The fundamental difference between male and female sexuality is this. The only difference between a "chad" and an incel, technically, is that ones desire validates the female in her wants/needs to be pursued while the other invalidates her and her status. Being desired by an ugly man, is basically the same as being undesirable, whereas an attractive mans desire of her will make her feel desirable (remember he could have pursued other women) but CHOSE her and thus validates and turns her on.
This is why you will never see women en masse approaching men or chasing after men - even the hot men. Because visual stimuli of a man is not enough, whereas for most men, the stimuli of beautiful women is all we need to be 'ready to go'. The man must first fit into the criteria of males she sees as high quality and then those males must pursue her and turn her on by making her feel desired.
EDIT: Just to add. You are basically the same as a nice purse to her. Men compete with other men by pursuing the same woman and 'winning' by being 'selected' by this woman. Women compete with other women by noting how many high quality males pursue one versus another and thus having the ability to select a better male than other women = winning.
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