I write this from a very weird place in my life. In the middle of what I now know is depression, I realize how much I have fallen. I was at the ‘top’ not too long ago, at least on an external level. Being the captain of a top D1 college soccer team, an international student well known on campus, top grades in my master’s program dating arguably the hottest girl on campus, life was good to me. We are all brought here united through posts probably due to a girl who ripped our hearts out or those who simply think they got it all together and want to help others.
Fast forward two months, the girl that I was with has now ended it with me and is talking to her ex again and other guys entering her CockCarousel years. I graduated from my master’s program with no job prospects and no idea what I want to do. My soccer eligibility is now over meaning the highest level of sports I will ever compete in is over. I have lost 8 kilograms, I cannot bare to look at myself in the mirror, I do not want to leave my bed, I talk to no one anymore and my teammates do not even know I left the country or seem to care. This is not meant to be a sob fest, I apologize if it comes across like one, but I’m stuck. I don’t want to group all of us together, some of your guy’s lives are exceptional, for the ones struggling like me, are we the failed ones? We write how the best times of our years are yet to come, but, I cannot imagine life getting better than what I just had. Banging girls in college, being the man on campus, girls coming to me because of my status, the options, the social status I had.
I returned to Europe a few days ago, leaving America behind and any future I had there over. Still thinking about this girl who messages me and now says she misses me, I question every decision I have made. I have now been put on anti-depressants, barely functioning and able to talk due to the fact that I have no direction, no purpose, and think of this girl daily fighting my intentions, like a leaf in the middle of a windy storm I do not know where I will land. Sometimes, I think about taking my own life, because simply living has become hard. Deep down I have felt this way for a while. Waking up and making food which doesn’t want to go down me is hard to digest. Showering, shaving, is almost as hard as figuring out an algebraic formula. I’m lost. I’m scared. I read your posts every day and I wonder if they are posted to make us feel better. I see my friends happy with girls for a few years that they plan to marry. Here I am at 25, alone, no job, no direction, back in my parents’ house, literally melting away, wondering if I can go on like this for much longer.
I have failed.
[–]Modredpillschool147 points148 points149 points (86 children) | Copy Link
[–]PranksterLad[S] 12 points13 points14 points (83 children) | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] 14 points15 points16 points (73 children) | Copy Link
[–]Modredpillschool64 points65 points66 points (56 children) | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] 2 points3 points4 points (47 children) | Copy Link
[–]Modredpillschool14 points15 points16 points (40 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Senior Contributordr_warlock3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PranksterLad[S] 5 points6 points7 points (35 children) | Copy Link
[–]VTMSCHVSVCTRY points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]whythecynic7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]PranksterLad[S] -1 points0 points1 point (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Dartex4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy11 points12 points13 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Willow-girl26 points27 points28 points (31 children) | Copy Link
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[–]1OneRedYear25 points26 points27 points (24 children) | Copy Link
[–]PranksterLad[S] 5 points6 points7 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]HopelessDistraction14 points15 points16 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lsegundo5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Rando9937 points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor8 points9 points10 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Senior Endorsed Contributormax_peenor9 points10 points11 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]B1k3_Ch41n0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]daveitwisconsin-14 points-13 points-12 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]PranksterLad[S] 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]BoobToArmRatio11 points12 points13 points (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]1Entropy-711 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] 3 points4 points5 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShadyShopkeeper points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]psychonauticusURSUS4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Rockefeller342 points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]Lsegundo3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]SaltHallonet3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]nicetimeisback points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]HateBeast805 points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[+]PranksterLad[S] -6 points-5 points-4 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Duppyconq47 points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]Hillarysdilddo_20162 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PranksterLad[S] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hillarysdilddo_20161 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]AnnaDrawl points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] 0 points1 point2 points (28 children) | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ShadyShopkeeper points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]PranksterLad[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1scissor_me_timbers000 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]wonderingwhether540 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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