Tips for a First (or any) Date that will get You Laid [Long Post]

For any guys who are regularly getting it in on the first date, this post is not for you. If you're having a hard time getting it in on the first date, or getting call backs for a second - this post is for you. This will be especially relevant for girls whom you've met recently or girls you meet in the near future. A lot of guys are misled into what a, "good" first date actually is, or how to go about arranging it. I'm here to share my game plan (which works great for me) which I have refined through advice on this sub and trial and error.

Before I even get too deep I want to put out a very important concept: You can buy her time, but not her affection. Some guys try to persuade girls into hanging out with them by offering them expensive/fancy dinners, concert tickets, etc... This is a bad direction to take. If she wants to go on a date with you she will make a noticeable effort to do so. You might be able to bribe her to come along with you, but honestly if you need to persuade her so hard to go on a date with you she's not interested. She's going to take your free shit and not even feel bad about it. With that being said I strongly recommend against expensive venues - or anything that might be perceived as trying to buy her time or your way into her pants. Regarding the bill, I almost always split the bill. This has never hurt me personally. I do occasionally buy the first drink, or pay for all of the meal. This doesn't hurt me either.

Step 1: Setting Up the Date. An important point to remember is: You guys are on the same team and want the same thing - to meet up and have fun. You're working together - not against each other. I'm going to assume you have someone in mind (if you don't check out my post on how to open and close). Like I mentioned earlier it's great if you haven't been talking much with her if you're arranging your first date. Anyways send something like this via text, or ask her in person (you'll usually get bonus points for asking in person as it takes more confidence, but it's not necessary or even practical all of the time), "Hi (her name), what's your schedule look like this week?" This works for me, if you're doing your own thing and it works for you then do that instead. Girls who want to meet me will tell me when they're free - or make some noticeable effort to try and arrange a date. Girls who don't want to meet me will tell me they're busy - twice or more. Once she tells you when she's free just tell her where and when to meet you. Don't ask her what she wants to do - this is your responsibility to make the plans. Besides you should have already screened her for interests when you opened her and have some general idea of something she won't hate. Her only responsibility is to show up. You don't need to tell her what you guys are doing, or what you have planned. It's actually more fun for her if she doesn't know, because it makes it more of a mystery and a surprise. Don't ruin the surprise for her by telling her what you're doing so early on. Just text (or tell) her something like, "Cool, how about (x place) at (x time)?" Once you arrange the date cut contact . Don't be texting her smily faces and shit or sending her good morning texts. It's like talking to the police. You're just giving her shit to use against you. You have nothing to gain by texting her after you have already arranged the date. Most girls have the decency to let you know if they're going to flake. Don't take it personally if she does.

Step 2: The venue. This is a very important aspect of the date that too many guys fuck up. A lot of guys go to dinner, a movie, or some other boring shit for their first date. Let's be real - there is hardly anything less imaginative and more boring than interrogating each other over dinner. Watching a movie (in a theater not your place) is also bad because you can't build any report by talking, all of her attention is focused on the movie and not you. Those are probably the worst places to take a first date.

You want to choose something that you DO not WATCH. Think ACTIVE. This should also be something that you enjoy, and even better if you're good at it - the date is for you, not for her. Get creative with it. Some dates I personally enjoy: Lazertag, Rock Climbing, Karaoke, Drinks, etc... Bonus: Quite often I will suggest we cook dinner at my place, this is great and solves a lot of problems regarding logistics. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to take every girl on something spectacular, but if you're not very charismatic or attractive you're not helping yourself buy sitting across from her questioning her at a dinner table. If you're not enjoying yourself, she's going to notice and judge you as not fun. More than likely, if you're having fun she will too. As a last note, pretty much every beta orbiter is trying to take her out on a traditional "fancy" dinner. Remember what I said about buying her time - one of the easiest ways to get put into the beta bucks category.

• It's important that you have more than one place planned. I recommend two or three, but I have done as many as four in a date. Changing venues will make it seem like you guys have known each other for longer than you really have, and help her become more comfortable with you. It also makes the date more interesting and memorable.

• You want to have everything planned in a way so that it's hassle free to get back to your place (or someplace you can fuck). Things should (ideally) be within walking distance from each other. You don't want to spend too much time in a car, or on public transportation. These are not very conducive places to escalate (if you're driving). You can fuck in a car or in public but I don't recommend it if you can avoid it - you can rack up some pretty serious charges for fucking in public.

Step 3: Enjoy yourself. Too many dudes center the date around the girl. They worry too much and make too big of a deal about it. You shouldn't noticeably or consciously be trying to impress her, win her approval, or anything of the sort. Honestly she isn't that important and neither are you. Just have fun bro. You should be doing something that you enjoy, so this part shouldn't be that hard right? Just enjoy the moment. A huge point here is: Don't be needy. Don't worry whether or not she's enjoying her self. Don't ask her what she wants to do next, or if she's having fun. Don't make the date about her. Take her off the pedestal and realize you're the prize. Up until now, you've done everything. All she had to do was show up.

Step 4: Escalate. If this girl agreed to see you and do XYZ with you (and you didn't buy her time) She's obviously into you to some degree. She wants you to be the man and take the lead. Escalating is something that deserves a post all on it's own, but here is my take on it: Escalating is about openly showing your sexual and romantic interest in her, without shame, neediness, or embarrassment (although it's okay to be a little nervous). Touching, flirting, eye contact, kissing - these are all ways in which you can convey your sexual interest. How you do it is up to you, but you MUST ESCALATE. Really just do anything that get's your dick hard. It's as easy at that. If you don't show her that you're sexually interested. She's going to place you into her list of, "dudes that don't deserve my pussy". She's also going to be disappointed that you didn't have the balls to show your interest. Fucking on the first night may not be on the list for everyone (but if you are check out my post history, "How to fuck on the first date - A Guide") You need to show her that you're sexually interested on the first date - this is absolute. How far you choose to go is up to you. I think going for the kiss on the first date is the bare minimum, but I don't stop there if I can help it.

Part of escalating is taking her back to your place and fucking her. You don't need to be clever about this, just make up an excuse: "Hey you should come try my tap water"/"You should listen to me play guitar". Just be plausibly deniable - give her hamster something to work with. If you took my advice on the venue it'll be easy to get back to your place from wherever you are. If you guys have been making out, then it's an easy transition. I don't invite girls back to my place unless we've kissed already during the date. This really isn't that big of a deal. You offer, and she replies with yes or no. If she's giving you a Maybe, you can try to lightly persuade her.

Her: Weellllll I'm not suuuuuuuuree. You: Oh my tap waters great, you have to try it Her: Haha Okay!

I invite girls back to my place towards the end of the date, even if i'm not sure she's 100% into me. If she doesn't want to come over it's not a big deal. I'll just try again on the next date.

Important Concepts:

• Pacing. Every girl has her own pace which she is comfortable with moving at. Just think of it as how soon she is willing to fuck you. The higher your SMV and better your game the more you can cut this time down. Some girls are cool fucking me within a couple of hours, some after a couple dates. It just depends how you play your cards and what kind of mood she's in. Don't get disappointed if she turns down your kiss, or advances. Just take a step back and try again later. One of my current plates didn't want to kiss me at all on our first and second dates, but we fucked on the third. Being able to gauge how into she is along with how turned on you're getting her is a skill that comes with time and experience. If you're interested on reading more about this check out my post on how to read body language. To sum up this otherwise out of place point, take things as far as you can. If you have a hard time reading ques check out my guide to non verbal communication in my post history.

• Keep her focused on the present. You don't want her thinking about her job, her ex, her family, or xyz. You want to keep her attention on you and the date that you're on. Comment about your immediate surroundings, get her caught up in the moment. Bring her focus to you. This is again something that takes experience to develop. The more you can get her focused on the present moment, the more you can bring her into your frame.

• Isolate: I don't recommend double dates for beginners. I think these take a little more game to pull off well. Don't agree to have her friend come along with. Just you and her. See my point above about keeping her focused on the present. If she's thinking about her friends, she's going to worry about being judged if she fucks/kisses/whatevers you. Make it you two against the world.

• Seating arrangements: This is actually more significant than it might appear to be. A lot of guys sit across (Guy > < Girl) from each other when sitting down to eat or whatever. This is not intimate and puts distance between you and her. It makes it very difficult to touch her, whisper in her ear, kiss her, etc... Sitting like this is not intuitive to escalating. It is much more intimate to sit right next to her, parallel if you're having a hard time imagining this: (Guy ^ ^ Girl) where you can put your hands all over her, like I know you want to. Also makes going for the kiss easy. There isn't anything wrong with sitting perpendicular to her (Guy > ^ Girl) if it's not possible to sit parallel to each other. I will often violate social norms just to sit next to her. I don't really care if the norm in the restaurant or cafe is to sit across from each other, and I'm the only person sitting next to my date in this way (many restaurants are set up this way where I am for only two people). I will always sit parallel next to her if I can help it, and I've never gotten a complaint about it.

• Don't Be Needy: I talked about this briefly. If you're dependent on her to have a good time/enjoy yourself. The date will never flower - and neither will you. You should be outcome independent. You don't need her approval or attention. Being needy is an extremely quick way to kill any sort of attraction.

• It's not your job to entertain her: A lot of times in the past I felt like I was obligated to make sure she was having a good time. This didn't necessarily hurt me in regards to getting laid, but it placed an unreasonable burden on myself. Now I only make sure I'm having a good time, and she always plays along. This goes with the above point.

• Conversation and "getting to know her": Some of the most bullshit, ridiculous excuses I've heard is that, "I want to get to know her before XYZ." If you're saying something like this, you're probably making excuses. If you want to get to know her, take her on a date. You don't need to be sitting across from each other at a dinner table questioning each other to get to know each other. In fact if you really want to "get to know her" this is probably the worst way you can do it. You're going to see the most rehearsed, calculated, and dishonest representation of a girl (person) in that sort of atmosphere. You're going to have plenty of time to talk, even if you're doing something super active. You don't have to be talking 100% of the time. In fact it's better if you say less than you usually do (if only by a little bit). Try to get her to talk, girls love to talk about themselves. Ask her questions about her hobbies, family, hopes, dreams, etc... Try to keep it light hearted, it's okay to touch on dark subjects, but you don't want to get too deep into it and start consoling her. If you're a sperg, keep it light for now until you improve your social skills.

• Give her a Ride on The Emotional Rollercoaster: You want to evoke different emotions within her. You can do this in a number of ways. Excitement, suspense, surprise, laughter, Happiness, Horny-ness . If you look back at each step I'm sure you can find some way on how it connects to the theme of the Emotional Rollercoaster: Don't text her after you made plans (suspense), Just tell her where and when to be, you make the plans (Excitement, surprise). Enjoy yourself (Happiness, pleasure). Escalate (Sexuality, getting her turned on). If you're a top notch Chad you can even work in some stories that cultivate certain emotions (sadness). I'll leave this up to you, but throw some lows to contrast with the highs if you're a good story teller. If not, you can get away without it.

• You are the prize: If you've followed this guide, then you've realized you've gone through a considerable amount of effort and all she did was show up. Don't put her on a pedestal. If you have this problem read my post, "What I learned from fucking my ONEitis" - it might help out a little bit.

• Push-Pull: There are some great posts already on this, which I can't explain better then they already have. Search for them. Just think two steps forward, one step back as a general guideline.

• Calibrate after the fact: Not every date/joke/advance is going to be a hit. You want to calibrate afterwards. Not during.

I hope this helps for a lot of guys who are clueless on how to have a good first date that leads to sex. Have fun and good luck!

Edit: Spelling, Grammer and Sentence structure. If you have any suggestions let me know and I will consider adding them in.

Edit 2: Thanks for the gold!