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How to hold a conversation and be able to talk forever with anyone. Develop your million dollar mouthpiece with this one mindset shift.

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pugnaciousvagabond
July 29, 2017
860 upvotes
TheRedPill

The Million Dollar Mouthpiece

The ability to hold an engaging conversation with a complete stranger might be one of the most important life skills you can develop. It is a skill that not many possess, but many wish they had. Few people understand the subtleties involved with it. I used to struggle with conversations in the past.

I remember the painful awkward silences that would ensue due to my lack of conversational skills. The many missed opportunities… So how can one develop the million dollars mouthpiece? Well, the answer might surprise you.

A good conversationalist understands the importance of listening. Many people falsely assume that in order to have a good conversation, they must constantly talk. People get too stuck in their heads trying to think of the next thing to say. They get stifled looking for the right words.

Change the focus to being mindful during the conversation. Give the other person your full attention when they are speaking. Doing this allows you to pick up the ‘threads’ of the conversation. What are the threads? Well, when someone talks they usually mention a range of things that you can use in order to navigate the direction of the conversation. I will give you an example:

Case Study: The bus stop

Guy: Wow, is this bus always this late?

Girl: Yeah, I got to the library late last week because of it.

The first part of the dialogue only has one thread which you can expand. The girl mentioned that she was late for the library. The library is your new topic to pursue, once opening a thread you must ask an open ended question ( a question that demands more than just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer).

Guy: Uhh the library? What are you a student, or writer, or something? Girl: Yes I am a student; I’m studying psychology at the University of Amsterdam. The girl’s response opened up three threads. The potential topics that you can discuss are:

• Things associated with the student life

• Things associated with psychology

• University of Amsterdam

At this stage, you can give your own experience on the subject matter or ask another open ended question. For example one of the below:

1. Student life is expensive these days, how do you cope?

2. What inspired you to study psychology?

3. What is the vibe like at your university?

Let’s go with question 2.

Guy: What inspired you to study psychology?

Girl: I have always been interested in the mind, especially of serial killers. When I was younger I used to watch a lot of crime investigation documentaries. I have always wanted to know, what makes people tick I guess.

Bingo, the open ended question has now lead you to open up many new threads. From here you can talk about:

• The mind and how complicated it is

• Serial killers, what makes someone snap?

• Documentaries you have watched

Remember, you can always navigate the conversation to previous topics uncovered in earlier threads whenever you want. You can always say:

‘Previously you mentioned – enter previous thread-“ this is an option best left for when your current thread is losing some heat.

People love their own voices, give it to them

As you can see, following this framework it’s very easy to keep a conversation going on forever. What you have to understand is that people are primarily concerned with themselves. People love the sounds of their own voices. If you can allow them to express themselves while being present to the moment, they will love you for it.

I have had conversations with all kinds of people, often with people who do not share any similarities with me. I, however, am able to connect with them because of a deep understanding of this basic framework. There have been times in the past when I have said maybe two sentences within a conversation and allowed the other person to speak. To my surprise, these people would always remind me about the “deep, and insightful”, the conversation we had. Master this skill if you really want people to love you, and if you want to open up opportunities for yourself.

VIDEO EXPLANATION


Post Information
Title How to hold a conversation and be able to talk forever with anyone. Develop your million dollar mouthpiece with this one mindset shift.
Author pugnaciousvagabond
Upvotes 860
Comments 139
Date 29 July 2017 01:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/44984
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6qaxva/how_to_hold_a_conversation_and_be_able_to_talk/
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Comments

[–]ndurancerun310 points311 points  (77 children) | Copy

But what if you do not receive anything?

Guy: Wow, is this bus always this late?

Girl: Naaah (Or yeaaah).

People do not always give you the materials to iterate on. Guess it might be related to the first impressions but I think it should also cover dead-end situations.

[–]NaturalSelect1on104 points105 points  (45 children) | Copy

Then you just make a statement about something general, or about you, or about the person you're talking to. It's always better to make a statement about the other person. This forces them to answer. That's what we call cold reading.

For example you could follow up with : Hey, you look like a student. (you can make it even more specific, philosophy student for example)

Thus, this way he or she is forced to answer to you cause you told something about them. They either going to say: You're right, how did you know? Or: oh, no I'm a waitress, but why did you think I was a student?

Then you continue with the technique the OP started or with statements again.

Also, asking a question is not the end of the world, as long as you don't get repetitive with them, and it looks like you're making an interview.

[–]Tirfing88184 points185 points  (34 children) | Copy

"hey, you look like a student"

"yeaaaaa."

[–]leviathan5191 points92 points  (6 children) | Copy

Then they are either nervous, so you continue like this. Or they are completely disinterested, so you walk away.

[–]chadjugo46 points47 points  (5 children) | Copy

Lmao and people are just upvoting that last comment. You can tell all 18 of those people don't approach because they expect the journey to be perfect.

[–]Stilfull23 points24 points  (3 children) | Copy

That's the good part of being a strong independent RP-swallower; you just don't give a fuck if it's bumpy. :)

[–]IIlllIllIIIllIl3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like someone isn't lifting.

[–]Stilfull3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Bruh, I'm liftin' 5 days a week. I meant that a strong man are able to recognice it's bumpy, and with strength (mental and physical) will give an ability to push through the hard times. The "bumpy" things aren't things that will bring you down, you'll handle it.

[–]IIlllIllIIIllIl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh for sure brah, I was talking the dudes above you. Gettum gains.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (24 children) | Copy

"are you a student?"

"Yes"

"What do you study?"

"Philosophy"

"What do you like about philosophy"

Maintain a genuine interest as you see her open up to you like a lotus flower.

[–]martinko1337-5 points-4 points  (23 children) | Copy

like a lotus flower

i hope youre being sarcastic and not creepy here

[–]redpillrobby23 points24 points  (21 children) | Copy

If you're a man using "creepy" on this sub you shouldn't be allowed to post. He was being colorful. Also, his script is spot on.

[–]martinko1337-2 points-1 points  (19 children) | Copy

Whats wrong with the word creepy?

[–]redpillrobby27 points28 points  (17 children) | Copy

It's a bitch term used to shame men by feminists. It's not a word men should use about other men.

[–]Shrek202 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

If one literally stalks a girl, then he is creepy

[–]redpillrobby7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. I just don't use the word. Because I'm male.

[–]Burlaczech0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

People with numbers in their name are creepy. I wont shame childish words like Shrek, because its personal, but an alpha wont have Shrek in their name :(

Its creepy and immature

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fair enough but this isn't that case, it's just conversation while both people are doing something (waiting for the bus in this case)

[–]martinko13373 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Well i just think his analogy sucks. And men can be creepy, its not a feminist word, its just an adjective, which sometimes is appropriate. I met some guys that give of a serious creepy vibe. Dont tryhard so much you limit your vocabolary.

[–]redpillrobby4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Did you seriously just spell "vocabulary" wrong while trying to make a point about vocabulary?

Jesus, man. Read a book.

[–]Aarxnw0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I don't thunk it's a bitch term but I thunk it's definitely used way too overzealously by bitches.

Men can always be creepy, even to other men.

[–]redpillrobby5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

In the words of a excellent and truthful female comedian, Iliza, "All guys are creepy when they're ugly. Nothing a hot guy does is creepy. It's just plain old flirting."

I personally try to avoid using the term. I think it makes me sound like a gay guy.

[–]hahayeahthatscool-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

That really seems like some hypersensitive bitchy shit itself

[–]Burlaczech0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

makes you seem insecure and creepy.

[–]Henrywinklered0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That seems neither sarcastic or creepy..

Could you expand?

[–]Burlaczech0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

at first, I laughed. at second, I realized Ive already experienced this (from both sides). Daaaamn

[–]mechsx40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy

I disagree. If someone is giving you cold answers then don't force a conversation. It's the same with whatsapp or whatever, if the conversation is one sided and it's just you asking questions, eject. You've got more self-respect than that.

[–]Project_Thor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I totally agree, however your approach and presentation could be improved. Instead of coming across as 'just another person who wants to be clingy.'

[–]Shrek203 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Could I go with something like, "Btw, are you an actress? You certainly look like a porn star". This will not only make you seem like a professional in the area, but also like a caring guy

[–]juliusstreicher3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Hey, you look like a student".

"I have a boyfriend."

[–]wunderwaxel2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

This works. Just say something like "you look like you're on your way to university". Even if she is not, most of the time you'll get an answer.

[–]Zhorba22 points23 points  (3 children) | Copy

"you look like you're on your way to university"

"Naaah."

[–]mygenerationiszero5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hahahahahahahaha Fuck this makes me mad!! At this point I would just walk away

[–]Aarxnw4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say most of the time somebody who answers with that is not worth your time, but there aren't many answers to that honestly. At most you could correct the person and tell them what you're actually doing but I'd say its worth making some more attempts on conversation before walking away.

[–]rockmasterflex37 points38 points  (4 children) | Copy

When people respond like that they generally don't want to talk to you anyway. Try with someone more receptive

[–]FinallyRed2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not really. Maybe they were taken aback that you are starting a conversation unexpectedly (can be mitigated by looking more engaging beforehand) or perhaps they are naturally shy or bad with conversation themselves.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ah you can still open her up.. let her talk about what she likes and why she likes it.

[–]1OneRedYear2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Short anwsers mean leave them alone. Either they don't want to talk or they are awkward af. either way move on.

[–]Llurtle14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd save the effort and move on to someone more engaging. Conversational skills are great but no need to talk to everyone.

[–]PilledWhiteHat12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you need to treat that as a shit test. Read their body language, and keep your frame by knowing in the back of your head that you don't give a fuck if it's a bad conversation or not.

[–]deepthr0at11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

When confronted with a dead-end, "Do you like daggers?" is always a good ice breaker to get back into the swing of things.

[–]balamory8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

not everyone has or wants to talk to you get over it.

[–]1GreenPiller6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girl: Hi, Yeah, Nah, K, Lol, Word, got it, alright, naw, haha, later.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then you push her to open up. Ask her about shit she's wearing, what she's doing in life. For example, she's got a schoolbag, ask her if she's a student, you'll get an obvious yes, ask her what she studies.

For example:

I was in the subway, there was this man a few years older than me who was wearing a schoolbag sitting next to me, I asked him if he's a student. Told me yes and I kept poking with (this is very important) a genuine interest until he told me that he was a doctorate student in Quantum physics at my city's university and he explained (maintaining my interested nature) the discretional nature of spacetime. He added me that same day.

[–]3ncryption1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the point of an open-ended line of questioning. It forces at least some elaboration.

If you ask, "So what kind of hobbies are you into?", they are more likely to open up than if you ask "Are you into any new hobbies?"

Prevent a yes or no answer at all costs.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Wow, that sucks! Why do you think it's late today? My theory is the bus driver fell asleep and drifted into the other lane and everyone is dead"

I don't know if this is the right thing to do or just try to switch to another topic entirely, but I've noticed I have a tendency to say "over the top"/"random" things like this and it works. The best is when I run into people as ridiculous and me and we just say stupid shit for hours.

[–]StBlackOps2Cel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is what im thinking too

[–]UnPawsed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd ask where she's headed to once the bus gets there, and then you can ask for what reason she's headed there and probably make a statement or connection about the place once she tells you

[–]Peter_B_Long0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then you just talk to somebody else. Don't expect the other person to continue the conversation cause some people are extremely introverted.

I went to a free concert on Friday by myself. I'm trying out IF so I was 100% sober. It was an exciting challenge. I'm usually buzzing with friends at concerts. Never sober and alone. Anyways, I pushed myself to get out of my comfort zone and talked to everybody around me. There were mixed reactions.

There was a group who was there when I got there. I tried talking to the girl but she gave boring short answers and wouldn't make eye contact. Tried talking to a guy she was with (obviously BB. Buying her drinks, wasn't dancing, laughing at everything she was saying, looked akward af) and he just gave awkward goody two shoes answers.

But besides them I met cool people. I was talking to some guy who was happy to see how excited I was. I was really pumped to see the main band because I've been listening to them since they debuted and it was for free. I also met these 2 girls and talked / hungout with them towards the end of the show. They would ask questions about me, asked if I was with anyone, and then told me how bad ass it was that I went by myself. I got both of their IG's.

I had woken up at 5am to hit the gym that day + an 8 hour work shift + IF + being sober as shit + trying to keep energy reserves for a huge concert the next day so it definitely took strong mental effort to open up people but I think I did a good job.

[–]DadOnDabs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I assume they aren't interested.

[–]Salted_Pretzel49 points50 points  (7 children) | Copy

Great post, however you don't want to have high expectations. I've been in the situation countless times where women(men too) just don't want to talk or just not interested. It all comes down to your SMV(Clothes, body, tonality). Not everyone is social or know basic communication skills. You're dropping a hook. Say something to a girl, if she doesn't respond or body language is off cut your loss and move on.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

It all comes down to your SMV

That or they're on a seriously bad rag.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

In your opinion what distinguishes a beta good listener and a alpha good listener? I am having trouble visualizing the two.

[–]refusewool10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not the way you listen, but whether or not you display alpha or beta traits in general. This ties in with your physical appearance, body language and behaviour.

As a side note, it is charismatic (according to the Charisma Myth) to keep eye contact and not nod too often. Don't sit there with a dumb smile on your face either, affirming everything they say. Body language is very important.

[–]P4_Brotagonist1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Being schizophrenic is such a double-edged sword, because it's damn near impossible for me to hold eye contact, but my blunted expressions are pretty much guaranteed permanent stoic face.

[–]refusewool1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is a fine line between being mysterious aloof and being what others might consider socially awkward. The difference is largely influenced by your SMV and body language, and eye contact is highly important. I don't know much about schizophrenia, but practice and perfect it as much as you can to the full extent of your capabilities.

[–]Disaster5323850 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It more comes down to how they feel that day then your SMV.

[–]PilledWhiteHat63 points64 points  (1 child) | Copy

Obligatory: read Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" if you want more information about this topic.

[–]TheBeachGoys0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, this is pretty much the whole part of one chapter.

[–]Retrohypnosis11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

The other big take away is that people, especially women, love to talk about themselves. Continue to ask questions and you can keep them talking forever.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

But at what point does one become just an orbiter constantly validating and asking questions about her life?

[–]Retrohypnosis5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

That depends on how you execute. You become that if you don't try and close. You don't need to be asking questions all the time, that's not the goal. It's either to get to know her to build a relationship, or just get her to trust you enough for her to let you in closer. It's your problem if you don't seize the opportunities, or don't see that she's wasting your time. Being an orbiter is your choice.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You steer the conversation with the questions you ask. Try to get it to something relatable with you. Once you get to that point it's like talking to a friend.

[–]Swelfie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You aren't going to become an orbiter in one conversation. Dont even worry about that.

Now, if you are talking to her 3x per week for months and getting nothing out of it.... You are an orbiter.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon35 points36 points  (4 children) | Copy

Guy: Wow, is this bus always this late? Girl: Yeah, I got to the library late last week because of it.

It's easy as fuck IF YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE. If you're less physically attractive, you'll have to lead the interaction a lot more to get her to invest.

[–]ShotgunTRP16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girls fucking hate when a chump asks too many questions. Interview mode conversation

[–]4skinlicker9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Guy: Wow, is this bus always this late?

Girl: yep

[–]Mail_Order_Lutefisk3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ding ding ding. Oh, and 98% of people under 40 in a major city are wearing headphones during their commute time. I'm a bit of a chatty cathy commuter myself, but 90% of people willing to make small talk are dudes my age or older or women 10+ years older than me. Women 25 or under have a mix of (a) fear (begins with stranger danger programming when they are toddlers and is completed with "all men are rapists" programming heavily reinforced in college) and (b) light onset Aspergers caused by waaaaay to much "interaction" with electronic devices.

[–]Henrywinklered2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not that simple for everyone. I am conventionally attractive and have always had trouble speaking with pretty girls. It wasn't instilled in me from a young age and though many women find me attractive, the problem persists and is something I am always working at. I don't doubt with the same amount of gusto I would have more success, but it's not easy by any means.

[–]1empatheticapathetic11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

The most important part is: amuse yourself. Interest yourself. Only ask things you actually are interested in, otherwise you're gonna have a shitty convo and she will not enjoy your company.

And read the situation. Honestly I wouldn't take the route of asking her about the intricacies of her psychology degree at a bus stop. I'd keep it fairly low investment and lighthearted. Make some jokes. Make her aware I am able to leave at any second and I'm not badgering her. As MattyAnon said above, if you're attractive you can get away with whatever. If you don't have that attribute on your side you need some other factor to keep her hooked. Humour or some interesting anecdotes.

[–]Sincam59BC1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Talk to people because talking to people can be interesting. I've met some really fascinating people and even made a couple of friends through random conversations. The more you do it, the more natural it will feel. Men, women, old, young, whatever.

Then, the next time you see someone you're attracted to, you have this wealth of experience and practice to draw from. Don't only talk to attractive women. Talk to all types of people, including them.

[–]cashmoney_x22 points23 points  (13 children) | Copy

How do you get over feeling like this is so "fake" though? Like, they mention the library and all of a sudden you're interviewing them about books they read. It just seems so contrived.

I dunno, not sure if this makes sense or not.

[–]Lyxeka17 points18 points  (8 children) | Copy

Wellll, you can try actually caring about the stuff you ask them?

[–]IkWhatUDidLastSummer5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

But then what is OP worth.. OP suggests to pick up on threads right, there are only a limited threads you can pick up from. So without that i guess people are just back to where they used to be.

[–]FredWeedMax2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

It's insanely hard to give a shit tho imo

[–]Veneck2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Curiosity is the thing you need to cultivate.

[–]FredWeedMax0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have no problem actually holding a conversation that's the thing, most women just don't tease my interest besides their pussy unfortunately, passed anger phase and am still in monk mode right now

[–]Lyxeka0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like sociopathic tendencies

[–]FredWeedMax0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry but most women in my experience are very unninteresting and don't have much to add to a conversation really, i'm 25 so maybe that's the age/social group i'm in but i doubt that

[–]Lyxeka0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So you're telling me most of your experience comes from talking to lame ass girls? Who tf do you talk to bro, any girl with an education should be capable of interesting conversations

[–]FinallyRed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I suffer from something like this. I've read a lot of high IQ guys feel similarly but at the same time I don't think that's the whole story. I think there's an element of ego protection going on, like you're trying to protect yourself from simply vibing with someone and delving into each other by focusing on the mundane content of the conversation. I think something worth focusing on is staying humble and present in the moment.

[–]HemorrhoidSneeze0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everything demonstrated here works for me because I'm genuinely curious about the answers. I like to make people talk. When you start people talking, you learn about stuff that you weren't even looking for. This kind of learning is very valuable and is what makes sites like Reddit interesting to me.

So just try to picture in your mind whatever the other person is saying and you will have lots of dark areas in the picture. These dark areas are the things you'll want to ask next. The more they say, the more you have to ask.

Sometimes you introduce some statement about yourself to justify the next question, which may trigger their curiosity to ask stuff too. For example: I love the beach too, I just went surfing last Sunday. What beach you like to hang out at?

[–]Henrywinklered-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

What is your end goal? Be interested or get laid? You only have a few key seconds to unlock the chance to spend more time with them in be future, so fake it now so you can find out what really interests you about them later on.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

often with people who do not share any similarities with me

Absofreakinglutely, and it's good to get out of the echo chamber every once in a while.

[–]aanarchist16 points17 points  (11 children) | Copy

i have a different issue actually. mine is i can talk about anything forever, but most people seem like they just don't have much to add to a conversation. most people don't even have enough interests or meaningful life experiences to truly add value to a conversation. i've had situations where i straight up carry conversations and it's like am i just too dominating of the conversation, do i need to give people more room to express themselves, or am i fine doing what i'm doing and it's them that's simply lacking in social skills. some people i have really great conversations with but they tend to be few in between, we just have this facebook and twitter culture where people don't have basic conversing skills and live in their head almost 24/7.

[–]yuyevin3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

That's because most people won't add to a conversation the way you will. Conversations are YOURS to direct. Don't be afraid to take the reigns.

[–]aanarchist11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

i usually do. i ask people things when i'm genuinely curious about something, and i'll direct it where when and how i want it. i'm coming to realize that when a person has something to say they'll make their way into the conversation, unless they're so damn timid that they need someone to give them permission to speak. feels a lot of the time like me giving a person my focus and undivided attention is wasted on them. it's like watching a boxing match where they just throw jabs the entire match and you're sitting there expecting some action. people are supposed to be these vibrant creatures full of life, unfortunately most are nowhere near close. 80-20 right?

[–]WithQueso 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

It's because no one wants to talk to anyone unless they can get something out of the interaction. Strangers are useless and people just want to talk to people they already know.

[–]aanarchist2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

it's some antisocial beta shit imo. it's a fear based mindset, you don't get anywhere in life by staying in your comfortable little box.

[–]WithQueso 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Most people are afraid and/or don't want to waste time with strangers.

[–]aanarchist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like my strangers dipped with queso.

[–]Auphor_Phaksache1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm the same way. It's because no one wants to talk about the topic or you're talking too much. I've learned to pass the potato when that happens.

[–]aanarchist1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

How would I pass the potato?

[–]Auphor_Phaksache2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Anyway... what's going on with you?"

"But fuck it... Whats up on your end?"

"I said that to say this, weren't you (relevant topic)?"

[–]C20745790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am going to use that phrase when trying to help any of my bros with conversation. "Pass the potato".

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is great and all, but just keep in mind that nobody wants to feel like they are being interrogated. Don't just ask question after question after question, you have to put some input in yourself. If you come from very different places in life, you may not have a whole lot to contribute to the conversation outside of asking questions. I went on a date with a very beautiful woman one time. This girl was definitely outside what I normally go after, judging by her pictures on OkCupid, she had a very rebellious Punk vibe to her. She had lots of tattoos in places like her Knuckles and hands but she was still slender, beautiful, and had an amazing smile. We had some great chemistry online so I decided to give it a shot in real life. We are at the coffee shop, and we have some pretty good conversation for about 45 minutes. Then, once we moved past some of the superficial stuff it started to get into some more heavy conversation, the conversation started to kind of lag. She was a high school dropout with an abusive family and worked a blue collar minimum wage job. She described herself as a mental vagrant, moving from place to place every few months with her dogs seeking new experiences and adventure. I am a college-educated white collar worker who's somewhat of a homebody and I grew up in a very wholesome loving wealthy family. I have tattoos, but they are able to be hidden pretty well.

After about 20 minutes of a slight feeling of tension and awkwardness, we ended the date and then later agreed that we didn't think that it was going to work out and we parted ways amicably. I just could not relate to her experiences and I had nothing of my own to really input. I couldn't talk about my experiences moving from place to place always seeking adventure, my abusive asshole dad and my brother who's in prison for vehicular manslaughter, or the woes of doing minimum wage factory work for 12 hours a day 7 days a week because I had not experienced any of that. Once all the questions were gone, there was nothing left.

[–]SiulaGrande-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

yeah cuz you came across as beta as fuck, asking the chick her life story for 45 minutes without any sexual investment. you wanna philosophize with bitches? welcome to the friendzone, aka

After about 20 minutes of a slight feeling of tension and awkwardness, we ended the date and then later agreed that we didn't think that it was going to work out and we parted ways amicably

also

I just could not relate to her experiences and I had nothing of my own to really input

ummm howabout inputing your dick into her vagina? youre a man; shes a woman; you guys have sexual fucking interest in common, you dont need to relate to her fucking life story, your dick needs to relate to her body. thats it.

youre forgetting what women are for: sexual relationships. you want to philosophize? read a book or talk to friends. do that shit with girls and their pussy -> sahara. or... dare i point this obvious piece of truth out again, their pussy goes to

we ended the date and then later agreed that we didn't think that it was going to work out and we parted ways amicably

you got fucked by the friendzone. just learn from this, correct your approach, and do better next time. also this

had an amazing smile. We had some great chemistry online

great chemistry online, probably like the 900 other dicks shes courting on OKcupid. you arent fucking special. i can tell you used to be (and may still be) very brainwashed by BP conditioning and do not know what true sexual intimacy feels like with women, the kind where they want you to tear their clothes off and ravage them. those relationships do not involve philosophical conversations and "great chemistry online". all they require is mutually communicated sexual interest (instigated by you and escalated by you) and plausible deniability to set the stage for a sexual encounter (also provided by you) which leads to future sexual encounters.

its a simple recipe. youre just doing it wrong.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wow. I didn't even look to see what sub I was in before making this comment, I came across this post on the front page. You neckbeards certainly do earn your reputation if you're not seriously trolling. Jesus Christ, I didn't think this sub could possibly so bad as the reputation suggests, but you sure do play right into the stereotype.

Sorry if I have standards, I'm not going to just fuck some chick who has a fucked-up life because I am so desperate to get my dick wet. We made a mutual decision that it wasn't going to work, but she's not the only chick by a long shot who expressed sexual interest in me. I've turned down more than a few girls who I wasn't interested in forming a relationship with because women are more to me than just wet holes. You can go fantasize about whatever pussy you're obviously not getting and go tell other people that they're doing it wrong. It doesn't change the fact that you're going to fucking your right hand for the foreseeable future.

Go ahead, tell me about all this mad pussy that you get. I'm not going to believe a word that you say.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nofap turns most people into social gods naturally. No need to even have to think much about it. I like natural.

[–]vsamael 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

it would work that way if other people played their part of the script

[–]chadjugo4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

A script?!! Jesus fucking Christ.

[–]samsonx 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Life is all about listening, something I noticed many, many years ago.

If you listen for long enough they will tell you everything and anything.

[–]Sartyrh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can confirm. Silence can loosen lips, above and below, in the right context.

[–]macaroon182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its not the words that are being said, u pay attention to the energy and feeling underneath. See where the spark of connection is between you and follow that thread

[–]MetalliMunk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This has motivated me alot to catch random documentaries and to be generally interested in everything. I have a good friend who is the best I've seen in this, can find anyway to relate to the person, either someone he knows or some past experience.

I greatly recommend to fill any boredom if your workout is done and start watching top rated documentaries, also Jeopardy is a solid show for random trivia.

[–]tolerantman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guy: Wow, is this bus always this late?

*Girl keeps staring at her smartphone

[–]lardblarg0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is basically motivational interviewing in a nutshell. I use this at my job to get homeless mentally ill addicts off street drugs and into psych meds and into stable housing. I also use it to score pootang. when i go out.

[–]grandaddychimp0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I figured out long ago the best way to have a conversation with someone is to just keep asking them questions to get them to talk about themselves. People like when someone wants to talk about them, because it doesn't happen often. People just want to talk about themselves, and they're more likely to respect you in the end because you make them feel like you actually care about them.

[–]1empatheticapathetic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I ask away and let them talk. No one ever does that to me (not bothered), and when they do in that rare occasion, I am incredibly paranoid about their agenda.

[–]shakespeareSMG0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is truly an art from. It works well when I'm not sleepy or hungry.

[–]samuelnine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What do you do when you live in a country were you are not allowed to speak to people on the bus then, let alone the bus stop?

[–]macaroon180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Awkward silences dont have to be 'painful' and even if it is pain is not always something to be avoided.

[–]TheronQDumont0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Remember, there are 6 ways to ask an open ended question.

Questions that start up What, Why, Where, When, Who, and How. Use why sparingly.

[–]Mouthpiece0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I prefer to be called Ten Million Dollar Mouthpiece, thanks.

[–]Bardaguhl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is the kind of material that I'm looking for in this sub.

[–]deville050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey..but where here doni escalate, kino and grab en by the pussy

[–]Project_Thor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is sheer simple brilliance. It's a shame this is what's necessary, however you are doing a service to save us from the Autistic Spergies.

[–]HalcyonAbraham0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I forgot where I read this but this is a technique called conversation bridging where you basically just talk about the last thing the person has said.

and build off from there.

[–]Mr_Talent0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I read this and immediately one thing stood out.

Look at all the lines from the guy. They are all questions. Active efforts to keep the conversation.

Now look at all the lines from the girl. All of them are answers, no questions, no effort in developing the conversation.

If this happens in a conversation, I know the girl is not invested and that I'm seconds away from being rejected.

[–]BeBeBeaverBros0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You say people love the sounds of their own voices. See, I hate being asked questions about myself and my studies and stuff. Oftentimes I feel like my conversations are just me interviewing people without adding anything unique to the chat. How do I overcome this?

[–]refusewool0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The mind and how complicated it is

Not a recommended talking point if you are trying to game this girl. You should never get into deep conversation with girls you plan to fuck. Only scratch the surface and keep things light and flirty. Save the deep philosophical conversation for your pals or strangers you never plan on fucking if you must.

[–]Avenger_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is good stuff. Probably the best post on this sub I've seen this year.

[–]MikesWay_NoTomato-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"How to have an inauthentic conversation by blowing words out of your ass nonstop in an attempt to gain something from people"

By the Red Pill. Also, keep an eye out for our next bestseller "DigNOty. Who needs morals when you have a tender penis that needs massaging every Saturday?"

[–]anonkinky-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

Why would any self respecting redpilled man who isn't a psycho/sociopath would want to do this?

[–]CantUntakeTheRedPill 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Considering people who want to improve their social skills psychopaths is a lame excuse for ego boost and thus not self-respecting

[–]anonkinky-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

To succeed in a corrupt cronie capitalist system one must become/or be born a highly functioning psycho/sociopath... Its the only way... And I refuse...

[–]TheStumblingWolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you know how to talk to people, you'll know how to get things you want.

[–]NotoriousTRP-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post man, quality advice for jumping from topic to topic and transition from building rapport to a fully fledged conversation

[–]ZikaDick69-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I usually come here to see what kind of fucked up theory or field report is posted, but this is some solid advice. This guy gets it, so read and learn! First upvote ever on theredpill...



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