Not Having Women in Your Life May Make You Unhappy, but a Woman Will Never Bring You True Happiness.

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January 9, 2017

Although what likely initially prompted you to come to a place such as this one--what with its reputation and all--was the fact that you were deeply unhappy with your romantic life, I want to caution you about treating your emotional wounds with the therapy of pussy. It's very, very easy to allow your new-found ability to attract and retain women to become a crutch upon which your happiness leans. This is easier than you might think; after all, the reason that you came here was because you were unhappy with your relationship with women, and now that you know how to fix that you'll be happy, right? No

One thing you will learn here is how little value and weight a woman's attention holds. Despite what the media and the rest of the Blue Pill will tell you, there is absolutely nothing special about a woman's love or affection. It's not some grand prize at the end of your road, nor a treasure awarded to you when you complete your quest. In fact, a woman's attention is such a fatuous thing that even socially retarded PUAs were able to figure out how to manipulate it to their own ends. If a gaggle of feather-boa-wearing stains like that can bend it to their own ends, how valuable can it really be?

The biggest flaws surrounding a woman's attention are, conversely, the aspects that keep men chasing it: it can burn red hot, and it is fleeting. When a woman is truly "in love", she will do things that would amaze you. I've witnessed girls debase themselves for me, and risk everything they had simply because they thought they loved me. However, because of hypergamy, and just the plain wear of time, a woman's attention is a fragile thing. You just never know what will set her emotional ride in the opposite direction. We try to provide contigencies--be alpha, DGAF, keep a constant level of dread--but the truth is these are plugs in a cracking dam wall. Eventually, the wall will break and she'll swing on to the next branch. You're not the first she's loved, and you won't be the last.

Given all that, the error in basing any form of emotional state in how a woman feels about you becomes starkly clear. It's just too damn unreliable to allow your happiness to be dictated by the terms of her presence in your life.

This is especially difficult for men who are just now starting to have success with women in their lives. It's a slippery slope, too. That gladness you get after your first lay can quickly spiral into a desperation for the high of sleeping with more and more girls. For most, this disappears( One common trait amongst players is their lack of attachment to anyone girl;the lays start to blur, as do the girls.) However, I've witnessed something incredibly common amongst guys who didn't have success with women until later on: there is a tendency to lapse back into the old BP ways. It's not hard to see how this might happen--If a man puts an incredible amount of effort into the accomplishment of a goal, it is only natural that he be attached to the outcome. Even with our stoicism and detachment form the outcome, there is still a certain amount of investment in the things we do, and what we hold dear. This applies doubly so to men who are still new in their RP journey.

So what do you do to free yourself from the trap of making women your center? Simple: find a center that's actually worth a damn. Dedicate yourself to your mission and your life's purpose. Center yourself around things that will actually last and give you fulfillment. Because if there is one thing I can guarantee you, it's that pussy and blowjobs are the emptiest fulfillment ever.

It is your imperative to find a mission that represents who you are as a man. Something that you can look back on and know was worth all the effort and sacrifice. Because that thing is not women. That thing is you. Your self-improvement and dedication to being a step higher everyday on the stairway to heaven.(The staircase doesn't end, by the way, which often prompts many to believe that there's no point in even beginning the climb. But there is. Better to know there is nothing at the top after having climbed as far as you can.)

So if you find that you're unhappy because there is a vacuum of women in your life--and many do--ask yourself if that empty space will ever be filled with wet holes. Or maybe, that emptiness is a calling to find something more substantial in your life.

Post Information
Title Not Having Women in Your Life May Make You Unhappy, but a Woman Will Never Bring You True Happiness.
Author Meat-on-the-table
Upvotes 831
Comments 196
Date 09 January 2017 06:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Original Link
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alphabranch swingingdread gamehypergamythe wallthe red pillthe blue pillPUA

[–]lietruth354 points355 points  (34 children) | Copy

Reminds me of one of my favourite quotes on TRP.

"Women are not the goal in life ... they are simply the by-product of a life well lived." - u/CopperFox3c

[–]Andromeda-134 points35 points  (4 children) | Copy

Damn that's a good one. I've gotta write that one down.

[–]circedgirlsarecleanr9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

True. But I find that a life well lived by RP standards will often not leave you much time for the women. Lift, Eat, work, sleep.

[–]LidlKwark17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't see how that doesn't leave time for women. You can eat and sleep with them, that's for sure. I can imagine things getting tricky once you get kids. Lift and sleep will probably suffer from that.

[–]The_Grey_Wolf points points [recovered] | Copy

Well, let me just say this - I've been reading "The Rational Male" and I have to kind of disagree with the quote.

I just turned 20 and am doing the stuff I want to do - owning college, working on my math and programming skills, really being the best I can be - yet sometimes, when I'm alone at my apartment and I've done everything for the day (physical exercise, daily math & programming routine, ...), I'd like to have a girl by my side. That's why I joined TRP, so I can get more successful with women.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're at the wrong place, dude. Go through the sidebar links, all of them!

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c13 points14 points  (10 children) | Copy

No one is saying not to pursue women. I pursue women all the time, and usually have multiple ladies in my life at any given moment.

But the ironic thing is that it is all the things I do that have nothing to do with getting women that make me valuable to women in the sexual marketplace and raise my SMV. Making women the primary focus is like putting the cart before the horse.

[–]PranksterLad1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If i may, what do you do in your life that has nothing to do with getting women. I am just graduating now from my masters and I am so confused on which way to focus on my life.

[–]Newreddawn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Focus on what makes you happy. Activities that create or augment your social circle, make money, or are just plain fun. Sports, social events, hobbies, etc. Use your career as the foundation, and start branching out

[–]slay_it_forward-2 points-1 points  (7 children) | Copy

That's exactly what they're saying. They're saying pursue your mission instead of women and then they show up through osmosis. LOL.

[–]GentlemenMindset4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Because sometimes they do. The higher the SMV, the more you notice women notice you. If you've been meditating as part of your "on your mission" routine, you will pick it up rather quickly.

After that, it literally is just easy pickings with women. They will go out of their way to approach you and start some sort of conversation wether direct or indirect.

Girls will be coming out of no where and compliment you on the the fresh haircut you just got. They'll can be so blunt as to wink at you after you've maintained strong eye contact.

Happens more often than you think. Without so much as a sliver of effort.

[–]slay_it_forward-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

And how do these strange women know about your mysterious SMV boosting mission?

[–]GentlemenMindset3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Because when you truly DGAF, people know. If you wanna keep bashing then go ahead. Clearly you're in the "this guy doesn't get it category" and both men and women will smell it miles away. Good luck bro.

[–]slay_it_forward-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lol everyone knows about the mission because dgaf. Sick advice bro. Who cares about looks, charisma, game or social proof when you Dont Give A Fuck. Just lol tbh

[–]GentlemenMindset6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's cause you take everything at face value. Your mission doesn't have to be one thing. You can make your mission to better yourself. That includes lifting, eating better, approaching. Your mission doesn't have to be "get a high paying job." But social conditioning and constructs have forced you to think in a tunnel-vision way.

The point of this isn't to fucking hand hold you every step of the way. Why don't you man up and be more discerning? Think deeper about what others are trying to say as it's not as simple as you think. You're asking questions for the what and how. Start thinking about the why.

[–]slay_it_forward-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

One minute you say don't pursue women, follow "the mission". The next youre saying the mission is approaching.

Fuck youre an idiot.

[–]slay_it_forward-3 points-2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Guys at trp are idiots tbh. They all tout this same bullshit about being "on your mission" and girls show up. Just lol.

Just like with your programming skills you're going to need a sustained effort to get good with girls. Look up Tom Torero as an example. Similar background to yours. I've seen him daygaming in Ukraine. He has talent.

[–]GentlemenMindset2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

You're misinterpreting man. What they mean is, go on your own mission and focus on that. Their attraction to you will come after. Obviously you still have to put some effort in, but the amount is simply much less than it would have been if you sit around all day with your dick in your hand.

[–]slay_it_forward7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Not misinterpreting anything. You're just repeating what they're saying. Of course they're inplying attraction comes from BEING ON YOUR MISSION and this is exactly what I'm saying is bullshit.

Lets assume this guy's mission is programming. Lets assume becomes a great programmer and had a good career. Will the women show uo then? No, unless they're looking for a beta bux meal ticket.

Regardless of his mission he needs to improve his look, his charisma and acquire the skill of approaching women.

Most western women have their own career, they don't give a shit about your cubicle job. They want a stud that's going to fuck them good.

[–]GentlemenMindset3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

That's why we have healthy debate and this is still theory.

What solidified it for me is this example:

My first year in grad school, I couldn't give a fuck about chasing girls. There was one kid who thought he was the shit and he was gonna get top grades in all our classes. My missions was to study and pay attention enough so that I can get better grades and humble him.

In the first semester (a 3 month span) 3 girls in my section were actively telling a couple of my friends how they actively wanted to fuck me. One was willing to blow me just to risk ruining her relationship with her boyfriend of 5 years so that she could "not feel guilty about leaving him for nothing."

Once they get wind that you pedestal something that's not them, it's fish in a barrel.

[–]slay_it_forward-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Have a hard time believing you were wetting panties with your dedication to calculus.

[–]SovereignSoul760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're a sour little puss-puss, aren't ya? You seemed pretty confused and frustrated.

[–]Newreddawn1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Keep dancing for the audience, little monkey. Seeing is believing. We actually live this life, whereas you watch someone else on youtube. You can lead a horse to water...

Also, nobody is telling you that game or looks or fitness etc don't matter. That's your own strawman. No shit it matters. It's just not hard, I don't even think about it anymore.

[–]slay_it_forward0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're such a pussy magnet

[–]DerpishGambino84 points85 points  (10 children) | Copy

Well, holy shit. This is exactly what I needed to read.

Realizing I've had some bit of oneitis for a girl I hungout with last week, which didn't go exactly as I planned, and feeling her attractation for me fade has made me a bit low..

I definitely do feel that emptiness though, but lifting this morning at 5am (as opposed to 9pm) has made me feel more happy, energized and optimistic than any girl has, especially knowing that I get to look forward to that each and every day I wake up.

So you and everyone else preaching about following your mission, or dedicating yourself to whatever you enjoy, is perfect advice because no other person in your life is gonna be able to make you as happy as you can. No one.

Hard pill to swallow at times, but I'm happy as fuck that it's red.

[–]landon04232 points33 points  (8 children) | Copy

of course, like arnold said the pump is the best feeling in the world, feels better than cumming.

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

he's cumming day and night

[–]circedgirlsarecleanr2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

feels better than cumming

They've both got their own place. Can't cum in the Gym and vice versa.

[–]SilentMeatball13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Vice versa: Can't gym in the cum.


[–]slay_it_forward0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can't workout while fapping? Disagree tbh.

[–]slay_it_forward0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can't lift weights at the massage parlor?

[–]Suave_Terry0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

[–]slay_it_forward3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oneitis is a function of scarcity. You think Gengis Khan ever had oneitis?

[–]Veritas_potissimum38 points39 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women can't bring you true happiness because they themselves are a sea of emotions. It's like letting your boat drift without tying your anchor. Sure you may be fine initially, but with enough time you'll drift to the middle of fucking nowhere.

[–]theredpill22116 points117 points  (53 children) | Copy

For the most part, I'm happy without women in my life.

I have two or three close friends that I enjoy spending time with. I'm studying a difficult major and doing quite well with it. I'm set up for a successful career financially.

There are moments of weakness, however. And they hit me hard. I get this deep deep feeling of loneliness, a loneliness that feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I start to believe that nobody likes me, that I'm repulsive, that I'm not worthy of being loved. And this hurts so fucking bad.

I'm a very shy person and when it comes down to it, when I take all of this redpill stoic alpha male bullshit away, I feel like I'm just too soft and too sensitive to socialise with others. I get hurt too easily, I can't handle people being nasty. I just wish everyone would be nicer to each other.

For the most part, focusing on eating, studying, sleeping and working out keeps me pretty ok happiness wise. But there's a very deep feeling of loneliness and inadequacy that's plagued me all of my life.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table[S] 36 points37 points  (10 children) | Copy

There are moments of weakness, however. And they hit me hard. I get this deep deep feeling of loneliness, a loneliness that feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I start to believe that nobody likes me, that I'm repulsive, that I'm not worthy of being loved. And this hurts so fucking bad. I'm a very shy person and when it comes down to it, when I take all of this redpill stoic alpha male bullshit away, I feel like I'm just too soft and too sensitive to socialise with others. I get hurt too easily, I can't handle people being nasty. I just wish everyone would be nicer to each other.

It actually takes strength to admit this to yourself. I do think you need to examine the root cause of your inadequacy and find where it stems from. I have a friend I helped through something rather similar. We examined it and found that the reason for his feeling of inadequacy was that he lost both parents at a young age. This instilled a deep, layered loneliness within him. It's something we're working through bit by bit, but he's in a better spot right now because we went to the root of all his feelings.

[–]lJunKunl points points [recovered] | Copy

Once you've discovered the root what's the solution? Whether that was death of parents, abuse, neglect, bullying, etc. you can never really "take away" that root. Are you just damaged forever?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

A lot of it depends on your perspective about your situation. My mother was borderline and abusive. It wasn't ideal, a mother's love would have been nice, but I saw the true nature of women very early and learned to be self-reliant at a very young age. I'm cautious with women and most of my relationships don't make it past the six-month mark, if they're relationships at all. Most would call this damaged, but I consider it a valuable life lesson.

[–]lJunKunl points points [recovered] | Copy

Both of my parents were the same as your mother, and I have such vehement and powerful resentment towards them, just absolute rage. Like my dream would be to give it all back, when I hit two plates on bench to fight my overly-macho father or get a loud enough voice where I can make them feel like children in front of me. Just the fact that they caused so many issues and set me back so far behind, the fact that I became cynical and happiness was sucked away from me as a child, the fact that you had to deal with being basically autistic because you didn't understand social interaction, and becoming submissive, quiet, in general blue as fuck because you don't know what would trigger your parents. Fuck man.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry, bro. I feel your pain. I got lucky, my Dad is a good man and helped me get away from her. But my stepmom, bless her soul, taught me to fight back and I did. I'm sorry you didn't get the same chance, my friend, I really am. That said, these are the experiences that turn boys into men. I know what you mean about the social interaction and "autistic" issues. I felt that way for a while; then I owned it. I have a systems brain; I solve problems, I get shit done in a way that no one else thinks of. So I may not be as empathetic towards people, namely women. Last time I checked, every woman I've dated has shown me no empathy, so, that shit is overrated to be honest.

Also, I believe you're still young, 20's I think. I'm in my early 30's. Men's brains become more social as they age. You'll get there.

[–]blob62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, it doesn't mean your damaged forever. Knowing your own weaknesses is a huge advantage in getting control over your life.

After that, a man who continues to blame others or circumstances for his misfortune is not much of a man to begin with

[–]theredpill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Counseling and (arguably, I'm against it) medication combined with a healthy lifestyle with plenty of sleep and exercise.

You can manage it, sure, but I think there's a ceiling to how happy you can be when you grew up in an abusive environment.

[–]ForgedInProdigy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There's a book called King Warrior Magician Lover that can help you answer that question.

[–]theredpill220 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My dad is borderline and was very abusive, my mother is bipolar.

[–]slay_it_forward-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe it stems from actually being inadequate genetically. We're all dealt a certain hand and it can be tough to accept the 7 2 off suit.

[–]grewapair20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm 55 years old. I lifted and tried everything. Nothing really worked. The girls who had me just used me. They never made my life better or easier.

If I had to do it again, I would never have spent all that time chasing girls who never had any intention of repaying the effort.

If you get yourself into the best shape possible and still feel this way, find something else to do with your time. I wish I had.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't mean to kiss your ass but I'm reading your posts and you seem to have some wisdom.

So I want to ask, what would you do if you could do it over not chasing girls?

[–]phantomlordd44 points45 points  (4 children) | Copy

Like OP said, women alone will never bring you true happiness, but not having any women in your life for a long period of time can make you miserable, even when other things are going well. We are animals and biologically need to have sex and some sort of validation of the opposite sex after all.

[–]theredpill226 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

So do I give in?

Fire up a tinder account, start being a pushy douchebag to maximise the amount of pussy I can get, manipulate women into getting whatever I want? I have all the tools to do this, but I don't think it's going to make me happy. It feels like selling my soul to the devil.

[–]Jumala points points [recovered] | Copy

...start being a pushy douchebag to maximise the amount of pussy I can get, manipulate women into getting whatever I want?

No. You don't have to be a douche or manipulate women. A woman's affection is something special, but it can't be placed above everything else; you have to have goals and values and limits and stand by them. All the other shit advice here is just an artificial representation of that.

You need to focus on self improvement and part of that is being comfortable in social situations.

Stand up for yourself and realize that no one can hurt you by being nasty if you know who are and are comfortable with yourself and your flaws. Some people are just not worth your time - a lot of people are dealing with their own issues and lash out at people who they think will let them get away with it to make themselves feel stronger or more in control.

Realize that all women, even the ones you find incredibly attractive, are just people and treat them the way you would like to be treated without putting them on a pedestal or worrying too much about whether they like you or not. Just talk to them without havíng any expectations and don't beat yourself up too much if you say something stupid or they end up not liking you. Practice.

A lot of the confidence you need to meet women comes from having friends and a social circle to keep you grounded - it starts with accepting yourself, but your inner life will improve by having social contact with others - men, women, old and young. Just talk to people without havíng any expectations.

Just focus on your goals in life and improve on your successes. The rest will follow.

[–]SqueakerChops5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Very good advice. I think I'd add that it's a good idea to try to stop seeing every woman as a potential lay. They're people too guys c:

Here's the red pill I'd like to see swallowed on this sub: yes, it is entirely possibly to manipulate women into doing anything you want, and remain univested in them. Its also possible to do this to men. sexually, non-sexually. Humans are suprizingly easy to manipulate. That doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. It won't leave you fufilled in the end, not truly. It is much more fufilling to lead an honest caring life.

[–]BreathOfDick7 points8 points  (19 children) | Copy

Maybe take a look at this? I'm reading it right now and it's really focused on remaining unaffected by other people as well as eliminating all approval seeking (i.e., fucks given about whether or not people think highly of you).

[–]theredpill2218 points19 points  (18 children) | Copy

I already have a very stoic mentality and these moments of weakness are becoming less and less frequent as I get older. I'm 20 so I have a lot of learning to do about life. From what I've seen here, focusing on lifting and my career are the best things I can do right now, even if I'm not particularly happy. The few women I have met in college have been pretty horrible people for the most part, even if attractive. I've had my chances with them but I can't fake liking them just to have sex with them. It's just not in me. I dislike the hookup culture in our society immensely. Personally I don't smoke weed or drink so this puts me on the outside immediately.

I think I'm definitely an over-analyser and this can make you very cynical towards others. The reality is that many people are very self-centred creatures, when you take a step back and analyse them this becomes clear.

[–]MarauderFH6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Faking attraction for a hot girl is only useful for social proof. But you don't sound like you want to invest the time to play that game. And that's totally fine. Your introspection puts you miles ahead of the competition though. Maintain your personal investment goals. Physical and mental.

[–]theredpill226 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're right, I don't really want to play the game.

I think my social time would be better invested spending time with my bros and developing deeper relationships with them. Fuck women.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang7 points8 points  (9 children) | Copy

One of the most insidious bits of blue programming we all get injected with nowadays is the aspiration to be "a good boy". You've got a gaping untreated wound in this aspect of your ego, and you might be unaware it's right there. Wanting to be "a good boy" has gotta go. Do whatever it takes, even deliberately be a very bad boy for a time, if you need to.

Whatever it takes to shake it off, is well worth it.

Until it's gone it's always going to be confusing: people are so mean to each other, if only they were nice, no one is talking to me, I must be repulsive, etc. etc. At bottom it boils down to: I'm a good boy and it's not fucking working. It's not supposed to work, as you were never supposed to be a good boy, but an evolving grown man. Being a "good boy" for you as a man is tantamount to permanent crippling inauthenticity.

Speaking from some experience along the same lines as you. I felt those things you feel about social interactions too, people seemed "horrible". Guess what, now after a while on the red pill it's the exact opposite - I laugh and enjoy myself when they are horrible, and am deathly bored when they're being predictable "good boys and girls". I don't WANT them to not be horrible, that takes all the fun away, because I don't want to be a good boy any more either. The thing is all interconnected, and you will likely feel an incredible relief when you shrug this limiting bullshit off. A very simple thing, just hard to put into words.

When you pull yourself over this hill blocking your vision, you'll have a very different outlook with regard to hookup culture, alcoholism around and so on. It may still be "negative" in that you refuse to partake in that shit, perhaps you have better things to do. But it will no longer have any capacity to "get you down", if you follow my meaning. It just stops mattering so much, you look at people getting shitfaced enjoying themselves and smile too. You don't have to partake, but you don't have to feel excluded or "different", either. And all because you're noone's good little boy any more.

[–]theredpill223 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

I actually want to be a decent person with morals, though. Being a nasty piece of shit doesn't make me feel better, it makes it worse.

To be perfectly honest, it sounds like you've purposefully destroyed your humanity. I've thought about doing this before, just saying fuck everything and manipulating others into getting what I want, and rationalizing that they deserve it because they are horrible. This will only make the loneliness and alienation worse.

I'm actually quite good at manipulating others, but I make a conscious effort not to do it. It's not a good road to go down and it just made me even more angry and hateful.

Case in point :

There is only two girls in my classes (EE). One of them was very interested in me. Inviting me to go out places with her, doing homework for me, rubbing my legs in public, I could go on. This was back when I was in a much more hateful stage. I didn't really care about her at all and I was so full of hate that I found it amusing to manipulate her and string her along, one minute pretending I cared about her, then ignoring her. Getting her to do things for me. I remember telling a friend of mine that if she did one more assignment for me I might let her suck my dick.

I'm ashamed of my behaviour now. I don't know how I was so callous and cruel. My father has a dark triad personality, so that's probably where I got the nastier streak of my personality.

He would have a similar outlook to what you have described. He doesn't have any morals or empathy for anyone. He's a sick twisted bastard and when it comes down to it, he's without question the most miserable man I've ever met. He hates himself more than he could ever hate anyone else.

[–]Ozymanberg0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Like the others said, that good boy mentality has got to go. The hardest part of all of this, I feel, is when you realize all of this is just a big power play. Meaning, everyone's out for themselves no matter what they say. Having morals is fine, but you have to be cunning. There's nothing "wrong" with being manipulative. People attempt to do it to you all the time, anyways, and as long as that manipulation is not hurting the other person long term I don't see how that breaks your moral code.

You can see it as depressing (like I did in the beginning) or just take the world for what it is and laugh at it. It truly is how you frame everything in your mind. Apologies if you mentioned it earlier, but have you looked up on stoicism?

[–]theredpill221 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Jesus man, its not a "good boy mentality" to care about other people's feelings and to have some bit of empathy. That's called being human.

I get no joy out of manipulating others to get what I want. It makes me hate myself and god knows I have enough self hate already.

[–]Ozymanberg0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Call it what you want but it's basically what I'm saying. I do care about people's feelings, which is why when you realize 99% of other people don't, it sucks. We wouldn't need to adapt ourselves to this if we didn't have empathy, otherwise we'd just be psycopaths and robots. I'm just saying it how it is. Maybe you need first hand experience of what it's like to get hurt by someone you trusted, though I'm not belittling your input.

You either play the game or you don't.

[–]theredpill222 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Living with a narcissistic father gave me a pretty good idea of what it was like to be hurt by someone I trusted. It was a weekly reminder at least, whenever he had his outburst of rage and hatred.

One of his favourite games was to send me looking for a tool in the shed, but the tool wasn't actually there. I'd go look for it, naturally I wouldn't find it. I'd tell him this, his face would swell with rage, to this day I've never seen the same look of pure anger and hatred in anyone's eyes as I saw in his. It was more animal than human.

"I'm warning you P, find that fucking tool or you will be sorry"

I'd go back to the shed, already in tears, scared for my fucking life. I'd search frantically, knowing that the longer I took the angrier he'd get. I'd start looking in places I knew it wouldn't be, just out of sheer desperation. I was terrified to go back and tell him I couldn't find it, I was so scared of him that anything would have been better than that. I remember wishing I was dead instead of going back to him, I was 7 at the time. My first suicidal thoughts.

I'd go back again, the anger would increase, the fear would increase. Sometimes he would send me back to the shed 4 or 5 times to look for it, sometimes only once. When he finally gave up and hit his breaking point, he'd drag me down to the shed with him.

Naturally, the tool wasn't there. "Oh" was about as much of a reaction as I'd ever get from him, and he would act as if nothing happened.

He did this every weekend for a lot of my childhood. I've blocked a lot of these memories, I dont remember the worst of his abuse. I do know that the psychological abuse was much worse than anything physical that he did to me.

So please don't make assumptions about what other people have been through. I've been told by a medical professional that my childhood was one of the worst cases he has seen. I would have the typical childhood of a sociopath and I have many sociopathic traits.

It's not glamorous and it's not fun. It's an empty, lonely world to be in. Yet I don't want to be this way, I'm working to develop my empathy and to overcome the childhood traumas that have completely killed my emotions and left me dissociated and withdrawn from my own life.

I would have every excuse to become the kind of sociopath you want to be.

[–]Ozymanberg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was assuming based on what you had said before. Sorry you had to go through that, man. I really am. What I'm talking about is obviously not stuff to the extent of your father. I don't want to be a sociopath, for Christ's sake, the majority of people don't want that. But having detachment of emotion from stuff that would otherwise be detrimental to your well-being is a perk. That's why I asked you if you have looked into stoicism. It's not about not having emotions at all but to learn how to control then.

Like I said, you either play the game or you don't. I'm not telling you that playing the game is the true way, I'm just saying... You either whine about everyone being selfish and manipulative, you step up and push back or you do nothing.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

On the other hand, no one here was signing up to be your daddy.

Tried to share the information with you. It is a lot like that shed. If you find nothing there that looks like the tool you need, then you shit yourself and cry, that's going to be your own personal tragedy. Nothing to do with the drill or the jackhammer you were advised to be looking for.

If you ask me, you've been victimizing yourself and listening to "health professionals" overmuch, man. So you had a rough time growing up. Does that now automatically mean that rough times are something you will continually avoid, that you will not go to sheds, you will not touch the tools a man needs in his life to get by? I don't think so, that would be stupid. Beware of allowing yourself to think that "the opposite" of your psycho dad is all that good and what you want to be/become. It really isn't. There's a lot of raw wisdom in that animal-psychotic world of your dad, and it's being stolen from you, negated. That is your birthright, you suffered for it, and now you're made to turn your back on everything with soothing false words about "emotions", from the blue pill indoctrination machine. If you think they're going to save you, that they have the ability to give you a chance to become a full human being, you got another thing coming at you from that direction. They are absolutely full of shit, and will teach you how to do the same thing, i.e. to revel in self-deception and sink lower with every passing year.

The so-called normies are themselves fucked up and disassociated up to their cowardly gills, they're only simulating that empathy they're trying to sell you a beautific vision of, as well. Under the guise of "well meaning" health professionals and blue pill pap printed in glam-looking magazines, they giddily deliver you into even more confusion. Thanks a lot for saving me from the fire, but did you have to drown me in that water right after? And they tell you, yes little buddy, we have to - being like us is the only correct way to be for a human being, our morals are the only morals, our good is the only good, everything else is lies and evil. Oh really, Mr. Jewburg? Did you learn all that in therapist school?

There's a lot of devilry here in normie-lands too, trying to further disassociate you from you true self - this time because you're told and made to feel that you need to become "a good person", "develop empathy", etc.

[–]atomsk4131 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like an ego check is needed really

"If everyone around you seems like an asshole, you're the asshole."

[–]SqueakerChops2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Understanding the roots of a lot of what makes life miserable can be pretty disheartening. You dislike the hookup culture because you see it for what it is, you have an idea of all of the various negative thoughts, habits, outcomes etc that it is filled with.

The same can be said for being cynical towards others. You understand that there's something they're not getting, they're deluding themselves, that their suffering would lessen if they would just stop desperately chasing and clinging to pleasant, but useless and fleeting things, yet no one seems to be able to wake up and stop the bullshit. its frustrating. The divisions that people buy into, the "us and them"s, the endless need to have someone that you are better than, that you can talk shit about. It can be depressing when you can really see it. Why can't people just be decent to eachother?

Personally, the only way I can think about it without bitterness is trying to be sympathetic to them. I didn't always understand what I do now, I know I have a long long way to go, so why should I be unhappy because someone else does not understand something? In fact, why should others cause me to be unhappy at all? No one should have the power over me to decide my emotions. I am where I am, they are where they are.

That's what I try for anyway. Its not easy to just switch a flip and think differently. It takes practice and effort. In my case, I'm on the mediative path, and I plan to never leave it.

I think it's good you are as self aware as you are, esp about overanalyzing. I'd reccomend continued awareness of that analysis, try to learn what it consists of, the tone of the thoughts, what topics and concepts are going through your head.

I think you've made incredible progress from what you've said about your past. Consider the cognitive dissonance between some of your darker stages and now. How different of a mindset you have now, right? Well keep on going man, because just like you can look back now and see your issues of the time in a whole new light, you'll be able to do the same in the future to what you're struggling with now. Keep on improving, keep on learning about how you work, how your head works, how the world works. Find the unpleasant truths, and the hidden joys of life. Question everything you think you know as fact, always keep asking why.

Be careful of labeling people, and be even more careful of labeling yourself. When you accept a label for yourself, you limit yourself. It magnifies some aspects, and hides many others. e.g. Are you an over-analyzer, or do you notice that you have a lot of critical, analytical thoughts that can get carried away? It may sound like semantics, but the distinction is important. (Not trying to knock ya don't worry c:) You are not your thoughts, you are a person who has thoughts.

And this may be ironic (and possible pretentious?) after a long comment giving advice, but be careful what advice you listen to, and why you listen to it. Most people are wrong about something, I think that's safe to say, even if they seem like they know what they're talking about. I wonder how much I'm wrong about?

(please excuse some grammar and stuff I'm on mobile and a lil lazy)

[–]6ix_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey I'm 20 too and I'm also an over-analyzer. PM if you want brother, I feel you.

[–]ValhallaShores1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

From reading your previous responses I could tell (besides mentioning you're taking classes) that you're at a stage where you still have a lot of life to experience. This will include developing healthy perspectives of success & fulfillment, finance, socializing, passion & fucking, relationships (platonic/romantic), etc. Now that I'm through my 20's, understanding that decade was really all about experimenting with a decent safety net is paramount. You sound cerebral, hold on to that, but don't let it keep you from making mistakes, learning from said mistakes and banging out some pussy. If you want legit chemistry, you might hafta be patient as most women are soulless succubi.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm the same as that guy... literally every single woman I meet are fundamentally the same... it makes me lose hope for any possible relationship, I don't even want one but at the same time my biological urge is still there.

[–]lJunKunl points points [recovered] | Copy

I think we're the same person. Have you moved forward at all? What steps have you taken?

[–]theredpill222 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have moved forward leaps and bounds over the past year or so.

My teenage life was a living hell. I don't know how I didn't kill myself. I slept four hours a night, needed heavy medication just to leave the house, ate less than a 1000 calories a day (at 6'3), jacked it 3 times a day to fucked up porn. I could go weeks without speaking to anyone other than my parents (I don't have a good relationship with either of them). I have no positive memories of my life from the age of 13 to 19.

Since getting out of my childhood home and going to college (despite the above I was top of my class in math and physics), I've changed completely. I manage my health better, I only fap twice a week (not to porn), I got back in touch with my childhood friends, I go the gym daily and I train very hard, I have a 3.7 GPA, I rekindled an interest in fashion and taking care of my appearance (not for women, I'm genuinely interested in fashion and always have been), I landed an internship with a financial firm and impressed, I carry myself with confidence and its not an act either, I've completely overcome my social anxiety, to the point where I feel like nothing can beat me or intimidate me anymore.

Like I said, I have moments of weakness. But I need to keep in mind the hell that I pulled myself out of, and that I've already made a lot of progress. Rome wasn't built in a day.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

"To live alone, one must either be a beast or a god" - Aristotle.

We all struggle with this; humans are social, tribal creatures. And women feel it just as much as we do, if not more so. You're not soft or sensitive, you just expect more out of people. That's not the worst thing in the world.

[–]Rocky_Bukkake12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

opposed to so much of what is said here, companionship and love are necessary for some kind of happiness. truly necessary, but they feel weaker and softer. it's not impossible to find companionship.

i like the red pill insofar as it shows people stoicism, and to be okay with who they are. but it seriously gets stupid when the people all hate on women or nitpick for examples where they can shame women.

but... it's not impossible to find someone like you, who likes you. and it's not like girls don't experience the same thing.

[–]Specter2423 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have two or three close friends that I enjoy spending time with. I'm studying a difficult major and doing quite well with it. I'm set up for a successful career financially. There are moments of weakness, however. And they hit me hard. I get this deep deep feeling of loneliness, a loneliness that feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I start to believe that nobody likes me, that I'm repulsive, that I'm not worthy of being loved. And this hurts so fucking bad.

Your situation is very similar to mine. Trying to stay focused on my studies so that I can establish a solid career along with focusing on maintaining a healthy lifestyle through diet and lifting bring some happiness but sometimes the loneliness and inadequacy does creep up making me ponder whether or not my life would ever get to a higher point. Yeah having a great career, physique etc. would bring happiness but there's still this longing to share these accomplishments with the right person.

[–]TyrannyVengeance3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even if you ease in to it some day someone is gonna rip your heart out. It may be a family member a teacher a mentor hell a pastor at the local church. Being human means someday some other human will break you. Most of us found the red pill BECAUSE of this pain. You are in pre broke mode. You have two options. 1. Hide for eternity and prolly still get smashed. 2. Start socializing now ease in to it and keep working your plan.

[–]Roaring40sUK2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a very shy person and when it comes down to it, when I take all of this redpill stoic alpha male bullshit away, I feel like I'm just too soft and too sensitive to socialise with others. I get hurt too easily, I can't handle people being nasty. I just wish everyone would be nicer to each other.

Read The Power of Now. It talks about seperating yourself from your thoughts and how the ego can rule you. Honestly I believe everyone should read it, it will help.

[–]slay_it_forward0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Guessing you have small wrists.

[–]anabolic9221 points22 points  (13 children) | Copy

I don't really have had ever any success with women. Just recently managed to fuck a tinder girl and I get so many anxiety of when or how to set a new date to fuck, I don't want to look needy but hly duck its killings me thinking all the day of what to say just to not mess up.

Not all of us are attractive enough to attract women, to me this is an opportunity to get a potential plate.

As some others mentioned iit when you are so lonely and for a long time it fucking kills you. It will destroy you, and if you are long enough as me it will change your self worth, perception of reality and esteem to unimaginable levels.

You start to think what's wrong with you, if you are a monster. I don't really want to feel loved just desired, not like my smv is the same as a fcking rat.

[–]Five_Decades14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

The problem is unleashed hypergamy has created a culture of massive smv inequality. Most men are invisible, some do OK and a minority do great on the market.

Due to math, luck, genetics, etc only a small minority of men are high smv.

[–]anabolic926 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

And how will this end? More males giving up on women and getting addicted to porn to satisfy sexual needs until women hit the wall and decide to give them more attention?

If that's the future that is awaiting for me not really looking forward with a lot of happiness lol

[–]Five_Decades5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

More males giving up on women and getting addicted to porn to satisfy sexual needs until women hit the wall and decide to give them more attention?

Yup. Women ride the CC until their looks fade, they get burnt out and they are bitter, then they decide to 'settle' with a guy they don't really respect out of fear of being alone.

[–]anabolic921 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No way to escape this then? I'll have to be alone until and old sloot shows interest on me just because she has had enough dick?

[–]Five_Decades1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think only about 20% of women actively ride the cc. The rest do not.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table[S] 10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

You need to find a basis for your happiness that isn't women and getting laid. Because--and this is me being brutally honest here--you will never have the success that a natural will have, which makes it all the more pointless in caring so much. Give fewer fucks.

[–]anabolic924 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

As a male in his mid 20s and being horny 24/7 how is that even possible? I try being busy 24/7 with gym+work+studying to the point where I only get 6h of sleep every day, but I can't deny I think of fucking everyday

[–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm in the same age group as you. I have a really high drive, and my LTR is always tryna keep up. I'd say get an FWB or two--someone that will give you reliable, consistent, great sex. With that out of the way, you'll find it easier to focus.

[–]lJunKunl points points [recovered] | Copy

I'm out here just about to hit 20 and no libido. No idea how you can do it even with such little sleep

[–]slay_it_forward1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

20 and no libido? Wtf. Get your T levels checked asap.

[–]anabolic920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Synthetic testosterone aka steroids

[–]blasted_biscuits0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Study up on inner game and stoicism. If you're feeling this way it's going to show and no woman is going to want to get with you no matter how high your SMV. Get right inside, get right outside and the pieces fall into place.

[–]Popular-Culture points points [recovered] | Copy

It is your imperative to find a mission that represents who you are as a man

Let me take it a step further: often times, the women will come as a result of following your mission. So you can actually become sexually successful without having women be your focus or end goal.

I had this friend in high school who was kind of a band geek and couldn't really talk to girls. We went to all-boys school, so that certainly didn't help his case. Rather than pursue girls, he spent pretty much all his time making music. He plays at least 5 different instruments. Sure enough, now he's in a semi-successful band playing local shows and performing at colleges, and he's meeting a lot of girls because of it. I know that's how he met his current girlfriend (at a show). So by making music his mission and steadfastly pursuing it, he managed to get more women in his life, without that being his end goal. I know that's not why he does it; he does it because he loves music.

[–]slay_it_forward-2 points-1 points  (7 children) | Copy

LOL how many guys mission is going to bring them the status of being in a band? 1%?

Fuck off with the mission brings women bullshit.

[–]Popular-Culture points points [recovered] | Copy

Go take 10 deep breaths and calm down.

Anyone who works at it hard enough can be successful with it. You don't have to be in The Rolling Stones. You dont have to be Ozzie Ozbourne. Playing small venues to a hundred people is all it takes.

You have a lot to learn, buddy.

[–]slay_it_forward-4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Learn how to read retard. I agreed being in a band brings status but most men will not be pursuing a career in music.

[–]Popular-Culture points points [recovered] | Copy

It was an example. There are an unlimited number of missions you can pursue. Music is just one of them.

[–]slay_it_forward-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

No actually there are very few that bring the status of a musician. Bartender and Dj come to mind.

[–]Popular-Culture points points [recovered] | Copy

It's not about status. You clearly have a very poor grasp of the original post and my comments, so I'm going to stop replying to your nonsense.

[–]slay_it_forward-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

If it's not about status was is it about? Please explain to me. I'm simple minded.

[–]tableman9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I love my girlfriend, but I don't expect her to never cheat on me.

If it happens it happens and I will just move on.

I see her as just another interesting chapter in my life. She is not the story my life revolves around.

[–]SpankMePanky52 points53 points  (10 children) | Copy

I'm just a bit lonely and want my dick sucked

[–]Returnofthemack328 points29 points  (9 children) | Copy

this is why prosts should be legal lol. If i could just go out and get my dick wet for an hour, once every few weeks at an honest rate, i'd be totally fine lol. I know this is bad, but I really don't enjoy women at all, company wise. I just want to get the poison out and leave

[–]phantomlordd28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

Prostitution is legal here in my country. There are so many men in my social circle that have sex almost exclusively with hookers that you wouldn't belive. Some of these men are ripped and make good money. You start to give up on gaming some entitled 6s when you can have some dirt sex with 9s without any bullshit just opening your wallet. The only problem is that it's really addictive and you end up wasting tons of money if you don't control yourself.

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

hooking is illegal here, but my friends fuck hookers all the time anyway. many of them have wives that are pretty good looking too. its just the way the world works.

[–]BreathOfDick5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not at all surprised. How does that impact the dating scene. Majority of females still entitled cunts or does it offset that somewhat?

[–]DigitallyDisrupt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Germany is adding them to the socialized medicine roster.

Healthcare provided prostitutes vs overrun with Muslims. Wow, the highs and lows.

[–]UndergoThoreau1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

its legal in Nevada. I have a bud who makes hundreds sometimes racks daily off it

[–]bitchpotatobunny0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If that's what you're looking for then just find a shady massage parlor. They have varying ranges of quality (there are sites you could look them up on) and services, but it'll get you what you're looking for.

$60 for the massage (mediocre at best) and ~$50 - $80 for a finish of your choosing. Mileage may vary depending on establishment. In total you spend ~$110 - $140 for an hour long massage and a release.

I'd say it's probably not worth doing more than a couple of times. Not very fulfilling, but ultimately relaxing and simple.

[–]Returnofthemack30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i know you can still find it, but I don't want to do anything 'shady'. Any risk of arrest and having it on a permanent record is BAD to me

[–]Ozymanberg0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hear, hear. I sometimes enjoy the flirty interactions with women but modt of the time I just want to get down to business without all the bullshit lol.

It doesn't help that the escort services where I live are super sketchy.

[–]aherne189 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your self-improvement and dedication to being a step higher everyday on the stairway to heaven.

Beautiful and true words... Think how so many intelligent people here invest so much energy in talking about/pursuing women when that energy could be used for something much grander. For me, the joy of finding things out is a never-ending resource of balance and energy...

[–]MrBellsprout1239 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

I started swallowing the pill about 6 months ago and my life has completely changed. However I've found myself stagnating. I guess once I started to have success and kinda gotta feel for how it worked, I lost interest in it.

Its like it was more important to me that I know how to get a gf and sleep with women, then actually having a gf and sleeping with women. lol. Once I started having success with women, I didn't care to have success with women anymore. And just went back to playing video games.

[–]PedophilePriest1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel yeah man, it's a bitch to stay motivated once it's no longer excited and women don't seem special to you.

That said I see it as temporary lapse, frame is stronger than ever...just don't give a fuck to put in effort.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The thing is, having some sexy women in your life that you love and knowing how it all works so you can get them are not mutually exclusive.

If you had no blue pill brainwashing in you, you would have no problems with the way things really are. It's only because of that very brainwashing that you get super extra puppydog sad when you see women for what they are, and decide "nah, they're just not worth it".

Big mistake! Since here it's the negative emotions from all the past brainwashing you took that rule you in making that determination. This negative feeling naturally leads to escapism, of which video games are surely not the worst kind.

You will really be just fine, just gotta get that blue pill out of your system, and it takes effort and some strenuous puking is involved as well.

[–]1empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Something I've noticed is I hold too strongly onto my morality, which doesn't really serve me at all. I've gotten better since reading TRP but nowhere near the level I hope to be at.

My morality helps me summon respect from other dudes but has caused me to be a BP loser with women since forever. Any tips on dropping it?

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The core problem is that we're all force-fed the dogma about treating women the same as men, yet also treating them real special, yet also being the perfect gentleman, yet also being self-sacrificing and not selfish, yet being charming, yet never overtly sexual with women... The contradictions pile on and on, and there are so many layers that it's a wonder when any given man sometimes acts coherently around attractive women at all.

You can't treat them the same. They are not a man's equal. You can't have the same expectations of "Decency" when you're dealing with a woman. Can't expect her to hold ground for you when things get tough. Can't expect honesty or transparency from her lying face plastered with sexwar paint and fluttering fake eyelashes at you. A woman is a woman, you treat her right - which means, with a certain amount of proper condescension, and as if she were a public child you temporarily have to adopt and perhaps care for, before setting her free again.

I had to introduce the above two themes before an answer for your deep question became possible. See, there is no need to shed your moral frame FOR WOMEN. You having this moral frame and holding it inviolate is grounds for respect from fellow men. Women are not worth losing that over. The real issue isn't the morals (as you construct them with other men), it's that you're trying to be exactly the same or even more moral with women. That's the mistake, having morals is not a mistake. Shit, I'd gladly be laughed at as a faggot by women and be a BP loser if it meant I could uphold my TRUE moral fibre just a little bit. The thing is, what most of us semi-automatically project out when with women isn't true moral fibre at all, it's some very confused blue pill facade. They know it, and ruthlessly destroy/abuse it, because why not - since obviously she can, and the man is too confused to do anything about it. That's something to be real thankful for, because that blue pill facade needs to be destroyed so bad. It should burn down to the ground, so that you can, as an adult, consciously rebuild yourself as a temple facing your true moral North.

My tip is that the true moral North is never based on fear, it's based on organic duty and inevitability. "I'm doing so, because I can do no different", is the mantra of this true North the world over. That especially includes situations that cause doing your duty to be detrimental to own health, wealth, social standing etc. Women will never understand or admire it, and shouldn't be expected to. You smile at the children playing, and you do what you have to do anyway. No one is patting you on the back for it, no one is building you a statue, no one is even saying "hey thanks a lot"; and you do not feel in any way deprived, you're happy because you're able to do your duty.

The sign of false, slavish moralities is always fear(the stick) or working for a reward(the carrot). There is no happiness or duty well-served oozing from it, there is only fear and it's for the most part the fear of APPEARANCES. In other words, no one cares if you're a scumbag, you even know that you're a scumbag yourself, but you still feel like you have to LOOK good and seem like a decent fella to the others. When rare dark triad sociopaths calculate and act this way, that is not moral, and they are not afraid, it's just chameleon-like tactics. But most people with (false) blue pill morals are constantly afraid of looking bad, have no tactic to rely upon except for conformance, and hate the very idea that someone will think they are not a good boy and not a nice person. And this is the type of stuff that typically surfaces when a man raised on the blue pill interacts with women... Can you blame them for their righteous disgust?

It's not the morals that need to go, but the fear that someone will think you're not a good person. It's not possible to be truly moral and at the same time a slave to such base things as social fear. If you find a lot of that in yourself, that stuff can be safely discarded, nuked from orbit, and ashes spread over flushing porcelein - you won't ever miss it, this wasn't YOU or YOUR moral mettle, just some goofy costume you probably never even liked wearing in the first place.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're almost there. You've at least realised how little sex matters.

And just went back to playing video games.

Now is where you must make the choice. I'd say find something more constructive to do with your time other than simulated unreality.

[–]AmazingMalice points points [recovered] | Copy

Honestly, it seems to me that some of you fuckers have an issue with 'taking the pussy off the pedestal'. As a life-long Chad I have to say, sex is pretty fuckin' overrated. It is just barely more pleasurable than jerking off. College chicks are the most uninteresting and vapid creatures alive, and they are basically wet hole checkpoints I relieve myself at on my long road to the BAR.

At the end of the day, you're the only one there for yourself. Do not allow yourself to assume a female's attention means jackshit. It is simply your inner child longing for a mommy's validation.

[–]WerewolfofWS29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

Like a rich person saying that having all that money isn't that great when you're in poverty

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do not allow yourself to assume a female's attention means jackshit. It is simply your inner child longing for a mommy's validation.

This is a very important point. I feel like this creates some kind of hidden mechanism that puts someone in a strange unconscious constant neediness state... which they themselves don't realize. I also feel like girls can vaguely sense it...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

What would you do to help someone who is stuck in the cycle of constantly longing for their mother's validation?

[–]AmazingMalice0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Definitely something to think about... obviously someone who is in a state of mind such as that has some open wounds that are still oozing. I'm not necessarily qualified to give concrete advice regarding this, so I suggest seeking professional help from a psychiatrist.

Also, many of the things that fuck us up to this day stem from memories we have as defenseless children when the world was bigger and scarier and we looked towards adults for protection. If you were to be rejected as an adolescent, it would have a far less impact on your future mindset than rejection as a child would. Perhaps we need to recognize that it is self-detrimental to view past emotional injuries through the same eyes we had as children.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

do you by any chance know of John Bradshaw?

[–]AmazingMalice0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I do not, care to tell me why i should?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You mentioned "inner child" and other psychological terms that I've heard from him, but I guess they can be general psychological terms as well.

check that out if you have time.

[–]Katavasis5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women are like money: If you have none,then you are miserable without. If you have lots,then you don't care.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

I disagree with this. There's a reason we are here in trp and not mgtow, and it's not the most comfortable thing to talk about. The most "fulfilled" I've ever been is with a girl. That's why I'm here and probably a lot of other guys.

Being in love and having the girl love you back, no matter how fleeting, is something that frankly I don't think many guys have experienced here and it's anything but unfulfilling. If you are talking about random lays that you are over the second you get off, I'm right there with you. Clumping all relationships into that category though is pretty inaccurate.

I haven't done any record breaking in my life, but I can tell that after you hit that new chess rating, you finally get two plates on the bench press, you learn that new song on the guitar you thought was impossible 10 years ago, you get that new job, etc.. and you look beside you and there is no one there, it's incredibly empty.

I know it won't ever last forever, and I know how bad it is when it ends, but we don't get to take anything with us when we go to the other side and I am pretty sure I'm going to look back at those moments glad that I went through all those ups and downs. It's part of life.

whoops that was a bit of a ramble

[–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You sound over-invested in the idea of having a woman with you.

I haven't done any record breaking in my life, but I can tell that after you hit that new chess rating, you finally get two plates on the bench press, you learn that new song on the guitar you thought was impossible 10 years ago, you get that new job, etc.. and you look beside you and there is no one there, it's incredibly empty.

That's why you have a few close friends and family. Having someone to share it with is not exclusive to a woman.

And I say all this as someone in a great LTR.

[–]alphabeta493 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

There's this phenomenon where people with abundance tell people with scarcity that abundance isn't all that. You sorta disqualified your advice when you said you had an LTR.

I think boys, in order to become men, have to learn these things themselves. If I'm in poverty, I likely will not take the advice of a rich man. I must first become rich before I can possibly agree with him. And even then, I might think wealth is the best thing on the planet.

I think there's a lot of value in your post for men who have started out by making women their goal, have gotten their rocks off and seen firsthand how easy it is, and like MrBellsprout123 described, are confused about the next step.

As a married man who is struggling to achieve that sense of abundance, my visceral reaction to posts like yours is resentment. I quickly recognize the wisdom in it, and I must take your claims on faith.

All this to say, keep in mind that experience is the best teacher. Most men will not listen to your words, as much as we want to believe them (as indicated by the upvotes at least).

[–]stonepimpletilists points points [recovered] | Copy

Some lessons one has to learn themselves, the hard way

[–]alphabeta491 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I hear that and cringe, because whenever people told me that it was always with a shake of the head and a tsk tsk. Ya know, the hard way is the best way sometimes. Because you truly learn the lesson as opposed to merely accepting but always being curious.

[–]vagbutters20 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy

When a woman is truly "in love", she will do things that would amaze you. I've witnessed girls debase themselves for me, and risk everything they had simply because they thought they loved me.

I want to highlight this part, especially for the overweight or scrawny men reading this, because it's important. A good metric of whether or not you're physically successful is the extent and number of women who will bend over ass backwards for your attention. If you're not here, get your ass to the gym and work on your diet.

When you get to such a place, you'll quickly realize that all the attention you've put into women is absolutely worthless. Getting laid becomes easy, and you'll see with absolute clarity that women aren't as important as your hindbrain made them out to be.

[–]circlhat9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

You don't need muscle to make women bend over backwards just put yourself first

[–]vagbutters15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

You don't need muscle to make women bend over backwards

You must be fat or scrawny

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

not true at all. i know a few dudes that are ripped and good looking, but they're total betas and orbiters. its pathetic. then i have another friend that doesn't give two shits about working out and the pussy never ends. his game is top notch.

[–]GOATmar30 points31 points  (13 children) | Copy

People who say women's company ain't shit are bitter and never experience true, high quality women.

Their feminine nurture instantly improves the mood of any room.

The catch is... you have to be of high value yourself to meet and hangout with these women. If you are not, you are stuck with the braindead millennial sluts that have nothing to offer but some shit sex and weak banter.

Don't hate, elevate.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table[S] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've had almost nothing but high quality women. And I mean the type of girls that might actually tempt you to re-evaluate AWALT. But ultimately, their attention isn't something I'd ever advise to have as a foundation for life--which is what happens to most guys who lack experience and are just starting out.

[–]GOATmar5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy


the sole purpose of a human being is to pairbond and reproduce - men thrive to seek the attention & validation of their peers (mostly the attention of beautiful/high value people of the opposite sex) just like women do.

everything that leads to easily bedding beautiful, quality women is what leads to a fulfilling, happy, successful life.

so yes, it is definitely advisable to become the man beautiful women admire and obsess over. those who say otherwise simply arent experienced enough with the admiration of beautiful women.

[–]DigitallyDisrupt3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

are bitter and never experience true, high quality women.

Like Angelina Jolie? You mean high quality women like her, right?

[–]slothsenpai1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly, this is almost akin to guys who complain that every guy is an asshole when they only approach for those types. Don't get me wrong, there are so many cunty women out there but doesn't mean there aren't a good handful of women out there who are good to talk to. It's why I go for older women rather than millennials (blah blah post wall and totally undesirable).

[–]GOATmar1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

haha sorry man... with older women i wouldn't be able to get over the fact that her skin just isn't a supple and glowy as the nubile women. not to mention noticeable boob sag and butt sag, no matter how in shape they are.

Father Time and Mother Nature destroy women with age.

plus a maxim of life is; if she is 25 or older and is single.... she is damaged goods loaded with red flags.

now im not saying there aren't hot older women who have retained much of their youth through intense discipline... but not only are those extremely rare, youre almost always guaranteed a better experience just seducing a quality nubile chick instead.

your boner will thank you.

[–]HootieMane2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was THE fucking post that I needed to read today. You're the man.

[–]comptejete2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a gaggle of feather-boa-wearing stains like that can bend it to their own ends, how valuable can it really be?

Nothing devalues female attention more than observing the basis on which it is awarded.

[–]LidlKwark2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tip for anyone who doesn't really have a passion: try martial arts.

[–]BreathOfDick1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

However, I've witnessed something incredibly common amongst guys who didn't have success with women until later on: there is a tendency to lapse back into the old BP ways. It's not hard to see how this might happen--If a man puts an incredible amount of effort into the accomplishment of a goal, it is only natural that he be attached to the outcome.

Holy fuck. Man this post is phenomenal. Loaded with quotable material.

[–]1The_BitterTruth1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post, I have been thinking something along these lines recently. Thanks

[–]soldierofcinema points points [recovered] | Copy

I agree 100%. Watch the movie Le Samourai, if you haven't already.

We should all be that alone. Alone as a way of life, a forecaster of how life finally works out. Delon is the practice run. Pay attention!

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

alain delon is a fucking legend. his films were ridiculously popular in soviet union and i watched a lot of his films growing up. watched this film as well as a kid, but time to revisit it. thanks!

[–]bigtuna451 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Despite what the media and the rest of the Blue Pill will tell you, there is absolutely nothing special about a woman's love or affection.

Further, it's important to remember that there is nothing special about YOU. You are NOT special - remember this! If you remember this then it would follow that there is nothing that CAN make you special - including a women's attention.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is like the saying that money can't buy happiness but being poor can make you unhappy.

[–]Maneytalks1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The key is realizing how to handle the women in your life. I have plenty of chicks I consider "friends." They fucking suck. We hang out, they invite me places, I meet other chicks through them, but holy shit if they're not vapid and retarded af. I call them out on their shit and they know it, and they love it too. They don't give a fuck. Realize the rules of the game and play accordingly. No need to be bitter, it is what it is.

[–]IvanKR71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, this was a damn good read.

[–]1ToSeeAndToHear1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I grew up with an idea that I could change the world, but in college I thought it was too hard, and decided to aim for a simple life - wife and kids, mediocre career, focus on video games, books, TV series. I met a girl, and made her my mission - trying to be a White Knight for a broken girl who ultimately had zero appreciation for what I did for her.

I've since recognized that the path I saw as possible but difficult is one of the few things I really want to achieve.

I could spend all that effort beating artificial challenges in games, or spend it on something real. Something way less than 1% of people get to do.

I've started laying the groundwork for it. I've even gotten to be around those who do what I want to do, and really... they're not any better than me, except for the time they've put in.

Even if I fall short of my goal, I'll die knowing I tried, and probably still accomplish more than most.

That, to me, is a mission. Find yours. Pussy, by comparison, is a footnote to your life.

[–]-Bonobo-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your self-improvement and dedication to being a step higher everyday on the stairway to heaven.

I like the stairway analogy. Using that, I think your post's title could be translated to: "Not being on step 3 may make you unhappy but step 3 will never bring you true happiness." Or, that's how Maslow might see things.

I like what u/Meat-on-the-table is saying but I don't think this post should be a rallying cry for MGTOW precisely because of people who are in a similar situation as u/theredpill22 and others in this discussion. Those who claim to be happy without women are trying to skip a step and I don't think that's the the most efficient way to proceed.


Chris from Good Looking Loser wrote an article that changed the way I see the sexual landscape. The sub-title of his post says it all: Prioritize women in your 20s so you never have to again.


I'm no player. My sex life sucked during undergrad. I spent 2 years monogamous to a vegan feminist who ate nothing but oreos. I somehow managed to get alright grades but shit I was constantly thinking about women and sex and my dissatisfaction with life. I consumed TRP posts with the hunger of a million thirsty sluts. I didn't give a fuck about my academic career compared to how much I cared about getting my dick wet. I'm sure many of you can relate.


I've gotten better though. Now I'm in a non-monogamous LTR-ish thing and I have a few more ladies on the side. These days, I don't read anything about women other than a few of the top scoring TRP posts. My sex life is pretty much on auto-pilot and now I'm infinitely more focused on myself and my personal projects. I owe some of this to my obsession with reading game-theory but I owe most of it to the courage it took to put what I learned into practice and make a fool of myself trying to start conversations in line at starbucks (good girl:guy ratio there, check it out).


I liked your takeaway message but I'd edit it to say something more like:

So if you find that you're unhappy because there is a vacuum of women in your life--and many do--study game so that you can fill this empty space with wet holes. Once you succeed, you'll realize that you're hungry for more and you will have the focus to pursue something more substantial in your life.

[–]bigk12345[🍰] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bitches are just a by-product of your awesome life.

Never the focus.

[–]NeoreactionSafe1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy


I'm starting to get annoyed at this obsession with happiness.

Feelings are temporary... the truth is eternal.

"Feelz before Reals" or "Reals before Feelz"?

Remember that a stoic view is an objective one in priority.

The Red Pill isn't about "getting high"... it's about destroying the darkness that is blinding you.

As I see the Red Pill it is entirely destructive... we "Kill the Beta" and are free because of it and then chasing after "Happy Feelz" seems less important. We become freed of our need for chasing those highs.

When we think of father figures we don't imagine them as doing crack or heroin.


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Why do you do "Realz before Feelz"? because you feel that it will give you better happiness in long term. No human does anything other than chase pleasurable emotions, whether long term or short, efficient or inefficient.

Even searching for "truth" is only because you believe this truth is going to give you the ultimate pleasurable emotion.

[–]NeoreactionSafe1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy


Just no.

Truth is an eternal thing.

Truth is Natural Law.

The pursuit of Truth acually can lead us down a very dark road of discovery.

Watch this.... all the way to the end.

Set aside the time (3.5 hours) and really comprehend what Truth means.


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I know about all that stuff, and even though it's hard to read about now, the only reason one keeps going is because they deeply believe there is "good" at the end of the rainbow. Or the satisfaction of knowing they are going for truth instead of lies.. otherwise people would just fall into the blue pill since it would generate more happiness.

The only reason to seek truth would be because it ultimately gives more happiness, otherwise what the hell would be the point?

[–]NeoreactionSafe1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's why most people live a life of self deception.

Truth isn't a happy feeling... it never was.

This is why few are close to the Truth.

"Ignorance is Bliss" is a statement of fact... the Blue Pill is based on it.


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I would rather say, the few that are close to Truth are few because the face of Truth is very ugly. Only the brave get past the gate of the ugly face. I would say once you get past the ugly face, Truth in fact is the greatest happiness one can experience and live in.

[–]NeoreactionSafe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do not focus on the highs and lows.

Women ride the:

Hamster Wheel of Subjective Happiness and Progress not think as women do.


Stoic objective reality holds a steady "rock like" view in contrast to the subjective.

Be the rock... let the ups and downs of life be just cycles you are accepting of but not anything more.


[–]ReallyHard_Wood points points [recovered] | Copy

I bet there's quite a few Satanist who study TRP.

[–]NeoreactionSafe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Of course because they need to know the Truth in order to gain power.

555 (beta) is ruled by 666 (ego satanism).

777 (amused mastery) cannot be achieved directly from 555 (beta).

We must separate from the herd mind first (666) before we can realize that Natural Laws cannot be surpassed. Only after 666 can we get to 777.


555 ---> 666 ---> 777


...there is no shortcut.


This is why humanity has had so many troubles all along.

We must first be "the opposite of beta" before we end up in line with Natural Laws.

Few people are ever enlightened (disillusioned... "Kill the Beta") to the point of realizing that Natural Law is universal and eternal.

The ego satanism prevents 666 from getting to 777.

This is the human condition. (it has always been this way)


[–]aazav0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Improving yourself will make you happy. You look or happiness in that which you are able to achieve and in that which you are able to appreciate and see when you did not before. Self improvement and your ability to achieve is your path to happiness.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice. I was talking to some senior contacts of mine who have committed wives and stable marriages about this. Their perspective was the commitment juice is the worth the squeeze but their women are different. Ours are, as OP says, wet holes.

[–]Hakametal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think every man needs to experience ONEitis in their life. Until you experience what it's like to invest your emotions into something that is as volatile as women, you won't have the emotional fortitude to look out for yourself first.

Don't be afraid to love women, but always have something you love more.

[–]hamstercide0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In logic this would be called a "necessary but not sufficient condition". Having a woman is probably necessary to living a satisfied life, but it is not sufficient - you need more than just that.

[–]mummersfarce_is_done0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That thing is you. Your self-improvement and dedication to being a step higher everyday on the stairway to heaven.(The staircase doesn't end, by the way, which often prompts many to believe that there's no point in even beginning the climb. But there is. Better to know there is nothing at the top after having climbed as far as you can.)

That seems to be the perfect solution fallacy to me. If a solution does not lead you to perfect outcome, then it is not a good solution. That is like saying you will never obtain infinite amount of money, so acquiring more money is not worth it. Even though more money ------> better life

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The very energy due to women empowers the man now only if he used it in something other than pussy hunting it would actually be useful

[–]icarus14-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

There's nothing special in anyone else's attention. Why are you picking woman in particular?

[–]Endorsed ContributorMeat-on-the-table[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You might wanna check where you are. If you want sexual strategy for how to get men, then good luck finding it.

[–]constellationofsuns-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

In saying this you're assuming all women are the same... women are humans and they deserve the same respect you'd give a man. They can be your best friend or your lover or your Fuck buddy and all of them are different and all of them want different things.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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