"Your life is a full-time job. Worry about yourself."
"You don't know what real pain feels like."
"Wear a condom. Don't get her pregnant."
"No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I'll never stop loving you, son."
-My father, nicknamed the Boomerang, because he'd always come back around.
My father became gravely ill these last 2 years. I quit my job, lost 3 more, and finally settled into my career.
I lost my primary residence, couch surfing, and at one point I lived in a leaking shack in a backyard with my father before buying a used, but nice, trailer.
I struggled with money until a 10 year lawsuit was settled. At one point I was mistaken for a homeless man, I was that poor.
I struggled with a vindictive ex that was BPD. She was army and a photoshoot model. HB9, muscles in all the right places. Awesome ass. Worst women I've ever gotten involved with in my entire life. She had become obsessed with me, I had alphawidowed her in the past.
I strangely caught oneitis for a hoodrat who was a HB 6.5. my feelings weren't returned.
I had no friends to speak of. I was a fat, miserable, wretch. I was 60lbs overweight. I was eating garbage, and was a video game addict.
My friend, whom I had alot of common, was struggling with oneitis. He was 26. I had just stumbled upon TRP. I was eager to share the information I was learning.
He died in his sleep, on the job. We were supposed to hang out the day before, but I blew him off because my oneitis wanted to use me as an emotional tampon- I was all too eager to be used.
Shortly after, my father caught a serious illness and was rushed to the hospital.
Everything changed for me that day.
I quit the games. I quit the junk food. I signed myself up for an MMA gym. I got a new job. I got a new place. I got a huge chunk of money. I walked away from my oneitis and never looked back. Keto, fasting, lifting, yoga, MMA, reading, TRP. I was in the best shape of my life.
My struggle had just begun.
My father was released from the hospital with a bacterial infection called C.diff- Diarrhea. My dad also had a constriction of the throat, so he had a tube in his stomach for food. He was like a newborn, he was at 132lb from 225lb just 6 months ago.
I came home to find him laying in a pile of shit that leaked from the sides of the bed. His hands in the air like a cadaver. He cried for help.
I called 911. Tears streaming down my face. I slumped to my knees.
"I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. This is too much. I've reached my limit..."
My dad was taken away by an ambulance. They kept him for a week and sent him back home.
I came home from work to find him on the ground, pants around his ankles, covered in shit, in front of the bathroom. He was shaking and calling for help. He had been laying there for 6 hours. I called 911 again and I held his hand. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry!" I repeated over and over.
They took him away and sent him back a few weeks later.
My father and I laid down in the bed together. He had a distant look in his eyes.
"I'm too sick, son. There's no coming back from this."
I cried like a bitch. He's never been wrong before.
Something in me broke that day. An understanding. The person I saw in the mirror that day was not the man I had daydreamed of. I had always told myself, "when the chips are down, you can count on me! I'm a bad ass, if only the world knew! One day, I'll be someone important! Just you wait!"
I got angry. A deep anger that had one message for me-
NO MORE!
I stood up straight. I wiped my tears away. I grit my teeth. I clasped my dad's hand. I looked him in the eye. I said-
"After everything you've been through, after how far you've come, this is where you call it quits!?"
"Is this going to be the moment the man I've looked up to my whole life is going give up? Was I wrong about you!?"
"Are you going to be remembered as the weakling that died in this shit town, inside a crappy trailer, with no friends or family surrounding your bedside?"
"This is not who you are. I haven't given up. I'll change your diaper everyday, if that's what it takes. We've come too far to give up now."
"If you give up now. All the pain, the anger, the humiliation. It will be for nothing."
"Look at yourself properly at what kind of man you want to be."
I watched his face change. I saw his eyes well up. I felt his hand clench mine. I saw his mouth tighten into a thin line. A look of determination fell across his face.
I saved my dad's life that day.
Before you try and save the world. Before you talk about starting a movement.
Look into the mirror.
Do you see a man worth following?
Worry about yourself before you start worrying about anyone else.
Fix your shit before you start trying to fix anything else.
You're nothing special. You can't even tell your boss no. If you can't even stand up for yourself, how the hell are you supposed stand for anything else?
There comes a time in every man's life where bravado is no longer enough. You've run out of time.
All that's left is for you to take action. Rubber to road. Thought into action. Times up! Move. Your. Feet!
You're only a ghost in a shell of you let yourself become one. Show everyone that they were wrong about you. Show everyone they counted you out too soon.
If you want to be a legend, you have to do some legendary shit.
Be a warrior, not a soldier.
A soldier dies for another man's cause.
A warrior dies for his own.
Thank you for sharing. Your title, and what you wrote, reminded me of this poem. Apologize for formatting, on mobile.
The Guy in the Glass
by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
The guy in the mirror was disgusted by what he saw.
Now? He's my best friend and my number one fan.
Thanks for sharing this poem.
Class poem mate. This is such a strange but good point. So many people I've looked up to when i was younger could never do this - they hated photos, they hated looking at themselves. I guess because they relied on what people thought of them. They wanted to instil the illusion that they really were a king not just another person.
Fuck. That one hit me hard.
This. This is why I return to this sub everyday. It's inspiring to see men rise to the challenges of life and face them head on.
My father was a soldier. I just unboxed a picture about 3 feet wide of his entire platoon, like 300 guys all standing together. As I scoured the faces of all the young boys, I was startled when I came to his face. This clearly wasn't a boy, but a man. Had a shit eating grin a mile wide while holding his rifle. He looked like more of a man than the COs.
My dad taught me as a boy to take cold showers. He told me sugar is poison, don't ever eat that garbage. Every Bastille day, no matter where we lived, he'd take his 30-06 rifle and fire a couple of rounds off. His favorite saying was "talk is cheap". He looked 40 years old until the day he was 70. He came down with emphysema in his late 70s, and was facing an iron lung and all the family money eaten up by doctors.
His last day he took himself out where he wouldn't be found by anyone and used his 30-06 rifle to end it all. No one in the family could understand why he did it. I understand now. My father was a soldier.
Thanks for sharing this. Powerful and how I remember men to be men.
Is all sugar bad? Even the one I put in my tea to sweeten it? Genuinely curious
Processed sugar is unnatural and damages insulin regulation. Use stevia instead.
One of the last things my grandfather said to my father was “son, you gotta let me go.”
He had turned 80, lived a complete life, and was suffering with a heart problem. Quality of life was near 0.
He had decided to stop postponing a second bypass (10 years after the first) and just face it. He knew he had maybe a 10% chance of making it and he was prepared.
He was a grit-your-teeth and face it type of man for 80 years. He was just staring this last chapter in the face.
In this particular case (not saying it’s yours - but for some who read your post it might apply) it would have been selfish for my dad to demand my grandfather fight. To demand he postpone the surgery, do something else that would prolong the suffering, or just attempt to control his father’s outlook would have been cruel as well.
He went into the surgery in peace, not fear or struggle, because he knew his boy was finally ok without him.
I've completely turned my life around.
For the first time in my life, my dad got to see me as a man.
I didn't want my dad's last memories of me to be that of a snivelling, fat, beta simp with anger issues.
If I let my dad go that day, the part I loved about myself would die with him.
I refuse to yield.
You're right, one day my dad will die. It will be time for him to go. There will be nothing I can do then.
But that day won't be today. Not if I have anything to say about it.
I love what you’re saying and appreciate your post very much.
I’m curious how old you are.
This is a good post, and thank you for sharing something so deeply personal with us.
But I must make one addendum to it.
Do not change with the expectation that people are watching.
Do not look over your shoulder in the vain hope that the people who left you are now regretting their decision.
They made a calculated decision to leave based on the investment you represented. It's YOUR fault they left in the first place. Your sloth made the choice easy for them. And you would have done the same thing. Hell, TRP preaches leaving your loser friends in the dust for the sake of self-interest.
Proceed with that lesson. Fight for the sake of your mission, and become the kind of man that anyone would want to keep around.
I'll be doing a write up illustrating this. I have the perfect example.
Looking forward to it.
Congratulations on your new knighthood, Sir Chadwick. There are plenty of peasants that need motivational beatings.
Your post reminded me of Jordan B. Peterson’s book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
Rule 6: Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.
Stopped at rule 3.
His book was good at the beginning, but it was just a rehash of shit that I already figured out the hard way last year.
It's a good place to start for all who didn't, and a good place to return to when you need a refresher.
It was abit to bible bashing for me. I didn’t finish it.
I actually thought he was deeply religious. I was wrong
I've said time and time again only through struggle we can become men. Only by facing challenges and conquering them can we better ourselves. Easy life makes us weak, makes us complacent.
I've watched my father suffocate to death in a hospital bed through lung cancer, 6 months after he was diagnosed. I was a philosophy graduate starting on the academic ladder, I hated talking to "ignorant" people. And suddenly, I had a bar, a lot of debt because of treatments and supplements and zero people skills. I used to be Chad, but after a breakup I had gained a lot of weight and basically became an incel. You know, the usual story. Fat nerd who thought everyone else was stupid.
My father's family didn't like my mother, so they didn't help with anything. My father's friends and I had to organize everything with the funeral and I just had this massive burden dumped on top of my shoulders. So I did the only thing I could, said goodbye to my dreams and became what I needed to be. Turns out a man can become anything if he wants to survive. "What are you going to do now?" people asked me. "Whatever I must do" I told them. Knowing about stoicism gave me the spine I needed to make the hard decisions.
It was shit at the start, but over the years by overcoming challenges and minimizing the damage from the stuff I fucked up, I've managed to pay off the debt and earn the respect of people around me. And that's really all it takes. Consistently trying to become better and not giving up. But I think everyone needs to get to a critical point where something just turns on in their brain, otherwise 99% of the advice in here and in asktrp is wasted.
beautiful, I’m grateful for this special movement and the stories and teachings spread
we’ve come a long way since our inception but I am confident that we are the thought leaders of the present and future
people will look back on figures like rollo tomassi and roisy as truly being the forerunners for a massive global movement, it’s just not as obvious now because we as a group are working on an individual level to improve ourselves. we rarely take the time to appreciate how that change is manifested across the greater culture.
My dad was banging strippers like it was going out of style 10 years ago. He wore socks with Velcro sandals. He explained frame, game, the importance of health, although he didn't know the trp terminology.
I figured he was an old perverted idiot.
It took a forum full of strangers to show me how full of shit I was.
Dude this was a tremendous and fire-invoking story, I had to call my old man and tell him how much I looked up to him. Thanks for this.
Buy that mothafucka flowers next vday.
Damn where did all these onions come from
This is strength. Thank you brother for the perspective. And for giving me a glimpse of how stoicism can improve our life.
Damn. I'm gonna frame this and put it up on my bedroom wall so it's the first thing I look at everyday in the morning.
alot of people myself included needed to read this. thank you
I never thought I would cry to a Reddit post, but I'm sure as hell glad it's this one.
Get your T-Levels checked, pussy.
Oh I will, and while I'm getting my T-levels checked I'll ask them to make sure I have as high of a T-level as guy replying " Get your T-Levels checked, pussy. "to a comment in witch someone got touched by an awesome emotional story . Cause let's be honest, what is a true man if not a guy hateing in the comments of an emotional post from his moms basement.
Relax dude. Understand sarcasm.
Hilarious. You're spot on.
Reading this was a roller coaster of emotions for me, beautiful, sad and inspiring in the same time. I really wish you all the best, mate.
This post has shook me more than any book I've read in my life. That says I should read more but it also says you're a legend OP, thanks for sharing your story.
Dan, cried on this one. Literally just went through something like this with my father.
And I thought my older “brother” screaming at my face and threatening me was something, I should’ve delivered the punch across his thin, tall face, doesn’t help that my father, whose closing to his 80s, gave him a villa to ease his marriage process and refuse to do the same to me, not even a plot of land he has or an apartment, yet I still sit with my father and entertain him.
Out of all those FR, oneitis posts and pseudo-alphas, your post shines like a diamond, or it can be said, a precious drop out of a sea of mediocrity.
Thank you for being an inspiring man to all those around you, the world, full of people glueing their gaze mostly into their smartphones while missing many life opportunities, need exceptional men like you.
You are a man worth following.
One of my best friends would always make a comment when we were out drinking. If I mentioned a woman in the room he would respond, "talk about it, be about it."
My step brother was struggling in life. He was paying for a post wall hag, trapped in a dead bedroom. He was only 26. He was treated like an idiot by everyone.
I fed him little trp truths here and there. Lift, eat right, etc.
I sat across the table and gave him a speech similar to my dad's. I clasped his hand.
"Don't you want better for yourself?"
"Make all the pain, the humiliation, the anger, make all of it mean something! Don't let it go to waste!"
"Show the world they were wrong about you!"
I watched him close his eyes. Tears started to stream down his face.
He confessed to me that he was molested by his uncle for years. I was the only person he told.
I hugged him.
He threw down his debit card at my MMA gym.
"Sign me up."
It's a terrible day for rain.
Man, this was fucking powerful. There's no better feeling than owning your shit. Going to bed at night knowing you didn't avoid the difficult things, knowing that you improved as a man. Thank you.
I needed this today. Thank you.
It was inspiring to read. Whenever I'm falling off the wagon, running low on energy, thinking how fucked up shit is and I'm shouldering em all, stories like this remind me that it can always get worse or be worse.
Good luck to you and hope your father is stable.
I wish I could say the same words to my father and remain the truth... :/
Shit, someones cutting onions.
That's fucking MOTIVATION !!!!
Truly moving, motivational, and inspiring.
Thank you for your story.
I needed to read this. wow. that hit home. Cheers to you my man, and to your father.
There's not much that tickles my emotions these days (beyond listening to Winston Churchill's wartime speeches) but this did. I salute you sir!
This is what this sub is about. Life is suffering, but you get to suffer in your own way.
Thanks for this....dealing with my own shit, for some odd reason reading something like this helps.
Thank you so much, for sharing your story! Everything you wrote hit me so hard.
Great post mate ... the only person you have to live with is yourself so you might as well be as good as you can.
When I was younger (in my late teens early 20's) I didn't 'feel like' the man I saw in the mirror ... he didn't look like 'I felt' ... it was a weird disconnect that took a few years to get past ... and my father was the last person I would've talked to about it, had he been alive (I've got great genetics but I was shy AF and it took quite a while for me to overcome my shyness, accept my 'good looks' and make the most of them without being a conceited dick at the same time as I was still an opinionated smart arse without much of a clue, like most teenagers)
my father died when I was 17 and we had never been very close, in retrospect I think he didn't know how to be 'closer' to me. He was a good provider but he also expected a lot from me so when he died I was somewhat relieved!
I have friends who are 'best mates' with their 30+yo sons, but I know none of them were very close with their fathers, it's a weird dynamic to watch as many of my peers have been "experimental parents" born of the New Age and they've made many mistakes. This guy sums it up perfectly imo.
How is your dad now? Has he recovered.
Clostridium Difficile has begun affecting a lot of people in the US in past few decades ... I got dysentry a few years back and for two days I felt I was dying! Not just 'sick' but fucking dying! I shit you not. So I can fully understand how so many babies die from it, that's one mofo of a bacteria!
Have you tried to include your father on your health focused lifestyle?
Frame. Stoicism. That's how you get close to your son.
If you cannot understand yourself, you can cannot understand your son.
My mother was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive.
"Dad, why did you have me?"
"I wanted a best friend, but I couldn't find one. So I made one."
"Why did you choose mom, though? She was such a bitch and made my life a living hell."
"I looked for the physically healthiest and hardiest women around. I figured we could overcome any mental damage you'd suffer. The only thing I wouldn't be able to give you is a new body."
My dad is the real Endorsed Contributor behind this name. He inspired me through his lifelong struggles. The part of me that I love would die with him.
Be the man you want to your son to be. That's all there is to it. If you sit there, secretly eating garbage, jerking off to porn, crying over your oneitis, etc. Kids pick up on the behaviors that lead to that.
My dad is not a slave. My dad is not an addict.
Weaponize your anger.
Thus, I'm not a slave. I'm not an addict.
Unfortunately, the op transpired 6 months ago. My dad is in the hospital right now. He underwent a life saving surgery for his throat last week, and some of the phlegm is in his lungs. I'll write another post about his struggle. A day hasn't gone by that I haven't visited this man in the hospital whenever he's admitted.
My dad's struggles stem from being raised by a single mother who proceeded to feed him candy and soda. My father contracted diabetes and has suffered from it's effects since childhood.
I would say my health fitness, Wim Hof method, warrior monk style of training is a result of watching my father struggle with lifelong health issues. TRP came after. It's ironically sad in a way: I've saved lives and have inspired young men at the gym, but the only person I want to save seems too far gone to save.
Like I said, I'll post another story. He hasn't shown positive for c.diff, but we're still struggling with the pneumonia. My dad is also on dialysis, so unfortunately any keto/fasting diet will be complicated. Rest assured that if there's any possibility this man can live, I will seize it. I will make that possibility into reality.
idk what to say ... but I sincerely wish you all the best however it goes.
I'm sure your dad is as proud as a peacock of you, well done son
"If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle" from Art of war, this shit has literally been being preached for centuries, it always comes back to you
Exceptional book from ancient times.
This is amazing. Inspiring. Good on you brother. I hope things keep looking up for you!
Thank you for posting this. That couldn't have been easy to type.
Probably the easiest thing I've done these last 2 years, all things considered.
this was extremely well written !!! i had the fortune/misfortune of watching cancer eat my father alive...he died a shadow of his former self.
the experience taught me a myriad of lessons; most important among them is to NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF !
There comes a time in every man's life where bravado is no longer enough. You've run out of time.
All that's left is for you to take action. Rubber to road. Thought into action. Times up! Move. Your. Feet!
You're only a ghost in a shell of you let yourself become one. Show everyone that they were wrong about you. Show everyone they counted you out too soon.
If you want to be a legend, you have to do some legendary shit.
Perfectly Phrased.
again, THANK YOU for posting.
This is why I come back to this sub
How old are you ?
And I think this would make a powerful short movie.
I'm 29.
Right now, even with all the crazy shit I've been through, my life is still not worth watching yet.
Don't you all worry, I guarantee you'll see me on TV before I'm 40. And it won't be on America's most wanted, either.
underappreciated or perhaps overlooked piece of wisdom right there.
You posted this on my birthday but I'm just seeing it.
I am currently a student studying abroad in Spain so that I could learn Spanish. A few hours ago I got back to my host house after seeing Barcelona play. I vowed that I would see Messi, Iniesta, and Busquets play once in my life before they retired, and my parents gifted me a trip to the city to watch the game.
I worked hard enough to get my grades up to be able to study abroad, I took the plunge to move away from family and friends, and I learned how to travel alone and make it through cities, speaking the Spanish I learned and meeting people in all parts of the country. Yet when I got home, I barely could look at myself in the mirror after the trip because I wouldn't have been able to do this without my parents' money. I wouldn't be in college without them. I chose to go to a school that is incredibly expensive because I was too prideful to go to a local community college when I was younger, and I felt as though the name would help me get a job after school. I got no scholarships besides extremely basic need based aid because I was a lazy bum in high school who didn't understand the responsibilities I hold as a man. I turned 21 two days ago, and I've completely turned my life around since last year, but I've only had extremely minimal forms of income in the forms of school and summer jobs tutoring writing, working as a chef/dishwasher, and other things, but nothing I could have done to afford this. I am so grateful to my parents and I understand it was a birthday gift, but not being able to pay for this on my own made me feel like I was taking advantage of them, and this post showed me how difficult it can get and how quickly they may need me to be a man for them. I can't do that without income.
Your story is incredible. Thank you for sharing. It gave me more motivation to research and keep learning about products that I can work towards creating and jobs I can work towards getting.
It doesn't matter how much you make, it's how you spend it that matters.
Work towards being a free man. Break your shackles.
All the money in the world couldn't buy what my dad needed then: a man who had freedom and the strength to make sure they stayed that way.
All of this rings true. Every day is an opportunity to be better than before. These financial shackles are the only thing holding me back from being able to be confident in myself right now. I will get a good job.
It's been awhile since I've been on this subreddit.
Thank you.
No wonder there's no EC comments. This post doesn't offer much other than a typical short burst of motivation and an little advice for looking after yourself.
Yet this post got the guy (ketogainsmoose) endorsed
Well yeah, I think that’s the point though. I feel most people have a pretty good idea about what needs to be done (in regard to looking after yourself) but struggle to take the initiative at times. This post in particular definitely resonated with me far more than anything else I’ve recently read on TRP.
Plenty of meta posts illustrating the how.
I'm making a post to illuminate the why.
I'm still learning and my life has never been struggle, I'm kind of playing on very easy mode till now. So I may not resonate with this post. I expressed what I felt. I respect ECs a lot, You're an EC now so there must be something I have yet to learn. I hope, I'll get it someday. And I also think whys are more important. Congratulations.
Don't sweat it.
This post is only a piece for your own puzzle.
You'll find out where it fits once you start fleshing out the edges of the picture.