336,038 posts

Overthinking: The Beta Male Trait That Is Holding You Back

by TrenGod37 on /r/TheRedPill
12 August 2017 04:03 PM UTC

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No matter how long I hang around TRP, and implement the principles in my life. No matter how much growth I experience or lessons I learn. Every now and then I will find myself questioning myself, or falling back into my old ways. It's always a wake up call if I can take something out of it. It keeps me on track. I'm sure we have all been there and will continue to go through these stages of growth.


This is what all our problems usually boil down to. If you're over at asktrp, asking what you should be saying or how you should be acting in certain situations. This is what is holding you back. It's a beta male trait that lives in all of us and we need to learn to tame it. Thinking is good, overthinking isn't.

We all weren't born with the answers, but we were born with the ability to find them. The problem comes when we are afraid to make a mistake, when we dwell on making the perfect choice. Whether it be a text to send, A job change, a boundary to create, whatever. You already have the direction inside of you, you just need to learn to get in touch with that direction. That direction is instinct, it's your masculinity. Learn to listen to it, act on it, and question it later.

A lot of times you will see on this sub, to ignore your emotions. You shouldn't ignore them, you should get in touch with them. Know what they mean, and what purpose they serve for you. I'm not telling you to walk around crying like a little bitch. I'm saying experience what you're feeling and figure out why you're feeling it and what purpose it's serving. Use it to your advantage. Maybe your anxiety is being mistaking for excitement. Maybe your fear isn't trying to save you, but showing you to get out of your comfort zone. Once you learn about your emotions and what they mean you can use them to your advantage. All your answers live on the other side of fear. Your overthinking is causing you to hide from your fears, instead of acting on them.

You're so worried about the perfect text to send to her. What should I say? Should I wait to send it? Then you send it and she doesn't text back right away and you beat yourself up over it. We need to knock that shit off. The red pill talks about putting yourself before the women so why do we constantly do the opposite? You should be doing what you want. When I say this I mean what your inner gut wants. What your inner beast wants. What your testosterone is telling you. Not what your mommy is or has told you.

Take a look at yourself. Do you want to send the text? Then do it. Do you want to approach? Then do it. Is it scary? For now, it is. Will it be awkward. at first. But that's normal. What's the right thing to say? Ask yourself what makes you chuckle. That's what you say. Whatever pops in your head. That's what you say. Stop taking yourself so seriously. And stop being afraid of fucking up.

We are these fun and cool dudes around our boys and once the woman comes along. We freeze up and get up in our heads and turn into this serious person all of a sudden. That's what's fucking you up. Deep down you're cool, you're fun, you're whatever you are and that's good enough. As long as it's coming from the roots of your being. Don't question it, just be it. Then see the results in comparison to your goals and adjust accordingly.

My student was as beta as they come, he is a changed man. Complete 180. What happened? He's still the same person, he just learned how to be free. How to get In touch with his masculinity and do and say what HE wants to say. He had it all along the only problem was he was trying to be cool. He was overthinking every little thing. He was programmed as most of us are before discovering TRP that he had to act a certain way and couldn't act the way his inner beast wanted him to act. He would talk to me normal as day but in the presence of a female say some stupid shit that he thought up in his head for the last 15 minutes.

Stop overthinking and just do what your gut is telling you. When you walk up to a woman. You shouldn't even be thinking what to say. You should know you have all the "right" words already in you. You should feel what makes you happy, and have fun and go with it. When I go up to a woman. I shut my mind off and say whatever pops into my head. Do I always have the right thing to say? Fuck no. Do I care? Fuck no. Most of my best interactions with people were when I was nervous and "didn't know what to say" and just said fuck it and winged it. You'd be surprised at the results. The woman who are supposed to be in your life will be there no matter what the fuck you say. As long as you're congruent With your masculine energy and not thinking of what is perfect.

You will succeed far more from learning and failing on your own than reading a canned thing to say on here. You're not helping yourself by saying things someone else told you to say. Guess what fellas we all don't know what the fuck the "right" thing is to say. Some of us are just more sure of ourselves. If u/GayLubeOil came on here and told all of you to squawk like a chicken at women and it will get you laid. I'm sure a bunch of you would do it. And guess what? It might fucking work because you're not thinking about it, you're just doing it and trusting in it because you trust in him. Learn to trust in yourself. He isn't some God he's just a man like me and you but he has put this shit to the test. He walks to his own beat and learns from his own mistakes. He isn't afraid to fail and learns along the way. That's the mindset you should be aiming for.

TL;DR Go out there say what you want. Do what you want. Feel what your body is telling you, act on it (as long as it's legal) and learn from it after. If your thoughts aren't servings a direct purpose to a solution you need to listen to your body and quiet your thoughts

Post Information
Title Overthinking: The Beta Male Trait That Is Holding You Back
Author TrenGod37
Upvotes 1111
Comments 74
Date 12 August 2017 04:03 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/45303
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6t985d/overthinking_the_beta_male_trait_that_is_holding/
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1 upvotesauca2 years ago

I needed this shit. Thank you.

28 upvotesstarky0000012 years ago

Me too they should throw this in the sidebar

55 upvoteswiredtobeweird2 years ago

I hated reading this. I've been lurking on trp for over a year and have so much knowledge. Hell, when my friends ask me for advice I spout trp answers and it always works for them. How come, then, when I want to do it I just freeze up? I hate it so much. Any advice would be appreciate.

I know. I know. "Just do it" but how do you... JUST DO IT? FUCK.

42 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

you're outcome independent. And care too much what other people think.

It's literally that simple. Just do it. What happens if for once. You actually did just do what you intended to do when you freeze up for whatever reason? Will you explode? What is the worst possibility?

There's a deeper reason why you "just freeze up." Figure out why and there lies your answer

83 upvotesHumanSockPuppet2 years ago

Exactly this.

The key to achieving outcome independence is approaching each interaction with the outlook of "I wonder what'll happen if I say this".

You have to treat girls like test subjects. You are a scientist in search of the maximum lulz.

5 upvotesCarson10992 years ago

Wow, what a way to put that. OP and your comment really makes sense to me.

2 upvotesHumanSockPuppet2 years ago


Now get out there and conduct some field research, dude.

1 upvotesallegoryofamonitor2 years ago

Would you do this kind of thing at work as well? I work at a college if that makes a difference.

3 upvotesHumanSockPuppet2 years ago

Do not flirt with women where you work.

6 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

when it comes to women, dont be afraid of making mistakes. you can throw 100 percent perfect game at 5 in a row and that awesome game fails miserably on number 6

Power forward and take the L when it happens. It will happen so why be anxious?

7 upvotes_MysticFox2 years ago

How do you not care what other people think, when

  • they could know someone that could fuck you over
  • they could ruin your life whether it's with a gun or by word of mouth
  • they could kill an opportunity of yours
  • so much more
21 upvotesbeginner_2 years ago

You are showing what overthinking combined with scarcity mentality looks like.

Lets be honest. You dont know any people with that much power over you. Also you somehow imply if you not care what others think you will act like a jerk and piss off everyone. Why is that?

2 upvotesFulp_Piction2 years ago

You freeze when you interpret a threat - social ostracization probably. Honestly stop giving a fuck and see how that goes.

12 upvotesSTFUIDGAFUCK2 years ago

" Seek improvement. Not perfection. " A while ago i have read a post here which hit me real hard. I have always been a guy who takes forever to make a decision, try new things or to take action.

I realized that what stopping me was i always try to be perfect. Try so hard to avoid mistakes. Avoid making a less optimal choice.
In fact, i should just go do it. Try and fail and learn. That s how we improve and get out of the comfort zone.

So now everytime when i find myself hesistating or doubting. I would simply ask myself. Is this improvement or perfection ? So everytime i do something or make a choice. I seek only improvement. Not perfection. So then i know it s totally fine even if i make mistake. Even if the choice i made wasnt the best. As long as i learn from it.

You win or you learn.

7 upvotesaegir982 years ago

I've had the same situation since i discovered game and trp.

I learnt the hard way that Theory and knowledge is useless without action.

Only way I tackle the stifleness and freezing up even tho I know excactly what to do is to try blue-pill beta game to prove to my brain it doesnt work. After that I gradually add more red-pill game into my interactions (this is where all the theory is usefull). Even tho this is painful, it puts disclosure and slowly kills my inner BP beta, since the brain wants proof not fact.

This may sound like complete BS but atleast it works for me. Besides, you already know what to do; "just do it".

2 upvotesbiggerbetterjobs2 years ago

advice: you're worried too much of what your peers think about you for acting in your own self-interest.

solution: don't.

2 upvotesWoujo2 years ago

I know. I know. "Just do it" but how do you... JUST DO IT? FUCK.

You do one tiny thing, and then another tiny thing, and those things snowball into big things.

2 upvotesPeter_B_Long2 years ago

I often just think about all the missed chances I've had in my life. All the 'fuck me' eyes I've received from girls but I didn't follow through with it. All the girls I've thought were super hot and just stared at, and then never seeing them again. All the time I've wasted talking to a girl and playing it safe because I was too afraid to make a move, and they just lose interest.

Just push your boundaries. Just go for it. 7 weeks ago I went to a club with my co-workers. I see a hottie in a tight red dress with a friend and another guy who looks like an orbiter. I feel cocky so I tell my co-worker, "watch this" and I approach the group. I say, "hey I like how you guys dance" with a smile. The guy they were with just laughs at me, the 2 girls just give me 'wtf?' looks and one of them shushes me away with her hand. I go back with my co-workers with my tail between my legs. That was my first and harshest rejection I've ever received. Later on in the night, I notice 2 guys show up whom appear to be the girls' boyfriends, and I instantly begin to feel better because it explained why they would be so cold. I get over it, focus on having fun with my co-workers, and then notice a HB7 looking over at me. My co-worker notices her too and tells me to approach her. I take a deep breathe, and tell her to dance with me. We dance for a few songs. She was with her mom and her aunt, so I didn't feel right escalating, but I ended up getting her # and her IG.

2 weeks ago I went to a reggae show by myself. It was a venue that was 30 miles from my house, so I knew that I wasn't going to see anyone I knew and I would never see them again. I focused solely on having fun and meeting new people. I was meeting friends later that night at a nightclub, so I was not focused on taking any girls home. Just focused on approaching, building a friendship, pushing my boundaries, and having fun. I met 7 new people that night, I met a guy who ended up buying me appetizers and a beer, I ended up getting the phone numbers of a HB8 and a HB7. The HB7 was tricky, because she was with a beta bux friend. He paid for her VIP ticket and paid $40 for a $3 bead bracelet. He was mate guarding her, but I ended up doing some kino on her and opening her enough to agree to hangout with me. We set something up for this Saturday.

So you really just want to push your boundaries and have a 'fuck it, I'm never going to see these people again" attitude.

1 upvotes-Jesse_James-2 years ago

It's not the act of doing it, it's the mentality of just doing it in general. Act like it's normal, and move on to the next conquest in you life

1 upvotesRoaring40sUK2 years ago

What everyone else says.. plus, you have to realise you are going to fail sometimes, but thats OK, learn from it. There are plenty more hot women out there. As OP says, just say something, just approach..

I am no expert, but what I have learnt is that if you have the basics down, from personal feedback (I know that many contributors talk about this also), by just approaching, you will be thought of as above 95% of guys.. even if you arent her type, or whatever, you will impress her..

31 upvotesElatea2 years ago

"Do you know what leadership means, It means that the person in charge gets second guessed by everyone. But if he starts second guessing himself, that’s the end. For him, for everyone......"

This post immediately reminded me of this quote, be the leader not the follower be in control of yourself.

3 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

Dope quote

45 upvotesendlesthoughts2 years ago

"If your thoughts aren't servings a direct purpose to a solution you need to listen to your body and quite your thoughts". Shit I need to do this. I know I should. I'm at the edge of all these theories, and jumping is the only thing I haven't done.

11 upvotesvic_rattle182 years ago

"What your testosterone is telling you"

God that makes so much damn sense. Every dude has that feeling deep down. Listening to it is what separates yourself from the still plugged-in guys

12 upvotesamit2402 years ago

I really needed this... I recently learn to let things flow even though they are hard. I saved this post for the future in case I get into overthinking again.

Thank you.

30 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Hard to overthink when you're running tren.

12 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

Haha! For some, my buddy over thinks on tren so much,he's worst than a woman on her period! I think it actually makes it worst

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

I could see it making things worse for overthinking women. But then again it brings your primal sexual instincts out which makes it more natural. I haven't run it yet I need a little more experience first.

I feel like overthinking in day to day stuff though in a low confidence/self esteem way would vanish completely though.

2 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

Everyone's different. It's a powerful compound. My favorite but I don't experience many sides from it. A lot of people do.

I have literally 3 buddy's who won't touch the shit because it fucks with their head too much. They become emotional as fuck. Thankful It doesn't for me.

1 upvotesPowerlifter12 years ago

Been on tren e for 9 months, just switched to ace. You learn to control your emotions, then again, I never experience weird sides like most.

2 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

Ace for life

1 upvotesWhorehouseVet2 years ago

Why tren A is better than tren E? The only difference is the ester and half life. Or do you mean it's just easier and faster for ace to leave your body when you're running it so you don't get too severe sides?

2 upvotesPowerlifter12 years ago

There's more tren per mg in ace versus e. Plus I just respond better to short esters.

1 upvotesdrallcom32 years ago

But please don't stop thinking. This post mainly applies to interactions with women. Don't blab out your next best thought at work.

10 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

I have written in there thinking is good. Overthinking isn't.

6 upvotesVmmon2 years ago

The real redpill is realising "overthinking" is a suger coated term masquerading the inability to think critically as just a bad habit.

9 upvotesThinkingard2 years ago

I think you are right it is a beta trait. Betas need to think twice because they are weak and vulnerable to risk. Alphas regularly take risks because they can handle the consequences.

I learned about the dangers of overthinking from Schwartzeneggar's biography Total Recall. I realized he rarely over thought anything and opened himself to new experiences and people with no fear of the outcome.

Overthinking leads to no action, and remember, alphas are all about action.

9 upvotesObjectiveBuffoon2 years ago

Basically have abundance and know that girl B is always there if you fuck up with girl A, and that you're taking a higher risk with a higher reward by just doing things and having fun and not thinking so much.

5 upvotesVasiliyZaitzev2 years ago

Here is the problem that so many men have: Same Planet, Different Worlds.

This is why I, and others, say, go approach the girl and make your intentions clear. If she gives you "LJBF" then withdraw attention, and go approach other girls. Doubling down will just end with you in her FriendZone.

3 upvotesbiggerbetterjobs2 years ago

the emotion of being "scared" of shit is beta. real men accept their fate whatever it is with dignity-whether it's getting arrested for being drunk in public and pissing on a mailbox or having their throat slowly sliced open with a dull butter knife by an ISIS fuckboi while being filmed on some shitty beta max video camera.

Sure there might be some bodily twitching which is slightly humiliating, but at least you didn't let your enemy see you cry and have a bitch fit before they end your life.

3 upvotesil_consigliere2 years ago

I needed this. I just completely bitched out on approaching a chick at a coffee shop this morning because I couldn't think of "the right thing to say." Fuck.

3 upvotestempjewman2 years ago

Thanks for the reminder. I'm finding myself overthinking recently. Some negativity is residing in me because I see many people with girls, while I'm struggling to set up dates on tinder.

I feel uncomfortable approaching, even though I'm in many situations where I should approach. I rationalize that she isn't interested, or I'll make the dance awkward, or I don't look good enough, am not tall enough, not masculine enough.

I need to ACT, and then learn from the interaction.

4 upvotesSamuraiPizzaCatz2 years ago

Ask yourself what makes you chuckle. That's what you say.

Uhh... I laugh at morbid shit.

4 upvotesgrandaddychimp2 years ago

Overthinking can just be the result of high anxiety, which can be due to low seratonjn levels in the brain. Some people's brains just don't work right no matter how hard they lift, how good of shape they're in,or how healthy their lifestyle is. After I started on anti-depressants, I felt like a kid again and stopped overthinking shit. It was incredibly liberating.

1 upvotes-prepper-2 years ago

There's a 40-70 rule. Once you have 40% of information it is okay to go ahead. No mentioning if you have all that you need but still doubting.

2 upvotessezamus2 years ago

My short FR about that shit: I was in a club, had fun, etc. Then I noticed astonishing barmaid - one of those girls that make my heart skip a beat. I wanted to chat her up, but started to overthink and got so fixated that approach anxiety won. Next week I went with the flow and had some conversation with her. Unfortunately she was engaged, but the point is, that all my doubts coming from overthinking were one, big bullshit. It helped me to go with the flow next times.

2 upvotesL1feIsGood2 years ago

Well said - should've followed this earlier this week.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

See Shia LaBeouf - Just do it

2 upvotesSumo942 years ago

You said your friend said some stupid shit but you say to speak your mind? What if a person is prone to saying stupid shit most of the time? I struggle this with man hence I don't even try to go talk with women.

2 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

Then you come and learn from it. This post is made for those who want everything spoon fed to them.

2 upvotestrpanak1n2 years ago

has anyone realised yet that overthinking is just a fruit of a larger problem???????

6 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

Overthinking can easily turn into depression

3 upvotesmnemos_12 years ago

Isn't that the damn truth. All it takes is continously reinforced negative belief.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Pretty sure that overthinking is a symptom, not precursor to depression

2 upvotestrpanak1n2 years ago

no thats not what im getting at

2 upvotesSigmaMale12 years ago

Low testosterone and poor physical health

2 upvotesleorycrankins2 years ago

This is awesome. This should be sidebar material

2 upvotesg8TUNESbra2 years ago

Thanks Coach, I'm ready to get back in the game now.

2 upvotesIkWhatUDidLastSummer2 years ago

Good post.

2 upvotesBelwastaken2 years ago

Being in the present is great advice for all people

2 upvotesRudeyyyy2 years ago

This was me in a nutshell and still have traces of it. I gotta say the one thing that helped me get over this was abundance. Who cares if she didnt respond? I got 2 other girls waiting.

2 upvotesSPREAD_THE_LOVE_77912 years ago

I'm loving this dope ass shit dawg.

1 upvotesSideak2 years ago

If you have trouble doing actions like this I recommend reading the 5 second rule book

1 upvotesMrUnknownQuantity2 years ago

Describes me perfectly. Favourited and saved for daily reminders. Thank you so much.

1 upvotesSPREAD_THE_LOVE_77912 years ago

Here's where I am unsure. I love this post and it sounds nice in theory, but here's the reality: I am blue pill! When I go out and talk to girls, I focus on not over-investing, not self-depricating/talking about my flaws, not validating myself, etc. My default personality has some characteristics that turn girls off. I thought the path was to focus on these things until they become natural. I am thinking a lot which is hurting me in some regards. I do want to go out and just go with my gut and say whatever I feel. It might work pretty good sometimes. But I really want to learn the skills to improve my game. I'm at a bit of a crossroads here maybe you can provide some insight.

0 upvotespurplecabbage2 years ago

Great advice, something I need to remember when I'm out. Love the post, but for the love of God, use commas!

0 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Why are you guys so damn anxious about being 'beta'?

0 upvotesCarnivOre932 years ago

Gay lube is the god and creator of this sub. He has fed or mouths with luscious pussy and we should worship him accordingly. Anything he says is the bible.

OP you fuck hoes bc you're on tren and that's that. It doesn't matter what you say bc you look physically fit.

2 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

I was more hoes fucking hoes when I was a heroin addict weighting 170 lbs then when I was on tren. nice try kid. I don't make excuses.

2 upvotesCarnivOre932 years ago

I didn't mean that in an offensive way at all but I see you're a sensitive little fella; must be the tren. Your post was actually good brother. For me it's quality of quantity so numbers mean nothing to me. I pop pills like a mother fucker and I'm still a handsome fit young gardener (pulling hoes, 160 lbs 10% body fat natty) myself.

-10 upvotesProject_Thor2 years ago

Didn't really waste my time reading this, I'm glad that the betas got some comforting words from a fellow faggot. You're enough, trust yourself, stay in complacency. Good Job Bud!!

5 upvotesbeta-to-boss2 years ago

Poor guy. Did mommy not show you enough attention when you were younger? Well here you go cupcake

-7 upvotesLuckylancer962 years ago

There is easy way to shut down overthinking. Alcohol handle it for me.

3 upvotesTrenGod37 [OP]2 years ago

If you want that as a crutch go ahead. I did that route in the beginning and it set me back years.

Now I don't drink

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