Hey guys. I decided to write a post as I've never really contributed but I've taken a whole lot from here.
I ended a 3 year LTR as I wanted to be single, that's it really. It wasn't horrible. She wasn't evil. I just wanted to have sex with a whole bunch of different girls. Turns out using the basics from here, it's real easy.
Me. Late 20s
I live in a big city.
Own my apartment I live in alone.
Professional job
Muay Thai for about 10 years
Not a lifter but the kickboxing keeps me in decent enough shape. Not a big dude at all. Think "fighting thin" 6"1 and about 175lbs.
On a normal day I'm a 6.5 at my best I'm a 7.
I am writing this as a bullet point list really. I've found dating to be utterly hassle free which has come as a shock to me so I figured I would just pop down some stuff that I've found and hopefully it benefits people. Most of it is obvious / simple.
Essentially this is a list of practical things with no order or theme. Please add yours in the comments. I don't mention the actual meeting of girls much as to be honest I don't know how I do it really. No set way. Tinder. Parties. Bars (my least successful place for meeting). I don't go to clubs. Friends of friends. Language classes. Just out in the world really.
When arranging dates I always pick a bar near my house and I tell the girls this to make it clear why we are meeting. "Let's meet at bar X because it's right next to my apartment." Note the use of BECAUSE. This works well. I go home with a lot of first dates. A couple of them have told me they noticed it and liked the confidence / the leading.
Give yourself a chance. Be as attractive as you can be. Trimmed nails. Regular haircuts. Styled facial hair. New clothes. The clothes don't have to be expensive. I bought a 10 pack of cheap plain t shirts. They fit right and look new. That's all that matters. Throw out stuff that you know is dead and should be thrown out.
Smell good and have good breath.
Don't drink too much. I usually only have two drinks on a date. It also leads to a good line of, "I'm not looking to drink anymore but I am keen to keep hanging out if you want to come to my place." People say a girl needs an excuse to come back I. E. Come see my antique Xylophone that I told you about . But I've found just saying this works more often than it doesn't.
Condoms. Wear them. It doesn't get mentioned much here but after a touch of chlamydia I thought I would reiterate it. Girl who gave it to me was an upper middle class architect. So, you know, it can be anyone.
Have wine in the fridge all the time. Can be cheap shit. Go buy 10 bottles of piss and keep it handy. It's a good excuse to hangout in the apartment. Not for first dates but for second onward. Skip the bar and have her round for wine, if you are late 20s or older and fucking younger girls they like this. A girl under 25 being invited round for a glass of wine makes her feel like a sophisticated grown up. A 21 year old told me this.
Create the picture of a life she wants to be part of. So, girls don't do shit. Generally speaking they have no hobbies beyond texting. They are looking for a guy to show them stuff and take them places or just have things going on. I have a lot of friends. They are cool interesting people. I talk about them on dates. "Ah that reminds me of something my mate Matt was telling me. This is a fairly disgusting end to a Tinder date story. You in?" Tell your friends stories. Be someone who seems to hangout with all these awesome and hilarious people. I've travelled the world a fair bit and I find the stories about my friends have more of an impact than any story of trekking through the Vietnamese jungle etc.
Shit tests. I'll agree and amplify if the vibe is right and we are fucking with each other. If we don't have that vibe (yet) and it comes over as her just being mean or being a bitch. I ignore it completely. Act like she didn't even talk. It works better than anything I've tried. A girl had a party at her place. I'd met her that day from tinder and she invited me to the party. At some point she says to me, "You are maybe half as funny as you think you are." I saw a girl heading out the door and said, "are you going to the store? I'll come too, need some more beers." Then just walked off. So this party hosting girl was some big feminist and would give me shit tests all night, constant nonsense and social justice crap. I ignored each and every one of them. Just started a new conversation with someone else. She wasn't getting the argument she obviously craved. Whenever she was nice, she got attention. She figured it out and stopped being a dick. Depriving her of attention was the worst thing that could happen to her it seemed. She was hot and a lot of her friends seemed like male feminists I. E. Skinny and desperate to please her. We had sex when the party ended.
It's an old one here but it is so so true. Text for logistics only. Do. Not. Validate. Her. By. Text. She should have to work for those feelings of attention. Don't let her get her dopamine hit lying on the couch texting you and 6 other dudes. Once I have fucked a girl a few times then I don't mind some bullshit by text. Memes. Links to stuff we have talked about etc. To be perfectly honest if you are doing all this stuff right and sleeping with 3 or 4 different girls on top of having a productive life..... You really won't have time to go back and forward on text.
When it comes to the number scale and girls I've found some stuff. Ask out YOUR 10s. So, I had a weird thing for a while. I had no problem asking out a 7. But when I saw a 9/10 I would be intimidated. My 10s are real thin Balkan / Russian looking girls. That's what I am about. Tiny frames. Small tits. So I'd ask out anyone that wasn't them basically as I "wasn't ready for that." Turns out.... They aren't everyone's 10. There was this one chick I thought was incredible. My friend likes gym girls. Thiiiiickkkkkk ones. The girl I liked? He thought she was below average. Right...... I should just ask then because if she is a 6 to him and I'm not scared of 6s let's do it. Sometimes YOUR 10s say yes. Ask em.
I have taken loads from here but the one thing I want to give back is that none of it matters. It's just not that big a deal. On this run I've had sex with the hottest women I've ever been with. No 10s. But a a solid run of 7-9. Some stupid good runs as well. 5 in 5 days and things. Know what I felt? At first, excited. Then....... Tired. Then bored of talking to girls. The sex was fine. Good even. Sometimes excellent. But largely inconsequential. I know I can do it now so I actually do it less. I passed up fucking some girl the other night so that I could play PUBG after training. I took a great feeling of pride in doing what I wanted like that. Previously I'd never pass up a chance to go meet a girl. And of course the ridiculous thing is now that I'm willing to pass it up..... They want to fuck more. I'm happy to feel that. I hope if you aren't there that you will feel it one day. I'm actually open to another LTR now. I've met a girl who seems cool and I like being around. If it works great. If not then I know I can go back to living like this. Either is fine. Both have a lot fun moments. That confidence likely makes it way more likely to work I think. Who knows. We're all dying anyway.
Many blessings to you all. I wouldn't dare attempt to field questions. I'm just some idiot who has got ok at getting laid when desired. Hopefully we can chat a bit though and maybe see what other bullet points people add.
Some really great advice here. Doesn't come off as a humble brag or sneer but as genuinely helpful.
Thanks.
Thanks man, yeah I did worry it could be a bit braggy but to be honest most of it is stuff from this very community.
No problems. Stuff like this is why I come here...
Would like to see the mainstream media picking up on TRP. I notice they constantly reference other things on Reddit; would love to see them reference some TRP posts but I doubt it will ever happen because they'd be too scared....a lot of our media is definitely being run as if a woman's viewpoint is the only true viewpoint. Some men in media (journalists, writers, presenters etc) actually come off as not male but male apologists...
Agreed. I will say though, I like women. I like them a lot. Girls are great. I don't subscribe to the whole thing of never have an LTR etc. Some of the best times in my life have been spent in love with someone who loved me too.
But, no relationship and no girl is way better than the wrong one or a toxic one. Playstation is better than a shitty relationship.
The right one is great though.
Yeah....that's the thing. I think that comes through in your post. I like them too, in fact I'm married and have a daughter and a son.
It's TRP, but it's fair trp, not a bitter rant. That's what makes it helpful.
Yeah this comes through in your writing. I agree. From my own experience, life is a lot better if you allow yourself to feel for people without fearing the outcome. It's the same concept of when you're racing, don't look at the walls you don't want to crash into. Keep your eyes on the prize. In dating, that's your own happiness, which is often enhanced more from one love than dozens of lays.
The racing thing is a nice way of putting it.
I think this place had helped me with not fearing the outcome as people are going to do whatever they are going to do anyway. I won't worry about it and I'll be fine either way.
I just commented on another thread about outcome independence. I think it's a huge part of why so many guys get worked up over a girl not responding or them not being able to get the kind of response they want from a particular girl.
I'm curious do you think it was worth it ending your LTR to go on smashing sprees?
I do. But maybe not for reasons that I even anticipated or could ever have expected.
I've received a lot of messages from people in relationships. A lot! Too many. It's... Eh Yeah, mental!
So I figure I'll write a post on my experience of realising I wanted to end an LTR, ending it, the aftermath and how I feel now after the fact.
It won't be advice. I'm not qualified to do that. It will be, "here is some stuff that happened. Maybe it's relevant maybe it tells you what to not do."
It will also be soon, if time allows it.
For fuck's sake, why? They ruin everything they touch. It's like the reverse Midas touch. And the end result is more competition. The Red Pill is far better when it's relatively underground.
Because I think some of the info on here would be good for all guys to see - and women too sometimes.
I agree. I think some amount of organic, grassroots spread of RP principles would be good for American society, but the "MSM" tends to really twist and distort any presentation of controversial ideas.
I also think some awareness of the Red Pill is a real advantage for average men, partly because there are a fair amount of "Chads" out there who at least partly buy into contemporary feminism. When RP becomes fully mainstream, those guys will lose their advantage. Maybe that's better for society as a whole, though. Who knows?
Nah. It just doesn't work that way. The masses can't think for themselves which is why they rely on institutions, media, "friends" and peers to mold their thoughts. The majority of us found our way here because there was something we wanted to change to improve on.
I feel like this page has already grown. Although, I haven't posted anything (yet) these types of domains for men should be reserved for those who really want to improve themselves thus having to find it rather than it given away, openly, for everyone.
EDIT: Also this sub is politically incorrect they ain't trying to hear this TRUTH anyway!
If everyone practiced TRP, there would no TRP. This is about exploiting society's vulnerabilities, not fixing them.
Maybe with this knowledge being spread we could recover some sanity in the western world and improve the lot for all of us (including betas). Things are getting ridiculous and we've let this social justice thing ruin society for far to long. Maybe a return to basic understanding of gender dynamics would benefit us all in the long run....nevertheless it doesn't appear to be going that way so of course, enjoy the decline if that's our only option .
This'll never go mainstream because of associations that have already been made between us and other groups of people with horrible stigmas in our feminized sjw society. That's fine with me; it means there's fewer real men against whom to compete.
That's a good point. A lot of the girls I meet tell me about their guy "friends" who are in love with them. I like this community the size it is. I don't want all guys knowing this shit as then I'll have to adapt and do something different to stand out.
Adapting and improving yourself is a good thing, but you should do it for the right reasons, e.g., making yourself better for your own sake rather than just to stand out to attract women. But, that is a part of it.
Here's a better explanation of my oversimplification: the men who don't accept the truths of biology and sociological gender dynamics inherent in TRP will never accept them just by being told. They have to come to some type of realization of the world on their own, through personal experience and failures. Until they do, their behavior only makes it that much easier for men like us to outshine them.
But I should say I want it to be as good as it possibly can be for the ones that are here. It's helped me immeasurably.
It's a damn shame. Because there's some genuine good points on here. Some of this stuff is good not just for men but women too.
It's not surprising how TRP isn't mainstream although. Finding good, quality posts that accurately portray our sets of values is few and far between the ones that don't. Its basically wading through shit to find diamonds.
There are too many men in the anger phase writing posts that seem bitter and spiteful. If I saw this subreddit without caring too much about its principles, this community might have come across as such.
It's posts like these that make me glad I stuck around.
Me too. Yeah I see that as well.. I think some of them have been watching too many "tough love" videos. A lot of the guys on here are here because they aren't succeeding with women and have been scorned by them. Last thing they need is to be scorned by fellow men too...
We need far more posts like this one.
Thanks man, that's a nice thing to read.
i second this.
i think this is one of the most underrated under-talked about things.
Most girls, probably 90%, are 5's when averaged out. 5% are the hideous ones and the other are the obviously insanely hot ones, and even for them there are still millions in the world who may say the ugly one is hot or the hot one is ugly.
I have this theory that, you can usually get the girls YOU find attractive. It's just that YOU get nervous because you think she is the 10 model girl that everyone thinks is sooooo hot.
Just go for it, ask them out.
though, i'm curious about how girls react to the word "keen". you said late 20's not 70's right?
Hahah that might be a regional thing. That's a pretty common way to talk here.
Group Chat.
"Out for a few beers later. Who is keen?"
"Keen for sparring at 2pm?"
Where I am, Australia, 'keen' is very common amongst young women. They're who I picked it up from and also pretty much the only people I use it with.
Possibly the best FR posted in months.
Thank you. Appreciate the kind words.
A lot of the posts tend to strike me as "treat people like shit and they'll like you" But this one seems to make some solid points. Thanks for a good post that isn't effectively just "be a douche"
Yeah, I think the be an asshole thing comes from if you can pull off the playful asshole with teasing and shit.
Being straight up unpleasant isn't the way I want to live.
It does come off as very useful advice to those that couldn't ever do that, but I after I think the terms 'honest expression, wittiness' explains it bettter
// , Being a douche is actually rather easy for me.
It's being an attractive douche that I must work on.
Any insight into how you went about your initial meeting of then. Also interested in how you built attraction even tho you view yourself as a 6/7
No insight as such man. But I can tell you about the last good one I met and maybe you can take something from that.
Girl from an eastern European country. I was drunk off my face. Rarely am I drunk and out in bars but this night I was. I was high energy drunk and saw her walk past me. She was exactly my type so I said........ "Well you look foreign as shit, what are you?"
I am not suggesting this as a line or course of action to take! But we ended up talking from that and by chance I know a fair bit about where she is from. We were pretty much instantly attracted to each other and each others interests etc.
Since then I've asked her what attracted her to me as it's good to know for future. She said;
Confidence The passion I spoke with about certain topics (in this case history or the place she was from. She isn't even into that sort of stuff but she liked how much I wanted to tell her about it.) She said I seemed smart and she wanted to know more.
I can get those girls out day, but my thing is semi thick girls(think Alexis Texas) and I can never get them. Maybe its a confidence thing but since I appear somewhat skinny (although face wise I'm probably an 8) they don't seem to go for me no matter what I try with a few exceptions.
Yep. I've spent most of my life the opposite.
Long hair. A waist I can get my hands around and sharp features. I'll get scared. She would never want me!
Big ass in leggings on the way home from her workout I can talk to her no problem. I'll talk to her as I don't even fancy her really so it's OK.
I think it comes from the shame we are all made to feel for sexual attraction. I can't articulate it but I think I know what I mean. Someone else maybe can.
Shame for sexual attraction. There's a mind fuck.
Something to meditate on.
Or maybe they can sense you really like their look and it comes over somehow.
I don't know. Something in it because you are able to pull girls other guys want to but can't.
I think this is true. All my life I've had women I don't want in the palm of my hand. It has to be because I don't validate them or show interest, although in some cases probably combined with me being more attractive physically than them (ie women date upwards).
On a sidenote, I'd say social proof is probably t h e best tool to get any woman you want. I was in a setting last night where I had social proof from other women (and guys), and this HB9 eyefucked me, which pretty much has not happened ever. I normally dont have social proof like this, the situation was special.
Social circle game in general is hard to build though.
The semi thick girls are the true 9's. OP admits that his "dime" is a bit acquired. I say this because it is very prevalent on social media. The finest girls with the biggest followings are almost always slim thick, think thick and fit IG model girl.
Also most high status athletes and musicians cuff these ones up. Slim thick girls are equivalent to a lean very muscled man. Just a female version of that.
Skinny cute girls are equivalent to skinny good looking men -- those of which who do pull yes.. but can be physically outshined by a muscled lean man with equivalent facial genetics.
Basically, lift lift lift. If you want the thicker girls. You need to raise your SMV because they have an increased SMV. You pull the skinny ones easier because they are lower SMV than the thicker ones.
Do you consider yourself an extrovert?
Eh yeah but in a fairly average way. I am outgoing but I am not a caricature of confidence and energy.
Going for 10s is super important and doesn't get said enough. It's not just because they might be a 6 to someone else. Part of being exceptional is setting high goals.
Everyone can play life safe and bang a couple of 7s that are barely 5s in the morning that they feel superior to. Not everyone can go out there, challenge themselves and take what they really want from life.
Always aim to play the game at the highest level you can compete at.
Solid Gold here, well said my TRP Endorsed Brother haha
It's like TRP has gone back a couple of years and this is one of those quality posts of those days.
Great points op. I have nothing to add, i'm glad someone talked about condoms though, STDs are on the rise because of the hook up culture, protect yourself guys.
Thanks man, appreciate the comment.
I vastly prefer this style to the walls of text we sometimes get. Sharp, simple, top the point. Bravo.
Aint that the truth. Man, sometimes I wish I could fixate on getting money the same way I fixated on fucking women. I've put a monumental amount of time and effort into fucking women. If I put even half that much into getting rich, Im sure I'd be on my way.
In other words, I want to be horny for cash.
Haha! Yep, had that thought many times!
Ironically, if you were passionate about that... Women would be horny for you
Dope post man.
I've done a lot of similar things to your bullet point list and it works for me too. I especially like your take on shit tests. It's pretty obvious when girls are just fucking around/pushing your buttons in a friendly way, but it's good to know when she's just being a human turd and not give in to that bullshit but at the same time don't stoop to her level. Just don't play that game, ignore her, and go talk to other people. I personally wouldn't go for the lay though because I'd just be turned off by her at that point. Would rather go home with a girl two notches lower in looks or by myself than deal with a rapid shit tester.
I also like the idea of having wine in the fridge and being a hospitable host. I think it's also good idea to get really good at cooking. It's beneficial all around, for your stomach/appetite, bank account, and friends/romantic interests. Everyone likes a good cook.
I'm in my late 20s too, but a college student in my last year. Def looking forward to having my own place when I'm more established in my career.
Yeah, cooking is an excellent addition. Cook something simple but slightly out the ordinary. I cook a fish dish I learned in Thailand. Easiest thing in the world to do but is different and adds to the fantasy she builds in her head.
Get your own place man. I often wonder, "have I actually got better at all this or do I just have my own place now." Total game changed.
Someday. Gotta make that money first lol.. Been wasting most of my teenage years and early 20's as a service industry serf and finally got the bright idea to get an education. It's only a matter of time now.
Are you in your hometown? Or how did you get so many friends?
Studied here. Work here. Train here. So yeah pretty much everything I do is here. I travel a lot as well. 6+ times a year so meet loads of people that way as well.
Yeah, that's how it felt in my hometown. I had girls that would want to hang around me just for the SMV boost. I kept getting told things would be better in a bigger city. Every time I move, I feel like I have to start all over.
Ayy man why do skinny guys get shit on here lol
Oh I get shit for being skinny everywhere! My friends are big fucking dudes. I catch shit for being little all the time.
Its good though, I stopped caring. I just don't enjoy weights and smashing calories so I just decided to not bother.
If a girl likes a massive dude who deadlifts a house, she won't like me. That's OK.
Slim people look much much better in clothes as well, easier to get around, etc
Because it means they aren't lifting.
It's possible to be skinny and athletic 😂 lean
Lifting won't make you big in itself. Eating a ton will.
Finally a quality post. And this is why I sub; sound advice throughout without overanalyzing simple concepts or implications of bitterness from not being able to handle the red pill.
Thanks man, I appreciate the review.
My worst bug ridden pussy in last 2 years? Med student.
It fucked me up to be totally honest. The actual chlamydia, take 4 pills and forget about it. No symptoms. Something I didn't know I had is now gone.
But it led to me developing a bit health anxiety. It made me realise I can get stuff. Like it is possible for me to be sick. I started having ridiculous irrational thoughts about HIV. I'm a straight white male, western world, non drug user, having sex with the middle classes..... I mean I'll be fine. But all that logic was out the window for a little while.
Scary. Avoid living through it if possible and if you do get something, keep it in perspective.
10 is a solid point. All good points but #10 is really eye opening and true.
Yeah man, it's one of the best realisations I've ever had. Asking out the type of girls I like and finding out sometimes they say yes was huge. Or more, learning yes was an option.
Something I've noticed as well. Girls that I consider to be a 10, a lot of my friends don't find them to be a true 10 but more like a 7. And vice verse, girls they consider to be a 10 I would consider to be a 5-6.
Girls are like music, listen to what you want.
This is possibly one of the sub's best posts in years. Very helpful, chock full of good advice, both situational and in terms of paradigms. I may need to adjust a few details to suit my locale, but otherwise solid post.
Edit: one quick bullet point: American girls are about 3 times as entitled as girls elsewhere. Ignore their bullshit even harder.
Thanks a lot man. I hear that a lot about American girls. I've only been to the US once and I found it the easiest place to have sex with strangers. Like I found them all quite outgoing. One of the few places I've been where girls do the approaching and it's obvious they are looking to fuck. I'm from quite a reserved place though so the contrast was noticeable. I was also visiting and on holiday so I accept that's not a good indicator of day to day life.
Also, if you have an accent they flock to you.
I don't want to be sarcastic, but if some guy told you how he did every one of these things, and got mediocre results, you would not be so happy about that post, despite it containing the same helpful tips. What if some guy wrote a post how he attracts girls through honesty and somehow combines horniness with romantic, beta attitude and gets laid a ton?
Fair point. Individual experience may vary.
Congrats dude, you've basically figured it out.
Soon enough, maybe even already, you won't need to think about TRP in terms of sexual strategy because you won't need it anymore. Now you can focus on your own personal goals and life mission
That is the idea. I maybe could even think about eating more and doing this lifting I hear so much about.
'No hobbies beyond texting' This is true for so many of them.
Don't get me wrong sometimes I like nothing more than going to a coffee shop, getting on that sweet sweet WiFi and just texting up a fuckin storm.
I class hanging about as a hobby of mine.
We can't be superhuman production machines all the time and that's cool.
Right now. Sitting with an espresso on that public WiFi typing shit here on my phone and having a lovely time.
Good one!
When you are living in a forgein country and dont have a big social group atm what steps are best to get branches and improve contacts?
At party im still not perceiving properly the hints and game, im on good shape, attractive. Girls look at me but somehow im shy and not very good at speaking. Any advice?
Martial arts. Take up Muay Thai or BJJ. Ignore all the social weirdos that martial arts attracts and just start trying to train an hang out with the gyms main guys. You'll quickly have a friend group of manly guys who will know women etc. That's always my go to when I'm somewhere new.
Judo is my safe space where I get a grip.
Seriously, sensei is a cop. It's a bastion of masculinity. It is so good for the psyche to scrap.
Excellent comment and post. Kudos.
Yeah judo is always full of tough dudes. Judo and wrestling. Two of the toughest sports you can do. You are bound to end up hanging out with animals at either of those activities.
Yep. I'll transition to BJJ eventually, but the dojo I go to has an excellent floating floor, stable enough to drive on but still dissipates force from throws.
One sensei is a good old Southern boy, so he can say this without it being homoerotic: "I just love holding a grown man down against his will!"
I don't know about your experience, but in mine women really, really like it. I don't need bondage props. I can easily hold most women down.....never against their will, of course.
Ah they love it. It's a good way to have a roll around and get physical with a girl at a party as well. I've lost count of the number of girls I've wrestled with in kitchens.
Thanks man, im on the gym but yeah i see that the interaction is way less and shitty that in contact sports.
Definitely agree with everyone else. You don't come across as a douchebag, who thinks redpilled means being a fucking asshole to every girl you meet. The tone seemed casual, like my friend was telling me this. Hope to hear more from you dude :)
Thanks man. Unfortunately I think I gave too much on my first post.
I've nothing left to say!
I suppose field reports of dates would be cool as I've enjoyed writing this and going back and forward in the comments with everyone.
You can also write how you maintained frame in your LTR
Yeah I wish I could but truth be told I didn't always.
I think I'll be better in the next one. Maybe if I do that I'll try and document it a bit.
Having said that a big part of it is carefully only entering relationships with girls who don't test me too much and whom everything feels easy with.
I've had failed relationships. I've never had a BAD one. I've seen good friends live through awful relationships and knew I would never do it.
Those 'asshole' types take the fact that 'bad guys' tend to get chicks and fail miserably at emulating that. Or they don't truly accept the red pill and become bitter.
The OP shows us what it's like to nonchalantly accept the red pill. No unnecessary effort invested.
While this is a good post, it doesn't have much to do with the red pill. It's general advice, nobody is going to get redpilled reading this.
To correctly and nonchalantly implement these points, it requires taking the red pill. Or do you think a blue pilled could pull this off with such a level of nonchalance? The nonchalance factor is key.
Good stuff. Your point about “your 10’s aren’t other people’s 10’s” is something that has crossed my mind before. Definitely agree w you
10 is very solid. Your ideal girl is not everyone's ideal girl & thus isn't as unreachable as you believe she it.
Yeah it removes the fear of approaching a lot!
Have wine, but don't put it in the fridge. Buy a small wine rack, put some bottles of dry red wine in and let them feel sophisticated. White wine is what girls have at home. The cheapest bottle that isn't store brand will do (or a wine from a country you want to start a conversation about). Don't buy any weird wines. Wine glasses look ten times better than regular glasses. Remember, even wine experts can't tell the price of a wine.
STDs aside, you're a guy girls wouldn't mind getting pregnant from. Treat it as playing roulette with your life savings. Or straight Russian roulette.
Good points on the wine. Terrifying point on pregnancy!
Thanks man.
Girls don't have any hobbies besides texting.
It's almost like they aren't people.
Yeah that was just a silly turn of phrase to illustrate a point.
Many great points made in this post. I just wish there were more posts made by shorter guys such as myself around 5'5". Majority of the success stories I read on trp are from guys that are 6'0+ and from personal experience, friends who are that tall put in minimal effort and pull the hotter chicks with ease.
However, I think your points are really solid and I strongly agree that you should be chasing YOUR 10, I've always had that debate with friends about who are 10's and everyone's standards are wildly different from one another.
So I've got a friend who is about 5'5. He does more work than me. By attrition. He just plays it as a number game and makes jokes about his height.
"Some girls say they don't like short guys. Must be tough for them. I'm 6 foot 2."
What?
"You heard me. I'm 6'2"
It makes me laugh every time I hear him telling a girl he is 6'2 with a straight face. Again though, I couldn't possibly offer any advice on it as I just don't know. I've seen him do that though and at the very least it always gets a laugh. He also describes himself as, "pound for pound I'm the tallest guy I know."
I like that spin on it, makes for easy jokes to break the ice. One of the most effective ways to push through bitch shields are with humor. Reminds me of how Kevin hart uses his height for many of his jokes.
This is one of the best posts I've ever seen on here. Damn. Very potent point that took me much longer to discover than it should have:
Much like you, I would be pulling other guys ideal girls constantly, but rarely my own 'type' because I thought it would be harder. NO. You have more chemistry with your type, which is why they're your type. It is is easier to fuck girls that are beautiful to you personally than ones who are generally attractive.
Only thing I'll add:
Just over half of all of my first dates are wine at my place. I don't think I've ever been turned down for it. My next most common date is grocery shopping, then going back to my house to "put the meat in the fridge."
You really don't have to put any effort into dates, it's about spending time together, not impressing her. A girl who is attracted to you probably isn't going to sweat a first date being at your place either, because she knows you're just cutting down the layers of BS most guys can't.
Thanks for your words.
Yeah for a first date with someone I know / I've met I think I would suggest apartment. Never managed it from tinder which is reasonable I suppose!
I've never done Tinder, but that makes sense. Too many horror stories of internet meetings gone wrong.
Yeah I'd be wary about an unscreened girl from the Internet knowing where I live!
5 is law...
Wait until you're older to have kids. As a proud father of three I'm really glad I waited until I was 31 to have kids.
Definitely a great post. Your style of writing is really good and straight forward / honest. What I want to know though is about the LTR. First, how did you go about ending it? I'm in an LTR of about 2 years now and I really want to fuck other girls but I'm unsure of ending it because I like the companionship and I feel more focused on my career / other things rather than finding/spinning plates. Do you think life is better since ending it or did it not affect you that much after a while?
Ending it was one of the hardest things I ever did. But. As soon as I had I felt amazing and knew I had done the right thing. I am getting a flight today. I'll use it to write a fairly lengthy description of the hell I put myself through and how to torture yourself about something that is simple and happens all the time.
I'll reply to this comment.
Awesome. Looking forward to it
I'm aware I still haven't responded.
Weirdly I have received a silly volume of messages asking me how to end an LTR.
I did not expect that to be the big takeaway from this post. I thought guys might pop on a new shirt and remember to clip their nails. Now I'm trying to think how to word responses to people in happy relationships that they don't want!
What I'm saying is, I have decided to have a go at addressing this in a whole new thread. I'll try and do it soon.
Thanks more mental masturbation for me
I've often wondered...... Is mental masturbation a good thing?
Never been sure what the phrase means.
Sort of like reading the achievements of others then not going out and doing it.
It's neither good nor bad because it makes you feel good but also that good feeling stops you from taking the action
Great post. Read #11 twice.
That's been a huge step for me. It's freeing.
So I'm good at dealing with shit tests, initiating sex, keeping boundaries, etc.
But I sick at actually picking girls up. If I see a pretty girl, I don't know what to say. If by some chance we are already chatting I do fine. Any way you can get into more details on how to actually meet girls and what to say?
Man, if I knew how to answer that i would. It's the part I struggle with most as well. I think its the toughest bit for everyone. I struggle to answer as it feels like no two are the same. I have no plan.
I suppose the best way to put it is I make the most of every opportunity and I say yes to invites. If people invite me somewhere its very likely I'll be there. I go to shit that I don't even like the sound of just to see what happens when I get there.
Want to come to a 3 hour talk on the history of the spring mattress? Fuck no. But.... Ah, go on then. Who knows, it might be fun.
Posted this on another thread.... might be germane here as well....
Can I make a few observations as an almost 45-year-old who's learned a thing or two and none of it pertains to how to be a PUA or any other contrived attempts at getting laid or entering into an LTR?
I'm always myself. Always. A woman (or group of women) who doesn't like me for precisely who I am at that moment isn't one who's likely to find me infinitely more interesting or attractive later. Games. And it has the added benefit of preserving my pride, integrity and self esteem (that's going to become increasingly important as you age fellas). Also, wait until you've had the misfortune of stumbling onto a hot borderline or narcissistic piece of ass who is entirely false/mirrors and ends up gutting you. You'll understand how unnecessary, unhealthy and juvenile being disingenuous is. Being yourself and loving yourself makes you the ULTIMATE alpha, trust me.
Having said that, I stay in excellent shape. You'd never guess I was 44. I look better than many if not most men 20 years my junior. I do it entirely for me. I feel great and I'm so much more mentally dialed in owing to the mind/body connection. Looking good is feeling good and there's nothing wrong with that. Do it for you and you alone tho. Meatheads who do it for attention and affirmation are generally the ones STILL jerking off at home at the end of the night or giving me death stares, calling me "faggot" while I chat up several women. The attention will follow as a natural consequence of looking and feeling good. You'll exude confidence naturally.
Remember when it was kind of embarrassing or frustrating to be intelligent and cerebral growing up? You could actually get your ass kicked for it? Yeah, that shit is dead. I'm well-educated, well-read, well-traveled and multilingual (Spanish, French, Portuguese and Italian with working proficiency in others). however, I am extremely self-effacing and humble by nature so when I recently had the opportunity to speak Portuguese with some Brazilians, the woman I was with was 10 x more impressed because I never made a point of drawing her attention to it. Point is, turn off the game and pick up a history book or good biography. Your mind gets you laid as often as your face or body, if that's your intention. It's OK to be be smart and exude intelligence. Let the troglodytes fight for the Beckys who are hung up purely on biceps or status.
Be good to other men. Don't fall into the cesspool that has ensnared many women - rampant, caddie infighting. We're all kind of on this ride together, and as such, we need to have each other's backs. There are plenty of douchebags out there and we all know it but underneath the bluster is some deeply insecure guy just looking for people to connect with, no matter the comportment to the contrary. I'm no misogynist but I'm increasingly wary of and concerned about the sheer preponderance of personality disordered and narcissistic primadonnas ambling around out there. And sadly this is our dating pool. We tend to see this female scarcity and as a result we are prone to devaluing each other for the sake of some female attention that is largely of questionable value lately. Men have been fighting and dying in the trenches together for thousands of years. Not trying to be dramatic here but this is something of a battle for the future of masculinity. Give the guy behind you a hand up is all I'm saying....
Hope that added something of value....
Wow, thanks!
I really like number 3.
I appreciate your post but, I’m a bit confused on point number 9. Text only for logistics. What exactly should we (guys) aim to achieve with your advice here?
So I recently met a girl in a bar. My phone was dead so she took my number.
She text me the next day, Sunday. I message back to arrange to meet her one week later, the next Saturday.
That was it. No jokes. No memes. No chatting up a storm all week. I'll message her on about Thursday to confirm plans. For first couple of dates I don't communicate or play about with them when we aren't physically with each other. I also tell them, "I'm terrible at responding. I'm trying to use my phone way less." That way it's because I'm busy and not an asshole. It also has the benefit of being true. I do want to use my phone less.
Didn't know Don Jon is on Reddit
I don't follow that refference.
Was Don Jon the movie with JGL watching loads of porn?
Yeah. The idea was that he slept with decent girls from night to night (eventually Scarlett Johansson) but still continued to watch a ton of porn. Not saying you watch porn, just your post made me think of the movie
Got you.
I try not to as, honestly, not all these women are great! This run has been good granted but don't get me wrong I sleep with average girls as well. More average than great over my whole life. Solid great period just now.
But I'd rather fuck a 6 than watch porn.
The problem. If I've watched porn, I won't have the motivation to fuck a 6. I'll pass.
I like feeling horny so I try not to watch porn.
Same man. I'm 107 days porn free. :)
Oh shit! Well done. I've never tried to make an effort to QUIT as such.
I just try and think, should I watch some porn or read a book. I'll try and push for read a book. I don't always manage it though.
Fuck man, I like Asian girls and we don't have many in my town so sometimes I get the itch.
I need some input on point 9. Soo, when I was younger I was really, really into texting. I loved this crap, and it helped me avoid "playing video games all day" when I was bored. I'd rather text girls all day than play games all day. But next thing.
I noticed only the girls that texted me daily were into me. Hell, when some girl just started barely texting me, I'd soft next her and find replacement ASAP. When I ignored some of these girls for longer periods of time, like yeah - 2 weeks, I could definitely see nothing will be the same forever.
I see your point that they're texting someone 24/7 anyway and in that situation I'd agree being "mysterious guy who has no time to text" could work, but if a girl gets oneitis fast and text you all day, she will have to find this from someone, and just find next prospect if you text her 5 messages per day or less. So how do you guys differentiate this? Ofc I mean girls, not women. I am not interested in anything that is not in 18-22 range.
Great article. I mainly enjoyed reading it not because of the TRP points (as I've read them before this post as you did) but because of the calm and friendly tone and approach to life. even this comment
I like people like you who have a healthy carelessness within them and I started surrounding myself with this type of people. The way they are (and I think you're the same, or at least you give this vibe) is that if they get a no, they smile like a kid and say "ok :)"
And actually the good point of this post was that it's approachable. Meaning: it's not one of those posts like "NOW GET YOUR ASS OF YOUR CHAIR AND GO AND ACCEPT FAILURE". it's more of a chill discussion with an older friend on a beer.
talking of failure: how do you react when girls say no?
Healthy carelessness is a great expression!
I am getting there. Healthy carelessness is what I want. I can do it when I focus on it. I. E. "remember now, we don't care about this and that's fine. It doesn't affect us. Carry on it's all good."
I want to reach it being my immediate response without me needing to remind myself and have the inner dialogue. I'm moving in that direction. It's good. I'll get there.
Rejection? Eh. I don't mind that much. I get it. I've met girls I don't want to date. I didn't hate them they just weren't for me. Some /a lot of girls feel that about me.
I like when a girl likes me. I like the look of awe some of them get. I feel their attraction to me to be attractive. That might be narcissistic, I'm not sure.
Anyway.
So, when a girl rejects me. She isn't attracted to me. Her not being attracted to me kills my interest in her so we both actually end up at the same point. I am generalising and there are of course exceptions. Sometimes it hurts! Sometimes it's embarrassing. But overall it doesn't really matter does it?
I also like telling embarrassing stories about myself. They are my best stories so when I make a dick of myself I also try and reframe it to be, "this will be worth it later there are laughs in this."
I hope that is even somewhat vaguely related to what you asked about. I seem to lack focus in my responses!
Finally a quality post. And finally a post without hate for women. Half of this sub seems just angry at women
This is so fucking true. I barely look at Tinder now; I have enough quality plates to keep me busy and engaged. I'm happy with my life, and my sex life is only one of the parts of my life that makes me content.
Awesome post, valuable info.
I just wish there was more of an appreciation in this sub about how amazing it is to get to this level.
What we have achieved at this level is something that 99 percent of the human population wishes they could experience, but never will. It really is epic to have made it here. Happy for you.
It doesn't feel big. It feels like, "I can get laid now pretty much when I want." (not with whoever I want! But on any given week I could have sex pretty easily.)
Who cares?
But I realise the real win now is the "who cares?" I've been chasing the, who cares, I just didn't know it.
I genuinely hope and think if I can do it anyone can. I've been dealt an average hand and played it well enough. Really possible for most people with not huge amounts of effort.
“I've been chasing the ‘who cares’, I just didn't know it.”
That might be the most insightful comment I’ve ever read on this sub
I don't know about that but it's certainly nice of you to say it or feel it!
This is the opposite of what it feels like. In high school, everyone is like "omg, how cool would it be to get sex all the time?"
The entire point of OP was that having constant access to sex has shown him it isn't this super amazing thing your high school mindset has made it out to be.
In the high school days, I would drop anything to fuck a chick. Now I would pass it up to do something else if I so felt.
Yeah, it's cool you can have it when you want it, but this reverence for it is akin to putting pussy on a pedestal which is ironic since this mindset prevents you from getting it all the time.
I'd like to add one thing.
You can never tell what a woman's genitals are like just by looking at her. You have no idea what her hygiene or personal grooming is like, let alone what's going on from an infectious disease standpoint.
Don't even get me started on capacity. I've see skinny girls who fist themselves! And while you'd expect your garden variety fattie to be sloppy and loose, that's not always the case.
You ever go to stick your finger in a fat girls ass, and she starts to whine that it hurts? And you're thinking, "shut the fuck up, bitch, I know you take some monster shits with the amount of chow you put down, so I know your asshole stretches".
I mean, jeez.
You ever go to stick your finger in a fat girls ass, and she starts to whine that it hurts? And you're thinking, "shut the fuck up, bitch, I know you take some monster shits with the amount of chow you put down, so I know your asshole stretches". I mean, jeez.
That is poetry
Why the fuck are you getting down voted? I literally laughed out loud.
Plus, you make a very good point. This one side chick I was railing always surprised me. As soon as we started fucking, I felt like I was fucking an anime character - the way she moaned was so strange to me and actually kind of a turn off.
She had huge tits though and sucked my dick like an industrial vacuum so it was okay.
Awesome field report. Thank you for posting.
Where do you take the language classes? I was thinking of enrolling with a local community college to do that, but it looks like there are other options, too.
You're welcome man.
I do it at the University night classes. Once a week and I use italki a few times as well to do a lesson online with a Skype tutor.
Great stuff here - hanks for sharing and keep up the good work 👍🏼
Top advice. Onwards and upwards brother, carry on making the life you want and enjoying it.
bro i fucking love the way u write. damn! u should take notes in class for me
Really fantastic post. Clear, simple, direct. None of the fluff or bullshit, and advice that basically anyone can apply.
Thanks man. I think I'll spend all my airport time writing something down. It's been fun.
Thanks a lot man that's a really nice thing to say!
Solid advice. Thank you for posting this!
No problem man, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm a bit surprised as I kind of wrote it all to pass time on a plane. Quite a few people have read it now which feels odd!
Are you looking forward to an exclusive LTR or open
Exclusive.
I won't do open. Few reasons.
Types of girls who agree to it are not generally speaking for me. I want a girl who is into me. I'd like her to be unwilling to share. Maybe it's my own hangup but a chick who didn't mind me banging other girls? I won't feel that loved by her.
The countries I tend to focus my dating on have what I term old country values. They aren't putting up with that shit. Generalisation of course.
I'm not convinced I could deal with it. I'm not just having a relationship with the first girl I find who will accept me. If I am going down that road, I think she is pretty great. I might love her. I don't want a pretty great girl I might love on tinder trawling for dick and sending photos of herself to dudes. No thanks. Hard pass. Maybe I should be able to deal with that and remember it's not about me etc etc but I'm not sure that's a level of acceptance I am even aiming for.
This whole report is aces. Thanks for the contribution.
No problem. Thanks for reading and for the words.
Really dig the advice on the thread OP, based on what i read i agree 100% with what you said, esp the last point. Sex is meaningless, pussy is just pussy and girls come and go. The amount of girls you sleep with doesn't mean shit in life and what counts for more is how well you can make a relationship last and work, showing that you're a true man, taking care of those that you love.
Wish you the best man, you sound like a cool dude.
I really appreciated your response. Thanks a lot for taking the time to write that.
Solid post. I would add if you're looking to get laid via online dating (tinder) be upfront with your intentions. As soon as you match imply you're just trying to have fun. 9/10x for me at least it works and they often appreciate my honesty.
Yeah, I could be better at that.
I think from time to time I struggle with the shame of just wanting to have sex. I shouldn't feel any! It's fine. I should be OK with being perfectly honest about it but there is a weird guilt associated with it.
how the fuck he can increase his height.. oh.. ok ok.. it's about looks level...
edit: good tip about HB: your HB10 is HB6 for many men so don't hesitate...
You gave a good amount of solid advice, but it sounds a lot like you're exaggerating the amount of pussy you're getting, unless you're missing out on some important detail. Hooking up with 5 new attractive girls in 5 days is exceptional, and the way you give an offhand description of it just gives a vibe that's it's made up. Unless you have extremely good game, you have to be better looking than you think you are to do that well on tinder. Do you get a lot of ioi's before you start talking to girls? What's your body count since your breakup?
Hey man, yeah I can see it sounding fanciful. I never expected it to be so easy. That was kind of my whole point of writing the post. It's been so easy it surprised me to the point I wanted to share it.
5 in 5 days is utter nonsense. Agreed. I will say though, not 5 new pickups and sex. Not five first dates. 5 different girls 5 days in a row is what I meant. Some I knew before. Some tinder. Still ridiculous.
Ultimately, the words are there. People generally speaking seemed to have liked them but you are suspicious of them, that's ok.
I thought that MAX 4 fucking people would read this shit!
Can anybody elaborate on #9 a little more?
Great post op! Much quality post. Much wow 👍🏻
My main takeaways from this post:
Be attractive. (7/10 at least)
Don't be unattractive (below a 7)
Get 15 years of muay thai experience
Have a solid unbreakable frame and a good grasp of game
?????
Profit!
If you want takeaways you can't use, absolutely use your list. It will work for not working.
Alternatively, using your numbering....
1 Make yourself as attractive as you can.
2 Do simple things that make sure you aren't seen as unattractive.
3 Take some form of physic exercise and have passions..
4 Jusy try your best. It's all you can do. Read the stuff and give it a go. Nobody is unbreakable. Everyone fucks up.
5 ???? I don't know, maybe a positive approach? A self believe? Have fun with it.
6 We agree. Profit.
How can you say that being attractive, having a strong frame + good game and being ripped will not work for getting pussy?? That's practically the entire RP formula right there.
I don't know how you took that from what I said.
My comment was about your approach rather than the methods.
So when someone says to me "have good frame" I think, ok and how do I do that? I don't think all you need is "good frame."
I wrote that quickly and it maybe didn't do what I was saying justice. What I mean is I find the initial list reductive.
So. If someone asked, "how do I get in shape?" Two answers, one more useful than other I hope you agree.
Be ripped.
Details of a weights program. Dietary advice. Supplements advice and a map to good gyms.
They are saying the same thing but one is more likely to lead to success right?
I think and hope the initial post was closer to answer 2 than it was 1.
You're actually completely right, sometimes I play devils advocate just for the hell of it, but in this case it doesn't really apply. your post was informative & interesting, you just made it all sound almost effortless and I can't help but wonder if that's because you're attractive, but I may be getting the wrong idea since the whole point of your post was what actually works rather than a lengthy post detailing everything you've tried that doesn't work and cataloguing the failures that I'm sure you've had along the way.
"Not a hassle at all"
Lists 3 pages immediately after of things you need to do.
Too much hassle for me, but good on you mate.
I don't think the length of text is an indication of the hassle. Keep in mind a lot of the text was stuff like clip your nails and don't smell like shit. Have some wine in the fridge. I mean, that's not a big hassle.
Someone could stretch a description of oral hygiene and tooth brushing technique into a whole book. Doesn't mean that you stop brushing your teeth, "a whole book! Fuck that, too much effort."
thats true man. I like your positive attitude. I think I have a pretty bad attitude and am negative a lot
It's new mate. I hope it lasts.
Took a fair bit of work to get the positive approach but now it's making pretty much everything in life easier so maybe it balances out in terms of effort.
Really disagree with number 7,your should create a life YOU want to be a part of
I think we agree on that actually but my word choice was poor.
I think what you say is better...... And then in turn when will be attracted to it. Good point.
Awesome advice here, thanks!
Ah thanks man, I had no idea people were still reading this!
This subreddit is basically Barney Stinsons
Don’t have a LTR. They’re fucking cancerous, unless you manage to happen to find the 1:1,000,000 unicorn that has a low N-count, good attitude, loyal even when times are tough, healthy outlook, etc.
I've had 2. Both have been anything but cancerous. Low N counts and great people. Most of my happiest times have been travelling or doing stuff with one of them.
Again though, I agree with a lot of what you say in that the bad ones are not worth having.
What's an "N count"? Can't find it referenced anywhere.
From context I gather it is the number of people she has had sex with.
You’re on The Red Pill and don’t know about N-count? Did you read the sidebar?
Damn, I wish I could be as casual as you are about this whole thing, but I'm not and I know I never will be..
Why not man? What stops you?
Like, what part of it causes you stress?
First and foremost, I don't have an active social circle where meeting girls is guaranteed. I tried Tinder and got a few matches, but as soon as I suggested that we meet, I was ghosted, every single time. I'm not a club or bar person, so that certainly minimizes my chances of meeting new people.
Knowing that's a problem might be part for he way to fixing it. At least you know that's an issue.
Is there anything you'd like to join or take up that you never have?
I already tried a lot of things like climbing, martial arts, surfing, plus I'm in a band where meeting girls should be the easiest thing in the world, but since I'm not a very outgoing person and quite introverted I find it hard to connect with the people around me. I think this is a topic too broad to discuss here.
Ah fuck it, if not here then where?
I won't be able to help but it might be worth typing it out. I don't understand introversion as I've never felt it.
Does it come from a fear of what people will think? Anxiety?
This subreddit is basically Barney Stinsons