Where do I begin? Pretty much my first post here so I’ll just start firing away. I may jump around so if something doesn’t make sense, please ask as a follow-up. I’m a 41 yo male who left my ex-wife of 18 years last fall with two kids (15y/o girl and 12 y/o boy custody the majority of the time) after she stepped out a few years ago, I waited because of timing.

I’ve got a fantastic and stable career with occasional travel, the only downside is that my schedule is not very flexible and my days off and downtime are ALWAYS different. That said, I’ve really only recently entered the dating world around late February at the recommendation of a younger colleague…little did he know what he was unleashing.

My first marriage began due to a situation where my ex and I “had” to get otherwise the opportunity would have passed (military, no not because she was pregnant). We were very young, me early 22ish and her 19. We immediately got stationed overseas and began chasing our careers. Next step have a baby. We did that then came along the second shortly after returning stateside. Living life, I was on a work trip and got a call her crying she had stepped out. You kinda go into protect this house mode and really don’t understand how you’ll REALLY feel until it happens to you. Few years pass and I met someone online/RL and I realize that I never had a courtship with my ex and that…we just checked boxes along the way with absolutely NO courtship at the beginning or really even along the way. So once the smoke all cleared of daycare, no more chasing careers for either of us and financial stability, I left.

We’re both fine financially stability wise, the kids are fine and adjusting (tho she’s been in a couple of LTR’s already as she puts it in everyone’s face) and me like I said before I’m just starting to dabble in the game. So one thing I realized I never had was…”the courtship”.

I can’t remember precisely when I stumbled onto TRP but I’ve been lurking and reading and lurking more. No doubt a lot of this shit is SPOT ON…! So again a younger buddy at work said, why don’t you try a few of these apps out there and get out and meet some new people. So I did, with my intention being adult interaction outside of my professional and (my ex and I’s) personal circle. My schedule really doesn’t allow me to join a league (softball, bowling, etc) so this is the approach I had to take. First I downloaded the Tinder app and then Bumble. Clearly Bumble has a lot more appeal. Tho I still was gravitating toward my first few meets from Tinder. The first wow, YIKES…yea nothing like her pictures. I’m too nice, even today and ended up giving a second mercy date as just something to do. That was just before Valentines day, no boys I didn’t invest…haha…NO WAY. Then I started chipping away at the list talking to a few here and there but my schedule never working with only a rare exception. Two pieces, I was having the kids more often and only starting to get comfortable with just going out and meeting someone randomly.

That wasn’t me before. I’ll fast forward now, since I have 6 repeats this week with a new entry this Sunday. I’ve gravitated toward Bumble more as they seem more stable and seem to have more depth. Here’s where I’m gonna be all over the place. I have a couple of regulars, specifically one from Tinder – she’s a professional in the health care industry and has a couple of teenage daughters my kids age. Looks, at 42 shes’s easily an 8+, is easy to talk to and has essentially been single for a couple of years. She seems to have many of the same Issues I do in the work/kids commitment arena in that there’s no time to have a LTR as we live about 45 minutes from each other (no I don’t want a LTR yet). Then My current #2 is a foreign born citizen from one of the lower Soviet Bloc countries and is SeXy AF (I swear it’s her voice – that and she’s had some work done). The first from Tinder the second from Bumble. As for the other “plates”…it’s kinda more random and something to just keep me busy. There’s definitely a range amungst the literally dozen or so I’m currently talking to.

I’ve probably met 8 or so with 3-4 I kinda dabble with in the random back and forth without committing to actually meeting. I know, I need to drop a few but I figured as I solidify that foundation, maybe I can come back to them If I just wanted to keep them in the dugout until it’s time to call them up for a play date. One thing I’m realizing tho, unless I keep dabbling with them…they’ll likely lose interest and move on. Let me say this, I honestly at this point DO NOT see a LTR with any of them.

Could I do it with one of maybe a few…yea..but I don’t wanna just do it. Finding someone that truly knocks your socks off is kinda like porn…”you know it when you see it”. So until then, I’m just keeping myself busy with learning what I like because I definitely know what I DON’T like. You know pretty quickly within one date whether she’s worth the LTR or if it’s just something to do. That said, I have a pretty good feeling that very soon, I’ll be trimming the fat and letting them drop via attrition.

Yea, I still don't know WTF I'm doing...but it's FUNNNNN