This is from the relationships sub earlier today. It's a long post that reinforces a number of ideas you'll see here. We see this same exact story, in its basic elements, over and over again, but I'm going to hit the highlights: http://archive.is/ct9D9
After we got married, we moved in together and began our lives. I did my absolute best to be the best husband that I could. I tried my best to not ask her for much help with chores, and assigned them as needed: her taking care of the food issues since she was a better cook, and me taking care of the cleaning throughout the apartment. I kept up with my old "tricks" from my Casanova days and made sure to bring flowers every few days, the occasional dessert touch, surprise dates, and jewelry. I wanted to make my wife know that in our world, she was my queen.
Step 1: He provides a ton of comfort (beta) and no attraction (alpha).
She asked me on our wedding night how many women I had been with, and I told her I had slept with about 8 women for longer periods of time and had a little over ten one night stands. When I asked the same of her, she just laughed it off and said "I'm not as slutty as you." So I set the precedent in my mind that she probably only had sex with one or two guys a handful of times.
Step 2: I've only had sex with a couple of people, tee hee.
We would have sex a few times a week, but it was often me putting in most of the effort and it seemed like she wanted to only try the two most common positions. I asked her about trying new things, such as blow jobs, even butt stuff, but she said all that stuff was dirty and she wasn't as slutty as I was. Instead of being bothered by this, I kept up with myself, focused more on my hobbies and working out, while at the same time doting on my wife and treating her like my queen.
Step 3: Boring sex, indicative of her lack of attraction, and the guy trying to nice guy harder.
Over the last year, she has put on about 20 pounds. I never bring it up, but that is just one sign she isn't putting as equal an effort as I am to be attractive to one another. She isn't putting in the same effort as I am, as in my past relationships where girlfriends would at the very least give me baked goods, or something to show their appreciation of me.
Step 4: She gains weight and shows him repeatedly that she doesn't give a fuck.
Then our hero finds a GoPro folder on her computer hard drive by pure chance while buying her a new fucking computer:
I opened it up, and I saw about 50 videos. I was curious, and opened the first one, and she was holding the camera looking at it with a man standing beside her. They were giggling, and she called him "bar pick up #3". She set the camera down, and they proceeded to have foreplay and then sex. Everything that she didn't do with me, she was doing with this man, from blow jobs to anal, the whole nine yards. It hurt me inside. I went through all the videos, and counted 27 different men in total.
Step 5: Video evidence is found of her being a total fucking whore before she got with him.
I confronted my wife with the videos, and she had a breakdown. At first, she accused me of snooping and digging into her private life, but I retorted that I'm her husband and was doing my job to fix her computer. I thought to surprise her with a new computer and jewelry on our anniversary to hopefully open her eyes to how much I am willing to do for her and maybe spice up our sex life. I said I understood why she wasn't willing to try something new because she was probably burntout from all the bar pick ups and coffee meetups she had in the past.
Step 6: Hamsterfest 2016.
Also note he was trying to improve his sex life by increasing beta above and beyond the huge amount he was already laying down, which obviously got nowhere.
I was so frustrated, so I slept on the couch. In the following week, I didn't try to initiate sex. I felt cheated and betrayed. My wife tried a few times, saying she will "try and remember" how to give blow jobs and do butt stuff, but I just told her I needed some time to think about all this. She even started bringing up how "we need to start thinking about children".
Step 7: She tries to control him with sex and jumps on the we need to have kids shit right away to try to lock him down.
What should I do? I really want to work on our relationship, but I just feel so betrayed. I don't feel attracted to my wife anymore, at first it was partially because because of the weight gain, but now it is more so knowing she lied to me about her sex life and how far she was willing to go with strangers instead of with me, her husband. I feel like I put so much, and am still putting in so much effort into our relationship on my part (keeping fit, showing her my love and keeping things interesting with different dates, and giving her gifts of appreciation) and she is not putting in any effort.
Step 8: Our hero is at the critical moment where he either figures shit out or gets pulled back into the bullshit.
I PM'd the guy and sent him to https://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/, which is basically the same situation, so maybe he can see the light. We'll see.
Monster Edit: Holy fucking shit. So I PM'd the guy like I said above, and he replied back with this: http://i.imgur.com/GkZBiJu.png
I didn't want to say it on there, but I actually follow the red pill religiously. That was what kept me on track to strive to be attractive. But alas, I fell trap for my mom's ploy and had to resort to being married. Thanks for the reference, brother. I appreciate the consideration.
HO-LY FUCK-ING SHIT. Are you fucking kidding me?
Monster Edit #2: Apparently he saw this thread, and it seems that the replies woke him up:
Hey thanks for the analysis. It really put things in perspective and just jolted me. I am going back to the house soon, took an early day at work. I am packing all my things, and moving them to my cousin's house till I figure shit out. I should have known to play my dread game harder and stay aloof instead of making myself available for her. Before finding those videos this past weekend, I thought she was your innocent girl type, but AWALT. I see everything is tried and true, it just sucks that its probably going to cost me half my assets. Thank goodness we don't have joint bank accounts (or is she going to divorce rape me there too?). Despite following all the advice here, I succumbed and have suffered the consequences HARD. Not too late for me to pick up my life and move on.
I suggested he make backups of the videos to keep as much leverage as possible and do whatever he can to protect himself while moving forward. He replied:
I actually made three different backups, and a 4th in case she is following this on reddit. [list of places backed up]. The 4th is going to be my personal computer. I am literally at the house, packing my stuff now, getting ready to get out. I am going to tell her I will reveal the videos if she doesn't leave quietly and try to steal my money or my house. Thanks again for all the help brother. I was lost before, but now I am found.
This is pretty nuts, and I wish him the best of luck.