Though it may offend your egalitarian indoctrination, the only way to maintain an LTR is for you to be better than she is.

If she knows that she must pay for your attention with whatever currency you desire, and that your SMV is higher than hers, you can increase the otherwise slim chances that you can maintain a functional and interesting LTR or marriage.

I know of a handful of successful marriages and relationships, and in all of them, there is no question as to who possesses the higher status. Her status can approach yours, but can never surpass it. She should work to improve or maintain her level lest you pull too far away and you should endeavor to improve lest she surpass and then replace you. Intellectual improvement must also take a similar path. If she can explain the “Allegory of the Cave” then you should be able to elaborate on its metaphors.

My wife works out because she knows I am going to. She reads because she want to have conversation starters. At 49 she is the same 125lbs she was at 16 when I met her and her literacy is impressive. The other successful LTRs I mentioned mirror this model to one degree or another.

Also, she must know, and dread, the fact that you are capable of obtaining comparable or better female companionship. If she knows this, your bedroom will be immortal.

We often dine with another couple, both teachers, on Friday nights. Their marriage saddens me as she is his intellectual and visual superior even though she is a decade older than him.

I made a joke last Friday night about heading home early to “gag the wife.” My friend looked at his feet and his wife remarked, “you’re lucky; I won’t do that.” My wife replied, “well for every girl who won’t, there’s a girl who will.”

As difficult as it is to find a decent girl these day, I advise young men to avoid LTRs in general and marriage specifically as there is so much to lose in attempting to trust that which is innately untrustworthy.

However, if you must, be better than they are.