This is the original thread.
Ex-Wife sends death threats to husband when husband reveals to their kids (aged 15 and 16) that they divorced because of her infidelity.
What happens? + 268 points
I want to point out that what you did is classic parental alienation.I don't care if she banged every pizza boy for 10 zip codes. You need to separate her actions against you, with her rights and duties as a parent to her children. Using your issues with her (however valid) to drive a wedge between her and her kids is not only wrong, but she could absolutely take you to court over it and possibly win. You have violated her parental rights. You need to make some amends.
Great fucking legal advice! Just what this guy came here for. To hear some armchair neckbeards talk about how his wife is the victim and this idiot goes so far as to saying that he needs to make AMENDS with a potentially hostile woman.
And then there's the classic projection from White Knights, Incels, and SJWs.
Honestly, the more I read this guy's posts the more I realize why the wife decided that infidelity and leaving him was the way to go. I'm not saying she had that the right way round, but I don't blame her for wanting out of the marriage.
Isn't it amazing how much push back this simple concept is getting here? A lot of people who don't understand how to handle adult problems like mature adults.
I know right? That woman shouldn’t be threatening the father of her children! Oh, wait, you think the woman threatening to kill someone is the victim...because the actual victim dared tell his kids the hard truth when they asked?
Legal advice is a shithole.
And now here's the original BOLA thread. Another thread filled with classic assumptions. LAOP talks reasonable and is coherent in his tone, he MUST be a narcissistic abuser and manipulating asshole and the wife is a victim! Everyone even going against this is down-voted.
Then OP posts an update. He confronts his ex wife in a reasonable manner and offers her a way to repair her relationship with his kids. He even tells them about how he was not the "best lover" and that she should be forgiven and that he "forgives" her.
bestoflegaladvice continues to maintain that OP is a psychopath and a manipulative jerk who has "hurt" his kids.
LAOP is still insufferable. Those poor kids :(
Clearly. The father responds in the thread, presenting himself in an eloquent and organized manner. He even attempts to repair the relationship between his ex and his kids.
Apparently the kids are "unlucky" to have such a caring and kind father. He should have lied to them forever. Lying fixes everything right?
"I believe I handled this perfectly." isn't very humble.
Sure, that was cocky. Better call him a sociopath, then!!! Better say that he thinks he's a God!
Like those statement aren't extreme and overly confident in one's abilities to judge character.
Of course he isn't an angel. What a stupid concept. And he's admitted as much. So why are you castigating him so hard for not being fucking angelic? You've been frothing at the mouth over this guy's story, calling him a monster. Where's your halo?
Downvoted. Why? Because apparently OP is supposed to be this infallible angel and the poor womyn is being oppressed by such a kind father who, supposedly, forgave her cheating and even tried to help her repair her relationship with the kids.
You can even go to church everyday before breakfast, but what you told here is just awful. You think you are a type of God who can manipulate the emotions of your kids. You are even a worse parent than one that cheats. Thats why you got so many downvotes. You arent seeing reality. Again, this is what you considered to share. Im scared about what other terrible things you do to those poor kids. Instead of helping them. Terrible.
+41 upvotes. OP is getting savaged.
Oh, and how could one forget! The infantilization of two teenagers. Apparently they should be kept in the dark about why their world was shaken to the core. Apparently, they are too young and stupid to understand that their mother was a whore and that their world was shattered because of it. And supposedly, they aren't able to think for themselves and are clearly being manipulated by, as armchair psychologist eloquently puts, a sociopath.
And people wonder why men face difficulty in family courts.
edit: thanks for gold!
It’s amazing how this woman can just get off the hook for saying batshit crazy stuff and have a whole reddit parade for her.
Welcome to the dichotomy of modern feminism, where strong independent womenTM have no agency or responsibility for their actions, they are simultaneously just as strong as men in every way, yet can’t be held responsible for their personal actions in life as perpetual victims.
This twoness is inbuilt in their minds and essential to them. It's their identity, not just a mantel they wear (there's no internal "detached mind's eye that observes and knows their duplicity, and what they are really doing. Ergo, they have a hundred selves at once/they never have a real self. Ergo, learn how they can be used, stick to the instruction booklet, and don't hope for more.)
Welcome to victimhood. Requirements are: Don't be male or Caucasian.
You can be caucasian just no penis
Or have a femanine penis + take estrogen
Even better results then, because then they can pull out the "omg why are you so transphobic" card
why is this shit leaking everywhere (like a gay man's asshole)? so tired of hearing about gross trannies, sorry to say
I've seen "straight black men are the straight white men of the black community" as well.
They're literally fucking encouraging abuse. This is a form of abuse, and they're playing victim. I have gone all the way around from seething anger to utter dead calm.
Neah, the guy plays the victim just as much and worse still -- in front of his children.
It's ok to tell children the truth IF/WHEN they can understand it and IF AND WHEN they ASK for it.
But for fuck's sake, don't be a wimpy bitch and involve your children in your bitter vendetta against your whore wife.
Just because she cheated on his beta ass doesn't mean she doesn't love her children or that she's a bad mother.
He made that last part clear I thought, and that they asked for it. Could he have handled it a hell of a lot better? Yeah. Definitely. However, the kids asked for it, they were 16 that's old enough to have an understanding and start making independent decisions, and even if he was being vindictive about it that doesn't give her the right to threaten death and having internet armchair psychologists berate him and not at all acknowledge that a crime has been committed in threatening to kill him and that there's a creation of an abusive relationship there, well, shitheads. Also don't go "beta ass" bullshit, fuck off with that shit.
Yes, I was talking about him threatening her that he'll tell his children about her threats, I'm sure the kids didn't ask him about that.
He has every right to tell the kids the truth if they demand it.
Well that's a response to having your life threatened, but the threat should be to go to the police not the kids, it's an understandable response to having your life threatened though and just try to get her to stop.
Fuck that shit. Wife turns whore, cheats, and I catch the bitch? You’re damn right OUR children will hate you. YOU DID IT YOURSELF, unforgivable. Actions have consequences. She chose her grave.
This in the comments is what just rustles the jimmies.
Oh, like fucking around on the pair bond and literally destroying the family unity? She gets a pass on that, but informing the kids of WHY they have no family isn't ok? Fucking cunt (the person that posted that comment). You know what is emotionally destructive to kids? When the world you tell them about and the world they see is different. They aren't stupid. They know someone or both of them fucked up. They should understand causes and effects instead of fearing all they are told is a lie.
Of course, she shouldn't be cut off from her kids. She sure as hell ohs them an apology and atonement though.
And yes, this would be the same if the man did it.
Just ask yourself. Would a man who thinks he is right and has some spine come to reddit to get validated in the first place? Honestly I am curious what would have happend if he said he is muslim or some other special caste on the victim totem pole.
Someone make a throwaway account, post the same thing with sexes reversed
Not now. A month or so is a good idea.
Keep us updated. In curious as to how this will turn out.
The experiment has been done now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
!RemindMe 2 weeks
RemindMe! 2 weeks
The experiment has been done now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
Or just see if op will switch roles. Come out and say “I’m actually the mother in this relationship”.
The experiment has been done now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
Please do this in like 2-3 weeks and let us see the results and post on TRP it will be interesting.
RemindMe! 3 weeks !RemindMe 3 weeks
Just changing my message so it doesn't like spam, but the experiment has been done: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
Just changing my message, but the experiment has been done: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
RemindMe! 4 weeks
This should be fun
Much fun was had: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
RemindMe! 3 weeks
Seriously I wanna laugh
looks like it happened: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
RemindMe! 3 weeks
I'll also need some laughs if I'm not rich by then
a later reminder than you expected: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
!RemindMe 2 weeks RemindMe! 2 weeks that will be interesting
yup it was 3 months instead of 2 weeks but someone still did it: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
Remind me! 4 weeks
!Remind me 4 weeks
Guys i hope this remind stuff is not a troll bait lol
It has been done: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
RemindMe! 3 weeks "Prepare for your mental state to be raped by double standards"
The experiment has been done now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
!RemindMe 3 weeks RemindMe! 3 weeks
Reminded 3 months later: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
!RemindMe 2 weeks RemindMe! 2 weeks
experiment performed: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
Someone needs to do this experiment.
here ya go: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
RemindMe! 3 weeks !RemindMe 3 weeks
christmas came early: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
!RemindMe 2 weeks
RemindMe! 2 weeks
we have the data now: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
Now would be a good time to do it
they waited another month: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
You don't need to do experiments when you already know the results.
[deleted]
Don't be daft.
You don't need a control when there have been hundreds of previous controls. We don't need a fucking control to know that if I leave an expensive bike in a populated metropolitan area unchained for 24 hours, it's as good as gone.
We already know this game. We know the outcome, we know the sexes are treated differently. This is literally ALL this subreddit talks about... with example upon example, upon example given.
So I'll repeat what my friend has said, yet again.
You don't need to do experiments when you already know the results.
And I'll go a step further: If you need to actually see the control play out given overwhelming evidence, you're an idiot.
Nothing and no one is above scientific method
Another no thought length of a tweet response.
"The scientific method" approach to problems forms understandings that are held and executed on after the fact. What does that mean. If we find out Vitamin C has a positive effect on 10,000 out of 10,000 people in a study, you would then come to the conclusion that Vitamin C is good for everyone. You wouldn't have every subsequent individual run their own glorified science experiment, this isn't the way the world works. When the RDA makes minimum guidelines, they're basically saying "based on our research and general knowledge, we assume as truth that you need these things in your body". They don't need to physically come to you and conduct an experiment on you. You use the "scientific method" to establish a truth, and then you abide by the truth until that same method evolves or disproves that truth.
TheRedPill largely is a movement that is AHEAD of science. A lot of studies and science are confirming what RP, and the originators of RP, have known and taught for a long time.
People place WAY too much value on science. It's one form of feedback and knowledge. Guess what? When people were practicing meditation back in the prehistoric ages, did they have or need science to confirm is efficacy? Science confirmed LATER that meditation had provable benefits. Is there any chance that someone with your mindset would have came up with meditation, something that science emphatically embraces now? No, because you depend on science for your truth, ignoring that a great deal of science is spurred on by someone who knew the truth (or had a hunch about it) prior to it being scientifically proven (hypothesis) Let's go further: Does the natural place any value on science? No, else he wouldn't be the natural.
There's a TON of bullshit science. We know from experience that the scientific world is subject to the same corruption and misinformation as any other body of authority is.
So essentially you've lost this on multiple fronts. Scientific method proves truths and then the truths are used until changed or disproven. When I say you don't need a control for this specific situation, it's because hundreds if not thousands of similar controls exist on this subreddit, and you'd know that had you been here for a while. Science is but one form of feedback, and science is largely pushed forward by hypothesis, which is someone having a hunch about something before it's medically or scientifically proven... in fact, if people didn't have this inclination, science would be almost useless. And lastly, some of the best teachings in the WORLD at their inception had absolutely no correlation with science.
Don't be one of these people who think science is the end all be all, else you wouldn't fucking be here, you'd be nose deep in some scientific tome. You want science, go to the science subreddit and fuck off with that fanaticism, it has no place here.
deleted What is this?
[deleted]
I don't understand. Fence sitters already can search through hundreds if not thousands of examples on this site. I think an important part of the teachings is to trust in their consistency. You shouldn't have to find out your girlfriend, or another girl, isn't a unicorn the hard way. I think collectively all of the"controls" go a great deal towards grounding this idea of AWALT, but I don't think the right mindset is wanting to see an example play out in every single situation. Essentially what I'm saying, is if someone wants to chime in with their example....cool! If a beginner needs an example because they're like "but but but we're treated equally" then they just need to lurk here longer. And I think you and I know how this plays out if the sexes are swapped since we've seen this "experiment" play out tons of times on this sub: "oh identical post, changes genders, completely different responses, call out that 2 identical posts got different responses, deletion of thread".... Right? I've seen this specific type of post so many times it's boring at this point.
Tl:dr; controls help from a broad perspective, but is by no means required as was implied. We want to instill the teachings so that new people KNOW how a situation will play out without having to see the example every time. That's also an important part of the RP maturation process. They should not need a control for every specific situation (their own girlfriend, etc)
deleted What is this?
What this subreddit avoid talking about is the different tratment is a responsibility of, unfortunately, many psycho-weak males.
Well looks like /u/IBEWDC did check and the control worked out like (I) expected.
yup been a couple more like this,
experiment in 2 months prediction:
"your kids should know the truth how much a asshole he is for cheating on you, you are a strong wymn for telling your kids"
"Get a lawyer a soon as possible. You need to have a restraining order put up against this piece of shit. HE THREATENED TO HURT YOU GIRL. This is a crime. You have my full support my brave lady :)."
Kinda different: http://archive.is/ZP1XU
People still called it parental alienation, but with a different tone.'
http://archive.is/ZP1XU
Exactly, that plus men do not equal women. The experiment proves that water is wet and nothing more.
[deleted]
Good job, deserves a new post to be honest.
I'm not surprised about the results. Good patience though!
And thanks for sharing.
I do this all the time when I've got down time and am curious to see human psychology at play...
I post weeks after hoping the original has been forgotten about, tweak what I need to, let it run for a few days, than link to the original... I haven't done it in a while but it's amazing to see people's reactions and justifications... the lengths people will go through to preserve their ideology...
Do you have any links or specific commentary on some of your experiments? Or can you point me to any other experiments that have been done in this realm?
I wish I did, like I said it's been a while, (I generally use fresh throwaway accounts, that would be my only advice, as it's happened a time or two where people look into your history).
Try it out if you want, next time you find a sexist bullshit post, take it, switch the nouns and post it... I never put much energy into it. It doesn't always "take" but every now and again you get some mind boggling replies, it's great when people can have honest conversations about the hypocrisy of it all (it has happened where people were able to admit unfair double standards).
I'd be very interested to see some of these
Yeah, I wish I had active account to show, someone else expressed interest too, I haven't done it in a while tho, I'll be upfront and say it doesn't always work (ie, sometimes people actually understand the double-standards and are reasonable) but sometimes you get some doozy's. I generally always do these things with throw away accounts, I found it didn't work so well when you have history people could look into.
I've seen other people do this tho and post screen caps, but I'm really unsure where I've stumbled upon these caps... and am too lazy to look up... if anyone has ideas, they should step in a link them. I only ever tried it because it was suggested by others...
The lengths they will go to feel OK being as programmed and dishonest as (their programming and nature make them) they be, without knowing any of it consciously.
The lengths.
flip the sexes nad it will be KIDS DESERVE THE TRUTH THEY NEED TO KNOW WHOS THE MONSTER WHO DESTROYED THE FAMILY blahblabblah. I dont know how this shit is frightening and funny at the same time.
Can we decide on what the throwaway account name will be now so I can search for the post later?
Can we name it “ThrowAwayDeathThreats123” or something. I really want to see this.
Make sure we comment things like this
And then have someone post something like /u/Siren_Of_Madness
I wonder how Reddit will react. Hey Madness, you should be fucking ashamed for saying that. You're the type of person that deserves to be in an actual abusive relationship.
[permanently deleted]
Report this stuff instead of throwing a tantrum. Yes, it's not appropriate and I'm removing it now. No, I didn't remove your comment--automod did. I am banning you now, because of the tantrum, but don't worry, I'm not done.
Please do this and re-post it!!!!
The poster in that thread seems like it's a troll so I wouldn't doubt it. Seems overly set on what to say, and not seeking advice at all more than just factually laying out events. Most people who don't want certain advice in unsure situations still just agree and ignore, they don't usually provoke.
Expect to see lots of praise heaped upon OP for being a "strong, independent womyn" and calls for OP's "husband" to go to prison for life.
Agreed. I had the same thought while reading those crappy comments
[deleted]
PSA: we usually ban all bots, so don't bother. Not picking on you specifically, just getting this out there. Carry on.
Well I hope I remember to check
A couple options:
https://outlook.live.com/owa/
https://calendar.google.com/calendar/r?pli=1
Or the tried and true method that doesn't index and data mine your life: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calendar
Someone treats you terribly (betraying your trust, ruining your marriage). But you are the bad person by just telling people about it. These people being old enough to form their own opinions. What the fuck is this logic?
Maybe we shouldn't report crimes now. It may hurt the criminal's feelings. And ruin their relationship with their family if they found out. That is called "emotional manipulation" yo.
Infidelity definitely hurt our kids. In fact, the reason I found out was because it did.
I was on a business trip for a weekend and my wife was in charge of the household for those two days. My kids had this event at their school (I think it was a game or a competition) around 8 PM or so. Anyways, their mother said she would pick them up. The event ended around 10 PM. She arrived past midnight.
Fortunately, there were custodians in the building but my kids waited in a nearly abandoned building for two hours in the dead of night. They told me immediately once I came back. My wife told me she had some "work" to attend to. Bullshit.
With a little bit of digging, I found her Tinder profile. She was having sex with a random guy instead of picking up her own kids.
You're a good dad. Your kids are better off not being around such a psycho bitch.
[deleted]
Thanks for the support. I will check it out when I have time.
Report her threats to the police. Show her threats to your lawyer, and ask him if its useful in securing a more favorable custody/support arrangement for you.
How is that gaslighting? Its just plain lying. Gaslighting would be once she is caught in the lie she tries to convince him that he is crazy for not believing the lie. At least to my understanding.
The cucks on the legal advice subreddit were gaslighting him by trying to convince him that he was some sort of monster for telling his teenagers that their mom was too busy fucking Chad to pick them up from school.
deleted What is this?
Even if you don´t agree with it the legal advice was on point. Its not a matter if its fair or not, but the truth is that his ex wife can take him to town he if she so desired to and the court system would support her 100%.
The other thing is, why would the guy tell his kids about their mother´s cheating? She might be awalt and all that crap but she´s still their mother.
I don´t see who benefits from crying to the kids that you spouse cheated on you.
He should hedge his bets and make ammends before the crazy bitch tries to get back at him.
He should be more careful what he talks to his children about, they are not his buddies they are his kids.
[deleted]
Odds are his kids are gonna resent HIM for bad mouthing their mother. Mothers are sacred to most men. Thats the reason "son of a bitch" and "motherfucker" are insults.
I can't comment on if your a good dad or even a good person I know very little. I can't even comment about your wife as I know only what you have told us. But I do know that at 15 and 16 your children have a right to know and can make their own decisions. Good on you
That was my reasoning as well. It made me a little dejected how people were calling me abusive and just like my father but all that did was reaffirm that I did the right thing. Those people remind me of the same scumbags that revered my father and ignored the abuse we faced under his rule.
Well as people here say : you dont find theredpill , but theredpill finds you, so when you have time read the sidebar , buckle up your seatbelt cause it is going to be a bumpy ride!
welcome to the red pill
Most people will side with abusers in any setting (while telling themselves they are supporting "what's"/"who's" right, needless to say!)
They will "condemn violence" and "be against violence", but what violence? The out-moded one society no longer approves of (while it supports and approves new, more feminine types of violence); and the violent (usually direct and visible and loud) reaction of the trampled-on and abused against the abusers (who, being Those with the Power, enjoy to do their violence in a disguised indirect way).
That's what you can expect from the others.
The thing about abusive people is that often times hey are extremely charismatic, powerful, and manipulative. I hated my father but he was one of the most revered men living in my city. Every time he spoke he had this calm sense of solemn authority that everyone obeyed. It's no surprise he was able to mask his psychotic tendencies so well. He was wealthy, respected, authoritative, and powerful.
I feel for you man. Your situation rips my heart out. I just wanted to say that given the circumstance you held pretty strong in your legal advice thread. Personally, I am a fan of the no prisoners approach here. You might consider that your kids will feel better in the long run if they are able to make a full clean break from their mother. And on the other side, I'd say that how you react will teach them how to react. Were I in your shoes, I'd probably do what you're already doing, just let your ex damn herself. Tell the kids that she is broken and needs to be loved, but also show them what a monster she is by straight up showing them what she's doing/saying. Maybe situations like yours can help this subreddit build a "what to do in a divorce" compendium. I already know of one such post in the sidebar, but when you feel there is closure you might consider making a post in TRP on what steps you took.
I will consider it, thank you. Having lives under a military household, I know quite a bit, perhaps too much, about how a man make himself to be this God and mask his true personality.
I was overseas and getting texts from my 12 year-old daughter, who was apparently home alone with he younger sister, asking if I knew where mom was. She'd been gone for nearly four hours to "get ice cream from the store", leaving at 8pm to do so.
Dude I was going to make a throwaway account just to send you a link to this discussion. Glad you're here.
Those critics on the legal advice threads are absolutely toxic, just like your soon to be ex wife. If you're honest with your kids you're in the right.
Simple really. Truth, even uncomfortable truth, is morally superior to convenient lies.
Blows my mind they can't grasp that concept.
Lying would only reinforce to my children that infidelity is okay and that lying to cover up someone else's consequences is fine. It is not. Infidelity should never be tolerated and unless you risk losing everything, do not lie.
I had actually went through the opposite of this myself when I was 13 or 14, where my mother broke up with my dad cause he cheated on her, though it was in Russia and they'd actually found a compromise after the initial fallout, the news didn't really fly far and no one cared.
It actually did in fact fuck me up for quite a while, especially since this occured after my mother forced me to visit dad's working place {where he also lived for time being} and we found him in bed with a girl. Then she spent what seemed like an infinity yelling at him until I could not take it anymore and just went home trying to understand what just happened.
Anyway, what I'd got out of this is whoever flips out in front of their kids over this is definitely in the wrong. So don't let anyone tell you that your ex-wife threatening to kill you is your fault. And isn't it funny how women not being treated equally compared to men is a huge issue, yet when it comes to death threats the argument is "95 percent of familly annihilators are male"?
deleted What is this?
Imagine if the story was switched up with her being cheated on. How many people would have just called him a worthless cheating pig and he would have never stood a chance at 50/50 custody. People are always so ready to blame the guy.
If I reverse the story, she is still a bitch for telling the kids her dad is a cheater. Of course he is the bigger asshole for threatening to kill her and that would be treated far more seriously. The two situations are treated differently of course, but if you step back either way both people in this situation are not 100% victims.
It is both parental alienation and death threats. Maybe some would like to live in a world where men can rightfully alienate cheating mothers.
Reddit is choc-a-block full of insufferable leftist faggots. To come to a non red pilled subreddit and ask for advice is the first mistake.
i cannot begin to explain how happy this makes me. reddit has become a leftist faggot cry parade with a hate white men cherry on top.
i'm damn near done with reddit and the rest of the internet.
I was a Hillary supporter (and still consider myself left leaning in terms of how I view politics), but after witnessing so much women's rights BS I've seen and the different kind of movements emerging and even denouncing something I once ardently believed in (feminism), I believe we are starting to reach critical mass for this shit. After my "redpill awakening" almost three years ago and realizing just how good women had it in today's society while still complaining and bitching about wanting more, I realized just how solipsistic and hypergamous women were and just how cringey their orbiters and white knights were. I thought Hillary was a shoe-in, Trump proved otherwise, and here I am today thinking this is exactly what we need.
To every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Though this mostly applies to chemistry and physics, I also believe that society has a similar push and pull dynamic as well. There is a reason why this sub is growing in number and slowly becoming more mainstream.
I read the quote on this sub that directly relates to Newton's Third Law that I mentioned above: "Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times."
Everything reaches equilibrium one way or another, so just ride out the "crazy leftist cry parade." They'll get theirs eventually. This opposite reaction just takes longer than a science experiment.
[deleted]
TRP is not about politics, and I know what direction you're steering this conversation (which is not the point of my comment). All you need to know is that I once supported Hillary, but I know see that Trump, TRP, and embracing of what these social justice warriors call "Toxic Masculinity" might be the equalizer society in the US needs.
I'm sure there are worse, but even some city and police subs are particularly bad, for example downplaying the racial element to crimes and promoting equalist garbage. Of course, nothing on the subs warns you that there is a political slant so unless you try to post (helloooooo shadow ban) you have no idea.
You guys are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I'm pretty liberal, and I like a lot of the posts on this sub. You can do that and also not be a
PutinDonald acolyte.Indeed. I was (still am really) a moderate libertarian but with the gop nonsense in the last decade or so i find myself aligning more closely with moderate democrats. I also preach a number of redpill values and happen to be in a stable long term relationship. We don't all have to check off all the boxes all the time to believe in the same ideals.
I used to be Liberal too, until I got tired of paying even more taxes cuz muh "egalitarian equalism".
They become whatever the education/information managerial elite programs them to be.
(I am borrowing expression from unbelievably explanatory Sam Francis's Leviathan and Its Enemies, an essential book to understand everything today, even the climate at Reddit).
By college kids for collage kids.
Yeah i think you mean liberal
No. They are leftist. As in Stalin... Communist.
Central planning of economy a la The Fed is a page out of Communists book.
Do not be mistaken, USA and most other nations have been Socialist, if not Communist, for decades
I really hope you're a troll because if you're not you have absolutely no understanding of East any of those terms mean
So true. Whenever I visit another part of Reddit besides TRP, I think to myself that Breivik did a damn good job and what a shame it is that he didn't kill more of the leftist scum.
Bruh...get fucked...dude shot up a camp full of unarmed teenagers. Kids. Literally 14-19 year olds.
https://voxday.blogspot.com/2017/05/mailvox-breivik-saint-or-monster.html?m=1
This some hitler shit here man. He didnt attack the "politcal machine" or actually shoot invaders of his country. He went to the daycare of his political opposites dressed as a police officer and shot kids. He fucking shot kids you sick fuck.
I can't believe how these people are okay with cheating.
Hey /U/akavinceblack
I don't condone rape but if your spouse denies you sex repeatedly, I can see why someone does that.
How does that sound?
Straight up idiots, all of them. His kids are 15 and 16, they have a right to know why their parents are getting a divorce. Pretty much my whole childhood involved my parents talking shit about each other and getting us in the middle of their divorce, so I completely agree that you shouldn't talk shit about your ex to your kids. But at 15 and 16 years old you're insulting them by not being open and honest with them. If they decide they don't want to see their mother because of what she did, that's her fault.
My parents pretended everything was alright and I didn't really figure my mom was ho'ing around until I was older. I did not forgive her.
Yeah, while I know it’s hard, but if an older (independent) child finds out that mom’s whoring was the cause of the divorce, I view it as their moral duty to make her life miserable over that fact. The punishment has to come from somewhere, and society as a whole gives these women a free pass with dad being the whipping boy. Redpilled sons of such women need to take this at heart, even though familial bonds can create a type of Stockholm syndrome mentality amongst kids for their moms.
I'm shocked the kids followed the dad and cut her off. Those are good children. These are the types of kids we should we raising. I'm glad that good fathers exist.
They probably already knew she was nuts, tbh
And they probably don't care to see all of her boyfriends now that their parents are seperared. If anyone wants to look at textbook narsicism, I suspect the ex wife is an example
Go look at the sub "raisedbynarcissists". It's mostly about batshit crazy moms. What a fucking shocker.
I was hard on my mom for my parents divorce but I was also hard on my dad, they both failed at the relationship, he shouldn't have fucked around as much as he did and been more mindful to everyone's needs, she left him for the first guy who promised to essentially take better care of her (her boss at the time) with no regards to anything else.
I honestly checked out of both relationships and became largely independent (even left home at 17, while I was still in highschool) and while I wound up improving my relationship later in life with both my parents, the amount of shit testing and deniability I saw from both parents was astounding and I was estranged from both during times and it's only when they stopped the shit testing and denying their faults when I finally took our relationships more serious. (Having supportive parents is better than not having supportive parents, so I'm glad I stuck up for myself and demanded a better deal than they were both willing to give).
If I was the kids in the above scenario, I'd let moms know I'm not very happy with her behavior and that she'd need to earn my respect again if she wants it. I'd tell her to ease up on pops and to not fault him for what she did. As for pops, I'd tell him to get over it, even at 15/16, I'm grown enough to make my own decisions and fight my own battles, I don't need my parents feuding and rather he butt the fuck out of mine and my mothers relationship (however fickle it would be). I'd tell him "if mom has any issues with what's happening, tell her to talk to me, not you."
This is essentially what i did with my parents in a round about way... similar but different situation (I think it's comparable).
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I feel for you, that's a tough situation to come out of but I encourage you to keep working at it, little by little. If it's any consolation, I was around your age when things started turning, late 20's... it's not about being perfect, it's just about being better. Best thing to do is to ensure you don't have negative influences around you, so if any women, or even friends, coworkers, family, if any of them are causing drama or bad influence, ditch them (and tell them why), they aren't worth it if they don't give a fuck about how they are negatively affecting you.
Accept the past, love yourself, reject victimhood.
looks like you parented your parents!
I do not see it as a moral duty to punish her. I couldn't forgive her, though other things beside that factor into it.
I did sever the relationship though and so did one of my other brothers.
Some of the things surrounding the divorce were pretty interesting, like the bank clerk urging my mom to take all the money around the time of the divorce.
Good for you, if I could I'd buy you a beer.
My mother left my father after cheating on him. With his best friend. Some friend, right? The guy was a nomad, worked six.months a year and my dad gave him a place to stay while he was in town, off work.
And how did he repay my father? By consciously undermining his relationship.
Then, my Mom invented a story about how my dad cheated, spent 15 years with one, then another neglectful, abusive guy.
She finally married a good man. Gave her the world. Let my deadbeat, do nothing sister (not his kid) live with them despite her being 22 and NEVER holding a job. Let my Mom's deadbeat mother live out her final year there...despite having walked out on my mother and leaving her to foster homes...
And my Mom cheats on him, with her sister's boyfriend, for MONTHS (she admitted it) before leaving him.
But I am the bad guy for not wanting a person like my mother in my life.
Fuck her. I don't treat with toxic people. Don't care whether I am related to them.or not. When people ask now, i just tell them my mom is dead... because to me, she is.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Or as somebody else puts it: gratitude is a burden, revenge is a pleasure. Revenge for what? For having been helped! lol
(Read Greene's 48 Laws of Power for a complete treaty on this theme).
I'm going to grab that book. Should have read 20 years ago...alas, Young is pretty much the antithesis of Wise.
Edit: pleasant surprise of the day, I already own the book. Bought in a Kindle sale right before my old phone died, promptly forgot about the purchase.
Might be the best $4.99 purchase I ever made.
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It's incredible how obvious this should be to rationale breathing humans. You REALIZE you're going to have a working relationship with your kids as they become adults. You realize that kids find out about most of their parents bullshit. And guess what? They're not going to just let it slide that you lied to them. They're going to put distance (whether that be actual distance, or emotional space) between you. It's not worth it.
That's something I never articulated, but have always felt was true. Do not lie to your children. (For the wannabe autists out there: Telling them Santa Claus is real is not a lie, and if you don't understand what I mean, it's one of those "If you have to ask..." situations.) There might be things, personal things I'll choose not to share with my son, but I'll simply tell him that some topics that are too personal will not receive an answer (just like the standard response to "Does this make me look fat?" -> "I don't answer questions like that").
I just can't imagine lying to him. He needs to understand the way the world really is if he is to become the fully realised person that it is my duty - and my joy - to help him become. Even if it happens to be a harsh lesson. If I omit those, his view of the world will be built on a fragile foundation.
15 year olds cannot handle or understand adult shit at all
And in three years, they suddenly can?
Nope
Teens are dipshits and lack understanding of the real adult world
At one point, you got to thrust them into the adult world. I think around 15 or 16 is a good time
What? No no no let's correct some things really quickly.
Believe me, a 15 year old can handle "mom is cheating, lying bitch who can't be trusted." They might not LIKE it...and.coping with it might be hard...but they CAN do it.
Source: Been there, done that. Exactly that.
I could be wrong but aren't kids above 14 in control of what form of relationship they wish to have with divorced parents. When my folks split, My siblings went with my dad, me with my mother, and when they turned 14, they chose to leave my dad and come live with me. There were no visitation rights, we still saw my dad but periodically and no one could do anything about anything because it was my siblings choice... (my dad obviously didn't want it happening but it happened anyway).
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Wow, jesus, all over the fucking board. I knew it would differ from state to state but I expected less fluctuation.
Yup, if she was the one to fuck it up then she needs to be the one to take the blame. I see no problem with letting the older kids know the truth behind why the parents are seperating. This woman needs to own up to what she did.
Indeed. From the sound of it, they even asked, he didn't just volunteer the information. My mind is boggled by all the people saying it's still parental alienation... I mean, it's true. As far as I'm concerned, the alienation, should it occur, is the responsibility of the person doing the wrong action (the sexual infidelity), not on the person who simply didn't lie to the young adults who wanted to know why their lives had been so unhappily altered.
I'm pretty sure around the age of 12 kids start to have a say in custody...
So telling the truth at 15/16 is not alienation
Didn't think my post would cause this much uproar within reddit communities.
I have read one of the responses which people gave you:
They're mobbing you to take the blame for your ex wife for her unacceptable behavior, they're not only absolving her from guilt but they want to transfer it to you.
Don't even respond to them, it's like talking to a wall.
You didn't do anything wrong, she did it to herself and she's mad that she got caught and now has to take some responsibility.
Fucking cucks, they don't understand you because they're enjoying watching their wifes getting fucked.
btw. Are you sure these are your biological kids?
Nothing will change their mind and its not worth trying. I'll be fine, thank you for the support.
As for them being my biological kids, yes they are. I got a paternity test for both of them shortly after birth.
Man, good on you for handling it with class. I hope you start hitting the gym and getting back into things. much respect
I always hit the gym and thank you.
Hitting the gym is honestly a fundamental of life. I've always stressed exercise and physical fitness and my kids adore working out. My wife was also very much a fitness buff.
That's because there's a war on men/masculinity. Luckily the people that wage that war are pretty incompetent.
Good on you for telling your kids. My father should have told me. I would have cut contact with my mother sooner and it would have saved years of wasted energy.
Or maybe I still would have waited long, but then at least it would have been my mistake to make.
A war might be a stretch but it does seem that people are way too soft now. We need discipline and honor in our children's lives. Promoting infidelity goes against everything that an honorable person stands for.
A war might be a stretch...
You were roundly berated for telling your grown children the truth about something. She did something awful, and YOU are the villain for not helping to cover it up. This is the SOP/societal norm/zeitgeist of zero accountability for women, in action.
...You can call it what you want though.
Good point. I'm still shocked at how people managed to portray me as an abusive messiah type figure.
But hey, I grew up in a situation where my father was a psychopath and people revered him as an icon.
Man, I really just sincerely hope you don't fall for the trap those people are trying to lay for you. I say this with all my heart, you are not wrong for what you are doing. You are right. I wish you nothing but the best in this time of your struggles brother.
Wait until you learn about the duluth model or the fathers who were attacked by the wife with a knife, called the police and were arrested, exactly in line with the duluth model, that is in use in several states, while leaving the mother with those children.
Or other experiences where they leave a random ho with a knife in his house while locking him in handcuffs and carrying him off. I know it sounds extreme to call it a war, because it doesn't get reported on (and when it does, it gets lied about/censored, like the documentary "the red pill", no relation to this sub in either topic or people involved, which is a little confusing)
No, they are destroying us. Just look at the scoreboard. Are also one of the people that claim we won the Vietnam war despite the end result being our enemy controlling the entire country?
I didn't say they weren't wreaking havoc or that they currently don't have a stronger position, because they do. But in this case they're the well-funded state and we're the guerrilla war fighters defending homeland. On top of that, they don't acknowledge reality and nature in a number of ways and this is part of the reason that makes them incompetent.
Dude. Never see her again.
And don't go to legal advice sub anymore. They're full of supremacists, as you've experienced directly just now
This is 100% women trying to cover their own ass and trying to manipulate other while doing so.
If a man would have done something to warrant a divorce, you can bet the mother would be talking shit every day about it.
She cheated. The kids are old enough to know. There is nothing wrong here. Don't be a cheating whore if you don't want your kids to find out maybe
And blue pill beta men white knighting for them
Crazy. The only reason this guy was able to do the smart thing despite the heaps and heaps of people telling him to feel ashamed is that he seems vaguely aspie himself from his comments.
On some level to deal properly with a sociopathic system (lawyers, family court, visitation agreements, no fault divorce, alimony, child support, women, etc) you have to be able to think sociopathically yourself. Scorched earth - burn it to the ground and rebuild.
Because if you don't play to win versus someone who is playing to win, you lose. What this guy did is smartly break his ex down mentally by forcing her to face consequences for her actions, and then hold out long enough until her will to screw him over broke down into general despondence and hopelessness.
Alienate, isolate, keep them hopeless, and then you come through and present them a way out. Like they are in the bottom of a well and you have the only rope and light.
This is how you have to deal with women who try to screw you over using weaponized sociopathic systems at their disposal. Often to do this you have to be somewhat aspie yourself, because you have to fully believe that you're important enough, that you are so in the right that it's OK to do whatever it takes. This is how women play the game - she was happy to kill him after she was cheating on him.
That jolted him into a stunted survival mode where he was willing to fight with fire. If she never did that, and instead had paid for great legal counsel on his dime, she'd likely have her payday, her kids, and would be banging her new dude in military husband's house.
The rest of the world is happy enough to have you be an indentured servant, just working away and sending money (through the court of course) to your wife and kids who enjoy their wife without you.
If you aren't willing to fight for your life and home one day and potentially lose despite doing everything right... don't fucking marry.
In the original BOLA thread, I commented that this guy was doing this really well. He was emotionally firm, smart, and manipulating the situation to a scenario that benefited him. That's textbook badassery. I got banned but it was worth it. I wonder if this guy has been on here.
On another note, I read through his own comments and apparently he had an incredibly abusive child hood (his father stabbed him with a knife for hanging out with his high school gf). It made me so fucking angry to see people call this clearly damaged and betrayed guy a "monster" and a "sociopath". I am disgusted
i hate how we live in a society where people think "ban/delete" is better than discussing issues. People are pathetic. But in the end, it really doesn't fucking matter, this guy is still gonna do whatever the fuck he's going to do and rightfully so. If he thinks he's going to get fucked over in the end, he owes it to himself to protect himself, god knows his x-wife sure as fuck isn't going to provide a reasonable solution to their situation.
You can't reason with sheer insanity.
Yep. I wouldnt trust his ex wife cunt with anything. If I was her, I would go full on barbaric. Id destroy her completely.
It's a common theme amongst reddit and it has roots in movies/tv, which is how most of these redditors develop their world view. Essentially any strong male who is willing to fight hard against some social grain is "damaged" and a "sociopath". Kind of like every guy who's a womanizing playboy actually is damaged and unhappy and has momma issues.
The guy does come off a little retarded sometimes, and I think he has a super simplistic view that will bite him in the butt (that part where he's describing how his wife will behave rationally and logically, or how just because wife "chose option 1" now the problem is solved forever. Like no, just no, she will need to get revenge somehow to not feel like he walked over her, and she will have to poison the well against him, and he needs to actually document and report her threats. Towards the end he's settling for a draw instead of pushing for a win, and if his exwife is smart, she can still fuck him.
Yeah I agree. I was so wishing for him to just utterly annihilate her. Maybe he's biding his times until his kids are in the clear. He seems to have raised his kids very well. Nowadays simps raise their kids to be pussies and the typical "kid" would side with his mother regardless of their crimes. It's refreshing to see those smart kids have some values and cut her off.
edit: what does aspie mean
I said in another comment that people raise their kids to be sheep. They don't raise kids to think critically and think for themselves.
Someone was whinging about how men lose their kids in divorce and I don't think this is the case if you raise strong independent kids. They will see through bullshit and call out anyone who's responsible for it.
Yeah his kids seemed smart. He should introduce himself and them to TRP. Props on him for raising kids that wont tolerate something disgusting like cheating
Aspie = Aspergers or 'on the spectrum.'
That's what "people" do :) Healthy, functional people I mean.
When they see someone on the ground, they go congratulate/praise/admire who knocked him on the ground, while blaming the knocked-down one as if he had knocked himself down and nobody was responsible or had brought him into his condition.
You'd say "people" are quite hard wired to side with "winners", bastards who are better at lying and manipulating, and rationalizing it as ethical...
You can read red pills all day and never be redpilled. Experience and self-honesty about it is the only true redpill. People who don’t see the dark side are delusional. It’s just another side to a coin. When you see both sides clearly all you see is one coin.
This guys first mistake was marrying a female like this...
You just never ever get involved with women like this (at all costs). Being alone and sexless is better than risking getting one of these women knocked up.
Im willing to give this guy some slack. Read some of his comments. Apparently he had an incredibly abusive childhood and his wife was the first person he romantically "loved" (apart from his family)
Oh, I agree with you.
I didn't mean to make it sound like I was attacking or questioning him in any way, just sort of giving context to people who aren't him (ie: you want to avoid his situation, don't get involved with women like this).
Sort of like a cautionary tail, it's sad that they exist but when we do stumble upon them, I think it's important to highlight how important it is to absolutely avoid these kinds of females at all costs.
Yeah that's the point.
It's not before going through some severe trial and tribulation that one can learn what a female is in actuality. So, at least the first mind-disintegration and mind-shattering hurt from their psychological/social dishonesty can't usually be avoided. It's to be lived through, and to learn from. (Don't think anyone can become red-pilled without personally going through the socio-feminine decepto-grinder, in other words).
This sounds like he is ready for us now...
Their genes have evolved over millennia to not let other people (first of all the male they have selected as their next tool) see their real nature.
How would he know what she was like?
Maybe I just have a better shit detector test or lower tolerance.
This just might be my official coaching motto.
There are always tons of guys who pass through the bitch. But after musical chairs is over the last one there's always the one that's tossed beneath the Fucking bus.
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This reminds me of that story in the 48 laws of power.
Hopefully someone knows which law im talking about.
Anyways in the story, all the jungle animals gather around to make amends because the water hole runs dry or some shit like that, so they assume the gods are mad at them.
The lion says hes sorry for tricking the small animals and eating them, and all the animals emphatically see from his POV and forgive him. This goes on and on with each animal asking for forgiveness and they all agree they all only did what was right to survive.
Then comes along the donkey. The donkey in the story admits to also slipping up, maybe eating more leaves than he should have, that one time. All the animals gather round and decide the donkey is at fault for his heinous crime, and sacrafice him.
The moral of the story for me is if people see you as a donkey you better never admit to any wrong doing.
Because the more and more i notice how true this story is.
From that scientist who wore that shirt of the scantly clad women, who asked forgiveness and was further chastised, to simpish begful men who are depised by fat walrus women.
Society hates betas and they will rip you apart for it if you ask for forgiveness. Most of you fake alphas do it here too. Like the good little sheep you were programmed to be.
But anyways my point is... maintaining frame is essential in life and a large part is not walking around asking for forgiveness, and the more you do that the more youll see how often theyll try and shame you and how little it will affect you.
Yeah,I'm a little ashamed he apologized to his wife. He handled it well IMO (I especially loved how he emphasized power and control) but he should never have apologized even if it was to get her favor to his own benefit.
But he did alright. He should check out this sub
He should have never made a reddit thread in the first place. He didn't do anything wrong, and he shouldn't need strangers on the Internet to validate or give advice about it.
I'm glad he did. The blatant sexism, reverence for infidelity, and victim blaming is stunning.
It's great for us. We get to see the results. But it probably didn't turn out to be the best move for him.
Don't use the "denigration by proxy of collective being strangers" approach. TRP is nothing but strangers talking to strangers. Based on your comment, no one should ask for guidance or questions here, let alone place any value in the authority of some of the knowledge here. Asking advice on the internet is perfectly fine. You can always choose what you do with the advice. Let's put this another way: The OP of that post made a comment in this exact post. Maybe his advice will lead him to be patient and read some of the teachings of this sub?
You're missing the point. I am not talking about advice on the Internet in general.
I'm talking about this guy asking for advice about this particular matter. The fact that he asked in the first place is because he was unsure about whether he had done the right thing. In this case I think he should have been confident in his own decision. It's kind of like all those stupid "should I break up with my GF" questions on askTRP. No one knows better than you whether you should or not.
When he got the advice from strangers, it was just a bunch of manginas telling him he was a bad man. And then he actually listened to their advice somewhat and apologized to his ex wife.
Nah, he definitely shouldn't have made the thread.
Not missing your point. I think the "stranger angle" has never made sense. If you're questioning his asking of his specific question... Sure, but he's not RP so he doesn't know better. That's a completely different thing you're conflating.
He did what he did FIRST, then went seeking guidance. Had he not asked the question, he would have still been in the wrong.
I'm glad he posted because he obviously found this sub.
In fact asking personal advice on this sub is a violation of the rules.
not relevant. read the thread.
I disagree. sometimes giving a stick gets you a yard.
That and at the end of the day, an apology doesn't hurt him in any way, this woman is a nightmare, I'd want nothing to do with her tbh, If it was me, I'd refrain from putting any energy into anything to do with her, whatsoever. She could write "I'm gonna kill you you son of a bitch" all day and my classic go to response would be "I'm sorry you feel that way." I know that's not the same context he apologized to her for but at the end of the day I'm just saying, I wouldn't feed into her bullshit. I'd give her the same fucking 2 word answer to everything she;d have to says to me. "I'm sorry" Drop the kids off and pick them up on time when I'm supposed to. There's really no need for him to be putting any energy into her. She's probably feeding off the drama.
Decades of a gynocentric society and feminizing brainwashing of our men was never intended for macro reasons, it was intended for small things like this.
Feminization and its tentacles getting into a million different nooks and crannies of everyday life and decisions has far more of a devastating effect on masculinity and men than feminization brushing up on 3 or 4 major things.
This man was fucking merciful towards his ex and he's a monster. Someone in the thread literally called him a narcissistic abuser and armchair psychologists try to "diagnose" him.
He came into the thread a few times (the BOLA update one) and tried to defend himself but got fucking trashed by these idiots.
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They can be programmed to go for, or against, anything and anybody.
That's the masses, guys.
Like in those men's case, they can be programmed to go against themselves as easily as any other target.
Projection of his wifes faults and potential traits onto him. Females can do no wrong.
TBH I don't think anyone could have imagined it would go this far. They might have thought it would soften things a touch, not openly welcome being demoted to single mother with a penis and expected to take your suppository with a smile.
I think this perspective doesn't get enough credence. The modern SJW cults evolved out of the civil rights, women's suffrage, and anti-war movements that were actually noble in their pursuits. Now all they have is a hammer and every problem looks like nails.
Somebody needs to post the converse story on this reddit. Philandering husband cheats and wife tells teenage kids. The chorus will have absolutely no problem with the wife and will castigate the cheating husband.
It’s a few weeks old but still
Cucks. All of them. Every cuck who posted in that thread deserves to get cheated on. Then they can bitch about it on reddit and wonder where they went wrong.
Edit: I just read the original post. I went down and people actually think OP should have lied to his kids. What the fuck.
All those weak men are despised by their wives. I guess it's a small consolation.
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Transparency is a bane of evil. Scum feminazi's understand this well.
You will lose half your potential assets if you marry. You will lose your children if you have children.
The winning move for men who want to marry and have children is to not marry and not have children.
Fortunately for him his kids seem to love him dearly and listen to him without question. Plus they seem to be raised well with values if they were willing to cut off a whore cheater from their life just like that.
Yes, but custody for the father won't happen until the kids are deemed old enough to decide for themselves.
The daughter is 15 and the son is 16. He'll be fine tbh
You just need to find the right one.
That's what they keep telling me, anyway. Heard it again today, in fact.
lol
surely some are more right than the rest — in the sense that they are less wrong...
but that's it
That's horseshit.
I'm a product of divorce, my dad did stupidly lose half his assets (twice) and sure, for a while he lost his children, but so too did my mother, because I did not agree with the behavior I was seeing from her. In the end, I repaired both relationships because they met me on my terms and I would turn to my Dad more than I would my mom (My relationship with my mother is more superficial where I found it was easier to turn to my dad for advice).
At the end of the day if you lose your children, it's because you did not make a large enough impression on them. My sister went through divorce and is in the exact opposite situation you'd imagine (the father tried to manipulate the kids into not liking their mother even tho he was the one who was cheating and abusive to her). The kids saw through the bullshit, they still see him and enjoy spending time with him, but he's realized he's not going to be able to turn their kids on her....
At the end of the day, protect your assets, make sure your kids grow up able to think for themselves, far too many of us wind up raising sheep. that's the problem.
How can you possibly say this when we know that women are given default custody, that women have no consequences of parental alienation and that they engage in this behavior regularly? How can you make this broad statement when women move around, change addresses, and move far, far away?
If mom move 500 miles away is it still Dad's fault? Is it still Dad's fault when the mom has the children almost all the time and spends her advantage to poison their minds so much of the time?
Your assertion could only be correct if we fight on an equal playing field. We don't.
Don't take my comment out of context. It wasn't meant to paint the entire canvass with the same brush stroke. I get there's a lot of variables, I felt that goes without saying, I'm just trying to say in a somewhat fair fight where you're not dealing with a sociopath, maybe instead you're dealing with simple bitterness (as an example, how my mom reacted to my parents divorce) than if you raise an independent child, it's likely that child will see through the bullshit.
You're right in that my suggestion would notwork on this x-wife had their kids been sheep, but the fact that this x-wife is beyond batshit fucking crazy and that their kids are siding heavily with their father is proof that there is merit into what I'm trying to stress.
And it's not like it's skewed by gender, he's raising a teen girl and a teen boy... and they both side with pops and aren't please with moms behavior.
He's also not doing anything to alienate them from her. Telling the truth about their mother isn't alienating those kids. Parents need to be held accountable and these kids deserve to see the bullshit this mother is causing.
So yeah, in short, you can't apply my statement to every single divorce case out there, which should just highlight the fact that you really need to do your best to not raise fucking sheep if you ever decide to raise kids. teach them how the real world works and learn them to navigate through shit piles.
Man, you called it. The whole time I’m just thinking “I don’t even have to think about this because those kids are basically fucking adults.”
I asked this in another comment... I'm pretty sure they can make a legal decision as to whether or not they want to see their mother... isn't that age set for 14 where kids have that sort of power/decision making?
Most women will never understand how easy they have it in life.
My bud is having issues with his marriage. The skinny is that his wife is abusive and physical with him and he has a minor drug problem. I'm talking to my girl about this and she tells me my friend is lucky to have her. I just sat there and asked her if she would feel the same with the tables being turned, with the woman having the drug problem and the man being the abusive one. Would she be "lucky" to have him then? She couldn't even answer me.
If you are a white hetro male, nobody is on your side man. No matter what.
Have you considered leaving her? She seems like my "ex" — they are solipsistic machines built to support other females, and see themselves at war with every male (including their "boyfriend").
my ex-wife cheated, among other things. i divorced over it when all the shit came out. son was 3. he's 13 now. he's asked why we divorced, i haven't told him. but when he's 18 i intend to tell him.
and fuck whether it damages his relationship with his mother. if truth does that, it shows how destructive cheating on a spouse really is. him learning the truth isn't what does the damage. the cheating does the damage. it hurts your kids. but my son deserves to know when he's old enough to take in stride. hopefully he learns by example not to cheat, and what to do if he gets cheated on.
It's her actions who damaged your family and your relationships to each other. Never forget that. Telling the truth can never be "doing damage".
I was raised in a loving household that engaged in lying as a favorite past time. It drove me insane to know the truth, but be expected to lie. The truth will set you free.
There you are, fellows. Learn, don't whine.
Think of a narrative like this:
About one year ago something happened to me, which led to my ex wife making death threats to me.
For the last months that we spent together, I knew that our marriage was on rocky grounds. My wife was constantly upset, we were fighting constantly, she was really frustrated. Every time we talked about it we agreed on finding a way out, for our family, and our children. In my mind, she was upset because our "children" were actually a 15yo girl and a 16yo boy, cutting their cords, full of their own ideas and desires and going away from their mother's wings.
I thought I understood her ailment, so I sucked it up and compromised. A lot of times. Many times she said things that brought me down to my knees, a lot of times I thought of her as an abuser that was undermining my self esteem. A lot of times I thought that things would be easier if I put some work on detaching and stop loving her. But I was doing all that to preserve our family, and a family in which a father doesn't love the mother isn't a family at all. So, I endured.
This all came to a bitter end for me when I found out about her infidelity about one year ago. At first I tried to lie to myself, but then every time she said something to put me down I'd go down sobbing. I trusted her to give me support if I ever became that vulnerable. Funny thing is, my impulse was talking to my wife about what was happening! But it wouldn't work.
On the days following me finding out I couldn't work. I tried, but I wouldn't focus. HR warned me about my loss of productivity, so I told them what was happening. It was only then that someone warned me I was in a dysfunctional relationship, which aided me in making a decision. I asked for some time off, and would file for a divorce, so I could recover and focus on my children.
The process was a horror show. The legal system has no empathy for cheated on people. Every time I commented on how my now ex wife acted towards me, someone would say "even if that is true, proving it is too hard, so we can't use it in court". In the end, thank god, when it came to our sons, it was all sorted out. They would still have two parents after all, none would be alienated by the law, which was the best I could expect from it all. When it came to her and myself, things were different. I was trying really hard to forgive and not to resent her, I had been going to therapy to try to sort myself out, I managed to convince her to get into couple's counseling to help us finding how to best handle things with our sons, despite her persistent protests of "we're divorced, why would we do couple's anything? Would you please let me live my life now?"
But as I said, our "children" weren't children, they're teenagers, intelligent, observant, and they couldn't help but notice whenever I sobbed, that I gained a lot of weight and was binge eating sometimes, so at some point the my asked me what happened. I thought of lying to her, but she's older and wiser than she had to be to be fooled with some excuse and lie I'd fail to sustain. And I told her, that her mother and I had divorced due to her infidelity.
Now, they're teenagers, with their own opinions, and own attitudes, and they're having a hard time forgiving her. It WILL end. But now she somehow turned this all on me and is threatening to kill me. I fear that she has the intent and the resources to do it, but I'm afraid to go to the police and be laugh at, because I'm a man,and they never spared any comment, "you're just feeling emasculated because she cheated, grow some balls".
How can I proceed?
report all threats to the police
I guess posted this to the wrong person?
This is the most disgusting thing i've read in a long time. It's the sort of nonsense that makes you wish you lived on a different continent with a different culture.
Next thing you know it's another reddit post where the mom kills the kids.
Seen it before, god help them
The shitty thing is NO ONE bought that up. God, this pussy worship is so fucked up. No wonder my own mother literally restricts me from dating.
it's happned before it'll happen again :/
deleted What is this?
Women violence tends to be more subtle. They either get a male to do the work for them, they poison their families, or hurt someone smaller.
Commenter: "Just to point out that the vast majority of family annihilators are male. Approximately 95%."
LOL I wonder where they get this information? The hamster?
That fact isn't even necessary either. Moronic toxic bigots
If she wants to make the promise to be loyal in front of her friends and family at her wedding then they should dam well get to know when she isn’t
Who else vomited at the first comment?
I surely would have — had I made the mistake to read it..
At that age, kids are old enough to understand and want real answers. But this is a clear symptom of the fallen time we live in.
Cancerous cucks, the lot of them.
15 and 16 year olds understand infidelity and they deserve the truth.
The "children" are teenagers about to leave home, become adults, and attend college. They should be warned that their mother is making death threats, so one day she doesn't pull up in a car, invite them to a remote location, and dump their bodies in the Woods somewhere.
I'm impressed this is mentioned in the og thread, it gets thumbed down, while a response, "Most killers are men" get thumbed up. As if that's an appropriate rebuttal.
How is the truthful manipulation negative? Those people have issues.
Classic projection. They even go as far as justifying her cheating and calling the father a narcisstic abuser
I had something similar happen to me. "Mom" of our then 2 yr old boy took off and then came back into our lives when he was 4 by way of notification of an expedited hearing the following week.
The day of the hearing, i was pretty confident because she left for her own stupiid, selfish reasons. I was never abusive, i provided for her, and paid for things i should not have, and fucked her silly nearly every day. I also tolerated her nonsensical BS view of life all the while "leading by example" and tactfully conveying to her more or less "no" and "why" when she wanted me to participate with or support her through one of her many foolish notions which were 9 times out of 10 was engineered by her to get out of doing her part (aside from sex) around the house.
While i had plenty of evidence to support her abandoning and otherwise, poor parenting what little she WAS around, she had lie after lie to tell the judge. The thought of any judge siding with her was not only laughable, but ridiculous. To the point now...the results of the expedited hearing:
She was not even so much as required to have "supervised" visitation. She was granted immediate summer visitation the following day with our son, out of state, and he did not even know who she was. I was called a "child abuser" by the judge for telling our son "i dont know where your mommy is but i know she loves you"
She was even given all holidays for 2 yrs to "make up for lost time" since i, apparently, "kept her away." I only retained "temporary custody" because of "court tradition" which is "temporary custody to the parent who the child has been living with."
Theres plenty i'm leaving out which supports my side of things but you get it. Man, just typing all this pisses me off more. The system is not just "broken" it can be sick and twisted beyond belief.
If your a man family court is stacked against you from the beginning. I fucked my ex, but that ass hole judge fucked me. In America men don't have any fucking rights. It infuriayes me to think of that day and everything since.
Nothing will change as long as not enough people want this to change.
the white knighting is so instilled in them that they are WK'n a girl they have no idea who she is where shes from or anything about her... but ya never know. its wrong for him to be honest with his kids, but mothers talk shit about their baby daddy's every day to make em out to be evil to kids.
There is nothing wrong with what he did.
i agree, i guess i should of stated clearing if its wrong for him to be honest with his kids... i was just thinking more about all the mothers who go around talking shit about their kids dads infront of the kids all day for no other reason then they piss her off. or make things hard between him and the kids so she can talk shit. thats just my experience, but thankfully my kids mom grew up a bit before mine was old enough to really do any damage.
sweet I just woke up and now I'm fucking pissed off!
so if one parent is say, a pedophile, does that mean the other parent shouldn't tell the kids because that's "driving a wedge" between the parent and kid. get fucked
You're a dumbass if you ask these male feminists on reddit for advice about anything.
N E V E R
E
V
E
R
get married.
This is the only "red pill" advice one needs to follow.
This is why you don't be a 'Good Man.' Virtue and deceny is for faggots that can't offer anything else or have no value to begin with
They already brand you as the 'bad guy' because women must be seen as victims.
If you have kids and want to keep them, you have to sabotage and frame the mother for something that will allow you to take them away for good. Plant drugs in her car or something.
What's your opinion on how he dealt with the problem? I think he did it very well without going complete scorched earth
His "very well" has gotten him nothing.
You either play to win, or don't play at all.
Never play just to tie.
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I believe the divorce was finished already in LAOP's case
I can't link to the archive posts (Great Firewall of China) so a lot of context is missing.
In general, you aren't supposed to try to alienate the children and the other parent and if it it is proved that you did there could be a change of custody (if you have it) or a reduction of visitation (if you are the non-custodial parent). However, it is really hard to prove.
The other point taken is that your relationship with your (ex)spouse is considered completely separate from the respective relationships with the children. This principle in practice tends to work in favour of the mother who is an X, Y and Z (and twice on Sundays) but the mantra still remains "she is a good mother!" Unfortunately, guys never seem to get the benefit of the doubt in these situations.
It gets me that the "children" are close to being young adults, and this is where the context comes in. If they come to the father with an honest but adult question about why the divorce (that he filed for?) then he can refuse to answer - and maybe risk alienating the kids himself - or lie (always the policy of choice if it benefits the woman I suppose) or tell them in the truth in an even handed way.
I'm just amazed by the responses saying he was out of order for telling his children THE TRUTH. If the wife wanted to smang other guys she could have sought a divorce first. She had a duty not just to her husband, but to her family (Since they decided to procreate).
u/bug-hunter comment was hilariously deranged
I think it’s good for kids to know if the mom cheated on the Dad.
Fuck these people infuriate me. They're just so damn stupid.
This is why i love 4chan more than reddit. At least on 4chan you can discuss about roasties without fear of ban. On reddit, you even come close to praising someone who was clearly in the right, then you get banned.
Faggots of that subreddit should never be mods
Ahh nice to be reminded just how worthless people on Reddit are.
Women dont even have to answer for their actions when a bunch of fat ugly neckbeard fucks will find an excuse to defend them and shift the blame.
There is one thing that nobody has focused on so far. The kids need to have appropriate protections in place when dealing with either parent if that parent is being abusive and manipulative. I spent the last 24 years showing my kids how to protect themselves from their mother's needy "take care of me" attitude. Couch this in terms of a divorce where my 9 year old daughter was manipulated into taking care of her siblings and her mother after her mother and I divorced. The ex rode the carousel high wide and with abandon for a year then settled down with hubby #2 followed a few years later with #3 and now with #4. The kids are adults now and have a better idea how to fend off the manipulation.
I honestly couldn't read past your first exert - I know people are just fucking horrible to men, but that was just..... Mind boggling. That poor man.
Un-fucking-believable.
I don't see how telling the kids why they split is bad or alienation.
Infidelity is a legal cause for divorce. Simply telling the truth isn't alienation.
Holy shit that was painful to read.. poor guy, honestly wtf is the world coming to, things are so blatantly fucked up. Ugh maybe I'm just a little buzzed tonight but this one triggered me a bit.
par for the course for reddit
(don't mind me just a shit reply) I don't think I've ever experienced getting triggered before, so this was quite interesting, thank you OP now I'm more familiar with myself.
As someone from a broken home, everyone in that thread bashing on the father deserves to be shot.
I know a woman who raised her children admirably well by herself after her husband cheated on her. She also told her children soon what really happened. Not because she wanted to let them hate her husband but because she thought they could handle the truth. They turned out fine. They do dislike their dad but for good reason.
Whoever is trying to protect 15 year olds from the cold reality of the world is a retard and should be forbidden to have children. Lucky for those kids they got an honest and direct dad. If they were raised by the people of those subreddits they probably couldn't even wipe their own butt at 18.
Just another thing that has me believe Reddit is retarded.
You're right, OP in that thread is just getting savaged, with his actual reasonable questions and comments. And crazily downvoted. It's not some giant long story either, basically a short paragraph that he wrote.
Putting aside the commenters who are trolls, russians and neckbeards, you are left with women comments. And from a red pill perspective, this is a beta male standing up and fighting, and betas don't do that. She probably had a good reason to cheat, we just don't know it yet, but it most likely revolves around him not being man enough. Now this beta has ruined the family because he made the mother look bad, how dare him!
Stop and listen to the women around you when they think you aren't paying attention (which sadly is far easier than it should be). You will hear the same things being said right out in real life, just slightly toned down. There is great influence out there to be the good beta draft horse, the question is what kind of man do you want to be? And it can be done without even raising your voice or making threats.
I opt out of every relationships whenever that happens (and it's been happening a lot lately — since people, and females too, are being programmed into that direction).
Sad how if genders were reversed, the man would be totally vilified.
Damn assholes giving unwanted armchair teachings on morality and ethics. Screw them
Great. Now I got banned at some random shit subreddit just for posting here.
If she didn't want her kids to know she's a dirty whore then she shouldn't be a dirty whore. If she's making death threats he should call the police and prosecute to the fullest.
When people will ask me why I'm a misandrist I will pull up this thread, among many others
A misandrist would be a person who hates men (converse of misogynist). Are you looking for misanthrope, person who hates humanity?
Could have sworn it was misandrist matching humanity when I searched it up. Aye, misanthrope it is
Ah, those Greek-origin words. .
That thread is pure cancer and not great legal advice. They don't cite any statutes or cases. Literally bs
She probably also probably said she would be faithful and honor her husband but fwiw she didn't follow through with that either.
Part of a womans duties to her children should be not fucking up their home situation by banging a bunch of strange dudes and fracturing the family.
It's the internet. You get a wide variety of people.
I got a proxy block on computer... can anyone direct me as to what subreddit I can find this in? thanks!
What in the actual fuck. The woman commits an actual crime by threatening a man's life and he is the sociopath? I can't wrap my brain around this one. Man, I feel fucking bad for this guy. I know now where not to go if I need any legal advice because that sub is clearly biased.
It is good for the boys to learn harsh reality so young. Good basic for TRP.
From the same subreddits that as soon as a woman isn't satisfied, they suggest infidelity.
Absolute shithole. I hope people PM'd the guy to tell him that he did the right thing.
Somebody send him a link to trp
Yeah holy shit what a bunch of beta bitches. They don't get to tell someone in a situation they're not in anything because they are ignorant to the exact dynamics. The guy also responded several times and he got downvoted for sticking by his guns and not letting people who don't actually know him or her, tell him what he should have done. And then the retard getting gilded for his pseudo legal advice when in reality the guy didn't do anything but tell the truth about his whore wife. Good for that guy. Reddit is an echo chamber and people will delude themselves into thinking what is popular is right but a famous Bill Walsh quote is "if everyone is thinking the same then no one is thinking." And these people don't think sometimes. Yeah the only place in the world where a cheating whore wife who's now making death threats is the victim is on Reddit. I wonder how those death threats would look in court?... Mr. legal advice didn't say shut about that huh?
I have to say the OP handled that shit very well despite the shit pile of bad advice and insults the cucks over there heaped upon him. His wife sounds like your typical air-headed narcissist was genuinely shocked that her kids would blame her for cheating and destroying their family. Fucking AWALT.
Party A cheats, then Party A threatens Party B. Party B then proceeds to tell children about Party A's actions.
If Party A was a man, that thread would've been completely different.
Fuck society.
Bad will shown towards asker in those comments is ridiculous. But no, it's totally TRP that is hateful and absolutely no other sub is.
/s
I’m glad you posted this. I read this a few days ago and immediately thought of you guys. This woman cannot accept responsibility for her actions and somehow it’s her cucked husband’s fault? Yeah, right.
I think the guy was indeed wrong to tell his kids about that stuff. It's only bad for them, no pros. Now, life threats are a crime last I know... so she should be tossed in jail I guess and this guy is probably a chump.
Mom is not a victim, but Dad is a shit father if his sole reason for telling his kids that was to turn them against her. Leave the kids out of the middle of your shit with your ex as much as you possibly can.
mml76gs • TheRedPill • 1d Nothing will change as long as not enough people want this to change
What i wonder is whenever there is "enough people" HOW can the system be made to change?
Man chooses not to lie to his teenage children about their parents divorce. And appearantly that makes him a bad person.
Supposedly he was supposed to lie to his children to protect their erroneous belief that their (clearly dangerously unstable) mother was a good and trustworthy person.
I know it's tired as hell but Jesus tittyfucking Christ, if a man was threaten to murder his ex wife over telling their children the truth about his infidelity ending their marriage, he'd already (rightly) be in lockup.
Holy shit... that thread is unreal. I think I'm reminded of how insane our society has become on an almost daily basis, and how much of a minority people that think like we do really are. I know that as a fully initiated red piller I'm supposed to be past this, but sometimes it makes me so depressed. I don't want to live in this culture, but I have to try to accept that I exist in the time that I was born into and I have no more choice over it.
holy shit the amount of shit in that thread.
but then again this is reddit.
why even bother?
It always blows my mind to see such examples as to how deep the feminine imperative runs. No wonder men are growing up ashamed of their biology.
If you've ever been divorced with children involved, there is most likely a part of your divorce or separation agreement that deals with talking shit about each other. Mine goes like this:
So yeah, the situation is fucked up, but your lawyer would probably advise you to not tell your kids that your ex was a whore. And of course the whore should be prosecuted for the death threats.
There's nothing stopping the dad from letting the kids read the public records from the divorce. They're old enough to go get copies themselves, even.
The wife is a whore, the husband is a coward. Only respectable people in this story are the kids. He was sooo scared of his wife’s threats and internet nobodies talking shit that he forced himself to make things better. He had his own interests before the kids. Hopefully they learn from their parents mistakes.
He was probably just venting...except I said it to kids. So what. typical human shit. I rarely see men alienate children.
It's a red pill for the kids, but in the end it is better to have the ugly truth than a string of lies to cover it up. Their mother cheated on their father, and this is why they are divorcing. It isn't because he was not good at being a lover.
Not sure why she is sending death threats. She just killed joy in 3 people she was suppose to be devoted to.
Poor guy. Poor kids. Poor lady. There are no winners in a situation that you have to be close enough to a person who has gotten this angry. Though, getting a restraining order would help with that closeness thing.
fucking I dont know whats right anymore
Oh sure! Because her willingness to make death threats has absolutely no bearing on what kind of person she is, and how she will act towards her children.
These people all act like this woman is somehow entitled to her children’s love. I’m 16, and I would never forgive my mother if she threatened to kill my father. They really need to stop acting as if the kids have no say in this matter.
good cunts without kids downvoting me. Maybe I should lift more?
Controversial advice (on this sub anyway) - you shouldn't be shit talking about the other parent to the kids.
Even when you are together, you should still see your relationship to your partner as a little separate to the relationship with your kids (this is actually great advice as it means the kids understand mummy and daddys relationship is important and you can focus on each others needs as well as your kids needs).
No matter what one person does, the other person is still the kids parent. This isn't about being pussy whipped or letting women walk all over you, it's about what's best for the kids and what's best for the kids is usually a strong parenting unit even if that unit is separated.
The guy is probably some bitch with a lot of bitterness that he doesn't know how to handle so he thought he'd use the kids as a weapon to get some revenge. My partners ex does this a lot, uses the daughter as a weapon, he's such a pussy of a man he just can't deal with the fact she left him.
Don't support this dick head - his ex wife might be a piece of shit but she still has duties as a mother and he's making that harder for her which ultimately fucks the kids.
Don't worry you're not the only one. I'm pro Red Pill all the way but what the father did was unnecessary.
Fact of the matter is that his wife cheated on him, he can't deal with it, and despite getting a divorce he still feels vulnerable and is using the kids as a means to get revenge at his wife when he could have just taken the high road and cut the bitch out of his life without any more drama. This man is a text book beta.
I understand a lot of guys have disdain for this woman because she shouldn't be upset at her husband when she f*cked him over like that too, it's irrational and unstable, I get that. But both of these people are wrong at the end of the day and are just hurting their kids.
Infidelity definitely hurt our kids. In fact, the reason I found out was because it did.
I was on a business trip for a weekend and my wife was in charge of the household for those two days. My kids had this event at their school (I think it was a game or a competition) around 8 PM or so. Anyways, their mother said she would pick them up. The event ended around 10 PM. She arrived past midnight.
Fortunately, there were custodians in the building but my kids waited in a nearly abandoned building for two hours in the dead of night. They told me immediately once I came back. My wife told me she had some "work" to attend to. Bullshit.
With a little bit of digging, I found her Tinder profile. She was having sex with a random guy instead of picking up her own kids.
And people say you're the abusive asshole... smh
She neglected her kids - that's wrong. In no way does that relate to the bigger picture that we've been discussing here - Your mind is so closed off there's no point in even talking to you.
If current parenting situation is working, why do anything that could change that? What if your kids are so disgusted by your revelation that they leave their mums house and want to come to you but you can't handle them 100%? What if you can't drive them 40 mins to school each morning and evening? Do you not see how life could quickly get worse once you break a parenting situation that's working? IF the parenting arrangements aren't working well then that's another story but the logistics of shared (separated) parenting can be a nightmare under the best of circumstances. I'm watching my step daughter deal with her dad who randomly started to bad mouth her mother (my partner); it affects the girl massively, everything was going ok before he started to get shitty due to the child support amount dropping (she pays him child support) and now he's running his mouth off and the girl doesn't wanna go there so much, I'm now stuck with a pretty large school run which I can't change until next year and the daughter is losing the positive influence that was her dad just because he's a little bitch over the wife leaving him. Maybe he shouldn't have been a cunt then she would have never left?
The joint parenting has worked well for a couple of years but recently he became single again and the shit talk has started, how does the daughter knowing the "truth" make her life better. Maybe when she's not dependent on her parents, then she can know whatever she wants?
You didn't come here to listen to peoples real experiences in these exact situations, you came here to have your feelings validated.
Women that cheat are monsters, I don't doubt it, sometimes those monsters are very good for the kids though and when you're doing 50/50 parenting arrangements, your sudden need to tell the truth can fuck lives up very quickly.
I hope experience matures you.
monsters can be good parents? What the actual fuck.
Yet we're the ones that need to mature. okay.
I can't even wrap my head around this.
She neglected her kids. You have no more info for us than that, there are a million other things that may or may not have happened over the following years. She might have gone on to do her motherly duties perfectly, she might not.
If a parenting situation is working fine, why change that by talking about your ex to your kids? Unless the other parent is fucking hopeless, don't you see how that could massively impact the kids?
Really? I interpret this another way. He forced this woman into a situation where she needed his help to be happy. That's fucking awesome
A reasonable opinion on this sub! amazing..
I agree 100% with you. You see a lot of children in mens bodies that somehow managed to have a baby but in reality they're emotionally immature and can't handle the pressures of adult life (which includes cheating wives).
The whole concept of redpill is to better yourself as a man and this naturally leads to better sexual strategy. Talking shit about your whore ex-wife, to your kids, is in no way redpill or aligned with being a responsible and disciplined man.
He did not talk shit. What's happening here? He told his kids the truth about his divorce. Are you advocating for him to lie? For him to potentially break his own relationship with his kids?
No
I am advocating for him to tell his kids that the reasons are between him and his ex-wife. There's no reason to risk damaging the joint (while separated) parenting efforts.
Why would that happen? The Dads marriage is not the kids business and they should have been taught that from an early age.
Having kids means responsibility outside of your own ego. A lot of people don't get that and we have a lot of fucked up kids and adults because of it. This isn't as black and white as you'd like it to be.
I disagree but I dont think we will be able to have a good conversation. I see where you come from however.
How would your opinion change... say, if it was a man beating his wife. Would you support his wife telling her kids?
I’m with you man. I wouldn’t talk shit about my kid’s other parent. That relationship is important. To poison it because your own feelings are hurt is a fucking low class, shitty move. It’s not about you and her, it’s about them. Source: Child if divorce whose parents never talked shit about each other. I have a great relationship with both of them.
Your parents were awesome to equally parent you. Good on them.
My mother-in-law shits all over her ex-husband all the time, it does nothing to make anyones lives better. It's bitter and resentful and shows no strength of character.
with respect to the kids development, i think holding out until they are older to express the exact details of the divorce would be better for all parties involved. i grew up in a situation where we were told a falsified story, and then the truth later on. wasn't a big deal because when we were older we understood things better, and how being told the truth at that age might've resulted in further issues.
They are 15 and 16. They are old enough to fucking drive and derive, there old enough for the truth.
because they can drive they are old enough? have you raised kids? do you realize the amount of hormones and stress going through a teen in puberty? contrary to what you think, old enough for the truth might be situation specific.
The dad shouldn’t tell the kids the reason
I am the mother of sons. I am not a feminist. I read these posts. Sorry, but I think this guy is full of shit and a douchebag.
off topic, but does giving birth twice have something to do with you being the queen of queef or was that just a natural development?
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lol it was a serious question, i truly am interested
Never to early to learn your mother is a person . GTFO
This is inappropriate to tell your children, not until they’re adults do they need to know this information.
Let's not infantilize teenagers please. I'm 17 and I can think for myself. I dont need to be told that I need to wait for a day in my life where I'm suddenly given the right to not be treated like a little bitch
at 17 you have no wisdom whatsoever, you've seen nothing and done nothing. I'm not sure if I would tell you or not because it could fuck up a good joint parenting situation and I don't know if you're mature enough to handle that.
I guess it comes down to the individual but I remember being 17 and I know lots of kids around your age from my kids school. I barely trust you to make your bed in the morning.
So once I turn 18, I automatically become transform from a useless unproductive 17 year old into this capable, mature, and powerful adult?
Dude, you’re posting on TRP, it’s gonna take a lot longer than 18
No. Quite frankly I would disregard merchcon's way of framing the issue as it is incorrect.
Maturity and wisdom are the byproduct of life experience plus self reflection and analysis of your surroundings. When one has seen the same behaviors and cycles over and over again, it enables one who makes an effort to see patterns and draw conclusions about life. When one experiences intense suffering as a result of a life decision or choice, for some it leads to learning. It should be noted not all people mature with age.
At 17, a large part of your information comes from second hand knowledge (i.e. your parents and school) as opposed to personal knowledge (rooted in experience). Your values and your identity are shaped by this second hand knowledge. For many, this is why their views change in early adulthood (21-27) - a greater part of your knowledge is rooted in personal experience as opposed to second hand knowledge.
However, I certainly wouldn't agree with the statement "you've seen nothing and done nothing". Even though a lot of what you know is second hand knowledge, you certainly have enough experience with interpersonal relationships to understand marital infidelity. Hell you've probably seen cheating in your own high school.
Teenagers are infantilized far too much these days.
17 is old enough to process a parent's infidelity being the source of a divorce.
The divorce is inevitably the cause of great pain and suffering- by 17, they deserve to know "why" the cause of such suffering if there is a clear cut reason like infidelity.
Infidelity is not ambiguous nor is it nuanced. It does not require "wisdom" to deal with.
Go read some counter points to your immature thought process and maybe you'll see (but probably not) that you're wrong.
You don't deserve shit
Maybe their lives were better with two parents living separately? I've seen it happen many times now that I'm of the age where divorces happen. I've also seen it go bad but it's usually because parents shit talk each other and fuck their kids up.
What I see is an individual who is so inarticulate that they cannot explain their own viewpoint.
Calm down Mr. Internet tough guy- this isn't about "me" or "you".
Should separate parents complain about how housework was allocated or their boring sex life to their kids? Definitely not. But marital infidelity is not nearly so nuanced and is an issue that I do not see as having "two sides". I don't buy the argument that one spouse "made" another cheat through some action or lack thereof.
Why does a 17 year old deserve to know about it? Because it's not simply a betrayal of the spouse that was cheated on, but of the family itself.
god you're such an arrogant shithead
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lmao. four words. treat people with respect
It's much easier- instead of foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog with insults- to argue against your opponent's arguments with better arguments, than to resort to ad hominen
you're right- children, and adolescents often lack wisdom, but telling them so disrespectfully discourages them from developing wisdom, because you've turned that trying and curious spirit into an indignant one. Men like you are the reason growing up was fucking annoying, so fuck off. Just because you've seen some shit doesn't make you the authority on anything. Sit the fuck down and be humble
Don't know why your comments haven't been removed, since your vocabulary consists of "moron" "fucking" and "shit", and it's a bit of both narrow and not appropriate.
Old enough to join the military. Old enough to know your mother is threatening to kill your father
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The threads are banned. A bunch of pussies these people are
End of the day, he shouldn't have told his kids. He did so because he's a weak sauce little faggot. He lost all of his power when he turned that wench against him.
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer
The only reason he posted that shit on that shit sub is because he's a validation whore who hoped the BluePill Reddit hivemind would approve of his bullshit.
My empathy isn't for his situation, but his lack of frame and masculinity that allowed him to become a man dealing with a situation he never really had to deal with. If he entered this situation out of a position of power and not weakness, he wouldn't be in this pickle now would he?
You reap what you sow
Yeah, always lie/hide/deceive. Just like a good functional female.
Turns out, in your view, to not be a "weak sauce faggot" one must act like the average decepto-female. Cool !