I remember around 2012 I had just got dumped and cheated on by my girlfriend while we were on vacation together and wound up in a relationship with some local alpha bro who was a much better catch than me. I was angry, sad, feeling hopeless and full of self-hatred. I had nothing other than a minimum wage job. My mother a narcissistic alcoholic who I lived with and took advantage of my good nature, and a father who would treat me like an emotional punching bag and also take advantage of my good nature. My friends were all losers too who didn't respect me and the ones that weren't losers distanced themselves from me. I was depressed hardcore, and borderline feeling quite suicidal. It seemed like no one respected or cared for me. Every girl I ever gained the interest of quickly left me. I started to finally realize why all those psychos who go postal.. The unbearable weight of social isolation. Then I found TRP.
In my time since then, I have grown so much as a person. I went through the anger phase where I read a bunch of garbage about going MGTOW, the struggles of incel-dom, and blame women for not wanting to date my pathetic ass.. For a while I even enjoyed the isolation and found comfort in posting and reading misogynistic rants.. But then I got a gym membership and learned to lift and the practice/therapy of lifting helped ease the pain of my depression, lose my beer gut and get some muscle tone-age (note: lifting didn't make my depression magically go away.. It merely takes your mind off it and overtime will condition you to simply just focus on the now rather than dwelling on every misfortune in your life.. The hours I spent at the gym were just hours of mental clarity and focus on the present) and also reinforce the mindset of "I am not a victim." I re-enrolled in college, and got my Associate's degree while working full time in a restaurant so I could pay by the month for my classes on no debt and transferred to a prestigious school I never thought would accept me with a generous scholarship and additional grants. I started to get a better taste in fashion and dress better despite my peers making dumb "that shirts gay" comments because it's not a black tee shirt with a death metal band logo on it. I started pushing my limits with exercising and ran a mile just shy of 6:30 as a personal record; while not olympian standard-I never thought in my life I would be able to do this. I always saw myself as a "victim of circumstance". I started to get more confident with physicality.. This summer I climbed the highest mountain I had ever climbed-6,300 feet. I recently got back into skateboarding-a childhood/teenage hobby of mine and learning through youtube videos and I've progressed at it more in a few months approaching it via a red pill mindset than all my years skating around as a chubby depressed teenager.. I'm also more ballsy with doing tricks and less of a bitch about getting hurt. I've been pushing myself in my artistic pursuits for the past 5 years or so (what I study in college) and have reached heights in my creative ability/career I never thought would exist for a person like me. I recently decided to go vegan because I don't like the politics of the meat industry, animal torture, and using animals' reproductive systems in manufacturing products. I've been getting SO MUCH better at cooking, living a healthier lifestyle consuming a plant based diet and it's opened up a new dating market for me- hipster vegan chicks.
I became my "confident self". I finally learned what it feels like to be happy with ones' self and content in ones' skin. Other peoples' opinions of me and what I do with my life don't matter cause most of them are crab ass haters anyway. This weird epiphany happened to me the other night as I was skating and bombing down a hill trying to get more comfortable on my board. It was a moment of pure joy. Something money can't buy, something a wicked ex-wife/ex-partner can't take from you in a divorce. I think it might be what the buddhists call "nirvana". I just felt suspended in this ongoing wave of existence.. Simply acknowledging the nature of the essence and riding it out in peaceful harmony and balance. Realizing that no matter what happens to me riches, poverty, divorce, happily-ever-after.. I will survive and prosper as the man I want to be and be able to smile in any circumstance. I felt tears as I rode down the hill. I felt like I've found that feeling or esoteric understanding I've been seeking all my life.. Whatever it is.
As a result, I've noticed a HUGE spike in female attraction/attention in the last few years. Most of the chicks I've gamed are somewhere in the 5-7 range which is okay for me I don't need a super model looking girlfriend.. I'm happy with a cute face, big butt, feminine grace/demeanor, and cooking skills. I've had plenty of flings, short term girlfriends, one night stands etc.. So much to the point where I don't really seek those relationships out anymore and just let them happen when I'm horny or just naturally let a relationship flourish toward commitment with a girl I enjoy hanging out and having sex with rather than labeling things and feeling disappointed when I mislabel them or things don't pan out to my expectations (a no reservation approach I guess?). I stopped thinking about "alpha vs. beta" or thinking about how I'm 5'8" and my handsome friend who is 6'2" could easily steal that chick from me and similar insecurities that lurk in the depths of our minds. I simply just began living in the moment and doing things I enjoy that in turn-are attractive to women. Instead of sugar coating everything or pretending something doesn't bother me, I state my mind clearly and honestly to women without feeling the need to insult or reprimand them like my ego would suggest before.
I am the person I wish to be. I like myself. I think I'm a catch compared to most guys and if a woman doesn't like me for who I am? That's fine, there's probably some guy she's more compatible with for her and a woman who's more compatible for me. Some chicks want to go in their boyfriend's giant pickup truck to country fest and some want to see some noise band play in the basement of some hipster pad clouded in weed smoke.
Let the pieces fall where they may and blaze your own trail up Mt. Alpha. The view into my lifestyle might not resonate with a lot of red pillers here.. And that's fine because we're all unique little snowflake millenials who have different interests, pursuits, passions, from different cultural and national backgrounds. I skateboard, am an avid lover of music and art, an artist, musician, and am passionate about veganism. Most of you would probably call me a faggot and that's fine because for every feminist banging tofu eating art fag riding his skateboard through campus there's a bud light chugging chad thundercock frat bro who has slooty stacy (beta bob's GF) roped to the bedpost begging for permission to cum.
You might be a frat bro, a skater dude, a sheltered indian kid, an oboe player in a jazz quintet.. Whatever, just own it! Fear and insecurities-constantly asking "what should I say?" "how should I act?!" is totally dodging the point of learning from experience in the field.. These are the type of questions where sensei whacks you on the noggin with his bamboo cane and tells you to go meditate for 3 more hours and come back. Insecurity is a useless emotions that stem from one having no personal convictions in life (e.g.. instead of fearing your girlfriend is cheating on you, your mindset should be "I don't commit to women or stay with women I can't trust"). You need to get metaphorically kicked in the balls and dumped in the mud by your ex girlfriend, delete that number and go NC. You need to lose in order to learn how to win. To focus on things step by step and take joy in every slight improvement. What you and I have gone through is what every man goes through in life-rich or poor, pain and suffering is good for you. It makes you tough, smart, and resilient. It causes you to think and stand for things or deal with the unfortunate circumstances of being a spineless coward and getting cuck'd one way or another or even worse, not ever reaching your true potential in life or spending your days in this mortal life doing what you were meant to do.
Then women just naturally float in and out of your romantic life depending on how social you are.. No matter if you're a broke ass loser living in your car or a wall street executive.
PS: I've been thinking about making this post for a while and wanted to get it out there before the oncoming tidal wave of fall semester coursework. To all the incoming college freshman, welcome to the beginning of your adult life! To all returning for the fall semester.. Give it hell! Good luck folks.