Summary
This post is nothing new - few basic things you can do to improve yourself right now. I added few personal notes of how and why this things worked in my case. It might be useful for beginners and good reminder for old cats.
Body
Always be aware of your hierarchy of needs - but I doubt anyone here is in such a bad situation that he is not in position to do even this. So:
- Quit fapping
It is funny how regardless of all I did to improve my game and to go after poon, none of it works if I get back to my old friend named compulsive jerking off. Not chopping the bishop is giving me great ammount of energy and libido. Self doubt is not existent, same as introspection - it is almost gone, and I am much more less of an apologizing bitch. I am more assertive, my voice is deeper, body language stronger, and I want to fuck everything that moves and has tits.
Actually, my dick leads me than. If I look in my history of casual sex for last two years, something is very clear: every, single one, lay, I had in last two years, occured after I did not jerk for week or more. Every single approach I did, was done after I did not jerk off for week or more. Statistics are here and it's amazing.
I do not find useful if I do not fap at all. Once a week is best, so when I have a wish I do it on Sundays. Other days are not negotiable, and without edging as well.
2) Meditate
My big problem was that I was absent all the time. I was either scared about future, or dwelling over past. Both fucked up my body and mind, and I was less present. If you are not present it is even worse then if you are not at there at all. Without presence all I read is useless because I am not there to cultivate it. Presence is pre requsite for strong appearance and charismatic personality.
Consequentially, once when I stopped living in past or future times, I was able to, not just see problems and situations that I did not see before, I was able to focus on them and solve them. Effect was tremendous.
Meditation also helped me with reactiveness, which was another big issue for me. All the knowledge and social skills of the world is useless if you always say or something that's on top of your head.
I meditate 15 minutes a day. If I do it more, I do not feel more benefits. But, I am talking about 15 minutes of calm, present state. Sometimes it takes an hour to get there. Sometimes I also get frustrated and I quit (rare).
3) Lift
Suprisingly, right. Girls love muscles, you will be stronger and healthier, you will look younger longer and you will be more confident. So, lift, and do not be just meathead - do something else for sport as well or at least optimize your training to be efficient at rate of three times per week.
And when I say girls love muscles, then I mean it. Shit works like magic. While I believe fame or money or game can get you even easier between her legs, none of it can make her horny as muscles. And none of it will give her stronger orgasms.
I lift weights three times a week. I do not feel more benefits if I lift more then that. But often, the other days I am on the mat or in front of the boxing bag.
4) Save money
For education, enterpreneurship, single independent living in any major world city..well you will need more money then you can possibly save. I did not have enough money to start my own business even when I saved good percentage of my disposable income. My spending habits kept me three years in the same place. I had to achieve really great heights with saving to achieve something.
Not having enough will make you worry about future. It is hard to unleash your potential if you are on paycheck away from the street. First things must come first. Earn more and spend less. Make sure you have enough to live for six months in case you lose your job. If you want to start bussiness, do not invest anything that you can't say goodbye to. For Christ sake, stay out of big debt.
In case that you do not have a father who will just cash out 40 000 $ when you wish to open a company..prepare for something that will take a lot of balls and time to achieve and break through. Not enough money on account is probably no1 reason which hinders potential of so many guys. World spins around pussy and money and one of them is easy to get. Take a guess.
It is not fair and that is the way it is. Do not even think for a second in that direction.
5) Stop drinking alcohol
Maybe you are finally going to realize how Big City Saturday Night Life TM is shallow. You will also spend less money and eat less junk food. If you are like me, so few drinks become binge blackouts more then you are willing to admit, you will stop doing it as well. And find out what is that problem that you tried to solve with drinking. You will also get one more day during the week! Sunday is great when you stop drinking.
Most important of it all, you will forget what does term borrowed brass means. You will be you without booze.
And those tipsy chicks while you are sober will become so easy that you will think it's hidden camera show actually.
Conclusion
Do this for six months. Then see what changed and do you, and how, want to continue. I recommend, before you start:
Inform yourself about minimum effective dose. That is what you aim in just about everything. In everything we do there is number which is perfect - if we do less it's not effective; if we do more it is just time consuming with same effectivenes at best, and counter productive at worst. Start with more and then reduce.
Realize that going too radical about everything at once will make you quit soon. You can't just take this five things and start from Monday. Depends on how much work you need, you might burn. Take one thing, do it two weeks, add another one. When you have all five, do it for six months. And don't stop when you fail which you will. And it's normal, if you did all of this without one single exception at all times during six months well that's also not the best thing.
Sleep - not less then 7 hours a day. I learned the hard way that sleep deprivation is real thing. You can do all of this things, and even much more, but if you are chronically undersleeped you are not going to shine as much as you can. Minimum effective dose counts here as well.
Autistic dislaimer: some steps will change someone; to other it won't help at all. You should have at least basic ideas about what your problems are and how you should solve them. It should be obvious that if you are ripped as fuck that you don't need more weights, if you drink once a month that alcohol isn't root of your problem, and if you are filthy rich, saving money probably won't help you much.
edit: if there is interest, I can write in - depth version of this post where I can explain more about each of 5 things I mentioned here. Let me know.
English is far from my first language. Tolerate it. Thanks
Out of all of this I'd say not drinking is the best.
I've been cutting so I drink very rarely over the past 5+ months.
You have so much clarity, so much more time. Your body loves you for it.
Plus you're kind of a hipster in the sense that you don't conform to the cultural standard of getting wasted. It's like you're 'over' it. I say this because women have responded well when I tell them I almost never drink. I'm more... in control or whatever. Less desperate for the effects of alcohol.
Does nobody have the control to just drink in moderation? I go out with my friends (20y.o) and stick to 3-4 beers and am 100% fine the next day, zero hangover. I just make sure to drink a shit load of water before going out and also when I get home.
This way I don't entirely isolate myself from my friends by not drinking, and I get the social lubricative benefit of being a bit tipsy but still well composed enough to be sure my game isn't slipping.
From a bodybuilding perspective, studies have revealed having a few drinks in a night has no long lasting detrimental effect on test levels, only binge drinking does (would link but am on phone, simple google search should find the article). I've been gyming for 4 years natty and have made great strength and size gains while maintaining a lean physique all while drinking moderately on a Saturday night.
Another factor is just enjoying yourself while you're still young. Yeah I know, it may not be optimal for your health and you may only fire at 95% efficiency the day after.
Don't get me wrong, every now and again I'll exceed the 3-4 drink limit, but when you're old and decrepit sitting in a rocking chair, you'll want to be able to look back on your life and think "fuck I did some crazy shit when I was younger.." Rather than looking back with regret that you didn't have the fun you could have had.
Yeah having 3-4 good drinks and still saving money seems like a much more enjoyable experience, It's always good to remember the the night and having a good time with pals.
In saying that, there's nothing wrong with getting smashed but lots of people do it to talk to chicks when the real issue is not having enough confidence in real situations - which makes it even worse.
Enjoy it while it lasts. Just wait till you hit your 30's. 3 beers will be felt the next morning.
Once you're in your 40's, 3 beers will give you a hangover if you aren't an alcoholic with a tolerance. There's a reason why you don't see as many older men late night at the bars, drinking makes them feel like shit the next day. The only old dudes out that late pounding down drinks are well on their way to liver problems.
Yeah fair enough, that's a good point. I guess my comment is only really relevant for the younger guys floating around on TRP
LSD is way more powerful and memorable than drinking, imo. Same with other drugs.
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I don't really need a substitute for alcohol.
Not to mention when you go out, your game doesn't get sloppy.
You'll also be able to revisit scenarios more clearly later on.
I used to get so drunk I'd forget how I managed hook up with someone or not remember what I did wrong that blew my chances.
I think the lifting thing is equally important. Men want women to lust for us. Having an amazing body gets their attention, and it's within all of our grasp. Also, being fit boosts your mental abilities, etc. Just one guys opinion.
Another perk is if your the DD in a lot of places you get all your drinks (non-alcoholic of course) for free
What I've learned about nofap, smoking or any act meant to satisfy the need for instant gratification is that it has a psychological effect.I've been having a difficult year of on and off smoking. As soon as I have the first cig of the day I feel a worthlessness come over my whole body. Genuinely wanting to quit anything and knowing all the benefits you will reap, yet failing...is demoralizing.
As soon as I take a few hits I regret it and I feel my confidence drop. As for nofap, the next day I have this void in my chest similar to that sinking feeling. If you can erase the bad habits from your life, they act as building blocks for self worth and confidence. Cut out the unnecessary bullshit to set the foundation. Positive habits will be much easier to add into your life because you know your foundation is strong.
I wonder if it's also a dopamine drain...I'm no brain chemist but I do know the high from actual sex or accomplishing a big goal is far better and longer lasting than fapping or drinking. Not all rushes are the same. Yes and I know my username.
Anticipation of completing your goal spikes dopamine levels which aids in mood and motivation. This is your bodys way of providing you with positive reinforcement to ensure completion of the goal.
Pretend you told yourself you would be tobacco free for 30 days. If you light up a cigarette after 10 days of not smoking, the stress hormone cortisol is released causing anxiety and decreased mood. If you make it to 30 days without lighting up, your dopamine level will peak then drop because you have achieved your goal.
Since dopamine makes you feel so good you will be looking for your next fix. This is the perfect time to start your next goal if you havnt already. If you continue doing what you set out to, the pattern of progress will train your brain with a positive feedback loop. The hunger is born.
The no drinking thing hit home for me. As for dopamine, I think your on to something. Times that I quit drinking for more than three days in a row, I'm just BORED. Nothing intrests me. It's like depression without the saddness.
I've had a hard time feeling any happiness about anything unless I'm into a few beers and joint. The more you practice the easier it gets, same with everything.
And it's much easier to do it sooner. When happiness requires the perfect combination of coke, weed, and whisky. That's when the chemical dependency really hits home.
And that's all bush-league bullshit compared to the heroine and meth crowd.
Fuck drugs
Fuck regularly taking drugs yes...buuuuut, a rave in the deep Australian bush with chill like minded people, MDMA, LSD, psychedelic music and lighting. Worth every second.
I agree, what I mean to say is fuck what happens when a weak personality meets the right drug
I understand that completely. You need a hobby, as do I. Something needs to replace the drinking.
Once you find a hobby it will happen. I hunt and fish, both generally require either an early morning Saturday or Sunday. Pretty much have to choose between getting outdoors or not for the sake of a few drinks and a mediocre night.
I always choose the hobbies now. I got bad FOMO at first but I got over it.
That's seriously wrong.
My advice is at most to drink once a week and only in social settings.
You know the old saying:
"Never drink alone."
And another piece of good advice is to just not buy alcohol at the grocery store. That way the alcohol is not available when you are home. If you want to socialize go to the bar. Learn the drink specials too. I'll order a pitcher of beer for the price of about two or three beers (typical discount) so you save money that way.
Drinking every day is just bad for your system in many ways.
Otoh, alcohol is much more expensive in the bar.
True, but you don't hit the bar for booze. You hit the bar for booze in that social setting. I always viewed that extra cost as simply an added fee to drink there.
Oh I completely agree. But say for instance you're just trying to hang out with your buddies, its way more cost effective to just buy some alcohol and drink at the house as long as you're not footing the entire bill yourself.
Depends on the bar and the state you live in.
For Wisconsin it's about the same.
A pitcher runs $7 (with specials of $4 on Thursdays and Sundays) and each pitcher has about 4-5 beers in it. You could get the same amount for about $5 at the grocery store.
In California that same pitcher might cost $15 or more.
Yeah, and Wisconsin has some of the lowest by the drink taxes in the country if I'm not mistaken. (I'm also originally from there; Go Pack!)
But you're still gonna have a rough time if you drink anything other than draught beer, like wine or scotch.
I think you guys are missing my point because I didn't explain well enough. I replied to a comment about dopamine. The feel good brain chemical. Alcohol makes your brain produce it, right? Stop drinking and it will take a hot minute for your brain to reset, hence boredom. Kind of like when smokers quit, they put on weight through the dopamine replacement diet. Lol, I got a script coming to quit smoking. At the doc appointment, said doc told me to quit drinking beer. He said Whiskey or Wine. I punched him in the face and fucked his wife. I am the Evilleddie and you will fear me as such. These are my minions, (raised fists) Dave and Thurgor. You will fear them also.
And what have you tried filling the boredom with so far?
If you sit at home all day on xbox, of course you will be bored sober. I find it much harder to be bored when my day is filled with activities... Even just a gym, run, starbucks and squash day makes it hard to get bored
No dude, I work 70 hours a week. I dont play video games.
Not much time to get bored then.
if you can control your drinking, is drinking once a month that bad?
What do you think?
It's controlling yourself, everything in life should benefit you in some way. Nothing is inherently bad. When something becomes destructive to your ambition, values, and goals. That's bad.
As long as you don't get so drunk that you send dick pics to your sister.
And there are many forms of self-gratification. Unnecessary apologizing, glancing at your phone, agreeing before you actually agree, masturbating, watching YouTube videos, checking the Reddit front page, playing video games, etc. Cutting out those pleasure-bombs makes everything else in life more enjoyable because you have set the bar for satisfaction at a lower, healthier level. It's like when you cut out added sugar for a while and then have a cake in all of its red velvet glory. You realize how blisteringly sweet and excessive it is and this allows you to appreciate and enjoy the slow-burning, subtle wonders of life and play the long-game instead of the desperate and impatient immediate future.
Yup, to actually enjoy the highs in life you cannot have them all the time. Smoke a blunt when you achieve something, treat yourself to a $100 bottle of whiskey when you get a promotion or hit a major goal. Take a vacation and do nothing but play your favorite video games and masturbate... 1 week out of 52 weeks of hard ass work.
Then you really will enjoy those dopamine pleasure bombs in their full glory. When you design your life to create these constant pulses of micro-pleasure, like constantly snacking, jerking off, watching addictive content, checking your social media, playing video games, etc... you just blunt yourself to the point where you need more and more. Everything becomes more and more boring and it takes more for you to become fully engaged and enthralled by something. You stop really appreciating the indulgences, and you have no motivation to work hard for later pleasure. You can just can the immediate micro-pleasure now.
In the modern day, this is really the heart of BP - addiction to stimulation, the pleasure spikes of being entertained and being validated, and the inability to delay gratification.
Spot-on. Bloopers are usually fat/scrawny and addicted to porn, working shitty jobs and accomplishing nothing with their lives.
This is what happens when you lose sight of your goals in life as a man. As a woman your expectations are already low-- you can cruise by your youth just getting nonstop attention, and you can eventually marry another guy for his money.
As a man, look at what you can potentially aspire to-- being in a high-paying profession, being a major politician, being a warrior, etc. and instead you're at home jacking off/playing video games instead. These are all tools used by a BP system to indoctrinate and keep the stupid down.
I don't care. Red velvet cake is life
Does this comment help anyone? Did it waste your time?
Well you had to read it so I hope it at least wasted some of yours. Dick
The same applies to talking about things you plan to do. Talking too much about your plans gives a similar hormonal reward to actually doing them.
It's best to just shut the fuck up and get stuck in working.
This is very interesting, please elaborate.
I understand the thinking behind it but I heard someone (might have been Trump) mention once you put a goal out there you are now on the hook for it. You must now do it because your a man of your word. That thinking makes much more sense to me.
I never feel bad after fapping. The reason is, I've never considered and still don't consider fapping to be a negative thing. It's really just the feeling that you have that you "shouldn't" that is making you feel bad when you do it. Once you realize that there's nothing wrong with it, and that it can actually be beneficial to prostate and sexual health, you won't feel like a shit person while/after fapping.
Varies from person to person. I feel like shit after I masturbate. Don't know why, I just do. It's not every time I jack off but it's pretty regular. So, for me at least nofap could actually be beneficial.
Yeah for regular people, masturbating is not a problem at all, at worst you feel lazy right after (naturally) and you feel hungry. There's also healthier ways of doing it which include using pure sensation only (which is more red pill as it is in line with meditative experience) and not using porn obviously.
If I dont fap all day it feels like my head is slowly filling up with fog and its hard to focus on things. It also makes me feel anxious. Right after I fap its like I can see clearly again and go on with my day.
You might not feel bad after fapping but it's safe to say you will feel better after an extended period of not fapping. It's not just chemicals, it's also discipline.
I migrated from nofap to Redpill last April.
My porn use is starting to affect me. I did the challenge as a joke and I found it harder than I was expecting. Stopping for 90 days is not easy .
My porn use has made me view some nasty shit, which I won't disclose here due to the immature people saying "Phaggot" to everything.
I've been trying to stop for nearly a year too. I hate it and the sense of uselessness is real.
Lifting is just uncomfortable . But I will come to like it like I did cardio. I hope
I'm still a teenager and I refuse to let porn consume me.
It's kind of off topic, but dude go get yourself a vaporizer. I haven't had a cigarette craving in almost a year. Vaping is up to 95% less harmful than smoking (on mobile or I'd link source), is cheaper, tastes better, and has a dosing system designed to help you taper down on your nicotine to ultimately kick the habit. That way, when you have that insatiable craving, you have a less harmful form to solve it.
This !!! After more than a decade of smoking I am completely smoke free for 5 months coz of vaping. And gradually my vape frequency is dropping too. the shit works. And it is helping countless people.
The worst part about any form of immediate pleasure (shitty diet, fapping, weed/booze) that betas usually partake in is that you're DELAYING your progress to be a better person for such a trivial amount of pleasure.
I remember going through this back when I was losing weight-- I wanted to binge on shitty foods, but I'd often remind myself that I wouldn't get female attention if I kept on with a shitty diet. A year and a half later, before I began to bulk, I was already seeing female attention. It's amazing to get these permanent changes to your body, and it's mind-boggling how deleterious small addictions can be over a long span of time.
This is why betas always idolize pussy. They're stuck in a loop of addictions and, subsequently, women don't give them attention or fuck them. So they hope, one day, they can earn this magical snowflake of a woman-- only to learn later on that they'll marry some dried up, ex-CC whore.
I feel this way when fapping. I feel a significant chunk of testosterone and aggression is lost instantaneously.
I discovered the best way to guard against this is to ween yourself off and eventually cold turkey. You can go back, but only after a significant amount of time (six months). By then, you'll have a disassociated view of what you're doing and can make a better decision.
lmao.. masturbating doesn't lower your testosterone
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Right, but reality says that masturbation doesn't effect your test levels in a significant manner
It does desensitize your brain to dopamine though.
im going to need a citation in order to believe that..
but I don't really care either way lol.
Actually it does both. In a way.
The actual orgasm resets your 7 day testosterone cycle (These graphs can be googled). You also have a daily testosterone cycle that peak from 1am to 9am.
The act of looking at novelty desensitizes dopamine receptors to more natural stimuli, like every day eye contact, driving a car, shooting a basketball, touching women, etc. Novelty on pornography is having multiple tabs open so that you can swap between the different sexual tastes. It's really bad for your brain. Beyond just orgasming, it's one of the worst things you can do for your subconscious, your sex life, and your dopamine will practically blind you. Try shooting a gun after overloading your dopamine receptors. LOL
deleted What is this?
7 day testosterone cycle lol... are you referencing that Chinese study?
even if it did have any effect, it would be a drop in the ocean, assuming you are a healthy male.
the whole 'no fap' thing is just a troll game that a bunch of doughy plebs fall for.
fuck yeah it does... I feel the same dopamine rush from a fap session as I did back when I used to do a lot of pills when I was an addict. The affect isn't as strong as 30mg of Adderall, or that rush feeling when you are about to take a bunch of opiates, but it's unmistakable. It's why I don't masturbate very often, or if I do I try to make it quick, because that feeling is something I'd want to draw out for hours. It's a hell of a lot more fun if I'm drawing it out for hours with a girl, but that won't happen if I jerk off.
You're spot on. Not to mention that, without porn, it's incredibly difficult to jerk off more than a couple times a week. It's a bad cycle between porn and the dopamine reward from masturbating. It really takes both to form a bad habit of it. I've found that simply cutting out the porn is enough to return things to their natural balance.
I sometimes get the feeling that half of the new subscribers in TRP are teenage boys with no idea what they are doing and just downvoting anything that "doesn't sound like fun" to them.
Ahh le old, Hit the gym, quit your job, lawyer up and delete Facebook.
I see you're being voted all over the place.
I laughed out loud and said "What the fuck?!" Can't decide how to vote you so... I'll just reply instead.
What the fuck?!
So hard to quit after a couple. I hear that man. It's a struggle for me, I just ended a 12 hr shift and had a cocktail. Having a smoke right now, even though I am cutting down drastically. Even if it's baby steps in the right direction, keep striving to nip those habits in the ass and control them. Rather than control you. Lifting is super important. When you can lift heavy ass weight (for me) you feel better about your body and yourself.
I'm also struggling to quit smoking. Liquor is easier for me, but that struggle is also real. If I resent anything in life it's starting cigs. What a horrible life move. I think I love cigs. But based on what I've read and been told, that's actually just my mind fucking me. Anyways, tomorrow is another day. Good luck.
Liquor and cigarettes go hand in hand like brother and sister man... i definitely feel your pain.
Very satisfying to see that I do all of the things on your list! Some variables can be mixed up a bit, to anybody reading this post it's okay to alter OP's guidelines. What I do:
1) Fap once a week Friday night, gives me a strong natural high for when I go out Saturday night talk to girls
2) Meditate 20 minutes a day.
3) I also lift 3 times a week.
4) Save money, started riding bike to work and stopped buying drinks when out...
5) ...because I don't drink alcohol either. Or soda, chocolate, lollies, potato chips, cake, ice-cream etc etc.
Sleep: 8+ hours a day.
Guys it's fucking Chad. Listen to him.
Both excellent lists. I would add start eating well. Learn to cook simple healthy meals. Eliminate or severely limit sugars, grains and any food that quickly raises your blood sugar levels. Try green smoothies.
Any chance of having a list of TRP-fitness approved "simple healthy meals" ?
Try the Keto subreddit. The diet changed my life. So much energy and such less craving to eat frequent meals.
I don't know, I don't really need to lose any weight.
are you from new Zealand by chance?
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I started meditating 2 months ago, so I recently did some searching around here for resources. The TLDR version is:
1) Get an app to start guided meditations: The Mindfulness App (recomended by others) Stop, Breahte & Think (App I've used and really enjoy)
2) Read this PDF: http://www.urbandharma.org/pdf2/Mindfulness%20in%20Plain%20English%20Book%20Preview.pdf If you want more info, get searching ;)
Headspace really helped me. Check it out.
Thanks for that, really appreciate it.
Worth the cost? It's only about £4/m at the moment and I've enjoyed the free ten days, but haven't looked into whether free alternatives are just as good.
I use calm. No talking just the sound of the sea.
It's ridiculous. Something that struck me was a comment in a video a few nights ago... "how can we practice not thinking... without thinking about it?". I was there when I started reading about meditation, 5+ years ago.
Stop. Just focus your vision on something for 1 second. Then 2. Then 4. Then 8. Now continue doubling numbers for the rest of your life. Remain focused. "Eye on the ball".
I was in the same situation as you a few weeks ago. My best advice is to get your room or wherever you are as dark as possible. Even go as far as to unplug those little LED lights on your cable box/alarm clock that emit light. Once it's dark enough you want to eliminate any noise distractions. This is the hardest part for me because the folks I live with like to keep the TV fairly loud and it's not like I'm going to make them turn it off so I can meditate so I bought a pair of noise cancelling headphones to block out sound. Now that wherever you are is dark and quiet, sit somewhere that supports your back (comfortable chair / on your bed with your back against the wall) and get comfortable. I like to sit on my bed against my wall with my legs crossed. If you can't get comfortable that way you can even lay down but I never had much success with that method and usually end up falling asleep. Once you're in a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. I like to breathe only through my nose and I count "one, two' for each inhale and exhale. Just focus on counting "one, two" and nothing else. You want to get your heart rate as slow as possible. You're going to have tons of thoughts running around your head and that's ok at first, sometimes it takes me 20 - 30 minutes before I can really reach the point where my mind quiets down. The key is to stick with it until eventually your heart rate slows down enough and you feel the clam envelope your body. Once you reach that state just continue focusing on your breathing until you get into a meditative state. You will know when you get into the state, I can't explain the feeling but you will definitely know when you're in it. Just stay persistent, don't get frustrated at first when all of those thoughts are flowing through your head. That's the best advice I can give based on my experience but there are tons of other methods out there, that just happens to work best for me.
I usually do this fine, but once the clam envelopes my body, I panic, the heart rate elevates back up, and all the thoughts come rushing back in all because I don't want to be eaten alive and turned into a man-shaped pearl.
Maybe I'm using the wrong soundtrack. Sea sounds bring the clams? I'll switch to wind in the trees.
I'll save you a lot of time and say to become aware of the breath at first. So breathe in, breathe out, say 1 in your head then breathe in breathe out, say 2 in your head etc.. with no other thoughts except that, and you'll quickly realize that you can't even get to ten without drifting away.
And when this happens you know you have to do it because you aren't even in control of your mind.
"the mind is a great servant but a lousy master"
I've written about this book in another comment, but here is the link again. I started reading this recently and it's simply the one single book you need. It's an actual, proper manual from beginning to highly advanced meditation. No other book comes even close to it. I can't recommend it high enough.
Try "mindfulness in plain english", "the power of now" (I liked the audiobook) and r / meditation.
Impossible not to overthink it. (precisely the point) Sit/lay down. Become aware of your breathe and/or heartbeat. Do not attempt to control them, unless in the beginning you choose to do some deep breathing to calm your self. Focus on the physical sensations. When you notice your mind isn't focused on your heart or your nostrils/lungs, graciously(graciously....) bring it back home. The last part is where it's at.
Meditation is presence. Meditation is awareness. And stillness. Maintaining focus on the now, or the immediate moment, is shared in common by many types of meditation. Active thought subsides, and you enter the beginning of a different state of consciousness.
Some people sing om, count, or focus on breath. You can meditate while walking, stretching, even athletics. But you will be able to go deeper if your body is still and relaxed. The commonality between the various types is presence and stillness of the mind.
That's where I think most people should start. Tyler from R&D has a good video on meditation.
Lift no more than three times a week?
Let me assure you that benefits may be made lifting 5-6 times a week without the use of steroids.
If anything I found more progress (in terms of pure hypertrophy) with volume than anything else.
As long as you're eating nutritious food and following a decent macro split, sleeping and resting properly and using proper form, you should have no issues lifting more than 3 times a week.
Can confirm, in my 2nd year of training I got that New Years Resolution boost and trained 5-7 times a week for 6 months. I felt amazing, had great results, had more energy and loved myself and thus life.
Then I made the mistake of sacrificing training time for work. It's a downward spiral from there. Not doing that mistake again.
You're doing one extreme or the other. I can assume you that you will get nearly the same results going 3-4 times a week. If you need more than that then you're not lifting heavy enough. There's more time efficient ways to do things and more efficient ways of spending your time.
All of you just sound short-sighted naming X days of the week and not mentioning total hours. You don't sound any smarter than anyone, you're leaving out just as much info.
I lift around 8-10 hours/week - 2 big weekend workouts (powerlifting + hypertrophy), then during the week another 2-3 workouts of about 1hr each (5-8 rep work). While resting I meal plan, search for recipes, chat on Facebook, update my Instagram, all that stuff. Or just waste time on Reddit. For the purpose of full disclosure I'm a 3-4-5/1200+ guy who is not 220+ class or anywhere close.
If you're only lifting 3 days/week and you're dumb enough to do, say, Starting Strength but only rest 1-2 minutes betoween sets, you're only going to make noob gainz and then smack into a wall. You can't rush strength training. And hypertrophy training will only make you so strong. But I digress.
Hours is the focus, along with efficiency. A 5 minute rest between heavy deadlift doubles is 1 thing; a 10 minute rest between sets chatting with your buddies in-between doing your 4x12 hypertrophy split is another.
Hey man, I'm a total newbie, what's a good place to get all the info for lifting necessary? Specially to get started, from reading your post there seems to be a lot to it.
I really like BodyRecomposition.com - look around there and read up on fat loss, muscle gain, hypertrophy, powerlifting, etc.
Everyone has different goals - mine are powerlifting and bodybuilding, not much else. I don't want elite cardio, or 'functional' strength, or to do acrobatics. I want to be really damn good at 3 lifts while looking like a beast. Your goals might be different but that site has something for everyone
I've got the same goal in mind. What looks a bit daunting is getting a good lifting routine (exercises) fit for me, I've read a bunch of different stuff about it online and different "beginner routines" that read like a recipe.
For now i guess i'll just go with the routine by the gym instructor, which may be mediocre but anything will give me some sort of result.
I lift 2 hours/week. 3x 40 minutes, sometimes 45 minutes and also above 1200lbs total. What's your point?
You missed the whole "minimal effort". Sure you can workout 10 hours/week but more than half your effort is wasted.
Yeah, you don't need to be working out more than 1-2 hours. Any more than that and you're just dicking around at the gym.
How much ya Bench champ? Let's see you do a 5x3 of deadlift, all 400-500+ with 2m rest. THEN do the rest of your Back workout plus stretching and cardio. Good luck with that.
Fucking dyels, man...
And without doxing yourself, rough estimate of your weight? I'm well under 220, 2x bodyweight squat, 2.5x deadlift, and Bench is...hmm....some few dozen lbs over 1.5x BW. All raw lifts, ipl approved, no knee wraps, below parallel, pause Bench, etc.
Need more details dude. Nobody cares if you weigh 300lbs and Bench 300, or if you quarter rep 600lbs on squat
I'm including OHP in my 1200 total and I'm approx 170lbs in the single digit bf%. Best lift is probably DL at 3x bodyweight.
You mean resting between sets or resting as in "day off" ?
Between sets, lots of time to kill. 4-5 minute rest, depending on the lift
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That falls under the "more efficient ways of using your time" category.
Bro if you haven't been in the military you can't ever know the pleasure of signing away your human rights and freedom in exchange for currency.
Hey man, I still have 10 hours of free time per week and I choose to go to a room and repeatedly pick up metal objects with that time!
Even if you're not following a decent macro, just get some protein in, bust your fucking ass in the gym, and you'll get results.
And even with steroids, you aren't gonna accomplish shit without enough sleep. If anything, I find I need MORE sleep while on cycle, going from 8 to 10+ hours a day.
Op talking about minimum effective dose. You don't have shit else to do except lifting weights, then it's fine. But you should really consider getting another hobby like boxing or something as well. Lifting seven days a week and not being a professional bodybuilder reveals how little you got going in your life.
Maybe some people really enjoy lifting everyday. Some people drink everyday, or smoke 20 little cigarettes everyday, or sit and eat in front of the tv after 9:00 pm...
I cannot belittle someone for finding personal enjoyment in something that's a healthy part of life.
Different extremes for different people: no doubt. However... Who the fuck am I to judge. I am here to educate myself on people sharing things that make them personally satisfied with life. Some people are doing a hell of an amazing thing by sharing ideas and things that work in life.
Are they right 100% of the time? I don't know... I haven't tried all of them to be quiet honest with you... However historically speaking... Some of these people have some amazing track records... That is what I am looking for.
Do you need to be a TV critic to enjoy watching TV 2+hrs a day?
How about the restaurant you love so much and recommended to Jill the other week. Is your love of food paying your bills brah? You a food critic?
Do you play guitar professionally? Are you a pro tennis player? Have you sold your workshop projects before?
Lifting is love man. Best results are when you do it right. And to do it right is to understand what works and what doesn't.
If you want to get minimum things all your life, go ahead. I hate the idea of minimum. We're different like that.
Nothing else going on in my life? Sure. Why not. But lifting... it's easy. It's almost a reflex. You watch what you eat, you lift with the right form, and you hit your whole body and rest proper. It's simple.
I sincerely hope that others do not follow in your mindset. It's rather.... toxic? Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you; this is the internet afterall.
But my hobbies are my hobbies. And I'm good at them.
Don't assume it's everything I am. You don't know me brah.
You're being a bitch now. Op discussing miminum effective dose, which you commented on. Where the fuck did we discuss love or hobby. Gtfo
The OP might be doing full body every time, who knows, but that's why the generic advice about fitness people give here is way too cookie cutter for individuals. General rule of thumb: nobody should be taking fitness advice off TRP other than "start lifting." Go to the proper source for such information and do something that's goal oriented.
I always see posts saying "lift x times a week" and it's utter shit for anybody who's past their first month of lifting.
Gained 15 kg of muscle only in my first year by going 5-6 days per week, eating healthy and stopping with the booze. There is no reason not to train daily, or at least try to. Even in the rest day you can do stretching and cardio, which helps a lot.
Confirmed. I have been doing two-a-day workouts for a month now. It's just a 12-week program then I will cut it back, but my gains and attitude changes are greatly enhanced, and I've been lifting for 20+ years.
I get up at 5am to lift, so getting in 6 per week is no problem.
Agreed, I can do 5x/wk no problem aside from time... my gym is in the same building as my office, but those weeks still easily burn 10 hours. I do 1-2 heavy barbell lifts + 1-3 supersets after 10 minutes of running, finishing with a shower. I eat like a king, and am accordingly broke. I could easily save mad dough by cooking at home, but life situation isn't conducive to that right now. People respect my eating skillz, they don't know how much I lift. Eggs and refried beans fill in calories.
Add weed to the list. As a side to alcohol. Many replace excessive drinking with smoking.
Weed makes you docile. Being docile making you weak.
Amazing post.
Indica weed makes you docile, Sativa wakes your resting Picasso. I code like a motherfucker Cali-blunted as fuck. Didn't start till late '20s. Certifiably not a case of over-estimating ability, sober self can read source code history. "Write stoned, edit sober"... the best philosophy. Gin doesn't hurt much either.
Careful of the Ballmer Peak.
How can you tell the difference before you smoke?
I don't understand. There's a very quick change of feeling after the first puff. If you don't smoke much it's overwhelming, first few weeks of being a regular smoker I was in the atmosphere somewhere. Got it for depression after layoff from a startup I was way over-invested in and girl leaving, beginning of RP journey. After becoming a daily smoker all the overwhelming feeling is gone, and doing things like using a nice glass ice water bong (that I clean after every single use), smoking is a very clean experience with consistent effects. I usually have 2 strains on hand, one of each, that the bud tenders at the medical dispensaries help me pick (just like a bar tender).
Edit: I am from the midwest, before I moved west I refused to associate with degenerate weed smokers... this turn would have been incomprehensible. But then I met all these stoners from Apple, Google, nVidia, Yelp, NASA Ames, etc etc and I was like "wut?"... The FBI also has a hard time recruiting, because a lot of the best engineers smoke
Weed doesn't make me paranoid, docile or weak. I don't spend a lot of money on it and I still lift 3-4 times a week plus regularly exercise. Don't drink at all either, but weed isn't the detriment that you think it is.
It depends on the person. It certainly makes me docile. It's unfortunate that I am mentally addicted to it. I've quit before, and it's so hard the first week (especially if all of your friends smoke), but after that it's easy because you're used to it
Yeah that's true, it affects different people in different ways... a bunch of my friends and my ex smoked it daily so that habit stuck with me. I didn't let it consume me though, you still need to do shit for life and be a productive member of society and shit... just smoke some banga to relax in the evening ;). A lot of it is mental too, it's easy to become dependant on it, I understand that as well. Quitting is always hard in the beginning before you get accustomed to the changes physically and mentally
Do you feel off the day after smoking? I've been smoking weed casually (once every few weeks) on and off for the last couple years and only recently I've started to feel really cloudy and absent minded the day after, finding it hard to concentrate and day dreaming a lot. Should mention recently it's been more like 1-2 times a week that I smoke seeing as it's summer holidays where I am
Nope I feel fine. The key to getting over the groggy feeling is to push through it. If I feel myself slowing down or feeling laggy then I pick myself up and exercise or at least do low intensity exercise to get myself moving. You have to constantly subconsciously fight against the absent mindedness by keeping yourself preoccupied mentally. I find reading, photography and continuous life planning help me with that
What's the point of smoking in the first place then?
The idea is that once you push through the initial tiredness (Which only happens for me if i sleep while still really baked) You then go back to normal energy levels. its not like a hangover where youre going to be laying in bed dying all day no matter what.
Moderation is key too.
It feels nice and helps me relax... but Cyco pretty much sums it up there. Moderation is key. I don't do like huge bong rips or fat blunts on the regular. (I mean, those are fantastic and all) but Just a small, controlled amount. Helps me feel nice and smooth. If you do it in controlled moderated amounts weed can be infinitely pleasurable. And you can take it via edibles too which are pretty good in the right doses.
I do sophisticated or mundane tasks (depending on what I need to do) all while high and no one can tell. I don't seem super stoned, I'm coherent, my reaction time is on point and I'm not a complete shit. So I try to maintain an acceptable level that still lets me feel nice from the weed, but also baked under the radar enough to perform tasks for life and make it seem completely normal. Eyes naturally clear up after like 7 minutes.
I have a habitual simple cleanup method that I engage in after I smoke to nullify the smell and effect completely... it's really a beautifully insane balance. But I can take it and it feels good... so I exercise and workout afterwards as well. It really feels nice to stretch my muscles while under the smooth replenishing effects of the dro. Keep your mind strong even through the haze and it's fucking like you find a spark to keep going. It numbs the pain, pushes you forward, and gives you the determination to make it.
That makes good sense, thank you for the advice
Don't forget the crippling paranoia and anxiety
it's hilarious that people still think this happens if you're educated in your usage.
Can you elaborate on being educated with your dosage? I've recently started to feel really cloudy and absent minded the day after smoking weed
I feel the same if I go to sleep high. The next day I will have this 'fog', but I started to realise I was just still a little high. Once you embrace this, I found it pretty easy to power through the laziness.
Makes sense, I might just try to not smoke too late in the night/ right before sleeping so I'm not feeling the effects as much the next day. Cheers
dont go to sleep stoned, and don't smoke every day if you don't need to. I smoke for medical purposes (not cannabis flowers, but concentrates usually)so I smoke daily, and eventually the 2nd day tired thing goes away. Also, if you only smoke a little bit you can smoke right before bed and not feel groggy in the morning.
Alright thanks for the tip
Adjust intake according to your tolerance man. Everyone is different
Maybe it started with smoking cones everyday, but I haven't done that for years. These days I can smoke about one joint safely without feeling uncomfortable, and I can't be around people. I'll smoke one if I stay in on a weekend, that's about it for me currently. Never been happier
Another suggestion I would add is to read books.
I'm pretty curious about starting up meditation. Would you be willing to share any examples of some of the problems you didn't see before?
I'm not OP, but when you start to meditate more often you get better at frequently recognizing what it is you're thinking. You start to see that when you get scared of opportunity or failure, or disappointed in yourself that you're having an automatic negative thought. "Ah, there I go again, judging myself. I don't have to do that right now. What's right in front of me?"
Imagine if you didn't cut yourself off from thinking. Past, future, judgement, rumination, blah blah blah. Your voice in your head can go on for your entire life. Meditation helps with recognizing what you're thinking without judging it, and then letting it go. You aren't repressing it and trying to force it away, but you aren't entertaining it either. You're just watching thoughts come up and go, like clouds drifting on a summer afternoon. The longer you watch the clouds, the sooner most of them go away.
The thing is, the process is long and confusing at first. When you meditate regularly, not only does the process happen much faster, but you don't have to do it as much since you're focused on the present moment. It's like when you run so much that you get faster: If I hate running but I have to run a mile, I'd rather run it in 5 minutes than 10 minutes. That's 50% less running! Similarly, in meditation the more you practice sitting in the present moment, the more it becomes automatic and filters into the rest of your life, clarifying your thinking and expanding your ability to focus on what truly matters to you. Your emotions get the volume turned down, your reactivity gets delayed for you to think about it if you want, and you get more in touch with yourself.
I totally agree with that mindset, the thought runs through my head every day on the 5-10 minute treadmill run.
I added a warmup run to the beginning of my workout 4 months ago. I'm well under 10 minute miles now, but when I started... I couldn't do a mile. I was in decent shape otherwise, not too skinny-fat.
Small optimizations. I've dropped to 0.5mi most days, and am well under 5 minutes including warmups. One mile is approaching 9min including warmup. I haven't timed very accurately. But working on form, breathing, gate for 5-10 minutes, 4-5x/wk, ends up being substantial practice, in the form of a warmup. Bonus, 5 minutes of presence and body awareness in still motion. Kind of like floating.
This is probably one of the best explanations i've seen, whenever looking up meditation people always keep it vague and talk about meditating with some sort of audio or whatever and that's confusing as hell, they always talk about how great it is but never about what's the point to it or how you accomplish results.
There are many ways to meditate. Directed meditation is a good place to start.
https://www.youtube.com/user/thereachapproach
My personal favourite: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvF7m4gUi3o
Nofap doesn't do anything for me. Oh wait, it makes me have nocturnal emissions, that's about it.
Break a tooth, keep it under your pillow and sleep naked. Worked for me.
Great post. I wholeheartedly agree with the no-fap and no alcohol. I live in Vietnam and also work with a bunch of Korean guys and drinking "Vietnamese wine" and/or “Soju” (rice wine like Japanese Sake) is a big thing. These guys will actually make themselves throw up in the bathroom so they can come back to the table and prove how much of a “man” they are. They have finally given up on trying to get me to drink it. I have stuck to my guns. I lift and tower over all of them so I don't think they think lesser of me for it. Probably think more of me since I can tell them to fuck off about it. Not that I care though. Regarding no-fap, my Vietnamese girlfriend is amazed at my ability in the sack. We have an on-going joke that started the first time she asked me how I could fuck 10 times in a weekend and I explained that Superman doesn't know WHY he can fly, just THAT he can fly. So after a good fuck session she'll say "you just fly?" It's awesome! The guys that preach against it are in denial because they don't want to quit. I wish I would have figured this out early in life. I owe it all to TRP.
Yeah, man, those vietnamese girls sure know how to make you feel like 'the man'. Submissive and always there to please you, praise you and compliment something about you. Almost a lost art in the western world.
My girl was literally spoon-feeding me without eating herself, saying she can always eat after she's sure I'm fully stuffed. She would get upset if I wouldn't let her spoil me. In bed also. I miss that in a woman.
I heard the same thing from guys who have been over there. This guy told me his main complaint was that every guy who came out to korea to work under him would end up leaving his wife. They didn't want to go home any more. Then the wives would call him and bitch him out about it.
I heard the same thing about Brazil. I even heard that a manager in the company made a rule that if you were cheating on your wife he'd send you home. Not because he was religious or a family man, but because the chaos it caused was interfering with work. I don't even think that is legal and I doubt it was enforced too hard, but I thought it was hilarious.
I live in Cambodia. They sure did get drunk as hell yesterday for the NY. I'm with a new girl. So she texts me and says she loves my dick because when she came home she hurt and bled a lot. And asks if she can she come back today. Says she will drink a lot so she doesn't feel pain.
Pretty fucked up really, since I'm not at all into all that dominance and stuff. That's what I like about Asian girls. They just want to be respected and treated well and be with someone that doesn't hit them. None of all that degrading stuff that's become so popular with Western girls: slap me, tell me I'm a worthless whore, hold me down, pretend like you rape me, yap yap yap.
Never add on Facebook though. They have absolutely no filter, will tag you on photos at places you never were, and talk about their feelings like there's no tomorrow. Western girls will post a photo if they'd done something, like a trip to Paris or a good restuarent or something like that which nobody gives a shit about. Cambodia girls have no money to experience stuff, so they just talk about their feelings.
The vast majority of women, be they Western or Eastern, want to be used like a Khaleesi fuck piece. The predictability of it has become boring.
You're right. I got into the whole dominance, rough her up in bed thing and thought it was sexy as hell that women loved to be used like a piece of meat. Now that I realize it's all women, it's just... routine.
Where in Vietnam do you live? I have a vietnamese girl too.
In the North 5 hours by car East of Hanoi. 1 hour East of Ha Long Bay. Do you live in Vietnam or are you dating an "overseas" Vietnamese girl?
overseas, but all of her family is back there
way to jump to assumptions and disqualification ("they are in denial") for no reason. You are acting like a girl hamstering away her beliefs.
I realize it's an assumption but it is my assumption. I also realize it's a very general statement. I'm sure there are exceptions, but it's most likely true for most of the people. If it's not true for you, then you have nothing to fear. Jerk it!
Okay it's just silly to get into that cult mentality. I did abstinence for a whole month for kicks and giggles without even knowing nofap was a thing, and i didn't feel the slightest difference in my mood etc.
I fully agree about cult mentalities and their dangers. One thing to consider is PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) may affect others much more than you. Some of these guys can't even get it up without porn so they're in deep. I never had that problem but it did affect my sex drive with my then-wife so it was a big enough problem that I needed to make a change.
I honestly think masturbating is like a similar negative feedback loop to losing a fight.
When you win a fight or any meaningful competition, your body produces more testosterone, and keeps producing it. When you lose, it produces less. This is shown in small studies in humans, and is very well known in the animal kingdom in apes. This is why alpha males are usually a lot bigger. Not only because they are the biggest to begin with, but being alpha in itself (winning fights against others who want to test you) keeps your test up, and lowers theirs (to lower aggression, less chance of injury by fighting against those you lose against).
Similarily, I think there are two paths. Either when you get horny, you're alpha and fuck a bitch. Or 2, you're horny, and you jerk one off. One I believe teaches you to properly pursue women when horny and you learn true abundance mentality, the other you learn to supress the urge to find and fuck women, and kill it in it's tracks by jerking off.
I think the second option, when completely removed, and if you do consistently fuck, should be the only option. I think masturbating is only alright if you are going to be celibate for a few months. Otherwise, I think it has negative mental consequences.
masturbating doesn't lower testosterone...
Scientifically but when do you feel like lifting weight more? When you bust a nut or when your balls are huge?
It does if you don't rest lol. Testosterone peaks after like a week of not Cumming.
for like.. a day.
it's not enough to have any measurable effect on anything.
Your T continually grows everyday and it becomes noticeably different towards your peak. I cycle gym time with this because my aggression peaks and helps me move big weights.
There are other side effects to not masturbating other than T as well that can be used.
Lol.. I can't tell if you're joking or not.
Why would I be joking. I'm telling you there is noticeable difference.
Don't masturbate or even look at a naked picture of a girl for a few months and tell me you won't be sealing the deal on sex. Masturbating isn't all bad but it used negatively by guys a majority of the time, I don't understand what you're arguing about.
I become a pussy Hound if I don't masturbate. This leads to abundance. Abundance leads to hotter women and a better feeling self.
You gain around 30% more testosterone after 2 weeks of no ejaculation.
Google it. Something to think about if you're bodybuilding
im trying to think of a way to say 'you're fucking retarded' without sounding like a dick.
Okay..thought we were having a discussion, where we can share knowledge.. but I guess not. Good day sir.
That will not change your potential for muscle gain one bit.
Really? Have any data on that? I keep reading that more testosterone helps muscle growth. If im wrong please explain
This is some serious mental gymnastics right here.
I know you are digging for a reasoning as to why jacking off too much makes you weak, and you're right, but your're climbing up the wrong tree.
What happens in the wild with animals when a beta male loses to impress the female? The alpha male fucks her right there in front of you.
Be the alpha, do porn. No, not really lol it's shit pay, but you get the message.
I've been celebate for all my life, due to my beliefs and my current situation (I am a 17 year old homeschooler). I've been 100 percent masturbation free for the past 6 months despite that. The only downsides I've experienced are occasional bouts of depression and nothing to do about being horny. The benefits are increased energy and drive to get shit done, which I personally believe far outweigh the short term discomfort of not fucking myself.
Edit: I had to edit a lot.
I would seriously consider adding a hobby to your life, something that you can show passion about. This will give you something to not only take you away from your vices but also something you can use in social situations.
Good list. Every one of the 5 things involves...learning a measure of discipline and self-control. That self-control (aka self improvement) will overflow into other areas of your life. That's why lifting is so important. Sure you get strong, but you learn mental strength as well. Many indirect benefits in this list.
Just a quick recommendation: I just bought this book and started reading it recently. And I can already say: everybody who wants to optimize their time investment in meditation has to read this book. Meditation has its perks, even without knowing what to do exactly. I did this for a year now.
But ...
There's a difference between doing 40 pushups a day and doing a proper full-body barbell training program. This book is that full-body training program for meditation. It's an actual manual, it explains exactly what to do, describes everything in an incredibly clear and precise way, and it also tells you exactly why to do it. It explains in detail the different steps, what problems you will encounter, why they come up and how to overcome them. It shows you the end goal as well. And it describes precisely how cognitive processes work, down to the level of individual brain regions, and how meditation interacts and transforms how the brain works. It's as close to your own personal 24-hour meditation coach as it can possibly be.
Cool, thanks man. Ive always been interested in meditation like you and i read a similar book called buddhas brain. It was all about the scienctific evidence supporting the benefits of meditation
Yes. It has received wide acclaim from 'Meditation' too. It's quite costly though, at least in India as compared to other meditation books.
This will get you in to a lot of trouble.
Yup, taking advantage blah blah. Get head in the bathroom of the club - don't take them home.
I try not to be savage about it, I'd honestly prefer going home and jerking off to getting involved to any degree with a drunk chick while I'm sober.
Edit this for tone, post it in No Fap and be a hero. You could probably trickle 100 people to tRP.
Tbh there's more and more overlap with nofap and redpill nowadays. It's great.
Or I can do what I want and not have a bunch of idiots online tell me how to be cool
Then don't listen to him and see where you end up, then post about it
then you shouldn't be on this sub. that's the point of it after all
Why are you even on the red pill subreddit then?
This is me. But the craziest part is it feels easy today. There is minimal effort involved in doing them all. I've slowly made effort towards each of these to the point where they are part of who I am.
All that to say, the culmination had been this last week. I hit 90 days nofap, and I am a rock in social settings. It is unbelievable. Everything in this post is the bedrock.
Where do i start with meditating?
Here is a good guided meditation to start you off: https://youtu.be/pzMhLmErz5Q
So how do you avoid the fap, when you are a dude who cums early? I am not confident in my dick to not blow up pre maturely if I do not rub one out beforehand , especially with a newer chick.
Kegels, They aren't just for women man
Some people report that cumming early was actually attributed to porn induced premature ejaculation. Abstaining from any sort of masturbation for 3-4 weeks is enough to treat this, however it might not work for some.
srs question- if you hold off for a few weeks, but masturbate on the day you have sex (to potentially make you last longer) will that mess it all up?
Girls like when guys shoot big loads, so yes
Get a blowjob first so the cum doesn't go to waste in the condom, I did that when I was new
This is a great post! thanks OP. Ive been doing quite the amount of research on the negative side effects and the addiction of porn and the effect on people. There is an interview of Ted Bundy (serial killer) speaking about the dangers and harm of porn, and being addicted to porn. He says that all the serial killers in prison that he knows have all been addicted to porn. So where does this tie into your post you might ask? Its the giving up instant gratification, wether its porn,fapping,smoking etc
so i totally agree with your post, These five things i would say are directly conducive to success and overall happiness.
Bravo
Its funny because this is more or less what we were told as adolescents and young adults about how to be "good". Dont drink, get plenty of exercise, dont play with yourself so much, budget your money.
Except meditate I guess. But even that... in elementary I remember teachers showing us "breathing exercises" and "concentration techniques" for some reason.
I genuinely need to know... How important is sleep? I'm pretty sure I have a subtle sleep apnea and even when I sleep, I don't feel rested. So, often, I just get a minimum of 3-5 hours of sleep or so (Since 8 hrs doesn't get me any more rested). Could you go in detail a little more about the affects of sleep and what it does to improve you (besides brain function).
And NoFAP is freaking great. I actually don't need to jerk (enough plates), but before those plates, I quit and it pushed me to actually get some.
Quality sleep is VERY important. I believe it is fundamental to good health, and far too often ignored. It is a bad idea to caffinate your way through life (IMHO).
If you suspect you have sleep apnea, talk with your doctor and get a sleep study done! Sleep apnea can be fatal and can affect many aspects of your health.
It's actually pretty damn important. You shouldn't need to look hard to find good, reputable studies to show how beneficial it is. The thing is, they are finding that sleep deprivation affects a lot more than we thought it did. Things such a food choices, energy, comprehension, social skills, etc.
Mike Cernovich had a well known sleep doctor on his podcast a while ago, I can't remember the episode. It was amazing the amount of stuff that lack of sleep does to the body.
Sleep is very important, I don't sleep well either so a few years ago I took a sleep study and they said that I was more alert than I should have been but that I didn't have any specific condition. You may be the same way but if you have good insurance it's good to get it checked out. I have to get at least 8 hours of sleep to feel even halfway rested, I wake up about every 90 minutes or so but usually go right back to sleep.
Here is some info on sleep and test - http://www.anabolicmen.com/sleep-testosterone/
I've also read that Midnight to 6am is when most of your testosterone is created in the body but only if you're asleep, or your body is much more efficient at creating test if you're sleeping- I forget which.
Hey my man, I thought i had sleep apnea as well, so i got a polysomnography done (sleep study), they are expensive but insurance may cover it (mine did). I do not have sleep apnea, but they found a disturbance in my REM sleep which may be linked with depression and stuff. So I'd suggest you go get a sleep study done, and in case you have some sleep disturbance like sleep apnea, it's super easy to fix and your life will improve a bunch.
Yes, I can get a sleep study done for next to nothing here in Japan. The first time I went to the sleep clinic, they wanted to treat me for depression, but I hate taking anti-depressants, the side effects usually bother me more than the slight depression (which barely exists nowadays anyway). Thanks for the FR on your case.
No-Fap, Stop Drinking, Don't spend money.....get real
Thanks for the guide. I'd add one thing: do something you enjoy doing, and can be the best at. I have really shitty times when I'm just out partying and having fun. It's okay to coast for a while, but you need to be adding to the world. We call it inner game here, 7-habits calls it character ethic vs. personality ethic. The former is having a substantial body and accomplishments that make you walk tall, while the latter is simply emulating those characteristics... "fake it till you make it" works to a degree, but you still need to "stay in your lane."
Edging is the way to go, IMO. For me, it tends to stimulate additional sperm/semen production, and when I see my girl I launch her like a water rocket.
What's edging ? Pleasuring yourself without releasing the kraken ?
Yep, bring yourself right up to that point of no return, then stop. Takes a lot of discipline to stop.
How old are you and what's your line of work if I may ask ?
And what's the deal about gin protecting gainz ?
I'm early 30s and a software engineer.
Can't work hard the next day when hung over.
You're supposed to jerk off at the very least five times a week. If you don't, at least try to drink a glass of red wine per evening. If you don't feel like doing either of these things... check yourself often for testicular cancer before 35 years old...
Marc Garnick, M.D., Harvard Medical School Annual Report
Study 1: 29,342 men between the ages of 46 and 81 reported their average number of ejaculations per month in young adulthood (ages 20–29), in mid-life (ages 40–49), and in the most recent year. Ejaculations included sexual intercourse, nocturnal emissions, and masturbation. Study participants also provided comprehensive health and lifestyle data every two years from 1992 to 2000. The scientists found that men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 33% lower risk of prostate cancer compared with men who reported four to seven ejaculations a month throughout their lifetimes.
Leitzmann MF, Platz EA, Stampfer MJ, et al. Ejaculation Frequency and Subsequent Risk of Prostate Cancer. Journal of the American Medical Association 2004;291:1578–86. PMID: 15069045.
Study 2: 2,338 men came to a similar conclusion. In all, men who averaged 4.6 to seven ejaculations a week were 36% less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer before the age of 70 than men who ejaculated less than 2.3 times a week on average. The study found no connection between prostate cancer and the number of sex partners.
Further study is needed to investigate possible protective mechanisms. In theory, emptying the prostate of potentially irritating or harmful substances might be one such mechanism.
Giles GG, Severi G, English ER, et al. Sexual Factors and Prostate Cancer. BJU International 2003;92:211–16. PMID: 12887469.
Hey, just to make a few things clear about the important study, the first one.
First off, keep in mind that the study found that for the groups you mention, there was ~50% lower risk for low-grade cancer but ~75% higher risk of high-grade. This adds up to the "33% lower" you mentioned but in essense, and if the results are correct, ejaculating 21+ times per month might decrease the chance to get prostate cancer but increases the chance to die from it.
In the updated results of this study for 2015, it's again ~33% lower risk but without taking into account the high-grade cancer anymore. So they updated their result of low grade cancer, from ~50% lower risk to ~33%.
Finally, i should add that, like the quote above, media also cherry-picked those same groups, comparing 4-7 ejaculations with 21+ ejaculations. If they had chosen a different group things would have been weird. For instance, in most categories the risk of prostate cancer is shown to be lower for 0-3 ejaculations per month, comparing with 13-20 ejaculations.
Any reliable source that supports this extraordinary claim?
You're not supposed to jerk off 5 times a week, your supposed to ejaculate 5 times a week.
Emptying the prostate at least 21 times a month by having sex should be the advice here.
Oh please, keep the nofap religious cult shit out of here. Its placebo at best.
Yes. Please this. Seconded. Fapping is only a bad thing if you have been conditioned to believe it is a bad thing. I don't have negative associations with fapping, so I don't feel like a shitty person after fapping. I feel great.
Nowadays, my load usually ends up on my GF's face or in her mouth, anyway.
Bullshit. You're just in denial because you don't have the self control to give it up.
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I notice if I jerk off a lot I get unmotivated as hell, and my hornyness goes down the gutter. And I've been doing nofap both on steroids and as a natural, so it's not the testosterone BS.
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The idea is more of a noporn then of nofap
BS, when I cut out the fap I feel totally at ease and much more solid. Instinctively before reading any of that I always avoided fap for a good 2 weeks prior to any party/date and big fun events and the girls seem attracted like magnets. Bottomline i'd rather cultivate that energy.
Yea that is what placebo means
Its not even that hard to workout 5-6 days a week. Me and ony of my best friends we lift monday wed friday, do cardio and abs on tuesday thursday saturday. We do it when he gets off work at like 8:45-9 pm for about an hour or more, relax, eat a bit and sleep. I feel it has helped me sleep better because it gets me tired helps me sleep easy, post workout shower then knock out right after is great.
favourited. Also feelings the benefits of no fap. 7 days atm free as opposed to daily.
I agree about mediation. I'm in the process of working on my mental health. I've started to listen to a lot of trip hop which keeps my mind clear. Dwelling on the past and thinking about the future is hindering me from reaching my full potential. I took a stress management class and visual/auditory mediation felt amazing after one session.
As for jerking off, I think it's completely normal as long as it's not a compulsion. I think porn is more of a problem then jerking it. I challenge you to try to jerking it without porn. Chances are you are not going to cum for the first couple days/weeks.
Any tips on good non-weight exercise routines. Saving a good lump some of money is infringing on my lifting plus I have no interest into getting into any gym commitments at the moment.
Most around these parts are just social clubs guising as gyms with tanning booths and "Pizza Fridays" I kid you not.
The recommended routine on r / bodyweightfitness
Much appreciated. Just what I had in mind.
Insanity (Beachbody) workout has done wonders for me. best shape of my life at 45 years old. Highly recommended. Need nothing but something to play a video and some space. I've done workouts in hotel rooms even.
Isn't this some type of DVD collection? Is it really that effective?
Bookmarking and printing this. Wonderful advice.
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mindfullness .. no hippy spiritual bullshit.. search it up here on redpill few good how to posts
The Meditation thing has always fucked with me. I have tried it in the morning but I end up falling asleep, at night before I go to bed and I find that it ends up keeping me awake.. when do you Meditate?
I do two 10-15min sessions a day.
One just before leaving home at morning, after shower breakfast etc i am fully awake and not sleepy. Then during lunch break. I bring my own food and colleagues go for lunch, so in saved time i usually do second session. If i miss this one i do session after evening training before dinner.
Try to not meditate hungry or just after meal. Hungry makes it harder to focus, full stomach can make you sleepy..
Absolutely the best and easiest 5 things for improvement. So simple but so easy to forget and get offtrack about. Just do it folks. I do, and you'll be amazed at the changes you can make in 6 months.
Thanks for a good post. It's good to always remind one about the basics. I would add number 6: Do not care about what people think or talk about you, because it does not matter at all.
Regarding meditation, I recommend downloading "headspace" app, it's a good and easy start to meditation.
But I heard jacking off was the key to success
This is an excellent list and reminder. The hardest two for me are meditating and sleeping 7+ hours each night. Still working on those. Thanks for the inspiration.
Edit: I am very interested in an in-depth version of this post.
Damn good posts. Please do one in depth.
This is a solid, back to basics post. Good style and backing up with your personal experience. Everyone should have these concepts down to get the most out of them. Its not enough to understand on an intellectual level, you must take action.
thank you. this is really really good. what is your inspiration?
Fapping calms me down and as a result I pick up more efficiently.
I'd say 4 shouldn't be don't spend money, but learn what to spend it on, e.g. wants vs needs.
Once you actually calculate what things purposefully add value your life, and those which just sap time on distraction, your list of purchases gets very small.
I will follow this right now. great advice. I also need to lose weight. I am starting this six month plan right now. zero fapping will be hard though lol.
Have done these long time ago, what's next?
You have to wake up each and everyday with the incentive to become a better person than you were yesterday. The seals have a saying that "the only easy day was yesterday."
It gets me through each day because it remains me that anything that comes easy isn't really worth it. Learning to embrace, fight, and conquer pain can help get you through so much.
Here to agree and shout outs for not drinking. In a culture that glorifies the party life, I'm in a about how much clarity one gets when they break away from that pointless side of life. More time, more clarity, more confidence, less herd mentality and once people realize you're serious, more respect. That, and drugs are often a way to fill time when you don't want to think about what else you could be doing.
med student here
In terms of health, drinking once in a while (1/month)> never drinking > drinking constantly
A prime example of a J-curve, where something 'bad' for you is better to have every so often as opposed to never having it. Look up the Mediterranean diet and health as well with red wine. if you want to know more http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/562474_2
Nofap is basically same thing as being cuckolded, you fight against your natural desires, against youself, and it can't possible be healthy. Real men do whatever they want whenever they want, be it fucking, fapping, or whatever else. Limiting yourself is for betas.
Inb4 betas in denial defending their self-hatred and cuckoldry.
No. Sitting around and fapping no matter how you twist it is unproductive. Self control isn't you cucking yourself. It's being in control of your impulses. I have a "natural desire" to eat fatty foods. Something we, ironically, evolved to have. But I control myself so I don't end up looking like a ball of sadness.
Having sex is unproductive too, then. Anything is unproductive, life uas no meaning in general. But some things are pleasant, so we're doing them. Denying yourself pleasant things is loser behavior.
Denying yourself pleasant things is neither loser or winner behavior. It's just an action. However, some actions are more productive than others. Too much sex is unproductive. Too much of anything is bad for you. The purpose of this post is to motivate people to control their vices. By your current line of logic, smoking crack would be denying yourself a pleasant thing and would be loser behavior. Crack is arguably the most pleasurable thing on Earth. You can make that choice if you want. But with each choice, come the consequences.
Define "bad", define "vice", define "productive". I want pleasure, I reach it by whatever way I want, it's stupid not to. Crack is fine too, but it shortens my lifespan so I get less pleasure in total; however, I'm fine with less lethal drugs.
I see where this is going. TRP most likely isn't for you then. Philosophicaly, life has no meaning. That's already been beaten to death by Sarte, Nietzsche, etc. My natural desire when I see a hot girl is to have sex with her. If she says no, should I fulfill that desire anyway? After all, "I'd be cucking myself if I didn't." That's where your line of reasoning is questionable. TRP is about being your best self. And in order to do that, you have to take control of yourself and your choices.
TRP has some great and informative posts/comments, and I like it for cold, pragmatic point of view. For example, recent one about business, or the one on places to make friends. But it also has a lot of "Chad" or anti-SJW bullshit that is only informational noise, and doesnt really make you any better.
Back on topic, yes, if I cant find female to fuck I will just fap to get that off my mind and get back to working on raising SMV, rather than force myself to stay obsessed on sex I can't get. And also will have some additional joy too - win-win.
Just one question. I lift as the much as the next guy, but I ALWAYS hear how women are not as visual as men, and are more attracted to confidence and personality than muscles. How true is this? How visual are women compared to men?
I think the reason women like muscular men isn't just visual. Muscles are a sign of strength. That's why I think women are attracted to in muscular men.
Likewise, a non muscular guy with alpha traits also exhibits strength, albeit of the mental kind. This is also attractive. But muscles are much easier to see so it creates a favorable first impression.
Sometimes it makes them think you're a douchebag meathead with a big ego though, which is what I don't want. It's kind of a catch 22, if you don't lift you're not even on her radar, if you do, she thinks you're an ass. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
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hard to say for sure, but any woman who says she isn't attracted to muscles is lying.
just hamstring/fox and the grapes/etc.
Problem is, when I no fap, I orgasm way too quick. I blame being noncut and having extra sensitivity.
Good list overall.
Nofap is great, do it, it changed my life. I know a lot of people will call bullshit, but I know myself more than they do. I've been nofapping for more than a year in the past, deep transformations happened.
I'd add to the list: READ great litterature. I don't do it enough, and I know at some point it will hurt me. Don't waste your time reading bullshit self help books. All the knowledge (including the most red pill knowledge) is already distilled in great litterature. Don't believe self help gurus, they're full of shit and don't seek the Truth and Beauty like great writers do.
Also, ironically, once you have everything on this list done, be careful, there are all kind of addictions or traps waiting for you. My personal vice is reading all kind of news on the internet (reddit, trp, 4chan), and it fucks up my motivation/focus. I struggle with this, I really hope I'll cure it because I can feel that once I master this, I'll be golden, so to say.
Also, play an instrument. Alpha as fuck.
I love your post because - all 5 points I am currently doing.
nofap - when I dont fap longer than 2 weeks - more IOIs from girls - I dont know why, just found out accidently.
Do not watch porn and fap after having a wet dream - your body is signalling you that needs to release a pressure.
alcohol - same as you - cannot dring only few - always end with a binge drinking. found underlaying problem and working on it - feel better then ever.
medit+lift=basic of the RP
also watch out for binge watching tv shows and so much online games
Good point about the wet dream - your body tells you most things that you need - which is why I rate meditation highly
So you avoid your natural instinct to blow your load for six months and expect some kind of spiritual enlightenment to come of it? mmkay, kid.
He definitely said he jerks once a week, on Sunday.
Hey, its TRP for you. They expect enlightenment from lifting weights as well, simply because it's simpliest thing they can do. Any fool can do mechanical work and justify it by saying it's better than intellectual.
Purchase duct tape and dryer vent hose from hardware store.
Use tape and hose to lengthen car exhaust, running end of hose in through window
Seal hose with duct tape; seal edges of window and door
Turn on car; be amazed by new-found fuel efficiency!
Profit
It's not the English, but mostly the fact that you're from a very foreign country that makes this advice hard to follow. The dead giveaway that you're from some 2nd world (at best) country is saying you should save "6 months" - most 20-40 year old Americans struggle to save 2 months, let alone 6 months. Stuff just plain costs more money here. A lot more. In every city. Few cities/towns are affordable; most cities are expensive; most metropolitan centers are prohibitively expensive. You don't need to live in NY or LA to be in way over your head (SF, Seattle, a few examples). We also have more debt, more business opportunities, 2nd/3rd job possibilities, etc. It's much more complex here in the 1st world.
The stuff you list is mostly just personal preference, and like many posts here, doesn't leave much room for grey area. You basically say "Here's 10 reasons to not do this, and 1 not to" when most of these are much closer to 50/50.
Jerking off when you're in monk mode, or just got out of an LTR and are licking your wounds, is not terrible. If anything it could "save" you money compared to spending money on a hooker you can't afford, or going out drinking and banging 3s and 4s (after buying them drinks) because you can't pull 6+ women (with minimal effort/expense) yet.
Working out, same deal. If you're broke and keep leaving work early, to do anything - read comics, work-out, vidya - then you're an idiot. Work the fucking hours, get paid, make useful purchases and stop wasting time/money with crap activities that don't expand your social circle or make you a better man. If your money is good, you have the free time, monk mode, etc......then work out. But DON'T just lift weights - incorporate stretching, foam rolling, low-impact cardio, mobility work/plyometrics, etc etc. Going to the gym 7 days/week isn't the problem - being one dimensional (ONLY hit the weights, then leave) is.
Drinking, see above. You didn't list smoking/drugs...same as above. Also with eating out/fast food. If you don't have the money - quit or limit it as much as possible. If you do, make sure you aren't overdoing it, with time, money or health effects.
Meditation.....Lol. Just no. If you're on the right path (lifting, eating right, etc.) you don't need meditation. You'll meditate about how awesome you are while resting between heavy ass deadlifts, or humming your new favorite jam while doing meal prep. It's only when you're constantly fucking up and disappointing yourself (and others) that you need to stop and shut out all distraction for X amount of minutes, like you're some kind of 6 year old taking a time-out with your nose against the wall.
Saving money is the only given in your list. But not the act of simply leaving X amount of dollars in your bank account, but rather using your money more efficiently. If you can get a car loan at 3%, it makes no sense to pay off that loan early - if anything put your money stocks/401k and make way more than that 3% back. Then borrow against that money to go to college or buy a home.
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Couldn't hurt. Spirituality has little to do with meditation. If you find yourself not being able to stand the silence when talking to women. Or not noticing changes in body language, meditation may help you. If you're already calm, observant, and actively present in every interaction...Then I got nothin for you man. Good luck
Girls love muscles? You think i'm on this board because i want to satisfy some basic fucking whore? Get real.
It's the worst reason to lift. Do it for the increased sports performance, for enjoyment, for feeling like you can take in the world because you just PR'd or for the astounding health benefits.
If all that doesn't get you under a bar do it for the girls.