved: You lose your power position, and they already know what you're going to do.