Settle in for story time. It's a long peice, so if you don't like reading, you should make your exit now.

Standing outside of a bar in a busy college town, breathing poison into my lungs and minding my own business, a young attractive woman approached me and spoke the following words, "we can fuck, it's cool."

To say I was taken aback, would be putting it mildly. She was drunk, as was I, and let's be clear - I'm no saint. You better believe I took that girl home and fucked her brains out. It was a perfect example of a situation that RARELY, if ever, happens. Why was I chosen? I honestly don't know, but judging from the things she said during sex, I'd gamble that she thought I resembled somebody she knew.

Women may/will approach you, but the chances that they will offer up moist pussy on a platter with absolutely no provocation on your part is highly unlikely, to say the least - so you're left with only one real option.

Approach.

This brings us to the Field Report proper.

Last night was a productive one. I approached a bevy of attractive women, and struck out nearly every time - and couldn't have had a better night. Don't worry, I'll go into detail.

First and foremost, I suggest to every man here that before he sets out for the evening, to get the conversational juices flowing. This can be achieved simply by hanging with friends or even at work in your dealings with co-workers or customers. This buffer, will make your endeavors for the evening that much simpler.

After a thorough "buffing", I was in the spirit to mingle. I had attempted to meet with friends, but got nothing but half commitments. I invited a potential plate to hang, but she was just another flaker (soft next for now).

Solo mission it is, then. I'm fine with this, as I don't need to depend on the energy of a wing to find my stride.

First approach of the evening went as thus. I was grabbing some fresh air outside of a club, and a trio approached - a man and two women. I approached the group, and opened with an organic introduction. I asked the man if he and the girl I had targeted were "wifed up". Turns out, they actually were married. I turn to her friend. "Cool, that leaves us open to have a little chat." Her eyes seemed to sparkle.

We chatted for a time outside. All the while she gave me IOIs in the vain of laughing at my jokes, and inquiring bicep grabs. Eventually we all go inside the club. I have my drink, and I see she's procured one for herself. I walk over and say "I see you've found your lubricant." This earns me another giggle. We banter for a bit, and I grab her hand to lead her to the dance floor. She seems hesitant at this point - almost apologetic.

She reveals to me after a few attempts at leading her, that she and I "play for the same team." Normally I would try to flip that and persist with something like "perfect, we have something in common, this is progress," but the hour was late, so I simply said (with a cocky smirk on face) "if I had I nice pair of boobs and a vagina, you'd so be mine," and gracefully disembarked. That last bit by the way is a partial incorporation of one of Mystery's lines; it sounds a little corny, but I've found variants of that line to be effective at swaying minds or prolonging a conversation.

Anyway, I'm at the bar sipping some quality H20. An attractive Hispanic chick sidles up to the rail. I open her, and we share a few brief words. When I asked for her name, she responded with, "I don't have one." Haha, I've legitimately never heard that one. Her bitch shield level was over 9000. I chuckled, and kept it moving. Change of scenery perhaps?

Venue change.

The next bar is a favorite of mine - dark and sexy with good atmospheric music. A buddy of mine is standing outside and we greet each other enthusiastically. A woman steps outside and catches my eye. My buddy saw the twinkle in my eye, so he said peace, and that we should meet at the bar around the corner later. Yeah ... maybe.

I approached the woman who had just exited the bar. She was lighting a cigarette. Normally I don't go for smokers, but this girl was tall, blond, petite yet shapely, had a slight polish accent, and was a total fox - a solid 8.7 (yeah). My word for word opener: "hey skinny girl, come talk to me." She did.

Smokers love company, and I asked her if she had a light. She did. She was my cute little smoking buddy for the next ten minutes. She was giving out super obvious IOIs throughout. She was giggling at my jokes, blushing at my boldness, flipping her hair, touching my arms, and she even tousled my exposed chest hair without asking, which I naturally reprimanded her for by pulling her close and giving her a light snack on the hand ;) She was fucking loving my game. And with that tight body, and cute giggle, I was loving her too - the things I would've done to her.

The conversation ends when she tells me she's going back inside to play pool. I respond with "maybe I'll see you in there, and if you wanna get beat in a quick game, all you need is ask - drinks are on the loser." This cheeky remark earns me another sexy giggle and some nice lingering eye contact before she disappears inside.

The bar in question is in the downstairs area of an office building. In the foyer were two dudes. One of them looked me in the eyes and said, ID. I complied, not knowing that it was his associate that was the actual bouncer. He chuckled at his cleverness. Ha ... good one, buddy - luckily I'm a good sport, and I've adopted a DGAF attitude. This interaction segued into a freestyle rapping session between the jokester and I that afforded me the opportunity to spit some quality bars - and I don't want to brag, but I'm nice with it.

Killed the impromptu cypher, and left the jokester and the bouncer upstairs, and headed down to the bar. The pool tables are immediately to my right when I enter, and I spot Sexy Polish Girl with some boring looking older dude that is clearly her date for the evening. We make eyes, but she's not likely to jump ship mid date, so I keep it moving. Oh well, but I'm pretty sure my thumb would've been in her butt that night had we met under different circumstances.

At the bar I order myself a double Jameson (neat) in the spirit of St. Paddy's weekend. I lock eyes with a sultry looking brunette. I grab my Jame-o and waste no time in opening her. She takes the bait. We converse for a bit. I make an environmental observation about the fact that they're playing anime on the tv (hipster bars, man), and she remarks on it as well. But there was just no chemistry. Basically she was boring, and didn't seem to know how to hold a conversation, or she was just plain not interested - either way, I bailed on that encounter.

Venue change 2.

Another dark bar. I find these venues to be equally beneficial for both men and women. Everybody is way more attractive in low lighting, and you can worry about how ugly or super hot someone is when the sun is shining through your bedroom window.

This place really had nothing going for it. Lotta dudes. If it weren't for the fact that I've pulled there before, I would've mistaken it for a gay bar. The majority of females present were in cramped booths with more dudes. Opening sets like that are not only a time investment, but an energy investment, and I lacked the temperament for it at the time. So I just sat at the bar and chatted up my cute bartender - planting seeds for future encounters and building rapport with the local watering hole staff.

Venue change 3.

About 30 minutes till last call, so I decide to make my final stand at a club with a cheap entry. H20 firmly in hand, I hit the dance floor and start vibing. I make eyes with a solid 7.5 - a tiny, little bit of pudge in the stomach, perky tits, and her face and, most importantly, her ass were immaculate. I bop my way over to her.

Now as a warning, I would suggest never approaching women on the dance floor unless you're wiling to show her your moves. It's hard to lead a girl away from the dance floor, let a lone know whether she can hear you or not. You want to bring her to a secluded corner? You're gonna have to impress her with your swag. I'm a solid dancer, so this does not intimidate me.

The 7.5 was immediately receptive to my mating dance, and we got busy on the dance floor. The dancing became very physical, with plenty of ass grabbing on my part. I felt confident to go in for a kiss, and was legitimately about to when her cock blocking friend approached us with tears in her eyes; (coulda gone and cried on some chads cock, but noooo, you wanna come over and block mine). My dance partner disappeared with her pitiful friend in tow. And that was that.

At this point, the lights were turning on, and I was good and whiskied. Got an uber, and went the fuck home. Was a great night.

Lessons learned: -You'll never know what could've happened unless you approach. Don't be scared, just approach and open. What's the worst that could happen?

-You may occasionally talk to a woman that claims to "not have a name" when you ask for it ... good, at least that bitch isn't wasting your time.

-Amp up your interactions with women before you go out by "pre gaming" conversations throughout your day. Got friends? Hang with them and feed off of your shared energy. These tactics make your interactions with women feel more organic and free flowing.

-Rejection is good. Why? Easy ... because it means you approached. While Joe Nobody was just standing around with his thumb up his ass, you were making moves. So please, go forth and continue to get rejected - but observe each interaction and learn from them. Do this and watch your game begin to take form. You fail, so that you may win.

The usual caveats: -Lift -Eat well -Be outgoing -Have good style -Drink more water (can't stress this enough) -Step your game up

tl;dr? Too bad. Read the whole thing or fuck right off - and I say that with love.