320,342 posts

The value of standing up for your friends in the face of disrespect.

by Mr_Zarika on /r/TheRedPill
22 March 2018 06:31 AM UTC
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Quick post for you all.

Summary: Allowing women to disrespect your friends is a proxy for disrespecting you. I have a great friend who stood up for me today when I was being attacked by a shitty girl in our group.

Body: I have a main guy that I go out with and we aim to culture strong social circles that we can use to get laid. He recently started bringing 2 girls out, he was interested in the hottest of the two.

We went out for drinks in a group with a third girl. The girl he's interested in is insulting and bantering with us. She has some self-depreciating joke, and I snap back at one point saying that some feature she has is not bad, in fact it's totally great.

"It's make you seem more attainable."

She loses it. Starts actually trying to insult me, telling me to go home and how I'm an actual asshole. I tease her a bit more asking if this is really good acting or not, but also get annoyed. I just start laughing at her, saying she can dish it out but not take it. She won't stop. The other girls are getting uncomfortable at her aggression. My friend gets up from the table, pays his bill and asks if I'd like to leave.


We leave and he says that he's not about letting girls disrespect his friends. They're not hanging out with us again.

Lessons learned:

First, I'm seriously impressed with my friend. I'm reminded that it's important to maintain the age old "bros b4 hoes" mantra. But when you have guys in your life who you care about, let them know. We often go without actually verbalizing our love for our friends. Tell them that their brotherhood is valuable to you and you appreciate your friendship together.

There's a limit to over coming "shit tests". One or two sure, but if a girl is just a pain to be around, GET RID OF HER. Some women are just shitty women and need to be cast overboard. Women should be charming and you should want to be around them. Interaction shouldn't be a chore. Our time is worth more than that guys.

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Post Information
Title The value of standing up for your friends in the face of disrespect.
Author Mr_Zarika
Upvotes 857
Date 22 March 2018 06:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/49306
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/869gjn/the_value_of_standing_up_for_your_friends_in_the/
Similar Posts


309 upvotesdisposable_pants1 year ago

My friend gets up from the table, pays his bill and asks if I'd like to leave.

Note the interaction (or lack thereof) here. This guy isn't a dick to the woman, he's not trying to put anyone in their place, he just gets up and walks away. If you're in this guy's shoes, you may be angry. You may have something to say. You may feel tempted to "win" the interaction. Fuck all that.

The only way to "win" here is to stay cool, get up, and leave. You don't have time for this shit, and you should show that, not tell it. Being an asshole scores you no points with anyone. Being an adult when someone else is throwing a tantrum does.

30 upvoteswhimsyNena1 year ago

Don't feed the drama! Best advice anyone can ever give. Your time and energy is valuable and it's beneath you to waste it gathering logs to throw in the fire. If people like this could be reasoned with, they wouldn't behave that way to begin with!

14 upvotesSPREAD_THE_LOVE_77911 year ago

As soon as I was done reading the post my mind started racing with what I would say to tell them off. Good thing I decided to read your comment too. This is definitely the best course of action. I guess my ego still wants to show them because I'm not content enough yet with myself.

2 upvotessuburban-bad-boy1 year ago

Absolutely, we need to stop being smart asses and become smartest of asses.

206 upvotesCapnPoot1 year ago

Great post, and very true. Sometimes its cool to take a hit for one of the boys, but theres a line that women need to learn they cant cross. Besides for the fact that it makes them want you more for making them seem like trash, the actual point should be that you have your boys back no matter what.

Mad respect for your friend

124 upvotesDark_T1001 year ago

Nice post. Your friends a true "alpha". Betas would throw you under the bus.

Something else that is related and very common is when one chooses to help betas by way of sharing RP ideas with the intention of helping them improve themselves - then that BP friend promptly goes and tells the world about your "misogynistic" ideals thinking itll score them brownie pussy points for being a white knight.

Be careful about helping betas. Theyll turn on you in an instant because theyll readily abandon their ideals in their desperation for fish taco.

Good on you for hanging around with the right people.

10 upvotesFranckShmibery1 year ago

Fish tacos are delicious. Oh wait, I’m just hungry.

6 upvoteswhimsyNena1 year ago

This right here. Betas cannot keep women or attract one of higher attraction on their own. It's a misconception they won't have the balls to be jerks to other men. They aren't abandoning their ideals, they're doing exactly what they've always done: skimming the water for leftovers.

3 upvotesblkMGTOW071 year ago

Ugh.... I shuttered as I read the words "fish taco".

110 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

That's a great post. My best friend in college ended up being a disappointment in that regard, as I learned later that past all our chumminess he would throw me under a bus for a decent smash piece in a hot second.

I still keep in touch, but he ended up marrying an ex slut with peroxide blonde hair who quickly gained piggy status after the vows.

Real male friendship is difficult in this world, far more difficult than a bit of female companionship in my opinion. Due to the hermeneutics of gay suspicion and the erosion of the old more organic male social groupings.

42 upvotescBIGONE1 year ago

Same here. Had 4 "friends" back in the day who would actually tell girls I had an sti, I was an asshole, abusive,etc. behind my back. Wondered why I didn't get laid in years. Dropped all of them, went for my dreams, and now they are all married to some fat hb5s

-13 upvoteszyqkvx1 year ago

How did he throw you under the bus? Don't tell me it was because he ghosted you for a month while tending his pussy patch.

27 upvotesMinervaBlade891 year ago

What kind of insults did she throw at you? I'm curious where the line was drawn

79 upvotesMr_Zarika [OP]1 year ago

She stood up in the bar and said, "Who invited you? You're just a fucking asshole. You know that?"

She then tried to tell me I wasn't allowed to come with them to the next bar because "nobody likes you".

Everyone in ear shot was looking at her. Her friends were all embarrassed.

52 upvotesSageKnows1 year ago

Holy shit, that's a total bitch move

17 upvotesAuspexAO1 year ago

Your friend is a badass, but sometimes these outbursts will happen and you won't have backup. Either you leave and look like you're defeated, or fight and look like you're sinking to that ridiculous level. Remember that emotion is reality for women. If you can sabotage the emotion and replace it with another one, the behavior will stop.

An example: Smile and say something like, "You're sure making a lot of noise about someone you don't like. <Indicate her friend at the table> and I are getting married tonight, so I'm gonna have to pass." Then make sure and give her friend a little kino joke punch or squeeze to show that you're both in control and also win her over to your side. She's most likely subordinate to this queen of terror, and will appreciate the attention. You undercut the drama by continuously treating her negative emotion as if it were an act of affection for you. A woman who truly despises you will ignore you like any other incel.

Personally, I think the angry ones are sexy as shit, and will play that up for laughs. If you're not comfortable doing that in public you can just pretend you're enjoying a good movie. Look her right in the eye, smile, and ask a lot of questions. "Oh, I can't go with you to the next bar? I'm missing out." <laugh>

4 upvotesMr_Zarika [OP]1 year ago

I think the best reply would have been, "I don't remember asking for your opinion."

Shove her back, and disqualify. But hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

7 upvotesFlying_Wingback1 year ago

Yup, the classic shaming and scolding tactic all bitches use

3 upvotesmcavvacm1 year ago

Honestly who wouldn't leave someone like that in their own wallowing misery? Was the best decision.

-18 upvotesInescapableTruths1 year ago

we aim to culture strong social circles that we can use to get laid

I'm reminded that it's important to maintain the age-old "bros b4 hoes" mantra.

RED PILL: She obviously figured out your game and responded in a way she hoped would alert your intended victims. May Karma deprive you of all further opportunities to score until such time as you learn to treat women appropriately and stop disrespecting them just as you felt disrespected. (In other words, her comments served you right; you were treated in exactly the same way you were intending to treat others.)

If the truth hurts, so be it.

23 upvotesskittles_man1 year ago


19 upvotesacekilo1 year ago

Great post. Most guys are pussyboys nowadays that would choose hoes over bros. If you have a friend like that, drop his ass or don't hang around them. You are what you tolerate!!!!

12 upvotesesirnus181 year ago

I've had the same thing happened to me not too long ago. We went out drinking with my best buddy and I will admit he's the better looking one from the two of us.(I'm the funny guy in the team) We managed to secure two very attractive college girls by midnight and were on the fast track to a "double fuck date" or foursome as some might call it. Unfortunately I started slamming shots way too fast and way too many. By 2.am when we were about to take an Uber to their place I was completely shitfaced and could barley walk. As it turned out the girls proposed new plan to go and have a threesome with my buddy and leave me on the side of the road or whatever. They didn't care, they also called me all kind of names in my face and behind my back. My buddy told them to fuck themselves and forced them to apologize to me. Then he cancelled Uber, cancelled the orgy, and walked me home safely. He could have easily banged the shit out of those girls and leave me behind, but he didn't. No homo but I love this guy and I'm lucky I have a friend like that.

12 upvotesMentORPHEUS1 year ago

when we were about to take an Uber to their place I was completely shitfaced and could barley walk. As it turned out the girls proposed new plan to go and have a threesome with my buddy and leave me on the side of the road or whatever. They didn't care, they also called me all kind of names in my face and behind my back.

In this case, sounds like you had nothing left to recommend respect. Don't count on your buddy covering for and respecting you a limitless number of times if you keep getting munted when you go out.

Drinking till you are plastered is bad for your game, and in a greater sense, your masculinity.

6 upvotesesirnus181 year ago

I know that painfully well. So many good nights and opportunities lost because of my drinking. Lord knows I'm working on it...that being said I'm half Irish and half Polish

4 upvotesblister3331 year ago

Jesus man who gets this drunk outside of high school or college?

29 upvotesPer_severance1 year ago

Your friend is a true keeper! Great story and incredibly valuable lesson

12 upvotesMentORPHEUS1 year ago

I snap back at one point saying that some feature she has is not bad, in fact it's totally great.

"It's make you seem more attainable."

Was that last sentence supposed to be some kind of autistic complement? In reality, it was a guided missile making a direct hit on her self image and SMV. Of course she went nonlinear on you.

If you wanted to keep this in the banter zone, soft-accuse her of fishing for validation in this context. It's like ping-pong; keep the game rolling by returning the ball commensurate with the skill and intensity of your opponent. If you return a soft serve with a power drive, the game becomes no fun and your opponent is liable to lash out at you.

8 upvoteswickedogg1 year ago

The line between teasing and insulting is somewhat subjective and sometimes people fuck up on one side or the other. Being able to read the reactions of the people around you is really important in figuring out whether a statement is an insult or just teasing and it's something that people struggle with in high school while maturing.



27 upvotesTheLoneProspector1 year ago

"It's make you seem more attainable." - this is not charming at all. She had a right to be a little offended. You're essentially confirming her insecurities.

Dunno this post is dumb. Feel like you caused your friend to lose out.

25 upvotesthr0wed_1 year ago

Agreed, I think there’s a lesson to be learned here. When your friend is gaming a slut, your job is to be his hype man and basically have no controversial opinions on anything or say anything wrong. However sometimes even with the best coddling / game, bitches can get out of pocket and go on power trips / rants like this. I’ve had it happen to me. Vindictive bitches love to have power over the “helpless” friend / wingman.

I’d say OP could have definitely been more charming.

The bitches reaction was overkill tho. I do think OPs friends reaction after the situation occurred was the right thing to do.

5 upvotesTheLoneProspector1 year ago

Yeah, she was looking for either a compliment or for a fight. Seems like OP chose the fight. I also misread the post and thought it was one of her friends that was acting up. Feel like it's even worse now that I know it was his boy's girl. OP could have gotten some points with her friends if he handled it congenially. Really seems like an all around fail, but at least his buddy chose his friend. Guess that's the silver lining.

1 upvotesDieEinfalt1 year ago

She has some self-depreciating joke, and I snap back at one point saying that some feature she has is not bad, in fact it's totally great.

"It's make you seem more attainable."

Whenever you hear a depreciating joke from a woman, 99% of the time they're fishing for compliments. Don't know what you were trying to do here.

We do not teach supplicating to shit-test's.

7 upvotesarseitz1 year ago

He was saying that her negative feature makes her less intimidating to guys, which is an insult.

3 upvotesSageKnows1 year ago

Wow what a bitch. Your friend did a right thing! It's a sign of just being a genuine good friendship. I did something like that once too, was with a girl in a cafe and she was being all bitchy and annoying so I left. She messaged me later how she was terribly sorry and whatnot. Lesson: know your worth and don't be afraid to show it, it will earn you respect.

4 upvotesmarkinsinz71 year ago

Man I wish I was that lucky in life. I'd take that friendship over hot girl relationship any day of the week

3 upvotesredpill771 year ago

Can't fully tell, but it sounds like you might have been uncalibrated. Maybe she was doing things light-heartedly and if you did "snap back" and if there was any malice or even poor delivery its understandable that she got angry.

The fact that you put quotation marks around "shit test" makes me think you don't really understand what they are. If she was shit testing you, that's an IOI and you should be focusing on the fact that you failed it. If she was just mad you were being uncalibrated. If she is really just a bitch you should still be focusing on how you could have handled it. It's great you appreciate your friend, but ideally he shouldn't be taking care of you.

11 upvoteszyqkvx1 year ago

The girl he's interested in is insulting and bantering with us. She has some self-depreciating joke, and I snap back at one point saying that some feature she has is not bad, in fact it's totally great.

A woman said a self deprecating joke? You mean she said a joke that was depreciating to you, right?

2 upvotesnaIamgood1 year ago

You are truely lucky to have friends. I had Bros would you kill you to be with an average girl.

2 upvotesyummyluckycharms1 year ago

Rare to find friendship like this - especially in beta-fied cities. Seen too many guys at bars breakup with the friends over a girl, which is crazy as girls are plentiful if you have your shit together.

1 upvotesbider_swit1 year ago

Can people state their opinions without insulting one another?

1 upvotesvegetaarsenal1 year ago

The quality of posts here is so much better than what mgtow has become.

1 upvotesNocryingok1 year ago

Today I had scheduled a cool reunion with my buddies here at the farm where I live, to celebrate the start of Autumn. It’s 30 minutes from town.

One of the guys, the one who was the most excited about it, just bailed because ‘a hot girl from Tinder’ wants to go out. Not only it shows his priorities but also made me look bad, since he had promised me that he’d give my plate a ride (I’m not gonna drive 2ways myself)

What’s the purpose of having friends if you can’t trust them?

2 upvotesMr_Zarika [OP]1 year ago

All it cost you was a slight embarassment to learn something about this guy. A worthwhile investment imo.

Now you know.

1 upvotesNocryingok1 year ago

I feel quite pessimistic seeing what happened, but on the other hand agree with you: at least now I know not to trust

1 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Bitches be crazy.

I've had girls telling me they're going to glass me or smash a bottle across my face in serious manner. After 2 minutes, they invite me back to their place to chill. All I did was tell the girl I was gay and every time she touched me I was losing my erection.

Maybe my game isn't calibrated right but still bitches be crazy.

-3 upvotes1v1crown1 year ago

I mean... you're a pussy dude. You talked shit and couldn't deal with her defending yourself... that's the moral of this story. You're a joke.

1 upvotesblkMGTOW071 year ago

What would you have done differently?

12 upvotes1v1crown1 year ago

Not talked shit to her for no reason. OP tried to neg her and it backfired. I don't use negging to get girls I don't know, it only works if you know the girl a bit.

OP is autistic. Clinging onto his male idol friend after his failed pickup attempt.

5 upvotesImHerWonderland1 year ago

"The girl he's interested in is insulting and bantering with us"

Sounded like she started it. Absolutely nothing wrong with shooting the shit. OP didn't want that girl anyhow, his friend wanted her. Clinging to his friend is autistic? What would be better, saying her joke was invalid and reassuring her that she had no flaws and was an extremely beautiful princess?

-7 upvotes1v1crown1 year ago

No. Never said anything like that. You are putting words in my mouth like a woman would.

If you're gunna talk shit, assume you're gunna get shittalked back.

If the shit hit the fan, I'd tell her shes a fucking cunt loudly and then slap her in the face then choke her on the bar counter until she passes out. Then go back to my seat and enjoy the rest of the night with friends while shes pissing her pants unconscious. Obviously. Then I'd fuck that boyfriend friend alpha guy that I love who left with OP. And by fuck I mean spead my cheeks for him and let him cum deep in my asshole.

Any other life advice you need just PM me.

1 upvotesImHerWonderland1 year ago

There is a difference between talking shit in a friendly manner, and trying to be a bitch, and that goes for this situation and between friends.

The opposite of what OP did would be what I described in my last comment. Not saying you said to do that, but that is the opposite. If you decide to back yourself up with something serious I'll hear you out, but if you're just going to write more fanfic it's a pass.

-5 upvotesBruhMan871 year ago

So some chick dissed you, you paid the bill and ended up leaving with your "main guy"?


1 upvotesblkMGTOW071 year ago

What would you have done differently?

-7 upvotesChadTheWaiter1001 year ago

Whenever a situation like this arises you have to ask yourself- would she treat brad Pitt this way? Would she act like this in front of chris brown?

1 upvotesrambler4291 year ago

Chris Brown may be a bad example - He'd just punch her in the face.

-17 upvotesLuis_McLovin1 year ago

So basically everyone in this story is an asshole, you dish out hate to her and she dishes it back to you.

17 upvotesSir_Distic1 year ago

Hopefully you'll gain some knowledge from my reply. I'm guessing not.

He bantered with her. Playfully joking and teasing. She got mad and insulted him. Trying to get him mad. She can then play the victim. OP didn't fall for it. That is what we call "holding frame".

-7 upvotesLuis_McLovin1 year ago

Its a group of toxic people doing what they do best, being toxic.

1 upvotesmonkeysword881 year ago

Nothing toxic about some playful banter, man.

1 upvotesGettingaware1 year ago

Playful banter based around self depreciation and putting others down its definitely poison talk.

People with self worth dont go around trying to make scenes in bars and restaurants.

If you read the op it says she was putting herself down and he tried to compliment her instead. This leads to a scene but somehow its just banter? No theres some mental issues with her going on there.

But furthermore, why is putting each other down okay? What state of mind are we in when we find this entertaining and accepting?

Not trying to be rude but i think its fake and lower brain activity. Like other people do its so its somehow okay social behavior.

Personally i found out that while im very good at dishing out insults to people i know its never the same afterwards. It creates friction and the other person looking for their comeback, and it never felt good when i got burned either.

I dont think ive ever seen a respectable winner in life whose idea of playful banter was putting people down.

4 upvotesMike_34871 year ago

Uh....I see it way different. She completely lost frame. The two guys played it cool. I bet her two friends think she's a real bitch - - or confirmed that she's a bitch because she's probably done this before. Also the two friends probably loved the fact that the guys held frame. I bet if they ask the other two out again it would be an easy lay for them.

Reading comprehension.

1 upvotesIMIGHTBERIGHT201 year ago

Attention Idiots. Attention Idiots. Please read this entire comment and engrave it into your weak minded brains. Get a job you stupid lazy pieces of shit. Get a job. Right now. Get off the couch and step away from the Blue Bunny Tub of Ice Cream. I have a suggestion for some of you retards. You want women who look good and are attractive?? How bout ya dumbass lazy fucks get rid of your flabby arms and beer guts and then stop living double standards you fucking idiots. I mean Jesus Christ I have never come across a more stupid subreddit in my life. Wah Wah I don't know what to do with my life. Wah Wah. All women suck. WAHHHH. I think 80% of you faggots are overweight slobs. Get a job, stop relying on your parents to pay for everything, and get your fat asses in the gym. Your welcome idiots.

29 upvotesVisionsofGandhi11 year ago

Woooow you're so alpha, Where did you receive this colossal, grandiose information of yours? Man edgelords are ruining this place.

14 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

Found the college kid living off of his parents.

13 upvotes • [deleted] • 1 year ago

One of the main things this subreddit suggests is lifting... But yeah we're all fat slobs...

"Your welcome idiots" - oh the irony

6 upvotesRipple221 year ago

Spotted the blue piller. Enjoy your lie of A life fucko. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

6 upvotesDark_T1001 year ago

I have never sucked cock before, but if any of my friends ever need their dicks sucked, ill refer them to you. I know youll take good care of them.

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