The path to getting laid is actually pretty simple when you break it down into its fundamental parts.
1- Look hot. Get yourself some muscles, dress well, have awesome hair. That way, you don’t get shooed away two seconds after walking up.
2- Escalate. Actually say flirtatious things and touch her and gauge her response instead of sitting there chatting like one of her girlfriends.
3- Don’t say loser shit. Loser shit includes being socially awkward, investing in her too much or too early, not having anything interesting to say, and so on.
That’s it. That is how you get laid. Be hot, escalate, don’t be socially awkward.
1 is easy. Well, actually it’s hard work, but there is a very clear and very well-defined path to success for #1. If you eat right, work out, groom, and wear clothes that fit, it’s pretty much impossible to not be good-looking enough to get laid. Unless you’re a grotesque burn victim, 4’6” tall, obviously handicapped in some way, or the like. There is no mystery about how to be better looking. None. Just do the work.
2 is harder, but still easy. You just have to have balls. You have to say and do things that the old you would have been afraid to say and do out of fear of rejection. You have to actually look women in the eye, say things that guys who fuck women say, and touch her, then see what she does. Maybe she rejects you, but that’s why there are 3,499,999,999 more women out there. The first time is hard, but once you just start doing this, it gets easy.
3 is the tough one. A lot of men out there are socially retarded. They say stupid shit to women and think it’s the right shit to say. The reason for this is actually very fundamental: Most men do not understand the purpose of the pre-fuck conversation with a woman.
So many guys approach girls with the best of intentions, then start talking and talking, trying to find some kind of common ground with the woman. Something to talk about. To make a friendly connection. To try to establish some kind of emotional intimacy. To actually chat with her, like you might with your friends. They think that this makes a woman comfortable with them, makes her like them, and makes her more willing to go home and fuck them. And that seems pretty logical, because we’ve spent our whole lives thinking women are supposed to want emotional intimacy before having sex, and women have spent their whole lives convincing themselves that emotional intimacy precedes sex. And it sure would make sense if emotional intimacy preceded sex.
But the huge majority of the time, this type of approach leads to the man thinking he’s hit it off with a girl, but the girl just wanting to be friends. Maybe she gives him her number, but then never responds to his follow-up text or flakes on their next date.
The man failed the test because he didn’t understand the purpose of the test. The pre-fuck conversation is not an attempt to make friends with the woman or establish emotional intimacy. That comes after you’ve been fucking her for awhile. Sex is a prerequisite to love, not the other way around.
The entire point of the pre-fuck conversation is to screen for autism, mental illness, under-confidence, and other sources of poor social skills. The pre-fuck conversation is your chance to flex your social muscles and demonstrate your social fitness. This is exactly the same way that your actual muscles demonstrate your physical fitness. A woman does not want to fuck a socially weak man, so she needs to screen men that pass the appearance test for social fitness. The last thing her subconscious wants is for her to go home with a hot guy, then find out that he’s weird and socially awkward and she might be pregnant with autistic loser genes.
Don’t treat the pre-fuck conversation as a friendly chat, because it isn’t. The pre-fuck conversation is how you present your social fitness, just like your gym body and clothes present your physical fitness. Most game aficionados will tell you that a pre-fuck interaction with a girl is night-and-day different than a normal conversation, because you’re not having a conversation. You’re exchanging demonstrations of social aptitude.
It is deceptive and offensive to women when you chat with them and try to make a friendly connection, then surprise! You actually wanted to fuck. Don’t talk with women like one of their girlfriends unless you actually want to be friends. It’s disrespectful. Respect women enough to actually try to fuck them.
Check out this and other content at The Red Pill's off-Reddit site. Here's a link.
To the bozo reporting arch for being married and giving advice. Rollo is married, and now an empty nester.
Men are here based on value, full stop
Even at the plate/FWB level, I prefer ongoing or long term relationships. I used to babble on merrily about relationship intentions, thinking it was a necessary precursor to sex.
TRP helped me solidify the concepts that relationship talk is the woman's prerogative, and to STFU and just escalate.
Once I learned to leave initiating relationship talk to her, I was amazed how little emerged and how late in the process it came! (AFTER we've slept together many times in most cases.)
I'll piggy back this because from time to time you'll find girls that are super weird about relationships for whatever reason and they will bring it up way faster than most chicks.
I'm going on a date tonight with a chick I've know for a long time, drop dead 10 but only had 1 serious relationship and has always been weird about sex.
Well she started hitting me with txts last night,
her - "What are you looking for in terms of romance?"
me - "anal"
her - "There's a lot you don't know about me"
me -"Let's have a second date before we talk about our 10 children and the names we're gonna pick" (She wants no kids and neither do I)
Never answer these questions seriously. Especially when it's less than a month or two regardless if you are fucking or not. All these questions are is anxiety and self consciousness. If you answer them seriously you feed into them and she will hamster away more.
Speak to a woman's emotions, not her words. By making fun of the situation and her concerns you show her it's not that big of a deal and her mood will lighten.
how do you get into that mindset? that's the biggest part I struggle with.
Not really sure, never thought about it. I've just always been able to read what a girl is feeling. Guess it's just experience or reading body language.
Might check out "What Every Body Is Saying" a book written by a 20 year ex-FBI agent that profiles people. You could also look into cognitive empathy, the neurological term for reading peoples emotions.
Tight. Just purchased this.
Cognitive empathy = what others are thinking. Emotional empathy = what others are feeling. Somatic empathy = feeling others physical pain.
Quality post!
Is there any social skilled guys here who want to share how did you get good? Especially in the approach and early interaction.
I feel very self-conscious when interacting with strangers for the first time. With people I'm comfortable is very easy. I don't even want to focus in getting laid I just want to improve my social skills while sober. Where to begin?
Formerly socially unskilled man (26yo) here. These days I have no problem approaching a group of women, and more often than not I generate interest. Every now and then my interactions lead to positive outcomes. This is up from 0% 18months ago.
My biggest and best advice is practice. Talk to everybody and use it as practice for match day (approaching girls). People are surprisingly responsive if you just talk to them, they like it!! Society sets a precedent that it's awkward or unusual to talk to strangers but fuck it, people love people that have the balls to do something different. Simply open a conversation and see what happens, you don't owe these people shit and you can leave at any time if it becomes uncomfortable. Now is a perfect time - Merry Christmas generates 100% positive responses.
You will get rejected and you will make a dick if yourself several times. The idea is to learn from your mistakes and practice practice practice!!!
The ability to learn from your mistakes is an acquired ability. It requires active analysis of your behaviour and its consequences with respect to those around you, and let's face it that not everyone puts in time and focus/attention in developijg this self-awareness. Id argue that most aren't even aware that self-awareness is something that gets more acute with practice. But the more self-aware you are, the more you can absorb and learn from. The more subtleties your self-aware "radar" picks up (including the subtle signs girls give). The faster you analyze a situation and come up with possible courses of action.
So start analyzing yourself.
I don't have any input but I wanted to say I really love the name "Cunt_Robber".
I'll have to agree with u/bowie747. I'm 25 and started my early adult life not knowing how to approach people/women. Now, I can confidently say I'm better than most.
The best thing you can do as a beginner is approach a cute girl as soon as you see her (without over thinking if it's a good idea or not; it is a good idea) and then go home & watch a few vids on how to approach/interact with women. Notice how I say to approach first. It's much more important than vids and books, and frankly, if you don't have the balls to approach you're not ready for any vids. If you're afraid to even shoot, you shouldn't be in practice.
Oh and it's gonna feel great, then it's gonna suck, then you're gonna get laid, then you're gonna get your heart broken, then it's gonna be fun again.... Learn to get rid of your emotions
You're gonna have A LOT of girls basically tell you you're not worth a conversation, a date, or sex. The trick is to stay confident and unreactive long enough for the girl who DOES actually think she should be swallowing your balls. If you let 30 girls who were mean to you ruin your view of yourself, the 1 girl that likes you is gonna be really confused and not attracted to you.
When I would tell girls I was having sex with that I've never had a gf, they would be visibly confused and turned off. They'd all make a face like I just asked them a tough math question. The only thing that matters to that 1 girl is her mental movie of you, so stay sharp
This is good goddamn advice.
maybe just think about how many invitations to social events of all sorts you turned down in the last 3 months... just go out, and your lizard brain will pick up, process and learn everything without you even thinking about it.
You need to get in 'state' where it becomes really easy and you are not stifled.
Simple pickup calls it God Mode.
I either watch a few RSD Infield, watch a tribute video of Harvey Specter or Neal Caffrey to get into the mood, and sometimes i go in public and just start saying hi to people walking by and eventually the stifled-ness goes away
That stuff helps but mental state is based on physical state. Imagine trying to open when you're horribly constipated and holding in horrible farts. That's an obvious example. In more subtle ways your dietary and lifestyle choices add up. Did you recently eat cookies or processed food with chemicals that produce ADHD symptoms? Are you overtrained? Maybe youre intimidated by other guys cause yoy cant fight and you know you dont workput enough? Sleep deprived? Did you meditate to reduce cortisol and increase testosterone?
Throwing on a good video or whatever to hype yourself up will last but a moment
This is exactly what charisma myth says in the first two chapters. Get your physical comfort maximum before even bothering with being "charismatic".
Jesus. That's Doctorate-level shit*.
Edit: By the word "shit" I meant information or insight. It was a poor choice of words to describe how surprised I was about how much randomly useful information was in this one comment. I just came back to clarify my intent.
"Thanks for giving me a lot of good stuff to think about" would have probably worked as well.
halp, i cant game this ho! im scurred her bff's gonna fite me IRL!
Interacting with people might help. But to be honest, you either have "it" or not.
What a self limiting belief! Shut the fuck up!
When I was 17 I was super shy that I couldn't even buy a coca-cola without feeling unconfortable. I'm 29 now and my social skills improved a lot. Nobody that knows me tells me I'm shy. What I want to know is how to take things to the next level. Like approach a group of women in day time and mantain a good conversation.
2 years ago I got my ass dumped by my ex and if listened to faggots like you probably I was still jerking off. In the past 2 years I fucked 16 women and made out with at least 40. Sure, it's not big numbers but at least they weren't fat neither ugly. My biggest frustration I met all this girls when I'm drunk.
Men are built from adversity not created in the cradle with a prefab lure that gets you whatever you want.
good post. friendliness and familiarity DESTROY a woman's sexual attraction to a man.
So what the fuck do you talk about then??
Non-serious low-challenge lowest-common-denominator social banter.
"Is that girl seriously wearing uggs in here? Tell me you wouldn't wear uggs to a club."
"That' shit's hot. You into it?"
"Turn around. Why? Because I didn't get a good look at your ass when I ealked up."
I have known two guys in my life who I'd describe as 'naturals' and they both did this. A mixture of lowest-common-denominator shit and plain old nonsense. Women lapped it up. So I believe you 100%.
However it's harder than many people realise to come out with this stuff fluently on demand. It's definitely something I've struggled with. I tend to overthink it and the conversation becomes more intellectual, which is a disaster for sex appeal, no matter how much women claim be attracted to intelligence (which is hamster bullshit).
How do you learn to spout this lowest-common-denominator stuff on demand? Maybe I'm autistic as fuck but it's not an easy skill to master.
Basically, erase every intellectual, nerdy, information-heavy thought from your head, and concentrate on the here-and-now.
The heavily-sexual here-and-now. What's your opinion of her ass, her clothes, that weird-ass drink in her hand, etc.
Tease her, like you're both in grade school on a playground, and then switch back to pretty blatant sexualized comments.
Also, if you couch it in the right "accepting" manner, and the right "hey, we both know what's up, girl" manner and tone, you can stand there and talk about almost every red pill concept, and have her nodding along and agreeing.
Someone here wrote a really good post a while back about "Party World." Look that up too.
Congratulation, you just summarized game in 3 paragraphs. All of what we have been talking about, and what incenses women when they are not horny, is this combination of escalation and talking nonsense.
That is why there are all these betas and "male feminists" walking around. They have only been on tepid coffee dates where their wallets have been sized up. They have never locked eyes with a hottie and let her know that "it's on" through body language and then walked up for some nonsense chat.
The fact that I recognize this does not make it any easier for me but at least I understand reality. That is called swallowing the red pill.
We men focus on logic, the physical world and how machinery works, etc. etc. And women can function well in this world too. But when it comes time to fuck them, they seek the emotional thrill that the logical world cannot provide.
Does that include talking shit about other people at parties? I recall this weird kid saying "Only low intelligence people talk about others" in a group talk one time.
Oh my, you have described my problem in a nutshell. Engineer minded autist that can't talk about trivial shit.
Just make observations about the immediate environment. Also almost no one cares about intellectual bullshit. Think about it objectively, it's boring. I enjoy programming, rather talk about who would win between a sea turtle and a octopus if they both had Spears attached to them.
Now that you mention this, I just remembered what David DeAngelo said in one of his books. He explained that one way you can do this kind of stuff is imagining stuff you could say about a specific thing. Even if they do not make sense. For example, how the color red reminds you of elephant skin because you like to breath. Also, he said that another way is to watch a lot of stand up comedies. Whatever works for you.
I completely agree with you. How to learn it? Practice, practice, practice.
Before my first gf I was an autistic sperg lord who could only have intellectual discussions based on facts, theories or empirics. My first gf approached me hard (thank god for my looks), and so she became my gf and I spent a lot of time with her. Obviously when you are young you try to please so I learned to keep a conversation with her, and after 6 months I could find any casual topic and just banter on it. That was really zero-value added talk, but she enjoyed it a lot. Oh well.
After the breakup I could talk to any person about any bullshit topic, with the best topics being the zero fucking value added topics and comments that people LOVED to hear and talk about.
Wow so how can I do that with people, not just girls? Can you give an example?
I have the capability of doing it but it usually means I need to be in a specific state of mind like a little drunk or very tired. Which basically means IDGAF attitude. Being out of your god damn head.
It's not that you can't do it it's because you are in you head all the time. I bet you are a programmer or in general problem-solver at work. So you are trained to be in you head all the time. The only thing to counter that is by being more social as in attending more social events and start exposing yourself more.
Like 1 it's not a mystery. It's just hard work and scary because you're out of your comfort zone. And like getting ripped, it takes months to years depending where you start from.
As an alcoholic, let me tell you drinking is not the crutch you think it is. You sound like an idiot to everyone that isn't drunker than you, it just sounds good to you because your innebriated.
In addition it will actually hurt your real social skills, as practice while in an altered state will not carry over to your sober self, no matter how much you want them to.
Social events are overrated, if your within speaking distance of a single person, you can socialize, make banter, laugh etc. Just passing someone in the hallway at work is more than enough opportunity for low denominator banter which everyone enjoys.
Just say the first thing that comes to mind (Filtering out retardation). How you say it matters and your manner of saying it/body language even more so than what you actually say as long as it isnt downright stupid
I think as a first step is to turn of your filter and control completely. Yes, you will fail miserably as you will say stupid shit but the point is to train to let go, get out of your head and stop controlling every thought.
Shit, now that I think about it the times I've done the best are the times I talk about bull shit.
I can't do it either. Watch Oprah to practice vapid fee fee's? They say the key is "being in the moment" which is one of the key traits they are testing for with all the Shit.
Humor is a display of intelligence and of course confidence. That's why it works so well.
I can't decide if your username is just coincidence or not, because I wholly disagree with your advice. I agree with a lot of what OP said in his post. The conversation is the part where the man needs to demonstrate his "social muscles". Choosing the "lowest common denominator" topics, as you said - trashing other people's clothing, some kid of ambiguous statement about something being hot(???), and a cheesy pick-up line - is a guaranteed way to make YOU also look like the lowest common denominator.
Don't trash other people. Imagine how that's going to look as a woman. A guy approaches you and starts making fun of strangers. Not classy. Or mature. It's very childish and extremely rude, and I honestly can't imagine any woman saying to herself, "wow, this seems like a fun guy! The way he puts others down to bring himself up is so sexy. I wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't pointed out how much better he is by comparison to everyone else!" Come on.
I'm guessing your second statement is in reference to music that could be playing? That might be okay if you have a good follow up that isn't "what other kid of music do you like? Tell me, because I'm a good listener." Maybe a good gateway to an actual relationship in a different setting, but in a bar or club, no one is there looking for that. Segue it into an interesting anecdote about crashing the backstage of a Pearl Jam concert and meeting the band, then yeah, you've got something. Not because Pearl Jam is so cool, but because they're well-known enough that anyone will likely recognize the name, probably even know at least one or two songs, but also outdated enough that the chance of the woman being an actual fan and asking hard-to-answer follow up questions to your made up story is incredibly low.
Anyway, though, your advice is terrible and I think you really must be trolling. "Turn around because I didn't get a good look at your ass when I first walked up,"? Dude, come on. Pick up lines work because they're just silly fun and they can make the girl at least smile if not laugh, but that one is just awful. The girl that is okay with that line is not one you want to be with for the night. That's a desperate girl.
Your post is, I feel, wrong on several levels.
The bottom line is that you've got this wierd "I am very smart" thing going on, that you think is a strength, but is actually your biggest weakness.
This is why my post offended you so much... because your being so smart and intellectual forms a central part of your self-identity, and even the whiff of what looks like a challenge to the ultimate utility of intellect feels like a slam on the core of your being.
That's a weakness.
First, that "turn around" thing isn't a pickup line.
It's a command. "Turn around."
Second, it's not meant to make anyone laugh. It's not told as a joke. It's said with the intent of making someone turn around and show thier ass to you, at your command.
The "because I didn't get a good look at your ass on the way over" part isn't a punchline. It's not delivered with a wink or a grin. It's delivered deadpan, as a statement of fact, with no voice uptick at the end.
It's you telling her that you are a sexual creature, that you want her in particular, that you have no fear of stating your sexual intentions plainly, and that you furmly believe that you are a high-value male who can simply state what he wants, and that you expect compliance.
Third, women ARE desperate; deeply desperate, for high-value men.
She's not at the club looking for Billy Beta to come crack jokes or try lines on her. That shit is disgusting to her. A night being approached by joking betas is a night where she'll go home alone and wonder why no actual men approached her.
Fourth, again, if YOU are the high value one in a relationship, then the lower value one in the relationship will be desperate to get with you and to try and keep you.
If you're NOT the higher value person in the relationship, and you're male, then how the fuck are you getting laid?
I'll keep this short, because I don't have enough time right now to write out a full response addressing every point, but I still want to respond to you. First, I will admit that you clearly put more thought into your original response than I gave you credit for. I still don't agree with everything, but you did clarify some points that I misinterpreted. I still think the "turn around" line is awkward. As a cheesy pick-up line to make a girl smile or laugh, there are much better lines. As a command, I think it would be off-putting. That might be because I already have pre-conceived notions about it, but imagining it as the "ice breaker" line, delivered stone-faced and deadpan just seems... creepy. Like I think a girl would first assume it was a pick-up line and then when the guy is totally serious and expectantly waiting for her to actually turn around, that would cause a very sudden and unexpected mood shift from light and fun to dramatic and... not "heavy", but just overly serious. Not necessarily a bad thing, because as far as making your intentions clear, I can't imagine a better way. It's announcing to her that you are there for sex. No compromises. Which is good, but how many men could pull that off? It also would put enormous pressure on the rest of the pre-fuck conversation.
I am interested in your "I am very smart" comment, because a lot of why I didn't like your first response was that I felt like what you were saying was giving that vibe yourself. Not in an intellectual way, but just a "look at how much better I am than the rest of these schmucks" in general. So what did you mean about a whiff of anything that challenges my intelligence? The only affront to my intelligence I took from your comment was just that I thought it was dumb advice (and I did mean what I said above, that I underestimated the thought put into your comment. So I don't feel that way now.), and I agree with you that how you think I responded would be a weakness. So because I don't agree with you that that's how I responded, I want to know why you thought that so I can avoid it in the future.
I'm in one of those colleges dominated by feminism. If I'm average looking guy with high value "frame" doing the things you described above, would I pull off? Or should I decrease my aggressiveness? I actually want to be forward and this feeling is coming from inside. I am not faking it. Should I let it go? I'm not socially calibrated enough, I think.
Only way to find out is to try it?
Incredibly perceptive, and equally accurate I presume.
He isn't gaming the chick at the coffee shop or the one in the Ritz hotel bar....
He is talking about the girls on Jersey Shore or at Miami dance clubs....
That is why I have asked for actual practical advice on #3 for the newbies because I suspect that most of the advice would only apply in a very tiny arena, such as in a Jersey Shore dance club after about 1am and not in every day meetings.
If someone thinks that "saying show me your ass" to a woman whom runs her own consulting business while sitting at the bar in the Vendue Inn is going to get her panties wet\dragging you to her room...then you know that they have limited things to contribute.
True. This advice was specifically for picking up young women at dance clubs to take home and have sex.
At the Ritz Hotel Bar, of course, you simply get down to business and disuss price, as the girl alone at the bar there, waiting on strange men to approach is either a prostitute or a gold digger.
I think it's time for an AMA from a male stripper on how that woman with her own consulting business acts when she's actually sexually aroused. (HINT: She ain't sucking on brains, or swallowing polite repartée).
Dead wrong on your first point. Women fucking love it when you make fun of other people to them. Especially if your perceptive and witty about it, shows your not seeking others validation, your putting yourself above others, which is how she wants to see you, and it gives her that dirty secret feeling all women fucking crave.
Your giving voice to what she's already thinking but would never say, and you just showed the social intelligence that you get it.
I'd reread no more mr. nice guy if you think women dry up at guys with balls and humor.
You dont think Pearl Jam is cool?
Fuck that
Lol, I do like Pearl Jam, actually, but they are not exactly the "hot" thing anymore. It's probably not going to be the most relatable thing to mid-20 y.o. ladies at the club.
So "high" challenges are bad?
What do you mean by "high" challenges?
Well the guy said use "low challenging teases" so I thought that meant being too challenging was an issue .
about things that make no sense. Mostly stuff you have (or haven't) done in the past, but talk about it as if they were great adventures, cuz that's how you roll. High chance she can't help but talk about herself then, that's when you know you're good to go and can stop talking about your life. She wasn't listening anyway. Keep pushing her into talking about her (you can think about more important stuff in between a couple of COOL or WOW). If she labels you, amplify... amplify that shit till her fantasy is out of control. It should be pointless, casual, relaxed, never talk about anything serious... just a big bunch of whatever leading to her asking you to go back to the same bedroom.
Example: just like the boring fuck they usually are, she asks about your job or whatever you've been doing that day - say you're a stripper. No, for real! Last month I was in Thailand, and some girls over there asked me if I could dance with them. Or were they men? Would you have checked this out yourself? You've never been to Thailand, you know about shemales right? Where do you spend holidays? Then let it roll.
plot twist - I think this boring AF. But you get the idea
it really doesn't matter what you say, just how you say it.
I struggle with getting too deep in conversation too.
Be like Jerry, keep it light. (with teasing and escalation)
http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/
Clear, concise, brutally honest. This is redpill sexual strategy in a nutshell. Thank You!
at good looking loser he calls it looks, social freedom, and killer instinct. interestingly similar trilogy
It can be simplified even further: Don't be a bitch!
because "be hot" is very obviously contained in "don't be a bitch!". Wait. No actually it ain't. "escalate" ain't either. Actually I just don't see how you could see that "Be hot, escalate, don’t be socially awkward." can be summed up in "Don't be a bitch!".
It's summated by double negative. When I say bitch, I'm talking about the male version of bitch. In red pill culture, being beta is often synonymous with "being a bitch". Now we know that by definition, the typical beta isn't hot (terrible style, doesn't really lift, no self improvement, etc), doesn't escalate (cuz he's a bitch boy), and is a social retard.
By contrast, we know that an alpha is hot, he escalates, and he's not socially awkward. Thus, the phrase "Don't be a bitch!" can be interpreted as "Be Alpha!" which, in hindsight, is actually an even more condensed version of the original. Anyone who's been red for a while should be able to come to the same conclusion I did after looking at the phrase "Don't be a bitch!". There's 2 other upvotes that supports this!
Spy kids reference in your name?
It's actually matrix. The numbers spell "the one" on the dialpad. Thought would be appropriate for red pill purposes.
Some historical analysis might help here.
In the "pre-Child Support" era when women had to be very concerned about gaining the emotional attachment of men in order to survive they were in a position to actually care.
These days women can fuck a guy... take his DNA... then simply ride the Child Support Family Court induced male slavery until the child becomes an adult.
She is looking for a new thing now.
The post-natural woman is no longer survival dependent.
This new woman is after thrills... sexual thrills.
So stop being the "Gentle Man" to her... the "Age of the Gentleman" died when they started letting women vote.
Even back in the "good ol' days", women couldn't be trusted to make good sexual decisions. They were constrained by society. A woman did not speak with a man unless they had first been introduced, usually by her parents. So for a man to even be talking to her, he had already been vetted by Mom and Dad as a good provider from a good family, and not just a muscular cad. And women who strayed from this model were sent away, impoverished.
Even in more modern history, when that wasn't the case, women were still constrained socially, because sluts, knocked-up gals, unmarried gals, and childless gals were ostracized. And women were financially dependent on their husbands. Even if a woman wasn't head-over-heals horny for her husband, she was grateful that he was a good man who took good care of her.
The very second women were no longer financially dependent on men -- the very second -- they started fucking hot, fun guys outside of marriages like it was going out of style. Sex became empowering recreation.
Women were never better people back in the "good ol' days". Being sexually conservative and submissive isn't female nature. They were just as shitty as they are now, but they were constrained. The second financial dependency is no longer an issue, women slut around. That's female nature. Women are hedonistic sluts. That's their natural state if they're not contained.
See I would believe except that I don't completely buy into the appearance gene bullshit. Because yes, I have seen ugly short guys punch way above their level, and no they weren't PUA's either, as cliche as that sounds. Women don't completely and utterly sync with evolutionary biological strategims of selection, and I have seen them with men that they shouldn't be with in the first place......
Birth control modulates female attraction to prefer more feminine and non dominant men, and decreases their sex drive altogether. That's why you get these smokeshows hooking up with atypical men. It's a common occurrence when a woman comes off bc to have a kid that she loses all attraction for her beta.
You're talking about a very small minority of women though.
no i am being serious when I saw it's actually a sizable amount of them...
I'll put my bet on confirmation bias here: they're the oners that are out of place and noticeable. You don't need to be a PUA either to have solid social proof, guts to escalate and get in.
Some ugly dudes just have balls and game. Remember attractiveness to women is different than when we see a pair of tits with an ass. They want strong willed dominant men not necessarily the most beautiful guy around because being pretty doesn't really help kill in defense of your territory
You must live in the Southern US....the bizarro of the mating world.
Chubby, neckbearded yokels whose idea of self-improvement is changing from chewing bakker to dippin snuff.
And they are smothered with every hot local girl wanting to bang in their rusted out pickup trucks....of course, it also has the highest divorce rate and single parent households in the nation.
Imagine that....sitting around swapping fart jokes with a barely literate moron gets boring as fuck as these chicks pass their 23rd birthdate.
It is largely why I am cynical of many of the stories here of these all-knowing masters of the universe women that a lot of TRPers are always talking about who know every move and always read very social situation perfectly...they are few and far between in rural southern America.
The phenomenon actually isn't that surprising or complicated. Besides the stuff we talk about here, women generally are sexually attracted to men that resemble their own fathers.
It's really deeper than that though. I forget the exact term for it but it is some type of psychological projection that everyone does.
Your attraction to certain traits are projected by those who had major influences on you in life. Especially childhood.
These projected traits can be both good and bad. It really depends how much of an effect the person's trait had on your life.
This is why you see both genders who go after a certain "type". Of course, it is all done in a very subconscious level so there is very little chance you'll truly be able to point out your own projected types.
no this in the midwest, even in public places and towns....
Go back and watch or read "pride and prejudice".
Even when women were concerned about securing provisioning for themselves (half the talk about a man is how much money he makes a year). They were STILL going out and fucking the bad boys and hot guys, and that's what the other half of the conversation is about. This was before women were voting, before child support laws.
The reason it is a "timeless classic" is that it is a "fundamentally" true story. The parson/cousin is a boring beta. The officers/bad boy is Alpha Fucks. Bingly is a beta provider with good genetics. And Darcy is an alpha with even stronger wealth.
Bingley is "the natural". Wickham is the bad boy alpha fucks. Be like Mr Darcy. The ideal of this forum. A leader, dominating. Controlling. Attractive.
Just don't be a boring beta provider and you're halfway there.
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Wrong with that? Sex is easier to come by today than ever before.
If and only if you're in the upper tier of men, and maybe the upper 50 percent of women.
But everybody is lazy and hedonistic nowadays, so really, all a guy needs to do is work out and not be a social retard, and he's head and shoulders above most other guys.
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I think you accidentally clicked a link to The Red Pill this morning, thought to yourself, "oh, one of those manosphere things" and turned your critical thinking off for a few hours.
Nobody here is trying to go back to the "good ol' days". The entire point of The Red Pill is determining the best way to navigate the system, as it is today, to maximize your power and sexual opportunity.
Because our natural behaviors are chaos and destructive to society. We punish people for murder and theft because it builds a better society. Constraining female sexuality with marriage and traditional values is part of this. Men are not motivated to contribute to society with no hope for puss or a family. When women are free to duck whoever they choose only the best men available, where as men are happy to spread their seed.
Tldr read the sidebar.
Because natural selection means that if I'm bigger and faster than you, at any time I want, I can come and kill you and take your accumulated possessions, and your woman.
We don't want nature, red in tooth and claw. We want civilization, with peace and art and modern conveniences like air conditioning. Unfortunately, it's not up to us. TRP deals with what is, not what you or I would like.
The problem with evolutionary psychology, is that a lot of modern human behavior and physiological traits, is not actually the result of natural adaptation at all; because it ignores the fact that our planet has had events where its surface was exposed or bombarded by high degrees of cosmic radiation residue, this caused all sorts of random mutations and changes to animals and organisms. This also contributed to human evolution and the evolution of other species on this planet. However 99.8% of ignoramuses on this subreddit, like the people applying flawed evolutionary psych on male-to-female dynamics here in this post, are completely unaware of this reality....
So... those random mutations didn't get filtered out through natural selection?
Mutations occur all over the place. Those that have an apt for survival, survive. Those who do not fit their environment, die out.
Nope! Both humans and animals today have a lot of traits and characteristics that are not even necessary for survival at all.
Obviously if a trait is not detrimental to one's survival, it will not be eliminated in the gene pool. So as long as a specie develops certain shared traits, eccentric traits are allowed if they are not detrimental to survival and reproduction. RP capitalises on the shared traits, particularly those of the lizard brain. That's why we have AWALT.
You have to present some examples of which quirks generate important differences between people to support your argument.
Found the autist. What the fuck does cosmic radiation have to do with red pill/sexual strategy? And how the fuck are you gonna back that claim up in a reddit comment anyway?! This is one of the most ridiculous presumptions ive seen on here. Get real, man
You seem to deliberately ignore the fact that 99% of natural selection is sexual selection.
My friend, it really isn't on a long term choice basis, and you would realize this if you think deeply about it and from experience and you take black swan events shaping our genetic history into account...
"Most game aficionados will tell you that a pre-fuck interaction with a girl is night-and-day different than a normal conversation"
All well and good to claim something, but without examples it comes across as blowing smoke.
Can your method of proper pre-fuck conversation method translate across multiple venues of interaction?
If they involve only the gaming of severely drunk girls in a dark dance club then they might not be usable to anyone but club PUA "aficionados".
So are you proposing that in some venues, the proper approach is to walk up, introduce yourself, ask a woman her name, ask what she does for a living, ask good follow-up questions about her job, ask about her family, and answer similar questions about yourself? That is how to get laid in non-club venues?
No...what I said was that telling the new guys here that you have the secret formula conversation method which drops panties and calling other people losers for not having your secret formula without giving them examples of what you would do instead of their loser methods it isn't really helpful to those guys trying to figure it out.
I can say that you must vibe with girl and she will fuck you silly....but if I don't give an example then I haven't really been helpful.
I think you found the center of the maze.
In all honesty some people on here are the worst, they're just self-conscious losers from high school who are now try hards...but TRP is a whole is great for understanding the general way that things are.
All hail westworld! Yeah TRP has definitely illuminated me. I'm hesitant with all the bro science but the books have been a game changer along with the best of rollo each year.
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I thought the same, but his leaving it wide open actually turned this thread to pure gold. If you go through the comments there are loads of different answers from people with a variety of experience.
Arch is not a PUA and he is not writing a book, so far as I know. He made a high quality post on Red Pill theory.
Feel free to help fill out his post with examples from PUA. Others can fill it out with examples from Married Red Pill etc
PUAs give examples, they're called lines and they're not worth shit. You can ask her if she shaved her pussy in the shower before your date and how she reacts will depend on how you ask. Why are people on this forum still trying to find secret formulas?
Escalating is a pretty universal TRP tactic, not like OP invented it...
Why... Do you need an example? Is it that hard to escalate? Touch her. Make a joke, and touch her on the arm. Dont look at the place you touch when you do so. She will either not mind or she will shrink back. If she doesnt mind, feel free to touch more!
Damn, some people just need silver spoons.
He wasn't talking about touching..he was specifically was calling people losers for having the wrong conversations method\style.....
Touching definitely has to be done but that was not #3...the topic was the pre-fucking conversation.....geez.
Have another reply in this thread about that. Tldr is be observant, keep it light, body language and how you say something matters more than what it is unless its somehow really offensive.... So keep it light.
That's a strawman but yes surely you've heard of indirect openers that lead with conversation and comfort building. Roosh wrote multiple books about indirect openers like this.
That is something like the standard pua model. It works in some ways. Trp is on steroids. I think both are informational.
But yeah i wish i knew what you meant by pre fuck convo... i need an example.
The problem with examples is they are situational. I make up my stuff on fly based on my environment (So observe. Dont auto pilot. Notice shit.). But keep it chill. My more aggressive ones usually involve something she is wearing. Some guys can get away with downright flirty compliments but I rather use plausably deniable ones. Things they can hamster as just social banter. You start with that and make it flirtier and touch bolder as time goes.
I honestly think pleasant small talk works. Even though I hate pleasant small talk. Many girls will open for you if you're interesting enough to them. They're often really strait forward. For them social interactions always a given-- they're always on the receiving end of pleasant experiences so they're pretty blunt.
Great post! The big one is #3
Be a lover, not a friend.
Right. Be overtly sexual. Make your sexual interest clear and unmistakable.
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Just looked over your profile due to your earlier down voted comments. You've entertained a lot of blue pill dogma in the past.
Just learn to talk to people first. Learn social skills. Then learn how escalate. Take it slowly. Learn all the shit gradually. Look good, make it a mission to get healthy and fit, for your own sake as well as women.
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Build up some history of having successful conversations with women first. That'll give you confidence that you are a social person and can have a successful conversation. That's step 1.
Read one of the top posts of all time "talk to everyone". Not just attractive women, all women, guys, whatever. Drop the sexual intentions until you get this part down. This goes against archwingers advice generally but you need to get this part down before you can start to escalate.
My issue is I try to talk about deep and serious stuff wayy too quickly. I'm not interested in chit chat. This is my area for improvement.
I also have Aspergers. It's something that makes you unique, and some women will think it makes you cute or funny. Not all of them will of course. In my case I have become pretty good at delivering dryly worded one liners that make women laugh.
If you have a naturally monotone, expressionless way about you, you may be able to use this trait to your advantage. You can come off as very strong / mysterious / confident to an NT. For example, if you say something overtly sexual to her with a straight face. You may be slapped by a few women before you get the hang of it. But eventually you may get the hang of it.
Whatever you do, don't tell the girl you have Aspergers. That won't get you laid.
You can still Sarge, right? Enter a room and take charge. Tell the girls what to do. Speaking directly (in the language of your kind) isn't a huge barrier to any of this. Worrying about how the conversation is going is the huge barrier.
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I've read a lot of your posts. I'm just going to be brutally honest. It sounds like you need to work on appearance quite a bit.
I'd wager a lot of what you're blaming on aspergers is really a lack of confidence.
The wolf guy from Twilight would still get laid with aspergers. Remember creep vs awe that's kinda cute is all about perception. I think you're turning people off and blaming it too much on aspergers.
Work out. Diet. Take good vitamins. Tell yourself you're a god until you feel you are. And as you become one that will bolster it too. It's a chicken or egg in a way.
On the bright side you have plenty of time and room to go up.
Best of luck.
Is there a good post on here about making sexual intentions clear in a flirtatious manner? I need some examples of how guys who got some, did it. I could spin off my variants then, using them as templates.
Fair enough but how do you do it? Any practical advice?
Did you ever see Pulp Fiction? If not, you should. Not for the acting or plot or characters or crazy timeline-skipping, but for how the movie is done.
The entire movie is dialogue driven. It starts out with John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson on their way to some idiot's apartment, on behalf of their criminal boss, to kill the guy. In any other movie, these two thugs would be talking to each other about the plot. They'd be talking about how they're going to get there, use these types of guns, say these things, shoot at these types of people, and so on.
But there's no need for that, because when they get there and do all of that, the plot's already clear. Having the characters talk about the plot would just be a waste of screen time.
So instead, these guys chat about how Travolta just got back from Amsterdam, and doing a shit-ton of drugs, and how you can get a big-ass beer in a movie theater, and how the Quarter Pounder over there has a different name due to the metric system. They chat about this rumor that a coworker got pushed off of a rooftop by their boss for giving his wife a foot-rub, and whether a foot-rub is inherently flirtatious and sexual or not. They chat about everything but the plot.
When you walk up to a girl and initiate a conversation, you want to use an interesting opener. You don't want to ask her what her name is, what she does for a living, what her family is like, and start trading interview questions about each other. That's boring, and it's a waste of screen time. You're not trying to get to know about her job and her siblings. You want to fuck her.
You also don't want to talk about your name and what you do for a living and how your job goes every day and what your parents are like. That's stupid. Instead, you should be talking about interesting shit that demonstrates social aptitude and keeps her on the hook. Let her find out personal shit about you inferentially, as you tell other stories. Not by you telling her shit about yourself.
I know. It's bullshit small talk that doesn't matter. But women love that shit. If a woman talks to you about nothing for two hours, giggling and having a good time the whole while because you're fun and interesting, she'll feel like she knows you better than she actually does, and she'll be really comfortable with you. Comfortable enough to fuck.
If you talk to a woman about yourself and herself in a very obvious and direct effort to get to know her, that's awkward and heavy and boring. Even if she doesn't have a bad time, she's going to leave the bar, club, coffee shop, or wherever you happen to be, meet a guy who's actually fun the next night, and when you text her a few days later, she just won't respond.
Good shit and needs to be higher up or appended to the main text because the socially awkward don't and won't know how to approach this but you illustrate it well here.
It could be its own thread: "How to get laid by watching Pulp Fiction."
thanks dude. i haven't laughed at a comment on reddit for a solid month or two
I think this is the best comment on how to have a conversation that I've ever read. I need to internalize and practice this next time I'm out. Thank you.
Thanks for this Arch. This brings the original post to light for me
the blueberry pancakes killed bruce willis tho
This is gold. Use stories...this girl kept asking me direct questions tonight "how many members of my family, etc". I said "let's use stories instead, more fun to infer" and we exchanged stories. Im on my way to her place right now after a drink. It's on. Appreciate the post.
The idea of "bullshit small talk" is where I think a lot of books about "how to talk to people, how to make people like you" miss the point on. In recent months its become very apparent to me that socializing isn't really seduction. For example, being interested in someone is one of those cardinal rules of having social interactions go well, or staying around topics such as Family Occupation Recreation Dreams. While I am being a perfectly normal and polite human being for this style of socializing, it is a killjoy for anything seduction. It subcommunicates boredom to the girl.
this is why i--after two years ago discovering trp--still come here occasionally
thanks bro
Great pulp fiction analogy
So basically have a fluid conversation instead of just asking questions back and forth?
I mean, no offense really, but there are people that don't realize this?
Fuck man, the state of men today is more fucked than I thought, good thing there is TRP.
There are nearly a dozen comments on this post that go, "But how? You didn't tell us how to talk to women or what to say!?"
I agree with what you're saying however there is a big flaw in your post. You frame step 3 purely in negative terms without positive explanations or demonstrations of what you're supposed to do. You saw that you shouldn't say loser shit - fine. Well what is the winner shit you are supposed to say? You need examples of this; or do you not know what they are yourself?
You need a how to small-talk guide? I mean, the whole point of you having to talk to girls before they'll fuck you is specifically to weed out boring and autistic weirdos who can't small-talk.
Uh... Okay, so I asked this one girl a the gym an honest question: How many drawers in her dresser does the average gym-going woman have that are filled entirely with psychedelic-colored leggings? She joked with me about wanting to know about women's clothing, to which I retorted how great my legs and ass would look and asked for some color recommendations. Which led to "Uh...yeah, of course I work out. We're talking in the middle of a gym", chatting about our kids, some light touching/giggling.
I was getting some tea after a workout on a different day, so I asked the girl at the coffee shop what the plainest, greenest, normal-ist tea she had was. Without any crap in it besides tea. After she recommended some blend of sencha, I then ordered a roobus chai with extra cinnamon. For some reason, she thought it was hilarious that I was fucking around with her. Must have been a boring shift.
I mean, you just talk to people, but without the awkward crap where you're trying to get to know them, make friends, get a date or number or lay, and that way you avoid them wondering why the fuck you're talking to them or what you want.
Give us a guide to small talk then, because it doesn't come to all of us naturally. This is more helpful then being a condescending POS so....
Small talk is all about avoiding awkward silence. It's not talking. It's more about protecting a woman from her crippling fear of awkward silence. I have seen women do crazy things when faced with too much awkward silence such as randomly lie about having to help their neighbors move out of their apartment at 2am, lol.
Basically just talk about stuff which has no meaning or purpose but only talks for the sake of talking.
"This spaghetti reminds me of that time in a movie where there was a guy chasing a car because it was his neighbor's car that (blah blah)" and just wing it. They don't care if what you just said makes any sense.
They are women and recognize you're just making small talk. In fact, if they call you out on it you can actually neg them by acting like it was totally obvious you're just making small talk.
Say what you see with a twist. Accuse her of stupid shit. Tease her like a little sister. Ask her questions like, tell me the craziest thing you did in the past 6 months, tell me something your parents don't know about you, tell me a guilty pleasure, etc
You want your food chewed for you too?
It's simple: say what you want to say even if you think its stupid and boring. Why? Because you are a man and that is plenty enough to enjoy consentual sex with a woman.
Most likely issue with not being able to start small talk: violation of "caring but not that much". Care too much and it's repulsive. Don't care at all and you're both indifferent.
Small-talk walkthru:
Relevant
For someone who has never chewed food before - yeah, it's necessary to show them how it's done.
If you would go to the gym and someone gave you 100kg on a bar and told you: just squat, it's easy.
What helped me was going on random dating apps. Make two accounts. 1) your normal self. 2) the guy you want to be- the guy who isn't scared to say shit or anything about a woman. Don't be scared to ask for pics, witty banter, etc. just go for it.
Number two you will get way more replies, pictures, and hookups than number one. Start to just be the "cool" guy.
Keep practicing on apps. I was seriously too scared to talk to a girl in public 4 years ago. Go from apps to talking in person. Now I'm seriously hooking up almost every night with different girls.
I can't tell you what exactly to say. Watch a lot of stand up comedy. Become witty. Practice playful jokes. Learn to read people's non-verbals.
Good luck.
Also, don't be afraid to be a dick. Put your foot down. The other guy made a good point. You're talking to her emotions- not her. Assert yourself.
This is Step 3 of not being a social retard. If you need someone to teach you how to have small talk as an adult, you're automatically weeded out of the dating pool
I think the issue is that you're asking for an art-form to be explained in steps. There are HEAPS of styles, and a small proportion will suit you comfortably.
Unfortunately I think this aspect is more based in skill than understanding, and hence is built through practice rather than learning.
If you look at their site, it is primarily full of condescending jackwads throwing aspersions at all sorts of other people.
It is what they do.....one dude in particular is constantly labeling people loser in every post but regardless of the article, he uses the exact same video\photos for every single one which leads me to believe that he got extremely lucky with a seriously damaged girl this one time and thinks that he is now some master jedi-level fuck master.
Condescending jerkwads is what they do...
Go out and practice until you can figure out. Stop reading material for answers because a girl will always confuse you
Here are some conversation facilitators:
If you are talking to her at a random spot like a Barnes and Noble/grocery store/bus stop, walk in with a plan to talk about something about that place. If at a grocery store, ask her where you can find object A or if you see it in her cart, ask her where she found it(as an ice breaker)? Once she responds talk about the smell/temperature/friendly butcher(even if non existent) at the store. Then carefully with a good transition move on to:
1) Ask her if she's from around the area/city you're in, once you get an answer if Yes, and so are you then talk about some of the fun things to do around that city. If No, ask her if she has done some of those fun things, not in depth but on surface enough to carry on a conversation to find a common ground.....use your sense of humor throughout the conversation.
2) Ask her if she watches TV shows, her favorite shows, find a common show, talk about that. If she loves "The Walking Dead" or some show like that she will light up and have an extended conversation about it. Again not to go too in depth but on a surface level, find a common ground, use your sense of humor.
3) Travel: Ask her if she likes to travel, ask her about her recent travel, find a common ground, use your sense of humor.
4) Food: Talk about cuisines, restaurants, cooking...find a common ground, use your sense of humor
5) Work/school/career path: Find a common ground, use your sense of humor
6) Sports, common ground, sense of humor
This ought to get you started, but remember to not go too in depth. Ask general open ended conversational questions like, So are you from around the area? Or I notice your cell phone has a wall picture of a beach, Its beautiful, is that Maui? She'll typically respond with oh no, I wish or yeah this was from Jamaica when we went last year. Boom, that's your cue in to talk about beaches, travel, places you've been, she's been, would like to go, etc. etc.
I agree with all of this but there's legitimately no way to make small talk without it coming off like you're an idiot or a complete moron.
If two people of the opposite gender ask each other an obvious question to start a conversation they're practically saying, "How long until we're shoving each other's genitals inside of one another for 3 hours."
When you walk up to a girl there's literally no excuse you can make to have a conversation because you don't know her, the only honest thing you can say is "I want to Fuck your face" & go from there. "......Uh I want to put my penis in the lowest hole of your head." -Louis C. K.
It's all really just a dance to pretend women aren't sluts. You had this random, zany conversation, there were sparks, and things just happened. No slutting involved.
Protecting her slutting is a demonstration of your knowledge of social norms.
You are an absolute legend sir. Tip of the hat.
I'm not offended by the post title, but I do feel the need to say that I'm autistic and don't really have a problem with woman or getting sex. (Though it took some effort to get here.)
I don't really like people using "autism" as parlance for "awkward loser."
I though about titling the post "autism except for Darmok" but figured you'd understand. Forgot you were autistic.
Man, you made me laugh for a minute straight
fantastic post ... well written, to the point and Bang on!
this needs to be repeated;
And Arch is spot on with his ways to 'fix/stop' this type of behavior, for as he says at the end and I couldn't agree more;
Exactly, it never failed to amuse and amaze me 'how different' women become when they're naked in your bed, and how much their behavior changes bot towards you and in general, after some really satisfying sex!
"friends and sex" don't mix when gaming girls
Like this Aspie guy says about hitting on women! lol "Going for the cunt"
I think this guy's pov is hilariously spot on! Pretty fucking funny too!
"Respect women enough to try and actually fuck them" my new motto
How do you know your doing what this post said correctly
That's like asking "How do you know if you're driving a car correctly" after reading the manual. You read the manual, then put it down and get in a car and drive. You'll know when you're doing it correctly.
So, read, then do. You'll know if you got it right.
Eye twinkles/wet panties/them chasing you
When you get your dick inside of her is a pretty good indication of success. Anything below that is most likely progress or a total failure you'll learn from.
I think this is one of the reason why Married Red Pill works most of the time. Honesty means telling your wife that you are horny and plan to fuck her later. If you do the dishes or any other covert contracting it is not sexually appealing but even more so it is actually disrespectful.
Yeah. The thing is. It's impossible to turn of your sex drive (and it shows in your microexpressions). So they know you're lying when you don't acknowledge to yourself and them that you want to fuck their brains out. It's all about accepting that you're a fucking monkey that wants to fuck women.
After reading this self-esteem boosting title I myself ( a person with autism) am left with one question.
So I should just fuck off, not procreate and die? I already know this isn't the case because I have the unwavering belief that I am worth just as much if not more than 99% of humans. I simply do not like to look you in the fucking eyes while talking and when I do I can't for the life of me figure out what your expression is actually saying(I get it right about 50% of the time now. yay me).
And since I (luckily) didn't have to depend on a shit theory like yours to teach me I succeeded.
is crap. Its about the body language. body language is affected by self esteem and self worth. A good upbringing helps with having the self esteem and confidence and in the short run so does looking fit and/or well dressed. However, what you need is to like yourself just for being you, even if you're badly burned. If looks mattered game would not work and in my experience, game works. Dont assume you know what women think is attractive, the remainder of your post proves you don't.
you are brushing over just about everything but yeah sure, escalate. saying flirty stuff doesn't fall in this area though, intent does. I can flirt with 2 girls who are at a venue together, the one I want knows I'm flirting with her for real. She also knows I'm smart enough to realise that the other doesn't want to be left out of the conversation and appreciates that. (old pua things call it social proofing I think.)
loser shit? Being socially awkward is just a state of being. Wouldn't acting all outgoing and forcing conversation be loser shit, since it undercuts that core belief that I am good enough and thus makes the whole game crash down. If I want to fuck without the girl knowing the real me I will get a professional and lie. Being socially awkward is something I have to work around, since silence creates tension. That tension needs to be released with a compliment or joke, or even a topic of conversation about something I like. Thats how you find out if there is common ground, if there isn't you just move on to the next. why the fuck would I want to talk with something who doesn't habe a single thing in common with me? (note how this all ties in to the belief that I am who I am and I am fine with that, even if other people think it's awkward).
Also, with talking sometimes less is more. Silence makes people want to speak. When people talk to fill silence they often reveal what they are thinking about your behaviour. This might be creating a hurdle for some people since it is more effective to talk a lot.(at least more than I do) However, for someone who can't read faces reliably it provides an alternative.
Your last part about pre sex convo being a test is hilarious. It isn't, it's to get to know you, maybe emotionally invest, but at least to asses if you are going to murder her in an alley or not. If you want those flakes to stop, start making your intentions clear and make her emotionally invested in wanting to see you again. This again can range from potential spouse to "guy at bar that had something"
Sex is a prerequisite to love. So asexual people can't love another human being?
sidenote: I hope you don't love your parents, because where I'm from that shit is illegal. Or your feeling emotion might be a little dependant on physical affirmation. (this is one of those self esteem things again. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH, even if no one ever hugged you when you were little.)
It is cute that you say being socially weak makes you a loser. From what I am reading, it seems like you're advocating getting your confidence externally from women validating you because of your appearance.
There is really no depth in a shallow man I guess.
Don't get me wrong going to the gym is fucking great but the boost in confidence you should be getting should be from the working hard for your own health.
Female friends often say that someone showing his muscles mostly tells them that the guy will have an inflated ego and shrunken balls.
"The last thing her subconscious wants is for her to go home with a hot guy, then find out that he’s weird and socially awkward and she might be pregnant with autistic loser genes."
So instead of becoming an actual person with depth and a develloped personality you advocate being a shallow moron who can talk about nothing actually worth talking about because you're afraid she will get emotionally invested and want to actually see you again. Instead you tell us to talk about....the weather or something? I'm really drawing a blank here. Anything she wants to talk about I guess, since we already know that the man in this situation is all brawn no brain. How does this show your social fitness?
isn't there this thing about not putting a girl on a pedestal? why the fuck are you presenting anything at all?
Maybe after showing how socially you are you can show her how fast you can run. Casually name drop the kind of car you drive while buying her and all her friends shots to show your financial fitness.
how about treating her as an equal you want to fuck? wouldn't that make way more sense? The problem most guys have is that they talk like they are talking to another guy.
It has to be clear that you have a dick and are interested in her vagina. You don't try to establish anything, you simply say things you think are worth saying, which they are because you think they are. Out of that a conversation emerges and during that conversation you get to see their personality and they get to see yours (assuming you actually fucking developped one while getting swole) During this conversation you make your intentions very fucking clear.
I might have trouble with understanding what other people mean when it differs from what they say. But at least I actually am an actual person and not some steroids&validation junky.
Most game aficionados will tell you you're lying. it is very much like a normal conversation between a man and a woman. Only instead of it being platonic flirting there is actual dick behind it. You are having a conversation with a potential mate not with a friend.
what the fuck are you even saying when you try to show how social you are without having a converaation.
Are you so social that no one ever says anything to you after you talk? If that is the case I have some very sad news for you.
If you're actually a good person like most people it isn't deceptive to be friendly and or make a connection you just also need to be clear about your inentions with her.
This might blow your mind but you can be friendly and want to fuck at the same time.
I know this is probably news to some of you but you can be friendly to women while at the same time being perfectly clear that you want to fuck them.
Disrespectful is thinking that you can't share interests before she has proven that she is a good lay.
If you're in this subreddit the female role models probably weren't very good ones. I should know, there was a reason I subbed in the first place. But I urge you to get over it. So what if your mother didn't give you enough hugs. Stop blaming an entire gender for your fucked up family relations. Get a personality and deal with it like the man you are pretending to be.
This became rather long. But its really hard to put in words how much of a fucking idiot OP is while also explaining why. The language and wording in OP's post is the same as with many of us who had a less than ideal youth. Lack of validation of the person himself and conditional love as opposed to the unconditional love a child absolutely NEEDS to develop a healthy self image. This shifts into blaming women for problems and a victim mindset.
It is profoundly telling that you see sex as a prerequisite for love but reject having a conversation before having sex. Saying that you first need to present your social/physical fitness to a woman which will prove you are worthy of attention. Conditional love from a maternal figure is hard to correct. Even while you think you're not putting women on a pedestal you still feel the need to get their (mommy substitutes) approval before you can feel confident
Great read.
I see it all the time in my town, men look like shit here, but pull amazing looking women
Man. Do you usually write book reports longer than the book?
I stopped reading when you said you were autistic, but maybe your comment will help somebody out.
You almost read a sentence today, I would call it a win and move on.
I urge you to read the last 2 paragraphs though, they apply to most if not all RP'ers.
(Hah, longer again.)
Trust me, you're not as clever as you think you are. Your post reeks of inexperience, Arch has aligned far better with experience
Probably, but that isn't relevant. Neither is Archs experience since he only said he didn't read past the second sentence but hoped someone found it usefull.
The last 2 paragraphs aren't game related but shed light on subconcious behaviour patterns that developped during childhood. Super interesting stuff (to me, anyways. )
edit: I only just realised that Arch is OP. Well in that case I have only one simple question. How does one flex those sexy social muscles without having a conversation?
/u/archwinger
You are not above social bullshit. Everyone has and will have to deal with it, including you. If you want to procreate, then yes, absolutely you should shrivel up and die if you can't attract a woman(women) to have your babies. You are the product of billions of men fighting to spread their genes.
TL;DR Work for it in our way, do it yours or don't at all, but don't send us a book on why our methods are wrong when you can't even pull women yourself.
Did you even read my post before your idealogical outrage? OP is the one claiming to be above social bullshit.
TL;DR The way OP describes doesn't work.
Ok Mrs. I'm better then 99% of people on the planet even though I can't tell how people feel half the time.
But, out of curiosity, did you come from a dysfunctional family with shitty female role models?
An intellectual connection with someone is a beautifull thing. This sub is about sexual strategy though. And sex isn't something intellectual. Sex is what these bags of blood and bones have been programmed to do. And it feels good. Sexual attraction plays on another level entirely as a connection in semantics. It's not better or worse. It's something that's hard for you because you have an active thinking mind. Chill. Read the side bar. Read book of pook especially.
I'm afraid you misunderstand what this sub is about. This sub is about an ideology, other subs(which i can't name because bots are much like most people, they don't understand context)are about strategy.
I have read the side bar. Read things I agreed with, saw things I didn't agree with and even more that made me pity the autor.
Lies are not a good thing to shove down the throat of anyone. Telling people with autism that they are inherently losers and backing it up with bullshit is wrong.
Ok yeah I can understand that. you need another believe system probably. So if you had to put it in 3 steps what would it be.
I am not preaching here just sharing my view and in my view it's not lying but I understand why it comes across to you like lying.
Because as you say, you can't really recognize bodylanguage right?. So for you that would come across as lying because all that stuff doesn't really have meaning to you.
For me it's more like a second nature, understand? If you stop paying attention to the meaning of the words. And start paying attention to showing your intent with your expression (having sex with her) and seeing her react to it (with her expression etc) that is the level of communication that OP is commending here.
The term "autistic" is thrown around loosely on this sub btw. Maybe you shouldn't take it so literally. Every man has in him a "loser" or "autist" as this post puts it. Where he sees the world in a logical analytic way. Which impedes social interaction (and thus courting)
But I'm curious how you would word three steps from your point of view.
giving three steps can never be enough to guide but here goes:
1.There is no reason you're not enough. This is a downright copy from rsd, so for further info you could google. 2. Open. 3. escalate.
Oversimplified ofcourse, each of these things have years of youtube material devoted to it.
then we get to the fundemental difference in our biology. Words never lose meaning. At least, not to me. This is because of the trouble i have with recognising facial expressions. If words lose meaning I have nothing so I do what I can with the tools I got.
lifting , eating well, and taking care of yourself makes you normal. attractive men are rare.
Sooo what if you are balding pretty badly at 21 years old? #1 pretty much impossible even though i am otherwise very attractive. It isn't like being fat, if i was fat I'd work my ass off to get in shape, but no matter how much money i spend, or how much time i spend on my hair, it still falls out.
This is such a confidence destroyer knowing that 99% of guys my age have perfect hair. I basically have to go for mediocre looking girls only.
Sorry for the rant but i had to vent. Any advice?
Replace 'have great hair ' with ' be very well groomed ' . If that means getting shaved bald than great , get a nice clean cut and keep yourself fit and looking sharp .
Shave your head is the best advice to give you. Women like bald men. Its a weird dominace thing I've heard. Think skinhead dangerous look. Grow a beard as well if you can you may have to wait 10 years for that. Also you don't fuck with a bald dude.
Despite not being bald I understand your pain.
My advice to you:
Low body fat (around 10-12%) is very important especially for bald men or else your head will look like a egg.
Maximize muscle. One side effect of steroids is hair loss since you're getting bald use it.
Dress well!
If you do that you'll look good. Better yet if you're at least average height. You've age so a lot progress can be made. Krauser PUA is bald below average height and banged hotties and he started gaming after his 30s.
Ah and even if you're insecure about being bald never discuss it with a girl you want to have sex!
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Probably depends on the kind of autism
I cringe everytime I read this shit
As someone with actual autism, this made me literally laugh out loud.
Women who do this pre-screening bullshit usually aren't worth my time anyway. I'm perfectly happy getting to know and hooking up with like-minded individuals
I thought someone with actual autism would appreciate the post. I mean, is it really that far off? Doesn't social interaction sometimes seem like a test to weed out the socially abnormal?
I feel that way with any kind of 1 on 1 conversation. It's all a ridiculous battle of words to determine who is "normal". I've had 30 years of practice and faking being social so I know how I'm supposed to act, but all of that practice has also taught me how to really manipulate people if I wanted to be a real asshole.
I'm not autistic but I'm starting to wonder whether I'm on the spectrum.
I feel the way you described about any conversation where there is no meaningful exchange of conversation. It seems so ridiculous, making noises just to show that you can.
Well I'm considered "high functioning". Social interactions are the biggest challenge for me though. Plus being ADHD and super light/sound sensitive.
Get tested, even if you just suspect. There's a lot of resources out there to help people on the spectrum.
I think you are probably smart so I'll say this. Look at the symptoms and try to find one that isn't compatible with childhood. Its not real.
Agreed. This post largely depends on the type of women you want to hook up with. I doubt op will meet his wife like this.
With the number one mantra besides hit the gym being "NEVER MARRY" Op is probably not working towards finding a wife in any way lol
lol wat? So you hook up with the rare autistic girls or you only fuck 6's and below?
Women just want an aggressive, testosterone filled male, not some blue pilled cuck who talks about feelings and has a needle dick
Respect women enough to actually try and fuck them.
Fuck. Yes. Good post OP
Which is why you don't drink. I turn into an awkward fuck with no kind of mental filter who says anything and everything on my mind after only a few drops
Intelligence? we all love it!
Social intelligence? meh, that sucks... that's not really intelligence, it's only trash-talk... who wants that.
Truth: You need social intelligence to understand that women do not consider themselves (or don't like to anyway) very smart and they like to be valued for pussy and beauty (but not get called out of it by perceived betas) so we must acknowledge both those facts when dealing with them. Knowledge, clarity and adaptability are all signs of intelligence. Social intelligence asks for all of them.
By simply presenting ourselves as "intelligent" we both bore her because she's not here to discuss shit (or if she is, you would anyway need to stir the conversation/focus away from it) and we stress her by holding her to a standard she likely doesn't meet or want to meet.
This is pretty much the formula of Mark Manson - http://postmasculine.com/improving-quickly.
Summary:
1 -Lifestyle — determines the quality of women you date.
2 - Overcoming Anxieties — determines the quantity of women you date.
3 - Calibration — determines the efficiency or your meet/dating ratio.
This is a great post, but the farther I get down the comments, the more autistic I get
I agree. Too many people got butthurt
To clarify, is a proper pre fuck conversation one that seems like friendly chat in the surface level, but displays your social prowess covertly?
If not, then what is the actual distinction when you essentially say that they're not the same?
Is there a guide on what to say to demonstrate the social fitness mentioned here?
I guess looking at it, it's all about being comfortable in practically any situation. My point is that as long as she feels secure, you have it in the bag.
Where do I start to become more socially fit? Anyone got any reading material/insight?
Start talking more for starters. Try putting more effort into listening rather than what to say
SO, HOW DO YOU TALK TO THEM?
You spend 100% of the time explaining the problem. What's the solution?
You forgot step one - Demonstrate Value
My god you guys are really serious about capitalism eh
Relatively number 3 isn't too hard. Attractive women are way more socially awkward compared to men. Just be able to stimulate ANY sort of conversation, and you're golden.
Point 3, while fairly accurate and on point, does not always apply and often is a difficult sticking point for a large groups of people, often because it is arbitrarily and inconsistently applied (because feelz before reals). There are also some people who for a variety of reasons cannot execute point 3, such as those with social anxiety or language barriers.
For example, men who are deaf will not pass this stage irrespective of what they say.
Great post, a lot of social awkwardness and weakness in men comes from excessive use of pornography and that turns them into brain-foggy, cowardly cucks. Stop wasting your seed fellas, It's the best move I've ever done in my life.
You didn't even give an example of a "pre-fuck conversation".
girls can feel sexual energy. if you're talking to her with a clear goal '' to fuck her'' you will be successful 99% of the time. when you're talking to her because you think she's unique and you think that you ''love'' her. you're SCRWED. because she feels that it's a compliment that you see her in a sexual way and she'll like you for it. and..you..will..fuck..her. there is no fucking love.
"Scan for autism and mental illness"
You could also put : drug induced state of mind
Nice, but I have never actually had a girlfriend, so this may be challenging.
tldr; you seem like an autist
Kudos! One of the best posts. I keep reading this daily to set my frame.
I agree with much of the OP except here. To my bias the pre-fuck conversation usually applies if the guy looks decent but not hot. His looks don't turn her on or off, so she allows conversation to see if his words can stimulate higher arousal that his looks couldn't.
But if you actually look hot (8 and above), then she is willing to skip conversation and go straight to sex. In these cases, she might pretend conversation to not appear shallow and fast, but all she's thinking about is getting you between her legs as soon as possible. Sometimes physical escalation isn't even needed because your body has already turned her on. All you need to do is close.
"Lust at first sight" exists for women too.
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Haha what a joke number one is! I thought you people were supposed to be in touch with so-called "reality"?
"awesome hair" so you basically just excluded all bald guys from this even though I see plenty of bald guys with gorgeous women. Hair has nothing to do with getting a woman, if a woman chooses not to interact with you because you might be bald or shave your head why would you even want to interact with someone so shallow? She's already giving you a red flag, see it for what it is.
Please don't listen to OP and start to randomly touch women you're chatting with. You go off of how the conversation is going, her vibe, her comfort level, etc. You don't just randomly touch a woman just because you're chatting with her, that's creepy as fuck. You know how you know you can touch her? When it's obvious she is feeling you.
I can agree that a lot of men AND women have no social skills. But it's simple to interact with a female. Don't brag about your job or money or cars unless you know she's a gold digger and all you want is to get laid or have her use you for money while you use her for sex. Ask personal questions, humans in general love talking about themselves. Within 5 mins of the convo the girl will know whether she will ever date/fuck you so if the vibe isn't improving and she isn't asking much about you or giving one word answers, chances are she's already written you off.
So this is the official Asperger's thread? Then let me put my thumb on the scale.
No it is an example. Use hair if you got it. If not, use what you got. You are definitely on the spectrum.
You not just on the spectrum but also a moron. Or perhaps you are female. Women do this all the time. Men do this all the time. Arch didn't say to grab her right in the pussy. Everybody knows women will only let you do this if you are rich and famous.
If you can control your sexual attraction it is EXACTLY like talking to a child (minus the touching of course).
Too many guys got triggered by the title
Lol you're teaching me? I'm 29, since I've turned 17 I've been fucking nothing but 8s and above. You forgot the most important law, be attractive. If you were attractive and had any kind of personality you wouldn't need to read and write dumb shit like this. Who makes fun of Asperger's syndrome anyway? Huge character tell right there, no wonder you're single and desperate for any information on how to get laid.
Read the rest of the thread. Several spergy guys have appeared and we are helping them- and yes I am a professor so I am educating you. When you have written a book on the topic along with an entire educational podcast series you can claim you know everything- but by then you will have realized that you don't.
This would not help anyone get laid. Quit being delusional and mad at the world. Girls are awesome, learn to love them for who they are, otherwise they won't love you back.
Quit attaching so much pain to your experience with women, and you will see that the world is a beautiful place full of love.
Let us know how those deep emotional connections and egalitarian respectful relationships work out.
It works out great, if you aren't a pussy.
Take action, enjoy life, and spread the love. Why wouldn't that work for you?
Enough with this bullshit. Yes, there are naturally sub 6 males, that's exactly why we have numbers between 1 and 5, genius.
Ironically, it's even easier -- all you need to do is stop being fat and shave the neckbeard. If you look good, congratulations, that's a good choice on genes you've made; otherwise, just forget about being preselected by your looks.
It's not that I disagree with the red pill, it's posts like this that made me run screaming. All this 'look hot, dress nice, LIFT, WOO-HAH' BULLSHIT. You're all inherently hypocritical DUMBASSES who fail to find any other validation in life other than having your DICK sucked.
Really? Is that all there is to it? When this bitch is sucking your dick, does that make you go 'wow, I'm such a success now, I've totally made it, this bitch is sucking my dick!'
Tell you what. I had my dick sucked by some nice bitches. Also, I don't lift. And while my dick was being sucked, I was thinking 'so, this is it? Am I living a desirable lifestyle, worthy of envy?'
No, I didn't.
Bunch of regressed low-iq'd jocks. Fuck this sub.
Did you just come from justneckbeardthings?
no but it makes me go "holy shit, getting my dick sucked feels amazing" - maybe chicks just arent for you?
fucking cuck.
Just for fun, check the guy's post history. I'll bet you five bucks it has video games and MGTOW-retardedness in it.
I like video games.
Maybe you meant anime bullshit, lol.
Hahah man, his desperate cry for attention told me all I needed to know about this turd.
Ahahaha.
Think about it (slowly; don't strain yourself). You are, in essence, doing nothing but chasing orgasms, obtained by tricking women into giving them to you. That is the bottom line and you know it. (actually, I'm not sure you do)
LIFT, MY FELLOW SYNAPSE-CHALLENGED BROTHERS. IT IS THE ONLY WAY TO ACHIEVE THE ONE AND TRUE MANHOOD. NOW LET US CELEBRATE OUR INTELLIGENCE/TESTOSTERONE IMBALANCE BY MEASURING OUR PENIS LENGTHS AND NET WORTH OF OUR STATUS SYMBOLS.
Are you in a wheelchair or something? What's your issue with working out?
The last girl I chatted with at the gym between sets has two PhDs and does cutting edge lab research. I have three degrees myself.
The notion that people who hit the gym and look awesome are automatically not smart and not accomplished is silly. Some people have it all. You only have some of it.
Being well educated is not the same as being intellectually inclined. And even though we both acknowledge the red pill truths on a basic level, the way we deal with it couldn't be more different.
Your pursuits are ultimately supremely futile. Someday, you'll hit your own wall, and the only pussy you'll get is by credit card. And then, you'll sit on your pile of expensive clothes and shiny woman-attracting trinkets, alongside a ton of frustration and regret.
I'm intrigued. What's your legacy?
I happen to enjoy my lifestyle. The fact that women enjoy it, too, is a pleasant side effect. I'm also married and have a kid, so I don't really hunt women nowadays. I just flirt for fun.
But what deep and meaningful shit ought I be doing?
And what are those degrees in question? Ehat's the race of the girl? I really have a hard time with people bullshitting online, even though I don't have a problem with your post or philosophy per say....
I limit my personal disclosure online, but none of my degrees were liberal arts or social science, and I make six figures. I'm not crazy rich, but we do good and are comfortable. The girl was German.
what does her race have to do with anything?
feel free to post pictures of yourself so we can all see how amazing you are
Here you go
The delusion is real with this one.
Lol. You think being honest with women will get you a reward? The modern woman of today behave the same way, tricking men by putting a fuckton of make up or getting a bra size bigger than usual to get the attention of beta orbiters and the cocks of alphas.
Yes, thank you for the reminder, I'm quite aware of what women are truly like. In fact, I'm so aware of it I completely gave up on them altogether, so much in fact it pretty much completely annihilated my desire for their company (or even sex drive). I'd say this is the best position for any man to be in, since it renders you totally immune to their manipulation. You'll have to endure shaming tactics ("you're just saying that because you can't get any"), sure, but once you've learned to stop giving even the slightest of fucks, you have the freedom to do whatever you want, at any given time. Which is splendid, because I won't live long enough to do all the stuff I want to do in life, and I sure as fuck do no want to spend any of it faking interest in some chick's problems, even if it would mean I get to have access to her tits.
I know you people tend to look down on us MGTOW types, that's fine, we look down on you too. If there is one thing I regret about this, it's that this squabbling prevents us from achieving any real progress. Regardless of what philosophy you choose, we ultimately have the same end goals.
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You failed understanding that prioritizing the pursuit of your primal urges at great cost to your limited time economy will leave you hollow and unsatisfied in the end, and that identifying and permanently disabling the root cause of these urges (the primary driver being an emotion called 'jealousy') will lead to genuine victory over your biological imperative, life, and society's expectations in general.
You probably want to check out Paul Elam's YouTube videos and drink more Mountain Dew. I think that's more your style.
Oh yeah, and make sure to play lots of video games. Those are fun.
Nah, I'd much rather laugh in your face and point out to you what a pathetic human being you are.
Oh shit! Yeah, I forgot. Post opinions on social media, too.
Oh man, your post is so beta, that I am sad for you. And its all so much oversimplificated, that it is almost unusable as an actuall advice.
1/ You have to be attractive for woman you decided to fuck. You dont need to be attractive for everyone. Although sometimes it is about that generic "some muscles, good clothing, awesome hair", you have to understand that 1000 woman=1000 various opinions about what is attractive on a man. If she does not like the way you dress and how you look, well, why to care and why to try, there is a plenty of others. What worked for me was allways me being me, because if you not act what you are, than you are always more real for her. Woman are very good in analysing the fact that you are trying to fake her about what you are, so dont give her chance. If you think that you need muscles, awesome hair, good clothes, than you are just a beta cuck, because you internalized that woman agenda so much...
2/ Dont touch her before she does. It is socialy awkward and a bit weird, but more damaging for you is the fact that you also are giving away too much info about how interested in her you are. Hold your horses, you can touch her later on more attractive spots.
3/ Again some plain generalization and simplification. So many times is I was socialy awkward on purpose. Its a game and that means that you are not tryharding it. You are having fun, thus you are real, not faking her, not faking yourselves. Again, she probably will realize very soon that you try to convince her that you are somebody else. And your game is fucked at that point.
I am the one to choose whom in want to fuck. So i am setting the rules. All that "be hot, have amazing hair, dont be socially awkward"...thats so beta... Dont you see that? Those rules are not yours. Those rules are set by her. So screw them. I will not act how she wants me to...
Also what is funny at TRP is how the fact that she consented to fuck with you is taken as "the win". But the real win comes later: let her fall in love with you. Let her crave for you, let her dream of you as a whole life partner, let her dream that later you will ask her "Marry me".
Now that makes you are the real alpha... Because woman use the sex on purpose, but they are really lost when they fall in love.
You can "do you" and masturbate with self satisfaction over how "true to yourself" you're being. The rest of the world likes to fuck.
Lol, you are just stupid, absolutely unable to understand what i say. By what you say you look like very insecure and immature person. All that "the rest of world likes to fuck" is only a bullshit in your head and i dont know many people who in reality think like that. It is obvious "big mouth", but in reality you are just a scared boy :D Yeah, sex is great, but you can not have great sex if you are so much afraid of woman as you do. Grow up, man, get some self esteem. Because your wording and opinions just say: I am little boy, scared of woman and scared of emotions, so i have to pretend that all the world around me is only about fucking and about woman being "the pray". Its pathetic. Its so poor. Its so weak... And takin all that in account i assume that you are only tryharding aome TRP like words, but in reality your bed is dead, your wife is cheating on you and you decided to get on that "big mouth" route to not sit a cry like child :D Really, you are still a boy...