It's been a crazy past two months for me. I have been busier than ever, balancing making money and having a healthy personal life. I had a very enlightening experience some time back, and whilst it's taken me longer than I thought it would to find enough time to sit down and share it here, I also think the amount of removal has granted me an additional bit of insight. So, here it is.
I've been doing a lot of consultancy work lately, as part of padding my income. It is actually in line with my degree, and has been more enjoyable than I thought it would be. I was consulting for one throughout April, which meant working at their offices. Now, I follow one of TRP's basic tenets, which is to never dip my pen in the company ink, even if the company just happens to be a temporary one. I have been making a consistent effort to widen my network and good relations, so any potential disturbance in the form of a bitter lover is the last thing I need.
April is, of course, where Easter falls, which means valuable days lost to a bank holiday. With this in mind, I spent the first half of the month busting my ass to try and get as much work done to ameliorate the days that would be lost to the holiday. The organisation I was consulting for of course recognised this as well, and decided to hire temporary support staff to oil the process along. This is where the fun began.
They hired two additional consultants to help with the work. One of them was a girl I went to varsity with, and had had a fling with before I met my current LTR. We had simply fallen out of contact, though we had hooked up once or twice when we bumped into each other. It had been over a year since we'd last spoken though. I thought very little of it when she came on board; I was grateful for the help, and this would at least save me time on getting accustomed to new co-workers.
We worked well together for the first two or so weeks. She is an industrious one, with a sharp eye for detail, and her contribution really helped move things along. Neither of us even mentioned our previous liasons, which I took as a sign of her having moved on. An overheard conversation mentioning a fiance confirmed this for me. Bully, I thought. On with the plot.
Fast forward to the last day before Easter. It's late and everyone else has gone home except for me, the former FWB, and the other consultant guy. Around 8, he goes home to his family, promising to do the work over the holiday. The girl and I both resolve to stay and finish as much as we can before heading home. She promises to drop me off if we finish too late.
We work well for another hour or so, before deciding to take a break. During the break, we have our first real conversation since starting work together. Turns out she's been engaged to this guy for about nine months now ( which, according to my timeline means he proposed after a few months, or, more likely, he was already in the picture during our trysts--fun times). She says he's great, and she's really looking forward to the the wedding and all that. Now, if you have been around women enough, you learn how to read them easily enough. I can tell shes holding something back, and I shoot her with a casual 'You sure?' She hesitates, but eventually spills that she's not sure whether she's ready to be someone's wife and all entails. She tells me that she still wants to have fun and maybe wait until thirty. Says she's got a bit of "unfinished business" she has to take care of, too. That last bit is delivered as she's leaning against the boardroom table, giving that look girls from the movies always shoot when they're trying and failing at being subtle about wanting you. You know the one.
The conversation steers to me and I inform her that I'm still with my LTR. She is amazed at this, cause I never seemed like the type, or "maybe it was just her". I shrug, and tell her it's no big deal. She asks if I still make time for fun on the side, and I shrug again, because I'm really not enjoying this conversation. I tell her she's gonna have to find out for herself, and settle back into work. In hindsight, I really shouldn't have said this, because I'm 99% sure this was what gave her encouragement.
We grind out the work for over another hour, before we're both satisfied enough with the work to be able to leave it for Easter. I tell her to get ready as I go to the bathroom to freshen up before we leave. I get back to the boardroom, and she hasn't put on her coat or grabbed her stuff or anything. Instead, she's sitting on the boardroom table right by my stuff, feet on one of the chairs, texting on her phone. I don't need to tell you what this means(If I do, then please, get more experience with women.) I go to get my stuff and she tells me we can't leave yet because she has to pick up a friend from somewhere and it'll be a few more minutes. Another moment of hindsight: I really should've just called an Uber at this point, but my brain was so fried it just didn't occur to me. Instead, I just sit down, lean back, and close my eyes. I start dozing off a little, till I'm woken up by a sensation running up up my leg. Our girl is sticking her toes up, tracing up the outside of my thigh. She says she's though about me a lot, and that us working together brought back a lot of feelings she didn't realise she still had. She wonders if we can have some more of our old fun. (We had a lot of public sex back when we hooked up regularly.) I tell her that's probably a bad idea, given where we are. She tells me that that's what makes it more fun. She moves to come and sit right in front of me, leaving no real room for interpretation. My mind is going through all the possible scenarios here. Truth is, I'm too tired to really have clear thoughts. I do know that I have zero interest in having sex with this girl, regardless of the context. But I need to steer this so it doesn't seem like I'm rejecting her. I bring up her fiance and she says that I was a round before he was, and 'first come first served' (huh?). I bring up that it's a bad idea, and she mentions how we used to do this all the time. I realise I'm making no progress here and excuse myself again, telling her I just need to freshen up again. I try to regain composure in the bathroom, and head back to the boardroom. She has a couple of her shirt buttons undone at the top now. Subtle
Me: Look, this really isn't a good idea. Her: I know, which is what makes it fun.
She gets up and slides right up to my face on her tiptoes. She tries to kiss my neck, and I gently slide away (benefits of being tall).
Me: We're both in commited relationships. You're getting married, for fuck's sake. Her: Let me worry about that.
She slides up to me again, and runs her hands up my obliques and lats. She whispers something about how I've been putting in more work in the gym, and she can't wait to see it all. At this point, I abandon all diplomacy and tell her straight up that I don't want to sleep with her. Ho boy.
She recoils, look of disbelief in her face. She asks if I think she's not pretty anymore. I don't answer, because that is a classic little bit of bait. My silence just seems to anger her, as it does for all women. She goes on a freaking tirade. Calls me all sorts of names. Accuses me of lying about having a girlfriend, and says that she never wanted to believe the rumours about me being gay back in college, but I'm probably getting "plugged in the butt like a fucking daffy." She spits out some more choice words about me. Tells me that she only ever slept with me because she just wanted to find out what it was like to be with a golliwog, but I couldn't ever satisfy her because I have a tiny dick anyways. She tells me to go fuck myself with my little dick. grabs her stuff, and storms out.
I'm left standing there, a sort of numbness over me. What on earth just happened? I gather myself enough to call an Uber, and I'm home in about an hour. I'm so tired I just go straight to sleep.
Aftermath: She acted normal after the holidays, kept everything strictly professional. Avoided me like I was the black plague; left after the assignment ended.
I didn't take time to really reflect on what happened until life became less hectic. This girl is the epitome of an open-minded, liberal person. Always in support of equal rights for women and minorities and all that. And yet, all it took was simple rejection from a guy in a relationship for her to sink to calling me the most offensive names available--the basic equivalent of nigger.--and accuse me of being gay. She was so riled up about me not wanting to sleep with her that she turned into an incredibly ugly person in a matter of minutes. Rejection was such a novel experience that she couldn't even process it in any rational form. And they say we're the ones who don't take being told 'no' very well.