Originally posted this ask/trp thought it would be a good addition here.
This post will hopefully show men considering marriage how to avoid massive asset losses in the event of a divorce. I have always been a very shrewd man when it comes to my finances. Not so much when it comes to my romantic relationships, but I'm working on that now.
My story starts in the mid 90's. I had recently finished my surgical residency and moved out to a state with a severe doctor shortage. I was pulling down well into seven figures annually. However, I myself was working for this money and I always believed that having others working for you is the way to generate true wealth. So I began to open various hotel franchises, restaurant franchises, apartment buildings, etc. I was always concerned about a law suit because well doctors get sued a lot and I did not want to lose money to that, so I began researching into asset protection. The best way to protect one's assets is through an irrevocable trust. This is a trust where you are the beneficiary of all the assets within, meaning you do not own them and creditors cannot take them, but you can still access them. Unfortunately, in most states one cannot setup an irrevocable trust for himself. Nevada, however is an exception to this you can establish a "spendthrift trust" which is essentially an irrevocable trust without being called one. So I converted my franchises and properties into company stock and then moved these stocks into an account in a trust in Nevada.
Now, its the early 2000's about and my company is making slightly more than my salary as physician. So I quit working as a doctor and move full time to manage my company. At this point I was 39 years old and I began to think about marriage. So I began to date seriously. At the time, I had court side tickets to the NBA team in my city so I ended asking out one of the team cheerleaders. She's a total 10/10 bombshell. I thought I was very lucky at the time as she was the most beautiful woman I had ever been with. In retrospect, she was clearly a slut and I beta bucks. She gave birth to our first child 2003 and we got married in 2003 before she gave birth. However, before our wedding and before even setting the date I had seen my parents divorce, my brother get divorced, and several friends so I was wary. I consulted a an attorney and we drew up a prenup. At this time I was already very wealthy especially after investing prudently after the dotcom bubble popped. I had a net worth in the mid 8 figures and profits were well into the seven figures, most of it was already protected in my Nevada trust. The prenup stipulated that she would get $250,000 for every child and $100,000 for each year of marriage she was only making 30K a year so I was being generous. The prenup was signed before we even set the date and we both has separate representation. Also, the signing was videotaped with a retired judge mediating so it was clear there was no coercion. My paranoia ended up paying off later on.
Fast forward several years, it is 2009 and we have one more kid born in 2004. Our sex life has tapered off quite a bit. It is not nearly deadbedroom, but it is only duty sex twice a month. She often would use sex to manipulate me. I had become quite depressed. I had put on a lot of weight due stress. I had lost about half my net worth in the recession and to see all that vanish after years of work was awful. To compound this I find out that my wife has been cheating on me guy. I believe his kids were several years older than mine at the school they went to. I thought about what to do. My girls were my mine concern and I didn't want to risk losing them at such a young age. I was also worried about confronting my wife. I was angry at my wife, the world, her affair partner. I had done everything I was supposed to do and I was losing a lot of money and my wife was cheating on me. I have always been a vindictive SOB so I plotted my way out of the situation. Most of my anger was directed to the dude. Suprisingly, he worked at the time at a company that supplied a lot of the stuff to hotels. I called the company up and they fired him. Keep in mind this was during the midst of the recession. The guy lost his job, got divorced, lost kids, and from what I know now lives in a shitty apartment. It was shitty what I did, but I don't regret it. As far as I know my wife didn't cheat on me after things ended with the other man. This was a wake up call for me. I started to spend a lot more time with my girls and my relationship with my wife actually improved. However, I knew that long term I could not stay with someone who had cheated on me. So I began to prepare myself financially and emotionally for the divorce. Our house was very expensive and we had joint ownership over it so I was afraid of losing it in a divorce. So I took out two mortgages on it and began to put as many of our expenses as possible into credit card debt. My businesses had returned to profitability. I could have taken a much larger salary than I did. However, I kept it artificially low so that when I filed for divorce possible child support would be calculated from a lower income.
Fast forward to 2015. My girls are a bit older and I've been spending a lot more time with them and have been really enjoying it which actually surprised me. My wife and I now only have sex once a month and whenever I don't do what I want she just gets horrible and nasty, worst things I've ever heard. Men who've been in a bad marriage I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. So I finally file for divorce. As I expected she would do my wife tries to challenge the prenup and go for half my stuff. By this time my net worth had fully recovered so she would have gotten just a massive payout. Luckily, the prenup was pretty solid. And I also had a little bit of leverage. The debt which was considered both of ours that was accumulated. Our lawyers negotiated that she wouldn't challenge the prenup as long as I get all of the debt. I could wipe it out in a year if I wanted to so I readily agreed. So in exchange for the 12/13 years of marriage she got $1,300,000 plus $500,000 for our two girls this ended up being around 3% of my net worth. Due to all the time I spent with my girls we ended up getting 50/50 custody no child support.
Fast forward to today. I end up having my girls most of the time as their mother is off slutting/partying around. I think she felt she ended her youth to early. Our daughters have lost respect for her, which in truth does hurt because I will always feel something for their mother. Luckily though, I have a long term girlfriend who sets a fine example for my daughters. After my divorce I started lifting and I am truly the captain now so to say. I anticipate having to pay my wife in the future though to stay until my girls are 18 because she has almost already gone through the settlement from what I have heard.
akeaways:
-Spend A LOT of time with your kids 1. You'll love it 2. It'll help you in custody battles -Obviously get a prenup 1. Have it signed before the date is set 2. Separate lawyers 3. Signing is videotaped with a mediator present -Use trusts to protect yourself-If you have a friend or brother your trust a lot you can both setup irrevocable trusts for each other -Don't be a beta bucks. I was out of shape for much of the time and was not physically attractive to women. A good standard I now have is would childhood me look up to who I am now or want me as a dad?
Good luck men, any questions I'll do my best to answer
[–]throwawayabay113 points114 points115 points (9 children) | Copy
[–]Tacticalogistics25 points26 points27 points (8 children) | Copy
[–]innerpeice35 points36 points37 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]bestmemerever points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–]innerpeice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]throwawayabay5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]stevo220981 points82 points83 points (16 children) | Copy
[–]insoucianc38 points39 points40 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades25 points26 points27 points (6 children) | Copy
[–]insoucianc14 points15 points16 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]tMoohan4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]tMoohan0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]emf415 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]fakenate12 points3 points4 points (6 children) | Copy
[–]147_pothole_FTW3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]yazen_ points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–]fakenate10 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]RodGronaArSkit0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]fakenate10 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]ThrowingMyslfOutther0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]4juice136 points137 points138 points (45 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 178 points179 points180 points (43 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 53 points54 points55 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]coolasice00719 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades15 points16 points17 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]beachbbqlover points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–]2rp_valiant4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Phoenixtorment2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]1scissor_me_timbers002 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]beachbbqlover0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]shut_up_liar points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 57 points58 points59 points (23 children) | Copy
[–]shut_up_liar points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–]Charmeleonn7 points8 points9 points (20 children) | Copy
[–]shut_up_liar points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro23 points24 points25 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]throwitdownman23 points24 points25 points (6 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]shut_up_liar points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]TRPBackpacker points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–]shut_up_liar points points points [recovered] | Copy
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]Charmeleonn-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]dilberryhoundog0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Machismo010 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]snowflake6421 points22 points23 points (9 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 54 points55 points56 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (4 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]liftpraylove[S] 16 points17 points18 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Kisstafer11 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]brainhack3r1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]reiduh52 points53 points54 points (11 children) | Copy
[–]Hjalmbere8 points9 points10 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]reiduh13 points14 points15 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]Hjalmbere5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]reiduh2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Hjalmbere1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]reiduh2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]xeroshogun23 points24 points25 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]reiduh8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]RumLovingPirate0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]TheSlicemanCometh10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]stompie59 points10 points11 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 26 points27 points28 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]stompie59 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]mechz2139 points40 points41 points (20 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (6 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]everyone_wins27 points28 points29 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]LOST_TALE-1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy
[–]everyone_wins2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]LOST_TALE0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]everyone_wins0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]mechz210 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades9 points10 points11 points (10 children) | Copy
[–]techemilio1 point2 points3 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades6 points7 points8 points (6 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]Windforce0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]emf410 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]1scissor_me_timbers000 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 69 points70 points71 points (35 children) | Copy
[–]TenVipers39 points40 points41 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]BobLordOfTheCows37 points38 points39 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]spcarlin21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]PanzerBatallion19 points20 points21 points (6 children) | Copy
[–]emf416 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]1scissor_me_timbers001 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]2rp_valiant4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]LOST_TALE5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]basebool1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]throwaway-aa26 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Mildsoss2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]okkyle7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]juliusstreicher5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]ChadThundercockII4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]everyone_wins1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]Nimitz877 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]slay_it_forward-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]sunshine_machine0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Mildsoss1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]wheredalootat6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (11 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]Luis_McLovin20 points21 points22 points (7 children) | Copy
[–]Hassenboy0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]Luis_McLovin0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]Hassenboy1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Luis_McLovin2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Hassenboy1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Luis_McLovin0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]KINGahRoo1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]LawBot20160 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]LOST_TALE0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]haasteagle5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Algernoq14 points15 points16 points (13 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 30 points31 points32 points (9 children) | Copy
[–]ecocrat4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]Method0077 points8 points9 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Frdl7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]Frdl3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]chadbyron0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]onegirltwoballs7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]4juice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]omargrunt3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]FutureMuscleDoctor4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]recon_johnny7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]emf415 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]throw174532 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]throw174531 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]el_Technico2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]SmilingWatermelon2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Chippa742 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]randarrow5 points6 points7 points (4 children) | Copy
[–]ChadThundercockII7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]slumdog-millionaire0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]randarrow0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]slumdog-millionaire3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]yomo861 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]everyone_wins1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]VickVaseline1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Coach-Red-Pill1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]HitchensTwoPointOh0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]africanjollof0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Five_Decades0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]trpnewguy6660 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]LOST_TALE0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]LOST_TALE0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]LOST_TALE0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Rawesome0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]liftpraylove[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]emf410 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]casemodsalt0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]DatingCoach1110 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]arctander0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]fromthecrypt80 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Renzo21210 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Viking_RnP0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]stoicsoul870 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Hyper_Sonik0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Mildsoss0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]pateuvasiliu0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Xoramung0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]CaleebTalib0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]tekn0_0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]MikeN_ike0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]SultanOfHops0 points1 point2 points (9 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 5 points6 points7 points (8 children) | Copy
[–]jm515 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]BobLordOfTheCows1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Jyontaitaa1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]beginner_3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]zksnugs0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]zksnugs0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]ecocrat-3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]throwitdownman0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]throwitdownman0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (7 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]liftpraylove[S] 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]liftpraylove[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy
[deleted]
[–]trpperr1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]mistagaymer1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]V1SoR-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Nihev-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy
[–]1scissor_me_timbers00-1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[+]Uniqueusername121comment score below threshold-13 points-12 points-11 points (21 children) | Copy
[–]DHerpster3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Uniqueusername121-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy
[–]DHerpster3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]gjarreau1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Uniqueusername121-2 points-1 points0 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]gjarreau0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (11 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–]Uniqueusername1210 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]Uniqueusername1210 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy
[–]Uniqueusername1210 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy
[–]Uniqueusername1210 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Uniqueusername1210 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy
[–]liftpraylove[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy
[–]Uniqueusername1211 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy