Good evening,

I've put Part 1 in the comments - as a primer, just let me be clear that I at no point assert that any of the below statements are either unbreakable or prescriptive Laws and I am very much aware that there is more than one way to skin a cat – regardless, these points have proven to be good advice – so take whatever value from them that you will.

To business then…

  • You’ll be tempted to think “I just need to be dominant” – Yes – but be mindful of not being overbearing. Have a solid presence and frame, don’t over-react to anything she does or says, don’t let her steer the conversation away from you achieving your goal but, do not try and “Alpha” her with a too-forceful personality – think assertive, not bullying, or even firm not forceful.
  • Don’t be too concerned aboutwhat she says, rather how she says it (body language, tone, inflection). Because she’s trying to seem a lady after all…. And if you’re wondering why this wasn’t on the first piece, its simple; some new guys need all the practice available. Also know that she’s got a right not to be interested in you and if every part of her screams “I’m not into this conversation!” then don’t be afraid to give up and move on, why waste time?
  • Again regarding dominance – don’t be sombre, don’t be sour and don’t be pushy (or rather, don’t demand big compliance right away). You’re looking to be dominant in and of yourself and of the interaction, not dominant of her in this specific moment. You should be aiming for a warm, teasing-flirty demeanour but with a passionate, steely core and strong spirit clearly evident underneath (IE, be playful and seductive ideally, but no matter what, at least avoid seeming joyless) – I’d say you need to work on self-development a little before you can nail this. Basically; hold frame but with some descriptive meat on the bones.
  • I’d recommend adopting a “low energy” vibe when you’re prepared to go with “any woman, anywhere interactions”. It’s far more masculine and a much easier sound-bite to remember than “I’m supposed to do this, stand here, say that and avoid that.” No one wants to be around the wiry, nervous, overly-energetic guy anyway and most women are normally buzzing somewhere in the middle of the energy spectrum, so be the Yin to her Yang.
  • Making her laugh her ass off means nothing. Provided you are not stood there as grim as the desert sands then she’s going to be able to get a measure of you and see if you’ve got a good sense of humour, so don’t try and prove it with every other sentence. Some people believe this is bad for sexual tension anyway because anyone can make her laugh; you’re trying to bang her….I don’t personally buy into that wholeheartedly, however…
  • The least respected person in the King’s court is the Jester. Please gentlemen, bear this in mind at all times and in all things. It’s always better to act the gentleman over playing the fool.
  • Become absorbed in what she’s saying, don’t focus on YOU when you’re talking to HER. I know some guys like to think that talking to the girl is all just froth (cos t’hamster) but you can really get her going if she believes you’re truly into her and care about what she’s talking about…which you should, it’s not much fun for either of you if you’re not.
  • In all things relating to you and your life it should be implicit value over explicit value…
  • …Let her dig, let her discover, let her probe and tease you and be amazed by all the interesting things you’ve done and the achievements you’ve accumulated. Don’t just vomit your Harvard degree, BMW car keys, Jiu-Jitsu trophies & Beach House all over her with your opening…
  • Re points 8-9; can we all agree that women love ambitious men? So make sure you drip-feed into the conversation all of the activities you’re currently undertaking to move your life forward, skills you’re refining, travel experiences/plans you’re making and your long-term goals.
  • If you like to get women investing in you (assuming you all know this term?) then it’s sometimes a cool idea, if you’re going to be in the club/bar/café for a set amount of time (for whatever reason) to suggest she goes and gets you both another drink or something. Just give her a cheeky wink and maybe say “Come on, pretty girls always get served fastest.”
  • When you’ve built up familiarity and perhaps led her away to a more quiet spot don’t be afraid to start touching her. I’m NOT advocating blind groping or doing this unless you’ve become comfortable with each other, I don’t want anyone saying I landed them in jail or earned them a slap.
  • No matter what; do not let her rattle you. I don’t care if she’s dropping the fact she’s about a week away from curing cancer or that she’s going to fight for the UFC Women’s Title next Saturday….maintain your frame in the face of both adversity and surprise. Avoid incongruence in what you’re saying and how you’re appearing/knowledge you claim to possess.
  • Escalation is essential and should be a constant factor – see Part 1 for more on that.
  • Sounds tacky and rote but you really shouldn’t be “settling” for a phone number or a hook-up next Friday etc. Go for her returning to your place or vice versa. You aren’t “tricking” the woman into having sex with you and don’t assume to tell her what’s best for her.
  • KEY POINT 1: Don’t see this list as something you must “proceed” through, think of it more as a book that’s lesson you can wield at any moment in time or in any conversation. If the girl likes you and is hinting she wants to go somewhere with you then go, don’t spin out the conversation unnecessarily trying to prove to her you’re a great conversationalist.
  • KEY POINT 2: Don’t worry about hitting every note pitch-perfectly. Interactions with women you’re interested in are a test, yes, but they’re not an exam. You can fuck up on everything and yet if you’ve endeared yourself enough she’ll still probably be interested. If you’re struggling to know what I mean by that then I’ll sum it up – avoid incongruence, don’t play the powerful man and then be nervous in speech, don’t talk yourself up then shit your pants when she says “Right, bathroom and BJ then?” and don’t tell her you’re interested in what she’s saying and then pull your smartphone out and start scrolling your Facebook feed.

Let me state again – this is advice not a proclamation of a non-negotiable set of rules - I don’t mind people disagreeing with me or supplementing what I’ve wrote, but I find it baffling when people expect me to 'Die on a Hill' for guidance that is truly subjective and by no means guaranteed to work every time.

Catch you later, you Mucky Little Bastards.