317,196 posts

To the man shooting 3's in the gym today

1348 upvotes
by lietruth on /r/TheRedPill
17 August 2017 05:41 PM UTC
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I play basketball a few times a week at a local indoor court near my apartment.

Often I see this guy there, we'll call him Brad. Brad's about 5'9, 28 years old, he's handsome— but only because he takes care of himself. He lifts, get's haircuts, he's in decent shape, lean. He has male friends, he does things, can hold a conversation and takes care of himself. Not a Chad by any stretch... but he's working on himself continuously.

Whenever we're playing basketball in the gym, I often witness Brad approach women charismatically and effortlessly. I've seen him cold approach 8's and 9's, convince them to watch him play basketball for 30 mins, then walk out of the gym with them after the game.

Today was different. I see Brad doing his thing as usual, shooting hoops and approaching women when the game dies down.

Brad see's this blonde HB9 and immediately B-lines to the locker (10 feet away from the court). Walks up to her and starts chatting with her. 2 mins pass, She's not feeling it, resting bitch face and giving him some dirty looks. He keeps at it... invites her to play basketball. She's still not feeling it.

Then about 15 seconds later, she turns her back to him without saying anything at all and gives him the most cold and unexpected "slam the locker in your face" rejections I've ever seen. It could have been out of high school musical.

I'll never forget what he said to her.

Just so she could hear him, he calmly — without chagrin, says "your loss", as she walks away.

He picks up his ball, turns around, takes 2 steps and sinks a 3 from way downtown. Continues to play ball for the rest of the night, unfazed.

I commend Brad to get up after rejection like this. There was at least 15 men and women around him that saw exactly what happened. Most men would have social shame or at the very least some humiliation or discomfort. He didn't even flinch. Just turned around, says the truth, then shoots a 3.

We often talk back and forth about abundance mentality on TRP, but only in theory. Maybe some of us are like brad, but surely not all of us are. How many of us are practicing in real life situations like Brad? Who here would have even have approached an HB9 after her workout? I've never seen abundance mentality first hand like this in my life. This man didn't attach any of his value or worth to talking to this woman. He was simply a man who saw a woman he found attractive and approached her to see if she was also interested.

I know Brad personally, he's a great guy, and the words "your loss" is exactly the way to describe the how this woman should feel tonight.

Post some FR's in the comments that you experienced rejection and how you could have handled it differently.



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Comments

139 upvotesSlyAM2 years ago

What so many guys seem to forget is that sometimes rejection isn't your fault. You could have done everything right, but she still rejected you and for some of us that cracks our fragile ego's. Rejection can be purely situational.

Many guys seem to forget that women have bad days to. On one day that girl could've been in a good mood and gave brad her number because she was happy and felt like responding to brads advances. On another day maybe she is on her period, or maybe she just got pumped and dumped by chad and she is pissed off because he won't text her back, or maybe she just got some bad news about her mother who is in the hospital. So, of course she isn't gonna want to give anybody the time of day, let alone fuck them.

Remember that rejection can be purely situational. I've seen plenty of guys with near perfect game get turned down because for some reason the girl was not in the mood. Unless you are Billy the PUA going around approaching girls with cheesy pickup lines and with little to no game (no wonder you can't get a date), don't get so down on yourself for getting rejected! It most likely had nothing to do with you.

22 upvotesyallapapi2 years ago

This right here. You never know what kind of drama someone else has going on in your life that will prevent you from being open to meeting new people. Happens to all of us. Chalk it up to bad luck and move on

3 upvotessuxxos2 years ago

I always tell that to guys, but they just won't listen.

Same goes for sex, yes, sometimes you go on a date and don't end up fucking a girl, but it doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong or you don't lift enough. Perhaps girls was on period or didn't shave her legs or had an infection or mismatched underwear. Yes, girls do leave for such stupid reasons.

1 upvotesempatheticapathetic2 years ago

Because of the ego, and how important the ego is towards pulling women, it's hard to remember this and not take it personally every time.

Brad is in a good place mentally and has abundance.

579 upvotesLeJamesBron322 years ago

No FR but Brad sounds like someone I'd love to hoop with

304 upvotesMoneyley2 years ago

for sure. He sounds clutch.... drained a 3 under pressure

95 upvotesDoNotEatTheTail2 years ago

That's kind of the point, though. The pressure was off.

105 upvotesMoneyley2 years ago

well the way I saw it, the pressure was on. The chick tried to publicly humiliate him. He "meh'd" it and went on to drain a 3. Most people wouldve been awkward as fuck trying to play again knowing that everybody is watching.

72 upvotesmemphisjohn2 years ago

What if I told you, "pressure" does not exist, except as a construct you created inside your own imagination?

Brad, apparently, has chosen not to imagine that silly sort of thing.

24 upvotesspeeney2 years ago

The zen in that statement is profound

19 upvotesp3n1x2 years ago

Your brain told you to feel pressure, Brad's brain said, "your loss", now lets ball. He was never under pressure in the first place.

8 upvotesMoneyley2 years ago

Damn bro.... Brad's thought process is hitting on that "Confucious Say" next level shit

25 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Pressure was on. 20 some people saw her reject him coldly.

1 upvotesBrotherFrankie2 years ago

ahhh, but who gives a shit what other people saw or think they saw?

(am i correct in that line of thinking? i don't give a poop what they think and its none of my business what they saw or think.. IDK just learning)

7 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

There are real life consequences to being socially rejected. Dude flipped that by staying calm. On top of it he looked badass by draining a 3.

Everyone says they DGAF but very few act accordingly in such a display.

1 upvotesRFF6712 years ago

Not brad, he don't give a fuck

7 upvotesSmigg_e2 years ago

Brad sounds like a cool cat.

172 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Reading stuff like "He shouldn't have said a thing" just shows me how people don't actually understand. It doesn't matter what he does, it matters where it comes from.
"Hey, Jake want to come eat ice cream after the game?"
"Nah..."
"Well your loss, see you tommorow."

People act as if their interpretation is a fact for this story. Which is bullshit. They could actually be right, but just aswell could be wrong. To me it seems Brad just doesn't even think about it. He tried something, saw it works, then started repeating it. Just like a caveman discovering how to make fire. People overthink things, Brad doesn't.

-11 upvotesDead-A-Chek2 years ago

Your analogy is slightly flawed in that Jake and the person asking are already on friendly terms. Not something I'd think is considered polite to say to a stranger. Idk if you guys care much about politeness here that's just how I see it.

Aside from that, he didn't need to say that at all. If he really didn't care he would've just gone back to playing ball. Instead it reads like he needed the last word to feel good about himself. It's not her loss because she wasn't interested. It was 100% his loss because he approached her indicating interest and she wasn't into it. He didn't get what he wanted.

Whole story just reads like he's kind of a dick.

26 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

"Hey man! Yes, you there! Want to join our team? We playing ball 6 on 6. But we need one more guy!"
"No, thank you."
"Well, your loss. guy goes asking the next person"

Aside from that, he didn't need to say that at all. If he really didn't care he would've just gone back to playing ball.

I understand the point. There was no need in the conversation to follow it up with a reaction. Fully agree. However... people don't need some special inner agenda to do things. Maybe he just felt like giving his opinion to the situation. Maybe he indeed got his ego crushed and felt in need to reestablish it. Entirely possible. Every quess is as good as another, but fuck over-social scienceing this thing to death and then even put up a fact based on subjectivly observing (reading this) the subjective observation (guy who wrote thread).

I give you another analogy to give another possible reason for the "Your loss."

You have cancer and about a week more to live, probably less. You win in the lottery. Simply creating a microcosmus where you have more money than you could ever use or invest before your death.
...
Now you decide to experiment for fun with it. See how people react if the "in the real world noone walks around with a plate of cookies, giving you free shit" quote actually became true. You walk through town and give people you see a 200 dollar note each. You smile at them, tell them something about how in the world good things can happen or some shit and go to the next. Sooner or later you will find someone who passes on the free money. "Your loss." and then onwards to the next one.
...
This analogy illustrates how someone can actually use that statement simply as a reaction to "not understanding" someones behaviour. Maybe wanting to point out someones mistake. Have you never pointed out someones mistake even if you werent close to them? Say Brad 100% fully believes he is "the best thing which can happen to a girl" and then choses said girl from the story. If she is absolutly desintrested the very same chain can happen which has nothing to do with a hurt ego.

This however is also just a possible theory and not a fact i would declare truth. It could be true that he got cockblocked and had his ego crushed. It just isn't the factual truth of how the world and people "must" work.

1 upvotesvwzwv2 years ago

"Hey man! Yes, you there! Want to join our team? We playing ball 6 on 6. But we need one more guy!" "No, thank you." "Well, your loss. guy goes asking the next person"

that's not comparable because the guy asked wasn't acting like he was better than the others or putting out shit body language.

That said, I'm sure Brad could have said something better at that moment or nothing at all. The diff between me/you and brad is brad doesn't overthink. So either way brad is right and we are 'wrong'.

-1 upvotesDead-A-Chek2 years ago

If Brad believes that he's a narcissist.

8 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

I agree. Though i don't care how good or bad Brad is. Him being right in his behaviour was never my point. People being judgemental without proper knowledge was.

5 upvotesblacklightsleaze2 years ago

Saying "Your loss" is just to fuck with her. Women do this all the time.

6 upvotesShaman66242 years ago

If you want to game you have to be polarizing. So if he sounds like a dick to you that's great for him and it means that what he's doing works.

0 upvotesDead-A-Chek2 years ago

Lol sounds like you're just making excuses for being a dick to be acceptable.

5 upvotesShaman66242 years ago

Acceptable? What does it matter if it's acceptable in someones arbitrary moral compass. It's against the rules to moralize in this sub. It's about what works. If what works is being a dick then so be it.

1 upvotesDead-A-Chek2 years ago

Ew

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

No. It just reads like that to you.

242 upvotesheelface2 years ago

Great attitude and a lot cooler cause he drained the 3

224 upvotesi_forget_my_userids2 years ago

Everyone clapped and carried him off the court on a bed of $100 bills.

93 upvotesMail_Order_Lutefisk2 years ago

And a talent scout for the LA Lakers signed him to a 10 day contract so the team can work him out. An Adidas rep was also there and is in negotiations with him for a shoe contract.

1 upvotesK0mmissar2 years ago

And Brad's real name? Albert Einstein.

27 upvotesMatthew_NZ2 years ago

Brad doesn't use names. He simply is.

24 upvotesVancouverSucks2 years ago

He actually airballed it and then tripped over his shoelace.

54 upvoteshodltaco2 years ago

Brad is smart. Doesn't matter your looks or your wealth it really is a numbers game.

20 upvotesM1lf_Hunter692 years ago

What advice do you veterans have for a 20 yr old guy who is just getting around to these theories? I know that I should be focusing on my craft. I work out and I take care of my self in terms of grooming. I get girls but they're usually HB5 or HB6 and they're definitely not as often as I'd like even with the low level of hotness that they are. Should I just accept the level of chicks I can attain rn while continuing to progress my self mentally and physically?

47 upvotesGarandTheftAvto2 years ago

TL;DR - don't ever accept the characteristics of people around you (hotness in girls, friendship in guys, or anything) as being "as good as you can get," but recognize that your age and current lifestyle/hobbies are particularly important in determining your SMV relative to others in your environment.

At 20 I assume you're going for girls between 18-22, and not having luck with the 21-22 crowd. At least I didn't at that age. This makes sense for you and it did for me, because the girls in that bracket usually like older, more experienced, wealthy, tingle inducing men or whatever. Nothing wrong with that. What you're feeling is likely the gap between your current SMV and the SMV of men older than you, as they compare to the options of women your age. Women are generally considered literally as hot as they can get between 20-22, why would they go for you when men usually peak much later? You'd literally need to be top 1% or something to pull the best of the best of that age group at your current spot in life. Nothing wrong with this, just keep working on yourself.

For example, why would a girl hang with you when a 21-25 year old can buy her and her friends Mike's Hard Lemonade? When the 21-23 year old has a cool internship or is finishing school and working or going to be a doctor with the tingles or whatever?

Depending on where you are and what hobbies you have you'll have a much different time approaching after you're 21+ and going to bars, if that is what you're into. Forgive me, bars and college and urban late 20s stuff is my specialty. Regardless, keep focusing on you and improving yourself- but pay close attention to the characteristics of the women you're seeing and the other people in your life, so you have realistic expectations of their behavior in the future. You will get better every year, and its likely at 25-27 you'll have it much easier with the 22 year old HB9's or whatever you're fiending for now, again, at least i did. Just give it time and remember that your best years are ahead of you and those girls are generally considered to be in the middle of theirs in terms of physical attractiveness.

1 upvotesM1lf_Hunter692 years ago

Dude thanks for taking the time to write all this. The experience you guys have accumulated and compounded on is priceless to me. I'm glad I was able to find a community of people who are so helpful. Ironic since we are all males and we are actually competing with each other while also picking up our fallen brethren to the lie of true love. Thanks again.

7 upvotesGarandTheftAvto2 years ago

Of course man, see my other response below for more too. Remember that competition makes us all better, and this forum is a valuable place to share insight into self improvement without having to AMOG each other or feel like we can't speak our minds. Also, there are plenty of other men on here with more fleshed out thoughts on our concepts, always read through the posts of our ECs and Vanguards, they all teach in different ways and all have a lot to offer. Thank you for the compliment in any event, feel free to hit me up whenever you have questions.

9 upvotesSurf_Or_Die2 years ago

At 20 I assume you're going for girls between 18-22

more like anyone with a pussy.

7 upvotesFuture_Alpha2 years ago

Depending on where you are and what hobbies you have you'll have a much different time approaching after you're 21+

I dunno about after 21+, it definitely has not gotten better for me (I am 24), but that may be because I am doing a post-bacc to get into med school. So in other words, I am stuck in college undergrad at 24. Hopefully this improves.

1 upvotesBallosaurus2 years ago

Get over it. I'm 30. I'm an M1. Average age of my class? 23. I was taking my prereqs with 18 year-olds just over a year ago. At some point you become the sage with plenty of life experience.

I can party harder than my classmates. I work out harder than my classmates. I study longer than my classmates. Why? Because of my experience. "I know why I'm here. Do you?"

3 upvotesFuture_Alpha2 years ago

I have not considered that perspective before. Thanks for that. I know why I want to do medicine, but they are reasons that are not 'traditional' but important for me.

Do you find your age made it easier to get women?

1 upvotesBallosaurus2 years ago

Simply put, "women" is not why I'm here.

3 upvotesGarandTheftAvto2 years ago

It's all relative I think. "Too young for the bar" is a powerful social hurdle to overcome. In any event I'm sure during/after med school you'll likely see another huge jump in relative SMV. Male doctor at 34 is comparable to female 24 year old when controlling for the characteristics the opposite sex looks for. It was like night and day for me after day 1 of law school, at least.

1 upvotesFuture_Alpha2 years ago

It was like night and day for me after day 1 of law school, at least.

Really? Kind of curious, did you suddenly start seeing more success with female peers or random females on the street?

5 upvotesGarandTheftAvto2 years ago

Yes, night and day. I even got more positive responses when approaching people after I said I was going to go to law school- which I happened to hate. Getting attention just for saying you will do something can be very toxic to self improvement.

In terms responses from peers vs. randoms, it all depends, right? We all have internal/external thoughts about ourselves that inform other people about how they should treat us. Internally, we have our confidence, fear, intelligence, shame, charisma, will, etc. These qualities when increased or decreased usually cause people in our environments to act differently to us. Generally, people in our environments cannot react to our internal changes or improvements without getting a stimulus or a social cue of some kind. Our actions and behaviors, including the facts we disclose about ourselves, can great change peoples' reactions to us.

So use confidence as a proxy for one of these qualities. I was going to law school, which made me more confident. I'm sure this confidence was picked up by my female peers, which in turn caused them to react more positively to my approaches. Of course, confidence in general is attractive. So what about the law school information in a vacuum? Or with strangers, like you said? Best approximation I recall is when I stated the information to strangers I did not know but was not displaying confidence. I was distracted, or felt shitty, or was embarrassed about something, or afraid, or really any other negative feeling. I still got way way better responses to my approaches because of that fact. I guess there is some confounding there with confidence as an attribute being wrapped up in the good law school news or the good medical school news, but I hope my analogy gets the point across.

Another decent analogy would be an old TRP truism - when the ripped guy stalks you, hes "passionate." When the ugly guy does it, hes a creep. When the future-lawyer isn't being fun, he's too busy planning to be a rich deal maker guy. When the no-career-having person isn't being fun, its because he's a loser.

1 upvotesIkWhatUDidLastSummer2 years ago

Even when i was 14 like the girls in my class they looked to date 15-16 year olds.

7 upvotesHarry_Wangs2 years ago

Just go for whoever you'd like. I don't know your situation, but getting girls got a lot easier each year past 18 for me. Even going from 20 to 21 things got easier.

Also don't focus on TRP theories, it might make you bitter and worse with women. Just go out, approach women you like, have fun, and live life. TRP is more useful as a safeguard so you won't get fooled by manipulative people/women.

4 upvotesmax_peenor2 years ago

What advice do you veterans have for a 20 yr old guy who is just getting around to these theories?

Stop giving a fuck what other people think about you. One day you will be just as dead as those you are worried about.

Should I just accept the level of chicks

Others might have different experiences but for me fucking any woman is still pre-selection. There was this one HB8 that I very briefly courted but decided closing on her was going to be more effort than it was worth. A workmate of hers was maybe an HB4; pretty face but dumpy in every other respect, yet thankfully not a land whale. At a large party where both were present, the HB4 lifted her ass to me and I let the booze do the walking; took her to a bedroom and plowed her for hours. After that (but not that night), the HB8 wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. She kept calling me to hang out. She would outright expressed her disbelief to me that I fucked her workmate. Eventually, she just presented her ass and that was that. She couldn't stand that I would fuck the HB4 and not her. Of course, being a woman, she totally skipped past the part where she was being difficult about it.

2 upvotesburner_account992 years ago

Who cares what anyone says about who you fuck.

Here's the criteria. Do you WANT to fuck her? Does she get your dick up?

Then there you go.

Also protip, just stop using the numeric ranking system of "she's a 6 and she's an 8". Yes we all get it, but at the end of the day, it will just fuck with your head. You'll treat some girl you think is a '10' like a porcelain doll, and then lose her to some guy who don't give two shits.

Forget the numbers. There are girls you want to fuck, and those you don't. Yes some are more desirable/ popular/ are treated differently, but you shouldn't care about that.

Most "leagues" are a bit fictitious. Perception > reality. You can be a pauper in one room, and a King in another, being generally the same guy. Maybe in a different set of clothes and randomly bestowed social status.

Take chances. Go outside your comfort zone. Make a bold move. Take up ballet or gymanstics or BJJ or something outside the box. That's how you grow and learn. Doing. Experience. Novelty. Adaptation.

18 upvotesPhilhelm2 years ago

Brad. It rhymes with Chad.

6 upvotessatanicpriest132 years ago

You're in the gym doing progressive overload routines and counting macros while Brad is sinking 3 pointers and casually hitting on women. REEEEEEEE

13 upvotesMRPFuckMe12 years ago

The gnarliest rejection I ever had. At a little watering hole in my neighborhood with a buddy. Feeling pretty good. Had just gotten a number from a HB6 in under 2 minutes.

I see a blonde HB9 across the room. Of course I notice she's hot. But then I hear her speak German. I speak German--lived in Berlin for three years. (Story takes place in the U.S.) Anyway, I think this is gonna be an easy approach.

She's with a much less attractive girlfriend and there are a couple orbiters there too. I walk up, start chatting with the less attractive friend, then turn to her and introduce myself and ask her a question in German. She responds, in English, "Yeah, I don't want to talk to you." Her friend and the orbiters laugh. I walk away, pretty embarrassed.

The only lesson I learned for the long term is that I need to work more on my SMV. For that particular interaction, I think I would have been better off chatting more with the less attractive friend for a while to establish a rapport with the group before going for the HB9. Other than that, I wished I would've been more like Brad and smirked and walked away instead of the tail-between-my-legs walk of shame.

3 upvotesAntiBernardPollard2 years ago

I wouldn't have walked away. See, that could have been a shit test. At the very least, end the interaction on your own terms.

11 upvotesproductive_monkey2 years ago

A guy who leaves with girls from the gym with regularity actually does have abundance.

3 upvotesMetalgear2222 years ago

Most of my pulls are from my gym. Many which were cold as ice on first approach and receptive the 2nd and 3rd time. f-close ratio somewhere around 60%. Brad knows the gym is a good place to pull. Every girl at the gym at least somewhat has her shit together or she wouldn't be there.

19 upvoteswendysNO1wcheese2 years ago

That man grew up to be....Michael Jordan.

9 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

"My own high school team is cutting me?"

"Yup."

"Your loss." (Turns around dunks from FT line.)

9 upvoteskgriffeyjr22ataol2 years ago

I agree with some of the comments I read here. The best part of the story is how he turned around and drain the three from way downtown LMAO Straight fucking pimp

9 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

It would be a bit butthurt if he didn't immediately drain 3's

7 upvotesred_matrix2 years ago

Damn, I still treat the gym as sacred and off limits for approach. Guess I need to change that!

9 upvotesSir_Distic2 years ago

I'm the same. That's my temple where I go to improve myself. I don't even pay attention to the gym bunnies doing squats while all the other guys drool. I'm there for the iron.

I won't change that any time soon. There are other places to approach. The gym is for me and me alone. That's my take on it.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

Amen, its the 'sanctuary' for me.

7 upvotesantariusz2 years ago

The master has failed more times than the apprentice has ever attempted...

I've definitely approached thousands of women to get my triple digit n-count... it really does eventually just become no big deal...

9 upvotesPhilhelm2 years ago

Completely unrelated, but it reminds me of the time that I made two half-court shots in a row. I used to play casual basketball with a group of friends and wasn't a great shot, but got extremely lucky that time. Some black kid who we had played against earlier was like, "What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?"

3 upvotescherryCanSuckMyDick2 years ago

The vast majority of people really have a hard time with the concept of sample size

10 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

so many times women reject men and its nothing but a default setting to see how he takes it. Its a scarecrow for Betas.

About a millisecond after Brad shrugged her off she felt the spasm of vagina tingles that only a jerk with options can provoke

1 upvotesChatmauve2 years ago

Or, you know, she just ended her workout and couldn't care less about sex at that very moment? She was probably more turned on with the idea of a hot shower.

10 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

You need to read up son. Women generally like to see psycho social dominance and blasting through a rejection with a devil may care attitude has gotten my dick wet many times.

1 upvotesxelxour2 years ago

Agreed, once I did a newbie approach when I was starting out and the chick threw out the "I have a boyfriend" shit test. I froze for a second. I walked away and laughed to myself pretty heavily once I realized it was a shit test. She looked more receptive when she saw me laughing but didn't re approach.

18 upvotestb876702 years ago

I never got that response. I told a handful of women 'your loss' after unsuccessful attempts, whether this is 2nd date, first date, first meet, all of them did not take it well. One called me a faggy loser. Another called me a skank (yes, lol, I can't make that up) and the one who said that after 2nd date was all over how great I was then when I told her I can't get that serious that quick (she was flipping out baby crazy and wanted marriage asap and thought 1st date sex was a down-payment on that) she told me I was going to die alone. Yep, totally dying alone with a 22yr old in my bed right now and several ounces of my nut in her gut.

12 upvotesAugustuscrassus2 years ago

Nut in her gut. I gagged and laughed

8 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

That's the sloppiest seconds I've ever heard of.

2 upvoteshoward_roark7142 years ago

Some women love that baby batter.

64 upvotesMattyAnon2 years ago

Just so she could hear him, he calmly — without chagrin, says "your loss", as she walks away

While this is a great attitude to have internally, the fact that he needs to say it out loud is an ego defence mechanism.

All you need to say to yourself is "that happened and it doesn't matter"... and you say NOTHING.

Don't be the guy playing pool who tuts disapprovingly at himself for missing a shot, implying that he normally does better. Just take the loss and get on with life and quit trying to persuade yourself and others that you are better than you are - this is counter productive. Other people aren't fooled and you're masking reality for yourself and thus preventing improvement.

TL;DR: Do nothing, say nothing, not even "your loss".

45 upvotesTehJimmyy2 years ago

Depends how you say it. Your loss with no strings attached and smirking is genuine. Other is your ego.

8 upvotesDead-A-Chek2 years ago

"Your loss" to a complete stranger is never gonna come off well if we're being honest with ourselves.

15 upvotestrp_ocd2 years ago

Fake it til you make it.

Your loss? Is the right mindset, even if it's not the correct thing to say. That's if she even heard it.

2 upvotesapollosapien2 years ago

That's not necessarily true. Real always recognises real.

If that was an extended dialogue in a more social setting and Brad was truly 'faking' it, the outcome would more than likely be different.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

I bet Brad eventually bangs this chick.

14 upvotesBaconMeTimbers2 years ago

Totally disagree, it depends how it's said. If it's said as if you're shrugging, then it sounds genuine and it's totally cool. However, if it's said with even a hint of saltiness, then yea I agree, it's said thru the ego

23 upvotesKisstafer12 years ago

Ya, because to her it isn't a loss, she wasn't into him, regardless of how great he is. That's the only thing that I would change as well.

13 upvotesanothdae2 years ago

Ya, because to her it isn't a loss

A loss is a loss, regardless of whether you know it at the time or not.

0 upvotesKisstafer12 years ago

You're assuming that what he's offering is what she wants... She might have thought he was ugly... All women have different tastes, you can't say this conclusively with any confidence so to make the assertion makes you sound like a butthurt bluepill.

1 upvotesanothdae2 years ago

I am not assuming anything.

I am saying that "A loss is a loss, regardless of whether you know it at the time or not."

Which is why I said that and that alone.

If I wanted to comment on the situation with the guy and the girl, I would have.

4 upvotesShozOvr2 years ago

I prefer to say something like "well it was nice to meet you", no matter how badly it goes. That way they can't later justify their actions (especially if they were rude).

2 upvotesDat_Chad2 years ago

do not underestimate the hamster

6 upvotesmr-satan2 years ago

Doing nothing and saying nothing in that situation makes you look incredibly socially awkward.

"Your loss" is a great response.

2 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

said it better than i could bro

0 upvotesMattyAnon2 years ago

No. It's not. It's a really terrible response because it's an ego defence which shows it matters.

9 upvotesmr-satan2 years ago

You're over analyzing. It's a casual and simple reply.

0 upvotes330d2 years ago

Shrug and smile is the correct response, shows your indifference without putting her down for no reason.

1 upvotesmr-satan2 years ago

Why are you nit-picking and over analyzing this? Sure, you can shrug and smile. Whatever.

Anything but standing there with a blank look and zero feedback looking like a fool.

9 upvotesTheOriginalWasBetter2 years ago

I also agree. "Your loss" sounds pretty salty in any context.

You don't necessarily need to say nothing, but if you do it should be friendly or playful. If she's being rude you can say something like "sounds like your having a bad day, come say hi another time when you're feeling better", but you if she's being rude because you won't take a polite no for an answer then that doesn't work either.

If nothing else you can just say "well if you change your mind come by and say hi" or something to that effect. Ending the conversation with an open invitation is a great way to be approachable in social situations and maintain outcome independence. It is very common for people to be passive aggressive and mean to people when rejected and you really stand out when you aren't like that.

8 upvoteskgriffeyjr22ataol2 years ago

Is that really better to say though? So you're basically saying "hey I know you just rejected me but I will give you the time of day if you will honor me with your presence another time". I'm not trying to be smarky,I am legitimately asking if saying what you suggested could give off that desperate vibe.

3 upvotesTheOriginalWasBetter2 years ago

It's not being desperate. Desperate is begging or chasing after someone after they said no. The woman doesn't even know you so why would her rejection be personal? If a woman you dated dumps you, and you're still asking her to take you back, then yeah, that's desperate, but there are dozens of reasons why a woman might not be in the mood to meet a stronger and being in a serious, "your loss" kind of mentality just makes you look insecure.

3 upvotesMattyAnon2 years ago

"well if you change your mind come by and say hi" or something to that effect.

Yeah... if anything will turn it around it's this. "Ok... cool... well if you want to talk I'll be over there" demonstrates value.

It is very common for people to be passive aggressive and mean to people when rejected and you really stand out when you aren't like that.

Absolutely. I like this a lot.

7 upvotesblacklightsleaze2 years ago

I agree with you and TheOriginalWasBetter. "Your loss" sounds salty, he said it to make her fell bad about her decision. Or he just rationalize his loss to fell better about himself. People do this all the time.

"Ok, have a good day" is far better answer in my opinion.

Imagine some sales consultant offering you product and you refuse, so he ends the conversation with "well, you lose". Sounds fucking retarded. Gypsies on the street markets do this.

3 upvotesCrimson_Eyes2 years ago

Does it demonstrate value or desperation? Honestly curious, not debating it. I've been trying to figure out whether leaving an open offer like that is a negative or a solid plan.

1 upvotesInfiniteAscent2 years ago

"sounds like your having a bad day, come say hi another time when you're feeling better"

That's failure to accept the situation. So is "your loss" depending on how he said it - if the tone is anything that may be seen as trying to bait her back he's blown it. If (as it sounds) he was simply stating the final score then he's fine.

2 upvotes330d2 years ago

Agreed - turn around, do a closed lip smile, shrug and then put that 3 in.

5 upvotesNewreddawn2 years ago

I agree completely. Brad embarrasses himself by demonstrating how butt hurt he is by saying what he did. He needed to have the last word because that was the only way he could walk away from that situation without feeling like a complete loser. It shows his ego investment into the approach.

As the other guy mentioned, it wasn't her loss at all. It was his loss. And him saying that just made it obvious to anyone paying attention. Move on and avoid any outward signs of bitterness if this happens. Don't prove her point by acting like a whiny beta when she says no.

0 upvoteskeepstay2 years ago

he lost, but atleast he is half-way to the point

2 upvotesRollo_Mayhem32 years ago

Matty is correct, any statement to her after she has rejected him (you) does nothing but lower his value because it is perceived as him 'saving face." When a girl rejects you is such an obvious way, immediately move on and don't give her another thought.

1 upvotesBrotherFrankie2 years ago

this was my thought in my other reply. who cares that happened. does not even deserve a response. no response is always better is my opinion.

1 upvotesCasanova-Quinn2 years ago

I agree "your loss" isn't good, but you don't have to say nothing. If she verbally rejects you, something like "ok no problem, it's cool" is all you need. It shows you've accepted the rejection and your not bitter about it.

-3 upvotesMattyAnon2 years ago

Yeah... if you must say something... "ok, all cool" is good.

3 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

FR: a few months ago I was dumped by my GF . She had be previously saying I was the one to others and myself (hint, she was just trying to reassure herself). But out of the blue she dumps me over some minimal shit.

Enter my death spiral where I develop oneitis, miss her intensely and have failed at many points of my mission since then. I tried my hardest to get her back, no contact for a bit(to manipulate, not because I wanted to), planned some fantastic dates just like what she had always asked for. She eventually tells me she wants nothing to do with me and that we're not meant to be.

My mistake was not having Abundance mentality and not having a concurrent harem.

4 upvotesSero-Flex2 years ago

If he's handsome and takes care of himself how isn't he a Chad?

3 upvotesMusicSports2 years ago

At 28 you need to be doing financially and socially better than most guys. He probably isn't there yet.

8 upvotestableman2 years ago

Ah yes, her "loss", some fucking dirtbag that would fuck her and leave her.

There are red pilled women out there.

2 upvotesnewmeforever2 years ago

I say the same thing to women, haha!

Glad to know I'm doing something right.

2 upvotesLazyMagus2 years ago

Question: How is it the HB9's loss? She will go on to have validation from other sources. She just decided to not waste more time with the gym player.

2 upvotesronsoness2 years ago

it's definitely the ideal mindset. has the courage or confidence to just talk to women. persists even with no initial reaction. even when rejected, gracefully accepts it, with no need to badmouth the woman. also, the ability to just drop a 3 after trying to pick up a chick is great. stephen curry meets casanova.

2 upvotesthatsnotfunnyatall_2 years ago

I want to go to the gym where there's 8's and 9's walking around all the time. Seems statistically impossible.

2 upvotesuwey2 years ago

Ignore your surrounding, people, and words become a special type of superpower.

"And Not a Single Fuck Was Given That Day". Bro deserves a toss while men should strive to acquire/maintain such mentality.

2 upvotesAndgelyo2 years ago

I'm a little younger than brad, about the same height, and I'll cross brad's ankles so hard I'll have him flying out the door....lol JK Brad sounds like a total bro. These are exactly the type of men we need to surround ourselves with. I do this when I'm out with friends on the weekend, but to do this solo is awesome

3 upvotesmenial_optimist2 years ago

Brad should probably take it easy on the cold approaches in the gym. It could jeopardize his membership. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. All it would take is one, maybe two women to put in a complaint about harassment and the gym could give him some trouble. Stupid, yeah, but it's possible.

1 upvotesTheRealBlueBadger2 years ago

People don't complain about good looking people asking them out, especially not the type you'd approach if you're good looking.

1 upvotesmenial_optimist2 years ago

You have no idea who this woman was or what she was capable of. Good looking for not there are people out there who will complain and throw a fit for the most unnecessary of reasons.

2 upvotestacko2762 years ago

I usually go with the old "you win some, you loose some" with a smirk

1 upvotesIm_Hitler2 years ago

Mannn Id love to be that guy but I dont even know where to start with those kind of approaches. I cant see myself ever being able to approach without hesitation like that but I admire people who can. Brad sounds like a champ.

1 upvotesMonsieurAlu2 years ago

This is great, keep going Brad

1 upvotessezamus2 years ago

Rejection is not a big deal. Attraction depends on tons of factors.

Let's take two girls. In kindergarten one of them was bullied by a ginger boy, but the other one was reguraly watching a cartoon with ginger super cool guy. You approach both of them, you are handsome, your game is top notch, you are ginger and guess what happens. I think you know the answer.

We should not take rejection personally. I was being hard rejected and enthusiastically greeted by women. Some are angry because you even dare to approach some are happy as fuck. It is how it is.

1 upvotesV1SoR2 years ago

Sounds cheesy. And what exactly is her loss? A missed opportunity to get pumped and dumped? If she acted that way, she probably already had a schedule for that night.

1 upvoteskasper1382 years ago

Picking up women is exactly like going fishing. Exactly.

1 upvotesag_blank2 years ago

How do you randomly start conversations like that?

I feel like my mentality is many times of having something to lose if rejected, how to overcome it?

2 upvotesSir_Distic2 years ago

Just approach many, many women. You WILL get rejected. A lot. That's ok. Talk to women on the street. Talk to them in the supermarket, the gym, anywhere.

"Hey! I like your hair." or "Hi, that necklace is interesting," or "Hi. That color looks good on you." even "Hey, how's it going?"

As soon as you get rejected say to yourself: "That's ok." Smile and say "ok" or something similar. To show it's no big deal. At first it will sting. You'll feel humiliated, embarrassed, etc. Just keep reminding yourself she's just a woman. A female human. There's nothing special about her no matter what she looks or acts like.

2 upvotesag_blank2 years ago

"Hey! I like your hair." or "Hi, that necklace is interesting," or "Hi. That color looks good on you." even "Hey, how's it going?"

This is all I needed. A starting point to build upon. Not canned lines. Thank you.

1 upvotesLazyA12 years ago

One observation - when going after game out of your smv league, an important logistical detail is to not make it a public thing. No way an SMV9 is going to be seen not rejecting a lesser suitor in front of a crowd. Better chance to isolate first.

1 upvotesLordThunderbolt2 years ago

Did he do it like this: https://youtu.be/NfU5uJIaRBI

1 upvotesHarry_Wangs2 years ago

I think he is "Chad" enough. Chad is a fictional character that doesn't really exist. You don't have to be that "alpha" to be an alpha in most women's eyes. I think TRP thinks of Chad mainly in physical characteristics, i.e., 6ft4 220lbs with 7% bodyfat.

Shorter celebrities like Kayne West, Zac Effron, Tom Cruise are not "Chad" by the typical description, but they still are your real life Chads with women.

3 upvotesMRPFuckMe12 years ago

Tom Cruise? Women? I dunno man.

1 upvotescashmoney_x2 years ago

IMO the ideal response is none at all. "Your loss" is just ego based nonsense.

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 2 years ago

If she really was a 9 and he really is 5'9" and only attractive "because he takes care of himself" it was not her loss at all.

1 upvotesarcluminaire2 years ago

Jesus goddamn christ dude, learn how to use an apostrophe.

1 upvotesDat_Chad2 years ago

to whoms't are you talking good Sir?

-1 upvotesGOATmar2 years ago

it was her loss

not because she lost anything valuable

but because she missed out on the thrill of a hot, fun back and forth flirty sparring match with what could have been smoother, seductive guy.

to put it bluntly, brad failed to approach and establish any sort of virility. so of course she wasn't havin it.

but

to all you keyboard knights talkin shit, brad here still demonstrated more testosterone than any of you, and for him busting a move while you wouldnt have, he will forever continue to have a high chance of scoring more pwussy.

1 upvotesDead-A-Chek2 years ago

brad here still demonstrated more testosterone than any of you

Testosterone levels as a measure of worth lol, is that really what they teach you here?

-5 upvotesGOATmar2 years ago

Virility is your Male net worth in the sexual market place. Testosterone is merely a component of it.

Do try to keep up.





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