N.B. This post is aimed at newbies. Feel free to skip if you are not a newbie or in an LTR.

Refresher on basic red pill theory

Based on the standard crop of questions that continuously appear on Ask TRP I’m going to assume that some aspects are not quickly internalised by newbies. The first thing we need to talk about is covert contracts. The second thing is female loyalty (doesn’t exist).

Covert Contracts

As defined by Robert Glover in No More Mr Nice Guy, a covert contract is when a man decides in his mind that if he does X he’ll be owed Y. In relationships, even the relationships our young red pillers seem to be getting into, the covert contract is that by giving commitment you will get loyalty.

No woman in her right mind would actually offer loyalty and mean it - and no woman can. Women are hypergamous by nature, the same way we are polygamous by nature. In case you need a refresher:

  • hypergamy is the urge to trade up in relationships
  • polygamy is the urge to have more than one sexual partner at a time

Just as you cannot stop wanting to fuck other women no matter how great and sexual your girlfriend is, women cannot stop testing their relationship (branch) and looking for a new and better one no matter how good her current relationship is. The thing you need to take out of this is that no matter how much your girlfriend “loves” you, if she can get someone she perceives as better she’s gone - and she will always have her eyes and ears out for it. She will always be testing you and the relationship to see if it’s really as good as she can get. Getting upset about this would be like a woman getting upset that you didn’t stop being physically attracted to other human females just because you met her. To you that would make absolutely no sense right? Well then try to understand it is just as insane for you to get upset about her urge to trade up / always make sure she has the best deal.

Female loyalty

I can’t believe how many guys come on here and write, “I’m fully redpilled and follow all the advice but my LTR is now hanging out with a guy she used to fuck and not telling me.” WHAT THE FUCK CUNT, CUNT WHAT THE FUCK?! Why are you giving your commitment!?!?!? DON’T. You are giving your commitment on the covert contract that you’ll get her loyalty in exchange: YOU WILL NOT.

So now that you know that you can stop getting upset about it alright. But since I know you’re just starting out (and we all started off dumb before we became smart, including me) I’m going to advise you anyway.

Here’s the deal. Women are slaves to their impulses. Emotions and feelings overpower any ability to make logical decisions. So don’t get upset when they can’t keep their word to you. Sure, they can make logical decisions when there is no emotion on the line, such as in the day to day running of a household or in office admin and secretarial work. But as soon as emotion comes online in their brains logic is out the window.

Women cannot stick to their word unless their emotions match their original commitment in every moment.

There are so, so, so many posts on Ask TRP that go, “My LTR broke her word to me, what should I do?” All of those people and many of the commenters are completely misunderstanding something that should be super obvious to you by now: women cannot keep their word in the face of a strong emotion or impulse that makes them not want to. Not your current woman, not your ex, not the future mother of your children, not your grandma, not the greatest women who will ever exist on this planet.

I’m not saying don’t next them for not keeping their word. I’m saying you’re an idiot for thinking they were capable of it in the first place. If they are female then emotion rules. When emotion takes over their brain logical decision making is out the window. They are not capable of acting like a man and putting aside their emotions and impulses because it’s the right thing to do. I’m sure many of them would if they could but they just can’t.

“It just happened.”

The catch call of the modern woman, “It just happened” clears her of any and all responsibility for every act she ever participates in. She says it about cheating, she says it about hookups, she says it about fairy tale romances. They are almost never aware of cause and effect. To women, things just happen. And this makes perfect sense. They are the passive sex, physically built for receiving and that is what they do. Lovers come to them, opportunities come to them, emotions come to them and then things just happen.

Why hate them for it? Why care at all? There is only one reason: you are still making covert contracts. The time to stop that is yesterday. You cannot make a contract of any kind with a woman as once emotions flood her brain she will simply behave as she feels.

Conclusion

So accepting this is tough, I get that. Once you have though it’s likely three questions will arise:

  1. If I can’t get ever truly trust a woman then what’s the point?

  2. If I can’t ever commit because it’s pointless then how do I avoid losing her because I won’t commit?

  3. Is there not some way to make her want to be truly devoted to me?

If I can’t get ever truly trust a woman then what’s the point?

You absolutely can trust a woman: you can trust her to follow her nature the way you follow yours. Women aren’t predictable but they aren’t that hard to understand either. The more you get it, the more you understand, the less upset you’ll get about it. I love women but I don’t wrap my value and self esteem on their approval of or treatment of me. I am good. That’s the foundation my personality is built on. And if I fail at something I go back to that: I am good. If a woman didn’t pick me or think I was the most special: I am still good. If I’m spending time with a girl and starting to really like her and it turns out she’s only using me for sex and doesn’t care about me at all: I am still good. Even if I fail at some aspect of business: I am still good (and I’m still good at business). My self esteem doesn’t take a hit.

Know what women are. You don’t watch basketball and get upset the hits aren’t as hard as in football. You might like the big hits of football but you can still love basketball. So it is with women. I enjoy a lot about them. I don’t focus on things I like that they lack. It’s irrelevant. Women aren’t loyal and that sucks because loyalty is massive to me. But that’s ok, it is the way it is. My best friends are loyal to me and I’m loyal to them. The women in my life come and go and I make the best of it in the moments I’m with them.

What to do when you fear losing her if you don’t give your commitment?

I’m not going to pretend this isn’t a reality. Sometimes you meet a really great girl. She shares all the preferences you want her to, she treats you spectacularly, the sex is amazing. You want this girl in your life because she makes it so much better by being around. Well I’m not the married red pill sub but I’ll give my two cents.

If you must LTR a girl. If you must offer commitment to keep her in your life. Then you must continue to game her. Once she has gained your commitment she will automatically lose some of her attraction to you. Like you, she’s hard wired to chase. You hope that she loves being with you so much that nothing changes - but that’s how you end up with a roommate instead of a wife, i.e. a girl you live with who you don’t fuck. She might love being with you but if she’s not attracted to you then your life is gonna suck.

So if you decide you’re gonna do it just know two things: you’re not assured of her loyalty and you’ve drastically upped the chances of her losing attraction even if you don’t think so at first. Routine and predictability are anathema to women. Continue to game her, continue to put effort into the sex, continue to keep things unpredictable and interesting. She doesn’t want to settle into dependability like you do. If she’s not getting her excitement from you she will look elsewhere. Remember opportunities come to women - unlike us, they don’t have to do anything or go out and get them. Things just happen.

Is there not some way to make her want to be truly devoted to me?

Yes - you must maintain the perfect equilibrium of SMV. You have to be the best man she is capable of getting. Even then she may opportunistically cheat but you can’t control that. All you can do is continue on your red pill path: have a good body, stay socially active, don’t be a pussy or a little bitch in general, have a mission and life purpose (or at the very worst an interest) that is apart from her, take pride in your appearance, have options. Coincidentally doing all this will also make you have a great fucking life. But just remember I said equilibrium. You can’t jump too high above her or you’ll send her crazy. If you are currently obese and dating at your level, becoming a higher quality man than she thinks she should be able to get will send your woman completely insane as she sees much more attractive women than her competing for your attention. If you get too far above her you’ll likely have to break up (unless she has an insanely disproportionate self view - which is unlikely if she was dating obese you in the first place).

Good luck and godspeed gentleman. We all start somewhere.