335,274 posts

How to beat Addictions (Gaming, Porn, Smoking) - The Story of a Man who turned his life around

by Inchado on /r/TheRedPill
24 June 2017 04:26 PM UTC

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Two years ago, I was a college skinny beta failing grades left and right and playing videogames for hours daily.

Today, I’m 2 years into lifting, I have a great GPA in a STEM course and I’ve plated several women this last year.

If there’s a single thing I can attribute my newfound success to it would be the way I managed to beat my addictions and how that process shaped me into a man.

Life as an Addicted Beta:

Try to picture what the life of a skinny beta these days looks like in your mind. Chances are that would have been me.

The average 5’11’’ white guy who spends hours playing League of Legends, taking a few breaks to masturbate to niche porn, failing college, eating shit and smoking his lungs away.

My life was a loop of short-term pleasure and long-term failures. When you’re addicted to something, nothing in life seems interesting besides that thing you’re addicted to. In my mind I wasn’t even addicted, I just assumed that’s how life was.

Everything is boring as fuck and uninteresting besides videogames. I distinctly remember thinking how shitty the lives of past generations must have been without the true joy of life: gaming.

Turning Point:

After being stuck in that loop for a couple of years, I realized that I hadn’t achieved anything during all that time. I didn’t have any memories and experiences to share. I got older, that’s it. I hadn’t become a better man.

On top of that I was failing college, I was getting depressed, anxious, sleep deprived and I was eating like shit. That day I realized I needed to change my life.

Change the Setting

The way I beat every single one of my addictions was by “changing the setting”. Instead of beating addictions by relying on motivation, guilt or shame, like I had tried and failed before, I created new habits that replaced the old ones.

The first and MOST important habit I decided to create was LIFTING. I replaced gaming afternoon sessions with lifting. I joined a gym that was quite far away from my place, which meant I had to take public transportation to get there.

This meant I spent around 4 hours the entire gym session and the trip back and forth combined.

These were 4 hours that I wasn’t gaming. These were 4 hours in which I was creating the foundations of new habits and simultaneously destroying the old ones.

This is the KEY to beating addictions. If you expect to beat an addiction by remaining in the same environment where that addictive habit lies, you’re going to FAIL.

I had tried to stop gaming multiple times before, but I could never follow through.

You have to physically take yourself out of that environment and most importantly replace it with a new one where you’re creating a new and exciting habit.

Become obsessed with this new habit that you're creating and run with it.

Overtime, my gaming addiction was completely gone. And it all happened almost effortlessly. I no longer wanted to play video-games. I wanted to lift, to listen to podcasts on my way to the gym, to measure my weight and to notice the changes I was seeing in my physique.

I wanted to deadlift while listening to a new metalcore track, seeing the shoulder and chest pump I got after a push workout and to improve my lifts.

I've beaten other addictions like smoking and porn by applying this method. Try it for yourself. I'm planning to share the story of how I turned my life completely around if the community enjoys this post, including field reports on my experiences with women, guides on how to ace college and to remain disciplined, my experiences with networking and developing frame.

TL;DR: College skinny beta addicted to videogames turns his life around by beating his addictions. To beat an addiction, you need to change the setting. Remove yourself from the environment where that addiction exists and replace it with a new one where you create better habits. Lift, motherfuckers.

Post Information
Title How to beat Addictions (Gaming, Porn, Smoking) - The Story of a Man who turned his life around
Author Inchado
Upvotes 1018
Comments 131
Date 24 June 2017 04:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/44247
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6j914n/how_to_beat_addictions_gaming_porn_smoking_the/
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237 upvotesManreforged2 years ago

Seriously well done mate. Kudos.

I lived abroud for three months, the flat had no wi-fi. Most productive 90 days of my life.

75 upvotessoyDonEladio2 years ago

I'm seriously considering selling my smartphone and buy one of those Nokias just because of this. These are some fucked up times.

34 upvotesMetalageddon2 years ago

Do it for a month.

One month each year I monk, which for me includes no business and no internet access. It puts my next year in perspective. Great habit.

2 upvotesPragmaticpandas2 years ago

Sounds in interesting, what do you do during this time? If I had to guess I would say meditate, lift more, spend more time with family friends.

21 upvotesVersaith2 years ago

The first time I moved abroad (China) the company I was working for gave us the modern equivalent of Nokia 3310s with a local sim inside. I left my phone at home.

Those six months were some of the best of my life, and I think not having a smartphone contributed to that. Working through problems like getting lost and language barriers by myself, and striking up conversation with strangers and co-workers much more frequently because I couldn't just hide away on my phone. Downside is I got almost 0 pictures of the trip because I didn't have a camera either.

Life with a smartphone is life on easy mode in so many ways. It makes us lazy and antisocial.

It's great for meeting girls too. You don't even have a chance to get caught in the online communications trap. You meet via a cold approach in real life, since it's the only real way to meet people without apps, and when you want to talk all you can do is send a text asking to meet up. No time wasted on girls looking for orbiters. Automatically weeds them out.

36 upvotesSir_Distic2 years ago

The phone isn't the issue. It's you. Make a point to not check ANY social media on your phone. No games. Only text women who are in your circle of fucking, business people or family. etc.

Use it but in moderation.

25 upvotessamosiazosia2 years ago

It's like saying 'Just eat less' to a fat person. It's true but useless advice. Meanwhile OP delivered actionable advice.

7 upvotesezone2kil2 years ago

Looks like people with inferior self-control is down voting you.

4 upvotesrp_valiant2 years ago

people who already have strong self-control don't need advice.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

True, but ignoring Life Hacks is silly. Especially in the beginning of new habits

Sometimes, Ill fast and skip a day of eating to maintain leanness. I work longer hours those days and refrain from socializing.

Is that cheating not to also attend bbq parties? or Just smart?

8 upvotesOneFourThreeSeven2 years ago

What did you do the pass the time? I'm going abroad for a few months and seriously contemplating leaving my gaming PC , but lifting only takes up about 2 hours of my day.

7 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

I took up model plane making when i changed my habits. Gym and that were fun as hell .

5 upvotesTheWhiskeyTickler2 years ago

Go talk with people and take in the culture of the place you're visiting. I studied in Germany and I wish I would have spent more time just walking around talking to people experiencing the country.

3 upvotesManreforged2 years ago

I started a business. Three years later it's still going!

2 upvotesHassenboy2 years ago

One of the best things I've done was to start taking dancing lessons. It was a natural way to start to spending time with girls. (I never spoke to girls at that point). You talk, you move her around, touch each other and have fun together. And you're probably one of the few men there so all the women are eager to dance with YOU. And you feel great afterwards; it's uplifting.

I've never used it to pick up girls though. I've actually always genuinely wanted to learn how to dance. It's a great skill to be equipped with too.

1 upvotesFuture_Alpha2 years ago

One of the best things I've done was to start taking dancing lessons. It was a natural way to start to spending time with girls. (I never spoke to girls at that point). You talk, you move her around, touch each other and have fun together. And you're probably one of the few men there so all the women are eager to dance with YOU. And you feel great afterwards; it's uplifting. I've never used it to pick up girls though. I've actually always genuinely wanted to learn how to dance. It's a great skill to be equipped with too.

I did ballroom dancing at my university. It was great. First time I went, I danced with a cute chinese girls and told her she'd be my partner. She agreed and we were partners for the entire semester. Second time I went, I danced with a cute Persian chick, after her friend went for another dude.

What I found was that the girls were really into me. I think I could attribute that to either: the fact that we were young or that the touching of dancing made it more intimate - it was a form of escalation.

With the Persian chick, we got to the point where we were always touching. She'd hold onto me even when the instructor was explaining something.

The problem is I didn't learn much dancing, because it was such a basic class. And at my new uni, I took another ballroom class and it was 10 dudes and 2 girls....I dunno wtf was up with that lmao.

83 upvotesFlimFlam_692 years ago

TLDR: Replaces video game addiction with weight lifting addiction

upvotesFloaty_McBoatface2 years ago

yes, but if you're going to have an addiction, better that it's a healthy one.

9 upvotesacetylcysteine2 years ago

No addiction is truly healthy, I'd say 'healthier'

7 upvotesJigsus2 years ago

Some people just need an addiction

7 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

There's a difference between addiction and passion.

3 upvotesnewName5434562 years ago

It clearly formed as response to something - most likely too much free time. If you stopped gaming and changed nothing else, you suddenly would have plenty of it, and you'd wonder what to do with it. Sitting idly doing completely nothing is wasting it irreversibly. At least gaming gave him dopamine rush, and now lifting does.

3 upvotesred-arctic-tern2 years ago

Progress is progress. TRP is a journey of many years.

100 upvotesPewdielockz2 years ago

I hope you will change your passion for riding several hours a day just to lift. While lifting may be good, "traveling" around like this every day ist a waste of time too.

41 upvotesInchado [OP]2 years ago

Yeah, I said elsewhere that I only did that in the first year and a half of lifting because I was able to. This semester I had to move to a gym nearby to be able to invest more time into my college education.

You could have easily replaced that time with a better alternative, like reading a book in a public library or learning how to code for two hours after your lifting session, etc.

4 upvotesobey_kush2 years ago

What if you try calisthenics?

5 upvotesFinnFox072 years ago

Anything that betters your physique betters your confidence. Calisthenics are a great way to get in shape and into the world of fitness. Go for it brother

2 upvotessimple_head2 years ago

I do Calisthenics, it'll give you great results for sure, but not as much as the gym will give you, I joined the gym for a month, I gained a serious muscle mass, 5 kilogrammes, I trained my lats, many people told me that I changed a lot in a month lmao. I didn't take supplements or protein powder tho

13 upvotesEnlightenedViking2 years ago

disagree - that's 2 more hours for you to read, journal, podcast or write.

16 upvotesbookofcookies2 years ago

It is better than being stationary and playing vg all afternoon. Plus, he probably commutes for 30 minutes tops. So just pop a podcast or read a book and enjoy the ride.

29 upvotesCptFizz2 years ago

One of the most important things a person has to realize is that there is a difference between pleasure (food, vidja, drugs, instant gratifications) and happiness (having fulfilling job, a body you feel comfortable in, social life). Once you understand that the short term pleasures prevent you from being long term happy it's much easier to drop them.

13 upvotesSirKolbath2 years ago

I'm glad this worked for you. Question, though: how did you avoid self-rationalizing the desire to NOT go to the gym?

For example, you said your gym was quite a ways away. How did you avoid those days where you simply "didn't feel like" a two-hour bus ride just to work out?

Personally, I work about fifty hours a week, not including the writing time as I try to complete my first novel. I can't imagine scraping another TWENTY hours (assuming five workouts a week like I'm currently doing) just to sweat. How did you stay on course?

14 upvotesInchado [OP]2 years ago

How did you avoid those days where you simply "didn't feel like" a two-hour bus ride just to work out?

My case was very specific. I'm in college and in the first couple of years I had enough time to be able to commute and lift 6 days a week. As I progressed in my academic degree, it became harder to cope with the time I was spending commuting, so I hope I can draw some parallel between what my situation is now and what yours is.

My solution was to switch to a gym near my place, in spite of it being more expensive. This ended up saving me a lot of time, which I could invest elsewhere.

Go to a gym near your place if what's putting you off is the commute.

As for "days I didn't feel like lifting" my answer is: I never had many of those days to begin with. If you're choosing not to resort to gaming, watching porn, or wasting time consuming other short-term gratification bullshit like social media and tv-series, what else would you rather do than lift? None of that garbage will make you a better and stronger man.

I love lifting because it challenges me and makes me better. What kept me going was the progress I was making. If you don't get inspired with the pump you get after a workout, you're not looking ahead enough. I was constantly thinking about how much better my life was becoming. I created a positive feedback loop around lifting in my mind.

I knew that lifting was turning me into a better man. And what man does not draw inspiration from becoming a better version of himself? I also knew the other shit I would be doing would make me a weaker man.

Did I have days where I didn't feel like lifting? Yeah, but I pushed through those rare days thanks to the discipline and the habits that had been so deeply rooted in my daily life.

3 upvotesSirKolbath2 years ago

Thanks. I think I was under the impression that you continued with that distant gym for YEARS and I was like, "How the fuck is this guy getting 27 hours out of every day? What Jedi trick is this?!"

That makes more sense, and I totally agree. Listen to the language people around you use. "I have to go to the gym after work." "I have to get up and work out."

They make it a chore. They make it a Sword of Damocles.

The gym is something you GET to do. Working out is a PLEASURE. It's a TREAT. If you've gotten the rest of your stuff done, you can go to the gym. (Self delusion... I'm going no matter what, but that encourages me to hit my 1k daily minimum writing limit, etc.)

The people who think they "have" to go to the gym are the ones buying memberships on January that are unused by mid February.

3 upvotesSullyBeard2 years ago

The gym is something you get to do... Until you're on a 1000 calorie+ cut trying to drop weight from when you played guard on your colleges football team. Then the gym sucks.

1 upvotesUpvotesfromnowhere2 years ago

Upvoted because though I wouldn't experience this first hand, it was personal and made me feel for the bros out there that had to be heavy for work/sports at some point

1 upvotesSullyBeard2 years ago

Yeah, I deal with it because I know it isn't helthy to live at 280+, I'm working towards 220 right now. Just gotta have a goal, it's a journey. Thanks for the feels though man. I still love the gym, but it gets old cutting for months, while lifting your ass off, only to barely maintain strength.

6 upvotesmenial_optimist2 years ago

Its quite easy. Once you go mon-fri or mon-wed-fri for 3-4 weeks which is the amount of time needed to form a new habit (your brain just creates a new circuit saying "I do this") its automatic. Now on the are occasion I have doubts or pulls from my old ways of being lazy and "I dont feel like it today", it's immediately overpowered by my stronger habit of going regularly to maintain a proper lifting routine.

tl;dr you create a healthy habit or "addiction" that takes 3-4 weeks of repetition that becomes stronger and superior to your old bad habits/addictions.

E.g. my one friend used to eat mcdonalds at least 4-5 days a week. One day he took a break cuz he was bored of it. After a few weeks he had the opportunity to eat it again but didn't because he wanted to see how long he could go. It's now been years and the simple habit of "keeping the streak" away from it has prevented him from relapse.

5 upvotesGhostBrick752 years ago

Discipline helps. If I'm too tired to go to the gym after lifeguarding in 113 degree weather here in Arizona I tend to give myself an extra dose of protein and a small set of 100-200 pushups and crutches before bed. My long term advice to you would be to stop working 50 hours a week and do what is best for yourself. I went from working 7 days a week for 46 hours to taking Sunday's off for myself. I still get 41 and have Sunday to train and get the amount of sleep and social time I need to recuperate.

19 upvotessmfc2 years ago

This sub-reddit is such a joke these days. What started out as decent ideologies just turned into circle-jerking over the same concepts.

TL;DR everything here: Don't watch porn, lift weights, be extroverted, don't take everything personally, backstab others if it can get you ahead in life, don't do drugs but drinking is okay, LIFT WEIGHTS.

12 upvotesSir_Distic2 years ago

How do you suggest we improve the sub then?

3 upvotesbatavianguy2 years ago

I personally agree that the contents are often repeated, but I have no problems with it. It's a nice reminder once in a while. After all, this is a field report not RP Theory so of course it would be repetitive.

Due to the nature of RP ideology there isn't much room for new contents anyway.

1 upvotesselfsufficientnigga2 years ago

The red pill truths are very basic. There's not much room to invent new stuff, so of course most of the discourse will be rehashing, now that the subreddit is decently old + has a lot of members.

upvotesGostkowski2 years ago

I discovered TRP in February last year. I immediately quit all bad habits (counter-strike, weird porn, reddit), started lifting, riding my bicycle, reading dozens of pages of RP material every day. I bought new clothes and new shoes. I made a decision to start with grad school in September. I had so much energy and enthusiasm that I couldn't wait to wake up in the morning and start doing these things. I told myself I'm getting a plate/girlfriend/whatever this year. I cold and warm approached several girls, but ended up with no success. Only rejections, flakes and ghosts. Enthusiasm started to disappear. Even though I improved my physical shape, my appearance, my Game, read thousands of pages of RP material, I just couldn't score. Grad school ended and I'm back in my hometown. After I was flaked and ghosted by a girl earlier this month, I started going back to my old habits - counter-strike, weird porn, going to sleep at 2 am and getting up at 11 am, eating junk food and candies. 16 months invested into self improvement and I got nothing. Right now I'm thinking about quitting with approaches and Gaming girls altogether, and instead I'll just work more and make more money, so I can bang a hooker every two weeks. Knowing I'm definitely getting laid will motivate me to get my shit together. I'm keeping my RP mindset but in practice I've got nothing from it so far.

16 upvotesIka-2 years ago

You have done the reading, but you probably have not incorporated that new knowledge well enough into your actions and your demeanor.

Fuck hookers if you want, but I don't think they deserve your money, at least not that much and not that often

5 upvotesperuvianlurker2 years ago

if what u did didn't work change it, at least u know it doesn't work, dont hard approach girls, u have to expose yourself to them in the right setting that makes u shine, join a club, travel or book any group activity, build new hobbies and u'll naturally get one.

5 upvotesAss-a-holic2 years ago

Sounds similar to the path I took. I quit worrying about girls and instead focused more on work/myself, got a nice 4 dollar an hour raise for my efforts. Now I can afford to bang a nice looking escort twice a month and it has worked out great.

9 upvotesNoFapColdShower2 years ago

My advice, Do that minus the hookers. Keep the lifting up get good nutrition. And go hard with the money so you can move to a city with a good nightlife. Once you're there just wear really nice clothes get a decent car for yourself, and pull up to the club with your nice car, fit body, and nice clothes every weekend. If you do all those things you're guaranteed to pull at least 6s and 7s. 6s and 7s are better than hookers imo. If you're worried about it you just gotta go in there and network and forget about the chicks first couple of times. But I don't see you not getting laid if you get a nice car, nice physique and nice clothes. PUA style approaches are gimmicky at best unless you're already the kind of dude who would slay. You gotta think networking game NOT PUA.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

maybe the dude is miniscule

2 upvotesNoFapColdShower2 years ago

I suspected as much if he was getting non stop rejections. You'd think some 6s would be interested if he had a decent physique. And I don't know about you but guys don't usually start thinking about prostitution until they've been rejected by some UGLY ass bitches. I'm talkin' bottom of the barrel. At that point. It should be pretty clear that you've got a lot to work on.

2 upvotesKarmelion2 years ago

If everything you're doing is just to get women that is pretty pathetic. Do it because you like yourself.

2 upvotescuntrolbot2 years ago

For the sake of general public knowledge, what are your maxes on the major lifts, and what is your height & weight?

1 upvotesDeathToTheZog2 years ago

Not hookers. Research escorts, find something reputable in your area, and shop around a bit. After you sample the buffet, you'll find one you find best. A few calls, and you'll have a regular girl on call. It's a hell of a lot safer then snagging hookers off the intersection.

Plus, the risk of robbery, etc go way down using an escort service. If you maintain, dont become addicted to this, it's not actually a bad move.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Yeah, that's what I meant, call girls. Basically a hooker with a cell phone.

6 upvotesbutter_coffee2 years ago

Interested to hear more on acing college and remaining disciplined I had a brief 6 month period where I was really disciplined and now I need it back

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

I'd love to hear more from you about removing a very bad acne problem this boy also has

9 upvotesHayoojJohnson2 years ago

lol good for you and all. But sad that you're missing out on one of life's true greatest joys: gaming. No amount of pussy or lifting could adequately replace the feelings of joy and satisfaction that games like Skyrim, the Witcher 3, Mass Effect, Pokemon, the Last of Us, Uncharted (the list goes on and on) have given me over the years. I wouldn't give that up for anyone. Least of all some misguided and convoluted notions of what makes a 'red pill alpha'.

I've fucked a number of hot girls. Won trophies and medals playing football. Held down okay jobs. And spent years training with pros kickboxing/boxing and had my fair share of interclub amateur closed door fights in the ring and on the streets. I've kicked alcohol, drug and weed addictions.

I'm no beta pussy like some of the male quims on this sub looking for guidance. But no fucking way would I ever quit gaming permanently. It's genuinely right up there with all the joys life has given me. And abstaining from the things you truly enjoy because some idiots on the Red Pill advise you to does NOT make you an alpha. It makes you fucking sad.

4 upvotesbatavianguy2 years ago

OP said gaming addiction is terrible, not moderate gaming in itself. He's so hooked up to it he didn't have any room for personal growth for two years, failing class, etc. When activities become to ruin your life, you need to cut them down a little.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Good job mate. Inspiring post!

I'm working on an essay about habits at the moment that I should be posting pretty soon.

3 upvotesNothingButFearBitch2 years ago

I dunno dude. Video games were my first true addiction. Then I got addicted to heroin. Now I go hard at the gym, and still play a bunch of video games.

Shit, my friends and I still laugh at the times back when we were teenagers gaming. Shit is still a lol. I'm 27 by the way. So it's not like this was just a few years ago.

I understand the whole people, places, things logic. I've been to rehab a few times. You can apply that logic to not only drugs but pretty much anything.

It's not that I'm not creating memories. But video games just give me something in life that most hobbies/activities don't. Constantly finding a challenge and being engaged enough to be entertained is hard with ADHD. That's why video games are so hard for me to give up.

Sure, I could go play sports. But I'm a point in my life where it's hard to get people together around ideal times for everyone.

And this leads me to where I'm at or environment as you put it. I'm planning on moving near Charlotte NC where I can change the things I need to in order to pursue new hobbies while still fitting gaming in.

But good job on breaking free from your addictions. There is no 100% full proof plan that works on everyone. Sure, there are basic guidelines. But actually finding the new hobbies, people, environments, etc that YOU need is different for everyone. In my experience, that's why people relapse into old habits. They forgot how to have fun without ______. Then they don't invest the proper time into actually finding out what makes them happy in life. Which leads them back to their old habits.

It is possible to go back into old environments. I'm doing it now. You just need enough time a way to establish a new perspective and routine. Otherwise, you will eventually fail.

3 upvotesTenYearsAnIncel2 years ago

So you replaced one addiction with another?

3 upvotesauosie2 years ago

On a real note, very inspiring, I am trying to study math and discipline myself to take my ASVAB test and join the Marine Corps but but find myself watching league of legend videos and thinking about playing constantly I have been saying I am going to study my ads off and really hit it hard but never find myself doing it and it's making me unhappy how do I say fuck it all and just hardcore commit?

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Make sure you stay future-focused instead of focused only in the moment, delayed gratification is more satisfying than instant reward but if you don't tweak your mindset it's damned near impossible.

You also need to maybe alot yourself a certain amount of leisure time each day, for every 2 hours studying/preparing give yourself an hour to watch LOL or whatever.

Don't try and Cold Turkey it straight away.

4 upvotesFrigzy2 years ago

I've been in a similar situation. What got me out was learning game, not lifting.

I know now that the key is not this or that specific type of activity. It's as you say, something you can do obsessively instead. Obviously, being physically removed from you addiction helps, but for me, it wasn't really necessary. Instead of gaming I'd spend hours learning about game online and trying it out in the weekends.

Overall, you simply need to come to terms with your reality in real life, and if you have enough dignity, you will realize this can't go on. After such a realization, you need a purpose. For you it was lifting, for me, game. You need an activity that captivates you and allows you to grow meaningfully in real life.

2 upvotesToFapNoMorelsTheGoal2 years ago

Great post, I'd definitely be interested in hearing more.

2 upvotesNonnel2 years ago

Thank you man. The past two weeks i have been undergoing the process of removing myself from the addiction filled environment I was in and reading this resonates with me as I'm not alone in going through this.

2 upvotesJoJoXPilled2 years ago

I agree with this post but how can you change your setting if you live in the same environment. E.g. I live with my mum but I go off to Uni in September, and I am currently addicted to porn btw.

OP makes an interesting post but lacks details in regards to moving out of the environment as he mentioned spending 4 hours in the gym

I spend most of the time hitting the basketball court. I am 6'2 and very skinny but ripped at the same time. I am very physically fit for a skinny guy. What is the OP advice for solving this temporary issue.

Should I wait until? I go Uni to beat my addiction or try to beat in the the same environment.

4 upvotesSir_Distic2 years ago

Every time you are about to watch porn, close it immediately. Take that time you would watch porn (for example 10 minutes) and use that time to do something constructive that also makes you feel good. Go read an article on a subject you're passionate about, or watch some tutorial videos to be better at basketball, or anything that replaces porn with something else that feels good.

2 upvotesGandalf322 years ago

Whose you're favorite metalcore band right now? And good work brother. Nice post.

2 upvotesFulp_Piction2 years ago

Fair play.

It's all about decisions, and in your gut you know what the right one is. The hardest thing about beating addictions is understanding that the voice in your head, the one that says "one hit doesn't matter", is a liar. Jordan Peterson talks about this, check it out.

The right decision, if you're honest with yourself, is the one you'd make if you had 5 seconds to make it with a gun to your head. Keep making those decisions and you'll move forward.

2 upvotesmindblower2theMAX2 years ago

Yes! very good. You can't really change your habits instantly cause that will certainly fail. For example, choosing to change so many of your habits like overeating,drinking and smoking to exercising,abstinence,etc is a good thing but in fact it will fail because the tendency is that you will get bored and start doing it again. The best way is change your routines and build up on that rather than changing all your habits in one go. Building up on your routines little by little will be more effective. I read this up from a book Source: http://charlesduhigg.com/the-power-of-habit/

2 upvotespawoukcz2 years ago

great post...despite Im lifting 5x a week I still need to overcome internet/social media/porn addiction

staying at home is the worst if you have addiction..

2 upvotesmiddaylantern2 years ago

My dude Overwatch is my addiction right now. I used to be into LoL then Dark Souls. I need a way out too. I'm feeling like my mental capacity is shrinking.

1 upvotesMetalgear2222 years ago

I'm probably the biggest ex-gaming addict in this sub. As such, believe me when I say, set timers on your phone. "I'll play for this much time, when the timer is up I finish my game and go on to [insert pre-designated task here]"

No matter fucking what, you stick to that timer and go do what was planned before you started gaming. Bonus points if you always select something productive for an equal or more amount of time.

2 Hour gaming block followed by 2 hours in the gym.

or vice versa

2 Hours in the gym = 2 hours of game time after you get back and eat your meal.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Does any have any real tips on beating a porn addiction. I can go a week without but without even realizing it a "let me just see if there's something new" turns into a three hour binge. It's my last bad habit and I hate it about myself.

1 upvotesSoulRedemption2 years ago

Are you engaged in any physical activities? Your sexual energy needs to be directed at something if you are not bedding anyone.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

I lift heavy three times a week, I have a plate and a ltr.

1 upvotesSoulRedemption2 years ago

Ah! You need a replacement technique. If you are strong enough you can will yourself not to. Example: when you feel like taking a quick view or watching it, instantly go do something else (away from mobile, laptop or the computer) and keep doing this. Am sure others would have better advise on this but how I stopped it was purely by not doing it.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Give me your quitting smoking tips. Like now...

1 upvotesSoulRedemption2 years ago

I'd say switch to vaping. If you can go a few days or a week without having a single puff, you will realize you hate the smell of smoking. For a week stay away from any smoker friends if you really need to. Nicotine from vaping will hold you on withdrawals. Then start reducing the amount of nicotine in your vaping bit by bit. What worked me (at least for over a year) is that after I switched to vaping I quit cold turkey. Next step was to never have even a single puff from a ciggie when it was offered. Download a quit smoking app and you can see the progress, which gives you some determination to keep achieving the goals.

2 upvotesauosie2 years ago

So I'm gonna say you were high plat possibly Diamond?

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Good book about this called the power of habit.

I'm not affiliated.

2 upvotesInri_magine2 years ago

What could be a good alternative to porn? It's not like i can just not sleep in my bedroom or go to the bathroom (the fap-zone and the fap-while-crap-zone) either.

7 upvotesthe99percent12 years ago

If you wanna beat your gaming addiction, just sell your fucking pc.

Ps4, xbox , you name it, sell it all away.

That will kill your addiction immediately.

And you are right about habits. Another thing ive done too is scheduling my calendar. I make it a point to schedule time in for an hour run a day or gym every other day. No questions asked. I just do it. Wake up early too. 4am or 5am and just go do something physical to start the day with.

18 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

It doesn't work for everyone though; I did that, ended up satisfying my addiction on my less powerful laptop that I used for programming - the only way I actually could get away from whole days used gaming was by joining a gym (with a personal trainer, so I was forced to attend) and joining BJJ.

I coupled that with working on smaller projects like 'use the GitHub API to calculate X for a user' that could be done in a few hours, giving my brain a small reward for actual effort.

Gaming and escapism are some of the most destructive habits, because it isn't 'boring' like taking a bunch of dopamine agonists and re-uptake inhibitors and then doing nothing - you and your body 'know' that it's 'wrong' to get dopamine from nothing. Escapism literally makes your entire reality, past failures and future successes all seem like they are an eventuality; requiring no effort besides just sitting on your ass and assuming they will happen, and that failures were 'meant to be' and required no further effort to turn them into successes.

Lifting and failing the last rep, rolling and getting submitted by a 110 pound girl, struggling with a programming problem until you give up and find another way to solve it - this retrains your brain to accept the reality of life; that failure is a necessary pre-requisite to success.

In games, you can always win, always be the top dog. That is extremely addicting for the kinds of people who usually play video games: those with learned helplessness and repeated episodes of giving up and then not trying ever again, who fail classes and get shit from their parents. Essentially people who are still on some level existing in a very child-like state.

The only way to exit the child-like state of being used to getting what you want is to do the following; attempt, fail, repeat - until success is earned. In that way you gain some self-respect, and any kind of respect is going to be earned, not given.

39 upvotesFrigzy2 years ago

That will kill your addiction immediately.


Your brain's still the same. If you're not careful, it will find a new, more insiduous way to satisfy the cravings.

7 upvoteslardblarg2 years ago

Meh. I still need it to process my photography in lightroom, use a DAW to record and master my music, and as my work station to work on several writing projects. I still lift like 5 times a week and even do some gaming on the side. I also read and play guitar.

The issue is not with the external world, its always just you. Time management aka discipline is what you need. If you think you can overcome your bad desires and habits by isolating yourself from them, you are only punishing yourself and not growing. As soon as you get it back you're going to fall in the same routine.

2 upvotesGhostBrick752 years ago

This is bad. Leaving an empty setting without replacing your addiction will only cause boredom and other addictions like masturbating to increase. Not to mention a little bit of a good thing is great-- I can spend 20 minutes on PC every day and feel refreshed.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

So instead of wasting time playing video games. You wasted time using public transport instead of being productive

2 upvotesKoulyone2 years ago

I don't think he liked hearing that.

1 upvotessamosiazosia2 years ago

Listening to podcasts is kinda productive.

Also, the problem with gaming is not the time. It's the cognitive overload. Therefore wasting time watching a ceiling is far better than playing games.

1 upvotesTaxingbird2 years ago

!remind me 4days aceing college

1 upvotessimple_head2 years ago

not exactly me but, I started lifting when I saw the results my older brother had and how he changed socially, well, I was like "why not?", I didn't join the gym like he did, I started Calisthenics, gym costs a fortune in my country

1 upvotes4skinlicker2 years ago

Obviously it works for you.

But i always tell people to choose gyms close to where you live so you won't be deterred from going.

1 upvotesTastaturri2 years ago

I had to laugh at the metalcore part :D Best lift music ever, what bands are you in to?

1 upvotesFuture_Alpha2 years ago

My addiction to gaming is different than yours. Mine comes and goes, where I binge on video gaming for a week or two (max a month), then get bored and do something else. Overtime the desire returns. Its hard to replace the habit with the gym when you aren't making gainz.

1 upvotesgreatman052 years ago

I'm 5'8", I have a Computer Science degree and several certifications, I have a good job, I'm fairly athletic and I go outside on occasion to enjoy nature. I have plenty of good sex when I want it.

I also smoke tons of weed and play League of Legends on a regular basis.

Why do I need to give that up? What else do I need to accomplish?

1 upvotesberlengas2 years ago

curiously im 5 11' addicted to LoL right now and i am having shit life right now lol. Thanks for the contribution

-3 upvotescirclhat2 years ago

Porn, gaming ,smoking aren't beta

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

You do not belong here fatass.

2 upvotesbluedrygrass2 years ago

Smoking not, but porn and gaming definitely are.

1 upvotescirclhat2 years ago

Every women I date I ask what type of porn do they watch, they always reply with what you expect, and my girl wife loves hearth stone.

In fact every guy I know with a girlfriend games.

Using the definition of beta to try and give you incentive to quit your addiction is blue pill.

upvotesjetpackswaslol2 years ago

I wanted to deadlift while listening to a new metalcore track

What track was it? Can't go wrong with metalcore when it comes to the gym.

3 upvotesInchado [OP]2 years ago

I've been having a blast with the new album by While She Sleeps. Other than that my other favorite bands are 'The Amity Affliction', 'We Came as Romans' and 'Architects'.

Damn right, man. I still get chills thinking back on those winter days where I'd pull my headphones and blast metalcore while deadlifting on a bulk. Good times.

2 upvotestylerclay862 years ago

Wage War is a fucking great one to sling weight to ;)

2 upvotesGandalf322 years ago

I know wage war personally they are great guys and Jeremy McKinnon produced their first album

2 upvotestylerclay862 years ago

Thats whats up. I haven't been able to put their stuff down since it came out, definitely an integral part of my workout jams, tell them to keep up the good work!

2 upvotesGandalf322 years ago

They are a breath of fresh air in the genre and they arent going anywhere anytime soon. I will relay the message thanks for the support!

1 upvotesGandalf322 years ago

Listen to Breakdown of Sanity. Architects and WCAR is good but the track Chapters by Breakdown of Sanity is life.

1 upvotesMetalgear2222 years ago

Just randomly remembered, Lights Out by Breakdown of Sanity and it got me so hyped in the gym last week. Gonna have to revisit that band again.

1 upvotesMetalgear2222 years ago

This is my go to in the gym, old but incredible for heavy ass lifting.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Seriously fuck masturbation, porn and your PHONES. Go one week without your phone and youll be born anew. You have a endless supply of possibilities every day, its amazing, yet true

Good luck folks.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

I'm intrigued that you kicked your bad habits by going out of your way to get to the gym. Definitely runs against conventional wisdom.

1 upvotesTimeleap2 years ago

Awesome post! I'd love to read more from you in the future, as already suggested by you.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

I'm facing the same transition as we speak. It really is just as simple as to fill your down time with something else. I picked up a second job. I'm still a fuckin cigarette smokestack but I just don't have the time or energy to play video games, and after experimenting with not jerking off for a while the distinct difference in my mood got me to quit porn cold turkey. Still jerk off more often than I probably should but never to porn.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

What did you do about all the close friends you made gaming over the years?

2 upvotesdoctormaye22 years ago

are there really close if they are all online?

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Idk about op, but for me, I've met up with them several times and have known them and their families for over 6 years. But they only play games and stuff. Currently, i'm in monk mode so I'm cutting down a lot of time spent with them by overall improving my quality of life as well as future career prospects. But idk how I'm gonna completely cut gaming out of my life.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Sometimes it's good to quit something if it's having a negative toll or isn't going to help you at the moment, or where you want to go in life. That doesn't mean you should quit it, i.e. gaming

1 upvotesS1ayer2 years ago

Quitting smoking and replacing masturbating with sex is great, but why quit video games? The long queue time and banning phase in LoL are a great time to do a 10 minute set.

0 upvotesThe_Dank_Astero2 years ago

Wow. Bravo, I'll turn my life around with that.

-14 upvoteswendysNO1wcheese2 years ago

It’s hard to take this serious when I see the country being decimated by heroin and have had people close to me die from it. Really hard. Like if you told me this with a serious face in person, I’d knock your teeth in.

But...this post is helpful for some people.

4 upvotessharp72 years ago

Quitting gaming obviously isn't in the same league as quitting heroine.

1 upvotesSir_Distic2 years ago

What does your country being decimated by heroine have to do with you? Go improve your life.

1 upvoteswendysNO1wcheese2 years ago

You’re catching feelings from me saying shit about gaming/porn addiction. Pathetic.

-6 upvotesRollyPollyPanda2 years ago

Be very selective in what you replace your addictions with. I quit gaming two years ago and replaced it with raving. I lost a lot of weight but it was going in the skinny fat direction... All the late nights and weekends gave me a bad case of panda eyes too. I was spending a lot on drugs and going to shows that I really didn't care about.

Is it better than gaming? Fuck yes it is, but if the last 2 years had been dedicated to eating clean and lifting heavy I would be closer to my ideal.

I hit a breaking point 3 months ago. I started lifting proper and changed the focus of my raving. Now I'm promoting and networking. I'm going to shows sober and leaving early. I'm skipping shows if I don't care about the artist.

TLDR: Finding a balance in your new "addiction" is key.

10 upvotesBigspartandaddy2 years ago

Is it better than gaming? Fuck yes it is.

No, it's not. Taking drugs is way worse for your body than a sedentary life. Stop lying to yourself.

1 upvotesRollyPollyPanda2 years ago

I lost just over 100 lbs in the last two years. Only part of that can be attributed to partying. Dancing and being active had a larger impact than my sporadic drug use. I'm happier and healthier than I have been in over a decade. When I was a depressed beta I had two suicide attempts. I was in a much worse place and gaming was keeping me there.

When I was a beta gamer I used drugs far more often. Weed was especially abused and kept me numb when I was bored and sad. Now when I use it's to enhance an experience. Drugs are not required to have an amazing time and they are not the focus anymore.

Hallucinogens have helped me face some of my demons and helped in erasing a lot of my limiting beliefs. I do not endorse it for everyone but some people benefit greatly from drugs. There is not a one size fits all rule for drugs... If you find them to be a detriment that is your reality and I would call it valid. You do you but demonizing drugs because some people can't handle their shit is a weak argument.

My reality is that drugs have helped me immensely. They used to be a weakness but now they are a strength. I can take them or leave them - the power they used to have has been replaced with dancing and gaming gorgeous thots half my age.

I have found a balance that works for me and doing things in moderation is essentially a red pill trait. In moderation and a red pill lens all things even drug can be beneficial.

1 upvotesBigspartandaddy2 years ago

My reality is that drugs have helped me immensely. They used to be a weakness but now they are a strength.

Drugs are a shortcut, always. Get your shit together.

I can take them or leave them - the power they used to have has been replaced with dancing and gaming gorgeous thots half my age.

Then stop taking them forever.

I have found a balance that works for me and doing things in moderation is essentially a red pill trait. In moderation and a red pill lens all things even drug can be beneficial.

No, drugs have very bad long time effects, and not even the red pill can change that. Hallucinogens do a lot of damage to the brain. They can affect your behaviour in many ways, maybe even causing mental issues like paranoia and social anxiety. They affect your conventration and memory, even when you are not under the effects of the drug. Let's not forget the compulsive drug-seeking behavior some hallucinogens like PCP create, which can manifest itself even subconsciously. Taking this shit every music festival you go to will fuck you up without you even realizing, especially mentally.

Look, I don't care about you. Do what you want, but going from being a fat slob to taking drugs in shitty music festivals isn't really a Red Pill improvement.

0 upvotesUnexpected_Finale2 years ago

Doesn't that really depend on the drug and how sedentary the lifestyle is? When I imagine a sedentary person I think of a guy watching tv and eating potato chips all day. I'm not advocating drug use necessarily but having a couple beers or sharing a joint at a music festival is much healthier than sitting around all day and doing nothing.

1 upvotesBigspartandaddy2 years ago

Doesn't that really depend on the drug and how sedentary the lifestyle is? When I imagine a sedentary person I think of a guy watching tv and eating potato chips all day. I'm not advocating drug use necessarily but having a couple beers or sharing a joint at a music festival is much healthier than sitting around all day and doing nothing.

I guess some of the soft ones aren't that harmful, but like alcohol, they can fuck you up real bad.

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