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You should ghost women who have cheated on you

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lanky32
December 10, 2016
871 upvotes
TheRedPill

If a woman you have been in a relation with cheats on you, what's your best bet to come out of it not feeling like a cuck and a loser?

There are 3 options. Let's examine them, one by one.

The first option is what men without abundance tend to do.

And that is pleading with her. Requesting her to come back because you are such a great guy and you'll do anything to make her happy. We all know how this ends. Its not even a real option.

What about the second option? The option of confronting her? Confronting her with irrefutable evidence that she was in the wrong? Gathering proof and presenting it to her? What would she do then, she will have to accept her fault, right? And that would put her on the defensive, right?

Maybe. But it's more likely that she will twist your arguments against you and still not accept ownership for her actions.

For example, if you logged into her FB, Whatsapp etc. to gather evidence she will shame you that you spied on her.She will put a post on social media on how trust is important for relationship and the entire social media will egg her on.

She will insist that she was only chatting with/ speaking with or partying with friends of the opposite sex and she had no physical contact with them . She will lash out at you saying that you are an insecure prick.

Thing is she will do anything to not take ownership and blame you for the breakup instead.

99 times out of 100 she will find a way to put the blame on you. Her hamster would be satisfied that it did the right thing by breaking up with you because you were such an insecure prick/jealous boyfriend etc. Between the two of you, she would still be the one with the upper hand.

But there is a third option that will nuke her hamster.

She will have no defense against because it gives her nothing to play with. And that is ghosting her. No calls, no texts, no answers. Its like you have fallen off from the face of the earth. Any and all attempts by her are met with stone cold silence. She is dead to you . She can do anything she wants to but she doesn't ever get a response or a reaction from you.

Let's examine how this can nuke her hamster and send it into absolute delirium. If you want revenge, ghosting is the way to do it. If you don't want to take revenge but just kill oneitis, this is still the way to do it.

Ghosting is cold, calculated and efficient for you and kryptonite for her hamster.

Why ghost?

Because ghosting gives her nothing to play with, she won't be able to arrive at a conclusion because there would be no data to help her reach one.

'Why is he not answering my calls? He's not even answering my texts. Why is he doing it to me? But I was the best gf to him.

No, wait, did he find out that I was cheating? But it was a one night stand anyway. Nothing serious. Is he going to tell everyone now? Will he spoil my reputation? Fuck.

Did he find a better looking girl? What a douche! He should at least have had the decency to tell me. He is such a misogynist..

Oh no, I think he switched jobs. Did he get a better job? Maybe he has started earning more and found a girl in his new workplace . Fuck. Did he move to another state? Is he dead?

Give me an answer, someone give me an answer. Fuck, fuck fuck, my head feels so heavy now, I am going mad. Fuck, why does it always happen with me, why God why?'

Sometimes, you do too much to win when the best to way to win is by doing nothing.

Do nothing, cut all contact and see how you win. Revenge is a dish best served cold and ghosting is the way to dish out revenge on a cheating ho.

If you don't want revenge, this is still the best thing to do. Why would you explain the reasons for breaking up to a woman who has breached your trust, who has no respect for you?

In fact, it does not matter whether you see ghosting as revenge or not. Cutting off contact helps you in freeing your mind from her thoughts and that is what is required for you to move forward.

Ghosting is very effective in pushing her out of your mind, even if that's not the reason why you first started doing it.

To many of us she appears attractive because she isn't giving us her time of day. Ghosting reverses the dynamic. Instead of acting as if she were above you, she starts craving and begging for your attention and because you don't give it to her, she tries even harder, her worth drops in your eyes, you start seeing her flaws, she isn't the unattainable goddess anymore. She falls off the pedestal and your mind breaks free from her shackles.

It's a very potent medicine, it frees your prime property - your mind, from the unwelcome dweller that she is.

Highly recommended for all lovestruck betas stuck in one-sided love.


Post Information
Title You should ghost women who have cheated on you
Author lanky32
Upvotes 871
Comments 211
Date 10 December 2016 10:59 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/39529
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5hjnht/you_should_ghost_women_who_have_cheated_on_you/
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Comments

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG515 points516 points  (63 children) | Copy

You should ghost them not for revenge, but to remove them from your mind, so that you can focus on the next girl.

By thinking about her hamster and reactions, you're still giving her attention in your mind, and that is of no benefit to you.

[–][deleted] 110 points111 points  (34 children) | Copy

I don't know what this sub has against revenge.

Revenge feels awesome, revenge teaches lessons, revenge burns bridges best burnt, revenge shows a precident for others to see so you're less likely to be fucked with in the future, etc. Revenge is a display of dominance.

Some say it's immasculine. Some say it's petty. I think what's immasculine is to try and control your emotions and pretend you're not getting revenge... When you've grown and you no longer feel the need to get revenge then so be it, but in the meantime enjoy it. Get high on it. You've earned it.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy

You explained it perfectly. Nothing in there was for your benefit but the feelz.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (1 child) | Copy

Same reason I nut in a girl's mouth. It feels awesome.

[–]RedPillLawyer10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Anger and disappointment is fine. If you seek revenge, you're still allowing her to inhabit your mind. Escaping those familiar clutches means letting go completely, including your arguably just desire for revenge.

[–]lodro20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

It really depends on the situation and how it's done. I think the sub is anti-revenge in part because a lot of guys have experience of how not to do revenge and little context for well executed, appropriate revenge (which is rare).

[–]debok 11 points11 points [recovered] | Copy

This statement should get more attention. Revenge is a hard beast to control and it often goes wrong.

[–]lodro7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Usually goes something like "you did x z y and that was bad and it hurt me bla bla cry cry" and she's just annoyed that 6 weeks later you're still talking to her. Haha.

[–]Returnofthemack39 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Eh, and revenge can backfire terribly. It's usually not worth it. There's a reason 'taking the high road' is considered a virtue, and it's not just because 'it feels right'. Revenge often has unintended consequences

[–]FrakkenKrakken4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Revenge keeps you from moving on. It makes you think about the situation far more than you otherwise would. It keeps your mind in an angry state far to long and you remain angry about the situation even after the revenge is carried. The delusion is that you take revenge because you think it will make you feel better and the truth is it doesn't really make you feel that much better because it doesn't actually change what really happened.

[–]bohemian_fappsody4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The point here is not that one shouldn't have his revenge, but rather, that ghosting is the most potent form of revenge. It's what women fear the most. Reactionary revenge might be more satisfying in the moment - and if a guy has no control over his emotions and actions, so be it - but there's truth in the saying, "revenge is a dish best served cold." Nothing colder than ghosting a girl. Everything else you do to her teaches her you still care.

[–]iHasABaseball8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you've grown and you no longer feel the need to get revenge

You just addressed your questions.

"Growing" in any respect doesn't happen by some magic twist of fate. It's a conscious effort. In this case, an effort to train your mind. You'll never grow out of anything as an adult unless you make the effort to do so.

It's like saying you'll just grow into having huge biceps. You won't unless you put in the effort at the gym and in the kitchen. By the same token, you're not going to just grow into a better mind. The brain requires exercise and training as much as most parts of your body to function optimally.

[–]vagbutters6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know what this sub has against revenge.

Because some people here think that it's part of the "anger" phase which is silly, really. Revenge against sluts is great, and it's a lynchpin of successful RP societies in the same vein as slut shaming.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Getting revenge means the girl is still important to you.

Is that what you're trying to communicate?

If so, then go ahead, plan and execute your revenge scheme.

She'll love the fact that you took the trouble, because that means she made a big impression on your life and bruised your ego hard enough for you to still think about her when she's done fucking you.

tl,dr: revenge is counterproductive

[–]smokecheck19762 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because revenge requires an element of hatred and anger. Allowing either one of these two much sway will burn you. Set aside your feelings and look at it objectively. Even if you do want to confront someone that is cheating, keep it short and matter of fact, (you, cheated, I have evidence, we are done) and nothing more, that way she has nothing to bite on and doesn't dare try anything in case you do have proof.

[–]PopeJamal7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you feel you need to get revenge on a woman who cheated, you probably weren't in the right mindset to begin with. Revenge is not a display of dominance.

If you were playing a board game with a child, would you feel the need to get "revenge" on them for playing a successful round? Do you feel the need to get "revenge" on your dog for eating your sandwich while you went to go get a beer? You shouldn't, because you should not feel threatened into needing to make a display of dominance.

All these tips sound like revenge because they're all focused on making her suffer. All you need to do is tell her what she did that was unacceptable and either downgrade her from top spot down to the bottom of your list or cut her off completely, whichever you prefer. Why waste that energy on something that happened in the past when you can be using it to make something better happen in the future?

[–]Elohirnok0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I believe there is a saying about that, "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." Admittedly not actually a Confucius quote.

[–]_Danksy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know what this sub has against revenge.

Because Karma is a bitch, and that shit inevitably bites you in the balls.

[–]BoyWhoreWithASword0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously... Revenge is fucking awesome.

[–]n_dois-4 points-3 points  (11 children) | Copy

The only male revenge thats reinforces your frame and masculinity is the physical one. Plotting and pursuing schemes to seek revenge are clearly options for the weaks who can't openly confront their targets, like females or BP do.

[–]ATrashMan[🍰] 11 points12 points  (10 children) | Copy

Niccolò Machiavelli would disagree with you

[–]srkjfone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why would Machiavelli disagree ?

[–]Samplesong0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Because Niccolo Machiavelli is the ultimate authority

[–]ATrashMan[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

its cool you missed my point entirely.

[–]n_dois-2 points-1 points  (6 children) | Copy

Sun Tzu would agree with me.

[–]ATrashMan[🍰] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

you completely miss the point but im not surprised

[–]n_dois-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Because no one seems to get your point when you do pretty vague statements, I assume.

[–]ATrashMan[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

with all of the downvotes and upvotes being thrown around accordingly, it appears most people here do get the point.

[–]n_dois0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, let me ask them what is the point instead, since you're refusing to elaborate it...

[–]n_dois-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here, just go down a few comments and learn with u/whythecinic how you point something according someone's thoughts.

[–]lanky32[S] 39 points40 points  (13 children) | Copy

Whatever the reason, you start ghosting her for, in the end it helps you in ridding your mind from her clutches. And that's the beauty of ghosting.

To many of us she appears attractive because she isn't giving us the time of day. Ghosting reverses the dynamic. Instead of acting as if she were above you, she starts craving and begging for your attention and because you don't give it to her, she tries even harder, her worth drops in your eyes, you start seeing all her flaws, she isn't the unattainable goddess anymore. She falls off the pedestal and your mind breaks free from her shackles.

Its a very potent medicine, it frees your prime property - your mind, from the unwelcome dweller that she is.

In the end, it enables you in getting her out of your mind, even if that was not your objective why you started ghosting her in the first place.

[–]PawnToKing35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did you just repost what you said in your post verbatim as a comment? Lmao, I mean I like this post, but that's just weird..

[–]RedPillandNoFap 7 points7 points [recovered] | Copy

Dormammu, I've come to bargain.

[–]Returnofthemack32 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

i'll go one further and say that ghosting mutual friends who hang with her a lot is also beneficial. Sometimes it sucks to make a sacrifice like that, assuming you like the mutual friend that is, but it's definitely worth it in the long run. Obviously you shouldn't burn bridges needlessly, but if someone is constantly posting pictures with her, it can hinder your healing process

[–]AncientScrolls6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

Whenever i got mad at something one of my plates did i did the exactly same thing. I started to give them silence treatment and it was the best way to make them submissive and afraid of me. Simply because the silence is one of the most powerful weapons ever. They have no clue why you are ignoring them this makes them paranoid and their imagination starts running wild looking for answers. Its a good strategy to do at least for some time whether you are upset with a girl or friend about something. They always come back crawling and trying to be way nicer than ever since they have no idea what and why you're treating them like this.

[–]krotch_vilense[🍰] 24 points25 points  (6 children) | Copy

Seems like a passive aggressive bitch move to me, like throwing a tantrum everytime someone does something you don't like. It really isn't ghosting if you still plan on keeping contact after you get your way. Any woman worth a damn wouldn't mess with that kid shit. Low hanging fruit though, by all means, have at it.

Edit: Just read the comment again and realized you ghost your friends as well. You can't go doing that all the time if you want to maintain quality friendships. Good things aren't built on fear and paranoia.

[–]-voteforPepe-11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't know why you're being downvoted. The guy is seriously missing he point. "Silent treatment" is bitch shit, it's the opposite of abundance mentality if you just temporarily ghost her to modify her behavior so you can continue to be with her. It's passive aggressive and feminine behavior if you're just trying to make her "figure it out" and come "crawling back." The OP is talking about totally disconnecting from her for good. I do agree with cutting ties if necessary and standing on your principles, however I do think you should give a simple statement about the reason why.
 
I saw your messages with _______ on Snapchat, so for obvious reasons you aren't coming over tonight, or at all in the future. Don't call me any more.  
 

OP said that playing on the radio silence would get the most out of the situation but in my opinion: either you're ok with her riding the cock carousel or you're not. I think any good man should clearly define his intentions and stick to his principles. That doesn't mean you should argue with her about it (you shouldn't) or discuss it any further (also no). There is no good reason to argue with a woman about anything; women can argue amongst themselves but not with me. Would you argue with a child about one of their transgressions?

[–]krotch_vilense[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Be brief and to the point if you're done, no games.

[–]2dogsandpizza8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Can't believe this has been up voted. If you're suggesting arguing with a woman is better than playing mind games with her then you are wrong and need to revisit the principles of trp. Ghosting, even temporarily, says more to a woman than words ever will.

[–]AncientScrolls4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly i find it funny that a lot of people downvoted me for telling how silence treatment works way better than arguing with anyone. People use it all the time in corporations or military. Bosses do it all the time to make their subordinates or soldiers fear them and do their best and work harder. Robert Cialdini and other sociologistd even suggest use those strategies in your relationships and workplace.

If people here think that trying to argue with a women is going to win them to their side they seriously need to check if they really swallowed the redpill in the first place at all. You can never try to argue with them they are emotional creatures it will only make you look weak in their eyes.

[–]krotch_vilense[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good military leaders don't use this technique.

[–]AncientScrolls1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes arguing is useless believe it or not. You cant try to win a woman by arguing with rationality. Woman are emotional creatures they will never be able to understand things logically. Sure you can try to argue with her but it will probably end up with her thinking you lost your frame and she will think that she was able to press your buttons or it will end up with a lot of emotional drama. From my experience its much better to not talk back at all and just cut ties permanently or temporary. If you try to argue with them you will probably only end up giving her more ammo to use against you in the future just like OP said in the post and i can confirm from my life experience.

Most of the girls and friends that came crawling back to me trying to make things "right" between us again were the ones that i just distanced myself away from them and gave then a degree of silence treatment for some time. Believe me or not but from my experience sometimes arguing and telling what's the problem upfront can end up damaging some friendships and relationships forever, especially with women, since girls are more emotional than us. But there are also man who arent manly enough to handle the truth without bitching.

[–]whythecynic4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Agreed that moving on is still the ultimate and best goal you could have.

Still, as an Aristotelian I'd say that the visceral satisfaction of well-deserved revenge is a good thing. It is right and proper to take satisfaction in doing the right thing, as long as you're not doing the right thing purely for that satisfaction.

[–]vagbutters3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the most important part of abundance mentality. The fact is, if you're fit, have an ounce of game, and dress well, you can get as many top-tier sluts as you want.

If you don't have this, then you have beta traits that you need to get rid of, as they will keep telling you "stay with her! She's the one pussy you know that you've gotten in the past, so your chances to get her back are good!"

[–]Altkolsch3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Here is what I do to free my mind, not for revenge, but to focus on the next.

I have a contact in my phone called ignore. This contact is blocked from receiving texts or calls. I add her number to this contact and delete her contact that has her name.Examples of other numbers in this contact include telemarketers. This takes away the temptation to answer when she calls or texts and also keeps you from reaching out when you feel weak.

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Different techniques to the same end.

[–]kamwren2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should ghost them not for revenge

But out of respect. If she's not into you 100%, it means she's not enthusiastically consenting to your love, so you have to completely pull out and go away.

[–]-ATLAS-_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or ghost them for all reasons. Just no matter what side of your brain you're in, ghosting is the answer. But the article was still good for breaking down every last reason someone's brain might make to convince themselves to not ghost.

It's in those moments of weakness that the reasons become important, and in moments of strength that our concern just didn't include that person in any way anymore. Good strategies motivate with both carrots and sticks, both in weakness and in strength.

[–]causeandcorrelation[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As always with TRP; these 'techniques' are actually the reasonable behaviours of a Man with options and a deeply internalised sense of self value. The utility of ghosting is simply an excersice in investing ones emotional energy productively.

[–]ForgotUserID0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Ghosting the same as no contact?

[–]slay_it_forward2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, ghosting is when you dress up like a ghost and lurk around her home late at night.

No contact means cutting off all contact.

[–]Sal68260 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I can confirm this

Had a girl in high school that I chased for 2 years. We were best friends with a palpable sexual tension. She had always gone for older guys but I eventually broke through and got her to sleep with me. Now that I had slept with her the next logical step (atleast in my head) was to make her my gf but she said she didn't feel that way about me. I told her that I couldn't handle just being friends with her because we were clearly past that. She ended up sleeping with the school douche bag (an Eminem Wangster-looking wannabe, the dude literally had grillz) at a party that weekend. As soon as I found this out I cut off all contact with her at once, no warning, no reason, ghost. This drove her fucking insane! The script was completely flipped. She was now pursuing me frantically because I was no longer under her spell. I ignored her calls, texts, her pleas in person, her pleas through friends, gave her no slither of hope. She called me 60 times back to back one night, leaving me over ten voicemails each one more pathetic then the last.

Don't look at it as revenge, the way I see it, it's justice. This girl played me for over 2 years, I destroyed her in 1 week by doing nothing. Listen to the OP he knows what's up.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

the best case scenario is to learn from it, and neither of you are on each other's minds.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (7 children) | Copy

This. I had a gf of 3 years who cheated, with my (ex) best mate. I had a strong suspicion based on their behaviours that night but got staunch denial from her. 3 months later, out of the blue, he came clean and told me everything, I got every detail from him then calmly confronted her again about the night and if anything happened, wording it all so that she would be blatantly lying or brutally honest every time she answered, sure enough she lied, I told her I knew everything and he told me, suddenly I'm the bad guy and I shouldn't be setting her up in such a way bla bla bla.

Threw her shit out the front and didn't answer any communication from her for 2 years. It pissed her off to no end that I ghosted her.

Bonus ending - she begged me to met up in a motel for sexy time about 2.5 years after, she told me she broke it off with her current bf which I knew was bullshit so I sent him the texts of her begging to meet up for sex and told her what room I was in for her to only find him sitting there waiting for her.

[–]czatara11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Perfect man, who said that ghosting and revenge have to be mutually exclusive?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not one to exact revenge but I felt that was appropriate.

[–]crazypolitics2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was well done mate, now that's how you ghost and revenge

[–]slay_it_forward-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Instead of the bf waiting at the motel I would of had a tranny sitting on the bed with his cock out full mast.

[–]mikazee1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like trannies as much as the next guy, but WTF?

[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (9 children) | Copy

If this is in reference a LTR with any sort of merit, truly ghosting is probably going to be difficult to do. She's just gonna show up at your place or somewhere you'll be and it'll be really weird for you to just cold shoulder it face to face in an effort to ghost then.

I also think you'd need irrefutable evidence that she was taking some dick for this to be advisable.

Just my thoughts.

[–]lanky32[S] 27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy

The idea is not to explain to her what she did wrong, as far as possible.

If it's very difficult, just tell her that it's not working out without specifying her the reason. If she insists, repeat the line like a broken record.

[–]Cunt_Robber31 points32 points  (4 children) | Copy

If you have irrefutable evidence, she deserves total, abrupt ghosting. Let her waste her time ringing the doorbell or stalking you. If you're close with her parents just tell them she cheated and that it's over. The only case where you couldn't ghost/next is if you live together. In that case, you get a little taste of what a divorce might cost you, time/money/energy-wise.

[–]Thizzlebot19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

The only case where you couldn't ghost/next is if you live together.

The answer to that one is : DON'T LIVE TOGETHER.

[–]Cunt_Robber16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Elementary, my dear watson

[–]syf3r1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

let me add to record evidence of her attempts to contact you... in case you need it legally

[–]Cunt_Robber0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yea. Def save the texts/tinder chats/etc. This is what we have to do now to protect our innocence...

[–]sd4c1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Taking some dick isn't the only form of cheating. In most relationships sexting would be cheating and enough to break up over. In others, meeting up with another man alone, even just for coffee, would be.

[–]TooMuchToDoo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I agree that ghosting is an incredibly tough thing to do with any LTR that has merit. Been there, done that. It was just as hard as you say it is. But I disagree with you on your thought that ghosting is used mainly when you have hard evidence of her cheating. I don't think it's the only instance where you should use it. In my case, she wasn't cheating at all-- she was everything that I was looking for in an LTR. However, my friends brought to light that she was not nearly as nice to me as she was to other people. Trusting my friends, I broke it off. As much as she wanted to say how much of a bad person I was for breaking it off, there was nothing she could say that would justify in her head why I did so. It made my life much easier because I wasn't arguing with her as to why I chose to break it off.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I only meant ghosting in reference to cheating. As in, if you just had a hunch, I believe ghosting would be ill-advised because it could just be your own insecurities. I'm all for ghosting a cheater if you're 100% she's cheating, but as I said, would be tough to pull off.

As for other reasons.....like her not being as nice to you as others....I'm not sure I agree. If you want to break up with her for it, no issues there. But does she deserve ghosting over relationship problems? Not so sure I'm on board with that.

I know I know, many chicks wouldn't think twice before branch swinging and ghosting / feeding you bull shit about being stressed out and other trademark malarkey instead of telling you the truth about not being into you anymore because you began to bore her BUT isn't that what makes us better men, that we don't dabble in bull shit in regards to our relationships?

[–]dammit_redskins 19 points19 points [recovered] | Copy

Dude you are focusing wayyy too much on HER feelings. Why should you care? Just ghost her because it's easier for YOU.

[–]ATrashMan[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because emotions and chemicals get involved - the reason why you are ghosting is less important than the fact you are doing what is needed to be done.

[–][deleted] 18 points18 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]aDrunkenWhaler2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just make sure she's gagged and tied up so she can't turn. Once you go to jail, you'll have a good story to tell.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro60 points61 points  (4 children) | Copy

She cheats because she's done with you.

Relevant: https://therationalmale.com/2016/10/24/please-breakup-with-me/

This makes "option 3" the only one.

"Option 2" is actually living in woman's frame and is very dangerous to men, no matter how strong is their frame. You look through her FB and you find things you aren't supposed to find or know or whatever. Don't do that.

"Option 1" - you can as well buy some lube and a strap on and suggest that you can suck her boyfriend's dick while she pegs you.

Solid post bro. I hope you even lift.

[–]lanky32[S] 22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Option 1" - you can as well buy some lube and a strap on and suggest that you can suck her boyfriend's dick while she pegs you.

You are funny.

Sadly, some men do this, don't they.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

What can I say?

See my post history.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

Maybe not exactly that, but basically that.

Most of valuable, developed dues around are where they are because they fucked up. And, they did not give up.

Basically, that's what I do now. For a living.

[–]srkjfone0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Perfect and well said. "They did not give up."

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

She cheats because she's done with you.

She's done with seeing you as alpha. Your commitment and resources are still welcome though, and this is the dynamic most men fail to understand.

She's "trying to work it out", so she "must still love me". All that crap. Endless hamstering on both sides for what amounts to simply AF/BB.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

I read on here or somewhere "Your silence will say more than you ever could". This advice ties in as well with "The best revenge is living well"

Inside you could be angry, sad, crying, screaming... whatever. Outwardly it is cold and calm. Your life will go one she doesnt see any of the fallout, just you moving on and being happy without her.

People on here talk about revenge fantasies all the time. About gaining 400lbs of muscle and a million dollars then fucking their one itis who blew them off and then giving her the heisman on the way out the door, but in real life revenge is subtle. It is her bumping into you 4 years later at a coffee shop or at a party and asking what happened. Its you deleting a friend request that shows up one night at 3am. It is subtle, it doesnt say what you WANT it to say, it will say what you need it to say.

I agree with this 100 percent. If I am ever in that situation in my life again I will do this, and be happier for it.

[–]Returnofthemack3-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

this. People that espouse the 'values' of revenge on here need to read more stoic philosophy lol. Look up my boy marcus and stop being a fucking idiot imo

[–]thebrandedman23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

This kinda sounds like a sketch done by Christopher Titus. "How to destroy a comedian".

-Sit in the front row.

-Don't heckle, they'll destroy you

-Deadpan stare at them, and never laugh.

Link

[–]SpaceFunkyMonkey19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Call it ghosting, I call it deleting someone from my life. Worked like a charm when a past ex cheated on me. Plus it reinforces your focus. Excellent thread by the way.

[–]lanky32[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. Ghosting, deleting, same thing, different names.

[–]tobasoft18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is good advice. I did this a few years back. Although I recommend a quick goodbye and wish them well sincerely if they insist on being pushy and annoying. Don't explain anything. Ever.

[–]Schwaggaccino7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

100% true. Well said.

BTW OP, the second theory you described is projection. It's a defense mechanism. Women use it all the time. It's when they accuse you of shit they did to make themselves feel better. It's an immature defense mechanism but it makes them feel better.

If you are pissed off and want them to feel like shit, do the third theory - ghost their ass. I cannot explain how well it works. Women hate being ignored. They'll spend weeks upon weeks of obsessing over you, months, years even. I totally ignored this chick back in 2011, no contact since, she's been tagging me in posts as far as 2015 no lie.

When you fight back and yell at them, you are sinking to their level. That's point 1. Point 2 they'll feel better because you are a douche/asshole/crazy. Point 3 you'll be pissed off and they'll move on.

Ghost ghost ghost all the way

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You understood it perfectly. Also, the chick reinforced how destructive ghosting can be to female hamsters.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here is the signature Ghost Goodbye from TheUltmateCad

"Blah Blah, you are an asshole....Ten more paragraphs of bullshit....."

"You seem upset and I completely understand. Our time together was terrific and I wish you all the best!"

[–]HeinousFu_kery6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree wholeheartedly. Women feed like vampires on drama and emotional masturbation over relationships. Deny that and you have them, and your ultimate revenge if that's what you're after.

With my ex, I just walked out. Stayed in an extended-stay hotel (we had a house together) and called my lawyer. A week or so of feeling miserable I realized I had run for daylight and the plates began to spin.

Never looked back, even though the legal wrangling got extensive.

[–]_Danksy4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's a very potent medicine, it frees your prime property - your mind, from the unwelcome dweller that she is.

Can confirm, ghosted my last three ex's. Blocked their number, left social media altogether, didn't communicate at all from there. My mind was friggin great up until I decided to go full retard and look up one of 'em on jewbook.

If you're gonna do it, do it all the way.

[–]lanky32[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

'My mind was friggin great up until I decided to go full retard and look up one of 'em on jewbook.'

Yup, this should be avoided.

[–]_Danksy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed. Just delete all social media accounts connected to you. Don't give the government more shit to throw at you.

[–]drunkinmidget5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

I had a girlfriend cheat on me. I ghosted her after first telling her to go fuck a goat.

Months later I get a text from her "what would you do if you ran into me after work today?" (I had moved. She apparently was in town when she sent this per a mutual friend). I had ignored many messages before this one. I just responded "I'd turn my head and keep walking" then went back to ghosting.apparently she began to sob uncontrollably realizing it was 100% over. (WTF it took that long to realize???)

Moral of the story, if you ghost a girl and she comes back months later, shoot her a one sentence "fuck off" message before returning to the ghost. It drives home that you got all her messages before and simply don't gaf

[–]landon0421 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

lmaoo i love this bro.

I remember time ago this girl must have thought she was playing long game beta bux with me, I end it and months later she says some shit to reel me back in, there are some post on the psychology of this, like messages to see if you'll bite Her: "I still love you landon042"

One of my most savage text ever

Me: Ight

IF I knew what I know today, I'd probably play along but still ignore her, then years later when she expects me to be a little bitch and relying on me to be a bf that saves her from the cc, I hit her with the "I got hella hoes, gtfo if you not suckin"

[–]drunkinmidget0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Nah dude, "ight" is by far the best! It gives this clear message of you going out of your way just to respond. You care so little that just responding it a fucking chore. I love it.

[–]landon0422 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

yes you're right.

also "ight" is 1000x better than "k" because in my opinion, that's something bitches use when her orbiter isn't being a good little servant and text her all day, her reply "k"

many guys here use it but leave that shit to them and the pussys.

ight is a lot better, just sounds like you're her pimp

don't forget "maybe" ultimate hamster spinner and shit test passer

her:do you only want me for sex?

me: maybe

her:do you want to go to so and so friday night

me: maybe

[–]SayaV2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus man, if only I had known TRP a little sooner I would've skipped on a lot of suffering. Thanks a lot, this is great!

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ghosting is only part of the solution and I've mentioned this in another asktrp thread.

In most cases, men who are cheated on have made some significant investment into their relationship. Ghosting alone implies writing off those investments.

Fuck. That.

Be Machiavellian. Secure and protect yourself as best you can. Then ghost.

You may have both your names on a lease, a joint bank account, hell you may even have a dog together. A woman may not have the foresight to think about what those things are worth and how cheating will affect the security of those investment, but a man must. Especially in a society where 'justice' heavily favors women.

Be smart. Just ghosting is an emotional response and one that can potentially do more harm than good.

[–]Westernhagen-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

In most cases, men who are cheated on have made some significant investment into their relationship. Ghosting alone implies writing off those investments.

Sunk cost fallacy. You ain't getting those "investments" back.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The sunk cost fallacy applies to the male hamster attempting to reason why the relationship should be saved. I'm taking about being practical. If I (am stupid enough to) have a joint bank account with a bitch and she cheats on me, there's no way I'm just ghosting her. I'm getting every single penny that's mine. Believe that.

[–]Ether_Freeth6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

thank you.

I should have read that a year ago when the ex cheated on me with one of my best friends.

Well better late then never. And no gain without loss.

:)

[–]lanky32[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Glad you liked reading it.

'I should have read that a year ago when the ex cheated on me with one of my best friends.'

Its incidents like these that direct us to places like this forum.

You now know what to do if the next one starts fucking with you.

We all live and learn.

[–]Returnofthemack34 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

man, shit like this is so unforgivable. A bitch cheating on you is one thing, but for one of your trusted friends to knowingly betray you is just devastating. It's hard, if not impossible, to replace long term friends that you trust. I dunno, i'd be devastated if one of my best friends betrayed me, seeing as how i've known some of them for over 10 years; one of my 'best friends' i've known since second grade! You just cant replace that lol

edit: and ultimately, he lost out in the end as well. He traded a strong friendship for a disloyal whore lol. Girls come and go, but your bros are forever. Smfh, thirsty dudes cant see the forest from the trees

[–]Ether_Freeth2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

yeah.

What stung me the most is that for this person (can't call him a man any more ) I had supported him and his family after he got hurt when we were out on an a mission. He was in a an artificial coma for months because of that.

And then he betray's me like this.

As for her ... i thought i finally found the girl you know. Yeah blue pill AF i know but i have the pleasure/misfortune of being a what some people here call a natural. Spent most of my youth with more women then i care to count because of that. And in the end it just made me feel empty. Accomplishing something without real effort is just not rewarding i guess. And she despite being a lot younger she challenged me both on a mental level as well as being an extreme amount of fun to be around. which is something i had sorely missed in my interaction with women. And as such i was madly in love.

ohh well time to get my shit together and be the prize again.

[–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your friend is Brutus himself.

[–]Enormousface2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What did you do about the friend?

[–]Ether_Freeth2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I kept fucking her after we broke up and she was officially with him.

And then after he quit his job and lost a 10 k bonus because of her. I told him what we did with proof.

Now they are still together but I got my revenge. And for a vengeful mofo like me that is important. And I don't assume they will last long.

Helped me cope and killed the feels in the end.

But ghosting her would have been smarter. Especially because somewhere some part of me still hoped it could be fixed.

To bad women don't love us like we love them. But hey might as wel hope water stops being wet.

[–]PissedPajamas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even in my beta days something felt wrong about pleading for reconciliation. Going nuclear as fuck is the only way you walk out a dead relationship with your head up high, oh, and she'll never forget your name. That's pretty cool too

[–]itsemalkay2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is it bad to see your ex who cheated on you just for sex?

[–]lanky32[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It screams lack of abundance.

I wouldn't do it. She breached my trust. I will get sex from another woman.

[–]helio2k 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy

What is your advice if you have the same social circle with that girl?

[–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Continue being a part of the social circle, never quit a social circle just because your ex is part of it, unless it was primarily her social circle that she introduced you to and the social circle values her more than you.

Limit your contact with her and speak with the others in the group. It may be a little uncomfortable initially but it gets better with time and with some more time you wouldn't even need to think about it.

[–]Calebrox1242 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.

Less is more :)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When they got your kids, you have now have demon to have to deal with for the rest of your life, unless you leave your kids behind.

[–]sd4c2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

In many cases confrontation is a form of denial. You're hoping she will give some explanation that reveals all of it was just a big misunderstanding, or that nothing serious happened sexually.

The reality is that if a woman is giving another man sexual access to her (alone at night, sexting, secret conversations) then you've lost that god-like, #1 priority in her life. Your happiness and your mission should be #1 to her at least until she has your children (then they can be #1). And if she's giving an opening for another guy to make a move, it doesn't matter whether he did or not. The situation is unsalvageable because she no longer sees you as her best option.

It can be very hard to ghost someone you've grown close to, but it's worth it. There is a certain real satisfaction in dumping a beautiful woman in order to focus on yourself.

[–]lanky32[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she has cheated on you, she does not respect the very core of your relationship.There is nothing to be achieved by speaking with her.

I am not interested in listening why she did what she did. It's a non issue. Howsoever small or big the temptation or provocation, she knows another man is forbidden territory while she's in a relationship with me.

She can choose to explore other man or men, that's her choice.

But then she does not hear another word from me in her lifetime. I have no time to listen to her justifications or rationalisations.

It' as simple as that.

'You're hoping she will give some explanation that reveals all of it was just a big misunderstanding, or that nothing serious happened sexually.

You are bang on about this. Yup, that's why men discuss with cheating females. No, there is no misunderstanding. Girls know what they do and why they do what they do. Then they come up with all sorts of rationalisations to guilt trip the man they have cheated on. Discussing gives her a chance to manipulate. You don't gain anything out of it.

If she's crossed the forbidden line, she's out. There's nothing that can be achieved by discussing. She isn't going to win back my trust by justifying or hamstering.If she has no self control, she can find another man who tolerates it.

And trust me, ghosting someone you have been a relationship with requires tremendous amount of will power, its very easy to give in, very easy to get sucked into her rationalisations in trying give yourself a closure.

Ghosting requires tremendous mental fortitude, whether you do it for revenge or not is inconsequential. Having feelings of revenge is not necessarily a weakness. It's very natural in such circumstances.

What you do with those feelings is important.

You aren't picking up a gun and shooting her family, you are just choosing to not have any contact. There is nothing weak about it.

And six months down the line being in no contact helps you in killing any left over feelings for her.

So, it's a win-win situation for the man.

[–]casemodsalt8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

I still need to get to the point of actually meeting up with a decent looking woman from tinder :/

[–]Shootlawd10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's your pics. Even if you are sure its not.

[–]TRPKid3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Back before they banned <18, all I had was a post-workout full body ab pic, matches for days.

Lift lift lift lift lift lift lift.

[–]ballietbran3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah in my opinion if they've cheated on you, get the fuck out. Not only are they gonna do it again since they got away with it once, but they can't be fucking trusted. Approach all women with caution, if they've ever cheated in the past, I promise you they are more than likely gonna do it again in the future. It's not that hard. You'll look like a fucking cuck if you stay with the bitch that cheated, end of story.

[–]Fukb0i970 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I "stay" with the bitch that cheated on me because for me i dont have any more feelings for her, i mean i enjoy her company to some degree, but i have no romantic feelings for her anymore. I act stupid like i dont know whats going on, and i tell her i love her, but Im only with her for the sex. Also i use every chance i get to cheat on her. She thinks we're still togheter, but really we're not. But she is so fuckin hot that i cant stop fucking her. Im only with her when i dont have shit to do. Do you think Its bad?

[–]ballietbran0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, to each is own man. I just know for me that it really just depends on what you want. If I was in a relationship with the girl and had found out she was cheating on me, then all bets are off I'm done with the girl.

You just have to ask yourself if what you're doing is working out for you. If it is, then great!! But there are also so many fish in the sea and plenty of hot women out there, that's where I'm coming from. And I completely get now where you're coming from.

So, I guess it doesn't matter what I think, it's your life bro.

[–]hairaware1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'd just cut off all emotional connection and just use them as a fucktoy till I found another that was acceptable. I don't make many emotional connections though so I can imagine it'd be hard if you were.

[–]lanky32[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

If you are not emotionally involved, you could keep fucking her. 95 out of 100 men would not be able to pull this off.

[–]hairaware0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Just have to learn how to compartmentalize your emotions. Getting called cold here and there is worth the versatility.

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

'Just have to learn how to compartmentalize your emotions.'

Yes, but it isn't easy for most men.

[–]Fukb0i970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My gf cheated on me, and she ended up crying in my bed for 5 hours to not leave her. I was cold AF, and just said, "i dont care" because i really dont lol. I have no feelings for her anymore What so ever, but i still ACT like i love her just to continue to have sex with her lol

[–]cause_you_suck1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

what i did before was take a screenshot of fb convo the guy and my ex had before deleting and then sent it to her to skype (no explanations or anything, just the screenshot), just to let her i know whats going on. and then i ghosted. was that a terrible idea?

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

She got to know exactly why you broke up with her, she needn't need to wonder why you broke up, you gave her a ready made answer. You prevented her hamster from spinning, i would not say it was a terrible idea but it wasn't the most effective either.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say it isn't a bad move. You go radio silent after that, so she gets no real closure. But you let her know that you aren't a fool, but you don't let her hamster rev as much. I'd say providing irrefutable evidence of wrongdoing right before the ghost, with no discussion, isn't so bad.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It really doesn't matter at all.

[–]RiseAboveRuin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Does this really need a fucking article written about it? I mean common. Is the sky blue? Is my dick small? does 1+1=2?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that men don't ghost cheaters is absolutely feral. So may BP beta men on here that deserve to be lined up and shot in the fucking head for being so worthless and pathetic.

[–]msaintx1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I love this, its simple and just plain common sense. Anyone that crosses your moral code isnt worth reasoning with anyways. She was never more important than any other human you met, and now that she destroyed one of the only things giving her any worth, well what is she then ?

[–]damstraight4 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

I had a similar experience. I had good reasons to suspect my LTR was cheating on me. I confronted her via phone call, told her I knew about XYZ. I didnt let her explain herself because I didnt care. I told her I would give her stuff to her friend and that to never contact me again. The reason I called instead of purely ghosting her was so that she wouldnt bother me. You know, more calls/text, showing up at my house, or contacting my friends. I agree ghosting is best for your piece of mind. But letting them know briefly is also beneficial too.

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, if you let her know briefly and don't get drawn into a prolonged argument , it's all good.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy

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[–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

15 years later, she wouldn't even be your mind, you would be completely indifferent.

You want to fuck with her mind, leave the message. Personally, I will continue not having any contact.

[–]themitchplesset1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I must say sir, this verbose description of ghosting has perfectly explained my reasoning. Thank you for this.

[–]AyeAmScottishYaCunt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best way to deal with this kind of situation is to simply remain stoic, look her dead in the eye and say...

"I'm breaking up with you"

Leading her to question your decision, obviously. You simply respond with 1 word.

"Guess..."

Tie in an evil little smirk whilst you watch her rack her brain, thinking of every indiscretion she's ever committed in the relationship whilst simultaneously creating alibis/reasons/excuses for each one. It's truly a marvel to see a hamster spin so fast it literally combusts.

Use this time to gather your shit and go. No discussions, no hearing her out. Nothing. You don't lower yourself to hear her trickle truth or outright lying, no not even for a full confession or apology. You just go.

And by go, I mean you go over to your plates house who's wearing nothing but a bathrobe and some edible panties eagerly awaiting your arrival.

[–]dickens910 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

I wish I had seen this a year ago. Confronted cheating gf, and just like you said, she rapidly turned it around that everything was my fault and I was a terrible person. Which of course is why she cheated. Not her fault at all.

[–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In most cases, when the woman cheats, she is already over you. Your confronting her gives her an out. A woman will never admit that she was in the wrong to a man she does not respect,

And guess what, if she has cheated on you, she does not respect you.

Confronting does not help because by the time you realize she is cheating she has secured the next branch. she thinks nothing about turning on you and browbeating you because she is getting what you could give her from another man. In fact it's good that you confront her because it gives her hamster a chance to do mental gymnastics and reach the conclusion that you were the bad one in the relationship.

If she has already secured the new branch, she can afford to be brazen with you. It's how if you have a new and a better job offer and and if your current boss tries to pull you up for not working well, you don't really give a fuck.

That's why ghosting helps. Because you leave her in a maze of questions which she can never answer herself. She is uncertain. Women like to box men into alpha and beta categories. You ghosting her without saying a word is display of high value (alpha). But you were a beta in the relationship, that's why she cheated on you.

To her hamster it's confusing. She wants to interact with you one last time so that she can get her closure (which means that she should be able to determine with finality whether you are a beta and hence she made the right call in cheating you or an alpha in which case she may want to come back). you don't giver her that closure.

Without interacting with you further her hamster is not able to box you into either of these categories, it is not able to reach a conclusion with certainty. It's absolutely infuriating for a woman to not be able to do so.

And that's why more often than not the woman completely flips out when you ghost her. It' s maddening for them.

And that's the best revenge we can take from a cheating ho.

[–]QruCiFiX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Didn't read your post, sorry in advance. I would just like to chime in something based on the title. Listen to patrice o'neal, his philosophy is that a woman already expects the outcome of you either getting mad at her or being a begging loser when she cheats. Be inconsistent, tell her you are happy she cheated because now you can finally go and be with other women without feeling any guilt. Perfect abundance, be bigger than the body, put her mind to work.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]Ceeallah0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you. I really needed to hear this, this morning. This theory is not a theory but living truth as it is something I'm going through as I speak. Again thanks for the reminder and the testament that what I think and am feeling is not crazy.

[–]supernormalnorm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost, have her beg, do the angsty grudge fck, then ghost for real

[–]spookyman2120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is some seriously good advice. Also remember that the next girlfriend has to be better. Do not go backwards. Always trade up.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]lanky32[S] 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

By using her do you mean continuing to have sex with her?

Well, if you have the mental fortitude or the inclination, go for it.

Most men don't.

I would not want to have sex with a female I was emotionally invested in, knowing that she has replaced me with someone else. I would rather cut her out.

There are so many other women to have sex with. Sex isn't enjoyable if the woman does not respect you. A woman who cheated on me certainly does not have respect for me. Lack of respect is a boner killer, at least for me, no matter how hot she is.

I would definitely not fuck her. I will vanish from her life and leave her in a maze of questions,

Mindfucking a cheat would give me a greater satisfaction than physically fucking her.

If you can pull it off, well go for it. But it's not easy as you make it sound. Having sex with her can again activate your feelings for her. And you will have to hear her stories about the new man. Its just not worth it.

Doesn't work for me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

The idea of silently plating a LTR that has cheated to me has always spoke against abundance mentality.

I had a crazy middle aged woman have her friend text my friend to text me to walk to a bar to hang out last weekend. It would have be an easy kill. But why would I turn off Gotham and leave my dog for that shit upon being summoned in such a way?

[–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exactly. Plating a a cheating whore is anything but abundance mentality.

If it works for some men, great

I think deep inside they do secretly hope that by continuing to have sex with her they have a sliver of a chance of her again falling in love with them. It gives them hope.

Hope is the biggest beta killer. I don't give false hopes to people.

I would not plate a cheating ex but if it works for some people, more power to them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It means that you are willing to have in your life those that know they have disrespected you, regardless of what else they know of the interaction (i.e. you are just using them for sex, in your mind, yet here you are talking to a bitch that betrayed you).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is a large risk with that though. When women feel like they're losing their relationship status, they get desperate. They'll all of a sudden stop caring if you're wearing a condom or if they took their birth control for example. I speak from experience.

[–]doveenigma130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ghosting like that is hard if you were married. You have to change it a little bit and talk to her like a business partner. Keep it cold and emotionless. That drives them fucking bonkers.

[–]SigmaNOC0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's fine, but remember not to get disappointed if you find out she didn't give a shit, never really tried to contact you, and just got with the other guy.

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, but would being in touch with her have resulted in a different outcome?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ghosting is much more for you than her. You need to have a reason to spend time on her, not a reason not to.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is bullshit. If a woman cheats, then she is in the stable... along with the rest of them. She can come back and blow me any time. I think this is only true when you are in love. And that is silly.

[–]ballsy10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I ghost everyone or use them as a booty call...

[–]PranksterLad0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Two questions:

1) You find out your girlfriend snap chatted her ex-boyfriend whilst you were together semi-nude photos two months later after it happened. Cheating? Plan of action?

2) Seeing a girl who has a boyfriend, been fucking for four months. Lied to me yesterday, and is now with the boyfriend. Says she wants to dump him for me. Plan of action?

[–]Returnofthemack30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

lol it blows my mind that many people exist that wouldn't ghost someone for cheating on them, men and women. This is such a common sense post, but somehow people need to hear it. Ridiculous.

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Common sense is not very common.

[–]lolligagger30000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I did not get cheated on, but damn this was helpful, I'm applying it now

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

'I un-hooked an LTR who decided we were over after an argument, and just never looked back. Deleted txts and emails w/o reading them, told my own friends privately I was cutting her off and would appreciate it if they did the same. Dealt with apartment stuff through the landlord.'

You call it 'unhooking', I call it 'ghosting'. Ghost her to unhook from her clutches. Simple.

[–]De4thGr1n0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Well, my ex didn't cheat on me. We are 21 and she went a 3months vacation in Europe. We already had a few fights before but it didn't seem like she was going to break up with me. 2.5 weeks in , she broke up with me.

She is very sexual person (that means that when she was single she slept with a lot of guys but I don't think she emotionally can cheat on a guy without hating herself) and when she broke up with me she said it was about those fights. I knew it wasn't and that she just can't wait 3 months in a relationship that's rickety so she just decided to end it because that's something easy and comfortable to do. (I should also mention that she is an emotionally weak person with a lot of self-hatred and pessimism so not getting out of her comfort zone and not doing something that takes strength isn't unlikely for her).

I didn't talk to her for about a month and a half now (she broke up with me like 2 months ago, I stayed having casual conversations as if we were just friends and I was never hurt and she couldn't take it so she begged me to stop and I did) and my plan is to ghost her and when she comes around (if she will) I will tell her "Having a talk won't take us anywhere nice so we might as well skip it" I don't want to talk to her and tell her how why she fucked up because I don't seek revenge. I want her to know that she did something fucked up but I don't want to spell it out for her because she is a smart girl and she can figure it out and spelling it out would just cause her (as OP said) to shift the blame on me and victimize and tell me how she had such a hard time in the relationship even though we both know its untrue. And if she won't figure it out that means that she can't confront herself with criticism because she is too weak and prefers to believe that she was a victim that means that I she doesn't deserve me.

[–]Lu_the_Mad0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Why were you still talking to her?

[–]De4thGr1n0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Because I thought I understood why she did it (which after waking up from oneitis I discovered was a lie she told me and herself to justify it to herself - She might still believe it) and it seemed like a good reason. She said she had a real hard time in the relationship with my criticism of her and I blamed her of playing the victim and being PC so I figured she just couldn't handle it anymore - as I said , weak. But then I figured that's not the reason and she just was hungry for sex and that she didn't hold as much meaning as I had for the relationship and she couldn't confess that to me or to herself.

[–]Lu_the_Mad0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Do you think you learned anything valuable from the experience?

[–]De4thGr1n0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Well, I believe I learned to notice if I'm oneitis in a relationship when the other person. It strengthened my belief in some TRP principles (I don't always agree with TRP). And that I'll never leave "reason over feelings" again even if it fails a relationship because only with reason I can get an objective view on life and other people. Also, feeling over reason leads you to things like believing that if someone feels like a victim\gets angry\feels hurt it someone else's fault, That's not true, people can get offended , angry and what not because of their own ego and how it's defined. I don't think my ex has been manipulating me on purpose, I believe she victimized herself(making me feel guilty) so she can feel like "It's OK , He hurt me too".

[–]Lu_the_Mad0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I don't think my ex has been manipulating me on purpose

That sort of sounds like you are apologizing for her behavior. This is the wrong path to take.

While she might not have consciously sat down and said "I am going to manipulate him, and use the fact that he did x, y, and z to make myself feel better about taking more strange dick", she is an adult, and she knew what she was doing.

She created what ever justifications she needed, sure, and of course made you the bad guy in her mind. But she knew what she was doing.

Don't try and justify their behavior.

[–]De4thGr1n0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I honestly don't think she is self-aware enough. I think she can't see through her own victimization and self-pity. She is emotionally immature in that sense.

Throughout the relationship when she had times where she would wallow in her own self-pity\Victimization (not about me, just about life, workplace, and such) I would be the one that would be the voice of the Rational (and this was very hard for her). Not necessarily disagreeing with her but rather saying things like "Learn from it, wallowing in misery just gets you more depressed and lenient towards yourself"

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Ghosting is the best choice after any break up or broken plate. Because there's nothing left to do. You aren't getting sex and until that resumes again there should be no commitment, no attention.

Also remember that almost every single dude on this earth can't hold his no contact. He will always look to chat a former bitch/girlfriend up when he ran out of options. And most dudes totally run out of options. Guys on here know that they are assured of eventual pussy so we get automatic abundance. Most guys don't have this voice of absolute certainty.

Girls assume that you are gonna contact them again and that you're Beta because every previous boy has done so. You are riding the Beta wave off bad reputation brought forth by previous boyfriends. So when you do the opposite you become the exception. She can put you in the neat little box with the other beta boyfriends because you didn't behave like them.

To her she will have the X amount of boyfriends that tried booty calling her a year after the break up, wanted to stay friends, kept stalking them and she will have you. The guy that just vanished. Now guess what's gonna be on her mind more. An entire asteroid right of Beta orbiter exes or gravity defying you.

Hence the best thing is always the hardest thing. You need to man up and let go. Let go off everything that held you back before.

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

'Hence the best thing is always the hardest thing.'

It's a very hard thing to execute, very hard. But it's worth it.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

'Hence the best thing is always the hardest thing.'

Truer words have never been spoken my friend. You get it.

[–]basebool0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The only problem is that she will more likely than not track you down because she thinks someone kidnapped you or something like that. At least if you send one final text saying: "I know what you did, we are done", it's more of a clean slice.

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sending one final text is okay too, but don't get trapped in a non-ending back and forth.

[–]basebool0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly just as a final we are done because honestly theres so many possibilities of why your not answering your phone and the fact that your breaking up with her might not be one of the thoughts. Better to make it clear and then ghost

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The point is that you should just cut her off, whether you see it as revenge or not does not matter in the long run. At the end of the day, whatever you initial objective is, cutting off contact helps you in freeing your mind from her clutches and that is what is needed.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]lanky32[S] 19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

'So, along with ghosting, I would suggest one should spoil their reputation unbeknownst to them to all the people around'

That's a little tricky, it may work and it may also come back to bite you in the ass. If a girl knows that you are spoiling her reputation, she is likely to get super vindictive. She may spread all sorts of lies against you, she will play the victim, invent stories against you.

If she feels that you have spoilt her reputation too much, she may even play the rape card. If she does that, you are fucked. Nobody, would even listen to your version of the story. She just has to put her story on the social media and SJWs will make your life hell, the Police will be notified and you'll have fucked yourself in the ass.

It's a dangerous game to play. I wouldn't venture there.

[–]lodro2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a girl knows that you are spoiling her reputation, she is likely to get super vindictive. She may spread all sorts of lies against you, she will play the victim, invent stories against you.

And importantly: she will almost always win this game.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are making two mistakes in your advice.

First that he should be afraid of telling people the truth about his breakup because the girl could get vindictive and spread lies? Who gives a fuck? Drama like this should be fucking welcome because it separates the good people from the bad in your social circle. Any decent person who hears her lies will call it bullshit or at least try to confirm with you. If the truth is on your side you should never worry about what people think. People who make up their minds based on slander are people you want to keep out of your life.

I'll fucking say it, an enemy is almost as valuable as a friend, because except for yourself there is no other person putting more effort into your reputation. Being disliked by people of bad character is a good boost to your social standing.

Your second mistake is the "false rape accusation" fear mongering that seems to be ever-present here. It is a cover up for weakness, nothing more. A crazy bitch can accuse you of rape because she saw you on the bus or any other bullshit. If you let rape accusation fears control your actions you are being dominated.

I don't advocate actively spreading the news about your cheating girlfriend, but there is no reason to hide the truth.

[–]SuckMyFist-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

  • 4) Get some lowlife to throw acid on her face

We Westerners are way too soft with our cunts, that's why they disrespect us and betray us with Homo Africanus.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Don't expect exclusivity from women, and don't give them exclusivity. Love is not the same as sexual exclusivity. Demand that a woman use protection if she has sex with other men, and that's all. You can never know that you're not being cheated on, and you should always be free to have sex with women that will fuck you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Demand that a woman use protection if she has sex with other men, and that's all.

If you can't demand exclusivity, then you can't demand this either.

[–]WolffgangVW0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree that an unreliable person is an unreliable person, but the idea that a lack of sexual exclusivity must not be able to shake is solid

[–]WolffgangVW0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This also, monogamy is so over

[–]oxykitten80mg0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Brilliant! I could have really benefited knowing this 10 years ago, having gone through the situation and learning the hard way is why I can without a doubt say that this is exactly how to deal with the situation of a cheating ho!

[–]lanky32[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks. We all live and learn.

[–]WolffgangVW-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

That's dumb as hell. What you are calling 'ghosting', I call 'slinking off like a pussy'. It's fine if that's what you need to do, but don't dress it up.

Her petty shit can't bother you. If it does, and you act from that place, doesn't matter what you do, you already lost. She broke the arrangement, so she's out. Tell her matter of fact, and let it be done. Any further thought devoted to it is just playing her game.

[–]lanky32[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

'Her petty shit can't bother you.Tell her matter of fact, and let it be done.'

If it's petty shit, why do you even need to 'tell her matter of fact'?

How will it help you?

[–]WolffgangVW10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought that man speaks forthright like that, would go without saying. But that's the reason.

Sorry for wording it roughly, but my point is that you can't be emotionally invested in her acting out. Cheating isn't about you, and focussing on making sure the parting hurts her somehow means you're making it about you. You lose by playing.

To me, a clear, short 'it's over' is the most uninvested way to do it. I suppose just saying nothing is more ok as long as you could also be direct; as long as it's a legitimate choice, not a coping mechanism in disguise

[–]Dirkz-3 points-2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Tl;dr: Girl cheats on you, erase her from your life. Tl;dr:tl;dr: Fucking duh....

Do people really need to hear this? Are people on TRP really staying with someone who's cheating on them?

[–]1OneRedYear6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes some people do. The huge influx of blue pills here lately means some things have to be said.

[–]lanky32[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do people really need to hear this?

Yes.

[–]SigmaNOC1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

99% of people who fully get this are not here reading this.

The people here are either trying to learn and change (most) or teach others for the good feels and motivation (a few).

[–]I_eat_trees_4_bkfst0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do I NEED to hear this, no, but i like to come here and see the same things you guys talk about that I've developed over the years that have helped me get out of being a beta.

[–]Westernhagen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are plenty of guys out there who needed to hear this years or decades ago but didn't.

[–]ep1939-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

OP, while I do agree generally on your concepts, you sound like a bitter and immature human being full of anger.

[–]TurnDownForWhat-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

In other news, air is essential for human life. More at the bottom of the hour.

[–]newMe0109-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post actually its called NC in the other sub thread reddit helps me get back to my track after reading subrreddits thread, i got cheated now shes beging for me she tries to contact me , i change nh number emails deleted facebook,instagram. Im getting better now :-) simple word if you got cheated ghost her have some balls hahahaj

[–]aazav-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

The term ghosting means "following". That's not what you should do.

You go silent on her. Give her no feedback, no attention. No response. It will drive her mental.

[–]lanky32[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

'The term ghosting means "following". ' Wrong.

'You go silent on her. Give her no feedback, no attention. No response. It will drive her mental.'

Right.

[–]Grimsterr-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Read the title, said, "well, duh".

Actually read the wall of text, said "well, duh".

So, in short, well, duh.

[–]johnchapel-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

I like this post. It puts Into words something I've always practiced.

Although this doesn't work when in a relationship. Little difficult to just ghost a 2 year girlfriend.

[–]lodro5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

It works fantastically with 2 year relationships - it just happens to end them.

[–]johnchapel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't say anything about whether it works or doesn't work ultimately. I said it doesn't work in a long term relationship, given that 2 years of unconsciously splicing two lives together. It's difficult to simply ghost. It doesn't "take" right away

[–]SigmaNOC0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It works better with a longer term girlfriend.

[–]TheRealMouseRat-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

What? who in their right mind does anything other than cut all contact with a woman who has cheated on them. this is not even redpill.

[–]Josh_Thompson-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, I'll dump a load or a few then get her to agree to a train and have my friends get their fun. Place with no expectation of privacy, then leak the video or some bastard not me will and her family/friends/suitors will see the truth. Hilarious all around.



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