Here is a classic example of a woman attempting to have her cake and eat it too. She eventually deleted the post because of the negative backlash in the comments.
Essentially, this woman thought it was a good idea to bring up the idea of an open relationship to her boyfriend of 5 years. According to her, he is "amazing" i.e. good job, great sex, good family, etc. She just wanted to have purely physical sex with other men, but it would go "both ways" as if that made it any better.
He knew what this meant, that she already had a guy (or guys) in mind and was looking for an excuse to cheat. He breaks up with her on the spot and she apparently is "heartbroken" and doesn't understand why he would end a 5 year relationship over something "so small."
Of course, the reasoning eludes her completely. Not once does she think of how he is feeling, only that she has been crying for days and is completely upset. She doesn't think that to him, her wanting an open relationship meant that it was only a matter of time before she cheated.
If he said yes, someone else would be plowing his girlfriend. If he said no, it would cause tension and eventually she would fuck someone anyway. He did the only thing he could and dumps her. He completely cuts contact and even sends his friend to pick up his stuff so she can't pull any post-break up mind games on him.
She tries to justify it by saying as a response to one of the comments, "I just wanted to talk about it. If he was into it, great. If not, then also great." Again, she doesn't understand that the second she mentioned "open relationship" it was over. No one can trust their girl anymore after she mentions that.
Bottom line: Your girl may or may not cheat (or want to cheat). If she does and comes to you with some bullshit like this, cut your losses and get out.
What a goddamn champion. He knows when to get the fuck out and how to do it correctly. Fucking ghost that bitch so hard she ends up on a paranormal TV show.
He taught me a lesson on when to end relationship
The part that impressed me the most was the sending a friend to go pick up your things so she can't play post break up mind games.
I didn't do this, and it prolonged the post breakup sadness because they stick daggers in you every minute you're there. Women have some 200 million years of experience at this.
She just wants the relationship to end, but she doesn't want to be the one to end it, she wants victim status, and she got it. Her reputation is safe. If he's a real man, he'll let her have it. It's no skin off his back for the other poor soul she lures in, where he takes the white knight role in saving this poor victim girl from her last relationship playing dark triad lucifer's daughter games to get something for nothing.
The stories women tell about how their last breakup happened is probably mostly lies. Go find her previous lover and get to know him. If you can get his side of the story, you can dodge a bullet, I failed to do this, and I paid the price.
If you're dating a woman who's 8/10 in the looks department or higher, don't forget to read: https://illimitablemen.com/2014/02/17/lucifers-daughter/
Does anyone else feel nauseated whenever they encounter this phrase, "...a real man."
Every time I hear it, I feel like a former cigarette smoker walking into a smoker's house.
A real man wouldn't feel nauseated when encountering the phrase "a real man".
My prescription for you is 2 frilly purses.
I read "2 frilly Priuses". Also applies.
"Dark triad lucifer's daughter games" hah! I'm adding that to my verbal spank bank right now.
These words have very specific meanings, don't use them as a description of things you don't like. https://illimitablemen.com/2013/11/17/understanding-the-dark-triad/
https://illimitablemen.com/2014/09/10/understanding-the-dark-triad-qa-part-1/
And used correctly, the words are fighting words and relationship ending words. Don't use them for a verbal spank bank unless you want to join that dark side.
No I know what they mean I just like the combo one two punch of them together.
I aspire to be as strong as this man one day
This is an old one.
The problem is that it is still notable for its rarity. The recent stories are on the opposite side - like the guy who accepted to share his wife and shit like that.
So - top billing for that guy, perfect pass. Bad sign that there are no more recent ones like this.
I wish I had the balls to be that brutal with entitled girls who were objectively crossing the limit of common sense with me. Instead of just calling them out and talking (even briefly) which lead to nothing obviously.
No => GTFO and dont you dare even talking to me again
B-b-b-but it's not her fault.
Nobody can lie better than a chick lying to herself.
Technically, it's not her fault on a conscious level. It's in their DNA.
I know this was posted previously, however I enjoy it every time I see it.
I wish OP could have listed the comments. Those were glorious.
DAYUM!!!!!!!! Sometimes the savage is so strong you have to take a few minutes to appreciate it :-)
What a loser is more like it.
If he was really Redpilled he would have taken the opportunity to show her who has the higher SMV.
Instead he, and you guys cheering him on took the Beta approach to dump her rather then prove your own worth.
He doesn't need to prove his worth. He knows his worth. She didn't.
Username is JimCuck. Checks out
Shit test nuked from orbit.
It's' the only way to be sure.
Wasn't a shit test, she wasn't testing him IMHO. She made a project and was going for his green light. But it still was the appropriate response.
The best part is that even her friends are calling her out on it. No doubt there was some BP in the comments that told her it wasn't her fault and that her ex is being completely unreasonable. The guy handled it like a champ, GTFO as soon as he learned that she wasn't faithful.
I was amazed. Full blown scorched earth, absolutely beautiful.
Betas and white knights always encourage the breakup though. Half the time they follow it up with "pm me if you want to talk and happen to be near X zip code".
Theyre like fucking vultures.
I wonder if any of them have actually had success with that strategy lol; I'm guessing either nothing or they got scammed.
Probably more than you think as after a woman is broken up with they can be an easy rebound lay for a while.
"The best part is that even her friends are calling her out on it."
Let others do the talking...almost always works to your advantage...even if it takes time.
This guy did awesome. "You see me as beta bucks now so I'm packing my bags".
I'm just amazed at how rare it is "to see that behavior in the wild" (ok, so its really just randos on the internet). I have a friend who was in the same situation and agreed to the "open relationship"...of which he stayed sexless beta provider and she whored around to her whimsy.
Men misunderstand that she can get free cock anytime she likes whereas he cannot - especially without the possible lure of his commitment due to having a gf.
An instant classic, and a great reminder.
If a woman ever brings up this type of topic, it's always better to listen instead of immediately shutting down the conversation with a hard line opinion. They'll openly admit to red flags, then you can make your move based on what they say. Maintaining a playful, nonchalant demeanor while probing further into the topic will result in a lot of free information about who this person really is.
Whatever type of relationships you pursue with women, whether plates or LTR, always foster open dialogue, but never give up more information than they do. Remember, it's not a debate -- people rarely deviate from their belief systems. You take the info and make the best move for you.
An EC has asked me to point you for this comment.
If a woman is taking about it, she has already been thinking about it. If she has been thinking about it, she wants it. If she wants it, there is no floor in how far she will stoop to get it; the only question is if there are road blocks to achieve it. Public shaming and the stocks did a good job keeping women (mostly) faithful. With the barriers being deconstructed in modern society, men have no choice but to assume IT WILL HAPPEN. His reaction was as if it was actually happening which is exactly the right reaction.
If I'm this guy (and I would do the same exact thing), I am waking up super grateful every day for at least the next year. Knowing that she showed me her hand BEFORE any legal commitment, especially with how "well" things had been for FIVE years? What a fucking blessing for this guy, because, based off of her description of the relationship, everything was great, so I'm guessing she played the part REAL well.
Then again, he probably noticed other small things over the years that tipped him off slightly and this probably just confirmed for him that she is not worth it. Either way, have to be happy when they show who they really are so as to leave no doubt what your next move is.
Nah, it was great because she currently thinks she fucked up and wants him back. If the hamster would spin in other direction, we'd be hearing how he was an inconsiderate jerk because he didn't want to argue with her for no reason.
Yeah that wasn't what I was saying though. She clearly needs a variety of dick and is willing to risk her "great" relationship for a chance at that. I don't even know wtf you're trying to say here...
Calm down. I'm trying to say the relationship most probably wasn't all roses already. She would paint a different picture in no time if it would suit her narrative. This was only the final red flag.
How do you not get angry at "well, there goes five wasted years I'll never get back"?
If you think like that it is always going to cost you. Losses that lie in the past are gone forever. If you still think of them and try to recover them, then you are a broken man.
For example, if you lose 10k at the stock market, it's gone. It is sunken cost. If you think you have to get those 10k back as fast as possible, you are probably going to lose even more.
Money is one thing, but how do you drop five years worth of emotional investment in an instant?
I don't know, and I hope I won't need to do it. However, you can take comfort in the thought that breaking up with such a whore probably saved you a lot of money, time and emotional damage.
You were on the wrong way and you realized it 5 years in. Ideally you should have realized it 5 years earlier, but on the other hand you could have realized it 5 years later (so you would have wasted 10 years in total) and your situation would be much worse by then. You could literally be in a happy marriage and have 2 children.
True, I suppose it's all perspective and you always have to look at the positives. Thanks for the answer
When you say emotional investment, are you talking about actual love you practiced for her (such as teaching), or are you talking about an attachment / affection that you have, i.e. idealism?
One thing to remember is that when people purchase stocks with the intent of selling them at a profit (or doing the same effective thing with options, et al) they are actually engaging in speculation… not investment.
The best way is to never start investing.
You have to be always ready to leave her, your emotional investment will be worse, but your peace of mind will be better.
Because if you internalize "she is not yours, it's just your turn" it will make sense. To get out unscathed? Shit, man. Most guys would love for that.
Also, how are you not angry? Because he is clearly a desirable male, probably late twenties? Going back to the market at this point will be fun for this guy.
Internalize trp, become desirable. I see it. Thanks
I strongly suspect this as well. a man who can drop a 5 year relationship on the spot is almost super human....unless he's seen the writing on the wall already and she just confirmed it.
As with anything, when a woman resorts to direct, overt communication, it's because it's already too far gone.
Women don't do uncertainty, and risk, they do certainty. I guarantee she gave subtle hints leading up to, whether he caught them or not, who knows? It was going nowhere, she she got desperate, switched to overt communication.
http://i.imgur.com/Xzxt1gI.jpg
Space is pretty goddamn alpha, not gonna lie
The funny thing is it looks like she clearly cant notice that she lost the attraction that she used to feel to him and now sees him as a beta bux. This is not the first time i see somehting like this. Sometimes I feel girls have a hard time seeing what their personality is like.
I don't even think about that stuff. Just like the guy in the story.
You're heavily focused on understanding her thoughts, pointing out where she fucked up. It's her frame, all about 'her'. Instead of focusing and framing it in femenine-centric terms (fem-centric can be good or bad, but focused on the woman) frame it as a man, with your own mental point of origin.
He has standards, boundaries, and non-judgemental about them. It wasn't throwing away 5 years of value, it was cutting losses and moving on. I'll never know if he gave it a second thought, but in an ideal word, it was if it never existed.
Granted, it sounds as if he has a good circle of friends, who have his back, probably bought the scotch, and gave him a couch to have his afternoon of vulnerability, before picking himself up and starting again.
That's the story, thats the narrative, and thats how an RP focus works. Male solipsism, because someone has to focus on you.
I know Its wrong to focus on this stuff. Its just that every time I see stories like this It makes me question if women can ever be worth our time for other things besides sex and breeding, since its clear women have a hard time understanding concepts like loyalty and respect. Its kinda creepy. It looks as if every Women have some sociopath/autistic traits. I´m not trying to defend them on the opposite I´m just saying female brains looks so fucked up and bizarre sometimes.
To put in a better analogy Its like something is missing in their mind like a "gear". Its like as if they are just a software computer and cant evolve or do anything beyond what they were programmed to do.
As for the guy I´m glad he knew how to handle with RedPill mentality the situation and had friends to help him out ditch this bitch.
Women handle loyalty and respect just fine. It's just their version of loyalty and respect hangs on your ability to man up. They can't respect or be loyal to someone whose weaker than them. They also cant do it, if they're already damaged.
If you're looking for long term girlfriend material, go find a wholesome hobby or group. Find a woman who has a lot of religious conviction. Watch out for the warning signs. The biggest one for me is getting drunk. If a woman gets drunk, they're not a good woman.
The biggest thing you can do is just go out an date. Every time you're let down, write down what made her an asshole to you. Next time you date, watch for those warning signs, until you've whittled it down to a fine art. Never get married, and always wear a condom. Most of all, have fun. If it's not fun, then whats the point?
If you find a woman that thinks like a man, shes a man, not a woman. They are what they are, dont overthink it.
The good ol hot/crazy matrix
That's not the point of women. If you want a man in your life, be a fag.
This mentality screams autistic and socially retarded. If you think women don't understand loyalty and respect, you're hanging around other autists too much. Their drivers for loyalty and respect aren't the same. Again though, that's a YOU problem.
He's not being autistic. Loyalty and respect are male traits that were bred through war.
https://therationalmale.com/2011/10/03/war-brides/
Well you criticized a lot but still didn't actually answer any of his questions. Do you got the answers or not?
The difference is that men are more likely to end a relationship if they get the point of disloyalty or disrespect.
It's like a friends. I won't be friends with some that I do not respect nor feel loyalty towards.
They really do have a hard time seeing their own personality. They have a lower level of self awareness. That's what makes solipsism possible. I wish I understood how the gears could turn in their heads to make this possible.
Yet they are told they are more self aware simply because they supposedly feel feelings more intensely or more often and they pick up on social cues more on average.
This is probably the most insightful comment I've come across on this sub.
This hoe would win gold medal at mental gymnastics olympics Lmao
Nah nah, this is entry level stuff for the hamster. The real challenge would have been her doing 5 guys at once and him catching her in the act. Leave it to a woman to find a way to explain why it really wasn't her doing.
"I invited them over, got naked but it was rape I swear"
If you treated me well for a change
Oldie but goodie from 2013. I believe we've discussed this one a few times but I can't find any submissions after a brief search. Here's an archive: https://archive.fo/WhogR
A wild alpha male has appeared.
There is red gold in her post too!
Rock solid frame.
Was this indirection so she would open up to him instead of cheating behind his back? Law 3 - Conceal your Intentions, Law 24 Play the Perfect Courtier, master the art of indirection.
Should you tell LTRs:
or
Ghosted! A+++ move. Any attempt to engage the hamster in conversation about this will lead to psychological manipulation about how he is a shitlord and oppressing her. The conversation will lead to her feeling good about the breakup and him feeling like even more shit than he already feels. Its harsh, but the best move for him in this situation. Always leave them wanting more. The forecast calls for 95% chance of alpha-widowing.
correct mind set.
Modern feminism ruins another relationship. She can't see it but asking to get plowed by random dudes means the intimacy is finished and there is no point continuing the relationship. The dudes turn has ended. He recognized this and handles it like a man.
And ghosting is important not simply because it's sweet revenge, but because any little contact has a chance of sucking you back into the relationship. Once she proves herself unworthy, there's literally no reason to waste your precious time with her for any reason.
Late response here, but are you suggesting that the second option is better, because you will more easily expose her cheating nature? Hadn't considered this kind of strategy...
I am not sure there is an answer to that.
She knows the rules, but would probably lie if she cheated to prevent a break up.
More likely to out herself, but you're also saying that she might be able to cuck you and keep you around.
Yeah. The former sounds stronger and more indicative of a leader. I'd go with that one, although probably a bit less directly; "No gf of mine would ever cheat on me or it'd over." Thanks.
This dude just did the Future Trunk's, slice and dice to this bitch and his relationship. Didn't waste no time at all!
Ever notice how Bulma hamsters her relationship with Vegeta?
What I've noticed is how bulma left sorry, weak ass beta Yamcha for Mr. Steal yo gurl, stoic, alpha, why cant I SURPASS KAKAROT, Vegeta.
Not to mention he's a goddamn prince.
Of a planet that doesn't exist.
Even better, that makes it "mysterious"
They really ruined his character in DBS. Betafied the crap out of him too.
I disagree. Dude is a lot stronger and more calm and tame. He's old and has a family to protect. Can't be flying off the handle anymore
Ehhh i get where you coming from but I think it's cool to see him wanting to be there for the birth of his child. Honestly he's more of a man than goku.
He still does not put up with bulma's shit. Goku is the one who goes farming because chi chi bitches at him while she just sits on her ass all day
I was referring more to overall how he's gotten soft.
While those things might be admirable qualities (caring for his family, his planet, etc.), it was a bit of a let down that the cold-blooded prince of all saiyans thirsty for nothing but power has now become a family man. I get it why it turned out this way, but it ruins his character in the context of the show. I like Super as a light-hearted show to watch but it definitely holds no candle to Z. They also IMO, ruined a lot of good characters, especially Gohan, Piccolo, Gotenks who are practically useless nowadays. And I can't let go of the grudge of what they did in the Zamasu arc to Vegito.
Where do you faggots come from?
Damn that guy was a true smart fella. I respect him for his wise decision. Also fuck that bitch, got what she deserves.
now this is how man with fucking testosterone handle woman respect
I love how the very first way she describes him is "has a good job"
Struck me like a truck, too. Yep, gender equality, my a**.
This shit's so classic, it's probably what got a good chunk of us to TRP in the first place
You are lucky if this happens to you. Better to be given overt warning than cheated on and deal with gaslighting.
Yeah- I appreciate her honesty. And I'm sympathetic to the idea of wanting more than one dick in your lifetime. Now I'm old and don't care so much but when I was young I had to end a few relationships because I needed to know what sex was like with another person. Are you really going to be satisfied at that age with one sex partner for the rest of your life? I don't know about others but my answer is "no". How do you deal with that if you aren't poly?
Probably she already cheated if there was a chance.
I didn't see anyone cover a few points which I would like to.
I love the cut off. just total cut off. and a good enough guy to NOT talk about it with her friend. just BANG!!!
No one, man or woman, brings up an open relationship without being at least 75% sure that a target they already have in mind is going to sleep with them.
I love her claim that "hey ... it goes both ways". first, by bringing it up, she proves via rule 2 that she already has someone she is going to cheat with ... and that is if she hasn't already. but here is the real hurdle. While BOTH are free to have this open relationship .... the man still has to go out and hunt and earn a pussy ... girl just has to say yes.
Thats actually some good points that help me understand this better. Because I thought at least she was honest and upfront about it. So many other women are sneaky and cheat behind the guys back, so of course just ASKING about an open relationship makes this a better woman than one who cheats behind your back, right? So I dont really see all the hate she faces, but yeah, you do bring up good points.
I think you need to define "better woman" in your question: "So many other women are sneaky and cheat behind the guys back, so of course just ASKING about an open relationship makes this a better woman than one who cheats behind your back, right?"
Is it better that she asked than just ran out the back door and started cheating on her boyfriend? Yes.
Isn't this just two roads to the same end and neither woman is "better"? yes, both women are cheating on their boyfriend and from a certain point of view, the manipulation of the one trying to have an open relationship is a little worse. I say this because she is trying to trick someone who cares about her into her selfishness. she knows he has no interest in this.
But you don't get it. The minute she's ASKING anything about an open relationship she's already made up her mind. Guaranteed there are several guys in her phone wanting to fucking plow her and cum inside and she wants a few of them. I guarantee it. Her bringing this up is just an inadvertent way to get to fuck other guys. Her attraction is gone and she doesn't care about her guy anymore because now she wants new dick. Ghosting her whore ass was the smartest thing this guy could've done. Women need to learn it's not okay to be fucking whores or you'll get left. Too many guys stick around and get all pathetic and whiny and emotional. Just fucking accept she's a slut and cut out.
Interesting point about how she probably has a guy already in mind that she wants to fuck. Is this often the case like you say? The way I interpreted it is that the girl expects to find a guy willing to fuck her, I mean it is easy for a girl to get laid. Therefore she doesn't need to have anyone in mind, she can just load up tinder and find a guy the same day. So, therefore she may be more sincere in this than wanting to fuck Chad from work.
She more than likely already knows WHO she is going to sleep with and she already knows that she is going to have no issues arranging it.
What's more, it is more than likely a mediated branch swinging. she WANTS to sleep with the other guy. she WANTS to maybe be with that guy. she is sure she can sleep with him but not get him. so there is the plan: sleep with him with permission from the boyfriend.
so when things work out with guy #2, guess what happens? the lifetime movie drama.
IF the boyfriend has found someone to practice this open relationship with .... "this is too much. it's just too much. I can't believe you slept with her. I didn't know this was going to hurt as much. I need for us to be apart and think." at which time she moves in with guy 2.
if the other guy Doesn't find another girl to have open relationship with: "me and guy 2 just happened. it wasn't planned. I never thought that we would end up having feelings for one another. this is all so confusing and I love you. I think we need to be apart so I can think and be fair to all of us". at which time she moves in with guy 2
Before you commit to someone, you need to make sure they are enough for you. they have looks you want to look at all the time. they have conversations you want to have all the time. they take care of themselves and the home and you the way you want all the time. the second one of the couple says you are not enough ... it's over.
BOSS! I am sure it wasn't easy to dump a 5 year relationship. It is funny how everything is going down the shitter. A decade or two ago it would have been obvious that asking to open a 5 year relationship means it is over. In 2017 the woman is confused why dude doesn't want some other guy ramming his cock into his gfs mouth.
The only thing he should do. Being the cuck is the other option.
DOUBLE BOSS! The guy knows it is going to be drama city. He might cry, end up in bed with her and take her back.
This is nothing more than "branch swinging with a safety net" The dude knows this and handled it like a champ. Be like the dude. Never be some hos safety net.
Bitch had it coming. Got what she deserved.
Exactly. Women need to understand that if you wanna be a slut then then you do it solo. Don't bother getting into a relationship because that open relationship, multiple partners bullshit is a one way ticket to being single unless she's with a beta, cuck, pathetic fucking idiot. Let's prove how strong our bond is by me going to some other guys house that you don't know and letting him shove his dick in my mouth while I stick a finger in his ass. Yep sure shows relationship solidarity all right, get the fuck out.
This guy reads TRP, I guarantee it.
We know you're reading this, guy!
This guy deserves a fucking ruby-encrusted gold medal with an emerald the size of a fist in the middle
I think a wheel barrel to help carry his balls is more appropriate.
Open relationships are a rotten deal for men. Essentially the woman wants the security of a stable relationship with the pleasure and excitement of being a complete whore.
The man gets nothing. There's no guarantee the woman will stay loyal to the man and she is likely to jump ship as soon as a better option appears. There's no foreseeable point where the "experience" ends, it could go on indefinitely. She will never be yours again and you'll never regain your self-respect.
Agreeing to such a relationship is agreeing to be a cuckold. You're that woman's backup plan.
Don't do it, don't even entertain the idea and definitely don't propose it to your girlfriends.
my best friend started dating a married woman in an open relationship, she let OP husband know they were getting a divorce in january. Now they don't have a pesky husband competing for time.. shit they're on the phone right now.
:l
I mean, op husband & I had some fun banging tinder whores every weekend but I don't think he wanted a divorce! Open relationship was his idea, too.
Don't forget, it's much easier for a girl to bang random guys within the week, whereas for the average guy he'll have to start cultivating options again.
Been a good deal for me. That's why I proposed it to her. Told her if she didn't want one I'd stay monogamous for her and I meant it. She agreed she also would stay monogamous for me if required. But it wasn't required so we've had some fun. I've fucked five other girls she's fucked two other guys and we had a threeway with her female friend. Either of us can end it and go back to monogamy at any time. We still fuck each other all the time and neither of us is a backup plan.
Of course the willingness to be monogamous forever if required was key. If she'd come to me and said she needed an open relationship I would've ended it right then and there, and I would expect the same from her.
you're also dreading the fuck out of her.
What does that mean? I think I know what it means but if you wouldn't mind elaborating.
women gauge a man's sexual attractiveness largely based on how much other women want him. women use social proof more than intrinsic value. so when he says this...
she's absolutely keeping score, and it's 5-2 with a threesome on top all in his favor. the fact that other women want to fuck him means that she sees him as having very high value. the fact that he can leave her at any time and she believes that he can still get laid = dread. the fact that she KNOWS with 100% certainty (so it's not just a fear or belief) that he can leave her at any time and still get laid = nuclear dread.
women would rather share an alpha than own a beta.
The guy did the right thing. If you willingly stand on quicksand youre nothing but a fool.
I've read this somewhere. This has been posted a few times actually, but I've never seen the comments to that thread.
Tl;dr the chick gets BTFO by everyone, because she fucking deserved it
This isn't The_Donald, take your BTFO back there please.
Am I allowed to post a link to a different sub in the comments? If so, I have the original thread link.
I'm not sure. Pretty sure the automod automatically removes any links.
archive it and post archive link.
also the admins have their hands full with the donald so posting dead thread links in here probably isn't the biggest deal but archive would save anyones ass from automods iron fist.
Someone Posted this higher up : https://archive.fo/WhogR
it's from 2013 and I remember it too. a TRP classic, reposted once in a while to a fresher audience.
Very admirable move from the guy. I know most men would stick around, but as King-Macbeth pointed out, it doesn't matter if he said no. The idea is already out there, i.e. he knows that she is very much capable of fucking other guys.
I had a girl that I was together with for a pretty long time, who called me one day and said that she had an idea of how to finance her (whatever she was trying to get money for) and the idea was to go out on dates with guys for money...
it didn't take much thinking from my side before I broke off all ties with her, even though I had a lot of emotional investment in her...
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
Props to the dude but must be shit for him too. Sounds like he'll be alright though.
This guy is awesome. It's good to see a bastion of intelligence in the sea of complete morons.
If some other dude's gonna be fucking your girlfriend there's absolutely no reason to keep her around.
Excuse my stupid question but in this situation what is the best 'attitude' to have when leaving.
Whenever I leave a 'paring' (of any type) I always tend to have a 'friendly' good bye and say "hey this was a great time/experience. Hope you have a great time doing 'whatever'. See ya round" or something but I think this hurts my power when exiting such a pairing. It seems that going completely silent is super butthurt and I naturally tend to try and give some closure, which I've learned isn't really that helpful.
Logically, if you're exiting a pairing and just being civil in the process, it doesn't 'hurt your power' because the relationship is already finished - you don't need power anymore, because the game is over.
It becomes a problem when women try to exploit that friendly goodbye into 'staying friends' which means 'still doing them favors, just without the sex'. If you suspect it might go that way, then just go no-comms and be done.
I guess I asked the wrong question. I agree if I have zero care about this person then I will naturally go zero contact as I don't care. But I meant to ask using it as a power play. Going silent seems butthurt whereas openly showing I 'am unaffected' seems more powerful. Or am I being stupid by 'trying' to show anything at all. This is something I've had trouble deciding on since TRP.
I'm not sure if I understand you:
Are you asking how to behave when you're breaking up with a girl, or a girl is breaking up with you?
If so, then like I said: it doesn't matter much whether you act butthurt or friendly, because it's over.
If you're asking how to behave in between hookups or dates, then that's an entirely different thing.
Ha I'm asking using the threat of walking away as a power play. This guy simply walked away so who cares how he acted. What if I want to show that I'm prepared to walk away unless she shapes up. What's the best 'demeanour' to have to show that I'm not joking but I'm not butthurt either way.
If you have to overtly use such a threat, you've already lost her, just cut your losses and move on in silence.
There's nothing wrong with making statements that define your boundaries, e.g. "I'd immediately leave any woman who would [...]" in response to discussing some abstract situation. I have done that several times after reading some stupid relationship post, and it just seem to work like a basic dread game. It displays an abundance mentality.
However, you seem to be talking about something that annoys you that you would like to change about her. Or she cheated, or implied that she would, or whatever. Then you have to understand that the answer is she will never change and you should just leave.
I think this dude could leave angry. This girl lied about the type of girl she was and wasted his time since he's obviously looking for someone who is wife-able material. That is 5 years of wasted time which is a pretty justifiable reason to be angry without being considered petty.
Being angry gives her hamster fuel to turn the situation into something that she can justify "he was too controlling!". I understand stoic but to me stoic can also be interpreted as butthurt.
Well definitely don't angrily argue with her. Beyond that, who cares what she says. Just get your shit and leave. I don't think what emotion you're showing matters all that much as long as you stick to your logically derived conclusion that all further interactions with this woman are a waste of your time.
You can basically do whatever as long as your completely emotionless. This guy was basically as close to perfect as you can get. So much so that she admitted to stalking his work because she was so distraught.
The question I'm asking basically is how fine is the line between emotionless and butthurt.
I think this is a case of doing the best you can. My personal experience is that amused mastery wins in most situations, including a breakup. The most devastating thing you can do to a women is make her think you don't care at all and leaving is no big deal, which is what leaving with a smile and no butthurt is.
however, amused mastery, especially at the end of a ltr is not easy for most people to pull off. but, what more people find possible is emotionlessness, or at least, no contact. It's not quite as perfect, but still effective, and is easier for people to do.
NC will at least keep you from falling into the trap of trying to get back together, or get closure, or other such bullshit.
it's the idea that...sure, maybe 5-6 days in the gym is what you should be doing, but 3-4 will still get you good results and is more than most people can manage.
Great that's what I was looking for. Cheers
Be stoic, like you're dropping off garbage at the dump, because that's all she's to you now.
I like to take the disappointed dad approach. Silent and serious. Make her feel disappointment...
I feel it depends on the severity of the other party's transgressions (if any). If possible, I prefer to not burn bridges, and it's something I had to learn to do, because my natural inclination is to be brutal and dramatic. Time passes, and over time you forget the pain associated with a person. You had something in common to begin with, and it's more than can be said on average of total strangers walking on the street. It may be worth not treating a person you used to be close with like one of the strangers. You never know. They might hook you up with a job opportunity, or invite you to an event they organize where you might meet somebody cool. Multiplied by time and by multiple people abandoned, it adds up to a lot of potentially wasted opportunities.
That said, if they demonstrated through their actions cruelty, disrespect or malevolence, then fuck 'em. You're better off without a painful reminder in your life. And you're better off without people who do you harm. Just cut them out of your life cold turkey.
Like another comment said, at this point the power plays are already irrelevant in a practical, pragmatic sense. But they still matter for your self esteem and for how you view and feel about yourself. This is very important. If you thinks you're better off without a person looking forward, it's fine to indulge in your petty urges, because why not?
Don't be friendly or nice. Don't be afraid to be mean or an asshole because you're not. When you leave things nicely like that you enable the whore into thinking what she was doing wasn't that bad. Just fucking be as mean as possible or just cut it and ghost, don't even give time for bullshit on her end.
I do the same when leaving. I had an Ex leave me and move on to another guy, but never really fully explained what happened between us. Since that time, i have always offered closure to my Exes if they wanted it ( it would have made the grieving process easier for me at that time). Ive just always been a fan of open communication. But im not quite sure where this leaves me.
Good, neutral attitude. Make civil noises.
Then be just you know, too busy to catch up. Modern life is such a hustle.
Sort of like a facebook friend, really - the bare appearance, none of the reality.
He did. He told her to have a nice life then left.
Anything beyond that is simply enabling her behaviour.
also something to consider is that the woman claims he's "so alpha" etc AFTER he dropped her like a bad habit (aka showed alpha traits) so obviously she talks from the perspective of her feels in the present moment and doesn't consider how she felt before she brought it up to him, she probably thought he's a chump but turns out he's a champ
deleted REMOVED BY AUTOSCRIPT - GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD
Fuck I need to learn to do this with my stocks. Holding too many bags and then falling knife happens.
Good for that guy though. He's not stuck in the sunk cost fallacy.
Why you gotta be a habitual line stepper! Kids do this a lot. To see what they can get away with. It's like poking a bear. She tries so hard to rationalize it, but she crossed a line she knew she couldn't cross. She knew he was "traditional". Like a great salesman she went with the it can benefit both of us!
Now that she's experienced what she painted as a great relationship I wonder if she'll ever be satisfied with future ones. #AlphaWidow?
my guess is she had been taking him for granted for a while,
and this was just the last straw - so he cut bait and ran.
she imagines some great reconciliation would fix this,
she is oblivious to how selfish she's been all along.
Ya that guy is my hero. That girl's post should be skywritten over all major cities.
A couple of observations:
She was already sleeping with someone and wanted ex post facto approval to do so - I guarantee it. No woman is going to jeopardize her current position without a backup. He should get tested for STDs just to play it safe.
Sending a friend for stuff (unless it's just a couple of things) is a good idea but kind of lame. Bringing one or several friends as help/BS detectors/witnesses is a better idea.
I actually read that post in full and pretty much got up and did a round of applause for that guy, wow that is some fucking justice right there. The moment someone suggest an open relationship the relationship they're in is over, assuming both parties aren't cool with that. There's not a doubt in my mind that this issue would not have reared its ugly head again, good on this guy for not falling for the sunk cost fallacy, the right one is out there for him somewhere.
Oh my God is that sentence perfect. It's the most important thing in the whole post :
The order with which she laid it out is so fucking representative of how a woman loves a man.
She started with the job, also known as wealth.
She then moved on about how his family and friends love him, also known as social status.
Sex is last on the list even though he's great at it (he's probably not THAT great).
This guy knows what's up. Bravo
Fucking AWALT especially the part about her both considering his feelings. Girls will always put themselves before you so return the favour and never get attached or give her that comfort.
Id love to see the comments
Is there a backup/archived link that includes the comments?
EDIT: I saw you said you have the link, can you PM it if the bot disallows posting it?
Probably gonna get downvoted, but I've had similar thoughts while dating an ex girlfriend. It was my first relationship and I loved her but I also was interested in knowing what it's like to have sex with other girls.
Of course I was never actually dumb enough to bring it up, but yeah, at least the girl asked about it instead of cheating behind the dude's back.
I mean, compared to the divorce stories and cheating stories this doesn't even seem that bad. Of course she should be dumped but I wouldn't really be mad at the girl.
It's a fine line. If the thoughts of fucking other people have gone so far that you are seriously considering an open relationship, the relationship is over.
Of course, everyone who is in a relationship will at some point think "Damn, I want to fuck someone else." But there is a difference between that and taking that thought so far as to bring up an open relationship with their SO.
Yeah I agree she should get dumped but I doubt I would feel any anger, there are just so much worse stories I've read on here that I would just shrug my shoulders and move on to the next.
One thing you could do is say "Oh really? Great! I've been thinking about it too! A colleague/ex gf/female friend of mine has told me that she wants to sleep with me (again if ex) and i was hoping to do that but didn't know how to bring it up. So cool, i'll send her a text right away!" and wait for that reaction and follow up with "No stupid, i only wanted you but do you now realise how i felt by you bringing this up? We're done. Bye." or if she return with the same thing
"Oh me too, this Chad has texting me like crazy, sending D-pics and i've responded this and that so cool. I'll send him a text to hook up tonight!" to which you can reply "Oh go figure, i was just testing you and i guessed right. Don't send nudes or sext with another guy when you're in a relationship idiot. We're done, bye."
Or you can do as someone else here wrote "Sure, do you have a female friend that would like to join us?" or similar to just point it towards FFM+ threesomes or the likes and then just say kthxbye.
All these things seem, to me, a little pathetic.
If a woman suggests an open relationship when you've established a committed monogamous one, the only responses are:
"Ok, sure."
or
"Hit the bricks."
Getting all worked up about it is going to make you look like a little baby and remind her why she wanted to fuck some other guy in the first place.
Case 1 if she gets sad about it will make her realise her wrongdoing (Which the girl OP posted about clearly doesn't).
Case 2, you'll know even more that she was about to cheat or similar
Case 3, you get a threesome or similar out of it.
way too much energy to give to a thot
Nah fuck that shit, just exit. Can't save a hoe
Nah, she wanted closure but in no way deserves it because she can't even understand why a guy who enjoys his monogamous relationship would be vehemently against an open one. He chose the best possible course of action, say goodbye and never look back.
I would say yes to her proposal, fuck lots of girls and dump her when I find one I like.
I'm surprised you bothered talking about the girl at all. What is gold about that post is how perfect the dude handled the scenario, down to the T. Hats off and bravo to the dude.
One thing that's not mentioned in the replies, but something that this particular ex-boyfriend might have already known is that the 20% rule is a real thing. If she says that she's only fucked one guy, it means 5. If she's got the impudence to ask for an open relationship, she's already been fucking outside the relationship, and she's asking for his blessing for past and future partners to make her feel better.
Top Man! He gave no quarter. She being a solipsistic self absorbed entitled to further entitlement girl cant see where she went wrong. She opens up the possibility of him having to reach for her when she is whoring elsewhere. The fact that she doesn't admit to whoring does not reflect the possibility that she may have already had an undisclosed sexual liaison before this discussion came up. She certainly wanted to have it both ways and thought that she could pull a fast one. I'll bet he's a MGTOW now. Probably was Red Pill all along. My hat comes off to him.
Its nice to have friends to pick up your shit tho.
And the friend said he was disgusted. Real friends, how many of us
why was this removed? where is it?
That's what I'm trying to find out
Not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text....
First thing I thought too.
proceeds to use yuge blocks of texts...
https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.194571825.6594/flat,1000x1000,075,f.jpg
I would have brought over another plate and grabbed a few double blow jobs before bouncing.
How much plates do you have after 5 year of monogamous relationship? You're just dreaming..
I had 3 or 4 in town, 2 in Denver, 1 in Ohio, and 1 in Florida. After a 6 year monogamous relationship came to an end. Take the red pill already, monogamy.. that's the kind of fiction that mgtow laud at.
Ok, but that was not a monogamous relationship lol.
"we never fight and always sit down and talk things through "
and then she typed a huge block of text
"Just cutting his losses"
What a fucking boss. I wish I would've done this in my last shit relationship, goddamn.
Riiiiiiiiiight.......like he wouldn't get any bit of shaming whatsoever if he found other strange. FOH!!!!!
Yes because every guy out there loses his girl to strange schlong. How dare he not let her have her "cake and eat it too."
There........fixed that for you mate :-)
Hey I'm gonna charge you an edit fee for this one brah lol
Is this possibly someone who frequents this sub???
Right.......and Hillary Clinton would have been the best President ever LMAO
Ok.....$39.95 for the editing fees mate!
It's stupidly simple, folks.
If a woman has access to a 7 and an 8, she wants to fuck the 8, and the 7 is invisible.
If a man has access to a 7 and an 8, he wants to fuck them both.
That's why a man will on his LTR with someone he desires less than her... but if a woman ever cheats on her man, it means the magic is forever gone.
Serious question: in a hypothetical scenario, would it be good for the man to start a relationship with one of his ex's friends? She does say her friends love him, and must've confessed to them at least once how great the sex was. I'm sure he can get one of her friends if he wants, but is it advisable?
No because then you will probably have to deal with your ex in some form.
Supposing that could be avoided?
To me, it reads like some irate guy writer fantasizing about what he wishes he had done to some "bitch" who talked him into opening up... or maybe who just plain dumped him.
The boyfriend in the story is too perfect... It's a device used to make the girl's fuck-up epic and unforgivable.
A lot of people have successful open relationships though? Seems like it's fair to ask if it's something he's thought about.
maybe. but he obviously doesn't want one. She did. maybe it's possible she doesnt cheat after she asks him but like everyone says, he can't trust her.
It's almost impossible to reframe your monogamous relationship to open.
yeah definitely would be way harder than doing it from the get go.
No
lol no.
50+% of normal marriages fail, the rest are in some state of disorder.
It does seem like this guy handled this like a champ. I guess my question is how would one broach this subject. There are many people who live happily in open relationships. How does one bring up the question without getting this immediate response from their partner? Or is it just one of those things you cant bring up.
Is this supposed to be satire? Or are you guys wannabe sociopaths?
What part of breaking up with a person you are not comfortable being in a relationship with is sociopatic?
Breaking up with a person isn't sociopathic. Completely cutting all communication and contact the second your so brings up something they want to talk to you about... that's naive as fuck. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship and all you're going to do with a zero tolerance communication policy like that, is breed situations where your partner feels as though they have to walk on eggshells around you.
Edit: jerk each other's dicks a little harder, you guys must be getting close.
He broke up with her. He owes her nothing. It is not any uncomfortable topic she brought up, she essentially said to a guy who is very serious about a monogamous relationship, 'I would like to cheat on you, but still not break up'. This is a BIG red flag that the relationship is about to take a nose dive if he says no and stays with her. Most people are not ok with the idea of a poly relationship, and you have to respect or at least not be bigoted against both kinds of people.
Yeah no I get it, I've been in a relationship where she insisted on it being open so I had to leave her. Still open communication is the most important and fulfilling thing you can have with another person. If one question is all it takes for you to run then maybe she was the lucky one. I'm just saying you're entering a bad spot when you punish people for things you think they might do.
So how many men are you fucking behind your bf's back? No one is perfect, right?
Well first of all I'm a guy, who's been cheated on before.
Er.... you need to find a new marketing department, because you aren't advertising yourself well.
why dont u guys go make a post on rp women and let the smarter ones unpack this for u cus u obviously have no clue.
I'm honestly lost as to whether you're agreeing or disagreeing with me, or addressing me at all.
And we're honestly at a loss as to what the point of your post was.
You seem to be lost altogether. Your "thoughts" and "opinion" are beyond worthless here.
Leave.
That's fine I just want to engage in conversation that has some depth to it because I'm lonely.
Actually no this is not satire. It is a common occurrence. Might not be posted to Reddit every single time it happens, but it is a common occurrence.
As far as for us being wannabe sociopaths.....well, if knowing what women think, how they act, and knowing the proper course of action to both makes us sociopaths......then I'll be one ALL M'FN DAY LONG!!!!!!
The very fact that you apparently have BUTTHURT for the not so innocent lil victim in this situation tells us ALL we need to know about you and your mindset. Let me guess.........this happened to you at some point? Wanted to branch swing and got shut down did you???
Actually the opposite, she wanted an open relationship and I hate the idea of that personally so I said no. She ended up cheating. I still think communication is necessary.
I HATE WOMEN REEEEEEE THEY NEED TO KNOW THEIR PLACE!
The right thing to do? Maybe, but we don't know the real reasons of her request. Just a slutty fantasy or a couple doomed since the beginning? Maybe this dude didn't even bang her regularly and she though this shit was going to be the ultimate solution for her deadbed situation.
Will he regret it? Definitely. He will be alone for a long time.
All the next sluts that he will bang won't be better than his wife.
It was his girlfriend, not wife. Far less dramatizing and way easier to break. He'll be fine.
He dodged a bullet. Even if the woman was 10/10 it would not have been worth it. There are more than enough women on this planet.
I think you haven't taken the red pill properly yet. Look at the side bar.. under "New Here" and "Theory Reading" there is more than enough info to tell you why you are wrong.
Something something projecting.
Your handle is about right. Get the fuck back outside. You don't belong here.
When you ask for strange dick it's because you want strange dick in you. She isn't looking for dick to do photo modeling or as a paint brush.
Hmmmm......so is that what happened with your mom???