Meta Rule: Be a narcissistic jerk -- or at least act like one -- even if it's not your nature. This facilitates everything else.
Take care of yourself first!!! You cannot count on anyone -- especially any romantic interest -- to stick by you if you get sick or lose your job. Therefore, do everything in your power to make sure you stay fit, healthy, and gainfully employed.
Women rate 80% of guys as being below average aesthetically (OKC survey). Therefore, do whatever it takes to get into and remain in the top 20%. Exercise and diet are priorities. If you have to "cheat" do so. weight loss surgery, TRP, cosmetic surgery, do what you have to.
Don't slack off even if you're in a LTR. She'll expect you to ignore her physical decline but she sure as fuck won't ignore yours. Going to the gym is actually more important for guys in LTRs -- they have more to lose.
Don't play her game -- being a strong male is way more important than cheap romantic gestures. She wants a strong Alpha not a fat sick Beta with roses.
Do not invest in any relationship with a woman until she proves she's worthy.
If she's externally motivated run! If she's excessively concerned about what her friends, colleagues, and acquaintances think she's not relationship material. This type of girl is expensive and never satisfied.
It's a good thing for a woman to have goals. However, talk is cheap, if a woman is all talk and hasn't actually executed she's not relationship material. Getting what you want takes work and sacrifice. If she has a history of not putting in the work and not enduring the requisite sacrifice to reach her stated goals she's not worth your time, effort, or investment.
Stay away from damaged women. If she's been abused and/or traumatized be empathetic but write her off as a serious prospect. Cold for sure but very important for self-preservation.
If her mother is an objectionable person run. If her mother is a dishonest, grasping, materialistic objectionable person run faster. We all know where this item is going.
If she claims to be nothing like her mother look for proof that she is indeed different. DON'T JUST TAKE HER WORD FOR IT!!! The proof must encompass a very significant amount of time and must involve serious effort on her part.
Stay away from women who claim they're "not like those other bitches". She's most likely either lying or deluding herself. If she has a history of being dishonest, greedy, and self centered she's just like those other bitches (if not worse).
Stay away from women who are always making excuses. Life requires effort to overcome obstacles. If she has a history of being derailed by minor obstacles she's not relationship material. This is especially true if she's otherwise smart and, therefore, could have, with a little effort, easily negotiated her way around or over life's little obstacles. Examples; (a) gets taken to the cleaners at the used car dealership because she never had a father to teach her how to buy a car -- especially bad when she works just two blocks from a Barnes & Noble with many good books on how to buy a used car -- and let's not forget the internet; (b) never finished college because her family wasn't supportive and didn't go back even though advancement in her chosen career absolutely requires a 4 year degree at the very least -- especially bad when the degree she needs can be obtained online through a number of reputable universities (good state schools).
No agency or execution. If she only takes advantage of opportunities that fall into her lap she's not relationship material. Individuals need to act -- if you have a goal it's on you to take the action necessary to reach it. If the only reason she got an AA is because her welfare social worker told her it was either that or get a minimum wage job run. If she started a degree completion program through her employer but never followed up on her own when budget cuts terminated the program run.
If she has a history of substance abuse run! Even an eating disorder counts. If she can't control what she puts into her body how can she be trusted with anything.
If you want a Norman Rockwell life you have to choose a woman with deeply ingrained middle class values (i.e. internally motivated, strong work ethic, truly values honesty, willing to delay gratification ...). If her ghetto or trailer park background is just below the surface she's not relationship material.
I'm really loving these posts where experienced, seasoned men detail lessons learned and offer advice in this format. Thanks for sharing. I hope others will continue to do so.
Agreed. I'm no youngster either, it's interesting comparing notes.
The recent ones have been spot on with my experience.
Agreed. I definitely want to see more of these.
Liked this post overall, and agree.
One bit to note is that in feminist America, some women can be overtly “independent” / possess too strong a frame to be LTR material at first. They are still easy to realign them to your frame and mission of course, if you have RP / alpha mentality, but if you are too weak or fail to do this, you will pay the price eventually.
If anything, a high value female as an LTR target should be more supportive and nurturing than independent per say.
You can see these days a lot of "career women" having extreme difficulty to find a partner due to being picky and lazy at the same time.
can confirm the "Lazy" side. Sister-inlaw of mine, conservative/liberal... sought the career, obligated though, due to not working enough on her body and too much on the schooling and career. Stayed a fat girl in highschool, college and into woman-hood but kept her picky nature in men without the body to match it. Finally married around 34-35 to a nice guy. Had a baby 2 years after... pregnancy/delivery literally almost killed her. Too bad she didnt put some of that school effort into losing 35-40 LBS (takes 6 to 12 months)... coulda married a lot sooner and had less age-related issues during pregnancy.
I never get sick of reading these because they are great reminders.
We don't really know who OP is and it would be silly to care. What matters is that the advice is clear and practical and that it resonates with you. If you weight any advice more highly just because it comes from someone who claims to be old or experienced, you risk getting bogged down in useless bullshit. This is a good post with some non obvious and pretty self evidently valid heuristics for evaluating women. It also implicitly provides some scales to evaluate yourself and the people you associate with so it nicely combines general self improvement with sexual strategy. When I read posts like this I test them for genuine quality by imagining the same message coming from a 20 year old virgin or something to make sure the ideas are good and not just the tone or ethos.
Edit: typo
Yes experienced advice is golden
Agreed the 21 year old.version of this is:
1) If she doesnt give 21 blow jobs a day RUN!
2) If she doesn't call you daddy RUN!
3) If she doesnt do ass to mouth RUN!
4) If she doesn't pay for you RUN!
etc.
Right. Bullet points help. Too many self-indulgent wall o'types on this sub.
I couldn’t get through most of it. It’s cringey and biased
Do you really believe that the guy who wrote this is somebody who you should look up to?
I didn't say anything about looking up to anyone. I said I liked it when people with more experience than I have present lessons learned and advice in this format.
Not trying to be an ass but dismissing somebody's arguments for who they are without analysing their arguments is called ad hominem argument.
Maybe instead of looking up to people you should start listening to their words.
The "Don't listen to their words, instead look at their actions" can be applied in all parts of life.
Peace
I'm not dismissing his arguments because of who he is. He doesn't even reveal anything about himself. I'm dismissing him because his "lessons" are the reflections of a regretful old man who wishes he still had a wife. Nobody who follows these rules could have any sort of self esteem.
lol only a beta male needs to go on forums to learn "how to be a male" and basic fucking common sense to get laid.
Fucking pathetic.
You will always be a beta male.
You sound like a tough guy. If only I were like you. A true alpha.
Man you know I messed up when almost all of these apply to my previous LTR
Same. Mine abused the shit out of rule 6 and 7. Used me when it was in her benefit and then moved on. Still miserable and depressed. Posting shit on Instagram to remind others that she happy and rich. Lost on the inside, no interests, no long term friends.
I’m 46. Every point checks out 100%. I wish I had TRP 25 years ago, my life would have been very different. To the young guys reading this, PAY ATTENTION it’s the fucking truth.
I turned 51 about 30 minutes ago. I have had to learn all this shit from scratch. I am not bitter or anything; I just pay it forward.
The younger guys here should have some concept of having a quarter-million other men to chit chat with.
I'm only about two months older than you and I agree, this place is a goldmine. I grew up without a father around, and I wish this existed when I was a kid. Priceless.
If it's any consolation, most fathers are clueless anyway
we can never thank you enough for being willing to pay it forward
I'm going to turn 17 in 3 months. I found trp about 6 months ago and it's already shaped my life in a great way.
A lot of these rule are about women.
While some of the points are good, it should also be made clear (as if it already isn't) that women should be an addition to your life, not the focus of it.
Why does any person reading TRP think that anyone on TRP is making women to focus of their life? Why the fuck does this "don't make them the focus of your life" sentiment get thrown around so much? Literally no one is ever saying that women should be the goddamn focus of your life.
Because new guys fall into that trap easily.
Did not you read the point where OP suggested surgery?
7 is the red flag i missed. Wanted to be a professional artist. Changed schools twice. Dropped out one semester before graduation cause of money (excuse) was already making money at galleries anyway (lie) and just needed to get on her feet in a new city (sponge off me, never look for work, never take her portfolio around to galleries).
I loved her and I was right there, buying her excuses and making them for her too.
Keep you eyes open and don't believe shit anybody says until you see their true actions.
I was dumb and honestly thought everyone is like me, hardworking and dedicated (my own solipsism), just some caught breaks others didnt.
What a fool that boy was.
Join the club. I totally missed it too. It feels terrible when you realize what a chump you've been (or at least I did).
Trust me bro, it still stings. Experience is the best teacher, though.
"What a fool that boy was."
Who among us can't say the same? So glad I found TRP, or I still would be.
As a rule of thumb, women suck at being artists. Being an artist requires years of practicing and studying the craft, loneliness, depression, self-loathing, daily grind and hardwork etc until you rech a point of mastery. It's hardly fun because with each improvement you make you realize how much more you actually suck. Women just want the benefits, and try everything to avoid the process. That's why most of them suck and most of the rest ar mediocre at best.
That's how modern art was invented.
That boy was the raw you. Now you've developed to something else...
Never regret your actions as
you may have forgotten the reasons you had to take them but be sure they're the best decisions you could make with the information you had.
what you are is the results of all those years of fucking up. You learn and that's the whole point.
I know we are all aware of this but just a friendly reminder.
Peace.
That first one is how I avoid fixating on past dumb mistakes, but I often forget the second... good advice.
this. #1.... Sometimes, I think we shit a bit too hard on ourselves for being so naive... but, if we would have known, we would have done better. excellent reminder.
I edited the original post to remove the steroid reference. Upon reflection that wasn't good advice.
I find it ironic in our society and culture that they are pushing for hormone therapy for individuals transitioning genders and are even pushing it on children.
Yet testosterone and steroid use intended for men engaged in lifting or sports activities is shamed and ridiculed.
We truly live in a backwards era. It is becoming clear that the west worships women as their new gods and we are now reaping the rewards of this belief system, namely: millions of aborted fetuses, hordes of military aged men from dirt world countries invading and colonizing land and pussy, rapes and more crime, debt, and civil and social unrest.
I don't think you should have listened to the moralists who were criticizing you.
Steroids have always been on-topic discussion on here. They have generally been considered good to use for seasoned lifters, but bad for young/inexperienced lifters, and many of our EC's--GLO, Illimitable Man, etc.--have explicitly written on the topic of steroids: when to use, how to use, etc.
But if you have low "Normal" testosterone... perhaps it is best to consider TRT.
Na man, I knew exactly what you were talking about when you said "cheat". you are just following a law of power. Always say less than is necessary.
Hormone management is no different than a diet. Everything in moderation.
I'm 52 and I feel damn lucky that I grew up in the 70s in a dangerous part of a bad town in middle America, because (I only see now!) that I never trusted anybody and all of these came naturally to me, except the one quoted above, in a way.
After a couple of years in a LTR, I subconsciously thought okay, I guess we're together now, I guess I should start acting a little nicer, a little more mature. WRONG! Just being nice and doing things for her almost torpedoed the entire relationship. She hated it! It took me a while to figure out she wasn't interested in a "normal reciprocal equal relationship" IE a Blue Pilled idea.
This was years ago, way before TRP. Just fucking lucky I could see with my own eyes.
It's things like these that keep me on this sub, how TRP works counter-intuitively compared with blue pill doctrines. "Treat her special = endanger the relationship". Sounds dumb, but experience bears it out. Unless you are caught in the mutually delusive Beta Bucks con game where treating her nice is the one activity.
Any examples of what nice things you did and how you acted before you started to be nice? I am having the same problem.
I love how often he says "run"
coz running can keep you fit.
Interesting, a lot of these are good traits in well disciplined men. I was not so sure how much to care about these in women.
I've always hoped that women could exhibit good traits too. I'm getting used to disappointment.
I have learned number 6 the hard way. It was all about what others think in whatever she does. She was also the type that couldn't do anything right or succeed, was full of fears and needed to please anyone. She would also just expect anything to fall on her lap because she was too afraid to take on anything that required taking risk.
In the end, when I broke up with her, I still visited her family one more time as a goodbye effort. Her sisters and parents were welcoming, understanding and totally fine about the entire break up, and in the end her own mother said something along the lines of "she is still a fucking child". Incredible, I'm still welcome to visit them once in a while for coffee, even when I made their daughter/sister an emotional wreck that cried for an entire month.
Shit like that makes me laugh, man.
Remember I had a similar situation. Was 19, dated an 18 year old. Kicked it off really well with her family, earned the father's respect (former USMC officer for decades), as well as the mothers, and the sisters.
Shit went real south with the relationship with their daughter, and the parents just felt so disillusioned and even told me about it, that I deserved better.
Kind of funny when the parents themselves can admit a kid is kind of fucked like "yeah...she still has a lot of maturing to do".
I dodged a bullet though because the girl has very terrible dating cycles. I still run into and see the family on occasions and will talk a lot with them, we just keep the daughter ignorant.
My brother broke up with his GF because she was all the time using her dead mother as an excuse. It's not like it all happened all of a sudden, she had cancer and it was only a year later when she died and everyone knew. Besides that, she would always say "But my mom is dead!", even when she wanted to go to the beach or whatever. She was really milking the death of her mother dry until just dust came out. Brother calls it quits, then her dad comes up to our house, and teaches my brother a thing or two, like that he was too nice with his daughter and he should have called her out on her fucking shit and that he deserves better than that emotional wreck.
We stood speechless, we just listened in awe.
read my post on this thread regarding my ex fiance spending more money on the diamond I bought her for a bigger rock just to keep up with her other friends.
social media and the culture in general is a shitshow and is actively exploiting womens innate materialism and taking it to a hyper level. its a disgrace
Now let’s just pretend for a moment that such a woman exists (hint - they don’t) you forgot to put in:
As far as I am aware modern women who are HB7 or above have one thing in common (along with all your other red flags) and that is the CC. I don’t even disagree with your post but your post basically describes a unicorn. Even if you do find one of these mythical creatures then she will soon enough expose herself as a nag with a fake horn, or she will ride off into the sunset with another swinging dick one day. Even if she did stay, you will not want to fuck her after she turns 50.
Posts like these encourage readers with the fake disney belief in unicorns and happily ever after. There is no such thing. Every dude on earth has to accept that his woman will be sub par and have red flags, she is not yours it is just your turn. The woman who has your list of characteristics does not exist in modern times and probably never existed. Humans are not monogamous and the blue pill is a lie.
You're most likely correct. I thought the woman I married was a unicorn -- I ignored all the warning signs -- and, yes, she did indeed ride off into the sunset with a far richer guy (who I'm sure she'll cheat on since he's a Beta type specimen).
To quote Soul Asylum -- I may never get what I want, but I'm happy to die trying ... . And land many subpar women in the process -- I'll just make sure not to marry one again.
I used to travel alot in the states for work before the social media revolution. Almost every place I went to if I ever met women out and about when they found out I was in town temporarily and had a hotel room near by many wanted to come over and "hang out" at the room. They asked not me. Me: "Oh I'm married" her: "Oh thats ok. I'm (married/have boyfriend). Its just hanging out." I never did it. But yeah right just hanging out. I'm no alpha. If a woman can get away with not being found out by their social circle they will jump on the strange dick just for kicks.
Id take a girl who has ridden the CC but fullfills the positive point above (and not fullfills the negatives mentioned there) for an (open) LTR. Youre not her first and wont be her last dick, so why not enjoy her sexual experience and gained skillset? If she fullfills the point above she might actually be cool to hang arround with after sex. Being virgin is overrated anyway, the sex probably will suck.
I would append that list with
Not because racism or homophobia, but because women who also had sex with other women or a specific color of man are themselves tribal and uncivilized. They fetishize color and demonstrate a lack of impulse control. Same goes for women who go "slumming" or hunting rich guys, it masks some messed up parts on the inside.
Again, lack of impulse control. Sexual access to a woman should be gated behind requirements of high SMV. If anybody can tap it simultaneously, not only will she never be happy with just 1, she also has low self esteem and personal issues.
I think you should reword that. I think what you're trying to say is it's a red flag if she wants to "try out" specific races. Like she's not trying to find a good man but has a bucket list and just wants to check off sleep with a black, white, Mexican, and asian just to say she did it.
It's coming across more as next anyone who has dated outside their own race.
I think the paragraph is pretty clear on that, i wrote "for sexual gratification" as in women who actively look for certain skin color to fuck. Obviously, if a woman has had a serious LTR then who gives a fuck, but I'm talking about being carefull around women who just hook up across different divisions, because those women have A) very weird values and are borderline racist B) are actively trying to break a social taboo, it is like daddy issues only with society.
There is no reason to stick with one woman forever anyway, that is the Disney myth. Each girl in your life is a new phase, and the ones that get stuck on antiquated love and the idea of it, stick with women too long and then the cheating happens etc...
I think we can actually be a monogamous animal, but that we aren't long term monogamous animals.
Now THAT is the REAL red pill (one that most on this very subreddit have yet to have ingested). LTR's are not to be done right; they are not to be done at all because humans are not wired for it. There will always be underlying resentment, dissatisfaction and unfair expectations (expecting a guy to fill the role of three guys).
hmm...considering proposing to my current girlfriend but i assume nobody here will encourage me to do so
you should if you think that's what you want to do. but before you do, just find & watch this movie online.
if afterwards you still think it's the right thing to do, then go for it
I watched that a while back. It's nuts especially if you have kids. Basically you spend 1-2 years slogging through court. You end up having to sell half your assets to pay court costs. Then whatever is left gets split up 60-70% for her and 30-40% for him. And then the guy has to cut her a check once a month for "quality of life"
Kobe Bryant had one if the best divorce lawyers on the planet and he had to give her half of the $150 million net worth he built by himself. Then the courts decided that poor Mrs. Bryant needed more because how are you supposed to raise 2 kids with only 75 million dollars and three mansions? Kobe has to pay millions a year on top of that inutial settlement.
Do it if you want kids.
It you don't then there's literally no other reason to get married.
I'm going to propose in a year or so to a woman I've been with for 9 years and want to have children with. She's very feminine, understands the captain/1st mate dynamic and will be able to work part time while raising the children and work full time for more money when the kids are in school.
I have a kid and never married. We lived together several years, legally is very similar, but no divorce lawyers or any of that shit. I just walked out.
I think one of the points of marriage is you go into it knowing you won't walk out. Jordan Peterson changed my perception of marriage. I believe when you go into it knowing this is it, you can raise children with security and stability.
This is so unthinkable in modern relationship that I can't even process it. How you can be so sure when you have literally hundreds of men constantly msging all womens on whasapp/telegram/whatever. I believe marriage was great, but its for older times.
Yeah, don't. I know you may think it might be the right thing to do. But in today's society, it is perfectly possible to have a LTR, kids, family, and damn near the whole package without having to sign that paperwork.
As well, getting married is fine if you are sentient enough to make sure that you keep enough aside to rebuild your life if and when she decides to rip it out of your chest. If you have a nest egg, house, friends, possibilities of continuing your own life, then marriage is not a threat. It is when you give up your life to live hers that it becomes a terrible problem.
Since no man is capable of doing this right and correctly, (the system is designed specifically to avoid this happening), the logical conclusion is, never marry.
don't do it, read my other post on this thread.
here's a mind experiment for you to consider:
pretend that you tell your girl tomorrow that you have no money or prospects in the near future for your career. tell her that all the money you do have is given to you from your parents and that you have nothing to your name. imagine what her reaction would be to this news.
another tip: get the girl you are dating/fucking drunk. tell her something that would upset her (like the example I just used, there are many more you can think of, this is just one example). See how she reacts. Tell her you want a pre-nup before you would ever consider proposing. See how she reacts.
It is critical before you consider seriously committing that you know how she acts when things don't go her way or when things are bad. It is easy to be nice when things are going well. A marriage is supposed to last for life, there will be tough times. Don't marry a fairweather bitch who sticks around when it's sunny and runs away at the first sign of clouds and rain.
At the end of the day I would advise against ever getting married especially if you live in """""civilized countries""""" where laws are backwards against men.
Depends on if you want to do it or not. Really only you.
Just make sure you are doing it because you want to, not because you feel like you are "Getting older", getting pressured by parents, etc. It's only right if it's something you really want to do. Then, also, extreme vetting.
I think some Redpillers still support marriage. But, if I'm not mistaken, most eschew it -- for a huge, long litany of reasons: divorce rape, hypergamy, female cheating, fading limerence, inevitable nagging, etc.
make sure she actually likes to fuck you the way you like it... i messed up on that one myself. gonna be divorcing after graduation
Well, what do you expect to gain from it?
Involving the government in your relationship will never improve it.
Why? What are you after in doing so?
This is pussy shit. I'm happily married to a good woman who still dreads after 10 years of being together. She's extremely family-oriented, somewhat religious, has 2 or 3 very close friends, barely drinks (beer or wine a couple times a month), has a good job, showers me with gifts and food, keeps in decent shape/stays hot, and so on. I can't stand when butt-wrecked dudes blame marriage/women for their fucking problems. Fix yourself and you can have an extremely fulfilling married life. You're not doing it right.
Sure if she fucks up, you ghost. But she won't fuck up if you are a desirable man.
I like this. I believe that it's possible to be happily married. You just have to work your ass off to be a good man. an ideal man. That takes an incredible amount of work and discipline. The social conditions will change, the framework around marriage will change. But there have been successful marriages for thousands of years. don't marry a retard, always stay better than her. Always be in the position to leave first without damage. I know I'll want kids eventually. Can't raise a good child without a mother.
Yeah man, exactly. I want kids and a family. It's fulfilling as hell if done right. There's really nothing that brings me more joy.
By it's very nature, the RP is going to attract a shit load of discouraged and angry guys. Spending your life alone or jumping from pussy to pussy into old age is not the fucking answer. I guess for some people it is actually. But for me and a lot of other men it's not. I don't find happiness in solitude. And bringing a new girl around every Christmas (or no girl at all) doesn't satisfy me. It feels empty.
Not here to preach but there's way too much anti-marriage sentiment around here, and I have a feeling it's always coming from the same sort of guys - those who were burned because they made bad decisions and those who aren't even afforded those decisions to begin with.
Being a man is about owning your shortcomings and fixing them, so that you can fully own yourself and your family. Not slaying as much poon as you can at age 45. That shit gets old real fast. I was over random pussy by age 30. It stops being fun pretty quickly. Whatever... opinions and food for thought.
I wouldn't say advising against marriage is "pussy shit". I would say that avoiding a 50/50 chance of loosing 75% of your shit in court is just a safer plan.
Not for me! Thanks! I'll stay single!
Ok guys, I see a lot of panties getting bunched up and twisted over the mention of steroids. And I am well aware that I am going to get lambasted for this, but I don't give a fuck.
There is plenty of proof that steroids is dangerous long term. Also plenty of proof that it is beneficial short term. Adults, and this is what we are dealing with here, should make their decision to use based on research and a basic understanding of what they may be getting themselves into.
I have used steroids, both in high numbers and in TRT situations. I have nothing but good to say about them, yet that doesn't mean you should go out and shoot your ass full of steroids too. If you come here and decide to shoot steroids because OP mentioned it in his post, then you deserve to become part of the natural selection process and even maybe earn a Darwin Award.
After 3 years of heavy steroid use, I had a clogged artery. Got it replaced. Huge operation. But guess what, none of the doctors could relate steroid use to the clogged artery. Could it have made it worse? Sure, but so could breathing. Does this mean you should go and do steroids? If you are a fucking idiot, then sure, go do them just based on this short post.
You want to be politically correct? Go to any of those many blue pill subreddits available by the dozens here. This is a man's sub, you come here to learn to be Alpha, then learn to be Alpha. Can you imagine an Alpha male just running to take steroids because a poster mentioned it was a good idea? Jeez man FFS I may be wrong, but that doesn't mean I'm not right. Yeah, Walking Dead reference.
I am not responsible for idiots. No one should be. I stand by the OP's mention of steroids, it is a viable option to millions of men who actually need it. Pissants be damned.
BTW OP, good post man.
I'm 33 and have been contemplating going on TRT for some time now.
I have done years of research and as far I can understand, you are missing out on life if you are not hopping on at some point.
Maybe at 35, 40 or even 50 but at some point I'm for sure hopping on TRT. The most dangerous part of going on TRT is that you have to do it illigally where I'm from and that means buying TEST from unofficial businesses where you have no safety regarding how it was made etc.
In Canada, as far back as 5 years ago, I saw posters in the hospital. A campaign to have men check their testosterone levels. The benefits to having normal levels is extreme. It's just that the word steroids has such a negative connotation that people associate it with genocide or something.
I will tell you this. I cruised for over three hears and I have never felt better in my life.
"Your momma is so ugly, even her didlo needs viagra."
Be sure to get a blood test for the most common blood clotting disorders specifically Factor V Leiden. If you take TRT and have a clotting disorder, you are very likely to get a life threatening clot.
My 51st B-day is tomorrow (same day as Prince Charles, Condi Rice, Joe McCarthy, Monet, Copland, and a few other notables).
A quality woman will support you and take care of a lot of the bullshit in your life so that you are free to pursue your mission.
One flaw in the OKC stuff is that women rate guys lower because they don't want a match; they don't want guys to be messaging them. But still, even at our age, it isn't that difficult to be in the top quintile. The average BMI is 26.5 so just keeping trim - even in the absense of lifting - puts you ahead of the majority.
If you are still in the game at this point, then don't be ashamed to pull out the stops. If you are in decent shape, proper grooming will knock 10 or 15 years off. I am contemplating eye surgery because that is my only "tell".
It's always an active game. You are on a treadmill and if you rest, you get tossed off.
Don't be sappy but approach romantic gestures from a position of strength. A single rose from an alpha is far more meaningful than a dozen from a beta.
Check. Play things cool and don't put anything on the table until she does so first.
A girl with too many friends is a disaster waiting to happen. One who is too concerned with external appearances is not really into you.
Check
Horrible but true, and it can be difficult to let go because damaged chicks tend to be crazy, and dick-in-crazy is a whole lot of fun. Don't play that kind of white knight. These girls can be good for a fling - although you are playing with fire - but they are definately not long-term prospects.
If you are at all contemplating an LTR, meet mom ASAP. It's a good indication of what your girl is going to be like in 20 years.
So just stay away from women... honestly where are you going to find one that doesn't check one of those boxes?
Where would you find a HUMAN BEING that doesn't check one of these boxes?
You won't. But if you find only 3-4 partial checks, then that's looking pretty good.
Yes, perfection isn't required. For example everyone makes excuses from time to time -- but if it's all the time and regarding major issues there's a problem.
Your generation? Maybe you might find a pass, or a woman who was good enough at faking it to get a pass. But to find a millenial woman who passes these criteria, youve got to be kidding me.
Just be smart and detached enough you can bail if you need to.
Having an ejector seat doesn't mean you need to use it but you need to be sure about when you have to use it. The plane can be replaced.
Hmmm. Well, I agree that most people in general would probably check at least one of these boxes, but I am a guy and I honestly don't think I check any of these boxes. Why is it so hard to find a woman who can say the same? Just food for thought...
If shes a human being, run. If she breathes, run faster.
I thought this exact same thing. Perfection is not something you’re going to find!!
Good list.
Would add: The simplest explanation is the right one, almost every time. If something is going wrong in her life she will have a long and involved story about why it's going wrong. Never mind all that: Your first guess as to the real cause is likely correct.
I like judge judy's corollary "if it doesn't make sense, then it probably isn't true".
These are all things I wish I knew before I got married (and then divorced!)
Yeah I’m not doing steroids. Fuck that advice
Then don’t? I’ve been using for years now and I wouldn’t have it any other way. To each his own.
I don't use -- I'm just saying if all else fails -- it's better than being involuntarily celibate.
I did have weight loss surgery (WLS) to get back to dating weight. I'm sure some folks would consider that cheating -- but I don't care -- I did what I needed to do.
A lot of young people read here man. I personally think it’s irresponsible to say use steroids. Just my 2 cents
I mean it's up to the individual to make their choice.
Exposing someone to information isn't going to instantly make them head that route.
That being said you do have increased risk for infertility, hair loss, heart hypertrophy, permanent brain chemistry changes, lowered immunity, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and acne.
There's a spectrum. A young person taking high doses is a lot different than an older person taking TRT.
It's better to include caveats than simply avoid the topic. eg: Use steroids, but make sure you've been training for 5 years, can squat twice your body weight and bench 1.5x your body weight so that you don't tear a ligament; don't use too much on one cycle; play the long game.
One of the virtues of this place is that you can talk candidly about things you aren't supposed to, but which will help you if you know.
Get off your moral high horse and educate yourself. Steroids are a tool, and any tool is dangerous if you don't know how to use it.
Oh go fuck yourself . I was stating my opinion
I suppose you think it's a different matter entirely when a man takes steroids to become a woman don't you?
The NHS agrees with you unfortunately.
So it's acceptable to take steroids in order to "swap genders" because you have a mental health issue, but it's not acceptable to take them in order to embark on a self improvement journey that will involve months of hard work in order to have a better life?
Strong maths.
If your opinion is uneducated, it's misinformation. How can you have an opinion on something you don't actually know about?
Same could be said of alcohol, smoking, all recreational drugs, opioid painkillers etc. All of which will truly fuck you up if you don't respect what they can do do you.
I’m so done arguing about this. If you wanna juice . Juice. But to other people reading this: research before you do it
Again, it's a last ditch measure only.
Get trt treatment. Its not cheating. Women get all sorts of shit done. None of which requires effort.
If staying in shape naturally isn't enough to win over girls, then it's likely that the guy has serious flaws that steroids won't fix.
I'll agree with this. Shouldn't have include that advice.
Steroids are actually a lot less harmful than they once believed. Look at Arnold. He's still a beast and healthy.
Arnold is an outlier. I'm not making any life altering decisions based on a physical freak that has had access to top level medical care for most of his adult life. If you are eating right, and lifting correctly, you should be at your best. Period.
Arnold looks fuckin gross now are you serious lmfao
Edit: Upon further investigation I can't really find a legitimate photo of his physique nowadays, however, this man had resources to the best drugs and food. The average dude won't. Natty or it didn't happen
is it really though?
Id love to get laid on command whenever I want it, but where I live a woman can use the fact that you slept with her to destroy your life on a whim. If I get her pregnant she fucking owns my life from that moment forward like Im a goddamned slave. Being a 40 year old virgin doesnt sound that bad by comparison honestly
Your rule 14 tells me you can't be trusted.
I've never used steroids. I'm regretting I included that line. I was trying to get across the point that you need to do whatever you can to be attractive enough to be competitive in the dating marketplace -- nothing more.
I was referring to your comment about if a girl was fat you can't trust them.
You have a point -- what's good for the goose.
Which is true in 99% of the cases.
Don't want my cock to shrink
Steroids do no cause your cock to shrink. There's a possibility your balls might atrophy a bit but they'll return to normal if you come off most likely.
It can fuck up your body’s ability to produce t naturally. It’s shitty advice
It'll shut your production down while you're on it, no question. And while it may or may not resume production naturally after you come off that's the risk of the user. I'm not giving advice on take gear or not it's up to the individual. I simply was clearing up the myth your cock shrinks on it.
I had a mate die from roids.. they fucked up his heart... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aziz_Shavershian
Why does that make it shitty advice? The ability to naturally produce testosterone becomes irrelevant if you are injecting it.
And what happens after years of steroid use? Do you think your body will just start making it like it should or do you think there might be some complications? It’s risky. I don’t want to have to stay on trt my whole life
Good idea. It will ruin your heart later on then you'll be sick and fat and breaking rules.
Shoot just look at ct Fletcher .
Not if you get bloods done. Watch your diet and do your cardio.
Awesome! And never neglect basic skills like counting.
And at least two limbs. As long as one is a leg!
Is there anyone that satisfies these rules?
So I actually read that post as the person you should be yourself, not just what you should be looking for in a woman
that leaves about 3 women, and they are all taken.
Good post. Thank you.
Would you please expand a bit more on "the Norman Rockwell life"?
In 53 years, did you have any children?
The stereotypical little house with a white picket fence (I actually bought one with my first wife when I was 24), two or three kids, nice family dinner on Sunday evening, smiling family on Christmas morning ... . I thought I had it twice but it slipped away.
I have four kids (two sets of two) and one granddaughter. My two oldest kids are all grown up with significant others and careers. My two little girls are still in elementary school. I have them 45% of the time (its not my week so I have lots of time to waste here today).
Would you say that divorce in any marriage in the West is inevitable, no matter how "alpha" the man is?
I certainly hope not -- the odds aren't good but I remain optimistic.
when you add kids to the mix, the clock starts ticking....
I am 50 years old. I have been married since 1996 and together since 1985 and I CAN CONFIRM THIS POST.
such a great year for me. Actually the whole decade was great. The whole decade was sex drugs and rock & roll.
That was before the birds fell off the roof.
I learned this one the hard way.
Good post
It sucks that there's not many women like this left
It's old, sound advice: look at what her mother is like - this is what she will be like in a few years.
Companion to it is this: look at what her attitude to her father is. Because that's what she will think of you. Of course, in this day and age more than half the women don't have fathers.
And finally, look at how she treats the waiter. This is how she treats people whom she does not have to make an effort to treat well, which will be you if you are careless and let yourself get locked down.
The interesting thing is that while my ex's grandmother (who had been her caregiver for much of her childhood) was alive she managed to not act like her mom. But without her grandmother to keep her in line she soon be came her mom's mini me.
This is what I come here to see.
Following your rules 99% of women are not relationship material. Not that this is inherently wrong...
Yes, that's about right. I think Rollo listed 95% in one of his writings.
After 20 years of marriage I found #1 to be absolutely true. I lost my job AND I destroyed my shoulder in an accident. My wife both blamed me for the job loss (I worked 12 hrs/day) and cut off sex altogether (it's been 4 years now) as well as told me to sleep on the sofa because I was tossing too much on bed in pain.
You're only hurting yourself.
I know right? It is like taking a poison pill. But it is not rational anymore.
Do whatever it takes to break out of this funk. Its far more satisfying to take control of your life. I know its not easy I was walking around in a daze for about 9 months after my wife told me she wanted to divorce.
Suicide is not the answer. You need to take control. Your body is enjoying it right now because it’s getting food and rest for little work. It doesn’t know that it’s fucking itself.
Just because she says no to sex there's someone out there who will say yes
In these 20 years I have never cheated on her, despite the opportunities - like a stunning blonde friend showing up naked in my hotel room. I do this not for her but for my children. I would not bring shame to them, I'd need a divorce first. But a divorce would mean she gets half+alimony as she never worked - despite my rants about it. So I am set on spending our entire savings before that, that's my revenge. Just bought a $1,800 computer monitor at Amazon.
Make sure you know your laws on everything before you pull the trigger. Personally i think burning your savings first is a mistake. You'll likely lose the house to her or be forced to sell it. Or if she keeps it you're out a house, have no savings, no place to live, and need to pay alimony and/or child support on top of it.
Lol tips from a resentful single 53 year old about how the world is out to get you, and people don't deserve your respect.
This sub is sad. Don't blame women, or anybody for your shortcomings. I recognize that the vast majority of people on here are guys who are 18-30, working a job that they won't find a career in, and trying to fix their self esteem issues by working out. Exercise is great, but it won't fix you as a person.
Evaluate your shortcomings, set goals, and most of all love yourself. If you don't, work on it, and look for something in life that excites you, and challenges you. Please don't let yourself turn into a bitter old man who believes that being a dick is going to get you anywhere.
I'm actually quite an optimistic person. Regarding my divorce I put a lot of blame on myself because I was too blind to see all the red flags and I neglected to make taking care of myself a priority. I'm not a martyr -- I'm not lost in self pity -- I'm taking active steps to improve my weaknesses (mostly physical as I'd already spent a lot of time and effort getting an education and career).
Also, being a dick may not be the answer but neither is being a "nice guy" -- I'm really sick of people (i.e. women) telling me what a "nice guy" I am -- being a "nice guy" never got me shit!
I hope I do not have to explain why this advice is toxic and hypocritical.
Most people on this sub could certainly be painted at damaged goods, and inversely, if women were to follow your advice, all these TRP believers would be overlooked.
And finally, I think the frequent use of the word "run" is an excellent summary of what the message being this post really is. I don't need to go into what that reflects about your character, because I don't take any enjoyment in being rude, but you should not be telling young men with low self confidence to run at the first issue in a relationship. I understand that it may make you feel valued and wise with all these people supporting you, but in reality you are only spreading the mistakes you've made in your life.
I wish you good luck in finding someone who brings something new to your life.
It all comes down to who is paying for shit in LTR.
Only if you need the money.
It's called being selective you pussy.
"Most people on this sub could certainly be painted at damaged goods, and inversely, if women were to follow your advice, all these TRP believers would be overlooked."
There's not 100% equality in terms of roles, expectations, desires, etc between the genders. This doesn't work.
Oh hey, an opiate user. Sorry, you don't pass the test. Damaged goods.
Nobody is blaming women for our shortcomings. We only request that they take responsibility for their own, instead of pinning everything on men. So take your self-righteous attitude and stick it up your ass sideways :)
I don't think women pin everything on men. If I'm being honest, I think this sub is the epitome of pinning all your problems on the opposite sex lol. I've never heard people talk so much about something they seem to despise. It reminds me of the women who blame everything on "the patriarchy".
Just realize that you started with a statement saying "Women don't pin everything on men", and then ended with a comparison of TRP to "the patriarchy"...
Feminism, which has been readily adopted by society since the 1960s on, has literally identified all of societal malfeasance as an exclusively MALE problem. Hence, the name: the PATRIARCHY. Everybody has heard the term; it's ubiquitous in today's society. Those "bad/evil men".
The closest thing TRP has is "AWALT", which is simply a reminder that all women generally function using the same psychological operating system and amoral reproductive strategy.
So no, they're not the same.
Should be printed out and posted somewhere to be read every once in a while.
On point 6, would you lump needing external validation as the same as external motivation? I am referring to say the social media whores with overactive need for attention on FB, Instagram, etc.
Yes, I'm thinking that would just be another side of the same coin.
Thanks, you've got the bases all covered as far as I can tell. The validation thing is something I've noticed more with the younger (35 and under) crowd.
Preach! This knowledge will help many
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nyg-GEOpc5Y&t=15s I agree me too, I feel the same way!!
Great post. Many fine points. I especially like the one about looking at Mom's behavior as your s/o's future behavior. I disagree with taking steroids. You can pay a serious price later in life and it is simply not worth it to me. Eat big, lift big, then cut. Thanks for the post. I appreciate your insight.
20 percent is way high. It's more like 1.
well written but assumes you are looking for a long term woman partner. if you are just looking for adventure you will pass up many hot beauties this way
Yes it does. When I was 19 I loved the chase. It's just not that fun anymore.
the ultimate blue pill is to need a woman in your life .. negates all your other criteria
Sorry, but while I accept that female psychology is not what I'd like it to be and that hypergamy is encouraged by society these days, I will not accept the idea that life is somehow better without a partner.
I enjoyed being married most of the time. In fact I enjoyed it so much I got complacent and neglected the harsh realities of female psychology. Going forward I'm looking for a partner with better relationship potential and if I find her I will sure as shit not let myself get complacent again.
Sure as fuck is for me. Married once, lived with two other girls and now I've lived alone for five years and I am flourishing.
I wish I’d read this about 12 years ago
Well, there goes relationships with almost every younger woman I’ve ever met. Number 10 is especially important. Recently was talking to one who claimed she wasn’t like like the others. I’m not going to talk about all the various manipulative things she did and told me about doing to other guys, but I will talk about about one of her delusions.
One day a friend of hers let it slip that a few years back the girl I was talking to made a New Years resolution to BE MORE SELFISH. Yeah, cause a woman really needs a resolution to be selfish. This girl was very manipulative and selfish. Tried to fuck me twice while in relationships with two different guys. Once night she was telling me about how earlier that day her new boyfriend bought her a gift bag with $400 dollars in stuff in it. Later that night she was lying down next to me asking me what I would do if she started playing with herself.....and these bitches wonder why I won’t even buy them drinks. This chick would also bitch and complain the every guy she’s been with has cheated on her and now here little miss victim is trying to cheat with me the day someone just spent a shitload of money on her. I’m really starting to get fucking disgusted with women all together.
This really needs to be nailed down. My ex-fiance was a lot like this. At first she pretended she wasn't but turns out she lied just like the rest of them.
I ended up proposing and buying an engagement ring (~$5,000) a significant sum but something I could afford. She went, with her mother of all people, to get a bigger rock for her ring (an extra $3000) without telling me. Turns out her friend (read frenemy) got her engagement ring from her bitch boy fiance that cost $20,000! I guess my ex fiance felt pressure to show off a bigger rock.
When I ended up dumping her she confessed that she bought a bigger rock behind my back to compete with her frenemy. I laughed in her face when she told me that and said "how stupid do you feel now?" Either way, I made a good move by kicking her out and dumping her before the wedding (3 months prior to be exact).
Never doing that again. Learned my lesson at 27 and it cost me $5,000. Luckily I got off easy and will not ever get married or buy expensive jewelry for a woman again. Such a scam for suckers.
Why the FUCK did you let her keep the ring? That ring wasn't a "gift" it was part of a contract and should have been returned once the contract was voided. She did none of the work but kept the reward.
She can keep it, for me to force her to give the ring back is a waste of time. This was months ago and I’ve since moved on. Since she put in an extra $3k and I put in $5k it would be a pain in the ass to do it and she would make it drag on longer.
Chalk it up to a learning exprience. I’m never falling for the ring meme again and don’t ever plan on marrying. Still want to have kids though so I have to figure out how to do that without putting myself in a position to have to split assets or pay her alimoney in the event she decides to blow up the family.
It's also not worth anywhere near the price that was paid for it.
Solid tips but I don't think I've ever met a woman who passes all these. Not even close tbh
A lot of good stuff here but I think your point about cosmetics is absurd. If you aren't good looking, don't get surgery.
These are unicorns in modern society, however, I know where these unicorns flock too. At the church I attend, all the girls I like this. None of them engage in pre marital sex. They'd been programmed from a young age to be this way and it has definitely overrode their biological impulses(AWALT). I would never engage in an LTR with any modern female, but the ones at my church are ideal and I wouldn't think twice.
Lol. Church girls are some freaky bitches. AWALT. They might be sneakier about it but they still hoes.
This isn't a church like you'd imagine. No one wears make up, no piercings or tats, no modern music,television or music, no alcohol or drugs, and even kissing is prohibited before marriage. I know everyone quite well and these girls aren't hoes. Also the divorce rate in the church is essentially non existent.
Maybe they're not actively being hoes but they still dream of fucking Chads and will do so when they get a good chance. AWALT.
but they church? tuff to get down with that
AWALT means ALL. Lol you gave an exception for something without exceptions
Unicorn doesn't only mean "have an n count of <50 by age 20." It also means that they will fuck you after you get married, WON'T fuck Ramon the pool boy or Jamal the fast food worker, etc...
I believe that you are looking at the women at the church through rose colored glasses. I used to be like this. I was in for a big shock.
Nah, I follow TRP closely and I agree all modern women are like that. However everyone at this church was basically raised in an environment where sex was taboo to even talk about, and pretty much any physical contact is prohibited before marriage. I sincerely believe that the vast majority if not all of girls virgins until marriage. Same goes with many of the males at the church.
Much of this points to observe her BEHAVIOR and not what she SAYS.
Good advice which on the whole leaves only a very small percentage of women that would be good—dare I say ideal—for a LTR.
In my experience most American women are out of the running. They are either obese, ignorant, controlling or cough all three.
Show me an American women that knows how to cook and treat her man. I know there a few... a FEW...
Not a bad list at all. It's important to have an awareness of these things because a lot of them, if not all of them, are common causes to guys getting sucked into oneitis and bad LTRs where they have no power, and/or they are the beta bucks guy spending all his money on a girl or any girl that shows him attention.
Women are constantly shit testing because of their hypergamous nature. So, at any given time, she could be looking (subconsciously) to see if there are any cracks in your armor, and if so, where. You don't have to become paranoid, constantly checking everything she says; but it won't hurt at all to be at least aware of these things so that certain situations do not evolve under your nose and you are completely and totally unaware until it's too late.
there's beauty in exercising and working towards a certain body image, and it teaches many crucial lifeskills while developing patience and confidence. Dont do roids until you've reached your body's limit ...
Don't know why you were down voted but seriously, unless you are trying to go pro in bodybuilding or fitness modeling, doing steroids is playing big time with your life over some vain shit which you can overcome with other qualities, status, friends, cool life, personality, etc.
This is massively useful and helpful material.
What do you do for a living?
You sound pretty full of shit based on my gut instincts.
The blue pill is that way, bitch.
I'm a criminal defense attorney. Previously I've been a high school science teacher, a park ranger, an intelligence analyst in the Army, a forest service pathology technician, and before that various blue collar construction/utility/heavy equipment jobs. I've been working since I was 15 (they don't have many pesky child labour laws in Alberta where I grew up).
I believe some of that. Pro tip: if you're gonna lie, make it 2/3 true.
I get bored easy. Before I went to law school I never kept the same job for more than a few years. Criminal defense is fun so I've suck with it for the last ten years.
I was on board for the most part until substance abuse/eating disorders. Maybe I’m taking what you said the wrong way.
I think it’s a good idea to not get into a relationship with someone who is addicted to a substance or has a mental disorder IF she is not even trying to recover or get better. But having dated someone with an eating disorder, who was actively recovering, there is no reason to write them off as untrustworthy/not relationship material.
It is not that these women can’t be trusted, it’s the disorder/addiction that can’t be. It becomes an issue when the women (or anyone for that matter) can’t distinguish between the two, or doesn’t even try to do so.
Addiction can destroy otherwise good people. My first wife was an excellent mother, good companion, and hard worker. When she started using all that went out the window (along with most of what we'd worker 17 years to accumulate).
My second wife had a food addiction that put less obvious, but just as real, stress on our relationship.
That’s shitty. I mean it is no doubt an issue, but it is equally possible for a non-addict to do shitty things that put stress on a relationship. Though in the case of addiction it’s much more apparent and more complex in a maladaptive way.
I would say that if both parties aren’t willing to try to gain an understanding of what’s happening/want to take action to help recovery, then definitely don’t bother.
Sorry but I have no faith in the concept of recovery. Very few people ever truly recover.
I deal with addicts on a daily basis at work. The last thing I want to do is deal with one at home.
True. I recovered, for lack of a better term, from excessive drinking/alcohol use disorder and now have zero desire to drink, but I attribute that to the fact I was young when I made the decision to quit among other factors
You agree with the poster that recovering doesn’t exist, then explain how you’ve recovered. Maybe you should change that “true” to “false” OR say that you will never recover.
What does WLS mean?
And taking steroids just to please women is ridiculous. You forgot point 16 which is not being a pussy worshiper.
WLS = weight loss surgery. Best way for us fat asses to get reasonably thin. This morning I was 239 pounds -- that's down from my max of about 320 two years ago.
Whats WLS? I didn't see it in the glossary.
I think the first few points are great; however, the multiple relationship selection constraints would leave one with close to zero prospects. It didn't seem to me like this article was arguing for no relationships, but that's what the math shows.
Point #14 is amazing. The same can apply for men as well.
some really good stuff here.
I've heard this one before but, is it really based on anything? Never got to find sources.
This, this one goes to my gold book.
Oh, that I've learn the hard way :)
Cheers for the post!
OKCupid did a survey were they asked men and women to rate representative set photos of the opposite sex. The men's ratings resulted in a normal distribution (i.e. 50% of women rated above average / 50% below). Women however rated only 20% of the men as above average -- a very skewed (and delusional) result.
Got to six and had to nope out, holy shit.
First of all thanks for this post. As others have mentioned it's always interesting to read something from an experienced guy.
I find point 9 interesting. I know a pair of sisters from an Eastern european country (I'm in northern europe - met them here). One sister is exactly like her mom - the only important thing is to find a rich provider. The other sister is very much like the women in my country (in some regards). She wants to provide for herself, she cares deeply about excelling and spends several hours a day learning my language even if she doesn't have to. She's actually ridiculed by her family for not wanting to find a rich provider.
Most women I meet in my country are like the latter sister. Getting into TRP I actually had trouble recognizing some of the fundamental traits about women that are often mentioned here. When I met the first sister I mentioned I was like "oooh that's what they're talking about". I think being in a country with lots of equality (class-wise) the gold digging isn't as widespread as in poor countries, so that might be why. Awalt still applies of course.
My ex represented herself as being very different from her mother -- until one day she was just like her mother.
Women with strong work ethic... yeah but they are so uncompatible at any type of conversation usually
Funny thing is, if YOU don't so these things yourself, you're a failure.
Failure? How so? My track record of choosing women sucks -- but other than that.
No one's perfect and there are always more successful people out there-- but objectively I'm actually quite successful -- education check -- career check -- children all doing well check ...
I mean that if you don't apply the list you've outlined for women for yourself.
Ex: #13, you yourself have no agency or execution. Where you are constantly waiting for opportunities to fall on your lap.
This doesn't only apply to women, but yourself as well.
Ex: #7, if you don't have goals for yourself.
I just want to add that you don't have to be a narcissist because you're probably confusing narcissism with a healthy focus on your own goals and priorities.
Focusing on yourself, pursuing your own goals, and making decisions that benefit you at someone else's expense (just not drastically so) is not narcissism. It is healthy.
It's just that many men have been raised to be selfless and see any amount of focusing on yourself as being narcissism.
Good advice from a person with life experience, I appreciate that. However, punctuation matters.
Totally agree with the OP on the main points!
Piece of advice on bolstering the narcissism, as it isn’t something you just turn off and on. Some degree of it is self-preservation and natural in everyone (survival drive). Be cautious it doesn’t become malignant (intentional or not, think collateral damage) and damaging to other people, men and women, it can really turn people against you and fuck up kids. Addicts are narcs.
Seems more like FIRM healthy boundaries are really what the OP is going for. Ironically, kids that grow up with a narcissistic parent often don’t learn the boundaries they need to protect themselves, especially when a narcissistic mother keeps overstepping. Gents, for those with sons/stepsons where “mom” is a bit narcy, you help instill those kids with boundaries and that it’s not normal to be jerked around. Tell that bitch “NO!”
Since the westernized women are getting more and more narcissistic, I don’t want to see anything that puts our boys at a disadvantage. Need to say “NO!” Sandman on YouTube had a great vid on this.
Learned or observed? i would think if these were learned in your life then it should apply and be consistent for us men everywhere.
And there is no more relationship material!
deleted What is this?
The juice is not worth the squeeze
Ive never met a woman who didnt think like this though, so...
8 So true. And if a girl has the nerve to tell you she can't do X because of abuse in the past don't even send her a goodbye text.
Women want a man above the MEDIAN. Fuck average. Both sides know there are disgusting humans that should score negative. Those people pulling down the average skew the results and the analysis. If you do more than the bare minimum, you too can be in the "above 80%."
Another thing I've seen too as it relates to external motivations: it also applies to the career driven ones. In many cases they're always feeling sorry for themselves for not being the CEO at 25, and if not that, they're simply emotionally distant and in their own head. From that, I've seen hotties on the fast track dating complete losers or weirdos. I think it all goes back to their lack of self-esteem, which also explains their career-driven delusions.
If she's externally motivated run! All girls are this, sadly.
How come you have such a strong opinion on eating disorders?
My ex was a compulsive overeater (food addict). When I met her it seemed like she had things under control but addictions are insidious and have a habit of popping back up (sometimes in a new guise).
Interesting, overeating does sound like something that would be a red flag to me.
Having a history with anorexia on the other hand sounds like a whole different story to me.
can you please elaborate on point 5.
I've got to say 6 was my case last time. Damn, I wish I knew how stupid it was to make relationships which aren't public. But it's all good since this might only mean she's interested into hopping on someone else's dick afterwards and your relationships are just an episode of her life to her.
tldr stay away from all women lol.
someone has clearly been hurt by 1 too many women
no srsly, no one is perfect. and even if people were people aren't their best 100% of the time, you're going to have to deal with faults and sadness, struggles & challenges with your partner in any serious ltr.
Most people can't handle this so end ltrs and blame the other person, start seeing other people toxicly. This in turn turns them into a toxic person and creates more toxic people.
In reality everything is much more simple than you think, everyone is much more connected than you think, all we do is create illusions for ourselves that make it seem like there are these other beings to exclude based on certain things when in reality 95% of girls are the same.
I thought these 15 things would be about life advice and wisdom, not women and how to find the best ones. In reality women are a very tiny part of a true mans life, I will admit our lust makes it seem otherwise... AND the dream of love or finding a soulmate, someone to just share your life with in general is tempting buts its far more of an illusion we create for ourselves and thinking that we deserve & are meant to have someone The truth is most people are in love with the idea of being in love, the idea of this amazing girl. You don't know shit about her or her life, you haven't experienced life together so how are you really in love after a couple of months?
If our society was different maybe it would be possible... but our society is against connecting with other people deeply. Its against individuality and uniqueness. Its more about generalization, stereotypes, shallowness, superficial things, and viewing the negatives in others, judging them by what we consider their flaws.
This is mostly terrible advice.
Fantastic Post , This all fits with my own personal LTR check list and mirrors all my past experiences a well . Bullets #12 and #13 in particular are my top two at the moment . A woman with no ambition or sense of personal ownership is useless to me at this point . I was with a woman just like this when I first found the sub and over time as I've improved and she stagnated the relationship felt more and more imbalanced. She loved having me, loved that I made her friends jealous, loved that she had a better type of guy but did little in the way of getting better and making me feel like she was a better type of woman . Naturally I got bored , lost interest , and began being approached by more attractive and interesting women and that was the end of everything .
Now I know should I pursue any sort of LTR in the near-future ( doubtful) this is a big personality aspect to keep an eye out for if I'm keeping her for anything past a plate.
Why do you guys analyze sex and relationships so much? It's really as simple as having a conversation (where you actually listen to the person), then ask them if they'd want to get coffee or lunch, if so, good. If not, that's fine too. It's not rocket science.
OP provides detailed advice on how to discriminate between a woman better suited to long-term commitment and a potential life-drainer and you counter by offering the suggestion that men should just take women out for coffee. That's a total non sequitur.
Grabbing coffee is not the same as vetting a person over time to determine if they are worth investing in and staying with for life.
Gonna be honest, didn't read the whole thing. Instead, I think I was just commenting on this over-analytical approach to sex and intimate relationships. It just confuses me to see why people would think that a list of 15 tips and observations is gonna benefit their personal lives in any way. If anything, it's just going to warp peoples sense of reality , and cause them to pursue sexual/intimate relationships with some false narrative and expectations. Ones that are grounded in internet groupthink, rather than real life experience.
I agree that this is a risk, but I think the problem there is more on the reader. And the same guy who is flailing in the real world is going to be no worse off with this list.
If you're smart, you take a few of these lessons, incorporate them into your own system of values and set of observations and hopefully come away with a better tool set.
Real world experience is the best teacher, definitely. But testing out an older, wiser person's observations will help you far more than going out with no theories at all. You just have to be flexible and intelligent enough to adjust these theories along the way.
Again, the responsibility lies with the reader here. These are pretty fair, reasonable observations. If a specific individual takes them too seriously or misapplies them, that's on him.
I don't know, to me OP lost me at "Be a narcisstic gerk"; a guy who is as you say, "flailing", will remain lost if he suddenly becomes blunt and unemotional to seem more manly to the opposite sex. Nobody should abandon their morals and values.
I just feel like posts like this fuel cynicism, many people who will read this post are inexperienced, and regardless of how smart they are, posts like this give them an impression that the world is more grim than it actually is; that you should always err on the side of caution with women and relationships. When really you should do the opposite and embrace your vulnerability, and be fine with "failures." If anything, I'd say it's better to avoid applying theories to your dating and social life.
OP never gave the advice to become "blunt and unemotional." I don't know exactly what OP meant by "narcissistic jerk," but that is one throwaway comment at the very beginning and has very little to do with the rest of the list.
I definitely agree that guys should accept failure as part of the dating process and should go out and learn from experience as much as possible.
However, OP's list includes some really fundamental weaknesses of human female character. Frankly, many of these qualities are just red flags for men as well. We're not talking about ruling out every woman with a tattoo.
Just read through the list. I don't agree with every item, but as someone who has had more experience than the average Redditor (not saying much, but still), many of these observations of potentially unstable women are accurate.
And OP is speaking to a specific audience. This isn't advice for any man who wants to be in any kind of marriage ever. It's for men who want a traditional gender dynamic with a kind, cooperative, nurturing type of wife. Maybe that isn't your cup of tea. In that case, these tips aren't for you.
To be perfectly honest, I think OP's list is clearly influenced by specific experiences he has had. Maybe the dating world isn't quite as grim as he portrays, but I appreciate getting a sense of the worst case scenario and how to avoid it.
If you think The Red Pill could use some more optimistic, positively-oriented advice that still conforms to its principles, I would encourage you to post.
Listening only works if the person you're having a conversation with is telling the truth.
I don't know what you mean by that. But by really listening to someone, often your response is gonna be much more genuine.
He means to say he married someone who cheated on him and now he's convinced all women are the same.
Because most men doing that get rejected about 95% of the time. And even more women fall through in the process of setting up the date, or on the date.
Trying to build up a sex life is a source of misery and frustration for most men.
It's only a source of misery and frustration if you think your lack of success with women proves that your some sort of inferior human being. Which is an idea that's rampant on subs like this.
If you're getting rejected 95% of the time, the answer to your problem isn't going to be found on the internet, especially subs like this one. If you can take time in real life to converse with people (not random people on the street), the more you'll be able to identify what works in conversation and what doesn't. The problem for many men is they don't know how to communicate in a genuine way with people.
Sex is one of the biggest pleasures of life, if not the biggest.
I'd say the problem is that people don't want to communicate with them. A typical woman wants to communicate with a man who is able to advance her social status or is at the top of her wish list for sex, not simply because the man would be "genuine".
It's really not that hard. Just don't be fat and/or ugly.
Because who the fuck goes to the internet for advice on how to fuck women? Nerds and other semi-autistic types.
They're not nerds or semi-autistic, they're just people that are having a tough time because they're over analyzing something very natural. If you can stop analyzing what you look and sound like, and intently listen to another person, and respond with a genuine question or connection. You'll make friends and relationships.
It's 2017 man, everyone goes on the internet for different opinions.
Why are you making fun of people trying to get better at relationships? Is there anything wrong with that?
Edit: ok, you were being sarcastic.
Exactly, I think these dudes are just fat sad basement dwellers mad at women for not wanting to sleep with Losers
Yeah probably. Fuck them for wanting to learn how not to be losers huh?
No fuck them for whining like bitches
Or... you could just say fuck it and turn MGTOW. Pump and dump but never commit to any woman. Self-improve to the extent you think is enough.
With this sub going dramatically downhill this is some of the best shit ever posted.
You're in a sub who's aim is an amoral sexual strategy and this is the question you ask ?
Is this man damaged too?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhwpqJDi0fo&app=desktop
Someone explain
If her mother is an objectionable person run. If her mother is a dishonest, grasping, materialistic objectionable person run faster. We all know where this item is going.
What if the girl is the polar opposite of her mother ?
I truly thought my ex was the polar opposite of her mother. She wasn't -- just very good at deception (including deluding herself).
Never trust in words, trust in actions... sometimes don't trust in your own words, it's easy to speak, we are what we do, action, action, action. Observe what other people do, not what they say.
That is life coach material in a nutshell.....pay attention men
Everyone is attracted to confidence and if you are confident enough you can do anything, including (dare I say it) - make time for and care about others.
I get the sense that self-doubt is the baseline here, thus how all advice is framed explicitly around boosting your own power in a relationship. Of course power dynamics are present everywhere but again the most powerful attribute is confidence.
I personally am secure enough that I am not attracted to a woman who doesn't admire an empathetic man.
what are these terms ?
HB7
CC
LTR
WLS
Lost me a couple times before I got to #12. Lies and bullshit. Well educated? Do you want to marry an "educated" civil servant or WORKER? That is disgusting. My family ran an empire that started from a man who had 8th grade education, and a "well-educated" high school grad woman. You are not red pilled if you have a woman that works. She's independent in nature if so. Lame. Some of us believe in other things that college and universities just can't & don't teach, and they are well-known libbie lovies. Shit post.
Pro tip: Both you and your spouse should both be not college educated. Meaning, don't mess with universities, and if she does have a college education, remember: you will be judged just as you have judged others. You will be told at the gates of heaven you are not worthy as you have a college education or lack-off. Jesus is real.
Obviously we have different outlooks on the world -- which is totally OK as it would be pretty damn boring if we were all the same. I have three degrees (including a doctorate). My father was a University math professor who helped program the computers on the Apollo 11 Lunar Landing Module. Most of my family has been educated going back generations and its served us well.
And, yes, I try to only date educated women. Personally I'm bored if my companion isn't well educated.
Another fellow. My father designed a major system on the 747.
I also have 3 degrees, my wife has several. I have no idea what that guy was talking about. This current generation is 98% shit.
Anyway, good post.
LOL. See, this is the thing.
-Alpha male -desk job
Pick one. My dad was a Marine, his parents both Sailors, and we've fought every generation into a war, Revolutionary and Civil, and then fought back in the homelands, so to speak. Warriors. You're trying to take the spot of alpha to supreme leaders and REAL WARRIORS to a guy with a desk job that can be canceled any moment. My dad was just a HS jock, 3/4 years state champion as notorious footballer, then Marine, then football coach, and now works labor in a plant as a mechanic of sorts. All of those meanie, bully football jocks in school? Yeah, they were terrified of my dad. He's almost 50 but I bet he could still pass a Marine test if given to him. You know who he married? A woman who did not graduate from her private school days. Big whip. Housewives do not need a degree, homo.
I agree with your points but you should show respect to other members.
What about people in the military who go into desk jobs, like investment banking, after serving their time? Do they lose their alphaness? Come on, alpha goes beyond brute strenth and fighting ability. I agree though with being tough tho, respect to your family for their service but that's a narrow definition of alpha.
@FreeMuhMyind stop smoking herbs!
I only smoke tobacco, the legal kind. The ultimate red pill is that there really is no ideal woman for every man, depending on lifestyles and whatnot. To me, the ideal woman is a clean cut housewife, but that does not include a university intelligence, as most of them tend to always be "awkward", and you want a house warmer and entertainer for when needed.
I don't understand why people don't read the tutorials... I suggest you to read the tutorials.
False Dichotomy. Physical Attractiveness can trump a lot of other factors when it comes to attraction. That doesn't mean there's a reason to forego getting a girl flowers.
Of course most women aren't going to respond to a "sick fat" dude with roses just like they wouldn't probably respond to them due to anything ever. If your repulsive no gesture is going to change that. Likewise, if you have your shit together, you don't need the flowers, but it is just a nice thing to do. If you are in the right frame and look good it's probably going to have about zero impact on anything if you make a romantic gesture or not.
All the post is around "relationship material" , thats a red flag for me , downvoted not a pure RP post .
Guess I'm not pure RP then. Speaking just for myself I actually do enjoy female companionship. I'm not willing to just go my own way and one night stands only go so far (not that I won't engage in them when the opportunity presents). My goal is to find a woman I can have a reciprocal mutually beneficial LTR with. To that end I've been examining myself, my past behaviors, and the type of women I've been involved with -- and making changes as needed. I fully understand that my goals are not the same as those of many guys here -- I'm fine with that.
No one mentioned one night stands . The problem in your op is much deeper .
TRP and LTR's are not incompatible. Read the sidebar material again - with particular attention to Rollo Tomassi's Rational Male blog.