This post is for guys who are trying to break out of their shells and become more social. If you are not one of them then this post probably wont mean much to you. Even if you already are social, you may find this useful.

Everybody you talk to has something to teach you, I used to be a shy guy. I always wanted to be social especially when it came to women. I knew I had things to say but where they interesting? the right things? and what do I say next? That is the stuff our minds go through right before we engage in an interaction. We have all been there.

Like anything else this takes practice but you need to stop thinking and start saying whatever comes to mind. Meditation helps you become aware of this. Meditation isnt for everyone so if it's not for you then just try to be more aware of the thoughts that pop into your head. Say you are at a restaurant bar and someone sits next to you (HB) your first thought is "wow her food looks good" but then your mind starts saying "maybe I should talk to her, but shes eating so she probably wont want to talk to me" before that second thought pops into your head you should already be saying out loud your first thought. "wow that looks good what is it?" Practice this everyday, with everyone till it becomes second nature.

Start thinking out loud to people. Even if they give you a one word response, that is okay. Start doing this not to engage in conversations (of course if it starts a good one, go with it) but just to get you to getting used to thinking out loud. This becomes a very powerful tool over time. Become aware of your thoughts, and speak them.

You wouldnt believe the interesting people, friendships, women you will meet doing this. It makes conversations flow very easy and you dont have to worry about the "perfect" opener, your thoughts are the "perfect" opener. Not only does this help you socially but it gets you out of your head all together and allows you to become present. You are no longer thinking of what to say. You are just saying it.

I was at a bar last night and was talking to everyone I was sitting next to some older guy. He wasnt talking to anyone and by the look of it he didnt want to be. But fuck it, I said what was on my mind to him and found out he was from another country on a business trip and didnt know anyone. He was a chemist and informed me on a lot of information about his country, chemistry, traveling and more. Now I am a better person for it because I have acquired more knowledge also adding value to him by getting him to open up and have fun and meet new people I introduced him too.

Back in my shy days I would have thought myself out of it and never had that conversation with him or anyone else and really would have been missing out. People are very interesting and come from all walks of life, are dealing with all problems, and you can really learn something from everyone.

Now when I say talk I dont mean sit there and keep rambling on about yourself and thoughts. You need to listen, this is actually more important than speaking but your thoughts/words get the ball rolling. Once engaged allow them to do most of the talking, I know if you're reading this you probably heard this everywhere but I will reiterate. Ask them open ended questions, and again try not to be thinking about what to say next, listen and when its your turn to talk, pause, allow your next thought to pop into your head and vocalize it.

Pauses and silence in conversation are very powerful. Learn to be comfortable with that shit (again mediation helps with this). Usually if you allow pauses the person you are talking to will try to fill that gap (especially women) you will have to do less talking and it allows you to gather your thought for the moment. Be comfortable with silence, it is a very good thing to learn and shows that you are also confident.

Some people just dont want to talk, and are in their heads just as much as you are. If you change the perspective that everyone is kind of shy and in their heads worrying about themselves, it actually takes pressure off of you and allows you to kind of relax and realize its normal. If you try talking to someone and they arent very receptive, no big deal. Dont take it to heart and overthink "did I say the right thing?" "maybe I should have said this" no, no, no...Stop right there. Everything you did was fine, they just werent in the mood to talk, were in their head (maybe thinking about personal problems), it could be tons of reasons why and they all dont involve you. So dont make a big deal about it, say "Nice meeting you" and move on to the next.

For someone you who really have a hard time talking to new people start noticing how to speak to people you're already comfortable around, your rents, your boys, coworkers. You can even practice this on them By saying the first thing that pops into your head. Shy people who want to become more social usually are only shy because they are looking for a specific outcome in the interaction. That or they are worried they won't say the "right thing" or what people might think. All of these things really don't matter to the other person. Most people are happy to talk, especially about themselves. If even this seems to hard, take it slow. Start by saying hi to everyone you meet for a couple days. Then maybe hi and how your day going? Take it one question further each time but show genuine interest in the person when you ask these questions. Start thinking more curious about the person and talk to them based on those thoughts. Hope this can help some of you.

TL:DR talk to everyone, you think it, you should be saying it. Listen and just go have fun. Spread your unique ideas to the world and network yourself you never know who you will meet.