Earlier this year after I (27yo) hooked up with a fwb (7/10 20yo) we began talking.

I don't know how it came up but she asked me what I looked for in a potential long-term-relationship (she probably thought she had a shot lol keep dreaming). I said intelligence, looks, being feminine, low n-count (which she raged at cause she's a bit of a slut haha) and good personality. She met two of those things, looks and being feminine. This girl is a vet student but besides being book smart she still seemed dumb. I think it was an age thing younger girls seem so vapid.

Anyway, me being curious, I turned around and asked her what she looked for in a potential ltr, expecting her to list basically every attribute that I had. The first thing she said was "A guy who wears shoes when he goes to the mall". I burst out laughing in her face, and then she turns around in a shitty mood and goes "Whats so funny about that? I'm being serious. I want a guy that looks after himself." Turns our she was being serious. Turns out a lot of guys she has dated don't wear shoes when they go out of their house, let alone to the mall.

I don't know why, but what she said resonated with me. And I started thinking about all the conversations and hookups I've had with girls in my life. When I first met this girl I almost didn't approach and almost fucked it up because I thought I wasn't good enough for her. I thought she was this smart, hot, young girl that would have all these super high quality dudes after her and would have super high standards. Now she says a guy who wears shoes to the mall is good enough for her? Hahaha what was I thinking.

I have come to the conclusion that us guys continuously misjudge what girls expectations are. A lot of us guys are our own worst enemy. We assume we don't meet the standards of these women, and then choose not to approach, lose confidence, break it off, show weakness and fuck it up for ourselves. Don't let your false assumptions get in the way of your success. We all build these stories up in our mind about what we think these women deserve. These stories are just stories, us thinking and hindering our success.

I will take this a step further. In my experience, more often than not, if you get rejected as a guy, it's because in the woman's eyes you two don't "connect" (confidence), not because you don't meet her standards in our sense of the word. If you get rejected as a girl, it's because they don't meet our standards (usually hotness or n-count), not because we don't 'connect'. We apply our standards thinking to women, when in fact they are playing a totally different ball game and thinking a totally different way. Once you get past these false beliefs that women have standards similar to ours, your success will improve much more with women.