This is a long one and semi field report. After I made my post about my addiction, I saw we have a lot more addicts/recovering addicts in this sub than I realized. it has become an epidemic and hope you all get the help you need because it really is an awful thing.

After posting that I had a couple people say that it seemed that their SO wanted them more,and was better to them while they were on drugs. And once they got off, shit changed for the worst. In my experience this happened to me also. My SO said all she wanted was me off drugs. But while I was on them I got sex every day. She was hornier. She would tend to all my needs, she would literally go above and beyond for me.

As soon as I stopped everything changed. The shit test were flying. Sex was less frequent. Her attitude changed. She was more naggy. Told me she was bored. And pretty much became distant.

This made zero sense to me as it did for most of you who spoke to me about it. But the more I thought about it. The more I realized why. This is mostly for guys in recovery who are with the woman they were during addiction. Even if you don't use drugs you can get something from this on why women act the way they do in relationship. I'm going to refer to my person experience in these example.

Disclaimer: Any woman who stays with an addict is usually either codependent or has her own issues. Be careful when staying with a woman like this. Every girl I dated during my addiction never used drug either so I can't relate to those types of women.

Also it wasn't that my SO wanted me to keep getting high. I believe she truly didn't and wanted me clean. But she couldn't help how my behavior made her feel while using vs. off.

1. No more emotions

While I was using I provided her with a huge roller coaster of emotions. When I was high I was happy, energetic this excited her. when I wasn't high, I was distant and didn't want to be bothered, this made her miss me. When I wasn't around she would worry.

When I was withdrawing, she wanted to tend to me, she felt sorry for me. When I would come home and she would see me high again, she would Be angry or upset. When I would come home sober she would be relieved

This roller coaster of emotions set her off in all the right ways. She never knew what she was going to get. She hated what I was doing but loved what it did to her.

Fast forward to when I got clean. I was boring. I didn't know my place in life. Because All I knew prior was drugs. I got into a routine of work, sleep, lift. This didn't excite her. She was bored. No more worrying. No more unpredictability. Just average joe.

2. She wanted a man she can "fix"

Every girl I dated during my addiction wanted to "help". I would come clean to them. And not only would they not leave, they wanted to stay with me more. Aka they wanted to fix me. They saw me as a project they could work on. They wanted to be the hero of their own fantasy. They wanted to be the one who could tame this beast.

When I got clean there was no more project. No more challenge. Nothing left for them to look forward to.

During my active addiction their motherly/nurturing instincts came out like it was her calling. But the reason they didn't get turned off or see me as beta during this time was because of my next point.

3. My attitude

I touch on this a lot in my first post ("what being a drug addict has taught me"). So I will just go into this briefly. But during my active addiction the drug was my purpose. It came before her. I didn't give a fuck about her, only what she could provide for me to get the drug or sex. I had no problem with her leaving because I cared more about getting high than anything else. This is exact "asshole" type behavior that attracts women. Drugs do a hell of a good job at suppressing your emotions too. It created he perfect "bad boy" attitude. Along with the sigma of "rebel" (if you will) that comes with being an addict.

When I got sober it all changed. I was not only back to "normal" but I became needy, lost, guilty, emotional, unmotivated etc.

but then there's a turning point

At first most addicts are functional. They have a job, car, place to live m, etc. But if any of you have been here you realize it doesn't last very long. You get in too deep and you start to lose everything. Your money, your job, your health, your mind. When this happens if you don't get the help you need it's all down hill from here. You become needy, you become unhealthy, you become desperate. You become an evil piece of shit who will do, steal, lie about anything to get your next fix. You can no longer function and not only do you lose your girl. Your friends and family. You lose yourself. It's time to stop being in denial and time to man up. Face the heat of your actions and get help you need.

So what's the lesson here?

Its not to keep doing drugs to keep/get women. It's to show you why you may be experiencing this and why women are reacting to you in a "better" way.

I'm here to tell you. You don't need drugs to get women. People don't like you better on drugs. And it isn't making your life easier. It's just making you feel comfortable in your shit life.

I know a post isn't going to keep you clean only you can do that. But You have the ability to turn that around and live the life you want sober, and get everything you want out of it. It's hard as fuck and hand work but it's so worth it. If it's a relationship you want. Once you get clean and get your mind right. Portray these behaviors sober and you will remain attractive.

Addiction is a BITCH but one thing I learned from being clean for a year now is that everything I ever thought I needed the drug for was a lie. I'm sober, happier than ever and living the life I want. a life of confidence and it's not chemically induced. If I can do it so can you. But you need to get your head out of your ass and stop thinking you can do it on your own.

This post was mostly to get an understand of what is happening when this occurs. And also to maybe push the guys still using to get the help they need. It's out there. It's up to you to get it. But clean for yourself, not for anyone else.

TL;DR being a drug addict creates a rollercoaster of emotions in women. You behavior becomes that of a bad boy asshole which makes you more attractive. When guy get clean they become lazy and boring and their women leave. The key is to get off the drugs but keep the exciting roller coasters of emotions flowing by living an exciting life in recovery.