Back in your blue pill days, you "fell in love" with a girl that may have not even known you even existed. You had your eyes on the prize but couldn't reach it. This may have been in grade school, this may have been in college, this may have been at a bar after work, this may have been your whole life, this may have even been yesterday for whatever reason. We've all been there at one point or another in our lives. At this time, you felt as if you were a peasant before a queen. You felt a foot tall in the presence of this woman. The pang of rejection scared you into inaction or a misstep so hard that the collective memory of the times you didn't pull the trigger or had poor execution made you cringe at yourself. But you cannot keep looking to the past regrets and fear of missing out. You need to keep your eyes on the prize fellow brother.
BP conditioning makes the acquisition of a relationship with the woman you love ("the one") best thing that could possibly happen to you. The joy and honor of providing for some beautiful woman is the destiny you chase during these times. In a generation where women all call each other "queen," demand to be treated like princesses, and push for the i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t movements, we are merely products to be discarded upon one time use, yet painted as the "privileged" ones. One day you muster up enough courage and land yourself with someone you see as "the one." You now have the honor of providing for this seemingly unobtainable woman and she loves how she feels about herself with you. You do the best you can and spend sleepless nights putting her happiness and comfort over yours. You wonder just how you could have gotten so lucky to have landed a woman like her; so you sacrifice, you compromise even your fundamental beliefs with her, you do all that you can to try to make her happy no matter what. You do this, thinking that will get her to tie the knot with you, have babies, and live happily ever after like Disney movies have been telling you for years. You think you deserve your prize for being such a good, virtuous man by staying chaste and only making your life about her and her happiness. Her smile is the thing that keeps you waking up in the morning. This is what you were told your whole life: she is the prize, your purpose in life was to find the one, and here she is in the flesh. Eyes on the prize my fellow brother. You got your prize now, right?
Then one day, the foundations of your reality shakes at its very core. This might be after the honeymoon stage is over. This might be after she's engaged to you. This might be after the wedding/honeymoon. This might be after you've already had your children together. This might be years down the road after your kids have grown up and gone to college. For whatever reason, it ends. Maybe somewhere along the line you stopped trying. Maybe you got comfortable. Maybe she didn't love the way she felt around you anymore. One day it all ends. She leaves you (and maybe takes your kids/home/percentage of your paycheck with her). You're dumbfounded as to why and how it all ended. You dropped your gaze on the prize and it slipped out of your hands. Some time passes and she’s with someone new now. It almost feels like you never existed and that everything you did for her has been for nothing. Your dream is shattered. Your happily ever after went out the door with her.
So you take a while to grieve or feel bad for yourself. Hell, maybe you go out on some dates and sleep with some strange for a while, but during this critical juncture you are faced with two choices: you can choose to put back together the shattered blue pill reality you once had, or focus on picking yourself up and changing something. Some of you choose to go down a black hole of self-loathing, with many days spent on a couch watching Netflix while eating a tub of ice-cream or whatever high fat content food there is so that you can eat away your feelings. Maybe you drink your days away to try and forget during nights alone. Maybe you thought you lost "the one" and contemplated taking your life over her. Maybe you are convinced she was the only source of happiness you ever knew. Maybe you continue to hook up with randoms to get your mind off of "the one that got away," until you eventually meet another woman to restart the process of securing the all fated "one." Maybe you’ve been somewhere similar or have repeatedly made the same choices that led you back to the same shitty ending, but this time you choose to do something differently…
You start going back to the gym or you go for the first time in your life. You start pushing yourself to try new things and realize things about yourself you never had. You pick up a couple of hobbies for yourself that weren't pushed onto you by women from the past and you find your true passions. You work harder at work. You become more focused in the things you do. You start doing things for yourself, like prioritizing time for yourself instead of giving away your time to pretty women for the hope that one of them commits to you. You start to hang out with your actual friends again. You stand taller. You start to walk with some swag. You hold yourself confidently. You start dressing better. You start to look better. You start to feel better. You start to BE better.
You start noticing women sneaking a look at you in public places and you like the feel of someone checking out. You notice their eyes on you when you talk among your own friends in public. You catch a glimpse of their smile as they quickly look away to hide the fact that they were taking a peek. You start to notice they approach you more or make an excuses to talk to you in every day situations. Maybe they "bump" into you at the bar. Maybe they dance near you on the dance floor with their girl friends in the hopes that you will ask them to dance. Maybe you respond in kind, flirt with them, and they end up taking you home. It suddenly feels much easier than before. There is a moment during all of this where it all feels way too easy...
Then it finally clicks: You are the prize.
You worked on yourself and had noticed improvements in the quality of your life and as natural effect, women start to notice this as well. You became a high quality man by focusing on yourself and living for yourself. The next plate/ LTR you choose to have is a much higher quality experience that isn’t detrimental to you because you chose yourself over her, and she’s the one trying her best to keep you around. She feels like a concubine before a King. She rightfully feels small in within your presence. The pang of being rejected by you is so strong that she works her best to stay in shape and please you the way you wish to be pleased. She is the happiest she’s ever been because she knows she's got herself a real prize.
The foundations of your reality build themselves back up brick by brick, constructing a new world view (The Red Pill). You are finally able to be happy because every day, you choose to love yourself rather than letting someone else decide what happiness is for you. “The one” you have been seeking all your life was you all along; so you readjust your sights and aim to work every day to shoot for the best version of yourself cause no one else is going to do it for you.
Eyes on the prize my fellow brothers, eyes on the prize.