The original post is at the top of the dating advice sub right now.
I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect example of how a nice guy thinks and how little he understands women.
The date started out well enough for him from the sound of things. They're out getting drinks, she's flirting with him, and when he suggests dropping off his car so that they can drink more she asks to leave her jacket and purse at his place. He gets excited because in his mind it means she's going to spend the night with him. Sounds like everything is going swimmingly. Annnnnd then his blue-pill tendencies kick in and he drops this bomb:
"In an effort to try to feel the situation out (and also an effort to be a decent human being) I told her that if she needed a place to crash, she could sleep at my place without me trying to have sex with her."
So much respect. She must be dripping wet with all the respect he's showing her. What a great guy, right?
He continues on:
"She thanked me and said her legs weren't shaved so it wasn't going to happen anyways and I explained to her that I don't sleep with people for the first time when they are drunk anyways."
Totally understandable. A woman isn't just going to go out of her way and shave her legs before a night out drinking with a new guy. And what kind of monster would have some drinks with a woman then expect to possibly have sex at the end of the night? Only sexual predators, of course.
At least this guy's the life of the party though. Maybe his fun personality will make up for his niceness.
"We had a drink, got in the uber and started making our way downtown. (insert piano music here) Here is where things start to go downhill. I HATE busy bars and clubs. My idea of a good time is drinking a couple bottles of wine at home with a friend or two. Clubs are just loud. You can't talk to anyone and you can't do anything other than having strangers sweat all over you. I didn't tell her this of-course because she loved bars packed with people."
Ok, maybe not...
"As she drank more, she began spending more and more time on her snapchat. This is another thing that bothers me. A few snaps would have been fine but it quickly became a constant thing. And they weren't snaps of us, they were just snaps of her."
As if that wasn't enough to tip this guy off, here's the best part:
"At this point we were only half way through our scheduled bars for the night so after what felt like hours I asked her if she was ready for the next bar but she said she wanted to stay at that club for the rest of the night but I was free to leave and meet up with her again later. She was my date for the night, so of course I opted to not split up. I probably should have though because before long this big guy with a square head walked up to me and asked if she was my girlfriend. I foolishly said 'no' and he proceeded to grab her by the waist and began grinding on her. She was totally into it. So at this point, I didn't want to be the jealous date that breaks it up and I sure as hell couldn't dance with her from the front anymore so I just stood there, dumbstruck, and watched them 'dance'. I swayed back and forth with the music so as to not be the only person standing still on the dance floor."
Not only does he stay when she's already told him to leave in a nice way, he awkwardly "dances" while his date is grinding up on Chad. But that's ok... He puts up with it because he doesn't want to look jealous. That is, until another guy comes up and reminds him of what's taking place right in-front of him:
"I couldn't tell if she liked it or not. A guy came up next to me and asked 'isn't that your girl?'. This snapped me out of my panicked trance and pushed me into action. I put an arm around her waist and locked eyes with squarehead. He backed down and quickly disappeared into the crowd. She seemed disappointed but, to be completely honest, I don't know how she felt about the situation."
It's always a good idea to make sure other guys know she's yours, especially on a first date. Obviously she'll be all over him and eager to make sweet tender love after that display of bravery.
"We danced for a while then left because it was bar close. We silently rode an Uber back to my place at which point she informed me that her roommate had called her another Uber to get home. She took her stuff, said she had a lot of fun, then left. I sat on the couch and had another drink, emotionally exhausted"
Alright, alright, in all seriousness. This is a bummer for the guy, and he made a lot of mistakes. He didn't treat her like a lover; he took sex off the table when she was clearly a little into him because he wanted to look like he respected her; he stayed at the club when she tried to get rid of him; he stood by while she was grinding up on another guy right in-front of him; and he got jealous and claimed her as his own when he sensed the date slipping away. A lot of guys have had moments like this. The movies tells us this is how we should act if we want to get the girl, but as we all know, life isn't a movie. At least this guy learned a valuable lesson, right?
...
"I don't know what lesson to take from this or how to enterpret the meaning of it but I thought I would get it off of my chest and share it with you guys. I hope I don't come across as too negative or entitled. Thanks for reading this huge mess."
God damnit.
"you can sleep at my place and I wont try to have sex with you"
Fucking dying.
I did this to a girl I liked from uni. Safe to say she's not interested anymore.
You live and learn aye
It's not merely that she "likes you less". It's that you strip her of her primary need (a need far above sex for her), that is: dissimulation.
Sex is "implied", and if you make it any more explicit than "implied" you'll take away from her the possibility to lie to herself (and having it "happen" later, of course not because she "wanted it").
This is the main dealbreaker, even more than she really liking you less. Females have hypocrisy and self-deception as their core mental need, and basically, if you mention something they want, they then gotta show they don't want it any more, and showing this will take priority over getting it (even if they still want it).
whew.
So in my case where I told her I didn't want sex and then when her friends asked me if we slept together and I said I didn't want to I actually made her not want it as a means to not face rejection and because I took away her ability to lie to herself?
Does that mean saying you're not interested in sex is the biggest pussy dryer out?
That's a big fat Yes. Asking this means you should read (reread?) the Book of Pook.
It took me far too long to get that women are attracted to masculinity. In retrospect it's pretty damn obvious, but I was so mired in the blue pill equality thinking that I didn't understand why they weren't attracted.
My virgin oneitis told me she wanted me to fuck her (I was also a virgin secretly). I said there's no rush :) and she lost it to another guy the same night.
Fuck, hit me right in the feels. Sorry bro
That's one way to get instantly red-pilled!
Ouch. Just goes to show... sex doesn't mean anything. Not to the modern girl. Had an ex tell me that when she decided she wanted to lose it to a guy (she had dated girls before apparently) some 35 yo dude at the bonfire party banged her 15 year old morbidly obese pussy. Food for thought. It just doesn't mean shit to anyone anymore. Enjoy the decline.
In one hand, that's terrible, traumatic and I guess you remember every day.
On the other hand, what a whore, you probably are better without her.
Damn. At least you'll never make the same mistake again...
Ouch! Must have fucking killed you at the time!
I came so close to that happening. Fortunately the other guy literally was so small in the trousers she kept it and we got back together. Then I took her virginity and she took mine.
Well, the point is: the less is said, the easier rationalization and whatever shield for her pride or else is for her.
Ideally, you don't say "I want sex now" and you don't say "I don't want sex now". They will also do anything they can to say neither.
I mean, man, I have been witness to unthinkable pussy-drying (as you call it) just for telling her "you are horny" (which I mistakenly believed was funny).
So the best guideline is: don't make her need to say anything on the subject, and say nothing yourself. Then manoeuvre your way to sex, and if she likes you and you don't make tactical mistakes, you'll probably have sex.
Yeah it's kind of a golden rule that you don't explicitly talk about sex with a woman you haven't yet had sex with. If she brings it up then you have a pretty solid shot, even if she says something like "we're not having sex tonight" or "I never hook up with guys on the first date" if she says something like that she's thinking about having sex with you and if you just brush it off and continue to physically escalate, and she doesn't push back, it will usually happen. I've had that come up a few times, I've also had dates where neither of us said anything about sex until we were in bed naked together. It's implied that if the date goes well and she comes back to your place you are going to have sex, just have to keep the sexual tension going and not fuck up. It seems ridiculous but it's just how women work, they don't want to feel like a slut so not explicitly saying it makes it easy for them to rationalize that "we really clicked on the first date and it just happened" They want to give the impression that they weren't going out specifically to get pounded that night.
Well, this part can be true in a % of cases. However, they still get horny at some point later. And they also don't want to know it.
In a share of cases, they don't want to know it after the fact either. "I was drunk and not myself" (when all alcohol does is bring out the true nature of people). A fraction that comes out in a "I was raped" form, that when you hear it you don't know whether to laugh until your sides hurt or run in contempt.
Anyway, it is as it is, so let's take it as it is.
But all along, getting pounded is what bitches need and desire nowadays - especially by a real man who is immune to liberal bullshit. They want to feel like women.
You took away the desirability cue which is a big source of sexual attraction in women. You literally told her to her face that she is not attractive enough to you to try to push boundaries and have sex with her. It is hardly surprising when a hawt guy starts grinding on her, giving her the validation craving that you denied.
that's one thing that the amateurs around here do not get. This stupid idea that you can treat a girl like shit all night and then she'll madly fuck you. Women run off of solipsistic feelings and want to be desired above ALL else.
If she is attracted to you, be attracted back. Act like an old school man and not like one of her girlfriends playing tit for tat "neg" games all night. That shit is so gay...
Most people have no fucking clue what an actual neg is and why it is used.
A lot of guys are hurt by some bitch because they put the pussy on a pedistal, then come on TRP or some PUA, site, the first thing that sticks in their brain is the neg, because they are still very angry at women. In their dumb ass brain they think, I hate women and I get to treat them like shit and that will make them want to sleep with me? This is awesome! You see those PUA/TRP babies all the time. They used to be a total pushover now they are overcorrected into maximum asshole, and still go home to Palmela Handerson. You seem em nuclear negging a 6 or 7 and she either starts crying or flips out, and he doesn't understand what he did wrong? They told me negging is the key to sleeping with women.
Exactly, at the end of my blue pill days I was dating a girl who told me she was confused I hadn’t tried to fuck her yet because she usually gets physical early, and I replied that I had wanted to be a gentleman (vomit) and get to know her better before sex and not be another fuck boy (more vomit). Next time I saw her it was like a switch went off and she was no longer interested in me, even though I tried escalating towards sex like she had indicated she wanted.
Suffice it to say this drove me towards the Red Pill because I was confused and heartbroken.
Indicating you’re not interested in sex tells her that you only want to be friends, normal guys interested in a woman want to fuck, it’s basic human nature.
Yeah, obviously. Who the fuck isn't interested in sex? Okay, i challenge you to imagine two scenarios. One is a guy talking to a girl and saying he's not interested in sex. Scenario #2 is a guy talking to a girl and when asked if he likes having sex, he casually says yes. Which guy is more likely to get laid?
The more attractive one is the correct answer. lol, you know it's true. or if she wants to settle down, the more wealthy one.
So you either lied to her face or told her she wasn't sexy. Not sure which is worse.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm on the same planet as some. Cannot imagine either of these things happening to me. Anyway, I'd have to go to extremes on that question. "I was too tired from making pornos all week" or "ahh, you noticed she's bow-legged now."
Please also note that, a lot of the time, if you are very blunt about sex very soon into a date like this it can have the same effect, taking away her ability to lie to herself about it “just happening” or how she “never does this” or she was “so drunk”.
I give you gold if I could. Underrated comment of the month.
I have learn so much from this coment, thank you.
Did the same shit to a Filipino she lost all the respect as fast as gay man disappear in Saudi Arabia
Hilarious.
Stupid though because if she did actually stay he would “try and have sex with her”. Better just to say “Fine to crash at mine if need, let’s go” - sex is implied, girls don’t stay over on the first date to not have sex with a guy they like.
Hint: You can become the guy they don’t like though (example of how to in post) in which they’ll stay over, you’ll be used like a hotel and become a “great friend”
Or don’t even say that.
“Can I leave my stuff here?” “Yep.”
"No."
That will get her wet within milliseconds.
To be honest, the dude nearly had her. Just slight tweaks to the way he talks and acts would have sealed the deal.
-> “Can I leave my stuff here?”
"If you're lucky."
This is along the same lines as 'just lift bro' and people that upvoted are likely the ones that rarely get laid.
This type of cocky shit can work but you really have to have a good feel for your audience and when I look back at most of the sex that I've had (and seen friends have), the cocky routine isn't a consistent winner amongst the more educated girls around central London and Sydney's CBD. The girls from the blue collar town I used to live seemed to respond to this better - education level and exposure to feminism seemed to be the differentiator.
Obviously you need to put a read on the individual, that's the problem with most advice on here.. it's very general as if every single female is exactly the same. I've seen (and experienced) the cocky shit work wonders if you can pull it off and you're attractive. I've also seen a more humble approach as the better play, formlessness, understanding the person in front of you and acting accordingly.
I love how jerk-boy this is, lmao.
I'd probably say something like "Maybe. We'll see how tonight goes." Which I don't think is as good.
If you don't want to be as direct, you should at least reframe it to sound like you are merely contemplating, not just indecisive. Remove "maybe" and it sounds better.
Bro he could've said yes. The deal was closed and he managed to find a way to fuck it up.
The date should not have continued after that.
Because you are DHV and are making her work for it and "earn" it?
Yeah I cringed so much. He could have saved the date even from that blunder had he simply said "none of your concern" when the first dude came up ask him whether she was his girlfriend.
But when another dude comes and starts feeling up your girl, that's when you know that you're a beta fag. He's plugged in hard.
That's really the females decision. I mean, are you gonna start a fight in a packed club over some girl you've known for an hour or two? You pick up a girl who thinks a fun night is going to a bunch of clubs, don't be surprised if she starts grinding with another dude. If she was interested in him she wouldn't have done that. There was nothing the guy could do at that point besides immediately leave or start hitting on other women. He should have built enough attraction with her earlier to not have that problem, but really, who brings a first date to a night club. You pick up women at a night club, you don't take them there.
She's a bar slut that acted like a bar slut. Fuckin George Clooney could be hitting on her and she'd still be grinding on another guy.
This is hilarious, there's so many weak guys now that I end up being the guy that grinds their date.
Don't ask the guy, he could say something about it. Go straight for the girl and if you notice the guy reacting to it ask the girl if he is her boyfriend. They will surely deny it in front of him, and he'll be almost paralyzed while you grab the girl to dance.
Some guys will try to fight you and push you, but if you shrug it off as nothing the girl will immediately come to your "rescue".
A friend I wing does this consistently; even with married women (ring on) - he likes the challenge/amusement. I personally think it's a low-class move, there's a social contract that would respect another man's place.
It's a challenge to his dignity. In the three countries, he's done this, around 20% of the time results in a fight or escalation which ruins the night and your reputation with the staff.
Pussy isn't worth getting glassed in the face.
That's the same kind of "social contract" that led these men to believe that by acting nice and polite and gentlemanly to women they're going to appear attractive. Even before TRP, sure you must have heard this phrase? "All is fair in love and war." You talk about "another man's place" but what has "another man" ever done for you? If he ends up losing the girl then he himself should learn of the fact that AWALT and she's not his girl, just his turn, and when it ends, it ends. If you know him personally and respect him, all's well, but if not then it would be silly to think that you're responsible for touching "another man's property" when it was never his to begin with.
That said, I also don't think pussy is worth that much trouble. However if the guy does it because he simply likes the challenge, then it's his decision to make.
It's called empathy.
Grinding on some girl that is evidently on a date is a cunt thing to do, you can do it but I'll still think you're a cunt.
You've been on the other side of the equation; I think you understand the sentiment.
I understand the sentiment, I have experienced it a million times. That's how I know making too much emotional investment isn't healthy.
Look, I'm not saying it's the "right" thing to do, either. However is it wrong for evil? It's indeed a cunt thing to do, but only if viewed through a blue-pilled lens in which morals and ethics actually mean anything. But the truth is, whether you choose to do it or not, given the chance there most definitely will be somebody else who does that cunt thing. Now instead of being "your fault" it's "someone else's fault" but most certainly that "fault" will still be made. But when you think about it, is it really anyone's fault when it's the nature of women that makes it happen? If a guy grinding on her is a cunt, doesn't that makes her more of a hoe for responding to that? if it's in women's nature, are women at fault?
Well, I used to resent men, then I used to resent women for that fact. Except nobody is at fault here and there is only the game to blame. But then the game just is, it doesn't care about shaky relative moral values, and within it there is no right or wrong for going about anything. Is the game "being a cunt" for simply being the way it is? Are the players "doing cunt things" just for following the rules of the game? Whenever I have to ask myself these questions, I already know the answer is "no" and all that energy invested in anger and disappointment and frustration could be better allocated to learning how to become a better player myself.
Nobody is being a cunt, they just seem that way to someone who doesn't know the rules of the game, doesn't know that a game is being played, or someone who knows but refuses to play the game by its rule then blames his failure on other people playing the game fairly, in which case he himself is kind of a cunt.
Not necessarily. I was always curious when this happened me in my youth instead of angry. I never mate-guarded because I instinctively knew that the girl is just following what she wanted most. So I'd ask myself the question what does she like about him that I don't have? This is how I developed my inner game in my youth. The answer isn't to tell the guy that it's "none of your concern" it's to be her Chad so that no guy would even attempt that in the first place.
He should have just said "she's with me" and ignored him after that as the guy walked off
I know, right? I almost wonder if he's trolling
He's not trolling. I could see my self doing all the shit OP did in that post.
Can we get a link, btw?
I can't link it. The sub is dating_advice
Damn I almost feel like if you spot a beta fag you can use them as an open to the girl. Might start doing that haha.
Yea.. me too...
Its just to unbelievable of a story... Losers like in the story don't ever get that far with a really hot girl...
I can honestly say I have never known anyone to say this... and yes, when I was younger, me and many of my friends were nerds
It is definitely believable. It's exactly how I used to think (and many of my "nerd" friends).
How he got that far with a hot girl? He's hot as well, just autistic.
Even "nerds" have the intention of sex. Saying you don't in a serious manner makes you sound straight up castrated.
I did this same thing once, chick tried to fuck my little brother that night instead. He wasn't into it, a few years later I ran into her again, was repenting of my bp ways, tried to bone her and couldn't stay hard or keep from laughing.
I think when i was in 6th grade I haf a crush on this girl. I remember a buddy prodding me about what I wanted to do with her. My answer? "just cuddle, she's not a whore and im a gentleman"
Edit: because everybody thinks I posted this in a negative context, I'll explain. Im laughing at myself, not beating myself up. Jiminy fuckballs you guys need to stop projecting. Why would I be even the least bit concerned about something that occured at a point in my life when I didnt have the luxury of knowing any better?
Okay grade 6 is still fine, you were a child.
6th grade...you probably just started puberty. Don't beat yourself up about not being masculine at such an early stage.
I don't think I even really knew what "whore" meant at that age. I just knew it was a bad word.
Everyone knows this is actually the oldest trick in the book
Agreed. All about how you deliver it and who you actually are
This is a super line if you drop it in the right moment in a flirty way.
And here I don't let people crash at my place even if we do have sex.
I can't believe the dude actually said the last part of it. If he just said "you can sleep at my place", things could have went differently
Thing is you could literally tell a girl your not gonna sleep with her. But if you say it with confidence and a smirk which suggests that you both know she's getting the fucking off her life later it can work.
Haha this is my go to when she’s not my type aka “she has a great personality”
Remember being like that at one point lol
I am too. She overtly told him she wanted sex and he ruined it.
I actually drop a pretty similar line on chicks and it works like a charm. I'll say something like "sure you can crash, I'll get the floor all made up and ready for you/I hear my couch is super comfy/etc" with a smirk that tells her if she crashes she's getting smashed. Works great tbh
Yeah, I keep dying and still do not know what happens beyond this point.
Instead he could say "you can sleep at my place, but don't you dare to try having sex with me, I'm not so easy, you horny little animal". And then fuck her anyway, why the fuck you should always tell truth? There is no such rule. Telling girl what we wouldn't have sex isn't a problem, a problem is when you are too serious and submissive instead of being playful and dominant. You can say to her "no, no, we couldn't have sex, you know?" while stripping her panties.
Well I know I'm a blue pill right now, cause this is what I was about to say to a girl, if I would have a date. I'm glad stumbled upon this post.
You could probably hear her pussy drying up when he said that.
I glanced over that at first reading but I'd bet dollars to donuts she called this "rapey" to her friends.
Because it is actually a little.
This statement is actually fine if said correctly, and in the right FRAME (people misuse the word frame on this sub, it means how you two relate to each other, i.e. king and subject - NOT your self-beliefs).
He's saying this in a position/ frame of reference of WEAKNESS. First, he's making a concession that she can actually sleep there, which is desperate and supplicating. Saying "I won't try to have sex with you" -- makes him seem like a castrated, accommodating pussy.
Something that WOULD and HAS worked for me, in certain contexts:
Frame: Role reversal. She is chasing YOU. She is seducing YOU. You are the selector, the prize, the chooser. Be forewarned, this is heavy munitions as most girls have never heard this, and unless she's very hot, some can take a huge self-confidence hit. OF COURSE, it's bullshit, but she doesn't know that. Gets her chasing. See the difference from "seriously I won't try and paw at you as the chasing man because I'm nice hehehe."
__ 2, My place is just five minutes down the road, want to listen to some music? (if get concerns:) Just music, we don't have to do anything you don't want to/// only for a short while, I have to get up early.
Here if you get a protest, you are conceding that you aren't a "rapey" guy who will enforce sex just because she came up. You don't explicitly mention anything about sex though, makes you see more experienced/ socially savvy. You are just promising a "no strings" fun time. Of course, one alone together at your place, odds are high that sex will happen (if she wants it, don't get rapey). But you're trying to move the ball along as easily as possible. You are offering a shared fun time, not making concessions.
So ... said in the right way, it can be effective. Firstly, to throw a hot girl WAAAY off her perch and getting her chasing (if you say it plausibly). Secondly, as persuasion to get her up there. But in the frame of "continued flirting and fun" ... not "I'm going to castrate myself and supplicate".
Say this with a grin. Actually works.
Right, her roommate. And "get home".
She wasn't going back to the club to find Chad.
She was going to uber directly back to Chad’s
It's a remarkable coincidence, but, the Uber drive looked almost exactly like the guy she was grinding on at the first place!
I was like this guy years before, so I can understand his situation.
It's 100% true that no matter how she's good hearted, fair, understanding etc.(ie:bullshit) she won't think about you, not for a second once you start being the nice guy.
Being the nice guy is the greatest sin of TRP. Commit once and you're going to Blue Pill Hell, no repentance.
I've seen this happen quite a few times in person actually. But I'll provide an example that happened this past Saturday.
My friend invited this girl who he works with to hang out with us at some club.
This girl bought with her another guy. Now I couldn't tell if they were together or not at first, until I noticed him following her around like a lap dog. This chick grinded on me and my friend a few times while the guy she came there with just watch.
I just looked at him like dude wtf is wrong with you? Together or not, that shit is weird for you to bring a girl out with you to watch her flirt and dance with other guys. Even worse that he didn't talk to any other women while we there.
This guy was so far in the friend zone that it made me voment. Oh and it got worse. Not only did he buy her drinks but my friend and I as well. Kind of like he was showing off for her. And the girl even mentioned out loud how she was happy that she didn't have to pay for anything. Right in front of this guy's face. Some guys really need to grow some balls and honestly if he didn't mate guard hard I'm sure me or any other guy could have taken her home. Well to be fair she did tell my friend that she woke up with a different guy in her bed. Smh...
A similar situation happened with my cousin a few months ago. Brought a girl out with us and she danced with other dudes. After slapping my cousin in the face a few times he got rid of her.
I had a similar experience a coworkers "Girlfriend" went on a monologue about the evils of monogamy after flirting with another of our male coworkers, proceeded to grab my cock while walking by me, and then went onto flirt with a bar tender. My coworker who came with her went on to explain how she's " really a good person ....she's not ALWAYS like this" . I felt sorry for him but then decided fuck it he clearly has no self-respect, I won't touch her .
Yeah, the whole bringing a woman out and her dancing with another guy isn't the worst thing because maybe they really aren't trying to fuck each other. It's that this dude wasn't trying to have any fun and ended up buy her and the other guys drinks. Absolutely pathetic and following her around like a lap dog is pretty cringeworthy.
Can you reverse engineer this to get unwanted chicks to excuse themselves?
Now that's weird. Women typically never leave their purses anywhere. But she wants to leave her purse - and her money - at his place.
He might as well have told her: "By the way, I don't have sex with women. I am a gigantic fagonzola. I probably suck dick better than you do."
Translation: "I am a retard."
Wow. So the Real MVP gives him the most gentle Code Red possible under the circumstances.
That was a mercy killing, on her part.
Totally over-invested. And dumb. Very, very dumb.
/facepalm
This guy has Never.Had.Sex.With.A.Woman.
It's a shit-show from start to finish.
The whole leaving her purse thing threw me for a loop at first too, I think it's a clever way to make it seem like you have plans to stay over as well as an excuse for the date to cover the drinks since they left their money (hint not id though) at his house. I honestly think he would have gotten sex if he didn't screw it up with the nice guy crap. My boyfriend did this a lot before I dated him and paid for a lot of first/only dates that resulted in zero sex.
The thing that killed him was his behavior at the club. He had all the time in the world to take the good vibes to the next level and should have had their bodies pressed together to the music before square jaw guy ever came along.
Nice guys don’t know how to relax and have fun and this is what gets them every time.
He should never have gone to the club. The date should've ended when he banged her at his place. Why continue to sell a closed deal?
I don’t disagree and that is certainly a better idea. I’m just working with what happened. Sometimes some extra booze and the club can add that more ‘wild’ vibe to the night. Irrelevant now.
WOW exactly. Nice guys don't know how to have fun. I wish we could expand on this.
It’s actually one of the biggest issues the nice guy faces. Often this is the key problem with guys. Body....lift. Income.....better job. Etc. Doesn’t mean your gonna get laid. The two key areas that get a man laid are embracing ones visceral sexuality and fun. And often those two are intertwined when it comes to what put people in the mood. The rest is generally irrelevant.
Absolutely. They don't know how to unwind and have FUN. They're too serious, uptight, and calculating
Yep and sad part is a lot of TRP becomes null for guys once they learn this because you do t really need a dose of reality when you learn how to experience life IN reality.
Just playing devils advocate here, but I often leave my purse at a friends or a dates and just grab my ID and my credit card.
But I know why you assume she was expecting him to pay, and in all honesty, she more than likely was and he more than likely did pay for her. 🤦🏻♀️
There's a practical aspect, since they rode the same uber. If he locks the purse in his room/apartment, it's untouchable while he's out with her, but since they're leaving together, she's guaranteed to get it back unless something goes gawdawful wrong. So she's planning to have a good date, at the very least. Poor execution on her part.
This is pretty much the same I thought when I read the sentence. Unofficial MvP Prize for that dude :D
what do you even do in that situation though?
I mean as far as I could tell he had already dug his grave and the bulldozer was coming over to bury him.
He could have recovered from the line at his place had he been a fun guy at the club and they danced together but by the time MVP showed his case was terminal...
so let's say he didn't do/say the stupid things before the club, but still the scene with the other guy coming grinding on her happens anyway
what should you do in this situation ? eject ? Physically prevent it from happening ? I guess if she ends up stickied to another guy it's already too late
The answer is always talk to other girls.
Walk away. Withdraw your attention.
Flirt with other girls in the club, even better if you can get them to dance and grind on you right in front of her.
The fact she took an uber back with him instead of going home to have her brains fucked with the other guy suggest she is actually a nice girl.
Dude messed up big time. Can empathise with him though. We have all been there.
She was furious because she HAD to take Uber to OP's home. In the moment, hours earlier, she left her stuff including her purse at his place. She had to get those things thus she couldn't just ditch OP's sorry ass.
I am certain she was extremely pissed at the world for leaving her stuff at OP's place. She thought he's cool and it turned out to be a front.
Lol no... she's not a "nice girl." She started dancing with another guy on the date. She went back with him because he had her purse at the apartment. She had to go back to get it.
True but women are also always bringing too much shit to places and then deciding they don't feel like carrying it anymore.
Leaving stuff back at the house gives her plausible deniability they're banging later. It's a baked in reason to go back to his place. The guy completely fucked himself over. Let this be a lesson in what NOT to do.
Yep. I always assume I'm fucking so went way over my head.
This is the thing about nice guys. You nailed it right on the first paragraph. They have NO idea how the female mind works. None whatsoever.
They're trying to learn to play guitar with a book that teaches chess. They've been told all these things about respecting women, being non-judgemental and friendly, that they should be themselves, etc. And it always fails.
Little does he know if he had treated her like a little child, lead the interaction and act dominant, he could have slapped her ass in public and called her his slut and she'd be craving to suck the juice out of his dick by the time they got home.
He got served a harsh and brutal red pill that should be enough to awaken him from the vile depths of blue pill conditioning. Soon we'll have a new subscriber who used to be a former nice guy.
Some poor guy is going to join and read that and be like shit, THATS ME!!!
Hahahaha. I'm not sold on subscribing yet but I certainly did read it.
dude i fucking commented on your old post telling you what you could've done. And look what happened haha.
Holy fuck are you really the guy?
"Little does he know if he had treated her like a little child, lead the interaction and act dominant, he could have slapped her ass in public and called her his slut and she'd be craving to suck the juice out of his dick by the time they got home."
I'm a bit of a newbie, how exactly does this happen? Is it just him setting a sexual frame and. Or displaying nice guy qualities?
Be amused by what she's saying, like she's there to entertain you and everything she says is as if it was being said by a literal kid. Don't take things she says at face-value. Be congruent obviously, if the conversation took a dark detour and she tells you some vulnerable piece of history from her past then act appropriately (this is where TRP philosophy gets twisted/misconstrued - this should go without saying).
They want to let go and be led by a dominant male. It all boils down to caveman shit- they want protection, strength and resources (often from different men).
Like Chad taking her by the wrist to go dance
You talk as if gulfing down the red pill would open the door to joy for him. The untold truth is: if a man is more sensitive than the unsensitive kind of male females crave, he's gonna stay like that.
I mean, yeah, if he reads this Reddit he'll learn the right ways, and next time he'll earn his lay.
What do you think this will do to his life, make it "happy"? Lol. Having to pretend you are a careless brute whilst you are not. Oh the happiness it gives you!
So I agree all men should take the Red Pill. It'll cushion them against heartache, and get them some ass. Not happiness.
I 100% disagree. Sensitivity is not a immutable and its not incompatible with TRP.
You read TRP and your sensitivity will change. If you understand half of what TRP is saying, it is impossible for your sensitivity to remain the same.
Also, sensitivity is not incompatible with TRP, you just have to be more selective on how you apply it, in fact TRP refines your sensitivity for the better. Instead of being pulled emotionally from side to side by manipulators, you can more clearly discern where your compassion and empathy is really needed.
This. Nothing is wrong with compassion and sensitivity but 99% of these chicks in clubs and colleges do not come close to deserving it. They will drop you like you're hot.
You are correct bruh. But I find myself struggling to find a good place to put my compassion on. I became far too aloof and apathetic to my liking.
Even friends and family don't seem to be deserving much compassion, so what then? My work? My hobbies?
Are you a young man? If you are young and discovering TRP don't worry too much. Young people need to be a bit selfish and narcissistic (just a bit) because you are developing yourself so you need to center more on yourself.
Once that process is over and you feel you are more sure of who you are in the world you'll open up some again.
Sensitivity is 100% part of masculinity. Being gentle when you are strong is one of the most powerful things on the planet. It's important to realize that being gentle is NOT the hard part (just being sensitive and gentle is just being beta), it's being strong AND being gentle.
The best example I can think of is the dad from the movie The Accountant. This is actually redpilled AS FUCK so read up. The dad knows that the typical "medicine" (read: blue pill) for his kids autism-spectrum disorder is going to lead to him just being a victim for his entire life. So he employs his own, alternative medicine and FORCES his kid to undergo treatment: exposure therapy (which I'm sure you've read about here, about going in-field and exposing yourself to social situations/women/rejection). He makes his stimulation-sensitive autistic kid experience as much stimulation as possible in order to overcome the mental blocks that it creates... However, his mom eventually leaves them because she just can't handle it. In the same scene his mom is leaving, the kid is having another episode where he's being overloaded by sensations and the father comes in and hugs him and calms him down... Next scene they're at it again with combat training this time.
That is the kind of sensitivity that an alpha should display. Gentle, but not yielding. Strong and encompassing. Settling.
Be good men, guys. Fuck bitches and get money, but be good men to those who deserve it, like your kids, your parents (not always but usually), your pets, and so on.
The Accountant sounds like an amazing movie. Putting some really good stuff into action. Thanks for the recommendation!
Oh definitely, 100% badass and you will DEFINITELY see the redpill concepts and ideas in it (especially when the dad starts talking about victimhood...).
Don't forget the main character is autistic though. He's definitely not redpill level suave with ladies. His redpill aspects are in how he treats his mission, not his women (which he does get, but still).
Yup. I was much more BPed than the guy here. I've been reading TRP for a few weeks now and I am certainly a changed person. Still a long way to go though.
First time posting here but I had to quote this for truth. I can 100% verify.
I'm a very sensitive guy but only after a few months of lurking here my sensitivity has changed, noticeably. I don't think that I am any bit less sensitive, I am just very selective about when I let it take hold of me, almost as if I had grown a "switch off" button on me somewhere.
I'm sensitive when watching movies, playing games, playing with animals, writing my stories/screenplays or playing music etc. I can empathize with friends, family, even foreigners when I think they need it, and be there for them.
But at the same time I give less fucks each day about random people and can stand my ground in most situations. I can zoom out and try to evaluate the situation and if somebody is bitching or trying to hurt me I almost instantly distance myself emotionally and act based on my conviction and economic principles (opportunity cost, sunk cost etc).
I am genuinely shocked at the effectiveness of this. I don't understand how it happened but I'm glad it did.
This. Being a guy leaning to more emotional/sensitive side of the spectrum is not incompatible with TRP.
In fact the top PUA's usually have very heavy feminine characteristics to their personality. You don't catch fish with dust bunnies. You use little pieces of fish to bait them.
Can you expand more on that?
I'm not u/BluepillProfessor , but I agree with him and can give you my experience.
My father ignored me and my mother was abusive. She was obsessed with me but in an abusive way. I grew up being very sensitive to her humor changes and finding diplomatic and funny ways of deflecting her manipulative ways without angering her. What I realized once I grew up is that I was better than other kids understanding women. A lot of times, I intuitively get what women are thinking approximately just by looking at them.
At first, I let my feminine side shine, specially because I had very little masculine side because of the lack of father figure. As you can imagine, that lead to girls saying I was very cute, wanting to be around me but completely friend zoning me.
I realized I had a problem (in general with my personality, girls were just a part) and from looking to how other men acted and going to the gym, I developed a masculine side, and more importantly I discovered I enjoy it a lot.
Then I started getting good with women. And I realized I have an easy time flirting with them. I can push their buttons and I kind of know when I can keep pushing and they are just faking being angry or trying to be bossy, or when I have to let go off the pedal because they really are getting to their limit. I have a lot of intuition in the moment on what the girl is feeling and what she expects of me. I attribute that to my mother "childhood training" making me develop my feminine side. Once I learned to control it and had a masculine side, understanding women better than the average guy gives you an advantage.
Its important to cultivate your masculine side and not get lost on your feminine side. It sounds weird but its easy to lose yourself in your feminine side once you see it works to get women. I suspect that is what happens to a lot of the typical musician that despite having money and fame (women) ends up being very unhappy.
Its a bit rushed and unpolished, but hope it makes sense.
If a man is sensitive he isn't exercising enough or eating correctly. You show me any normal, healthy man alive, give me 2 months with him, weight training and eating right, his testosterone will be through the roof and he will be a pussy predator.
Gonna try it — curious to see what'll lead to.
I agree that accepting reality does not always lead to happiness but at least you are no longer tripping over objects in the dark.
I have to disagree.
You see, this guy had a covert contract with the woman, he was expecting sex if he treated her like a princess and respected her.
Instead he went home alone and disappointed.
He actually had a chance, believe it or not. He was this fucking close to being able to seal the deal, a girl doesn’t mention her unshaven legs unless she’s thinking about you seeing them.
Just like I don’t mention that I like my steak medium rare unless I’m talking to a waiter.
Could you teach me how to get on that level of not giving a fuck? Do you slap any girls ass without permission?
I can see we have a lot of work to do. Yes, by all means slap away. Grab em by the pussy. They love it.
If you are rich and famous (or they are sexually attracted to you).
Slapping random girls on the ass is a great way to pick up a sexual assault charge.
There is a book called "the Subtle Art of Not giving a fuck." However, I would work on my Aspergers and social awareness before I went to that book.
No, sir. Don't slap a girl's ass unless you've already built tangible attraction with her, in other words, after you've at least made out with her.
This is because many guys don't have enough experience to be able to tell when a girl is clearly attracted to them, so doing it only after some success with her seems like a good metric. Don't go around slapping random girls' asses, that will bring you trouble.
Assuming you've made-out with her and you're looking to maintain a dominant frame, then I find slapping her ass in public while looking at her with a cocky guy smirk, especially when there's people around, will make her crazy. She doesn't know how to properly react. On the one hand she enjoys being the slut of a dominant guy. On the other hand she knows she's not supposed to be seen in public being slapped on the ass by a guy.
The point is if you follow this sub's advice, if you raise your SMV and if you build a dominant guy frame, you can bring out of most women their slutty nature and do to her what blue pilled men would see as the most disrespectful and vile shit out there and have her enjoy the fuck out of it.
Saw the post. Most comments are just hilarious. You gotta read them, here’s an example:
“He was a big scary guy. She could have been intimidated?”
The Chad in this story actually sounded like a pretty good bro, asking if it was his girl first.
Yeah he was being considerate. And he even left after he noticed the guy got all uncomfortable. He could have been a dick and pushed back, but instead he took pity on him and left.
That's not just anyone's comment, that was the OP's comment. Even worse.
Hilarious how some people think women are intimidated by men.
Women routinely get asked "want to go back to my place?" by strangers and accept to knowingly put themselves in situations they have no control over whatsoever. They are at the mercy of strangers and the unknown and they choose to do it repeatedly but some people think a "big" dude scares them.
That level of stupidity isn't an accident; it's willful ignorance.
Asking women back to my place feels strange even from my perspective. If someone taller/stronger/faster/more powerful than me that I'd never met asked me to go home with them i'd tell them to fuck off. I know what my apartment is like and what suburb I live in and what my intentions are. They have no fucking clue about any of that. Sometimes they wake up the next morning with zero clue of where they are. I point out a window in a direction and tell them the train station is "that way" or give them my address for an Uber because they are so utterly helpless and care-free that they couldn't even get home or back to the safety of a known environment without help.
They take those sorts of risks on a regular basis but beta's think they get scared by a big guy. Those beta's could write a list of all the things they think women might find intimidating then at the top cross out the heading "intimidating" and replace it with "attractive/turn ons" and they'd be 100% correct.
This is the perfect example of a guy that listened to what women say they want from a man. I wouldn't be surprised if he visited the Xchoromosones sub and listened to what those girls say they look for in a man. Probably been told his whole life to act that way.
Yea we can laugh and talk shit about how cringy this is, but we know exactly where this behavior came from. Don't know how old he is, but hopefully after getting rejected a few more times like this will wake him up.
Honestly though the story sounds weird. The girl left her shit at his place but then told him to leave in the middle of their date? Was she just going to go grab her shit later or something? That just sounded strange.
She wasn't thinking about the consequences, she just wanted to fuck Chad in the toilets and would have worried about her stuff later.
I mean, this dude indicated to her that he was an absolute beta slave, so she probably wasn't too worried about anything happening to her stuff. She'd just show up later and thank her great friend for hanging on to it for her.
Chad at the club would have probably driven her to his place to pick up her stuff in the morning.
Women are emotional, not logical.
This 100%. Was raised by a single mother myself - this is the type of behavior we were taught. This is what feminist nuts online are teaching men as well.
Yea I see it all the time. If anyone has any doubts go ahead and go to the xchromosones, askWomen, or relationship subs and make a post asking what women look for in a guy.
They will all say they want a guy who's nice, buy them gifts, respects them, makes them laugh, pays for them on dates, appreciate them, ect...
You dont even have to go to those subs, go to a dating site and see what women put into their profiles. If you're too lazy for that then ask the women in your family what they look for.
The nice guys or guys in this post are guys that listened to what women say they want in a guy. If you want to get women, you do the opposite of what they say they are looking for. We all learned this the hard way, hopefully the guy in the post wakes up.
And I understand your point about the single moms. I too had a singe mom and she not only told me to treat women like a queen, but to not even allow them to touch me when I was in middle school.
Ofcourse it killed my dating life in high school then she had the nerve to question my sexuality when I didn't have a date for prom. Single mom's are the worse.
You can expect shitty advice from xchromosones, relationship, etc. but venture over to ASK MEN and you will see beta soy boys give similar advice
Hell, there was a thread the other month there about a guy who had a girl over to his place and felt bad for trying to escalate things. the advice? "there's nothing sexier than asking for a kiss". "Make sure to ask if it is ok every step". "consent is hot".
Of course the people giving this shit advice usually have rock bottom SMVs themselves. Never trust anything you here on Reddit kids.
Yea I totally forgot about that sub too. And yea that example made me bang my head on the wall.
I was over on the AskMen sub not to long ago and there was a thread about marrying a woman with a high partner count.
Majority of the guys on there were saying how they were completely fine with their woman having a high partner count. Blew my mind. These dudes were basically playing the role of captain save a ho. And the thing is, young inexperienced guys will read that stuff thinking its right.
One has to understand the majority of reddit are low valued losers, ESPECIALLY so for women here. How many attractive women do you know who post on Reddit of all places?
On the ask men sub a woman was going off about how her friends are sexy and like consent. Of course when I checked her posting history it was in marvel comic book and video game subs. Now either she is the single attractive girl on the planet who posts on Reddit, likes video games, and super hero movies - or she is a fat hairy armed low smv slob whale.
Real life experience >>> what you read online
Lol!!!! Very good point. Asked a number of decent looking women 8 know about reddit, none of them even know it exists
Hey everybody, I'm glad to see that you enjoyed my story. I would just like to clear up a couple points real quick:
I WAS dancing with her before (and briefly after) squarehead stepped in. It seems I wasn't very clear about this.
Yes, I very clearly made the mistake of being too much of a nice guy. I recognize that.
As someone else stated, I definitely think she left her purse at my place as an excuse to have less money on her so I had to pay for drinks.
Thanks for the constructive input, everyone.
Hey dude. I'm glad you're not taking this thread the wrong way. It might seem like I was making fun of you, but myself and most of the other guys here have been in similar situations. It's good that you recognize your mistakes. Honestly, I think you could be easily landing girls like this if you wanted to, it would just take some minor tweaking of your strategy (losing the niceness, going for the kiss/lay when she shows interest, etc.). Whether or not you want girls like this is up to you though. Above all else, if you see a girl disrespecting you, don't be afraid to leave the date then and there.
"Ask someone else stated, I definitely think she left her purse at my place as an excuse to have less money on her so I had to pay for drinks."
I was one of those guys and I am surprised to see you considering this as opposed to just writing it off. You have the right attitude; there's hope for you yet and since she was so attractive you must be fairly attractive yourself so you have tons of potential.
Look man, I just hope you're super pissed at yourself and vow that this shit won't ever happen to you again and start reading and changing your mentality.
God knows I've made mistakes like those and when I realized what I had done in the past I wanted to punch a wall...however; I went on a self - improvement mission and here I am. In much better shape mentally and physically. I needed to know, I needed to hit rock bottom to break from my old habits.
From the book, No More Mr Nice Guy: "What if this was a gift?"
What if this was the date / thread that made you change? Take it as a gift!
If by some chance you run into the big guy again, tell him you appreciate him being a bro once you showed she was with you, & you're figuring out what women like (don't use game terminology, people who are 'normal' / 'naturals' have a hard time reframing what comes naturally to them into textbook material, it weirds them out). Be real about it and you might end up with a wingman for some nights.
What the ever-living fuck? It's OK if you don't like bars and clubs. But if the club isn't your native environment, then don't take your date there in the first place.
Don’t take dates there period lol I’ve banged plenty of women from tinder and never once did I ever brought a girl to a club. Getting cheap beers at a bar or buying them buck fifty hot chocolate is all I’m doing.
Why don't you link the said post?
Here: http://archive.is/msFzO
Because TRP automod removed it when I put the link in. Thanks for posting it.
Links of archive.is are not gonna removed as you can see.
Some of the comments are worse than the story
This man has three possible futures.
In one, he gets a high-paying job of some sort and some post-wall chick grabs him by the coat tails. Children and divorce-rape await.
In the second, he wears a fedora.
In the third he finds this sub or something similar and starts manning the hell-up. He looks back at this moment as the inflection point in his life, where he finally realised he needed to change something.
The entire time I’ve been picturing this guy with a beard and a fedora with a bunch of open mouth smile selfies on Instagram.
I’m guessing fedora is the likely course
You know there are some women worthy of marriage that will never divorce you.
I remember being like this guy and WANTING to be number one in your outline above (minus divorce rape). Basically "Ill be sweet and get a good job, when the women are done having fun they will recognize me for the great guy I am".
Didn't think I'd ever be dominant. Physically strong. Etc.
Glad I found this sub.
Or he finds a girl that's not going no run away from a date to go flirt with some randomer.
Feminism has infected BOTH genders with undesirable traits, however it is possible for a man to shape a slightly broken female into a proper one assuming she isn't too far gone.
However, to attract her and be able to influence her, he first has to possess some masculine qualities of his own that would make her want to stay in the first place.
The issue with the waiting strategy is that it expects a good female candidate to be attracted to a bad male candidate, whichi there is a low probability of.
Well at least she didn't bring big guy along and fucked him in his apartment. Overall she let him down easy and treated him fair enough. I mean she could have stayed longer and woke him up in the morning to get her things. So many ways this could have gone worse.
Else typical nice guy stuff. The sex thing is just lol. He actually did great before that and got her to his place. At that point he could have simply gone for the kill or get reject. But no, he was "nice" and then also showed 0 backbone going to clubs he hates just because of her.
His problem is that he didn't respect her enough.
I guess all of us have been in the same place, and I remember it's really hard to understand what's wrong, because for you, you're just doing everything right but they react "unexpectedly", and you assume that's how they are. Sad for the guy.
React unexpectedly lmao that's the exact way to describe it. Then they tell their friends "man she was slutty, she danced with another dude in front of me"
He'll catch himself thinking "why the hell this girl went out with me and then groped another dude? It doesn't make any sense!"
Well... Until you know what's going on, it really don't.
Confusion is one of the worst feelings in the world, and I definitely had plenty of it when chasing women before youtube and redpill
And women love to use it against us. They feel very comfortable with uncertainty.
"I hope I don't come across as too entitled"
Jesus fuck man. Grow a pair
Jesus I know I suck at parties but one on one is where I shine. That fact that u didn't even talk in the car on the way back was the nail in the coffin. Even after everything OP had done that car ride home could've been come back season in the making.
Send him a pm with a link to this sub.
There's a theosophical quote that reads "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I don't know if that guy is ready.
You may be right. I just know that most have us have made his mistakes. And there's not a single guy who finds the red pill who doesn't wish he found it sooner.
This! I only found TRP after I was shit upon and cheated on by my long time LDR. I was the blindest BP guy that ever was.
Reading TRP is like a whole new world of truth. I cringe so much at my earlier ignorant self now. I definitely wish I'd found out TRP earlier before I got so much emotionally invested in this girl. Still getting over the regular episodes of hurt and pain.
Every RP man would have liked the knowledge sooner, just as the earlier version of the same man would have assuredly rejected that very knowledge.
/u/CutLiver has it right: when the time comes he will search why his attempts with women constantly fail. And he'll inevitably find his way to some form of the manosphere. But he needs a "mental break" with the bluepill to initiate this search on his own; it can't be foisted upon him preemptively.
As it stands, he sleeps cozy at night thanks to his bluepill delusion. Sure, he didn't get sex; but darned if he isn't just one of the nicest guys you ever did meet - by golly gosh. And he respects women more than he respects his own sexuality; now that's being a Real ManTM .
That's exactly how I found TRP - I had to hit rock bottom, I was confused, knowledge hungry, fed up with letting good horses slip away from my hands and not knowing why. I was clueless, angry, disappointed.... now I'm on a mission to change my mind, I cringe at other guys when they do BP crap like I did in the past.
And yes, I wish I would had known this earlier.
BTW, the guy that OP was talking about posted a reply on this thread last night and deleted it shortly after. So, he saw this....
What a darn shame..
Darn Counter: 52545
It's easier to say that in hindsight though. TRP sticks because you don't want to go through the same experience of rejection again. If you don't have that rejection first, TRP principles may not stick. Remember, most blue pill guys probably consider themselves at least above average with the women.
"Most people will do more to avoid pain than to gain pleasure" - Corey Wayne.
I can definitely identify with this quote
Maybe try this thread. He'll see we're genuinely interested in helping out people like him because a lot of us actually were like him
At least link him to No More Mr Nice Guy. I was cringing the whole time reading this.
Maybe, but you could still offer. You are right in that you don't want him to immediately reject the sub, but there is also the chance that he would also browse immediately and begin his transformation sooner.
Given what we know of his current situation and mentality, perhaps a well written and persuasive introduction to this sub would win him over. I think the catalyst here is his recent failure, and perhaps he will build himself in the right direction since he is starting from nothing (as opposed to having mild blue pill success and restoring his faith in that strategy)
Why? So he can go "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MISOGYNIST ASSHOLES!!! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING OPPRESSED!!!"
If he ever wises up, he'll find us. If not, fuck him. He's a retard who doesn't deserve our help.
+1.
Hold his hand and he’ll stay a child longer.
No way! This guy will not be helped! Did you read that he was STILL worried about being entitled, even at the END of his story?
No, he has years more of White Knighting to go...
Rule No. 1: Don't preach TRP.
He posted this 3 hours ago:
Ya think?
Gee, could me failing all of those have something to do with her loss of attraction?
Somebody needs to tell the boy.
He saw it... posted a reply and deleted it shortly after. Maybe was too embarrassed of what guys were going to tell him. I posted a quick reply, and now the comment is deleted.
I’ve been in a situation sort of similar to this and that was exactly the punch in the face I needed to get my head on straight. I kinda feel bad for this dude but he definitely brought it on himself
Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!
This has happened to me before, I'd be out with a girl, we'd go to a club and she would allow other guys to grind on her....in front of me. In my younger days I'd just dance, awkwardly and hope she'd go home with me - it never, ever happened. Is this some kind of bizarre shit test? Because that happened to me again later in life and I just walked out of the club, only to have her text me the next day asking 'what happened?'
Also - if you're out on a date, don't go to a club...unless you want to deal with drama.
true shit. Clubs and bars are terrible choices to hang out with girls you just met...only time I had a good time at a club was went with a group of people and we were just hanging out having fun, the focus was never to try and bring home some girl.
Clubs are filled with betas and white knights - best to avoid. You don't need that shit behavior creeping in to your life.
Just gonna guess the comments:
Pretty accurate. There are some TRP comments laced throughout, but more "find someone your own pace". I personally prefer house events and quieter nights, but it isn't hard to understand how club culture and partying hard works.
This part gets me. If the roles were reversed the girl would be complaining how heartless the guy was for wanting her to leave and she'd have girls consoling her and saying what an insensitive jerk he was.
And especially if he started dancing with a girl like that, she'd have been pissed since he was supposed to be out with her. Girls really do think of guys as disposable whom they can discard at a minute's notice without any thought to other person's feelings or any self-reflection on how that makes them look.
Anyway, he dodged a bullet there as this is not a girl worth pursuing for anything for than a pump and dump. She's not going respect a guy who's nice to her as she has no problem with some hunky stranger just grinding on her without even talking to her. That's an unwanted pregnancy in the works there. Hell, she probably got an Uber back to the club and hooked up with the guy.
I would have been like "alright" then ghosted her. And when she came to get her things be like "I left them outside for you. Get off of my porch" and moved on with my life.
my thought as well. If she's just going to abandon her date to grind on some stranger in front of him while she's supposed to be out on a date with him she's definitely not worth it. Even if the date is not going well from her perspective at least show some common courtesy and not be a complete bitch.
I can imagine her thinking "what a jerk!" when she finds her stuff outside because many girls these days really do lack self awareness while other girls would defend her actions saying "you can't control what a woman does! It's her body, her choice" or some nonsense. Yet they would howl bloody murder if a guy treated her the same way she did him.
Treat them like shit and you will be God in their eyes. Give them respect, safety and kindness, they will suck up everything you have and leave you before you realise how clueless you are towards what happened. #feminism #independantwomen
I am pretty sure it is more nuanced than that. This is a parody/Blue Pill feminist troll level understanding of Red Pill.
It's very simplistic, but somewhat representative
Honestly at 34, any woman who thinks a fun night is going to 5 or 6 different bars is not somebody I am interested in.
I get it, they are probably way younger and I used to party like this and maybe at one point I would have been square head dude, but man, there are better quality women out there than bar sluts.
I'm pretty sure us mid 30's guys are the minority in this sub.
I am well aware. This sub used to be really great. It has suffered massively from Beavis and Butthead syndrome. I barely read anything here anymore. It is way more PUA shit nowadays. People talking about pick up lines, and correct wording on lines, when a few years ago the whole point of TRP was it was anti PUA and stop with the games bullshit.
I subbed for the laughs, watching these guys attempt to figure out women is hilarious. They've got a lot to learn.
I'll be 47 this year, and I enjoy every moment I'm here. I'm sure I'm less than one tenth of one percent in this sub.
However, being RP is not only about women. It's about grabbing life by the balls and giving 'em a twist...is about being a real man that takes charge instead of allowing people to just shit all over you.
Like many others, I just wish I would have found it sooner. It would have saved me a LOT of disappointment.
A moment of silence for our future brothers dry and withering penis.
First date with my girl I went to take a piss. Came back some dude was talking to her. Close. I wasted no time. Literally got right between them, facing her, my back to him. He skedaddled shortly thereafter.
A few minutes later we're dancing. ANOTHER dude comes up. Asks if he can cut in. I say no. He says I wasn't asking you, I was asking her. I say, well I'm answering for her. No. He skedaddles. A couple hours later I'm in her bed.
Later she said how much of a turn on that was, and that if I'd handled either situation differently she just couldn't have gone any further with me.
Claim your woman and stand your ground.
I was simultaneously LOLing and COLing (cringing out loud - yes I made it up). Why is he so upset anyways? The most important thing is that she felt respected and safe throughout the date. He should consider it a success.
Edit: OK holy shit, I went over there and I was reading shit for fun. I started off laughing my ass off, but then slowly it just kind of stopped being funny and I just started to get horrified. One guy said he was 30 and couldn't get laid because he was black. LOL WHAT?!
Another guy asked if it's ok to pursue a girl that he doesn't like that much. The only response is "no, first rule is don't be an asshole."
And then the mother of all questions.
After I read this one I just felt sad honestly, sad that our society could be failing so badly that a young man would be desperate enough to think this. Is that what his forefathers left their homes braved the Atlantic for? So that their descendant could live in a country where men are so desperate that they will date a man with fake tits and a wig? Goddamn. I need a beer now.
You dont bring up sex and say in the same sentence that its not gonna happen. At best you tease her a bit about it, but thats just.... emotional suicide
God this is so blue pill it hurts. Even at the end when blaming himself for being entitled.
His first mistake was picking a party girl who likes crowded bars and clubs when he doesn't. He should stick to women with similar interests.
Painful. But the rest of the comments are just as bad.
Once upon a time I would have listened to advice where they all circlejerk about her being a cunt, when pretty much every girl will do the same to a gamma male like that.
Oh god.... now I have to go read this! Lol
Hahahahaha I glanced at it and had to stop reading when I saw some other dude telling OP that he was a decent guy and wished him the best!
She was just just not the type of girl for him.... facepalm
Technically true. I'm just not sure what is the "type of girl for him".
An overweight narcissist who desperately wants a baby and money and to not work again.
That's it! A match made in heaven. /s
I see a lot of guys ripping on what he did without discussing what he should have done.
Does this sound right:
If they wanted to keep drinking, he should have just left his car wherever it was parked and cabbed it with her back to his place (wait wtf, he says they got an uber, why was the car an issue?), while teasing her about how responsible she is (is this any good: We could never be fuck buddies because I'm so wreckless and you're too cautious?).
Shouldn't have had more than a couple drinks at each venue. Should have told her "All right, let's get out of here" instead of asking if she's ready for the next bar.
She was on snapchat because she was bored, so he should have either venue changed, or pulled her to the dance floor for some grinding of his own.
It should never have gotten to the point where the dude came up to them. The moment she said you're free to leave, he should have got up and left.
Anyone have a better take on this? Genuinely curious.
What he should have done is gone for the lay when they got back to his place the first time. Fuck going out to a bunch of other bars or clubs. He already had her. He was just too much of a nice guy to make a move.
Ahhh that makes sense. So they DID go back to his place to drop off the car. Then uber’d out from there and it was too little too late at that point.
Thanks man!
Yeah, that part makes no sense. She came back to his place. Go for the lay and if she's not interested, have her leave. Although, he's too much of a nice guy to do that.
I get the going for the lay right away but have her leave when you already planned a night clubbing and dancing? That seems autistic, not to mention butthurt.
His big mistake was late in the evening not claiming ownership over the girl when he had the chance. Not many direct queries on ownership are ever made and he had the chance to grab it by the pussy. Instead he was inches from masturbating in the corner while his date ground on Chad.
Is this your girlfriend? [Grabs girl out of Chads grasp] "She's not there yet bro but I have a good feeling about this one." All laugh. Tingles activate.
Obviously the other big mistake was also not taking ownership. "You can stay at my place and we won't have sex." What the ever living fuck? Girl hears: I am not hot enough to make him desperately want me enough to go for it. He is not 'the one.'
That part I did skip over, which begs the question of why any guy with half a brain would plan a first date which ends up with both of you at a club. Even when I just started college and didn't have much experience would know to not have my first date end up at a club
Also, if he just said "You can stay at my place", while he might not have banged her, it sounds a lot better than the 'won't have sex' part. In fact, just saying "you can stay at my place" would subtly plant the idea that sex could happen.
I saw this post, most guys on that sub are fucking clueless and just perpetuate the bullshit blue pill social programming they’ve been fed, and rabid feminists come in to downvote red pill strategies in order to keep their narrative alive. I honestly feel bad for all the guys who get horrible advice like “just be yourself!” (Despite all failures that indicate bad strategy) or “don’t worry it will happen when you least expect! (Encouraging complacency and laziness). You know what they say guys, enjoy the fall.
This assumes the women doesnt want to have sex. Stop assuming that.
Because a women getting drunk and going to a club is not going to want to put out /s
Once again he cockblocks himself and he probably took her shaved legs comment seriously. Poor bastard.
Of course he doesnt like clubs. Clubs are all about dancing, a mating ritual, and this guy clearly isnt into mating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSvJaYxRoB4
I like starting out my mornings with a good dose of daily cringe.
This guy seems like a wet blanket/ no fun.
Well I think the sex thing is kinda weird, maybe he looked too serious? depends how you say it. 2 weeks ago I was flirting with a girl in a club, she was giving so much IOI, hair, touching me, teasing, laughing that at some point I looked her very deep in the eyes with that smirk face and told her "sorry, we are not going to have sex tonight", she made that weird face like it was the last thing she expected to hear, idk ...i said "yep", noded and made that expression like idgaf the outcome, enough to say she stalked me the rest of the night
Honestly, what is the right response when a guy comes in and asks that, if he's bigger/more physically chad-like? If he starts feeling her up and she likes it, do you instantly leave or do you fight the guy or what do you do? You automatically just give up whenever a guy comes in and grabs your girl? (serious question, still learning)
most dudes are gonna be respectful if you tell them you're with her (i doubt guys would even ask if it looks like you're having a good time with the girl, the girl probably looked miserable with this guy which is why it happened), but if not and shes goes off and dances with the other dude just dip. have other options and dip. no thot you just met is worth getting into a fist fight over.
but if she wasnt into the other dude and hes making unwanted advances on her you should confront, but that doesn't mean you have to throw fists. most dudes aren't going to be looking to fight
The right response is you let her choose. If she chooses to dance with him and grind on him, you leave and find another girl.
That dude was never going to find another girl in that club, I can imagine him stumbling around trying to catch peoples eye with a forced smile and finger guns and getting told to fuck off
You grab the girl firmly by the elbow or shoulder or hand and pull her back into your orbit. She will come easily or you let her go and walk away. Everybody assumes this will lead to a 'fist fight' but that is unlikely if the girl is between you. Nobody sucker punches a guy with a girl in the way- and if she is not at least in the way you have already let her go and are walking away. No guy lets a girl go in order to sucker punch a guy walking away. Does the fight happen later as you are leaving? I don't get it?
"she asks to leave her jacket and purse at his place."
I just went to the sub and said the same thing I will say here. She told him she wanted to fuck. He snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. What in the bloody hell.
She also told him that she wasn't paying tonight. Leaving her purse, personally I would have told her she needs it if we are going out drinking. See how she deals with it, if she is an arse buying each other rounds i'd leave.
You're missing the point. Once she said I want to leave my things at your place, she wants to stay at his place. He should have closed when they got there (and not said I won't try to sleep with you LOL).
If she rejects him fine then he knows where he stands. Why even go to the bar when you have the girl at your place? Something you learn in sales: When the sale is made, stop selling.
Once they got in the uber on the way to the bars, it was clear she lost interest by her being on SC.
The guy made a ton of mistakes but not closing when she gave him the chance was the biggest.
The first thing I always notice about these is the complexity of it for a first date.
The fuck? KISS is so pertinent to game it even serendipitously spells kiss.
"Venue bouncing" or whatever it's called, is shibboleth that hurts you more often than not. More variables = less control and the inverse is just as true. First date is always, something simple, take her to my place, escalate. She is always free to leave when she wants. If we bang she get's another hour or so of my time and then I tell her to leave.
Dating is a skill, like anything else. The more you do it the easier it gets and the less effort you have to put in. When you can go for a coffee and a fuck in less than two hours on a first date, you're doing well.
Nothing in that story made me think she's into him
Here's my biggest gripe with the TRP / AWALT there's no responsibility on yourself.
I've been this guy before absolutely fucking clueless thinking here I am checking all the right boxes and I'm gonna get something out of it.
This guy needs to wake the f***k up and really work on himself and be honest with who he is. Girls like that are a dime a dozen and if you don't bring anything to the table you are SOL. They will eat you up and spit you right back out.
Same thing goes if the roles were around, do you want to be around someone who is basically as damp of a rag as you are, no you don't everyone wants to be around someone more exciting/interesting than themselves its the law of nature and how society works.
TL:DR work on yourself become someone who other people want to hang out with, don't be a doormat for anyone, not your boss, not your friends, and especially not girls in clubs.
The reason why I am here is to work on myself. I can't change how the world works, but I can change how I approach it. Or at least that's how I see it.
I also have been this guy too.... more times than I would like to admit.
Drop the bitch, walk out of the club, and go have a burger. End of story.
Be the Chad.
To paraphrase trump... Sometimes I just grab the hot girl at the club without saying anything, when you’re attractive they let you.
Can’t believe guys like this exists, it’s like they were born Beta with beta genes imprinted onto them since birth. If a date was with me at a club (which I will never fucking do), and she starts dancing with other dudes, I knew I fucked up somehow and I would’ve left that bitch then and there. Dude should’ve talked and tried to get other chicks there.....oh wait he’s beta I forgot
They were not born that way. It is far more insidious than that.
Not having a dad around made me a beta, it’s up to him to either learn from it or keep making the same mistakes.
Lol this shit makes me cringe so much, I could only read the first couple of paragraphs
So what you're saying, focus on the bang and if that doesn't work. gtfo
Man these types of posts hit hard because I know that feeling too well, when you are standing there and realize the girl you're with is not into you and would rather be with some alpha. Thankfully I came across the right information/videos on youtube and reddit.
OK, quick question. Let's say he'd done things more or less right, then take the girl to the club and another dude started grinding on her. What's the best way to end the date right there? Don't know about anyone else, but if my date starts doing that, then I'm cashing out my chips and leaving -- not the type of girl I want to hang out with.
Circumstantial, but i second that sentiment. Ghost and next.
Straight to the door buddy
Holy crap. I lived through the same ordeal so many times during my beta days. Girl is all over you at the start of the night, and two hours later you get dumped like the chump above. At least, I had enough frame to ghost her when she came crying back. That’s why never lose frame boys.
Its hard to witness this shit in person. I was in Vegas a few years ago and I met some girl at a pool party. After the pool party was over we waited in the taxi line to get a cab together. There was this Philippine dude on the line with us who we bullshited with at the party with him and his lady friend. They obviously were just 'Friends' and she was trying to have a good time. He was on the taxi line fucking bawling in tears saying how he dosne't know how she can do this to him. Hooking up and going to another guys hotel while he loves her. He told her he loves her and she always does this to him etc etc. I tried giving this guy a pep talk. It was hard cause people on line were just straight up disrespecting him because quite frankly he was acting like a faggot but some people cant be saved man. This guy was just so far in beta land. Mind you I didn't even know wtf TRP was at the time. I was having my own struggles and happened to spawn this fun alpha attitude because I was in vegas and refused for my recent oneitis breakup to get the best of me. And WTF dude your in Vegas quite being a bitch. But I digress.. I can never imagine getting to where this guy was at though. Even being once beta I dont think I had it in me to get to such a low level.
This is why i come to terms with no really giving people advice anymore either. Some people dont want to be saved. Even if the answer is right there in front of them.
Before taking the pill I made a similar smaller mistake. I failed a Last Minute Resistance shit test.
I took home a HB8 (fitness model and personal trainer). Had a great date. Got her back home. Had a hot make out session including her hanging on me and me pressing her against the wall. Sex seemed assured.
I get her in my bed. Groping and making out continues on both sides. I slide my hand down her pants and she stops me, “I need to let you know I never have sex on the first date.”
I responded that it was fine. That I had a good time and wouldn’t push her. We talked about a second date. She left. Second date never materialized.
If I’d kept going and been persistent things would’ve been very different.
The comments in the original post have surprisingly good advice, they told him to just next her essentially
"Respects the shit out of his date" made me giggle
damn he did make one good movie where he grabbed her around the waist and then the squrare headed chad just went away, must have gotten scared, that made the popsts OP look alpha and I bet she started to get a bit wet. but then he didn't escalate from there
too little too late by that point.
God damn what a cringeworthy account of yet another clueless bluepill beta cuck. You should almost post this whole post on that sub, but the sad thing is that you’ll get labeled a red pill quack/misogynist without reaching through to them at all. The truth has to be seen for themselves, like Morpheus said.
Why would he set up this whole venue you arent into? So fucking dumb.
I felt this guy's pain reading this.
So, what would have been the best way to go about this guy's date? 1) Is not saying anything like "we're not fucking tonight" 2) .........
Why is it always about sex? I mean, not a problem with that, but I was questioned and even mildly criticized for not seeing sex as a goal. It kinda hit my self-esteem back then. I remember there was only one time where I met a woman who I think was the first one I actually wanted to kiss and have sex with. But that required a very strong click
not quite sure how to enterpret that either
This makes no sense to me whatsoever....
He'll respect the shit out of you girl XD
There's a difference between respect and putting someone on a pedestal.
Do we tag these guys to see the thread?
If it's going up they may as well see it.
Unrelatedly, I also prefer places different from where op ended up, that's why I dont take girls there.
lmao this story is just too funny... what a trainwreck
Seriously I can find 1000 posts from those call "'ëxperts"who say the very same thing. Tell her you wont have sex with her or not want to and she wll jump into you asap.
you guys have double standards .
From what I can tell , the guy isn't the most aggressive and yea he makes rookie mistakes , but ive seen hundreds guys like that who end up fucking the girl.
so the assumption is that she didn't like him form the start and just wanted a free drinks night or she was bored or something along those lines.
had the dude been rich those things wouldn't matter she would blow him from the very start.
So at the end its not what you say but how you say it , he's attitude was weak yes but I don't think he had many chances form the beginning
Geez...what a loser. He hasn't quite had his balls thoroughly crushed enough by a female. Until then, it's back to his blue pill dream world.
Unfortunately, I can't unsee this amount of shit. Feel bad for the poor beta, though
OP of that thread:
Provider <-------You are here
Lover <----------Might as well be another universe
He should of left that bitch at the club, now let’s see what he’s going to do next.
One of the top 10 rules of dating is you don't take women to clubs that you haven't banged out yet. It's precisely because of other guys swooping in and fucking up your game.
Also, who brings sand to a beach? If you're dating, clubs are for you and the boys to enjoy. If you're gf or wife is adamant about going to the club, then contracts on on the STDs you're at risk of getting from dating a club slut/bar fly. You and the gf going to the club once in a blue moon is something that's normal. Going all the time though? No. Just no.
I'm looking at this from the Chad's perspective. Why was he scared off by the guy that watched them grind on the dance floor? Did he fear the relentless beta warrior?
Probably felt like it wasn't worth a confrontation over. I would have done the same thing. He took his girl back, I say ok and go somewhere else. No reason to start shit over it.
Just get her number and tell her to Uber to your place later. She can tell the guy to pretend like her Roomate ordered her an Uber back home.
Confrontation? I think just a friendly reminder that she's not his would've sufficed, he already knew that she didn't have a boyfriend.
He had his grind, why take a fight with a bitch.
On second thought - seeing how the chick took an Uber the moment she got her stuff back, it was definitely headed straight back to Chad. She must've asked him to wait a while, I guess.
She wasn’t worth wasting energy on. He just moved on. Drama isn’t fun. What loser fights over a chick he just met? Who cares when there’s another hottie 2 ft away?
Apart from actions of this guy, his demeanour and niceness. This girl seems like a basic generic no substance instagram snapchat bitch. I just hate shit like that, it's a turn off. I have a question.
Do you guys really like these types of girls, and spending time with them or it's just about good fuck? Is there any difference between the two?
A large number of women use social media for validation. Quite challenging to avoid it.
Your sarcasm in this post is top notch sir!
Lesson. Think like a sexual predator but don’t be one
Lesson: Go for it aggressively and shamelessly and stop thinking that normal, healthy, male sexuality and pursuit makes you a predator.
I feel like this sub is filled with virgins who create a collective fantasy where they aren't virgins.
that in no way even relates to OP. WTF are you even babbling about?
Women are sexually attracted to confrontativeness/strong opinion, arrogance/self-assurance, and musculature/physical indicators of a strong work ethic. It won't work on every woman but it works better than being agreeable/not verbalizing strong opinions, reserved/quiet, and skinny/poor. Obviously it's just a numbers game and this sub is the equivalent of throwing darts blindly, all sexual courtship is across species, however in the absence of a brutal natural environment this sub is the equivalent of being told where the dart board is. The next step is of course something more balanced, where men are capable of being vulnerable but entirely self-invested, and this comes from not caring whether or not women like you and focusing on your mission. This will naturally make a man strongly opinionated, confident, and hard-working and vice-versa. TRP is like a shortcut to that endgoal and does so by elucidating that these aspects of character are attractive to women but the message gets pixelated by the multitude of conflicting incomplete interpretations and uninformed opinions.
Is it a perfect system? God no. But it's much more effective than the conditioning society gives them to "just be yourself" because it implies that you don't have to constantly progress in order to even begin to understand who YOU even actually are. Men are raised in a world that attempts to captivate their natural masculinity that comes from being selfish and willing to embrace the unknown, we're slowly turned into doting, lazy and agreeable worker drones for civilization that live boring circular lives in order to support everyone else who chooses to actually push the envelope of possibility and dominate the unknown. TRP certainly won't help most of these guys get laid too much, but it encourages them to break this cycle and leave their comfort zone so they can be selfish agents who take what they want rather than being a ladder rung for those that do.
The blue pill world we live in has driven men to communities like these. We as a gender are getting fed up with women's selfish mating strategies that allow them to divorcerape, accuse, and shame men for daring to be self-interested themselves because it robs women of the only value they have in a relationship, the ability to extract a man's commitment in exchange for pleasing him physically, and so we are opting to use our own selfish strategies. It works incredibly well for men when they do use these strategies and it can naturally lead to a mindset that being an arrogant douchebag is ideal but this ironically completely misses the point and leads to men still worshipping sex/women, just in a way that is considered Red Pill instead of Blue Pill, and so instead of growing into people capable of being strongly opinionated self-assured men with a strong work ethic they stagnate as children who want to simply be the biggest bully in the sandbox, which is replete in society when you look at TRP or simply men who invest their identity and goals heavily into whether or not women find them sexually attractive.
Eventually as society becomes more Red Pill masculine, as we see now with power shifting towards the East, it will become Blue Pill masculine, as we saw with power shifting towards the West up to and during the World Wars. This global cycle of masculine ideals are circular and repeat pretty consistently, but obviously the Blue Pill is just as good/bad as the Red Pill depending on which type of society you live in, but it's also just as flawed, hence the rotation between them as they fight for equilibrium.
Yooo it's not that complicated. Why did you just write me an essay?
It is that complicated. The terms of sexual selection are at the center of civilization and how it works. By evolution's very nature, almost every single thing we've evolved to do has been in direct correlation or causation to courtship and mating. Think about it.
EVERYTHING is biology. And it all boils down to caveman shit.