The Book of Jophil

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November 13, 2017

Summary: Back a few years ago when I was first learning a lot of TRP and manosphere stuff, one of my biggest influences and someone I learned much from was a poster on SoSuave called Jophil. He was an older gentleman, in his 40’s or 50’s I think, from Australia, who sadly passed away a few years ago. His messages about dealing with disrespect from women, having boundaries, and holding frame are formative to my approach today … and a lot of the responses I write here are based on his and others golden advice I learned all those years ago.

I’ve assembled some of my favorite passages and writings of his into this “book”, before all of it is lost to the passage of time. Hopefully, you can take and learn from it as well.

Note: Below are just snippets from each post, but just in case the links should ever disappear or stop working at some point in the future, I’ve put the full posts here: The Book of Jophil



  • Being a Man with Boundaries -
    • If you have time, read the entire thread, it’s a lot of gold, with comments from Rollo, Warrior74, Sinistar, and some of the other old legends in the Manosphere.
    • -
    • I do not believe that I have a bigger set of "balls" than any of you guys. What I do have is a self-crafted set of rules and guidelines to apply to disrespectful situations with women. And I am willing to use them, sometimes ruthlessly if the situation warrants it. Curiously, as much as I disagree with a lot of STR8up's stuff, his "walk away" strategy made sense with me after I got past the belief that "walking away" was a kind of surrender, or admission of defeat. I now embrace the power of silence and the power of just walking away from a woman who is acting poorly.



  • Disrespect, Walking Away, and the Power of Silence -
    • This is actually a response to Jophil by another poster, but too much golden wisdom not to share
    • -
    • Many women are blind to their own behaviour it seems. Until you point it out in a language they understand. That language is silence. And silent withdrawal of the one thing they thrive on: affection … Just walk away. It's the loudest way to say: F!ck you, childish creature, without actually saying it.


  • Commitment-Phobic Girls -
    • There are women out there who "talk" commitment but continuously sabotage their intimate relationships when it DEMANDS something of them. I do not call it commitment phobic as such it is more than that. These women are so damaged that they are unfit for an adult relationship. They "compartmentalize" their relationships with everyone. These women want, and expect, all the fun and rewards of a relationship with a man BUT they are NEVER willing to contribute anything in return. They want the involvement from a man. but they want to live the single life and DO AS THEY PLEASE.


  • You’re Just the Latest Leading Man in the Latest Remake of Her Life Movie -
    • Sandow, I believe that we men need to go thought at least one of these experiences with an uber hottie to realize how fragile and superficial they are. They have been worshipped and fawned over their whole lives because of their looks and sexual desirability. That becomes their intrinsic value. Their existence comprises a series of 'buzz experiences', one after the other, with men who treat them like the glittering prizes that they believe that they are. You are the latest leading man in the latest remake of her life movie.



  • Flaky WomenPart 1Part 2Part 3
    • Women who flake (without a credible apology PLUS a counter offer) are of the mindset that holds this belief: "I am a woman and that entitles me to act in any way I please. I have that golden pvssy that all men want and that gives me the power, and a license, to do whatever I want whenever I want without being held accountable." The best method to counter this crap is to act as if her behavior is IRRELEVANT to you. Do not call her on it, or get angry. Do not email, text or call her for an explanation. Act as if she does not exist and move on QUICKLY. Remember this - if you ever confront a flakey woman on her bad behavior, she will immediately shift blame in her mind onto you for making her feel "bad" by calling her on it.


  • Flaking – Low Interest or Low Quality Girl?
    • The assumption on this board is that women mindfvck you or flake because of their low IL. I believe that this assumption is more a projection on our part rather that a legitimate explanation ... My own experience is that women's bad behavior is habitual rather than circumstantial. In other words, a flakey woman is doing "her thing". I grant you that she is more LIKELY to flake if her IL is low but it is a contributing factor rather that a clear cause. Low IL motivates a badly behaved woman to act worse. It does NOT cause a good woman to act badly. "Flaking" goes to low character or her habitual MO, rather than a clear indicator of her IL in you.



  • Dating Women Just out of an LTR -
    • When a woman breaks up, she tends to quickly retreat into the safety of her relationships with her children, sisters, girlfriends, mother, work pals and so on. Women do not tend to seek a replacement MAN in the same way that we go hunting for a replacement woman. Women typically enter an ego restoration phase in which they hide from men initially and then seek shallow dating experiences which are used to give them EGO REPAIR, superficial play and fun which affirm that they still are marketable - "they still GOT it". This period is a danger zone for men in your position. Beware!! You will get some initial hot sex (it makes HER feel desirable) and then you will start to get the flaky behavior and the 'to and fro' games and all the BS that only emotional unstable women can create.


  • Screening Women … aka “Spinning Plates” Does not Solve All Problems -
    • "Spinning other plates" is limited in its effectiveness. It MIGHT save you from getting oneitis for a low quality woman, but it won't help much if you are actively seeking a good woman for an LTR.
    • -
    • Response from Mr. Me: I'd also look at why you're getting hurt... you're either pushing the woman (since you develop feelings so quickly) and she gets turned off and dumps you, and you get hurt, or you're getting involved with the wrong women: Women who aren't that interested and/or are using you or have a less then loving disposition or have issues or major character flaws. But when you're getting hurt, it does mean you're doing something wrong.



  • Frame Grabs and How to RespondPart 1Part 2
    • This is a power grab by her in which she is trying to set up control of the velocity and direction. The fact that she is already trying to take charge is not a good sign. She is declaring her own favorite tactic – power and control. A less aware man would just go along with this and conclude that she is just a little gun-shy. Don't fall into that thinking - she is trying to set the frame. The way to weaken, or dismantle this tactic is to just shrug and ignore her resistance or walk away.


As Jophil would say: Good Hunting

Post Information
Title The Book of Jophil
Author CopperFox3c
Upvotes 711
Comments 64
Date 13 November 2017 06:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
Rolloflakeframelong term relationshipplatethe red pillmanospherefeminism

[–]Boshackalaka81 points82 points  (5 children) | Copy

Most people have kids so something from them stays after they die.

I think the best way to stay alive after you die is through your ideas. As long as your ideas affect one person positively you are still alive.

That's why the best way to honor someone is to remember them and spread their ideas.

Good effort on the compilation and revival of good content.

[–]AmbaChador2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Indeed! I just discovered Patrice's Radio show, The Black Phillip Show, and shortly after discovered that Patrice O'neal died on November 2011. Listening to his show and his appearances on O&A makes me sad and glad at the same time that I found a gem. I also noticed that there's a lot of Patrice's advice and thoughts on YouTube that he shared over his lifetime. It's almost like a massive database of his thoughts compiled into a platform. Made me miss that goofy ass dude even though I'm a new fan of his.

[–]1GreenPiller1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Heath Ledger once said that he didn't care about death because he felt his daughter was part of him. Makes me wonder what having a kid is like.

[–]uebermacht4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

- Especially musicians, they live through there music forever because people will keep listen them, Beethoven, Michael Jackson.
- Scientists and inventors like Archimedes or Nicola Tesla.
- Society reformers; Che Guevera or Martin Luther. ... and so on and so forth.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus spoke of this in parables.

[–]CheetoHead696946 points47 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've found that when you're in a really nasty, emotional argument with a woman, truly the best thing to do is to physically leave the argument, go radio silent, and come back in a few hours/days. You can't argue with emotions. Emotions are like fires you can't put out, you can only add fuel to them, or let them burn out. Once you've left and a reasonable woman has no one to focus their emotions at, they will calm down and eventually (hopefully) self-reflect. They'll realize they were being unreasonable and shitty to you (if you have a good woman and you didn't lose your temper).

And once she calms down, and you've given her time to realize what a bitch she was, the waterworks, and the I love yous, and the I'm so sorrys will fly. At this point, you forgive her, but you do not excuse her. Let her know you forgive her, but acknowledge she was shitty and make her own up to it. If your frame is strong and you do this THE VERY FIRST TIME, you will have success in your relationships, and more than likely she will very rarely get in arguments with you.

[–]Shaman66245 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've found exactly the same through trial and error.

[–]Rian_Stone67 points68 points  (5 children) | Copy

OOH! I love me some new resources.

Thanks, time for some more light reading!

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c[S] 23 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, some great threads in there, lot of old wisdom, from a lot of experienced dudes. Also fascinating when /u/Rollo-Tomassi and Jophil start debating.

Let me know what you think.

[–]Rian_Stone11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

So basically what PPD pretends to do? Can't wait

[–]ThrowFader4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat52 points53 points  (13 children) | Copy

The gold of old! Awesome. I need to browse sosuave.

Third one:

Had I lashed out at her, she would have found her crappy behaviour justified, because she'd think: Look how he's treating me now!

Many women are blind to their own behaviour it seems. It's a sort of Recursive Principle: they will find a justification for their earlier behaviour in the rebuke you give them about it afterwards. Because their ego's get hurt by your reprimand. And many women cannot see past their ego's. It's an emotional thing, after all, not something rational. If a man were to show such behaviour, we call him childish and inmature. Especially women would. But for a woman, it's alright to do this somehow.

Give this guy a Nobel. Such a basic observation, been in that situation so many times.. how come I never saw that?

[–]3whatsthisgarg21 points22 points  (8 children) | Copy

Many women are blind to their own behaviour it seems. Until you point it out in a language they understand. That language is silence. And silent withdrawal of the one thing they thrive on: affection …

It really is this simple; half of my posts are on this theme.

And yet, there are still lots of guys who read this and still think they can talk to a woman about her bad behavior. Literally imagining themselves saying shit like that was disrespectful, I won't tolerate that blah blah.

Let me translate that: these guys are conveying the message I am a man who does not deserve respect. What's worse is she already knew that, but now it is confirmed.

[–]Rian_Stone10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or, she didn't, but you offered it to absolve her of her own shitty behaviour.

And she will take it.

[–]Shaman66242 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

No you can't argue with someone to adjust their behaviour but was I always do is first communicate that she's acting like a retard and that I'm not going to waste my time on her bullshit in exactly those words. And then leave. When she comes around she will admit to being childish etc.

I think that women can bypass their ego but not in an emotional moment. Hell, even for a man if he gets angry it's sometimes difficult to see the bigger picture. So you just got to give her something to think about and then leave.

[–]3whatsthisgarg3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

No you can't argue with someone to adjust their behaviour but was I always do is first communicate that she's acting like a retard and that I'm not going to waste my time on her bullshit in exactly those words. And then leave.

That was pretty much my take in those posts I made, except I prefer to communicate with a simple dirty look; she's not an idiot, she knows what the issue is.

But definitely if there isn't immediate correction, she is rewarded with the lack of my presence and attention.

Really, if it required any more effort it wouldn't be worth it.

[–]recursoinominado1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Let's say I do withdraw affection but she didn't get the message? I mean, in my experience, if I do this, they are simply oblivious to her foulty behavior and don't understand the meaning of my silence. What to do?

[–]3whatsthisgarg3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let's say I do withdraw affection but she didn't get the message? I mean, in my experience, if I do this, they are simply oblivious to her foulty behavior and don't understand the meaning of my silence. What to do?

Find another woman.

Or, if there are any benefits to having her around, just take what you want.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah think this is one of the all-time best posts I've come across in the Manosphere or TRP. Just so so on point ... like a million little light bulbs going off.

[–]ThrowFader4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]copperie19792 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. I'm married 12 years and I can attest to exactly this. If you argue and lose your temper you've given her justification for her crappy behavior. I learned this early. When I first realized what was happening, I played her this song by the White Stripes!

[–]nicolauz9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man I've got some good articles to read. Dealt with quite a few women that play a lot of these games the last year or so.

[–]TheRationalMale.comRollo-Tomassi14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jophil was a good dude. We'd lock horns from time to time, but we were pretty good friends before he died.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey Rollo, yeah I remember your guys' debates back then. I learned a lot from them. Respect.

IMO, that era when you, Jophil, Vulpine, Str8up, Colossus, AtomSmasher, Sinistar, Interceptor, Senor Fingers, Desdinova, Westcoaster, Squirrels, Danger, Joekerr, and probably dozens of others I am forgetting were all hashing things out on SoSauve circa 2007-2010 was one of the Golden Eras of the Manosphere.

I think one of the biggest things we've lost over the last century is the passing down of wisdom from one generation of men to the next. Just trying to preserve some of that wisdom.

[–]Mikewashere_6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dat formatting tho!!! Swoon.

[–]Wheysteve8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's all about The book of Pook! But this is great. Much appreciated new info!

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously a huge fan of Pook myself, and recommend his "book" all the time. Just adding to the corpus ...

[–]1roadmaptonowhere1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pook was such a mysterious wise man. It would be great if he did a comeback.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil13 points14 points  (5 children) | Copy

The demographics of SoSuave seem to be different then ours. It feels like most of the men are 25+. Furthermore it feels by the writing style that more of the dudes are Anglos.

Our men 18-23 year old men are usually in the midst of their formative masculinity crisis and figuring out their identity. SoSuave seems to be more about creating a dating methodology.

Also interesting is that in 2011 the smartphone tinder revolution hadn't happened yet and niether did the 2013 SJW triggered revolution. 2011 doesn't seem like that long ago but with regard to big city dating culture it definitely is.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Sosuave (at least back 2007-2011 when Jophil was around) had separate forums for General Discussion, High Schoolers, and "Mature Men". Jophil often posted on the Mature Men forum so yeah a lot of them were 25+.

You're right, the world has definitely changed. I think what's interesting though is how many of the same principles still persist.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Taking my analysis further. 25+ year olds on SoSauve circa 2007-2011 is much more heavily comprised of Anglos the Red Pill. Functionally what this means is that SoSuave was probably more individualistic and formulaic then Red Pill is today.

Anglo thinking: If she does X you do Y.

Slav thinking: she does X you respond with some combination of drunk driving Adidas dianabol hard bass and ethnonationalism

Jew thinking: Argue about the meaning of X and Y without coming to a definetive conclusion.

Latino: She does X you then proceed to have a heated telenovela exchange followed by makeup sex resulting in quatro ninos.

Asian: she gets mad at you becomes passive agressive, you guilt her with wierd Asian values calling her imprudent hasty and self centered.

[–]Scott_Jordan 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Thank you for sharing.

Are there any such no-bullshit forums still around, that you know of? I am looking for a place/platform/forum to compare notes with like-minded mature men (in addition to TRP).

[–]uebermacht1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Society shifts but humans keeps the same.

[–]Scheme005 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saved this post, thank you so much for these. One of them hit a nerve personally and helped give more clarity to my situation.

[–]p3n1x5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Endlessly writing protests on this forum will not reset the imbalace of power. Ranting about women and their selfishness will not alter it. "Reasoning" with a woman will rarely achieve much. Launching an evangelical crusade by preaching to other men will fail because they are more confused, whipped and buried in the Matrix than you are." -Jophil .. man that resonates.

[–]JustForTRP3 points4 points  (19 children) | Copy

flake women

What about girls who u ask out and they say "let me think about it first and get back to you in a couple days"

Isnt that clear disrespect, disimterest, and disvaluing of ur time?

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c[S] 12 points13 points  (10 children) | Copy

Obviously I can't speak for Jophil, but at the time (circa 2008/2009), there was a huge debate going in the Manosphere about whether you should A) call a girl out on her behavior, or B) just ignore and walk away. Jophil preferred the latter.

It is not about what women do, but how you respond to it.

What was great was the way he applied this in practice ... the moment a woman even started to try to pull shit, he pulled the rug out from under them like an icewater-in-his-veins assassin. Go read the first thread (Being a man with Boundaries) for several examples of this.

[–]JustForTRP1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

but this isnt a boundry, this is a pseudo flake.

"Hey u wanna go out on friday?"

"Mmm... LEmme think about it - ill tell you by thursday, teehee"

tell them to fuck themselves

[–]1empatheticapathetic6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she doesn't tell you there and then, the answer is presumed no.

If by thursday she magically has time for you, you should already have plans.

Childish i know but hey, this is what they live for.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the only way to handle it. Silence and if you dont hear from her til Thursday, you already have plans when you do. then you wait for her to suggest a new date. if she doesnt, next.

[–]TurningRed540 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"Hey u wanna go out on friday?"

Isn't that kind of the wrong approach anyway? Seems open for bullshit replies. Wouldn't it be better to go along the lines of "Hey I'm going to do X on Friday, want to come with?"

[–]JustForTRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

same shit applies.

"maybe lemme think about it"

[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

tell them to fuck themselves

Blue Pill princess response. You let her make the choice, you failed to be a leader.

this is a pseudo flake.

So what.

[–]JustForTRP-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

no nigga you're dumb.

Same thing for.

"Hey. Im heading to starbucks. Meet me there, lets chat for a little"

"Mmm... lemme think about it, i'll tell ya later"


[–]p3n1x0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

One is telling her, one is asking her.

That makes them different, sugar plum.

[–]JustForTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Different means to the same end

[–]1SirKolbath0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

flake women

What about girls who u ask out and they say "let me think about it first and get back to you in a couple days"

Isnt that clear disrespect, disimterest, and disvaluing of ur time?

As the post said, that is indicative of low value women, as well as a low interest in your SMV. It's a combination of both.

[–]JustForTRP0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

how is that low value women. it should only mean the women doesnt like you.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorCopperFox3c[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with /u/SirKolbath 's response. It's a combination of factors. There are low-quality women in this world who will act like shit-heads no matter what you do.

While as a man you should figure out how to improve yourself, it's important to hold women accountable too.

[–]1SirKolbath0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

A woman who is prone to flaking is not high value. There are two factors in play. One is your value. One is hers.

[–]JustForTRP-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy


High society 9/10 model bombshell friends with executives and photographers decides to flake on you - how is that low value.

[–]1SirKolbath0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


High society 9/10 model bombshell friends with executives and photographers decides to flake on you - how is that low value.

Because she's the type of person to flake after she's made a commitment. Physical attractiveness is only one part of the coin.

[–]p3n1x-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Isnt that clear disrespect..

How did you earn any respect to be disrespected in the first place? Is it possible that your personality made her respond to you in that manner. (as in you think you are important and she doesn't)

Being "disrespected" is very subjective, it is a choice, not a logical progression. If you have to ask someone if you have been disrespected (or what is disrespectful in general), then you have other area's of your life work on first.

What if it is disrespect? WTF are you going to do about it? (you never even went on a date) If you don't like her response, move on. Anything beyond moving on is a guy being an Average Frustrated Chump.

[–]5kevin3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is exactly what i needed today. Thank you.

[–]Freedomoverbitches5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just finished reading book compilation of Jophil - Very insightful information here and another reminder to keep us going. Thanks for sharing.

[–]shaggyctes883 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If this reddit were to be shut down by the gender police I would grab this post and much wisdom in this. Jophil lives on thanks to you man

[–]BlueFreedom4201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Progressivism has to be forced down the throats of school kids because no one cares to teach it without a captive audience.

This is why TRP will survive. Thank you for bringing this to us.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for sharing, it's very good

[–]RedPillHanSolo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks, OP. Is there some kind of "best-of" archive of sosuave's ECs' posts?

[–]uebermacht2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Austiny11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is amazing exactly what I needed

[–]Parvenu760 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are appreciated for posting this. The full threads definitely provide the necessary context, beyond sound bites. Only gone through one of the threads so far, but any man who has been impacted by a woman with BPD in his life can benefit from learning from others who have suffered the rite of passage on that path.

With his life being cut short, this post was an important reminder to me TO CONTRIBUTE, because you never know when your day is up.

For those interested in learning more about kidney disease, there is some good information here:

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good material..but what is with this bs theory about needing closure and not being able to Move on?

Closure is a thing girls care about, for me if someone wants out of my life I do not need any explanation at all..simply pack your shit and leave. I do not even want to know why someone cheated / left / whatever.

Are all men pussy today??

[–]Lockman11-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ok Alphas we all know the alpha beta dynamic that are applied to wolfs are big misconception of pop culture science. However, you know whats not the forest stand dynamics of silviculture. In this discipline of science dominate trees are the biggest strongest trees in the stands clearly the alphas and the suppressed trees are the smallest and weakest of the stand the betas. Thus Alphas abandon this out dated philosophy of alpha wolves and join me in the future of arboreal alphas. #BETHEALPHATREE

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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