My ex wife "talked me" (read: nagged, bargained, sex'd, nagged, bargained, begged, rationalized, nagged) into doing things that were against my financial principles on many occasions. Now, I certainly held my ground on many of them but I gave in on a bunch over the years as well ("gotta keep the peace" type mentality.....ugh).

The worst of these was the last house we lived in. We went from a nice, reasonable, easily paid mortgage on a nice little house (brand new.....she had to have that at least) and saving a thousand dollars a month each (plus being able to buy ourselves little things here and there as well as going out for dinners and such) to being locked into an INSANE mortgage on a gorgeous, gigantic, pointless house that forced both of us to work more hours and took us from saving all that money to barely breaking even every month.

Now this house was GORGEOUS. And I didn't give a single FUCK about that. While she danced around the place taking pics for facebook and bringing friends over to show it off I worried about our future and constantly asked myself what the fuck I got myself into. I was ALL ABOUT saving and minimizing debt and work hours. And here I was working more, saving barely anything and all I had to show for it was a giant house I didn't give a fuck about or need. Like, yay, we have six empty rooms that are costing me hundreds of dollars a month each and extra days at work/lost free time (aka my freedom).

Well, we're divorced and I live in a 40 year old little house that is well maintained but definitely not magazine material. It's clean, it's small, it's utilitarian and it's all mine. My mortgage is totally reasonable (I could rent an apartment for not that much less than the price of my mortgage) and I am saving money again.

The best part though? I was able (slowly) to cut back on work hours again and I am now at the point that I work four days a week and have a three day weekend every week! FREEDOM! PEACE! TIME TO BREATHE!

I'm aging very well (not saying I am some stud but I look great for 37) and I am at ease. My ex wife? She ages three years for every year that goes by and her fiance went from being better looking than me and in better shape (she did well for herself) to an exhausted looking guy with an extra twenty or so pounds of fat on him. Why did this happen?

Well......DUH! She had to get an even BIGGER house! They have an absolutely incredible home (seriously, I'm no materialist and I feel literally zero envy but it's a stunner!) and it's destroying the both of them. I don't even take any satisfaction from this: she's absolutely an AWALT but a fairly reasonable one who has been pretty damn easy to deal with both during and since the split (we have shared custody of our daughter so I still deal with her). And he seems like a good dude and he treats my daughter well. So I'm not happy about this but reality is what it is and they are both hurting. That house is like a vampire, sucking the life force out of them and they are looking worse and worse as time passes.

I feel so unbelievably fortunate to have escaped that life. Too much focus on all the wrong things and I guess there won't be any realization of this until it's too late (deathbed regrets at best). How many guys out there are being sapped of all their vitality by their vampiric, materialist "life partners?" Millions? Billions? It's sad man. Very sad. We get one life (presumably) and the whole thing gets wasted chasing a bullshit dream- the dream of "making it."