Out of the many concepts that are driven into our heads time and time again on this subreddit, abundance mentality is one of the most pertinent.
I'm not going to go over the definition of abundance mentality, as I'm sure you all know the definition, but do you really understand it?
When I first stumbled upon the Manosphere, most importantly the TRP and askTRP subreddits, I recall spending a couple of hours every day reading the material, but nothing ever really stuck, you know?
I recall visiting askTRP almost every day with a new question, such as:
- She flaked on me for a second time, do I give her another chance?
- She told me she was going to the movies with some girl friends, but I saw her on her friend's Snapchat story at a bar with other dudes. What do I do?
...you get the picture.
The only advice I was ever met with, while frustrating at first, was the only answer I needed: next.
In life, both personal and professional, you will be met with situations that aren't ideal, some will be downright horrendous, but the only thing you can do is ask yourself:
Am I willing to walk away right now?
If you can't answer that question with a definite yes, ask yourself why you aren't willing to walk away, fix whatever it is within yourself that is holding you back, and walk away.
You are a man, most importantly a man with options. Never allow yourself to be put in a position where you feel you are trapped, that comes from a mindset of scarcity. Life is too short and too uncertain to spend any of it unhappy or complacent. If someone is in the way of you accomplishing your goals, tell them they can kiss your ass. At the end of the road there will only be one name on the tombstone, yours, so live life for you.
Embrace the positive. Ditch the negative. Be happy.
Peace.
.... Don't destroy this ability by marriage.
GOOD point by my wife; we always tell grandson not to get married :)
seem like marriage is just an excuse to have sex after wedlock
Even with marriage or nailed to a god-damned cross. You will always have an option: suffer or not.
Unless it's a suffer/suffer situation
Pain is mandatory in life. Suffering is optional.
Good point - fuck no don't ever get married
and don't have 3 kids with said bitch either. Jesus I wish I'd found this subreddit 6 years ago...
Good.... good.. let the hate flow through you..
This should help you cope with it www.blowmeuptom.com
Everything happens for a reason
This will be a real great comment when your wife discovers your account. Douche. If you didn't want to have kids, why the fuck did you have them!?
I would still totally have had my kids. Only difference is I never would have let myself slip into the role of beta/provider who justifies it because his wife "let's" him drink with his buddies.
I can't tell you the power of being able to tell your girl "okay, then leave" you can literally see her whole self worth being ripped out of her chest its hilarious. It did wonders for her attitude around me. Being able to just walk away is the foundation of TRP bitch management theory.
I find that whenever you show you a girl you are willing to walk away at the drop of dime, her attraction to you increases 100x.
How do you show that you're willing?
I seem to have a problem with this and in my head anything I can think of would probably communicate that I'm, not willing but, actually breaking up with her.
There's a lot of ways to show willingness to walk (abundance/outcome independence). One way is to never have entered a monogamous relationship in the first place, that sends a pretty strong message. Another way is, when she's doing something that you don't like and she won't stop, you say "I think I'm gonna go now..." and you actually start to leave. If she's attracted to you she'll 180 and scramble to keep you there, you can literally see her get turned on, its crazy. Don't go into a full speech, just change the emotions she's feeling from you, girls respond to emotional stimulation not logic, if your going to go on a speech about how X quality makes to annoyed, then fuck off. When she pisses you off, cut off all emotional output and let her know why and if she doesn't stop, leave. That's how I do it with FB's anyway.
This is basically the key to busting LMR. LMR the first time is natural, you re-escalate again. Usually you get it the second time. Rejection twice? Walk away and she'll do a 180 like you just explained.
Had a slut test me at her place with a bunch of people over that were mutual friends of her roommate and I. Was also fucking the roommate, but that's irrelevant. Bitch comes at me with some shit, and I get my jacket and don't say a damn thing, simply head to the door. She pulls a 180 and begs to go with me. I let her and she gives me head in my truck, then spends the night at my place getting fucked and other kinky shit.
She reacted as expected to everything RP I did, and to everything BP I did. Push her away and get her to lose interest by acting blue, make her wet and wanting to get every hole fucked by being red me. The hotter they are the more true this is. Heavier and uglier girls shit test far less, but still react the same to our actions.
Nike has a famous slogan for you.
You have to truly be ok with her leaving, though. That's the trick. It doesn't work if you don't mean it.
But if you're truly ok with her leaving, then you're actually not giving a fuck about the relationship, and then why bother?
It seems you need to Schroedinger your way over a tightrope of caring and not caring about the girl/relationship at the same time.
I admit I haven't mastered this. I either care (and usually get used as a result), or truly DGAF and just not have a relationship.
Think of it like working for a great company. You want to get yourself in a position with your skills and experience to where you can leave the company at any time and have plenty of other great companies willing to hire you.
This doesn't mean you don't value your current company.. it just means that you're not dependent on that company for your survival.
You only invest as much into the relationship as the bitch does.
She earns your investment and attention by paying in investment and attention of her own.
You must learn to suppress your emotions for her and treat it like a transaction. Only let her see your emotional investment once she's earned it with dedication and loyalty.
From personal experience, things become simple and clear for me when you care while she behaves, and stop doing so when she doesn't. Caring about a woman and enjoying her company is a great pleasure in life, yet great freedom comes when you are able to watch the relationship from the outside and judge it objectively, despite the way you feel. If you find yourself in a position in which you have to be willing to walk away, then your mind is supposed to have been already detached from the girl at that very moment.
Life is fluid and a 10 year LTR walking out is just another wave on your voyage.
in my view, it's not that you don't give an absolute fuck about the relationship, it's more that you're simply indifferent. Similar to how you may be indifferent to a pint of lager or a pint of ale - I like both, but if my friend bought one for me rather than the other, I'd still be happy.
This approach to women can only truly be achieved if you have other plates who are more or less of equivalent SMV to the given plate that may leave you. If the plate that may leave is your 'trophy plate' (eg. because shes a 10) then admittedly you may begin feeling some inkling of overinvestment, and the best strategy is simply to next and replace her with someone equivalent, or be satisfied that the price of her pussy cannot overcome the sum value of the other multiple plates you are currently spinning.
You can fake it until you make it. Just don't fake so much you fake yourself out and try to get her back with a mariachi band and roses at her doorstep, although even this too will help your progression.
But what about when to stay
You stay when it's worth it. Disrespect, dishonesty, incoming bitchfestness, general moments of retardation and idiocy are when you say "okay, then leave".
In all things in life, not just with women, this is paramount. Do not ever put yourself in a situation where you cannot do without a person, addiction, job, or anything!!
i keep 3-6 months of my annual wages in savings. whats commonly called fu money. not that i have needed to ever spend time looking for new work (engineer), but always a good idea to be ready to leave anything for better prospects
I have found that walking away from females and their bull-shit does bring a lot of benefit. I have walked away from females that were completely out of line and I have found that many chicks just can't handle it. They are so used to blue pill men that they expect everyone to just accept their bull-shit. That they just lose their shit when they see you walk away. It also becomes an opportunity to use her to build your social proof because they then start talking about you and trying to bait you to come back. Other females see this and it creates a buzz.
"Let there be nothing in your life, have no attachments, that you cannot leave in 30 seconds flat, if you spot the heat around the corner"
Leaving people sucks, esp if you've invested in them in some way, but you have to form your own "code" of how you want to live your life and what you are willing to tolerate, and you have to be true to it, even if it costs you. It's easy to be true to your values when thing are easy, it's when it costs you that you find out what you are made of in life.
Quick link to the epic reference: https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=H8Lp_fchqKE
Link with a little more context: https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=ycfQ23Rie9E
Got chills down my spine reading and recognizing that quote. Been a quote of mine to live by for some time, also glad that other people in here have seen this fantastic movie.
If you could boil down all practical red pill knowledge to one bit, it would be this.
Because it flows directly from the Cardinal Rule of Relationships
Excellent point. In Trumps's "The Art of the Deal", He states that the first bargaining chip that should be shown but kept close is the option to walk away. This gives you the greatest bargaining power.
Tupac also had a great quote in "The Rose That Grew from Concrete".
He said:
The whole book is golden. While it's hard to say Tupac was a great role model, the man had some brilliant things to say.
Like many great men, he also suffered from false rape accusations.
In some ways he is a great role model (and was for me). He was deeply flawed but admitting of those flaws. A fantastically interesting and inspiring guy. He naturally embodied a lot of TRP concepts.
It's hard to find anyone perfect. Tupac, however, embodies a lot of the qualities I aspire to from men.
As a man you should never beg for a women . Never bargain from a position of weakness . You leave in a cutthroat manner then I guarantee you she'll think of you and eventually come crawling back but don't take her back .
Sometimes women want a weak man, just so they can torture you. As a willing person be cognizant that you will be giving yourself up to this when you beg.
Just like saying nothing is often the most powerful thing you can say in response to a girls silly text. Get them to chase, next on bull shit
There is nothing like the reaction of girl after you respond with "... OK" to a nasty remark. She will do whatever she can to look good again :D
Not sure how to know when to next. If you actually should but don't realise, or if you're overreacting or not seeing things clearly.
And especially since I'm getting older, want kids and have already invested a lot of time into a relationship...
This community is really great, theres so much inspiration and value in nearly every post. But I've never really seen anyone here explain the nuances of 'NEXT'ing. The general understanding of it here is "she did 'x' and didn't immediately play along with me so NEXT...haha" or "she gave me a minor shit test, I don't play stupid GAMES. NEXT!" Which, to me is fine its your dick, sometimes a chick does something and you just don't like her after that. But theres a difference between that and protecting your ego because your afraid to try something new/different and get rejected. Anyways, If your interested in learning more about the nuances of NEXTing in the context of relationships look into Blackdragon PUA. He's pretty much the current authority on properly NEXTing and OLTR's (I dunno if thats what your looking for tho).
Here's a snippet of a great post he made a while back explaining how/when/why to soft next:
"Soft nexts work because it is removal of attention. Women crave attention from you more than anything else. Yelling at them, arguing with them, threatening them is all ATTENTION, thus these things will do very little to actually improve her behavior. Worse, these things usually just encourage a woman to give you even more drama. Soft nexting them is removing their attention, which is very powerful."
He goes on to explain more. Hope this helps you and anyone else lurking!
TL;DR NEXTing has nuances, look into BlackdragonPUA if you want some very good mostly free info loll
Think about it and analyze until you are 100% confident in your decision. This is your life and doubt has no place in it.
Was thinking about leaving my current girl today, because things aren't going how I want them to be going lately. And every time I decide it's time to let her go, she seems to act just how I wanted to begin with and we bring our relationship to another level
She can sense the dread caused from her behavior. That's a great trait to have
Funny walking away story. I was dating a girl for a couple months and she was starting to get increasingly bitchy. I could tell a break up was coming soon. So we went for a lunch and coffee date and she was extremely low contact, saying minimal words, yes, no, and playing on instagram and not conversating. Overall just being rude and I don't tolerate disrespect. We leave the restaurant and she is walking a couple of steps ahead of me, on purpose. Again, disrespectful. I stopped for a few seconds and she didn't even notice. She finally turned around and came back and I told her I'm done with this negative shit and I walked away.
She got infuriated hahaha! She accused me of abandoning her. I told her I don't like negative situations and she was being rude. (Before this happened, she told me a story about being in a car with her ex-fiance (red flag) and how he stopped the car and told her to get out.)
Yes, always be willing to walk away from ANY situation, not just women. It shows you have the higher value and don't tolerate any shit.
dude, ex-fiance is like THE biggest red-flag... haha
I have friends call me up asking me. My gf did XYZ, what do I do?!". Literally my answer to every single question is "break up with her". Its so simple, just dump her fucking ass.
If men as a collective stopped putting up with womens shit, then they wouldn't shit anymore. But with so many beta bucks in the world it will never happen.
This is a fire post. Not being afraid of shaking up the status quo is a great feeling. We were made to adapt and evolve.
Never get so attached to something that you can't walk away in 10 seconds if you feel the heat coming around the corner.
yeah seriously. If a girl is blowing you off and flaking and dicking you around, she's not that into you. No amount of groveling or supplication is going to change that. Shit, nexting might actually give you a chance if there is still hope of one. Just next the bitch guys, you'll know when a girl is into you. It's never an ambiguous thing, only bloopers think that way whilst getting blown off or jacked around
When I first discovered TRP, one of the biggest take away was the Brad Pitt test. Would a girl pull that same behavior on him? As you said, if she was in to you, she wouldn't play any of the same games.
yeah, and if you've ever had a girl into you (i hope you have haha), you'd know. If you don't know this, believe the guys telling you it!
Thanks for the reminder.
From a pussy-starved EE student living with a 6/10 who won't leave me alone
Escalating would be a disaster
I swear if all of the fucking posts basically just stated this, the forum would be golden. Excellently put. If you cannot walk away, congratulate yourself for being a bitch, and getting that much closer to realizing you're nothing special and need to continue to work on yourself more before venturing out.
Exactly. You even have the choice of walking away from your kids to prevent the situation from exploding.
Fuck it. I lied. Its drum and base. What you gonna do.
Do you have a text transcript?
LOL. Pendulum crew inside the ride. Boh.
I agree with everything here. it's hard to have abundance mentality at times. I'm wondering lately how much abundance has to do with location. I'm in perth australia. feels like there's ten dicks for every one vagina. I've been to Europe and experienced the flip side where woman truly are abundant. I can't beleive how good they have it. here in perth exciting events are few and far between and woman with substance and character are fucking few. is that just a weak excuse though? women really treat men like shit in my city it seems
The reason this works is because YOU are in demand....Think about it....what percentage of men have alpha traits and make enough money to support a family?
(applause)
I could not agree more. But I would add a small bit of advice.
There is a piece of advice about not going shopping when you are hungry and frankly it is good advice. And I think the same should be said for the "WHY" and reasoning of walking away or "nexting".
you have to sit down with no outside factor and decide what you will and will not tolerate from a date, a spouse, a friend, basically everyone. What is a deal breaker for you with these people? heck, what is a non-starter?
Write it down. seriously, write it down. Are you willing to be stood up? lied to? if it is just some tart on the side that you give the pickle tickle when you have reached 10 days with no sex? if she slept with another guy ... she off the table ... or do you care since she is just a "parachute vagina"?
make these rules. I personally share my rules a little bit with the people around me. It shows you have standards and it tells them that you have expectations of respect. and frankly, if they can't understand standards or respect, well ... they've already told you enough.
Hahaha I remember ghosting this social media addict chick. She desperately tried getting my attention back by flirting with other guys, watching her ego go down the drain was amazing.
You left me no choice: Ladies and gentlemen, Bing Crosby.
Always kickem when thier down women love this type of behaviour it keeps her in victim mode plus its who they really are on the inside which draws them to badboys and serial killers.
I really hate these titles, theres actually a more powerfull tool men have.
Game is important, but big biceps are importanter
Our dick .. can it make lesbians straight though ?
Dick is kind of right.
Anyway do you need to make lesbians straight and why care about people who chose an alternative to the traditional family unit?
nah . was just joking . .. though I am curious too .. can a good dicking make a dyke straight ? - food for thought .