So last friday night I get a message from my ex wife, she says "Can we do dinner sometime, I have some things I need to discuss with you."
I had a bit of a knot in my stomach, for some reason I thought maybe she had seen my post, knowing that I had used to visit this sub, but that was not it.
So we meet up, order food, she has a glass of wine, takes my hand, tells me her therapist and her had a breakthrough, she tells me that she brought me to a public place so that we can both just be "honest" with no fear of "anything" and she kept reiterating that, like "Just so that we don't have to worry about Anything... ok?" So I was thinking she wanted to get back together or something, just by how strange she was acting, like she expected me to hear her say "I want us back together!" and I'd throw my glass of water and scream at her? I have no idea at the time, now I do...
So she tells me the typical "I want you to know that I did enjoy our time together, you provided a father to my children, you raised them as if they were your own, you sacrificed for them, and they turned out wonderful, and for that I'm eternally grateful!"
She then pauses and says "I need to come clean with you, I've been lying to your face for a long time."
I say "Ok, honey, no matter what it is, I'm past it, it's ok, you don't have to hurt anymore, just say what you need to and we'll enjoy our lunch."
She starts crying, at first just a bit, then it turns into a full on breakdown. She's holding my hand, rubbing my finger, and just staring at my hands, her lip trembling, tears running all over the place.
I tell her to take her time, I'm starting to get really curious about what is going on, I'm REALLY starting to suspect she's about to ask me back now.
Suddenly she says "I was never there for you, and I want you to know why, Bob, and I never stopped seeing each other." Bob is our kids biological father, who has managed to remain a low life jobless alcoholic for the past 18 or so years.
I freeze in place, I feel the sensation of time slowing down, like is described in movies etc, it feels like a knife is being shoved into my back.
I feel like I'm going to vomit, but my brain jumps to her defense, "You mean you were still in love with him right you weren't actually together right?"
"No, I'm so sorry, I'm so so so sorry."
I go out and sit in my car, just staring at my steering wheel, my hands are shaking.
She eventually comes outside and taps on my passenger window, I let her get in, she has regained her composure, I think that just telling me was the hardest part for her.
She informs me that she was still having sex with Bob as early as 6 months after we got married, that he would just show up on her lunch breaks, or after work, and they'd go get a motel, or go to his place.
She says she was "lost" and that looking back it was all a " mistake" and that she now realizes she killed our sex life, not me. She tells me that the reason she went back to Bob, after me pressing her, was because I was "Too good" for her, and that she never thought I actually loved her.
I asked her what part of me taking on her kids, her, and her responsibilities made it seem like I didn't love her. Shes says "I don't know."
I asked her if she was still with and seeing Bob, she said yes, I asked her if they had been sleeping together regularly over the years. She said yes.
She then asked me how many times I had cheated on her. "none." She sort of scoff / giggles "What...?"
"I never cheated, I was honest when I married you."
She seemed more surprised that I hadn't cheated on her, than that I was reduced to a man child in just 30 minutes of her being honest. I eventually told her to get the hell out of my car and to never contact me again.
I am going to see my therapist this evening. The one situation I had NEVER thought she was even physically capable of doing she apparently was doing, for 20 years, on a weekly basis.
By my math her ex husband had sex with my wife 48 times a year, for 20 years, while I got told to be patient.
I told her if she get's in an accident and needs help to just pull the plug, that I'd jump in a volcano before ever helping her again with ANYTHING, she looked at me as if I had betrayed her.
So now I'm back to being 12 again and wondering if anything I know is real. I just can't understand how she can be that way, hide it all these years so well, act like I'm the bad guy, then it turns out she was cheating on me all along, this whole time.
On top of that, my new HL GF, that seems awesome, when I told her about all of this, she informs me that she also has a proclivity for finding random men from time to time and that "it's just sex!" and now I don't find her attractive anymore either. Goddamnit.
I'm sorry if this has been posted here before but this is just breathtaking. I feel for that man. So often deadbedrooms aren't because sex isn't occurring at all, it's because it has been transferred to a different bedroom and you're being cucked! And this is what a guy gets for "being a real man" and taking in someones children as their own. Sometimes it's like women cannot handle honour and virtuous qualities, it just makes them straight act out and find the closest scumbag lowlife to cuckold you with.
Sort by TOP/YEAR to find the post- "Had dinner with ex-wife friday..", I don't want to link to it and get messenger bots scuttling.