You might find yourself going through the familiar Kubler-Ross 5 stages in your TRP journey, when you have the Red Pill experience of dealing with the death of your foolish Blue Pill dream of having a girl love you.

 

Assuming that there are a lot of guys reading this who are either past denial, or in it to some degree and needing help getting past it: If you are aware that these stages are likely in your future, you can manage your emotional reactions, minimize psychological damage, and maximize your overall outcomes.

 

TRP lessons from the 5 stages

 

Denial: useless. Actually worse than that. This is what the entire Blue Pill World actively engages in, to their great detriment. End of story.

But can you learn from denial? Yes, you can learn that you are a damn fool if you continue to ignore dozens of exhibitions of bad behavior from women. Harsh lesson, but necessary. Because you didn't receive TRP message: AWALT.

 

Bargaining: not merely useless, again, worse than that, and actually far worse even than denial. Bargain against truth with God or the world, get laughed at. Bargain with yourself, you are a moron. Bargaining with a woman in the context of your BP dream results in the woman being happy to take all you offer and return nothing.

In the context of sexual relations you would be bargaining with a woman. And that would amount to negotiating desire. And that would not work. In my estimation, this notion is one of the most profound realizations of the last 50 years that has gone unacknowledged outside of TRP.

 

But it doesn't even have to be with overt communication; it can be acts:

 

    There was a guy and a girl, and they really liked each other. They became a couple. As the years went on, the guy noticed that the affection and sex was tapering off. He thought that "being liked" was important to her, so he tried showing her how much he liked her by being nice to her, and listening to her, and doing things for her, and so on. He was utterly confused by how this DID NOT WORK.

 

Why don't women like to be liked? I'm going to shoehorn this in here, because this is what I experienced in what I retrospectively labeled my bargaining phase. It was not covert contracts, it was to love and to cherish, and we all know how women treat vows.

 

TRP lesson: /u/LastRevision explains why women don't like to be liked.

And as I point out in the comments there, this effect does not diminish even in many-year-long relationships.

Also relevant is the cardinal rule of relationships: more truths from the master.

 

Depression: useless; dispensable. Skip this one if you can. I mean, I can see somebody recommending denial or bargaining, but no sane person would recommend for you to get depressed.

In the context of your TRP journey, it probably is just sadness when you realize that sweet little girl you thought you had didn't give one single shit about you when the chips were down. And that will in turn likely develop into low self-esteem. The bottom line is all this shit is unattractive, and it becomes a horrible feedback loop:

 

    There was a guy who thought he had a good woman. Then his grandpa died. The guy shed tears the way a normal human would. He turned to her for emotional support, and got none. In addition, the guy wondered why his woman wasn't interested in having sex with him. That made him even more sad, but things eventually went back to normal.      Then the guy broke his jaw. After the drugs wore off and his face looked normal again, he wondered why his woman wasn't interested in having sex with him. That hurt, too, but eventually he healed up, things kind of went back to normal, but not quite.      Then the guy got into a situation where he was working 16 hour days, felt like shit about it, but did it because obviously the money. He was tired and had no time to go to the gym, so he got out of shape. And he wondered why his woman wasn't interested in having sex with him. He got even more depressed when he saw the pattern and realized what kind of a shitty person she really was.

 

Seems like this is an extremely common reaction, as there are so many testimonials:

TRP lessons: Women do not give a shit about your problems!

Need emotional support from your girlfriend? Here's what you can expect.

Another: same theme.

Female aversion to male weakness and vulnerability.

I could do this all day, but I'll just offer one more, from /u/IllimitableMan on how you can't depend upon her and you can't share your weaknesses if you want to keep her.

(In all these links, try to find the originals, and read ALL the comments, there's wisdom in there.)

 

Anger: this might happen as you transition from boy, was I dumb to listen to them to NO! it's not my fault for trusting people! Disillusionment will be the mildest result, but it may range all the way to absolute rage at being lied to your entire life. And, no, it is not a fun feeling.

I used to think it was a good thing to help guys get past the anger. /u/DentyneWhite helped me see how that was wrong:

I believe anger is a useful stage and guys dont need to rush through it nor feel ashamed for feeling it.

Focus on the utility of anger. Unlike the other stages, anger can actually get you somewhere.

There is a distinction between formless rage and catalytic anger. Anger can get your ass in the gym or many other productive, improving modes the way NONE of the other stages can, no contest.

In addition to the physical benefits of anger as fuel, anger also has practical psychological benefits:

 

    There was a guy who went through the depression phase, was overworked, felt like shit, and got out of shape. When he turned to his woman for support, she wasn't there. He gave and gave, and got nothing. He said "fuck this shit."       The guy shut the woman out of his life, did his own thing, fixed his work situation, and got into shape again. He laughed when the woman said she wanted things. He viewed her with disdain and derision. His indifference to her needs was sheer. She got incredibly turned on.      The return of her sexual interest in him was unaccompanied by any kindness from him, because he saw that she was stupid, cruel, vain, selfish, lazy, and shallow. Her interest seemed to be renewed only because he was buff again. He wondered how many buff dudes she had fucked in the year that he was out of shape. He saw that she was merely an animal, and he didn't care anymore.

 

The disdain, derision, and indifference can be permanent. In my experience, many years have gone by, and the results have only been positive.

TRP lessons? Everybody knows hit the gym. I haven't seen the psychological benefits of the anger phase much addressed, but I say: Stay in the anger phase as long as you like. When you exit, maintain that perspective. Don't forget her true nature, and treat her accordingly.

 

Acceptance: this sounds nice, but I don't really see it as useful, as it is more of a "non-state." It's just "being." Fine. But acceptance could perhaps turn into complacency and backsliding, which you don't want.

Further, acceptance certainly isn't necessary, as plenty of swell guys like /u/MattyAnon and many others don't really seem to have a use for it. I had one conversation with him where he ranted about how you can't rely on women, don't expect loyalty, etc. and I said But that's the way of the world! Why fight it? and he said he was done fighting it, but he sure as shit wasn't accepting it.

And then he left me with this great metaphor for a relationship with a woman:

They have been dramatic (I walk), they've complained (I tell them to shut up), they've called my bluff on the relationship (I call it back). And yet nothing ever changes. It's always my job to do everything for them, and it always feels like I'm dragging around a puppy on a leash. And that puppy is dead.

Not seeing acceptance or the need for it there. But such wisdom. God love ya, my friend.

 

tl;dr: 1. AWALT, do not deny it. 2. You can't change reality by pleading. 3. Getting sad will make things worse. 4. Acceptance is overrated. 5. Not only is anger fine, it is useful, and has long-lasting, positive effects.