My inbox has been flooded, royally flooded by messages from depressed and worried guys in their teens and early 20s. Instead of going one by one to reply to that many messages, I decided to make this post.
I hope that endorsed contributors on here make some posts geared towards younger men as well.
A happy youth: The biggest blue pill lie no one talks about.
Consume any form of media or read most modern works, they'll have you thinking that life from the ages of 16-22 involves a lot of partying, socializing, making a lot of friends, having a lot of sex, and just overall having that carefree fun lifestyle. So many times they tell you these are the years to enjoy life before it becomes filled with work, responsibilities, and "gets serious".
The blue pill lie of a happy youth, one that is aggressively pushed by media as well as society. A phrase they love to say "best 4 years of your life" to describe both high school and college, either one of those, whatever they're both better than what comes after according to society.
The happy youth, for the most part, is reserved for hot girls and for guys from wealthier families.
Wealthier meaning the guys whose parents can afford to send them to college, pay for everything (including the all important Greek Life dues and spring breaks), and the ones who spent their childhood and adolescence in the middle class (at the very least) suburbs or wealthier areas of a place thanks to their family's fortune.
Ever notice how a lot of the movies depicting the stereotypical high school experience with the cliques and popularity contests seem to take place in the same types of high schools? Mostly suburban and white, never really the working class or poor high schools.
All of the "high school experience" and "college experience" narratives apply to guys and girls from that kind of a background. I even noticed it back in my college days as the suburban kids with rich parents partied hard and lived "the college experience" while the kids from working class backgrounds worked through college to pay for it and were never really involved in that scene, for them college was grades and getting a job.
They don't ever mention this, all of the "fun experiences" that they promote in your youth cost a lot of money, in this case your parents' money.
Fancy vacation with your friends? Costs money!
Greek Life? Dues are very expensive!
Spring break? Not cheap!
All of this "high school experience" and "college experience" they pedestalize, it is mostly a rich kid's privilege. Now obviously I'll get the story from guys here of people who grew up poor but managed to have such a great college experience anyways but that is the exception to the norm and generally rare, at least in the USA.
If you are a poor kid or someone not rich and trying to improve your life, you're not going to try and stay in touch with a lot of your friends from the past as most will try to drag you down or envy your success.
That's the worst part of it, feeling left out, knowing that a certain group of kids are having the life you want to have but they won't let you have it.
You're at the mercy of your parents, for the most part.
People will claim that it is not true after high school but for most, it does carry over on to college and can help you. A lot of the brothers in my house had their parents paying for their dues and their spring breaks, this is common in Greek Life, other kids were not so lucky.
If you had cool parents that did their job right, were wealthy, and put you in the best circumstances growing up (good high school, good neighborhood, paid for your college, let you decide your own path when you got there, and let you grow), then your youth should be amazing. If you weren't so fortunate, then you're mostly SOL.
I have known guys who had to deal with overbearing helicopter parents, abusive parents, and parents that purposefully set them up to fail. Some of these guys ended up moving back home after college where they were going through hell before finally breaking free and experiencing life. All of these guys had unhappy youths and spent their teens as well as a good part of their 20s breaking free to where they could become independent.
I know life is unfair but it's okay, there is a blessing in this.
That anger and hunger from missing out, you're one of the many guys feeling it. You will work hard, I am sure you will. Many of you are blessed to have this sub and you will no doubt be aware of the dangers society presents.
Best of all, you will keep on improving and pushing to be great while a good number of the privileged kids get jaded. While a lot of them marry by the age of 25, your life will really begin and you might be with a different woman every weekend. You will remember this pain, this hell, and you will keep on pushing to be great.
I won't promise that you'll rival some guy in a top tier frat at a top 10 party school but it will definitely get better for you as you keep developing yourself and truck through these circumstances.
Many of the spoiled kids will run away from the age of 25, knowing it's all hell from that point on, you will welcome the age of 25 with open arms.
The struggles you faced due to the deck life has handed you, if you truly grow from them, will make you better equip to deal with what comes when you hit the real world.
The spoiled kids who had it all handed to them, they will cry about how terrible life is after college, you will find a way to enjoy it because you're good at dealing with difficult situations since you were born in them (in b4 bane reference).
So keep your head up.
Truck through it, keep working, keep pushing, and know that it is normal for life to suck in your teens and early 20s unless you're a hot girl or from a well off family.
This issue would not get to people if they weren't so obsessed with social media. Whether its rich, middle class or working class kids that party a lot from what I've seen most do it just to post on social media. Meaning, I can't tell you how many times I went to college parties where tons of students attended and most weren't even having fun. Just a bunch of standing around and talking to the same people they came with. Taking tons of pictures like they are having fun.
This reminds me when I have traveled with a decent size student group overseas. Everyone is bragging how they love to travel. But after two days being in whatever place after everyone is done taking their pictures and posting them on social media, you can tell they are ready to go. They start complaining about the food, the way people smell, the place being dirty, the natives are racist, waiting in line at bus terminal, too much walking (the biggest complaint), ect...
Same with people that "like to go out." Give em a few hours (if that) then they start complaining about the music being loud, the girls being bitches, the guys being too thirsty, too many douche bags around, "this place aint even poppin, its dead in here," "omg its way too many people in here, lets leave", ect...
But once they get home and post all their pictures online, they are telling everyone on social media how much fun they had and how awesome their lives are despite the fact that they didn't do much for 80% of the time they were there.
I see this all time. Social media is an illusion. A lot of you guys here probably don't even like to party, but just want to keep to yourself and select friends. Nothing wrong with it. But I see many and I mean many people doing things that they don't care for just so they can post it on facebook. Don't even get me started on the Tough Mudder craze. People literally do that stuff just to take pictures so they can show the world how "cool" they are. Notice I said people, since guys do it too.
Personally I don't have an issue with those that like to party (I do myself), but the ones who truly do aren't posting pictures of themselves every time they go out.
So why did I bring this all up? Well this is why people feel left out. They are trying to live up to an image created by those around them, when that image isn't even real themselves. This is why we see women and girls who actually were at one point decent human beings, but because they see all their slutty "friends" whoring around and "getting that experience" causes these girls to want to do the same.
Experiencing something to see if you like it is one thing, to continue to do something just to make yourself into an image you are not to gain attention is just sad and another thing.
I tend to agree with this, I've pretty much taken to only using social media for the purpose of connecting with people who I don't otherwise see on a regular basis, and pretty much only through the messenger app.
The partying crap is true too, the ones taking pictures aren't really having a good time, the people in the background of the picture are the ones actually doing something worth their time. If you're standing around people watching, the reality is, the weirdo dancing like a bird, that you're making fun of internally, is having more fun than you.
well, considering that a party is just a bunch of strangers drinking together, you're not going to have a great party after high school and even then, parties are nothing compared to good clubs.
what gets me are the kids who get mommy and daddy to rent out the whole fucking club for their party. talk about someone who's never going to get to see reality
Or the uniformed first aid element in their element?
Good shit and I agree I don't know if parties were always like this but I am baffled by people who go to clubs or parties and awkwardly stand around . If going to a dark place , listening to music , and kicking back is your idea of a good time Awesome but I found myself in the most bizarre situation last year when I was at a club dancing in a circle of friends and WE were the ones people were staring at as if we were bizarre.
It's almost like people are so conditioned to LOOK like they're having a good time that they actually almost don't know how to actually have a good time .
Can't upvote your comment enough. I experience the same thing when I go to clubs. Just a bunch of people standing around and "people watching", heads buried in phones or women taking endless selfies.
Why they do this? Because they don't really want to be there, but everyone is afraid of having a label of being boring because they feel boring when they are at home looking at facebook all day of their friends "partying."
Sad if you ask me.
I don't know man, sometimes I end up standing around awkwardly because I don't know anybody and I'm too nervous to try and join a group dancing.
That's understandable that's just trying to find where a good spot is in a party . I'm not talking about a club of people in the club alone I'm talking about groups drinking and staring . Also why not join a group dancing ? The worst that could happen is they shoo you away and if so then you move onto the next one . you're just there to have a good time right ?
Social media is the reason why our generation has some of the biggest rates of depression. It fucking sucks to be watching other peoples lives and seeing how much 'fun' (Even though that's a complete lie) all your friends are having. Yet 90% of people do that almost any day.
I saw this interesting talk that compared Social Media with Alcohol and other drugs and says that they have very similar effects when it comes to mindfulness and dopamine
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hER0Qp6QJNU
Yup I'm with you. I truly believe its a drug, but no one wants to admit to it (well causal people).
I mean when you have people spending thousands of dollars to go traveling when they don't really like to travel, but are only doing so just so they can post it on social media, then you have a HUGE problem.
My sister did this in college. Wanted to go to China. This bitch knew nothing about Chinese culture, didn't care to learn a few phrases, and never liked Chinese food.
She went over there, posted all her pictures on IG and then came home bitchin to my mom how miserable she was over there.
She had no interest in China, but she wanted to go just to show everyone how amazing her life is because she "travels the world."
Its sad. So many people do this. If I worked in Marketing or the tourist department, I would love how people eat this stuff up.
From traveling, to partying, to getting married (weddings), to going to comic-con, a lot of people have no real interest in this stuff, but do it just to show off.
So yea man, I'm with you, its pretty much a drug at this point.
Social media especially Snap chat which is the most cancerous is a very bad master but good servant. You can use it to network, business,keep in touch with people...likewise. that's it..period! When you start using social media to compare your life, boost your ego, get your news, etc is becomes a disease. Filters came in to really fuck people up because now anyone can post a picture online and feel beautiful as fuck. One of my sisters friends has the Snap chat disease. She will take upto 40 pictures in two hours in various positions using filters. She herself is probably a 5 on a good day. If you look at her snap chat you would think she is an 8 with an active life. The reality is, she is depressed as fuck.
Watch black mirror episode nosedive where everything in life is based upon the number of likes you get.
Yup, I see this a lot. And just think how much time is wasted on that shit. Not only is she posting snaps, but also looking at everyone else's.
Well said. Been hanging out with 16-18 years olds for the past 5 days and i feel like the upcoming generation just can not stop snap-chatting for a few min. Made me delete a couple social media accounts.
I used to hate people would tell me that HS and college would be the best years of my life because they fucking blew. I'm nearly 30 and having a blast.
To the young guys out there - don't stress. Your time will come
Can confirm. You know who had fun in High school? Denis Reynolds..And he totally peaked.
He hasn't even begun to peak.
He was king of the minions
Its nice to See iasip referenced here, my favourite show right now
What do you do for a living?
Damn, mind elaborating?
I'm a twenty one year old (god, I'm fucking young compared to you guys) and I feel like I'm at a deadend in terms of friendships and relationships. I've spent my waking hours on my goals (med school and the gym) at the detriment to all my acquaintances and social circle (of which I have none). I have a few close friends but as the years go by and as I grow, while I treasure their support and loyalty, it's clear to me that we are no longer on the same playing field (they are struggling to make ends meet when I have most of my shit handled).
I want higher quality friends, and a social circle. It seems like I'm stuck in a perpertual state of monk mode (med school and gym) and I guess I just wanted some reassurance from an older fella about a better life ahead.
When I'm 28, I'll finally be a doc. Hopefully that times is sooner than later.
Get the fuck out of here. Don't listen to this bullshit. If you aren't having your best years in college then it's all the same but college is the only time you are around young pussy and they do t care about your job and other bullshit. After college the women go downhill in the looks department so fast while for some reason they think they are a prize you should worship and have to earn. The truth is that their value is declining everyday. Life after 25 is a life of fucking used up declining girls and single moms. It's a wasteland out there one you hit 30.
I think it's stupid when people say that girls their age are already getting married with kids. Like, who said you had to date your own age? As long as she's 18. Use the half your age +7 rule. I'm 22, so the youngest I can date is 18 at my age. If you're 30, date a 22 year old. I've read stories of guys here on trp who are in their late 30's sleeping with girls in their early 20's.
....Half your age plus 7? Is this middle school?
If you're 20, date 18 year olds. If you're 30, date 18 year olds. If you're 40, date 18 year olds. If you're 50, date 18 year olds. If you want to. Or don't. Who cares?
They turn 18 every day. The only reason to follow an arbitrary rule like that is out of fear of getting judged. If she makes you happy, she makes you happy. Maybe 18, maybe 21, maybe 25.
I think we agree on the idea that you can date whatever age you want, I just hate the idea of imposing arbitrary rules to fit yourself into the social mold.
Yeah I'm 31 and have hooked up with 18-19 year olds. Luckily they're European, and have the maturity of a 25 year old American girl haha
when i get depressed i concentrate on these solid facts:
1- im alive 2- im well fed 3- im clothed 4- ive a roof above my head 5- ive got no illness and all limbs
its a powerful double-edged hamstering.
Thank you. Your bit of wisdom here is helping me get through a really tough day.
Brilliant post. You'll appreciate even the tiniest sweetness after experiencing all the bitterness.
I can relate 100% to this. After a tormenting quarter part of my life, everything now is upswinging. Thanks to the hardwork.
"It is the great north wind that made the Vikings."
Learn to enjoy the suck, work you fucking ass off, then cash it all in for a successful life and to have titties in your face whenever you want.
Just like the harsh continental winter bred Genghis Khan.
I agree with this post. However, the fact our societies setup this way is a Fucking travesty.
Before red pill stuff became so mainstream, approaching and 'manning up' actually worked for me; I tried again about a year ago, and just felt like I was seen right through and I don't even consider trying again, blaming the blatant exposure of pickup art. Otherwise I completely agree with OP, outlooks are formed through personal experiences.
You're doing something wrong. Pretending approaching girls outside of clubs doesn't work any more is some of the more ridiculous hamstering I've seen here.
I've just found less time to. The point wasn't me failing, it was the illustration that the mainstream'd ruins it. Here's a better one: I fancy a lady, she fancy me, the following day we meet up and she's with her gay friend and they want to know why I fancy'd her.
It is very difficult to understand you. Your train of thought jumps around like mad.
i editted the post. try reading the 2nd paragraph onwards as a new post
Still terrible. You don't really address the issue that is being talked about.
What? Bro just meditate, lift, read books and approach girls you find pretty and life will fall into place for the most part, not really complicated.
Seeiously what the fuck... I think im about done with this sub. Its feeling like a gathering of losers the longer time goes on. I used to see posts from guys doing well. Guys who got enough ass to go "oh yeah i fucked her once. i forgot". Not these pencilneck fags struggling to get to a fucking 10 count. Im 25 and I've lost count. I am sub 5'10, not white or asian, and not rich. Im in shape, decently handsome with a eng degree. Hell yeah im bragging. You should hear me in person. I I first came to this sub after one of my plates nexted me before I was done. It was my first time getting dumped and it rattled me. That plate had pressed me for more but i fucked her good and threw in the occasonal dinner. Dodged any tests for commitment pretty easy.
After she dipped out I was still getting consistent no-strings pussy from 1-2 other women and some randoms in between. I actually had my first threesome in the aftermath of being nexted. RP made me realize i had nothing to prove. So this sub helped me recalibrate.
But this sub is about something else now. Its a shame really.
Post the kind of content you want to see.
Whining like a faggot only makes you part of the problem.
Oh im whining? Did you comment that to the beta who thinks picking women up isnt possible anymore? I might complain this subs gone to garbage which it has but at least that's not making excuses. If you want a post I got one your mum and sis can take turns sitting on.
So "he did it fiiiiiiirrrrrrrrst" is your fagballed excuse lmao.
Own your shit, faggot. You're responsible for you, so act like it.
Ok your both pussies does that make you feel better?
It's inevitable. Think about the kind of people who will be attracted by the teachings here. Losers. The people who come here and get their shit together will leave because they have better things to do with their time.
I find it gets harder and harder to read this place. I understand why, but it is also a shame.
yea the number of bitter boys in here is too high. We need to do some sort of goodwill campaign for women. I have a mother sisters and cousins who i dont think are perfect but they also dont need to be referred to as literal scum. I love women. RP should be about loving women. not to be confused with pedestalizing them.
i'm from the sewer class of society, but i went to private school and college on scholarship. it was a very hard time. i tried my best to blend in, but ultimately, it cost me so much more to have fun, while middle class and upper class folks basically party with parent-subsidized or funded fun. i think that was my big mistake -- not fully understanding where i am in life and being so desperate to make friends and fit in. good advice. i think being able to get over the "life's not fair" hump is also important because being a poorer man in society, you need to accept that or it will drive you insane.
This brings up this question for me: Do most RPers come from similar economic background? Going through all this bitterness and experience because of not having access to funds and parents who raised us in such a way, caused us to have almost the same experiences with social interactions and women. These experiences cause us to easily relate to RP stories and theories.
I bet those kids in upper middle class and above families are probably not going through the same funk as some of us. (unless they're total trolls).
I'm sure people here are from all walks of life. I'm sure there are some young middle-class, wealthy people who married the wrong woman or their wife married to avoid being an old maid. Because he had "resources." Or there might be the old guy with a trophy wife. The trophy wife is marrying for money but getting some action on the side. Then there are plenty of poor dudes that get plenty of pussy and have a lot of kids albeit with poorer or naive women (in my old town this was very true). I'm amazed how "fertile" the high school I would have gone to if I hadn't caught a scholarship to private school was. I think it boils down to leverage in romantic relations. And generally, if you're a poorer man, you lose a lot of leverage. But that could apply to anyone clueless with women, short, ugly, nerdy, involuntary celibate, extremely big, a stutter, too young, no job, not good enough a job, etc IMO.
Damn very similar experience
I go through stages where I'm bitter, motivated, etc..., but now I accept it as is.
In the long run we all journeys and stress and lessons to learn. Some have advantages and roadmap s while others pioneer.
In a few months I'll make more money than what I was raised on. I can focus on career and business and self improvement bc my needs r low and motivation high. While the first part sucks, it's people like us who forge their own paths
good stuff man. self-made men deserve all the respect in the world. i am trying to forge that path too. in the middle of the beginning stages, but i too am motivated. looking forward to the day i reflect and see all that i've built for myself. my friend also tells me that the people i look up to have had a shit ton of help along the way and that i shouldn't compare myself to them. really unfair to myself that wya.
Thanks, can't lie man the past few years/college has been a roller coaster. One on end, Made a lot of intellectual and career progress and felt like I "handled business", on the other end I was kind of disillusioned with how SMV operates in real world. Also had a lot of family bullshit that I didn't have any mentors to guide me thru . I simultaneously feel regret but also pride in what I accomplished and who I connected with .
And I feel u on looking up to friends. One thing I give my self credit for is I don't hate all Rich people, some of my friends who are well off are some of the hardest working and good people I know. That being said, i had to learn what and what not to compare myself with (ie growing up w/o a dad will leave a lot to be learned vs having successful male in household ).
On the other end, u can't have self pity. The "market" doesn't care , the code doesn't care how much money u come from. Recognizing unfairness and making excuses r separate things and I'm learning that divide every day
If you come from an impoverished or low middle class family and you have 'fun' in middle and highschool the rest of your life is devoted to minimum wage work or seasonal construction work.
What about poorer redneck types? My 16 to 25 years were predominantly preoccupied with relatively carefree fucking around, that wasn't overly expensive. Hanging out at the beach, getting stoned on mountainsides, warehouse parties. All pretty cheap, and with a fun bunch of guys and girls.
You don't have to be rich to make out with the chick you met working the drivethru at McDonald's.
I hear what you're saying , but if you're in the lower socio-economic ladder its hard to do this while setting yourself up for success later in life. I've got a few friends that partied hard in college (mali, drinking, women, etc) and years later it's interesting to see who became a line cook and who inherited their father's company. Neither studied worth shit.
I know a lot of people/some friends like this and they're very comfortable where they're at. They have no desire to move far away from their home town or do something big and that's perfectly fine and their choice. They accumulated notch counts and had a wild time. They're happy. But they costs means they didn't use this time to improve (if they wanted to). And most don't. So it works out.
Blessed be the meek, or in this case Chads. Being a redneck would be great; the long-term prospects aren't great but in the words of Keynes, we're all dead anyway.
This post hits me hard.
The most popular dudes at my college with the best social circles are the ones with loads of stories of drugs and women. They can eat wherever they want because they can afford to. I don't even have a car.
To he who had, more is given, to him who has none, even that which he doesn't have is taken away-The guys with the stories go on more trips and do more crazy shit and come up with more stories,
I'm invisible to all the women at my school. This is the torment quarter of my life.
With the exception of male models, all men are invisible to women. They have to be this way, especially the attractive ones. It's not something to take personally or feel bad about. They get hit on at least 10 times a day if not more by all kinds of creeps obviously wanting one thing.
Source: attractive female relatives
This post really hits home for me. I've come to accept the fact that my best years are going to be ahead of college. My parents raised me to be super bluepilled - prioritizing good grades over socializing and sports really screwed me up growing up. I never learned the value of lifting or how to be a social person. Doesn't help that I wasn't born a model, either.
It's going to take time for me to sculpt myself into the alpha I want to become in my later years.
When I was 20, I assume 30 was the end of the peak years, I guarantee you this ins't the case. We even have widowed, divorced men in their 60s, spinning plates, and having the best time ever over at MRP.
your best years are the ones you make for yourself. One of the benefits of being a man. Girls let life happen to them, and thus, life gives them a schedule of their best years. men have to take what they want from life, and your best years are the ones you worked hardest and smartest to have.
That's an interesting viewpoint.
The alternative is burn out at 30, spend the next 70 years crying like Al Bundy on the couch, talking about your 3 touchdowns in a single game.
fuck that
Or...you could go Fight club & burn down the establishment & revolt against societal norms starting a revolution against a broken system.
What is this, if not a fight club in the basement?
What is all detraction, but a fear of project mayhem?
Bit lofty, but my thoughts. Revolution gives opportunistic psychopaths a chance to have power. I prefer the idea of apes in tribes.
the alpha ape is pysically bigger, stronger. beta apes will never beat him.
go off, make another tribe, then your body naturally becomes the AMOG. Women love nothing more than access to masculine spaces, I'm thinking this is why. that new tribe becomes big and strong, and others latch onto it... Gamer girls essentially, and they will always find their niche to gain access to.
there's already enough RP women, they lurk here constantly, cannot stop talking about it. they made TBP, PPD, and RPwi. even the haters are hooked on everything we do.
scarcity implies revolution, since theres only one set of resources, so it's 0 sum on who gets them. We are in a world of abundance.
Don't like news? go make your own news
don't like being told how to man? Go be a men with other men instead.
Vox Day talks about it, and it was why gamergate was the watershed moment. It's when guys realized, we don't have to defer to authorities that don't offer us anything, we can make out own.
Or like trump says, once you're popular, they let you grab em by the pussy, and they like it!.
I don't think competition is a substitute for "untilting" because the "competitions" still titled. Though arguably it doesn't even seem competitive because these types of things usually have a code of conduct, rule based, honor system, which an unfair uncaring society does not. That being said on the point of "post-scarcity" society. I would disagree as well because when you create a system inherently based on inequities that drives a "Race-to-the-bottom" Tragedy of the Commons as they're otherwise known as. This causes tribalistic social status to act in lieu altruistic cooperative behaviors because even if there wasn't scarcity; which I'd argue there is, monopolies serve ones interest in a society that perceives gain & benefit as "zero-sum".
(PS I created a theory on this about a year & a halve ago if you want factual statistical support for the assertions)
It's basically the worst scenario of a Marxism diagnosis, Game-theory irrational agents & a Nietzschean failed culture combined.
shut the fuck up and go outside
I'm not the gamer with the graphic-tee "I ROLL TWENTIES". Just because I'm educated doesn't mean I'm not active.
this is a succinct summary of man's SMV and what it means to make it happen.
Exact same for me. My parents didn't encourage me to go out or take part in any activities or hobbies or whatnot. It was all about just studying and getting a job that earns me lots of money. Women? My mum said she wouldn't let me meet women until I was 30 (yes, she said that). This in turn caused me to grow up completely socially awkward and unaware. No hobbies, no relationships, no social skills, low self-esteem and social anxiety.
I turned 24 recently and only just accepted the fact that my path in life will be different from my friends who have successfully graduated university, working at a good job and are in relationships. It is up to me now to make my life more interesting and fulfilled, even if that means doing things "unconventionally".
Let's both work hard to sculpt ourselves into the best we can be, my friend.
Let us all work hard and sculpt ourselves into the best we can be, my friend.*
Try growing up a mormon lol. I wasn't allowed to even hang out with kids outside of the church, and in the church everyone was uptight and lame anyway. I had ZERO social skills until I was 18 and ghosted out of the church then befriended a hot girl who got me a job working a restaraunt server where I was forced to get good with people.
You and I lived fairly similar lives. I was raised by conservative Indian immigrants who came to live in America, but did not want to assimilate the culture. That meant I wasn't allowed to hang out with people who weren't Indian. And guess what? There weren't any Indian kids in my school, so you can figure out how that went.And that rule followed all the way through high school.
Only social interactions I had with kids my age (outside school) were with Indian family friends who lived an hour away. Even then, we would meet once a month or so. Luckily, I got a job in retail when I was in HS, so I have decent social skills.
However, I'm now a junior in college, and I'm still struggling to make friends (or how to get meaningful friendships). I guess I'm just taking the opportunity to go into monk mode.
Not mormon, but SDA was limiting to say the least so I feel you bro.
yeah just dont put it off. Start getting fit and lifting now. It only gets harder to put on the muscle and keep it later.
We live in The 21st Century. You don't need to be rich to have fun.
Ride the bus and trains around your city, meet new people, form your own little cliques, have your own little adventures. The internet has warped the minds of people and now they think getting drunk at some party is a valuable experience. It isn't.
There is a whole world out there in your own back yard, where crazy adventures are meant to be found. You just have to look.
Exactly. You need to be rich to have others provide fun for you.
all money is, for the sake of fun, is paying people for their effort in providing fun for you.
yes you do
at least to have quality fun that is
That makes no sense.
Traveling around the city with your friends, causing mayhem and destruction, meeting members of the mafia, filming pornos with teenage girls, seducing married women, etc.
You don't need to be rich to do any of that.
I hope you don't become a life coach.
I have an exciting life. Imagine growing up with the Tony Sopranos of the world. So much fun, so much danger, so much excitement. That was my family. My grandfather was a convicted murderer, killed a guy who wouldn't pay his debt. My uncle was a hitman (R.I.P.) who leeched off of high class women for cash. My brother-in-law? Killed because he didn't pay his debt. And the list goes on.
My first sexual experience? I was 5 years old with a girl twice my age. My second sexual experience? I was 10. I was rimming girls when I was 11.
My life was basically a movie that no one from sheltered suburbia would ever believe.
I'd agree with this but I've found that people at university who have genuinely limited funds (i.e, not the people who spend £100 each weekend on alcohol/clubbing and then complain about how "skint" they are), do have a bit of trouble managing to engage on the same level with students who do have parental backing.
I find myself having to socialise more with people who have come from at least a little bit of money solely because those are the people who will actually come out when you invite them, even if it's going to be a VERY cheap night.
I've had people turn down a night out because they literally didn't have the money to get a bus into town that day, it's those people who are missing out. But at the same time, If I was in that situation, I would bite the bullet and accept the fact that I'd have to walk an hour and a half into the city, only drink water and crash at a friends place for the evening.
Yeah my parents are wealthy and I'm fortunate to get to go out and party with my friends, drink, and meet some women. This only has gone so far for me and relied upon connections I have slowly made in and out of class. I still have to work now as well, and I am looking forward to complete independence and developing on my own after 25. I wasn't allowed to join Greek life by my parents, but I know if I was things definitely would have come easier.
Kids I know with parents that let them do what they want see some serious benefits. A friend of mine had a rich dad and was able to smoke and drink openly at home in high school. While a successful student and now at a top private university, because he was given free reign he constantly held parties at his place and commanded a couple of different social circles. Gave him a big upper hand.
i sometimes wonder if the parents let their kids have free reign and host parties and buy them nice cars maybe because the parents themselves studied and worked all their lives and then feel regret over not enjoying their youth. i have many friends like this.
Exactly, 18-24 was stressful and blew. Forced myself through school. None of that whole early 20s party life. Lived at home and felt like a looser.
Now im 25 with a 6 figure job and living in my own house. Aside from my debt load, shits good.
How awesome is your life brother? Share your success story!
not your house yet if you have debt bro
I'm 18 years old and I've realized this by myself with time, it's simply impossible to have such a life at that age without your parents giving you endless amounts of money.
However I do realize too, even if it's harder it actually makes it all that much interesting and worthwhile. Good post.
I think it's all relative, I mean sure I come from a well off family but from the moment I left the house I haven't received anything monetary from them, as they hold the policy that learning to take care of yourself financially will result in having a better life (which I agree with). However, I was able to secure myself a summer job that pays ~30,000 per summer, which means that I'm able to enjoy my college years without getting money from my parents for it. Am I rich? No, I work constantly to afford everything and save up money for emergencies and/or eventually getting a real place to live that's not an apartment. But I can still have fun, just because I don't have shitloads of money to throw around doesn't mean I have to be depressed about this piece of my life.
Still on that blue pill, I see.
That guy is talking about a job that pays $30k per summer? Why is he even going to school.
Because sadly that is only a summer job, and I'm hoping to make it in the film industry. I have bigger plans in my life than summer jobs.
Why not work your summer job year round and make $100k+?
Seriously this. Even if the job is only open during the summer holy shit that's a lot of money for not quite 3 months of work. I wouldn't need any financial assistance from anyone/thing if my summer internships paid that much.
I can't, I would love to but it is legitimately only a summer job, runs for just under 4 months then it's over. There are other branches I can work for the rest of the year (and I do) but they pay far less, just about $14/hour, still good for college, but not nearly as impressive as the summer portion.
Uhm, I'm living with my parents and am 18 years old. The only money I get from them is maybe to buy groceries and I don't have a life that sucks. Neither am I hot nor is my family rich or whatever you want to call it.
Read the post again as you seem to have missed the point.
I don't think the post literally meant that your life sucks, just in comparison to them's if you actually care about spring break and all that nonsense. I also live with my parents, they pay for college but don't give me any money otherwise. I'm looking for a job not so much to get money but to get experience.
I find it interesting that there is only downvotes where there should be discussion. Unless the mindset is "they disagree! downvote!"
At 18 I was covering my own rent, paying for my own groceries, and paying for college. You're pampered.
Then it's you being retarded and not him being pampered you stupid fuck
How often does that attitude get your jaw unhinged?
Do you cry often about people on the internet?
Uhm, no. We're pretty normal to be honest. But I never really had anything to buy. If I had money I'd either go out and buy some pizza, drugs or rarely new clothes/shoes. I was never in a rush of having too less money.
Edit: Btw I'm still studying. If you had other plans with 18 that's your choice.
Normal as compared to what? All the other kids in your upper middle class neighborhood?
Uhm, no. Stfu with your whining ass. I didn't even read your shit but your gratuitous use of the phrase "UHM" tells me all I need to know.
You're the one who's whining but that's none of my business, sir.
I wish I heeded this advice when I was younger.
In high school, I always felt ashamed when I wasn't going out or hooking up with girls. All I was doing was playing video games.
However, the reality was that only 2 or 3 guys out of the 300 guys in my high school class were getting hot girls (and even of those 2 or 3 guys, they went complete beta mode on their girls who weren't even worthy of a boyfriend), yet because guys in relationships with girls and people going out were all I saw on facebook, I compared my life to theirs and thought my life was crappy.
Hell, even most of the girls weren't living it up, yet because the 20 or so most popular girls shared their adventures on social media, it made me feel inadequate.
So I went to college. I tried living it up, pushing my comfort zone, and actually went to quite a lot of parties. I was inspired by all the movies of crazy parties like Project X and songs like "I love college." But after experiencing it, I didn't enjoy it.
I made a ton of 'friends,' but one thing I learned is that it's impossible to have a deep bond with about 95% of the people you meet due to incompatibility or lack of chemistry. That's just life, and that's a good thing too. If you had chemistry and bonded with every single person you met, then that would be too many people to manage.
The huge college parties were overrated, uncomfortable, and just not that fun.
I have always preferred having a small group of friends and just having a small get-together.
And working towards the end goal of improving yourself, getting a job, getting your own place, and having more freedom after the youth stage is always worth it (plus you're still youthful at 25ish)
Also, all the spoiled kids I knew peaked out in their lives. What happened to the popular, spoiled kids in middle school I envied? Not doing too shabby now. Same for the spoiled kids who lived it up in high school and college.
Actually, it's kind of a curse being spoiled because you take what you have for granted and you don't push yourself further. So don't envy them. Understand what's really going on.
edit: It seems that a lot of people disagree on whether or not Chads live life to the fullest after graduation.
I really don't want that topic to be the focus on this conversation; it's simply a side comment I made based on MY experiences, and of course, your experiences may differ from mine.
Here is the main point I wanted to focus on: don't envy the Chad lifestyle and don't let it make you feel like you're missing out.
I've lived it, and like I said earlier, it's not all it's portrayed to be. Most of these people you have no chemistry with, and often times the environments themselves just aren't enjoyable.
I've chilled with these people, and often times, the conversations are vapid, all the "bros" who hang out together don't really seem to click or look like they're having fun together, etc.
After experiencing reality, I can never get jealous of these people after spending time with them. I have much more fun shooting the shit with one of my nerdy friends than going out for a night with 5 popular bro dudes who don't seem to click with each other, which just makes things awkward.
But hey, if you like that lifestyle, then more power to you. In my experience, only a minority of people truly enjoy it. It's just not for most people so there's no need to envy it if it isn't for you.
This dream that all the Chads you all were envious of peak in high school and college is just that. A dream.
What the fuck is it with TRP and these feel good bull shit posts?
Yeah, this post is horseshit. These people that have their college paid for by their parents will often times be more successful than you are just because they have plenty of their parents money to blow wherever they want. They can often go to any college they want. Hell, just getting accepted to a prestigious college is the hardest part for them, and paying for it is no problem. This has nothing to do with work ethic as they probably play sports, and have a job so they can buy fun stuff while they're going to college on mom and dad's money. Just because you had to pay for your school doesn't mean that these guys don't work just as hard.
A lot of the wealthy kids we're talking about here end up successful because of what you said, they have their parents money to burn.
More importantly their parents have plenty of connections, especially if they're in the upper sociology economic class.
If you're not from one of these families that's how it is. It just means you have to work twice as hard. That makes it more interesting.
Seriously.
9 out of 10 of the most popular/attractive dudes from my high school are doing even better for themselves now.
Not even going to lie. They're popular for a reason. Often times the kids with wealthy parents are attractive. Not sure why, but that's how it often is. Many of them despite their parents paying for their college DO have a job, and DO play sports, and participate in many extra curricular activities. If you want to do well later in life the best thing you can do is a sport in high school. Even if you're not good at sports often times the teams will accept you for who you are. Whether you're team captain or you barely make varsity your senior year.
I'm speaking from my experience, so it's not a dream. I actually used to think the Chads would go on to live life to the max even after high school/college, so I was surprised to see when they did peak/plateau.
Then again, these are simply my experiences, so it may be different for everyone else.
Many of the "Chads" I know are working as bartenders, busboys, are unemployed, or are making shit pay. A couple of them went to bullshit universities like Devry and the academy of arts. It's also not surprising that they've peaked as they were partying or slacking off 24/7 in college whilst pursuing a shit degree. Only one of the Chads I know is doing well for himself financially.
If I go by their social media, they're not living up life as much as they were in college/high school.
In contrast, my other friends who weren't popular got jobs with starting pay anywhere from 80k to 6 figures with their STEM degrees, which gives them the ability to travel, have their own place, and generally have more freedom. Of course, not all of them are taking advantage of the lifestyle that's afforded by the freedom and money they have, but some of them do.
Not a single Chad I know of, other than one, is balling in the financial department, so this really limits what they can do in life.
Do keep in mind though that I grew up in an area where people were generally poor/middle class (almost no one had wealthy parents), which means people couldn't just get easy connections through daddy or wealth, so your experiences could be different from mine.
Hmmm 6 figures starting? Are you talking Silicon Valley?
Yeah whatever dude. This is still all feel good bull shit about the chads you knew sucking now. I can promise you, this is not reality
I myself grew up poor and I can agree and resonate with this post. However as someone in college, I believe that this issue cuts both ways. I definitely have gone through times where I hated and resented people who had life with ease, which is kinda like how a lot of guys (myself included) go through a phase of resenting women for their sexual strategy. It's misplaced anger and I think that as long as you have discipline in life and are secure in your direction, you don't have to go worrying about the choices of other people. People are people influenced by their backgrounds and they can't run away from who they are, so it's important, at least for me, to drop pretenses I have of kids wealthier than me because I know if I were in that situation I wouldn't have the same need for discipline too.
Words can't express how fucking accurate this whole post was
it got a lot of upvotes for a reason :P
despite the protests
As a young guy, there's this conception that "your time will come much later". The thing is, I don't know if there will even be a time. I am missing out and it seems it will always be that way. I told myself out of highschool, I'll achieve higher but I'm at the exact same place. I feel trapped.
as a young older guy (35ish) the struggle of missing out feels more like a bad illusion than something else. I used to feel trapped, but it becomes home, and from that point on, you're no longer trapped... just sit in the hustle. Become the Hustle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3lsJmwNO40
Move to a big city after college.
It was all about just studying and getting a job in retail when I was loyal, we eventually broke up because she cheated.
29m here. my high school years sucked (ugly, introverted, shy, broke). things are only beginning to "turn up" for me. my "social popularity" only started around 22 (took me 4 years to finally come out of my introverted shell in college) and my financial success only started around 27. although my looks are fading (i peaked at about an 8 for a few years between 22-26), i have a feeling i will be in a happy medium and have exponential life success in my 30s.
health, wealth, and personality. the trifecta. you don't need to be great in all, but a bit of each goes a loooong way.
Having a shitty upbringing is the norm IMO
I bet I'll put mine up against another guy, and it'll look worse than most, better than many. The FemI that ruins the experience is the one where mothers treat their sons like women, vent all their frustrations, etc.
Even my borderline abusive step-father had many red pill lessons for me. But because the women in my life had me hate it all, I threw out the baby with the bathwater, and assumed it was all garbage. So, all those behaviours that turn them on, you became the defacto orbiter male, and listened to her vent. But you're just a kid, you believe it all at face value, you don't know any better.
And he didn't know any better either. his dad used to beat the shit out of him, and only told him to be the plow horse for life. He bought into the same lie that all BP men did, and when there was nothing for him at the end of that tunnel, of course he had no positive way to be masculine, all he knew was to lash out at a worldview that simply wanted another work horse.
You promise to never treat women badly, not like that guy. you do all the things all the girls told you growing up you should do. And if you were lucky, you figured out it was largely bullshit, or you came here, and had other guys give you a roadmap
Sounds familiar to TBP bitching about TRP eh? self improvement, but such hate etc.
I would argue that, like OP says, you should have a shitty childhood. Nothing makes you want to get out and make your fortune like a house that you cannot wait to leave. Just a single generation ago, it was normal for guys to have moved out and be on their own at 17/18... do modern guys even think of it as an option? If it werent for suffering, men wouldn't do shit, they would lay around, eat caveman chips, and jerk off.
this is mostly true. upper middle class (or higher) will get you a totally different school experience
part of that different experience is material advantage, but part of it is cultural/learned. the learned part is something to pay attention to, because you can learn from it
some cultural aspects that upper middle class does better for themselves:
there's also some negatives in there. like, they often get anxiety over not working hard enough, or some of them do get apathetic and start coasting if they have too easy a time in high school. there's also a tendency to focus on material possessions, which can go into pretty beta territory. some guys get all the advantaged and don't fall into any of those traps, though
they learn these mindsets from a young age. their parents put have these habits, and they put them in a bunch of activities. poor kids get a TV and a shitty 15 year old babystitter instead. you have to start now, so you have some catching up to do, but even small steps can improve your life significantly
True, no money, no car or shitty car, and poor friends and you'd be banging hood rats at most. I had an awesome car when I was 17, was at the best college in my country BUT I was still in a LDR with my gf of 3-4 years. We were 3 hours away, i visited on the weekends. I missed A LOT of AAA prime pussy because I was loyal, we eventually broke up because she cheated. Lots of wasted opportunities. Same thing happened again but for a longer period, I so regret having a LTR, AWALT. Don't make the same mistakes I did.
Crazy how you can hold up your end opf the bargin and she can't. Damn just keep your legs closed. You were seeing her on weekends so it wasn't like you were that far away. Even when girls live close by that I dated, I only saw them like once a week. Cant and never will trust em
Imo the only reason our younger years we suck is because we long for shit that we dont have. I realized I was doing that at 20 and my life has been great ever since.
Good post but I don't agree with this "they'll suffer and you'll come out on top" bp fantasy. That's like bp guys thinking "yeah this hot chick humiliated me but she sure will regret it after she hits the wall" - it's simply never going to happen.
I did say this in my post as well:
Call it bullshit. So often here I see generalization treated as rule. In the title should not be "are supposed to suck", but rather "it's not exception that's your life sucks".
I grow up in poor family in communist country, and my life didn't sucked. Sure as every health person I got some ups and downs, but still wouldn't call it "sucked".
I never was on fancy vacation, but I spent a lot of time at my grandparents place where I and my cousins were unstoppable wild bunch going for neighbors apples, and pears, swimming in the stream, fishing in the industrial pond and being chasing for that. We were building our snow forts, making our own ice slides etc. I am ginger what for now (you look like fucking Viking bro) seems to be not a problem, but when you are kid it's very common to be marked as ginger that no one should trust. But I switch it when I came up with the nick name "Goldie", and from now I wasn't Ginger any more I was a Golden one.
When I was 15 I became punk and started to hang out with people that I choose (not kids from school that were pre chosen for me). People who didn't look on how much money do you have, but they looked for what you can bring to group as a person. I've beed in few bands (even if never went over two or three rehearsals it was still fun).
When I was 20 I hitchhiked through all Europe.
Hey I even manage to meet Miss of the Universe (or World because it's seems to be not the same) and the richest woman in my country (yes sure that was very short, work related, meetings and I'm sure they don't remember that, but still).
I officially represented my own country on EXPO, and few times was on dinner with different ambassadors.
And all of this before I was 24.
And I did it with a lot of people who were in very similar situation to mine, and no one said "hies/her life sucked".
I just didn't complain on quality of my life I just was trying to have as much fun as I could.
So no. Your life not "supposed" to suck. Nobodies life "supposed" to suck. If your life sucks there is a pretty good chance that you suck. Sure there are plenty of really objectively dramatic situations in life, but unless you have roof over your head, and both legs and hands, and don't have to worry what to eat, your life is in your hands, and it's your choice to make it.
Stop looking for others, stop looking where other went for vacation, stop looking what other people wear, or have, or do. Start looking for what you can get, what you can do, where you can go, who you can meet.
And funny story: I had a very hot girlfriend and her parents were (are) wealthy, and when I found out about her life I found out what does it mean "life sucks" (abusive father who beat her mother), and no wealth or hotness can protect you from fist of the father.
So if your life sucks ask yourself: is there any way I can change it? Because there are two kinds of people those who search for reason and those who search for resolutions.
But will agree with one thing: if your schools times are the best time of your life it means that you made some mistake after the school and it's a high time to change something in your life.
My post was geared towards Americans.
I can vouch for this. I know I'm late to the party but I need to vent a little. My high school career was depressing, I was a nerdy outcast that was too shy to even dare talk to girls.
I was a pretty late bloomer, didn't lose my virginity until my first year of university, mostly because I started dressing well and actually talking to people. Quickly started dating a girl. Life was okay for about a year, but she was a huge slut and liked to gaslight me about it. It fucked me up mentally pretty bad, had to go on some meds for a bit.
Then I found TRP. Since then I've been hitting the gym 4 times a week, working a part time job, doing volunteer work in a lab on campus, and have maintained a full 5 credit course load. Now, I know the work I'm putting in will pay off, lifting specifically has already improved my life in ways I couldn't have imagined, but I am fucking miserable. I'm 22, in the final stretch of finishing university, and I just can't wait for it to end. I have a job lined up, I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I haven't been truly happy or at ease for at least 3 years now. If anyone should read this and is having a similar experience, just know I'm rooting for you. It's not going to be easy, but you will be rewarded for your efforts.
I'm turning 22 this year as well and I envy you. You took the hard road while I took the easy route and I'm still one hell of a mediocre guy now. You made the right choice though, I didn't.
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a hot blind white girl. Then maybe I'll know what it is to be privileged.
Edit: blonde but I guess the intention still stands.
One of the most self-defeating mistake underprivileged youngsters make, is fixating and going after the hot blonde upper-middle class cheerleader. These girls are mating upwards. The chance that they will fall for the less-than-Greek-God lower-class guy is so abysmally small, that should be considered exactly zero. Train yourself to not even look at these girls.
In fact, all girls are mating upwards. That's why, until you become a hot-shot, you should arrange your sex life in a way that is adequate and rewarding. This means fucking down. Fucking down is your staple, and the off-middle class chick that falls for you is your rare splurge.
So, if you are not noticing the blazing hot young cleaning lady, because she is an immigrant and possibly wearing a uniform, you are being an idiot. Why put 100x the effort for the physically inferior middle class chick, when the (dubious) sex you'll get from her will be of inferior quality?
Separate your taking care of your sexual needs from satisfying your ego, and solutions reveal themselves to you.
This is just as pathetic as race whining comments. I have seen hot blonde types go for all kinds of guys, from nerdy Asians to aesthetic chads. My advice is, be ambitious and bold but work on how you are perceived. People can bash popularity games all they want but they are a big part of life when you are young and a big part of it as you get older.
As a white guy, I prefer white girls exclusively, so I'll go for them if I want even though women from minority groups do aggressively approach me.
Man, you perfectly described my life. I came from working class rural America and went to university at a big party school. Although I had some good times and hooked up with a decent amount of girls, I found myself jealous a lot of the time , mainly over financial things.
Simply put, money dictated what you could and couldn't do, and who you could and couldn't be with or do things with. Hot girls want to be with guys who can afford to do cool shit, live in a nice apartment, and have nice things.
I am an attractive guy but I was beta as fuck during that time. I couldn't figure out why the girls I wanted didn't want to be with me. The truth was I didn't have the right attitude, and I didn't have any money. That's a formula for failure.
Thanks again for sharing.
I'm 19, I had a great childhood, middle school sucked, high school was great, especially after discovering TRP when I was 14-ish, college is pretty swell. Went to a bad high school, currently attending community college, from a working-class family (according to a test given to us by our sociology professor). I'm happy with my life and I think I will always be, so long as I continue to improve it as I have done for years, but I do agree that after finishing my education around age 25: life will once again improve. My career goal is to become a psychopharmacologist, or a pharmacist if that doesn't work out, I study the basics of psychiatry, pharmacology, psychopharmacology, neuropharmacology, and chemistry in my spare time. I'm making more time to work out and eventually attend BJJ class regularly once I have the cardio. I'm not attractive but somehow I've always managed to get my share without much effort, I'm either naturally charismatic, or have internalized RP. Regardless, I derive my happiness from myself, my memories, my friends, lifting, martial arts, and my passion: psychopharmacology. Maybe I'm just permanently hypomanic though. I partied a lot, I still could if I wanted to, thanks to my savings from a well-paying job I obtained through my mentor, but i'd rather save that to further my education.
TL;DR find your passion & career goal and pursue both by any means. Learn as much as possible, as knowledge is its own reward. I might just be hypomanic all the time and very lucky.
Absolutely.
Have this be a great incentive to rally for Social Democratic reforms, so that the next generation won't have this kind of gap.
Can confirm. Am a hot guy from a well off family, pussy lines up for me.
This was ok but then you got into a bit of a just world argument. The reality is that the advantages the rich are given over the poor tend to hold through adulthood too.
Just be glad you were born in the first world at all. Most people are even worse off. There will always be someone who had it easier bit envy and resentment will do you no good.
Plenty of people in third world countries absolutely adore their lives. A lot of first world countries, especially America, have plenty of poverty themselves.
You can have the wealth and still have a bad experience, maybe because your parents weren't around or your influences were not very great.
You could of strove and read as much books as you could and did everything you could but your environment wasn't as good as the person next to you. Don't judge yourself so that it hinders you, continue to move forward and try to enjoy the little things, like having a bed to sleep in.
Once you make money, use it on classes that help you grow as a person, and surround yourself with people that have a common goal (taking a class like spanish or jiu jitsu, plus one for physical).
Start developing a good healthy sense of self esteem based on your own values and principles that you found works, like, start eating healthier so you are not hating life in the afternoons, be consistent in whatever exercise regimen you can do even if it's just walking with an ipod on, or even just say thank you every night when you're about to sleep and are able to.
The biggest problem for me was always opening up, and the biggest changing factor for me was joining a jiu jitsu class. But this was all after I read a lot of books, tried all these body weigh and barbell things by myself, join all these different classes and etc.
Keep going, strive to be the top 1%, keep trying new things. Never become addicted to anything. Learn that suffering and love go hand in hand, and opening up yourself to your fullest expression can be rewarding.
never become dependent to fault, let others depend on you.
Ahh, finding winning on failure, honestly man human are adaptable, I use to walk 8 miles a day to work, and it didn't feel miserable, you know why? Because I didn't compare myself to others.
I know a young man who picked up a PUA book, totally changed his life from never being kissed to getting girls left and right, I could see him growing and refraining his game every day.
In other words he made his life awesome
This post also demonstrates the power of TV. It influences the lens with which we use to view the world at an age where we are easily swayed and rarely skeptical enough to use our critical thinking skills.
Bullshit.
I have read the title and couldn't stop myself from reading your whole post with the little taste of "what is he talking about???"
I must say i disagree with you in most of your matter, in fact I think that you should not trigger younglings easily impressionable minds about "your younger years supposed to suck". - because it is simple not true. Nothing is "supposed to be" anything. Who told this? What is this rule at all?
First of all, you have clearly raised your standard of values about the following point:
"NOT being rich equals sad younghood. BECAUSE MONEY MAKE HAPPINESS"
This is only your point of view. You have declared poor, or middle class families like they have a granted chance that their children will live a hard and miserable life before the age of 25.
I sense envious talk here.
You know I'm from a middle class family, we had no pool parties (and helicopter parties, lol) and abroad trips like teens have in american movies, but we were happy. We did a lot of fun thing together and we did not make a buck we just enjoyed each others company.
You say that "happy youth is the biggest blue pill".
This is crazy crazy talk here. Some of you in this forum become insane with this red or blue pull choice. If this would be true, no one on planet earth would have swallowed red pill before the age of 25. Who the hell not wants happiness? If red pill makes your life better thus happier then your statement is paradox.
Some of you guys here obsessed with this idol of "red pill" instead of getting it's philosophy.
I had a very happy and fun teenage, I had all the things a teenager could have: friends, fights, girlfriends, break ups, large laughs and cries and all the ups and downs that a young man can have. Call me bluepill because I was happy but do not tell your young admirers who contact you in the internet that "your youth supposed to be sucky" because it is simple not true.
One more thing that I should highlight from this, I must say that I'm not from the USA and I do not know how the things are getting there but there are other parts of this world and where I live it does not matter if your families rich or poor. If you do have good grades, there you go, you can go to any university. FREE.
And if you say that a poor child should have to study to get rich take the following:
STUDYING IS NOT "SUCK". It's one of the largest miracle of mankind. Even we are here in this sub are all pupils in the teachings of the red pill course. Also, we live in an age where the ability to study new things is the greatest wealth you can have. And this ability is up to you regardless of your family treasure.
In general I think this post is very very one-sided, superficial, not-considered and groundless. It's came from very deep from you maybe you envious maybe you just angry, whatever everybody have something to curse on, of course me too, its okay. But please:
Do not program our generation's young men that they SUPPOSED TO BE SUCK. Because this thought is entirely wrong.
WTF? This is total BS, it is what you make it hot or not, money or not. Take control of your life and stop being a sad little snowflake.
Blue pill thinking right there.
Money and looks matter!
Ok, wallow in self pity. No skin off my back.
Lol this guy is gold.
My parents were nurses, I didn't realize we had a fortune.
Again, this guy is just peddling rationalizations for upvotes. Summarize his last two TRP posts: "Only rich guys have fun in high school and college." Guess what happens? All the losers of the red pill feel good about their shit lives or pasts because now someone is telling them it wasn't their fault. You weren't wealthy bro, don't worry about it.
This guy is completely full of shit.
You missed the point of this post on so many levels it's laughable.
There's always that one idiot...
I'm sorry you sucked in your early twenties / high school and need someone to tell you it wasn't your fault.
I am sorry you peaked in college and feel the need to throw a temper tantrum on this thread over it.
Aw buddy. My life is only just beginning AND I fucking loved college. Check the post history. I laugh at all these stupid rationalizing life is better after college posts.
On point man, I don't know where this dude got it in his head spring break, vacations and Greek life are the only way to have fun when you're young. There's so much life outside of hook ups and drinking. M
Not when you are young dumbass, most normal guys prefer that over watching porn and playing videogames
So those are the only two options, drink a ton and go fuck around or be a shut in video game addicted virgin? No middle ground exists?
Why are you so butt hurt if people had a good time and fucked chicks while not being rich or in a frat? Is it because you're insecure and know for a fact that you couldn't have had good time or fucked chicks without mom and dads money?
That has to be it. Your entire identity in college was based around your families wealth and your fake friends. When people tell you they did it with real confidence and real friends, not a facade based around factors you couldn't actually control, it shines a real bright light on that insecurity.
Why else would you be so adamant that no one else could possibly have a good time in a different manner than you? That would mean admitting that people don't have to be fake douchebags with daddy's money to kill it. And that bothers you.
I am not butthurt, but okay, you're saying I should have posted a thread saying "if you're young and not having fun, you're missing out, go kill yourself?". Seriously, my thread probably changed a 100 lives and probably stopped some depressed college kid from killing himself.
You can continue to bullshit about how you were a geed that fucked rich sorority girls but people are here to improve their lives and I told them the reality, it gets better for a lot of men after college, even though college is pretty sweet.
Nurses make a lot of money, your family is at least middle class.
This isn't the first time you've thrown a temper tantrum on my thread either and either of us is full of shit, it is probably you.
We get it, you peaked in college and then realized that when you can't pay for friends, you don't get any. I have seen your type in Greek Life all the time. Now you live a shitty post grad life and can't help but comment on posts like this that way too close to home. I can just tell when an issue is really bothering a guy because whenever you bring it up, he throws a fit.
I wasn't in a frat dude. But I did kill it college. Now I'm moving to Europe on an expat assignment, expenses paid. I DJ on the side, or DJd since I'm moving, at one of the most popular clubs in my city. But yeah, I peaked in college.
it probably wasn't a college with hot girls and you still didn't do as well as the rich fraternity brothers, but hey, I guess its normal for a guy kicking ass after college to get worked up over my post /s
Lol there are hot girls in every college. Tunnel vision on you morons. Keep peddling feel good bull shit to all the losers on the red pill. You seem to need validation like a woman.
holy shit this guy is hilarious; I'm sure you didn't have as good a time as you think LOL
It's almost like he's trolling but he's really not. Guy is gold.
Validation is needed by all, whether you like to admit it or not.
Ya sure, you have fun chasing pussy at MIT while I go over to Florida St, talk about some sheltered imbecile, this is insane.
Parents have no money whatsoever and don't give me anything. I've still managed to have a great time in college. Work 30 hours a week waiting tables, joined a fraternity, bought a cheap old Jeep, rented a big ass house with friends for less than the cost of shitty apartment. There's a lot of decisions you can make that don't depend on money.
You must have gone to a commuter school, no way you would have joined my house if you came from a poor family. Once again, your experience is atypical for most from your background and I doubt it was all that great.
Nope, private. I didn't even think commuter schools had fraternities. Had money most of my childhood. Only high school really started to be like that cause my dad was really sick. So yeah, I had to be self sufficient but you'd never know unless I really opened up to you. Basically I made more money working than their parents gave them so I did just fine.
I agree that 16-22 is isn't necessarily going to be the best years of your life, that's definitely an exageration. But to say that you can't have a happy youth if you're not rich is just absolutely fucking ridiculous. I just hope that young people on here won't just believe your words.
You won't have the stereotypically happy youth of parties, hot girls, nice vacations, and that sort of stuff but if you like the simple things in life then maybe your youth will be great.
Eh what, I'm not from a remotely rich family (actually from a dogshit dysfunctional one) , aged 20, and my life is outstanding. Stop with this loser bullshit
Great, you're an exception and not in any way the norm and since my thread got 800+ upvotes, it isn't bullshit.
It is bull shit. TRP is just full of losers that need to be told it's OK they suck and it wasn't their fault. Only rich guys have fun. You're peddling rationalizations because your dick gets hard when you get upvotes, like a narcissistic chick on instagram.
then why the hell do you waste time from your precious life you so desperately hype up to post on here? Let alone get so worked up over the posts.
"Eat shit. Millions flies can't wrong". That's why you life sucks, because you look on other to evaluate yourself.
The assault on popularity, have fun being a loner loser.
It has nothing to do with popularity and he's right, there's no reason why family wealth should matter at our age and most of you are using it as an excuse as to why you suck
It matters, deny it all you want, if you want the stereotypical college experience then it matters.
I'm in college. Better college experience than 99.9% of everyone inc the rich kids. Stop fucking crying
I can also relate to this. I was social conditioned as fuck by my parents. Everyone kept me down. Im 19 now, own my own business, and moved out. But before, it was hell. I come from an extremely poor family and my whole life was shit up until not long ago.
However, All the hardships really formed a character out of me. My patience is unreal. So there is a plus side.
I'm 18 not too much money. I'm trying to do some simple door to door business like window cleaning. What business did you start?
Learn to Fix Iphones. You'll make way more money.
Everyone should be self-aware with your situation in life and not compare your life to other people as everyone has different advantages/disadvantages and idealizing the "life" seen on tv and movies is setting you up for failure.
However, one should be careful to not fall into victim mentality as many have pointed out that there are ways to break the norm and enjoy life on your own terms.
Recent college grad here (3 years out). In the long run, I'm glad I was working class and didn't have anything paid for and had to work full time from ages 18-22 with no vacations or discretionary income etc, because that made me who I am today. I have a great degree, a great job, I'm working on my 3rd career certification, and I'm the most successful person I know. Jeez, I make today what my mom and dad made combined while raising 3 kids. I envied the rich kids, but not so much anymore, because so many of them don't know how to leave the nest.
mm not sure if I agree with this post here. Im not the most attractive guy ever, and my parents make combined 150k or so for three children but I had a wonderful childhood and young youth. Throughout gradeschool I mostly played video games and stayed indoors all day, but I was happy and I dont regret it. College I went out every Friday Saturday and sometimes on Thursday, and hooked up with plenty girls, tried drugs and alcohol, many jobs, gotten into a handful of fights, and had 4 girlfriends during this whole period. Now, at 24, starting off my career, my experiences throughout my youth helped mold who I am.
that's a lot of money for a family, way above national average
It used to be that after you graduated high school you had your freedom but now college and housing is so expensive you don't have any free time to do anything because you need to work to pay the bills.
I don't think too many people get into fitness heavily until later in their life either. If you want to reach peak fitness it can take YEARS of training, and even if you start at the age of 20 or 18 it will be a while longer until you can reap the maximum benefit.
I expected the a year or two from now I'll have finally reached all my fitness goals, and weigh a lean 60 lbs more than when I first started. That's a life changing transformation. I see it pretty often, and I feel it every day already. Fun.
This is what I love about the Red Pill. Not only it preaches to appreciate yourself and put your needs first but it teaches hard work and determination.
My youth was miserable as a result of my lack of confidence, not because of lack of money. I worked shitty jobs and I was tight with my money. I ate cereal for breakfast and dinner. Fortunately my friends were in the same boat so we were ok with drinking at home or even in the woods rather than at bars.
The thing is, your peers are all around you, in school, or working entry level jobs. I was lucky enough to always be able to find at least one close friend because of this. If I wasn't so shy I could have had girlfriends too.
This isn't the case when you get older. Your cohort scatters to the winds and now they need top shelf liquor and organic stuff from Whole Foods, and generally have expectations of a greater level conspicuous consumption.
I think you're right but it applies to extremely rich guys (top 10%) and any above-average girls.
If normal, good-looking young men from well-off families are not assertive and do not work hard enough and push for what they want, their younger and later years will still suck (trust me).
26 and can confirm life is still pretty rough. I learned to believe that once we are stressed is because we are about to make a leap in life. Any advice or book recommendations on day to day stress. Work and relationship?
I think the most important part of enjoying these years are parents who instill good values and put you on the right track. I was raised upper-middle class, my parents could've afforded most luxuries, but my high school and college years were mostly miserable.
I needed someone to teach me the value of fitness, being social and getting involved. Instead I spent most of these years getting high and playing video games. Thankfully I and found this sub and have made solid progress, I think I've even gained a vague understanding of the world, but I wish my parents had made me play sports or join a club or something.
If having a happy youth for a guy means getting lots of strange pussy, then yes few guys experience that. At least to their desired degree in line with the chads of that he bracket. This does however not hotshot to do with money or not having to work for a living. It's fairly straightforward, that women between 13-21 almost only rank males' SMV based on their physicality, I.e. strength, health, swolenes, size and grooming. That's why high school varsity team guys swim in pussy, even if they are beta and bluepill as fuck. You were supposed to have a happy youth. You just didn't because you sucked, when you are younger. If things a better, then it's either a SMV differential thing, or else you simply suck less. Congrats.v
Wrong, family background matters a lot. If you were a broke guy, then chances are she excluded you for the guy from a wealthier family. Chads are usually suburban guys with good looks and rich parents.
Huh I guess me being poor and having tons of fun was all an illusion.
I'm attractive my younger years were hard AF. Looks don't stop crazy parents from being crazy. Wouldn't change it for the world; struggle makes you a man.
Frats can even sometimes be cheaper then on campus living
Not if they are at a major state flagship where greek life is huge, especially if we are talking about a great house.
No you probably can't afford top house. You can def go "midtier" and get some quality babes
you don't get quality babes if you go midtier, seriously
If you live in a party mansion throwing ragers every weekend on the reg and don't pull thats on you
status talks, bullshit walks
Yep. That's why football, baseball and basketball players get the best chicks.
Depends where you go to college too. More babes at big schools in the South.
Keep in mind that life and it's experiences are relative. Hot girls get all the attention they could ever want when they're young. Usually they don't know how to handle it so it turns them into shitty people (after the cc). Average guys on the other hand are completely invisible. As we develop into men and mold our selves through work and experience, we receive our recognition at the same rate we earn it. This allows us to have gratitude and be thankful for what we have earned socially, financially etc. I pitty women and rich kids that get given luxury, power and social influence before they are ready for it. For them, it is truly a curse.
i'm 28 and my life still sucks. what the fuck do i do?
I might make a post on that later :D
yo man i'm a frustrated dude. short, asian, great job, but introverted and bitter as fuck. my life is great on paper, and i have a small circle of good friends, but i have zero charisma, no luck with ladies, and tons of self pity. what do i do man
Short and Asian, introvert on top of that?
Man! That is rough!
lol thats not very helpful
Look up RSD and see the short dudes in that company kill it. Look up Bobby Lee a 45 year old 5'3 dude with a smoking hot girlfriend and a history of hot girlfriends
Looks mean nothing
Thanks for this I really needed to hear it. Graduated recently with a stem degree and I still love with my parents almost two years later. I guess that's just how things will be for a while. I've noticed that when people tell you how great things will be after high school/college they never tell you about others who had a shitty life even after. Something like a second set of rules you have to follow or conditions you have to meet.
What is "Greek Life"? I've seen it mentioned a lot recently.
If you're not American, don't worry about it, you can also do the research yourself since they made google for a reason.
Also, it doesn't start to not suck just because of age, you have to keep building up your capabilities. Age raises expectations so a 35 year old drifter seems strange compared to the 22 year old vagabond. Early successes can lead to stagnation and a backward trajectory if you drop the effort level. I've seen ex athletes and vets lose control of their weight. Their talk of the past might as well be talk of their parents' (someone else's) past.
Try to find something you're willing to stick with. Everyone has FOMO but it's all similar; getting to a level of expertise is better than dabbling around long-term.
Man I really needed to hear this. I let myself get in a rut after I lost my job a little awhile ago, and the other day I finally decided I was through with my own shit. My LTR gave me a slap back to reality when she made a comment about who I was when I met her (Much more alpha) and where I am now. I was letting myself go and I kept blaming it on everything except myself.
I hopped back on here and have been re-reading a number of important posts/links and it really screwed my head back on straight, this post especially. I just turned 21 and come from a family who isn't well off, so reading this really fucking motivated me. I appreciate it dude.
Would you say this still applies in Canada? Consider that our tuition is much less ($7000-$11 000) and there's no Greek life, which means way more people are able to go away for university with less debt. I'm wondering because I'm in the process of deciding if I go away next year or stay at home. My parents are middle class.
not sure about canada myself
Great post man, thank you for this.
Speaking from experience, if I'd had to actually work in my early 20s I doubt I'd have had the time to get around since I'd probably have met less people.
And going to a university where pretty much everyone's existence is paid for by their parents, it does make me wonder how different a lot of the girls (who massively overrate their SMV) outlooks on life would be if they'd had to put themselves through education. I'd doubt they'd be as willing to brush off nearly every guy they meet/fuck in the hopes that something better is waiting around the corner from them, because what they don't realise is that after college those guys won't be queuing up for them anymore.
Female students on the whole have a huge misconception of how attractive they actually are and guys who don't appreciate their self worth are probably partly to blame since as a sex we're allowing ourselves to be dominated by sub-par women during higher education and it needs to stop. I make this point because I meet graduates and women who have not gone to uni and they have no such misconception about where they are in the pecking order. Obviously guys do this as well, but the difference is, high SMV women aren't fucking low SMV men (until maybe age 30 at the minimum if they've decided they need to settle down and have kids) so no one is adding fuel to the fire in this false belief for (at the very least) young men.
Relating back to the post; your younger years do not have to suck as a man if you're not born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you just have to work harder for it.
Get in the gym, focus on yourself, put yourself out there with confidence and don't dance to the tune of everyone else around you.
As for women, I'd say that the need to be "hot" for your youth not to suck is probably not the case since the false self-belief that they are hot (which is then supported by men who undervalue themselves) leads them to have the same youth-experience as the girls who are -actually- hot.
"For those who fight for it, life has a flavor that the sheltered will never know"- Theodore Roosevelt. I'm 26, grew up in a predominantly poor neighborhood in NJ metropolitan area, experienced depression, experienced academic failure numerous times due to unfavorable life circumstances, had to take out loans to pay for college because my parents couldn't afford to pay for it, grew up with a verbally abusive father, and I'm just now starting to experiencing life as it is while other rich/spoiled people are getting married, having kids....and guess what? I don't get regret anything that has happened to me in life. These experiences turned me into a battle hardened soldier ready to murder my enemies. I know the value of hard work and how failure, poverty, and deep depression can really fucking drive a person to become the best and most successful version of themselves. All these experiences, especially growing up with friends who have grown up in similar households, and faced similar challenges (two of my good friends are drug dealers) caused me to have a hypermasculine mindset.
Have you ever heard of the code of the road? I mean the real one. It's a lot like Vegas. You don't talk about what happened on the road, and not because it's illegal but because you don't want to deprive someone else of that experience.
16 was Saturday Night Lights for me. Football was life. All the lawns I mowed, all the leaves I raked, a long list of some pretty shitty low paying jobs were so that I could get to the gym and the track and train for an hour of glory ten times a season.
17 was dealing with a blood clot on the occipital lobe of my brain caused by a hit I took playing football. You know, I learned who my real friends were. I probably missed out on a sports scholarship. I picked up a guitar and learned how to play, and left high school with my first year of college complete.
18 was spent at the local CC and having fun with my friends, and still working my ass off. The best memory I have of 18 is this little red head who told me how much of a Christian she was then spent half the night fucking me with abandon, only to tell me I couldn't tell her boyfriend.
19-22, I finished an AS and hated sitting in school. I joined the Army. It was a whole new adventure and worth it. the only mistake I made was getting married to a woman that I should have just pumped and dumped.
22 - 25, I spent a year and a half working at a shot wage before a friend called and asked me to come work with him. I took it. It paid for a house on a quiet lane and enough for me to start a business with zero debt and money in the bank. No regrets.
Graduated in 2009 with no connection to anyone in a major metro city. Wasn't handed shit from my parents other then love. I had a part time job in college... and couldn't find a job in marketing in 2009.
Needed a job... found one that wasn't related to field. It was selling cars.
Killed it... year after year after year I was salesman of the year. It was natural for me. I just bullshitted my way through it and then crafted it over and over again.
However, I didn't take a hard took at myself personally.... I didn't work out, didn't bother to listen to elders older then me about my health and fitness.
That's different now. It comes in time, we all work on different things at different speeds and paces. I'm almost 30.
I'll figure it out, figured the rest out.... thanks for the amazing post.
Hated high school. I even mostly checked out of the clique I started in 7th grade. From the end of sophomore year on I just wanted out. College was the same--I wanted to be done and get in with the actual conquering of life. It's not that I was lonely. I had GFs and others to play with. I jut wanted out and into the real world.
Life really only begins at age 25. Now you're old enough to be taken seriously if you're intelligent. Now you're old enough to be invited to serious cocktail parties. Now you're old enough to begin to conquer.
Save the younger girls for the post 30 period. The older they get, the less BS. I dated "older" women from the age of 22 on--until I turned 30, then I went the other way.
I really needed this. This is the shit that has been plaguing my mind. I'm glad at least others understand my longing for an enjoyable life.
Right now I'm currently living with my parents after three semesters of college. I'm now $30k in debt and currently do not have a job.
This is an amazing post. Great job.
Just to clarify one of your statements:
For most Greek Life, the dues plus housing and food costs much less than living on Campus.
I know that I personally will be living in a Greek house next year because it is over 2000$ cheaper.
That said Greek life is not the only way to enjoy life and college can be a good experience if a person keeps an open mind.
Killed it then, still killing it now....for the most part. Only shit part is that 100 girls don't congregate in my basement to get shitfaced several times a week...
This is a late comment but I'm glad I read this ! I've really struggled through my childhood years ! All of what you mentioned caused in me a constant feeling of inadequacy. But things have changed now and I believe I'm more a man than any who had it "easy".
TL;DR: "Hurr durr they can pay for Greek life dues"
This post is absolute shit, doesn't have any message and is just bitter. Completely useless in terms of takeaway (Keep your head up? The fuck?) and you reek of a kid who didn't get a bid from a frat and is bitter.
This post is BS if you're social and a good athlete you'll do fine in college.
My younger years were exactly like any romantic comedy. I'm white, 6'1", athletic, suburban upper middle class. My parents bought my first 3 cars. I got decent grades. There was a party every weekend, with plenty of girls willing to give it up. We drank and had huge parties, and if the cops showed up, nobody got in trouble even if we had weed and alcohol. When someone got a dui, their parents just spent a ton of money until it went away. Now that I'm an adult looking to raise kids of my own, I think I will do it very different. I lived life on easy mode for so long that I was not equipped to handle adult life. Sure, I had an awesome 10-15 years, but I spent the same amount of time figuring out how to be a good human after the party was over. Easy mode probably isn't the best way to raise a kid.
Many of the spoiled kids will run away from the age of 25, knowing it's all hell from that point on, you will welcome the age of 25 with open arms.
Are you kidding me? I moved out of my parent's house and started my life at 15.
We're living in an era of never-ending childhood. This is ridiculous.
I might actually do a post on that.